Teen Titans Go! (2013) s05e20 Episode Script

Business Ethics Wink Wink

1 [ANIMAL SOUNDS] Go! [TITLE MUSIC] T E E N T I T A N S Teen Titans let's go [SCRATCHING] T-TEEN, T-TEE-TEEN Teen Titans, go! [TIMER BEEPING] [TEETH CHATTERING] [RAPID BEEPING] [ALL EXCLAIM] Titans, it's that time of year again! BOTH: Ranger cookies! We love Ranger cookies! That's right, Titans.
For the next month, we eat with no regard for our cholesterol level.
Mans, I ain't wants no orange box! [SLAP] - We only want the ones in the green box.
- Everyone knows the only Ranger cookies worth eating are the ones in the green box.
I'm sorry you're disappointed with your free cookies! But these were the only ones they had.
If you ain'ts holding back on us, why is you so sweaty? Yeah, I I suffer from profuse sweating.
[CHUCKLES] Runs in my family.
Get him! [ALL GRUNTING] - Just give us the green box! - Never! They're the only good flavor.
[CYBORG YELLING] No! [CLAMORING] [CHOMPING] ROBIN: Oh! Friends, what is the cause of this shameful behavior? They're eating my Ranger cookies.
[GASPS] Friends, cease your mastication.
It is unacceptable to eat the cookies made from the defenseless rangers.
[MACHINE WHIRRING] Chill.
These cookies ain't made from rangers.
They're sold by rangers.
- The rangers do not do the rangering? - Mmm, not really.
The whole organization is a front to sell cookies.
It's not a front.
Selling cookies teaches the rangers valuable skills, so they can be successful in business when they grow up.
Ooh, I have always dreamed of becoming a successful business alien princess.
May I be the ranger and sell of the cookies as well? Sure.
I don't care.
Joy! When next we meet, I will be the ranger! Get back here! [ALL GRUNTING] [ALL CHOMPING] CYBORG: Mmm-mmm-mmm.
[MUFFLED] These cookies go down so easy.
[GASPS] I don't even care what they're doing to my heart.
[CHOMPING NOSILY] Can I at least have one? Sure! You can have one.
Of them other color boxes! They're an abomination of textures and flavors! [RAVEN GRUNTS] I want the ones in the green box.
Too late! [SCREAMS] Greetings, friends! [ALL GASP] Aw! Oh, my goodness gracious.
You are a precious angel.
You're going to have so much fun rangering, Star.
The camping, the arts and crafts Oh, no, no, no and the no.
Remember, there is no rangering in the rangers.
[FANFARE PLAYS] [BUZZER SOUNDS] We exist only to sell of the cookies.
[CASH REGISTER DINGS] [GASPS] Gots any of them good green boxes? I have all of the colors! [GROWLING] [TITANS CLAMORING] [SHOUTS] How much for the green box? [ALL CHOMPING] Good luck selling those garbage flavors, Star.
[ALL LAUGHING] I am the business alien princess.
I can do the this.
Buy the cookies! Buy them! [SCREAMING] Hmm.
Perhaps the subtle approach is in order.
[BABY GURGLING] Psst! [WHISPERING] Excuse me.
The ma'am.
The ma'am.
[GASPS] [COARSELY] The ma'am.
[WHIMPERING] [BABY CRYING] [OPERATICALLY] Cookies! [OLD MAN GRUNTING AND GROANING] Now give the monies.
[OLD MAN SCREAMING] I am the sorry.
And the hopeless.
[WHIMPERING] [CHOMPING FRANTICALLY] - How did it go, Star? - I failed to sell the single box.
I fear I shall never become a successful business alien princess.
If you wants to be a business aliens princess, then you gots to work on them business alien skills, yo.
What are these skills of which you speak? They're written right here on the box.
Decision making, people skills, and business ethics.
Do you truly believe I could learn of these skills of the business? Of course! And we can all help teach you.
Joy! [ANNOUNCER READING] The first skill you need to learn is decision-making.
Quick, make a decision about anything.
- I - Too late, you already failed the lesson.
[SIGHS] You need to act on your decisions quickly and firmly.
Puppies or kittens? Which do you save? I, uh The kitties! They are so adorable! [MEOWING] But But so are the puppies! [WHIMPERING] Oh, I cannot decide! [AIR HORN BLARES] Time's up.
Okay, Star, let's get to work on those people skills.
The thing about peoples is, they is dumb.
All yous gotta do is put them at ease with some good eye contact.
Lighten the mood with a fun conversation.
Or blow their feeble minds with a magic trick.
What? Now, let's try a little role-play.
I'll be the customer, you two sell me cookies.
- What up, my mans? - Good afternoon.
That's some good eye contact right there.
- Puttin' you at ease, ain't I? - I'm gettin' there.
Okay, mama.
Now yous join in.
- Would you like to buy of the cook - What? How dare you? That's too soon! I gots to grease this fool with some magic! - Hey, gummy, pick a card.
- Oh, I see how it is.
Pretending to be my friend so you can sell me cookies.
So what? I'm just trying to wet my beak.
I demand to speak with your supervisor! Well, I ain't giving you his name.
[PUNCHES LANDING] The third and final skill you'll need to learn is business ethics.
What are the ethics of the business, Robin? Basically, it means that there are a lot of rules and laws that cannot be broken.
Eh! And therefore, you should do whatever you can, eh, to succeed in the business world, eh, eh, while staying within the confines of the law.
Eh, eh! [LAUGHTER] For instance, while at a family gathering, your brother-in-law informs you that his company, eh [WHISPERING INDISTINCTLY] is about to make a major technological breakthrough.
Eh! While acting on this tip could make you rich, eh, eh, you refrain from buying the stock, eh, because this information, eh, gives you an unfair advantage, eh, eh, over other potential investors.
[MEN GIBBERING] Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh! Ahhh! What are you doing? You were having the eye problems! No! I was trying to guide you through the shady practices - of the business world.
Eh? - Oh.
Perhaps I am not the cut out to be the successful business alien princess.
Don't give up, Star.
All you need is a little more practice.
[ANNOUNCER READING] [PUPPIES WHIMPERING] [KITTENS MEOWING] [PUPPIES WHIMPER] TITANS: Thumbs! I am a successful business alien princess.
What up, the dude? [BABYLIKE COOING] Why, it appears you have something behind the ear.
[BABYLIKE GIGGLING] By chance, would you care for the box of the cookies? Heh, heh! [BABYLIKE SQUEALING] [CASH REGISTER DINGS] Friends! I have made the sale! [ALL CHEERING] BEAST BOY: Yeah, that's what's up! Great job.
Star.
We knew you could do it.
Now that I have achieved my goal of selling the one box, perhaps I can sell the many more! STARFIRE: Listen to the me! Listen! Shut the mouth hole and open the ear hole now! I do not care if the government has opened the investigation into my perfectly ethical business practices! Heh, heh! You get out there and you sell those cookies or I will end you! - Hey, Star.
Got a minute? - Of course.
You have exactly one minute! We miss the old Starfire.
Yeah, that sweet little ranger who wasn't being investigated by the governments all the time.
Also, you jacked up the prices of the cookies in the green box.
- We can't afford them anymore.
- The yes! That was the secret to building the empire.
Cornering the market on the green box and then doubling the price! [LAUGHS EVILLY] But now that I have heard your desperate plea, it has made me realize that I can triple the price of the green boxes! [SINISTER LAUGHTER] [ALL GASP] Girl, you done lost your mind! You have to decide, Star.
Us or your cookie empire.
Fortunately, I am quite good at making the decisions now.
[SCREAMS] So decisive.
[ELEVATOR DINGS] [BOTH YELL] Gah, eye contact! Too powerful! [WHIMPERING] We's being put at ease! - Is this your card? - Ooh, magic.
- [GRUNTS] It's over.
- If you release me, I will share the perfectly legal, heh, heh, insider stock tip.
What kinda returns are we talking about? Eh, eh? Heh, heh! [ROBIN SCREAMS] No one can stop the successful business alien princess.
[GROANS] I didn't wanna do this, but that's the way the cookies crumble! [GRUNTS] [BEEPING] No! Friends, you saved me from the greed and the corruption I learned from the innocent youth organization.
We're glad you escaped the clutches of the business world, Star.
It's a shame we had to destroy all of those delicious cookies.
Yo, what's up with your butt, Robin? Oh, I, uh, put on some extra weight eating all of those cookies.
Holds up, are those What [CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Uh - RAVEN: Get him! - ROBIN: Ow, ow! Ahhh! [GUNS FIRING] Whoa! Ow, ow! Ouch! Stop! Ow, too hard! Ow! [ROBIN SCREAMING] [CHAINSAW BUZZING] Whoa! Ow! Oh!