Teen Titans Go! (2013) s04e26 Episode Script

Hot Salad Water

1 "Hot Salad Water" [OPENING THEME PLAYING] [MUSIC] [ALL CHOMPING] - Anybody want a beverage? - I have the thirst.
- Me too, yo.
- A beverage sounds good, yeah.
How about some water? [WHIRRING] Nah, no flavor.
[WHIRRING] Orange juice? [WHIRRING] Bro, that's just fruit pretending to be a drink.
Come on.
[WHIRRING] Milk? [MOOING] I dare not drink the lactations of the dairy cow.
[COW MOOS] [THUDS] [WHIRRING] Maybe we got some lemonade dust packets up in here.
Oh, how about some tea? How's am I supposed to drink a little bag with some dirt in it? It's not dirt.
Those are leaves.
Oh.
Uh How's am I supposed to drink a little bag with some leaves in it? You don't drink the bag, dude.
You dunk it in some hot water.
Then all that leafy goodness gets in there and you drink that.
Like the delicious hot water salad.
- I like salad! - Then let's drink this tea, son! [BOILING] [YELLING] [BEEPING] What in the name of America the beautiful are you doing? Oh, just drinking this hot salad water, yo.
- He means tea.
- I know what he means.
What I don't know is who brought it into the Tower! - I don't know.
- It was not the me.
Who? Answer me.
Calm down, dude.
What's the big deal? You were about to drink tea! Tea! The national beverage of Great Britain! [RULE BRITANNIA PLAYING] Do I really need to spell it out for you? ALL: Yes.
[SIGHS] It all started back in 1776 - Is this going to be a math story? - Quiet! It all started back in 1776.
The British Empire once ruled the American colonies.
British soldiers could stay in anyone's house, anytime, and the taxes were super unfair.
But worse than that, everyone was forced to drink tea all the time.
Soda was not allowed.
It was terrible.
[MAN GROANS] Finally, George Washington and the Founding Fathers had enough.
With the help of the mighty bald eagle, [SCREECHES] and the Statue of Liberty, they declared independence, and threw all the tea into the ocean.
Without their tea, the British army didn't stand a chance.
And America could drink all the soda it wanted.
[BURPS] Of course, ever since their humiliating defeat, [LAUGHING MANIACALLY] the English have been working to regain control of the United States.
And that tea is their way in! Robin, it's just a hot water salad.
It's treason! Treason, I say! And I'm going to put it where it belongs! [GRUNTS] [GLASS SHATTERING] [SPLASHES] ALL: Aw Forget the tea! You're Americans.
You need something with a little sugar in it.
[ALL EXCLAIM] [SIGHS] I suppose we will never enjoy the hot leaf water.
Yeah, I guess you're Whoa! Look! - Where did it come from? - It is the sign.
We are meant to drink of the tea! Uh, I don't know, guys.
This is kind of suspicious.
- What if Robin was right? - [LAUGHS] Oh, come on.
When has we ever been warned about doing a thing, and then that thing ended up being bad and getting us in trouble? Come to think of it, I can't think of it.
- Can't think of a single time.
- Yeah, I got nothing.
So, let's drink this tea, yo.
[ALL CHEERING] [BOILING] [SLURPING] Hmm.
[SMACKS LIPS] Yeah, there's really not a lot of flavor in this.
Oh, it may taste like nothings, but it sure makes me feel like a dude of international situations.
True, and the soggy leaf bag is quite the special treat.
[CHOMPING] - Care for some more? - Oh, why not? [SLURPING] [HUMMING] - Good morning, Titans.
- 'Ello, Robin.
Did you forget the "h" in hello? Join us.
We are watching the telly.
Telly? [EXCLAIMS] Who calls the TV a "telly?" Oh, no.
[SNIFFING] Cyborg, what are you making for breakfast?! Bacon, eggs, toast, hash browns.
Good.
Good, good, good.
An all-American way to start the day.
And over here, you got your black pudding, baked beans, mushrooms and a half a tomato.
[GASPS] That's a full English breakfast! [GASPS] - You drank the tea! - Of course we drank the tea.
But I threw it in the ocean.
Like any good American would.
Well, we got some more.
Oh, my worst nightmare is coming true.
You're becoming Anglophiles.
- Hang low style? - Anglophiles! People who love Great Britain.
- What's not to love? - Everything! There's nothing great about Great Britain.
The tea has warped your minds.
We are Americans.
And I am going to make you remember.
For the good of the nation.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING] America, America Awesome America We got tank tops and pickup trucks - # George Washington on the buck # - Come on.
Freedom and apple pie Brings a tear to American eyes We're talking Full House and Ernest Goes to Camp Samuel L.
Jackson on the stamp - # Board walking at the Jersey Shore # - BOTH: Whoo! We've got that Mount Rushmore Campfires and making S'mores The bald eagle we all adore [SCREECHES] America, America Awesome America - # Power tools! # - America! - # Barbecues! # - America! - # Top Gun! # - America! - # Football! # - America! CROWD CHANTING: USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! America! America! [ALL CHEER] USA! USA! USA! All right, my fellow Americans.
Who's ready to shoot off these fireworks? USA! USA! US [GASPS] What is that? It looks like tyranny.
[MUSIC] [SCREAMING] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] Easy! [GASPS] [MUSIC] [SLURPING] Titans what happened to being Americans? - Just having a laugh, mate.
Biscuit? - No! - You're all out of sorts.
- Join us for a spot of tea, love? [EXCLAIMING] [ALL GASPING] I will not! Where are you getting all this tea? She said, "Join us for a spot of tea.
" [MUSIC] [ALL EXCLAIMING] [GASPS] So much tea! - Lovely, isn't it? - The Queen of England.
You've been bringing tea into the Tower this whole time! - Bob's your uncle.
- I don't have an uncle! It simply means, "You're right, young man.
" Americans! Yes! I planted the tea.
Now the Titans are mine.
They will distribute this tea to all of America.
And once every citizen is under my control, the United States will finally return to the British Empire.
Ooh! Still angry about American independence, I see.
- Of course not! - Then tell me why you're doing this.
Because your forefathers threw good tea in the ocean.
Nothing upsets the English more than wasting good tea.
Frightful business! Unforgivable! Really! - You won't get away with this! - Too late, young man.
Titans! Would you kindly dispose of him? ALL: Yes, ma'am.
[IMITATING EAGLE] All right, what are you going on about? I'm calling upon America's oldest ally.
[MUSIC] [IMITATING EAGLE] [EAGLE SCREECHES] [EAGLE SCREECHES] Your little birdie is no match for the biggest clock in the world! [WHIRRING] [MUSIC] [BELL TOLLS] Let's do this.
These truths are self-evident.
Life! Liberty! And the pursuit of happiness! Biscuit barrage! Oh, you don't fancy the biscuits, do you? How about some double-decker destruction? [HONKING] [BOTH EXCLAIM] [ROBIN GRUNTS] I've had quite enough of you Americans.
- Time to finish this! - Not so fast.
[GASPS] Lady Liberty! QUEEN: No! Not soda! You won again, America, but we'll be back.
That's our promise! [THUDS] Thanks for the help, Lady Liberty.
[ALL GROANING] What happened? It's like a terrible dream filled with salt and vinegar.
And mushy peas! We did not know the dangers of the tea.
We will never drink of its terrible leaves again.
Sorry, Titans.
But there's still one tea party we have to attend.
[GRUNTS] - Yeah! USA! - USA! USA! USA! [CHEERING] - Yay! Hurrah! - America the beautiful! Yay, America! [LAUGHS] America! Heck, yeah! [END THEME PLAYING]