Teen Titans (2003) s01e10 Episode Script

Mad Mod

Am I the only one who has no idea where we are? Why, you’re right where you belong, my duckies.
You’re in school! That’s right, lads and loveys.
You’re the only students at Mad Mod’s Institute for Bratty Teenage Do-Gooders.
And it’s high time someone taught you sprogs a lesson.
Titans! Move! My starbolts are useless! Specially designed chairs, love.
Can’t have those nasty superpowers disrupting my lecture now, can I? Get away from her! Now don’t get your knickers in a twist, my little snot.
I didn’t go to all the trouble of building this school and filling your Tower with knockout gas just to finish you off lickety-split.
Then what do you want? Just what I said, dearie.
To teach you lot a lesson! Yes, I’ve been watching you children misbehave.
And I hate misbehaving children.
Fighting crime.
Saving lives.
Interfering with the plans of hardworking villains.
Why, you lot are nothing but a bunch of troublemakers! But you’ll learn your place soon enough.
You see, I’m older than you, so I’m bigger, badder, and better.
Say wh- You’re in my world now.
And you won’t be getting out ’til you’ve learned some proper respect.
We will get out.
And when we do- Oh, dear, there’s the bell, my duckies.
Off to class! Now how can I teach you anything if you won’t sit still and listen? One of my hypno-screens ought to get your attention - and it’ll erase everything in your brain as well.
Can’t let him hypnotize me…got to stay focused… Naughty snotty.
If you’re gonna destroy school property, school property’s gonna destroy you.
Right, then.
Count along with Moddy.
Ten…nine…eight…seven…six…five…four…three…two…one! There goes my shot at perfect attendance.
Don’t be so sure, my little duckie.
You may be out of the classroom, but class is never dismissed.
Next lesson - physics! What goes up, stays up! Until I take it down! How did he-? You may as well chuck in the sponge, laddie! You can’t catch the likes of me! Now what did I tell you? Children today won’t listen to their betters! Have to learn everything the hard- Hey, oy! No throwing things while Teacher is talking! What?!? You’ve gotta be kidding me! NOOOO!! Starfire! NOOOOOOOOO!! I will not read your book of meanness and swirls! Now, now, love, it’s for your own good.
Nothing teaches discipline and respect like a brain-erasing trance.
Besides, if you won’t stop squirming… …I won’t stop squashing! Are all the schools on your planet this horrible? Come on! Robin! I wish to thank you for rescuing me from- Don’t thank me yet.
Mad Mod still has us right where he wants us.
I know we could take him if we could just get our hands on him.
But every time we get out of one trap… …there’s another one waiting.
Run, my duckies! Run all you like - but you’ll never get out! It’s no good procrastinating, really, because sooner or later you’ll both end up like him.
Beast Boy! Ah, yeah.
A model student, that one.
Sits there, quietly, never thinks about misbehaving - matter of fact, he never thinks at all! Beast Boy! Awaken! Your friends are here! Beast Boy? Wait! Trust me.
Here’s your hall pass.
Meet you outside.
Beast Boy? It is I, Starfire, your friend.
Please! Speak to me! Beast Boy? Beast Boy? BEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSTTTTTT BOOOOOOYYYYYY!! Ah, Star? I don’t think that’s working.
But we must do something or he will remain this way forever.
Mad Mod! Come on! We’ll hide here and then take him by surprise.
Any way to keep him quiet? Cyborg! Raven! Oh, how glad we are to see you! This place is making me crazy! Tell me about it.
Mad Mod’s wacked-out computer lab nearly crashed my hard drive.
Where did our captor send you? Gym.
Anybody seen BB? Mad Mod’s hypno-screens.
We can’t snap him out of it.
We’ve tried everything.
Did you try this? Nice one! Uh…how did I get here and why am I covered in drool? Wonderful! Now we need only to locate an exit.
Or just keep blasting ’til we make one.
Last thing I smashed tried to smash me back.
I’m sure this whole place is booby-trapped.
Then how are we supposed to get out? We’re not.
Don’t you get it? Mad Mod’s just gonna keep messing with us until- -we mess with him.
That cane of his controls everything in here.
We take the cane- -we take control- -and take him down! Oh, I’ll find him.
That demented doofus is never hypnotizing me again! Come on.
Won’t you lot ever learn? You’re in my world, my duckies.
You can’t win.
Titans! Go! But how do I- Make him laugh! How many Okaarans does it take to hoegee a morflark? Finbarr! Um…boo-gers? Boogers! Aw, man! No way! Is that what I think it is? One way to find out.
Looks like the real deal.
No! Right back where we started! Of course you are, my duckies.
Class is over - and you lot haven’t learned a thing.
That’s a failing grade for each blooming one of you.
There’s only one thing for it.
You’ll have to repeat the entire lesson! Time for class, my duckies.
Everyone back to your seats! Titans! Get that cane! Oy, no roughhousing! Do I have to separate you lot? Yo! Azarath Metrion Zinthos! Little help here? I don’t do funny.
You asked for it.
Awesome! Aw, not again! No! Don’t look at the screen, don’t look at the screen- -don’t look at the screen, don’t look at the screen- Oh, give it a rest, snotty.
You’ve already lost! The cane isn’t real! Which means Mad Mod is just as fake as everything else in here! Time for a reality check! Yeah, this should teach those saucy little ankle-biters some respect.
Just a tick.
I’ve lost Robin.
Uh…minor technical hitch, my duckies.
Pay no mind, I’ll have it fixed in a- My machines! That meddling little snot will pay for- Hello, guv’nor.
School’s out, Mod.
And you’re looking at about twenty years of detention.
Oh, yeah, this is definitely the real deal.
School always seems smaller after you graduate, doesn’t it? Just don’t expect me to go to any reunions.
I cannot awaken Beast Boy.
I have tried the tickling, all manner of bodily noises, and the word “underpants.
” I fear that this time his brain is gone forever.
Beast Boy had a brain? Good one! Dude! That’s not funny! I totally have a brain! I just don’t use it much.