Tangled: The Series (2017) s02e18 Episode Script

You're Kidding Me!

1 (theme song playing) I got the wind in my hair and a fire within 'Cause there's something beginning I got a mystery to solve and excitement to spare That beautiful breeze blowing through I'm ready to follow it who knows where And I'll get there, I swear With the wind in my hair NARRATOR: Previously on "Tangled" (dramatic music) RAPUNZEL: We are stuck.
Or maybe not CASSANDRA: Raps, I know what you're thinking.
But that place creeps me out.
RAPUNZEL: Mr.
Matthews, what is this place? It's called "The House of Yesterday's Tomorrow.
" The good news is you are welcome to stay as long as you like.
Something's not right.
Why is this huge place just sitting here in the middle of nowhere? And that guy, or innkeeper, or whatever he is, just takes us in, offers us food and a place to stay for the night without asking for a single coin? RAPUNZEL: Look, Cass, I know this is weird, but you gotta admit, this isn't the weirdest thing we've seen on the road.
(dramatic music) (rooster crowing) (chicks chirping) (yawns) Mm Good morning, Pascal! (squeaking) RAPUNZEL: You know, aside from the fact that we were nearly replaced by evil doppelgangers last night, the House of Yesterday's Tomorrow offers a pretty good night's sleep! Well, it's certainly the coziest seashell-shaped inn I've ever slept in.
I've stayed at a cozier one.
No, wait that was a seashell shaped like an inn.
- Five stars.
- Uh, wait a minute - the door.
- CASSANDRA: It was right here yesterday! Now, everyone relax! There's a solution to every problem.
- (knocking) - (laughs) (crying) It's no use! We're trapped! It's all over! (normally) Okay what's for breakfast? Come on, guys! There's gotta be another way out of here.
Except in this case.
- Whoa! - (air whooshing) - (all gasp) - Cass! (air whooshing) (pants) That's not an exit.
(growling) Dog, dog, dog, dog! A dog kennel.
And why not, right? Well, at least we can take that door off the list.
Hey! I found the way out! Whoa! (cheery music) (bouncing in the distance) CASSANDRA: Shorty, this isn't a way out! Well, not with that attitude, it's not.
Well, look, the adults would like to find a (footsteps) Oh, great.
(in a bear voice) Hello! My name is Eugene Fitzher bear rawr.
Wow, yeah, your teddy bear voice could use some work.
Not to mention your pun skills, Blondie.
(normally) Okay, fine, fine.
But isn't this crazy?! Whoever all this belongs to is one lucky kid.
One lucky spoiled kid.
Oh, Eugene, there's nothing wrong with indulging a kid every now and then.
Ah, ah, ah, now that's a slippery slope.
Kids need boundaries.
You gotta let them know who's boss.
(in a bear voice) Ooh! Got to let dem know who boss! Grrr! And he's gone.
- (toy swords whack) - CASSANDRA: Okay, playtime's over.
Aw, come on, Cass! Lighten up.
When do we ever get the chance to play with amazing toy swords like this? You do realize we have actual swords.
, right? Yeah, but, uh, since these are just toys they don't hurt.
Yee-aw! (chuckles) Sure about that? Okay, sword time's over.
(small door slides open) - (eerie music) - (small door slides shut) Now, come on, enough messing around.
We've gotta find an exit (gasps) CASSANDRA: No way! I used to have a top just like this! I love these things! Uh, Cassandra (chuckles) you like tops? - Got a problem with that? - No, by all means.
Spin away.
- (clang) - (button clicks) - (top whirs) - CASSANDRA: Look at it go! - (top powering up) - (Cassandra giggling) Does this seem weird to anybody else? ALL: Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Well, we'd better keep looking for a way out of here.
- (children laughing) - (growls) (children continue laughing) - (children talking) - (kitchen supplies clang) - (whooshing) - (children continue laughing) Are those RAPUNZEL: our friends? KID CASSANDRA: You can't catch me! (children laughing) Ehh (cooing) Ah! (cooing) (groans) Tag! You're it, Fitzherjerk! Yep, definitely them.
Best.
Playtime.
Ever! Okay, okay, something in this house has turned you all into children.
So if we're going to turn you back, we're gonna need answers.
Na-na-na.
- Hey, you wanna play chase? - EUGENE: What?! Play chase? No! We need to know what happened! So speak up.
Uh, Eugene, maybe you'd better let me talk to them.
(Shorty squeals, burps) Hi, Lance, so, I see you're making something very tall.
Doesn't that look fun? Mm-mm.
(dishes clanking together) So, Lance, sweetheart, uh, can you tell us how all this happened? How what happened? How you were turned into kids.
Who turned to kids? How you were turned into kids Why do you have a bird in your hair? - Oh, well, because I like birds - What kind of birds are they? Well, um, it's not really any kind of bird, it's more of a simple design.
Why's your hair so long? I bet it's because you're really, really, old.
Well, no, actually, it's Where do clouds go at night? What's your favorite song? What sound would zero make if it wasn't a number? What's for dinner? (squish) Cass, you need to come down from there right now, and tell me what's going on.
Sure.
I've been wanting to tell you something, anyway.
(mysterious music) Ear flick! (laughs) Well, it's nice to see that young Cassandra is even more pleasant than Cassandra Classic.
(Shorty burps) Why don't crabs have eyebrows? Because they have an exoskeleton.
Do I have an exoskeleton? No, you have an endoskeleton.
- Do fishes have a nose? - They do not have noses, but they do have nostrils.
Now, can I ask you a few questions KID CASSANDRA: Woo-hoo! - (Kid Cassandra laughing) - Hey! Cassandra, that's not nice.
What do you have to say for yourself? I have to say I love the "boom" sound it made.
(giggling) - Ten out of ten.
- (both kids laugh) KID CASSANDRA: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids! The princess is not a maypole! (cooing) (cooing continues) (kids fighting) - (Pascal squeaks) - (Cassandra gasps) Ooh, a lizard! Oh! I wanna hold him! I wanna hold him! - (squeaks) - (snotty breathing) (squeaks) - (squeaking) - (rapid heartbeat) (squeals) Okay Lance! Be careful! He's not a squishy toy! Lance always loved animals as a kid.
(squeals, panting) (heavy footsteps) - A lizard - (Pascal squeals) (groaning) You're so cute, I wanna squish your face! I wanna squish your belly and your weird little lizard eyeballs! You're a little green baby, who's a little green baby? Who's a fancy little green baby? Yes you are, yes you are! Little baby? (gasps) Oh, wait, wait, where is baby Shorty? (laughing) - No! - (giggling) Fancy this? I see someone has got into the nursery! Ahh.
The Ol' Top of Time.
Ohh, look at the baby! Zut alor, that is one ugly baby, oui? MATTHEWS: Now, now, now, now, would you look at this mess? - He did it! - She did it! - He's lying! - She's lying! (both growling) The older you are, the younger it makes you.
This one must've been ancient.
(chuckles) Matthews, how do we turn our friends back, and get out of this place?! We want answers! Well, is that what you want, or what you need? Stop that.
In many cases, they are two very separate things.
Stop that.
However, in this case, it's most likely the same thing.
Will you stop that?! You have the mustache of your own! Mr.
Matthews, please.
Do you have any idea how to change our friends back? Surely, it's a cinch.
Simply find that top, and spin it in reverse.
Okay that seems easy enough.
Of course, you only have one hour to do so, or they'll remain kids forever.
And why is it that there's only just one hour to reverse these things?! Or, you could leave things as they are.
You know what they say, you know, "To be young again is good.
" It's a poor saying, what do you want from me, ou i? I'll leave you to it, then Now, now, now, don't forget We know! One hour to corral these kids back in that nursery or they'll be like this forever.
No.
I was just going to say: somebody went poopsies.
- (Kid Shorty laughs) - (Eugene groans) EUGENE: You know, it kills me to agree with him, but you are an ugly baby.
Alright, let's get back to that nursery Kids? EUGENE: Ugh.
No! Hey, get back here! (panting) Now, Lance, Cass, even though you're children, your voices matter.
This is a discussion.
So, whoever holds this gravy boat gets to talk, okay? - Ugh! This is - Oop, wait wait wait, wait wait I have the gravy boat.
Eugene and I only want to help turn you back to normal, but we can't do that if you keep running off.
So, I think from now on, we should stay together Alone we are strong, together we are stronger.
(blows raspberry) - (Pascal squeaks) - (blows raspberry) (grunting) Okay, okay.
Ha-ha-ha very funny, now it's time to KID CASSANDRA: My gravy boat! Can't talk without the gravy boat! (giggles) Lance, over here! (Pascal squeals) Okay, guys we've only got 30 minutes left Blondie, look, if we're gonna get this done, we really should think about being more firm.
Trust me, kids respond to authority.
Uh, trust me, Eugene.
Kids respond best when they feel like they're being heard.
Give them the freedom to express themselves without talking down to them, and they might just surprise you.
(crash) (squeal) Alright, you listen up! Here's the plan, kids: we are all going to go into the nursery, find that top and turn you back to normal.
We will not be running off.
We will not be breaking things.
And for the love of all things big and small, we will leave that poor frog alone.
(squeaks, panting) Is that clear? Are there any questions? Can I go to the bathroom? Again?! Can't it wait? C'mon, Eugene, he's just a kid.
Fine.
I'll take Lance to the bathroom.
Raps, you take the others to the nursery.
We'll be there in five.
Let's go, Lancey! You don't wanna be a kid forever.
One-two, one-two.
Y'know, Cass? Eugene shouldn't be so rigid with Lance.
That's why I'm glad we approached our relationship with a mutual respect, and built a solid rapport And she's missing.
Okay then, alright.
(chuckles) Now, do you wanna play chase? No, I don't want to play chase.
I thought you had to go to the bathroom.
- What's that? - That's a sculpture.
- What's it do? - It doesn't do anything.
It's art.
It's for people to look at.
- What people? - Just people.
Now, quit dillydallying.
- Can I have a piggy back ride? - For the fourth time, no.
- What's that? - That's another sculpture.
- What does it do? - It does the same ugh! Look, can we please stop with all these pointless questions?! Because you are killin' me here! - (Lance starts crying) - Oh, no no no no.
No, no, please don't cry! Please don't cry! I hate seeing kids cry.
It's gonna make me cry, and I have a really ugly crying face.
Hey, how about that piggyback ride? Yay! Giddy up, giddy up! Giddy up, giddy up! - What's that? - It's another sculpture.
LANCE: What's it do? (panting) - Cass? Where are you? - (Shorty cooing) - (crying) - Oh, sh-sh-sh-sh.
CASSANDRA: Woo-hoo! (Shorty coos) Okay, come on.
- We're running out of time.
- (Shorty cries) You can't touch the floor! It's made of lava! You're burning! Cassandra, we only have about 15 more You're burning! - (cries) - Shh! Aww, I thought my voice "mattered.
" - (crying continues) - (Rapunzel sighs) Oh no, the baby's headed straight for the lava lake! Oh, no! No, that's lava! (grunts) Not bad, huh, Cass? Cass? (Shorty screams) (grunting) Hey, Cass.
I think the lava's gone now.
Yeah, you know what? You're right It's acid! Ughh MATTHEWS: Yes(chuckles) they are a handful, aren't they? But, uh, motherhood suits you.
- What?! - I'm just suggesting that should you fail to acquire the top in time, it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
N'est pa? After all, you make a darling family, and this place would make quite the home for a family, don't you agree? EUGENE: Lance! Show me some hustle! Mr.
Matthews, I Do not go jelly-legs on me! You stand up right now! Blondie, why you just hanging there? Oh, you know, the floor is acid.
Ahhh! - Acid, acid, acid! - That's all I had to do?! (Shorty cries) Oh, look, there's the top! Raawr! - My turn! - No, you get to play with the wagon! Okay, okay, guys, we only have, like, five minutes, so maybe we might Give me that top right now, young lady! One two two and a half two and three quarters - Gimme that top! - Eugene, yelling at them won't get the top back! Oh, what should I do? Cuddle it out of them? What's that supposed to mean? It means you let these kids walk all over you.
And bossing them around seems to have worked really well! Let's go someplace a little less them.
Oh, hey, Lance was doing just fine until he was back under Cass's influence! Somehow I find that hard to believe! You know what? Let's just spin that top, and get out of this place! - Fine! - Fine.
Tally-ho! - (wagon creaking) - LANCE: Weeee! (squeals) (both panting) - (dramatic music) - (Shorty grunting) - (snoring and growling) - (Shorty cooing) And this is why I'm a cat person.
(quietly) You get Lance and I'll get Cass! We gotta get that top before the dogs wake up! RAPUNZEL: (whispering) Hey, Cass, sweetie, I know you want to get the top, and I know you're very brave, but you're in an unsafe situation right now, so I need you to please exit the kennel.
Uh-huh, you're not the boss of me.
(snoring) No I-I-I'm not telling you what to do.
But, I am strongly suggesting you reconsider Wow, Eugene was right.
You do let us walk all over you.
You guys are going to be disasters as parents.
- (Pascal squeaks) - Lancey-poo, come with me, - right now.
- Why this way? Because that's the way to the door, - and we have to go bye-bye.
- Why? (Pascal squeaking) - Hey, what are you - Okay, listen up, young lady.
Playtime is over! You get your rear-end outta this kennel right now! And walk on those tiptoes! - But - No buts! Out! Tiptoes! Now! Yes, ma'am.
(sighs) Listen to me: we have got to go! Why can't you just do what you're told? Because I'm a kid.
And kids need to feel like they're being heard.
Okay, Lance, what do you want to do? Huh, buddy? I'm listening.
I dunno.
Play chase? I was hoping you'd say that.
- Tag! You're it! - (happily babbling) No, no, no, you're supposed to chase me! Ge-ge-ge-ge, ahh Cass, Lance, wait outside for us.
That is an order! - Easy easy - (Shorty giggles) - (growls) - Uh-oh.
600 pounds of fur and slobber headed our way! (growling, barking) (vicious barking) Here boys, here you want a treat? Huh? Yeah, yeah, yeah ya do! Go get it! Alright, well, you're smarter than you look.
and I apologize for underestimating you.
(vicious barking) (Pascal squeaks) Baby Lance! The door! The door! (panicking) Uh uhh Why would you I meant go out the door! It's locked! - Why would you?! - I'm a kid.
(giggling) (puppies bark) - Aww.
- Come here, come here.
(kids happily playing) Okay, it was fun babysitting for the day, but let's get you guys back to normal.
Time to add about 16 years.
Uh, well, in Shorty's case, about 60 years? How old is Shorty exactly? 45 75 I have no idea.
(cranks, powers up) Hey, I'm still missing a couple teeth! You were always missing a couple teeth.
LANCE: We can keep the puppies, right? (puppies yapping) Still no way out.
And it's gonna take us forever to check this whole place.
Ugh, well, I guess we'll just have to stay here another night.
Today was really tough But you know, even though we didn't always agree on everything, I think our differing approaches ended up being complementary in a weird way.
(chuckles) Blondie, I completely agree.
If we ever do decide to have kids, assertiveness, compassion And a whole lot of love.
- Tag! You're it! - You do not know who you're messing with! Hey, hey, hey, no running in the house! Hey! Go easy on them.
The mirror failed.
The top failed.
But I promise you, Master, I will keep the Sundrop in this house.
Forever.
(theme music playing) Now I got my eyes open and wide My heart burnin' like fire Feels like I'm so alive I'm never goin' back Whatever I want now, I'm gonna chase Who I am, I can't contain it I'm not gonna hold it in 'Cause there's more of me to give Oh yeah There's more of me to give