Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e11 Episode Script

The Fight

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS.]
Go! [TITLE MUSIC.]
T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [scratching.]
T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [MUSIC.]
[CRUMBLING.]
[AIR HORNS BLARING.]
Listen up, Titans! I hope you're in the mood to talk real estate! Because today, we are doing a deep dive into the NARRATOR: [YELLING.]
Mortgage! Mortgage! Mortgage! Mortgage refi process! [AIR HORNS BLARING.]
NARRATOR: Home Buy! Refi! [AIR HORNS BLARING.]
The what? [AIR HORN BLARING.]
- The mortgage refi process! - Huh? - The mortgage refi process.
- We ain'ts wanna hear about no more refried mortgages! Okay, okay, I hear that but what if I told you that interest rates are at an all-time low! [HORN BLARING.]
NARRATOR: Low! Low! Low! [GASPS.]
That sounds the terrible! We must do the cheering up of the interesting rats.
Uh, no.
Star, low rates are good.
It's the perfect time to pull out some equity.
TITANS: Boo! Boo? [GASPS.]
Boo? It's like getting free money we can use to invest in rental properties, or if you want a little less excitement in your lives, we can just lower our monthly payments.
You should be salivating! [SNORING.]
[GIANT AIR HORN BLARING.]
Friend Robin.
Why must we focus on the home finances? What else are gonna do for the next 11 minutes? How about super hero stuff? But we fight bad guys all the time! I thinks he might be mixing us up with someone else? Does he think we're the Justice League? We're not the Justice League.
[BUZZER BEEPS.]
We're always springing into action to thwart evil.
Do you really not remember? TITANS: No! Fortunately for you, I've been compiling a series of video clips of the Teen Titans in action.
In case you all had a collective lapse in memory - such as this.
- Whoa.
You've been recording us without our knowledge? All day, every day! Now.
Sit back.
And let the memories of our past heroic battles remind you that we are true heroes in every sense of the word.
[YELLING AND FIRING.]
[SCREECHING.]
[FIRING.]
[YELLING.]
[CHEWS AND SWALLOWS.]
Perfect.
As you can see, we fight bad guys all the time.
Now, with that out of the way, let's get back to the real fight.
The Teen Titans versus the real estate market.
[AIR HORNS BLARING.]
TITANS: No! What's the problem now? You's just showed us a bunch of silly ol' food fighting nonsense.
We're super heroes! We shouldn't be wasting time with food.
Food represents the never ending war against hunger! Mankind's oldest enemy! It's the ultimate fight! ANNOUNCER: Fight! [GRUNTS.]
Man, tell me what other super heroes focus on food this much? Uh, Matter Eater Lad, for one.
Say what? NARRATOR: Matter Eater Lad! ROBIN: The super hero with an iron stomach! He can literally eat anything with no ill effects.
[CRUNCHING.]
[LOUD MEOWING.]
Is he making this fool up? Oh.
I assure you.
He is quite real.
- So he saves the day by eating things? - Not often.
He's usually called away to deal with political problems on his home planet because his power is pretty useless.
And that don't help us, bruh! We want some over-the-top crazy super hero action! [YELLS.]
We wish for the real fights against the real threats.
Real threats you say? You're in luck again! I have another series of clips prepared.
Featuring the Teen Titans winning glory on the battlefield, while avoiding food entirely! [EXPLOSION.]
[MUSIC.]
[FIRING.]
Pencil whack! [GRUNTING.]
Wa-pow, wa-pa-pow! Rainbow Pinch! Shamrock Block! [FIRING.]
[MONKEY SCREECHING.]
[CACKLES AND GRUNTS.]
[MOOS.]
[MOOS.]
[EXCLAIMS.]
Huh.
[CLEARS THROAT.]
That was all a bit silly but I think we can all agree that those were some fairly epic battles.
Leprechauns ain't epic! Fighting squirrels is not epic! Watching the wooden effigies wield the foam rocks in over-sized pencils upon the puppet made from the old sock is not the epic! Come on! The squirrel was a savage! The sock puppet represents the primal struggle against The, uh [SIGHS.]
You're right.
We never fight cool villains in over-the-top crazy action scenes anymore.
What happened to us? I suppose it's our destiny to be lame food-fighting silly super heroes.
It ain't too late, bruh.
Alls we need is one good villain to shows the world we still gots what it takes.
You just might be right.
But in the meantime, let's all take a moment to learn the differences between the APR and interest rates TITANS: Boo! [ALARM SOUNDING.]
Crime alert! - Brother Blood is out on the loose.
- This could be it.
A fight bigger than anything we've seen before! Then we know what we must do.
Titans, go! [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Citizens of Jump City! Today is the day every man, woman and child will know the name of fear.
The name of terror! The name of tyranny! And that name is - Not so fast, Brother Blood! - The Teen Titans? I'm sorry but I don't have any food with me.
We're not here for a food fight.
We are here to bring you to the justice! Uh, I assume you're being ironic? You're being ironic, right? I mean, I didn't think you were into justice these days.
We's not Most of the time.
But we've been aching for a big fight with a big villain who has a big plan to take over the big old world! So it's your lucky day.
Let's do this.
An epic, super serious, super cool hero fight! Ooh, sounds like fun.
[WHIRRING.]
[MUSIC.]
Fire! [FIRING.]
[ROCK MUSIC.]
Titans, go! [FIRING.]
[ROARING.]
[FIRING.]
[YELLING.]
Done? [SCREECHING.]
The power source! Titans! Get me to the top! [GRUNTS.]
I got you, bro! [YELLING.]
[POWERING DOWN.]
[THUD.]
[GROANS.]
[IN PAIN.]
Give it up, Brother Blood! [GROANS.]
It's over! In about five seconds, you'll have a choice.
Capture me or save the people below.
[BEEP.]
[EXPLOSION.]
[CROWD PANICKING.]
Choose wisely, Titans.
[SCREAMING.]
Raven! Get me down there! [ROBIN GRUNTING.]
[SIGHS.]
Yes! [CROWD CHEERING.]
That's what's up! Phew! I won't lie, that felt good! Are you kidding? Did you see how sweet we looked out there? Well done, Titans.
I didn't expect such a good show from you.
But this is only the beginning.
The Teen Titans will be there to stand in your way! I look forward to it.
Until next time! - Ugh.
There's more? - Actually, I am the tired.
Yeah, I need a break, too.
But you said you wanted to fight like real super heroes! Real super heroes never rest! Nah, man.
That was way harder than I thought it would be.
Weren't you saying something about mortgage refinancing? [AIR HORNS BLARING.]
[MUSIC.]
TITANS: Interest rates! Interest rates! Interest rates! If that's what you guys really want.
Now, if you're a conservative, like me NARRATOR: Conservative! [AIR HORNS BLARING.]
You'll be taking a hard look at a sweet 30-year fixed rate loan.
But an adjustable rate has its own advantages.
For instance