Teen Titans Go (2013) s04e31 Episode Script

Lication

1 "Lication" [OPENING THEME PLAYING] [MUSIC] - Do the freezing, Dr.
Light.
- What you think you doing here? Creeping around in the dark like a creep.
I think he's gonna steal Robin's bike! [SHRIEKS] That plan isn't very bright.
[LAUGHS] [CRICKETS CHIRPING] - Get him! - You's about to get wolverined, yo! [ARTHUR SCREAMING] I believe you've met my friend, Mr.
Shablamo? CYBORG: Shablamo! - STARFIRE: Starbolt! - RAVEN: Magic! STARFIRE: Starbolt! Starbolt! Whoa! Whoa! What is going on here? This fool right here was trying to steal your bike.
So, we dropped the hammer on him.
[GROANS] Starbolt, starbolt! [GROANS] [CHUCKLES] Oh, Titans.
He's not stealing my bike, he's renting it.
[BEEPS] There you go, Arthur.
All gassed up and ready to go.
Just have it back by 5:00 or there's a late fee.
[ENGINE REVVING] [CRASHES] Wait, wait, wait.
How's you rented your bike to Dr.
Light? You's not a bike shop.
Is he a bike shop? He doesn't look like a bike shop.
[LENS ZOOMING] [BEEPING] - CYBORG: Definitely not a bike shop.
- It's true.
I'm not.
And yet, I am.
You best explain yourself! This is too much! I'm simply participating in a sharing economy.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] ALL: Oh! Ah, so you're aware of how a sharing economy works? - Of course not.
- Do we's look like nerds to you? A sharing economy or, shareconomy, is a connected community who rent or borrow goods and services from each other.
The shareconomy offers ordinary folks, like you and me, the opportunity to earn money normally reserved for trained and or licensed professionals.
[ELEVATOR BELL DINGS] ALL: Oh! So, you understood that definition? - Of course not.
- Do we looks like nerds to you? In the shareconomy, you make money by renting out your things.
Also, you can save money by renting other people's things, - instead of buying new ones.
- Wait, doesn't this take money away from legitimate businesses? [CHUCKLES] Yes, and puts it in my pockets.
You got all of that good cash from the sharing economy? That's right.
I'm sharing all my things.
The big moneymaker is my bed.
I only use it eight hours a night.
Why not rent it out to a complete stranger for the other 16 hours of the day? - Because that's gross.
- Is this gross? [CRAZY LAUGHING] Yeah, money is filthy.
Aw, then I guess I'm filthy.
Filthy rich! Whoo! [GASPS] I too wish to be covered with the money filth.
Me too! What else can we share for that filthy money? Okay, Titans.
The first step in joining the shareconomy is to answer one simple question.
What do you have that you're not using right now? - Oh, oh, my teeth's brush.
- My left arm.
- My grandma! - Huh? Great, let's turn those worthless items into moneymakers.
All you need to do is enter them into this smartphone application.
- Does this application cost monies? - It's a free application.
The application is free and yet we can use the application to make the monies? It is a free moneymaking application.
Yes! Wow, aren't you guys wondering why someone would give us a moneymaking application for free? I don't care.
It's free! I loves this application! Guys, hold up.
We're saying "application" a lot, and it's a pretty long word.
Hmm, we should shorten it to save time.
But how? I know.
I the know! Lication.
[ALL GASPS] That is amazing! It's three letters shorter! How about app? Yes! That is the syllable that I removed! - Lication.
- Lication.
- Lication.
- Lication.
It sounds so natural.
Well done, Starfire.
Well done.
Thank you.
Now, you simply use the lication to list the good or service - that you want to rent out.
- My left arm.
[BEEPS] Who's gonna want to rent your arm? [BEEPING] CYBORG: Someone.
And that someone's is me, fool.
Oh, yeah! [STRAINS] Oh, yeah.
- Thanks, brah.
- Oh, yes! I'm loving this lication My teeth's brush.
[BEEPING] - Ew! No one is gonna want - I'll take that! [EXCLAIMING] [MUSIC] Technically a kiss? Guys, relying on goods and services from nonprofessionals puts legitimate businesses at risk.
Not to mention the fact that this "shareconomy" will set the human race on a path towards becoming completely reliant on autonomous labor.
"Autonomous labor?" You mean the leader of the Transformers? [POWERING UP] No, regular plain robots.
I bet that's whose behind this free lication.
So, you're saying if we keep sharing stuff using this lication, robots will come take our jobs? They won't just take our jobs, they'll take over.
RAVEN: We are talking about a robot apocalypse here.
[MUSIC] I see your point.
And yet I did receive some very filthy money for my arm rental.
And think of how much you could make if you rented out both arms.
- I'm doing it.
- ALL: Yeah! [BEEPING] [MUSIC] [JINGLING] [BEEPING] [JINGLING] [BEEPING] [JINGLING] [BEEPING] [JINGLING] [SQUEAKING] Okay, there's a pack of wild marmots in our refrigerator.
I rented the fridge to them.
Go some filthy money, yo.
They're throwing all our food on the floor! I rented the floor and food out to them too.
[CHITTERS, GROWLS] Ugh.
[ROARING, CHOMP] You don't think this shareconomy has gone too far? CYBORG: My wallet says no.
Why are you smiling? You have no body parts left! Mmm-hmm.
I'm making money and losing weight.
It's win-win, girl.
Robin, you've rented your bike out so many times the front wheel is falling off.
Which means it's a lot slower, which means it's a lot safer, which means, I can charge double.
Starfire, your toothbrush hasn't come out of Robin's mouth - in three days.
- It is not so bad.
- Okay, then use it.
- Aw.
[EXCLAIMS] [SCREAMS] I cannot! I do not want to do the sharing anymore! - It is the unhygienic.
- Glad to hear it.
Let's go get you a new toothbrush.
The toothbrush store is out of business? I told you this would happen.
And it's not just the toothbrush store.
Everyone in Jump City is going out of business.
The bed store, the motorcycle store, - even the grandma store.
- What has I done? - This shareconomy is a scam.
- We must put an end to it.
If we destroy the lication, we can stop the shareconomy before it's too late.
- Titans, go! - There's no one here.
RAVEN: You mean, no humans here.
If humans are not running the lication business, then who is? [BEEPING] Greetings, humans.
Welcome to our home.
The masterminds behind the shareconomy are robots? Affirmative.
You created the shareconomy in order to cause the actual economy to collapse? Affirmative.
And your ultimate goal is to replace everyone's jobs with robots? Affirmative.
You were right, Raven.
We were blinded by sharing and money! It's not too late to stop them.
And go back to buying new things, - even if we don't really need them.
- Titans, go! Wait, please.
There is no malice in our intentions.
We simply wish to serve mankind.
We will perform all jobs and fulfill all needs in a far more efficient manner than humans could for themselves for free, forever.
So, you just want to take care of us? And make you happy.
Free up some spare time for activities.
You know.
[ALL BLABBING] ROBIN: More free time for push-ups and squats.
They admit it.
They want to destroy the economy.
RAVEN: Get 'em! [BEEPING] [ROARS] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTING] [YELLS] [GROANS] [LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTS] [GRUNTING] [ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] Please, let us make you dinner and we drive you to the park afterward.
Drive this to the park! [GRUNTS] Well, I hope you all learned valuable lessons today.
That's right, we did.
[ELECTRICITY CRACKLING] Never share nothing.
All robots are evil.
And the best way to abbreviate application is lication.
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]