Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e12 Episode Script

The Groover

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS] Go! [TITLE MUSIC] T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [scratching] T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [MUSIC] Titans, are you ready to seize the day? - No, thank you.
- Come on! Today is the day we grab life by the horns.
[EXCLAIMING EXCITEDLY] [COW MOOING IN PAIN] Life ain't gots no horns.
[MOOS] Hear me out, I propose, we, the Teen Titans, go to [MIMICS TRUMPETING] The Grand Canyon.
[MIMICS ECHOING] Nature's biggest hole.
We'll hike, camp and enjoy a little WhiteWater.
Whitewater? Whitewater! Why are you always trying to relitigate that old Clinton real estate scheme? Not Whitewater, WhiteWater.
As in rafting on the glorious Colorado river, that will culminate in us conquering [MIMICS DRUMROLL] Lava falls.
Bleh, I'd rather talk about that real estate scheme.
Don't you want to get some fresh air for once? Just open a window, dude.
You know these windows do not open! Oh, that explains the fish smell coming from your room.
Titans, this is an opportunity to challenge ourselves! Are you cray-cray? Whys would we wanna challenge ourselves? Why would anyone climb a mountain? - Because it's there! - That makes no sense at all.
In other words, the Grand Canyon is a metaphor for the void in his soul that he's trying to fill with superficial experiences.
Ding ding ding.
How abouts you just deal with your own problems instead of dragging us down in Lava falls! We have one life to live, Titans! [SOFTLY] One life.
Do you want to waste it on the couch? - Of course! Duh.
- All right.
- The yes.
The yes, yes, please, the yes.
I can see I'm not going to convince you to join me on this trip of a lifetime.
That's why I'm going to force you! [COUNTRY MUSIC] [EXCLAIMING] Welcome, to the [MIMICS TRUMPETING] Grand Canyon! [MIMICS ECHOING] [ALL EXCLAIMING IN AWE] The beauty! [GASPS] Ooh, doggie, that canyon is grand.
The ooh.
The aah.
Ooh, aah, ooh, aah, and the one more ooh.
[CHITTERS] Okay, cool, we saw it.
Can we go back to the couch now? No, we can't go back to the couch now, we're grabbing life by the horns! One life, guys, one life! Now, prepare yourselves, we are going to hike down the narrow canyon trail to the campsite where we will begin our rafting journey to [MIMICS DRUMROLL] Lava falls.
We gotta do all that just because you're unsatisfied with your life? That's right.
Titans, hike! Ah, isn't this amazing? ALL: No! I'm feeling parched.
[COUGHS] [STRAINING] Oh, it's so heavy.
Why is I gotta be the dirty mule? This does not look the safe.
Sometimes you gotta live life on the edge, - to live life to the fullest.
- You go first then.
Gladly! Now watch as I grab life by the [SCREAMING] Uh think he's okay.
ROBIN: One life! We made it to the bottom in record time.
Great job, Titans.
Now, do you understand the satisfaction that comes with challenging yourself? [ALL MOANING] That's great to hear.
Tomorrow, we'll take on the river itself.
A poetic battle, man against nature, waged across time.
Well, that poetry battle can wait.
- I gots to use the little boys room.
- It's right here.
Uh, that's a suitcase, bruh.
It's not a suitcase, it's a Groover.
Hello, friend Groover, it is the so nice to meet you.
It's a Groover and it's not a person.
And you probably don't wanna touch it.
Will you just tell us where the bathroom is? You are looking at it.
All right, man, holds up, and let's get this straight.
You is want me to poop in a suitcase? We willl all be pooping in it.
And it is not a suitcase.
That is exactly what it is.
It's a poop suitcase.
This is the great outdoors.
There are no bathrooms.
So, we have to bring our own.
You said this trip was to challenge us, man! And I'm challenging you to poop in the box.
It's unreasonable for us to do our business in a businessman's suitcase, fool.
I ain't no dookie CEO.
[BLOWS RASPBERRY] You have no choice.
And in related news, tonight I'm making tostadas.
[SOBBING] I hate everything about this.
[BIRD CROWING] [ALL SNORING] Okay, team, it's time for us to go head to head with the watery serpent known as [MIMICS WHOOSHING] the Colorado river.
Let's go! Wait.
Now wait one doggone minute.
- We is bringing the poop suitcase? - We bring it everywhere.
- RAVEN: Seriously? - One life, Titans! One life.
Come on, man, that doesn't even make sense in this context.
We're grabbing life by the horns.
That is not the justification to take the boat ride with Mr.
Groover.
None of the justification! Don't worry about the Groover.
We're just going to paddle down the river and enjoy the view.
Look at these rocks, Titans.
- Why would I look at a rock? - Oh, I don't know, because there are forty layers of rock exposed here.
So much good sediment.
That red orange layer is Hakatai Shale, which indicates the area was once Mudflats.
Ooh, there's Shinumo Quartzite, where you can still find fossils of algae and stromatolites.
And this is just the Unkar group of the Grand Canyon Supergroup, guys.
Just the Unkar! Dude, they're rocks.
We get it.
Hows unfulfilled do you gots to be to pretend to be entertained by rocks? I don't think you understand.
These rocks represent the entire history of the earth.
Wow.
Very interesting.
Are you gonna be talking about rocks the whole trip? That's right, the whole trip.
[ALL GROANING] [COYOTE HOWLING] Ah, what a day.
We were able to see so many good rocks.
Now, time to unwind at camp, before facing the final challenge of [MIMICS DRUMROLL] Lava falls.
[BOYS LAUGHING] - What are you guys doing? - We is businessmens.
And we have some business to take care of.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] We is got a lot of paperwork to file.
[BOTH LAUGHING] [CLEARS THROAT] The market correction this morning could cause our stocks to explode.
[FARTS] [BOTH SNICKER] [FARTS] I do not understand what they are saying.
Be thankful.
There is a lot of pressure [CHUCKLING] from the stock holders.
[BOTH LAUGHING] I suppose we'll have to layoff a portion of the staff.
[FARTS] [BOTH CACKLING] Stop that! You are not businessmen.
These suitcases says we is.
[CYBORG LAUGHS MISCHIEVOUSLY] Ah, look, Titans.
Do you see those two red pillars? Oh, he is talking of the rocks again.
Those two rock formations are the Wigleeva, the legendary protectors of the Havasupai tribe of Native Americans.
Legend says, if those pillars were to fall, the canyon would collapse destroying the tribe.
How amazing! Native Americans have such a rich and noble heritage.
Too bads, we stole all their land.
Guys, this is supposed to be an uplifting and inspiring experience, can we not focus on that? How are we not gonna focus on that? It's an outrage! Oh, look at those river currents, eh? It's like they're dancing on the surface.
You wanna talk about currents when we're staring at one of the greatest injustices in history?! [STUTTERING NERVOUSLY] The shame, the shame! Yup.
And Grand Canyon.
I hope this trip was worth it.
It's been the life-affirming experience I needed.
I looked at rocks.
I got to poop in a box with my friends, and we all tried to ignore some painful history.
[GASPS] There it is, Titans.
[MIMICS DRUMROLL SOFTLY] [STUTTERING] L-Lava falls.
The final leg of our journey.
Wait.
You want us to raft down there? - Is you crazy, fool? - Hmm.
It does look a little dangerous.
Yes, it does.
You know what, we out.
You're really gonna make me do this myself? STARFIRE: No, you still have the friend Groover.
[FARTS] Fine! I'm grabbing life by the horns! [HIGH-PITCHED SHRIEKING] One life! Ah, so fulfilling [GROANS] [CONTINUALLY GASPING] One life [GROANS] [GROANING] - Should we do the helping? - No, no, no, no.
He wanted to be challenged, remember? [SCREAMING] [BUBBLING] One life.
One life.
I admit it, Titans.
That whole trip was a dangerous and disgusting waste of time.
At least, now you know, no adventure can fill that Grand Canyon which resides within your soul.
That's why I'm never going to challenge myself again.
That's the spirit.
CYBORG: Now, you'll have to excuse me, my partner and I have some business to attend to [FARTS] [BOTH SNICKER] Uh, yeah, you know, things at the office are so backed up [FARTS] I had to bring some work home with me.
[BOTH LAUGHING] BOTH: Taking care of business.