Teen Titans (2003) s03e07 Episode Script


[CHATTER, SHOUTING] MAN: Happy Fourth of July.
Oh, yeah.
[LAUGHS] [CAR HORNS HONKING] WOMAN: Whoo! MAN: Whoo-hoo! The burgers are cheesed, the dogs are hot, and the fireworks are about to begin.
Man, I love the Fourth of July! Please.
This is a celebration of the month July, or of the number four? Neither.
It's Independence Day.
Sort of like America's birthday.
Should we then bake the America a cake? No cake and no tea.
BEAST BOY: See, it all started back in 1492 with this tea party in Boston.
[SLURPING] King George.
Or maybe it was King Norm.
Anyway, the British were trying to make the colonists drink all this tea, but they were like, "Dude, no way.
"We're sick of nasty old tea and your crummy English muffins.
" So they decided, "Revolution!" Where did you learn history? A cereal box? What's your point? Okay.
The fireworks should be starting in five, ALL: four, three, two Hello, my duckies.
[GASPS] Mad Mod.
So sorry to interrupt, but your revolution will not be televised.
Matter of fact, it's been outright canceled, as in, it never happened.
Don't look.
MAD MOD: You American colonies have been rebellious long enough.
I'm reclaiming this city in the name of jolly old England, and you lot had best bow down before your new ruler, King Moddy I.
Ha-ha-ha! Ah-ha-ha-ha! [LAUGHS] That would be me.
[PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans! # [PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans! # [PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans go! # [PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans! # [PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans! # [PUFFY AMIYUMI SINGING IN JAPANESE] # Teen Titans go! # # One, two, three, four, go! # Teen Titans! MAD MOD [OVER SPEAKERS]: The American Revolution was a hoax.
The Declaration of Independence is a tissue of lies.
There is no George Washington, and there never was.
And from now on, they're not cookies.
They're called biscuits.
Say it with me.
There now.
We'll have you unruly Yanks acting like proper Brits in time for tea.
[CRASH] [GROANS] Class dismissed, Mod.
Your twisted history lesson is over.
Oh, is it now, my little snot? [YELLS] Aren't you getting a little old for this? On the contrary, laddie.
I'm feeling younger by the tick.
Now, that'll put the peas back in your porridge.
[GASPING] You will change him back.
Sorry, love, but like I've always said, youth is wasted on the young.
Ta-ra, Titans.
Where has he gone with our friend? Maybe the same place he went with our city.
Oh, look, dearie, kippers.
Nine for 12p.
They smell like fish.
I hate fish.
Spitty spot, Nigel.
The vicar's got a stopped-up chimney.
Read all about it! King Moddy teaches Titans a lesson! Hey, we've been union jacked.
[FEET STOMPING] Hit 'em hard, hit 'em fast, and whatever you do, don't look at the [GURGLING] hypno-screens.
[GUNS COCKING] Quick, make him laugh.
Jolly good laugh.
I'm a tommy.
A limey.
A Brit.
CYBORG: Yo, Brit boy.
We could use a hand.
Right, then.
Have at you.
[GRUNTS] Hah! [GASPS] [GRUNTS] [SCREAMS] Hah! [GASPS] [ROARS] [CREAKING] They are quite durable.
British engineering, love.
Finest in the world.
Can you please stop talking like that? You're just jealous because I sound like a rock star.
[PLAYING ROCK RIFF] Stand your ground.
We can take 'em.
[FEET STOMPING] RAVEN: Oh, we can't take all of them.
Run away! [BELL RINGING] Phew.
Jolly good thing those squaddies didn't fancy a swim.
[NORMAL VOICE] Dude, why'd you Ha-ha.
I'm American.
You're welcome.
We need a plan.
We have to stop Mad Mod, save Robin, and take back the city.
I know they're tough, but we gotta tackle these tin toys head-on.
Full frontal assault.
We must find Robin.
Once Robin's youth is restored, he will lead us to victory.
RAVEN: You're both wrong.
Mad Mod's behind all this, so we have to sneak into his control room and take him down first.
No way.
What we need to do is go underground, organize a resistance movement, starting with a trained gerbil army.
Arguing solves nothing.
We need to pick a plan and stick with it.
CYBORG: It may not look it, but this is still America, so I say we vote.
Who's for full frontal assault? Find Robin.
Sneak attack.
Gerbil commandos.
Actually, training gerbils takes forever.
I vote for Starfire.
[GIGGLES] It's your plan.
Lead the way.
[DINGS] Got a lock on Robin's locator.
[BEEPING] Dead ahead.
Robin? Aah! Robin.
Huh? [GASPS] [SCREAMS, GRUNTS] [GROANS] I'm afraid not, pet.
Jolly old Robbie's here with me, sound as a pound.
[GRUNTING] But it looks like you lot have wandered into a trap.
[CACKLING] [GUNS COCKING] I do not believe my plan is going to work.
Fire! Fire! Who votes for a full frontal assault?! Don't just stand there.
Keep blasting.
! U.
! U.
Huh? Ugh.
Ugh! [CACKLING] Quite a show, eh? Quite a show.
Oh, yes.
[GASPING] Jolly old Robbie does love to watch the telly, don't he? Well, in that case, how's about a little preview of coming attractions? MAD MOD [ON VIDEO]: King Moddy's royal army is gonna run roughshod over your gormy little friends.
Pity there's nothing you can do about it, eh? [QUIET GROWLING] [YELLS] Keep fighting.
We're gonna win.
You sure about that? Okay.
So much for my plan.
BEAST BOY: Run away! Off you go.
You lot couldn't beat the Brits in 1776, and you can't beat us now.
[LAUGHING] [BEAST BOY GASPS] The sky looks like a giant British flag.
The whole city's gone haywire.
Dude, tell me about it.
Bangers and mash, bubble and squeak, toad in the hole? Don't British people speak English? Well, that's two plans down.
And two to go.
Okay, first, we're gonna need a cargo plane full of shaving cream.
Then Aagh May I still do the vote for Raven's sneaky attack? All right, listen carefully.
This is what we're gonna do.
Now, we just have to [GASPS] And here we are again.
You know, there's an old British saying, my duckies.
"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
" And you lot are as doomed as doomed can be! [FOLK DANCE MUSIC PLAYING] # Ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh # # Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh # # Ah-ah, ah-ah-ah-ah # # La-la-la-la-la-la # # Da-da-da, la-la # # La-la-la-la-la-la # # La-la-la-la La-la-la-la-la # # La-la-la-la-la-la # # Oh-oh, oh-oh # # La-la-la-la-la # # Oh-oh, oh-oh # # La-la-la-la-la-la # # Oh-oh, oh-oh # # There's something happening # # La-la-la-la-la La-la-la-ah-ah # # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba # # Bah-ah-ah # # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba # # Bah-ah-ah # # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba # # Raining down On the Fourth of July parade # # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba # # Parade # # Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba # # Raining down On the Fourth of July parade # [RASPBERRY] [GASPING] There, there, old man.
At least we still have each other.
We should be able to hide here till Mad Mod's tanks come to tear it down.
That was actually more depressing than what I was gonna say.
Do not despair.
We will rescue Robin and save the city, and stop the Mad Mod.
Well, let's face it.
My gerbil commando plan is just lame.
[BEEPS] [PLAYING REVOLUTIONARY WAR MARCH] It's not any worse than my plan.
Or mine.
Now I know how George Washington felt when Napoleon beat him at Pearl Harbor.
Well, he's right about one thing.
This is hopeless.
We tried everything we could think of.
Nothing worked.
But why not? We're dealing with a scrawny little stick man with a tricked-out cane.
Why can't we bring him down?! Because the Mad Mod was right.
The American Revolution really was a hoax? No.
He said "Those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it.
" We have failed to learn from the history Mad Mod is attempting to rewrite.
Your democracy is not merely about voting.
It is about compromise.
Out of many different people, you make one country.
Out of many flawed ideas, you create one that works.
We don't need four different plans.
We just need one.
[MARCHING MUSIC PLAYING] That's right, me duckies.
You love King Moddy.
You love being Brits.
Silly old America's a thing of the past! [GRUNTING] I bet you'd like this, wouldn't you, old chum? Well, what's stopping you? Go ahead and Whoa! Hey.
Who told you lot to stop? Keep marching.
My British subjects are in the middle of adoring me.
[GASPING] [CHATTERING] [GRUNTS] Man, I bet even real British people don't like you.
A frontal assault? Haven't you sprogs tried that already? Ugh.
Show these yanks who's king around here.
[CLAPS] [MOANING] [GROWLS] Huh! Huh! Fire! Eeeh! [CACKLES] What a surprise, my duckies.
Your little plan didn't work.
Say where's the green one? Run away, has he? The green one is our plan.
Beast Boy, go! [SQUEAKING] Raagh.
Stop! Ah-ha-ah! Ah! Oh, get out! Oh, that tickles.
Oh, stop it.
Ah! [SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] Fire! Heh.
[GASPS] Now, now, old bean.
Let's not do anything hasty.
Hello, governor.
Just like old times, huh? STARFIRE: Robin.
You are unwrinkled.
What took you guys so long? We just needed a little time to brush up on our history.
Uh, Robin Huh? Where did he? [CHUCKLES] Okay.
Really not something I needed to see.
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