Teen Titans Go! (2013) s03e01 Episode Script

Cat's Fancy

"A Cat's Fancy" [OPENING THEME PLAYING.]
[TIMER CHIMING.]
Quick, Titans! If we don't disarm Dr.
Light's Light Bomb, Jump City will be destroyed! - Cool.
Go for it.
- Me? Isn't Cyborg the tech guy? Who said I was the tech guy?! Well, you're made of things and you like cars.
Maybe there's an off switch! RAVEN: I don't think bombs have off switches.
- That is so unsafe.
- We all gonna die! - No, not this day.
- Star! [TIMER CHIMING CONTINUES.]
[EXPLODING.]
[ALL GASP.]
[CRASHING.]
Starfire! Wake up.
Wake up, Star.
[SOBBING.]
Oh, no! Star! [MUMBLING.]
I thought I lost you before I had the chance to tell you all the things in my heart.
- Robin.
- No, no, no.
Shh, shh.
The moment I laid eyes on you, - I knew - Robin? Is that a kitty? [MEOWS.]
Uh, uh, yes it is.
But as I was saying Kitty! Oh, so sweet, so tiny nose, tiny nose.
Starfire, if you could forget about the cat for a second, I'm in the middle of professing my love.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh ho ho, I'm going to call you Nibbles.
Hey, Starfire! [WHISTLES.]
Eyes over here.
Yo, yo, yo.
Oh, Mister Nibbles.
Oh, you are a sweet boy.
Oh, yes you are.
Never mind.
Oh kitty meow, meow, meow Oh meow, meow kitty [MEOWS.]
[LAUGHS.]
- Man, she is really loving on that cat.
- Yeah.
You think she'll ever show me that much affection? Maybe, if you had whiskers and fish breath.
Hmm, become a cat.
That's not a bad idea, Raven, and I already have the fish breath.
[EXHALES.]
[CHOKING.]
Dude! I would have taken your word for it! Bro, cats are the worst.
If you're gonna be an animal, be a dog.
- Dogs are rad.
- I have to be a cat, Beast Boy.
It's the only way Star will love me.
Whoa there, cuckoo bird.
Are you seriously considering this? - Of course.
- But if you're a cat, she'll be a cat lady.
That's just not the relationship you want.
Besides, how are you gonna turn yourself into a cat? Wish on a shooting star? Yes.
A star wish.
Perfect! I wish I wish, I wish I wish I was a cat.
[GASPS.]
Beware what you wish for, Robin.
You just may get it.
[ALARM BEEPING.]
ROBIN: [GASPS.]
I'm a cat.
I'm a cat.
Meow! Meow! Meow, meow, meow! I'm a cat! Huh? What? [ALL LAUGHING.]
I can't believe you thought that wish was gonna turn you into a cat.
But the shooting star.
[CHUCKLES.]
Shooting stars don't turn people into cats! [LAUGHS.]
- That's not science! - Well, your little joke won't stop me.
I'm going to be a cat and Starfire is going to love me and we're going to be together forever.
You're fooling yourself, dude.
No fur.
No whiskers.
No cat.
[MEOWS.]
Ro, you went full cat? [MEOWING.]
Use your words.
What is wrong with you, dude? [MEOWING ANGRILY.]
Robin, Starfire is not gonna like you better as a cat.
[CAT YOWLS.]
Oh! [CAT YOWLS.]
[GLASS SHATTERING.]
Hello, Mr.
Kitty! Oh, you have the cuteness times the power of 10.
[MEOWS.]
Ten? Pfft, please! He's seven times cute, at most.
[MEOWS ANGRILY.]
[HISSING.]
Whoo, feisty.
I shall name you Sassy Pants.
Okay, Star, you know that's Robin.
Right? Of course! But he is a cat now.
I cannot resist his charm.
Oh no, I can't.
Come, sweet kitty.
Let us play.
What just happened?! [MUSIC.]
[MEOWING.]
[YOWLS.]
[MEOWS.]
Ever since Robin became a cat, all he does is sleep.
And he's so cruel, too.
So what if I can't get a date.
That doesn't make me a loser.
I just wish he'd stop pushing me off tables.
Well, I know just the thing to take our minds off him.
Lasagna! [PANTING.]
[BARKS.]
[SLURPING.]
- Sassy Pants! - [LICKING LIPS.]
Hmm.
Mondays.
[STARFIRE GIGGLING.]
Oh, Sassy Pants, you are being so fierce.
[GIGGLES.]
Look at him.
He's turning Star into a cat lady.
And the only thing worse than a cat is a cat lady.
We have to stop this! Well, I know for a fact Star would never choose a cat over us.
Hey Star, no big deal, but your cat's giving me bad allergies.
[HISSES.]
Oh! The allergies! Oh! I am sorry, Raven.
I will have to remove him from the tower.
Great! Just toss him out back near the garbage cans.
Oh, no.
We will just find the new living arrangements.
- We? - Yes! Sassy Pants is the precious to me.
I could never be without him.
[MEOWING CONTENTLY.]
[PURRING.]
I love you, too.
Oh, yes I do.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Good bye forever, friends! -His plan worked? - This is crazy! [MUSIC.]
[PURRING.]
Oh, Sassy Pants! You give me so much of the happiness.
[MEOWS.]
I know you do not like it when I leave the house.
[MEOWS.]
I do not like it either, Sassy Pants, but I was buying my frozen meals for one, when outside of the store, I found a box of precious treasures! - ROBIN: Meow? - More kitty friends! [MEOWING.]
[MEOWS IN FRIGHT.]
[HISSING.]
Oh! You are the sassy one, indeed.
Do not worry Sassy Pants.
You will always be my number one kitty.
[MEOWS.]
Come kitties, let us all play.
Meow, meow, meow.
[CATS MEOWING.]
[KNOCKING AT DOOR.]
[GASPS.]
Visitors? [PANTING.]
I am filled with the anxiety.
[UNLOCKING.]
Oh, it is only the friends.
It has been so long.
Hey, we're worried about you, Star.
Come home with us.
Oh no, no, no! I couldn't possibly do that.
I need my own space to care for all my little babies.
[ALL GASP.]
I had nearly forgotten.
It is your din-din time.
Excuse me friends, but I must prepare their meals.
[MEOWING CONTINUES.]
Sassy Pants, get out here, right now.
[MEOWS.]
Come on.
Come on, kitty witty.
Meow.
Bro, look what you've done.
You took a cool lady alien and turned her into a gross cat lady.
That's just wrong! Meow.
This can't be the relationship you had in mind.
If you care about Starfire at all, you'll take off the cat suit.
Meow.
Ah, he's hopeless.
Come on, let's go.
[DOOR CLOSING.]
Whoa, is that me? What have I done? Starfire loves me, but only as a cat lady.
She's so much more than a cat lady and I am so much more than a cat! I need to set things right and I know exactly how to do it.
[BARKING.]
[CATS YOWLING.]
[GROWLING.]
STARFIRE: Din-din time for the kitty babies! Oh, come get your num num nums.
Kitties? [GASPS.]
My babies have departed! Oh, the sad times are here! I truly have nothing in this world without the love of my sweet, sweet, sweet, sweet kitties.
[ROBIN BARKING.]
Oh! Puppy! Oh! Who is the good boy? Who is the best boy? Oh, come puppy.
Let us breathe the fresh air together.
[GIGGLES.]
Oh, good boy! Oh, good boy, good boy.
At least she's not a cat lady anymore.
I hope you learned something from all this, Robin.
- Huh? - Oh, whatever, go get it.
[ROBIN BARKING.]
When you live with pets, there's never a dull moment.
[TIRES SCREECHING.]
[DOG YELPING.]