Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s01e05 Episode Script

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break ! Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power newscaster: the city is still reeling from the bizarre events of the past few days.
at each event, 4 mysterious creatures were sighted who, according to witnesses, looked like turtles.
green, smelly turtles.
turtles, and my men have orders to blow them out of the sky.
who are these mystery turtles ? could they be aliens from another planet ? happy hour news will bring you 'round-the-clock bulletins on the green menace.
what a bunch of airheads, man.
that should've been my story.
you're gonna get your story, April now.
master Splinter, we can wait no longer.
we must put the Shredder away.
i agree, Leonardo.
the time has come for the final battle with my old enemy.
and April's gonna have to tell the world about us just to keep those lame-brained humans from trying to stop us.
i'll get a news crew together, even if i have to tie 'em up and brand 'em.
here.
take this.
it's a turtle communicator, so you can find us when you've got your crew.
we all carry them now.
oh, April, take the turtle van.
we'll use that vehicle the neutrinos left behind.
i'm on it.
greetings, turtles.
the Shredder ! since when did he get his own daytime talk show ? observe what i have in my hands-- it is a retro mutagen ray generator, a device which undoes mutations.
this is the only thing that can restore Splinter to the form of Hamato Yoshi.
if you want it, come get it.
you bet we will ! i alone must get that retro mutagen device away from the Shredder.
the ray could restore me to my human form.
but what if the Shredder used it on you ? we'd be changed back into ordinary turtles.
bebop ! rock steady ! grrr.
the turtles are heading this way.
find them and destroy them.
cowabunga ! ow ! now we're cooking with gas ! yeah-ha-ha ! oh, what now ? who bought this piece of junk ? well, that was a short trip.
looks like we're out of fuel.
what sort of juice does this crate take ? uh, plutonium, i think.
oh, terrific.
maybe we can get it towed to the nearest plutonium station.
so let's just hotfoot it over to the Technodrome.
are you kiddin' ? we need the weapons on this thing.
i saw something at baxter's workshop.
it'd need a little work, but i bet it would do the job.
i'll meet you at the Technodrome.
there goes a good turtle.
well, well, well.
lookie what we found.
we got a score to settle with you little twerps.
aww, did i hurt youse ? this'll make it better.
we don't like rats in our fair city.
maybe i should just ring your stinkin' neck.
hyah ! not so fast, homeboy.
drink blazin' electric death, turtles.
oh, the boy likes his work.
i think they're starting to tire.
oh, great.
in a few more hours, they'll barely be able to throw a car at us.
so, like, why don't we throw some trucks at them ? one fricasseed turtle comin' up.
ha ha ! you jerks just got trashed.
hey ! whoa ! blecch ! those shellheads are dead ! sorry, boys.
we gotta build a parking lot where you're playin'.
you little creeps ! come back and fight ! aha ! there we go.
Shredder, why haven't you completed my new body ? ah, but i have.
excellent.
i want you to add to it this molecular amplification unit.
but why ? Saki, you fool, don't waste time.
your forces are depleted.
the turtles are on their way.
install the chip now.
all right.
i'll do it.
you may feel some disorientation when you revive in your new body.
it's alive.
it's alive ! up we go.
turtle alert.
turtle alert.
no, it's too soon.
Krang hasn't come to his senses.
foot soldiers, stop the turtles ! oh, just what we needed.
kill-crazed foot soldier bikers.
i'll try to get the retro mutagen ray away from the Shredder.
let's break some foots.
go, green machine ! hey, guys.
how's it going ? we're a little busy right now, Donatello.
ok, i'll call back later.
do that.
uhh ! out of my face, jerk ! hey, maybe some raw sewage would do the trick.
Leonardo, blade time.
hyah ! cowabunga ! i'd say the foots slipped up.
so what do you say ? tonight, a little dinner, a little dancing i'll call you back.
what are you doing here, April ? i'm trying to get a story for you ! trying ? are running loose in this town, and you haven't brought me diddly-squat ! they're on our side.
listen, i've been with them for the past week.
you're in cahoots with those things ? that does it, April.
you're fired ! here.
look at this.
what's that, one of their weapons ? it's, uh it's a hyper-turtle death ray.
now, order me a news crew, or i'll turn this whole place into a flaming rubble ! of course, April.
anything you say.
whew ! the things i have to do to get a story.
just me, mr.
baxter.
i'm here to clean up.
uh, you couldn't come back a little later, could you ? oh, i won't get in your way, dear.
my, what a mess ! lady, will you please leave ? now, i won't be any bother to you.
let me put it this way-- scram ! mr.
baxter, you've been working too hard.
you look kinda green.
what ? i'm in my new body.
let's see if the molecular reconstruction circuit works.
success ! i must contact my loyal soldiers in dimension x.
master Splinter's out there alone, man.
maybe we can keep an eye on him.
look ! how do you work this oversized ghetto blaster ? hey, it's that room with the gateway to dimension x.
who's that weirdo ? i don't know, but the guy in his stomach looks like Krang.
he's going to bring his soldiers over from dimension x.
that's what he thinks.
come on ! vern just called rescinding this order of yours.
he doesn't know what the turtles are about.
they're trying to save us from an alien invasion.
if you only had some proof.
here, look.
that's good enough for me.
stop them ! let's go ! gun it, April.
oh, nuts ! so you've come at last, Hamato Yoshi.
here i am.
but am i here or here ? ha ha ha ha ha ! i could be anywhere-- even right behind you.
a lucky shot, old man.
but if you want the retro mutagen ray, you must first face my blades.
and i will beat you, as i did when i was human.
this is lord Krang calling general traag in dimension x.
are you there ? i am here, my lord.
stand ready, lord, with more to come.
excellent.
stand by while i'll open the portal.
then lead my men into this world to conquer it.
not so fast, baldy.
you're gonna have to conquer us first.
that should be fairly easy.
the molecular amplification circuit works.
this guy's gettin' too big for his britches.
now, wretched reptiles, you will face the wrath of Krang ! wasn't that the name of a movie ? i don't believe i saw it.
and i don't believe i'm seeing this.
holy guacamole ! nothing can stop the almighty Krang.
now, let's just hope it works.
and away we go ! where's godzilla when you really need him ? you pathetic old rat ! why don't you stand your ground and fight ? you have forgotten the lessons i taught you, Saki.
you can never win.
gentle always turns away strong.
you wretched rodent ! well, guys, it's been great knowing you.
huh ? what the heck ? come on, guys ! welcome aboard the turtle blimp.
does this thing actually work ? just watch.
cowabunga ! this still ain't gonna stop that king-sized creep.
we've gotta shrink him down.
oh, i know ! let's wash him in hot water.
something in that body's expanding his molecules.
we've gotta put it out of commission.
take the controls.
wh-wh-what controls ?! what the heck's that ? his brain's in his stomach.
wait till vern gets an eyeful of this.
wait till the world gets an eyeful of this.
Raphael, can't you drive this thing ? no ! i can't either ! yeah, i guessed that.
we'll just have to improvise.
i'm getting some heavy, heavy energy readings from over there.
hey, ha ha ! i'm starting to get the hang of this.
now let's eradicate that creep, man.
oops, we must be in the shoulder joint.
let's just hope Krang doesn't make any sudden moves.
aah ! aah ! there it is.
let's cut it out of there.
you have corrupted my teaching.
you have brought dishonor upon the noble foot clan.
now you will pay for your crimes.
now, turtles, you're finished.
this is taking too long.
we've got to shrink this guy down now.
no-o-o-o-o ! we gotta get out of here ! we'll be crushed.
excuse us.
i am Krang the all-powerful.
i have never been defeated.
well, you never tangled with a turtle before, pal.
all: let's kick some shell ! Shredder, come quickly.
i need you.
so sorry to bring our game to an early conclusion.
you wouldn't have won anyway.
the retro mutagen ray-- he's going to use it on the turtles.
uh-oh.
it's that retro muto thingamabob.
he's gonna use it to turn us back into ordinary turtles.
well, gang, looks like it's back to the old pet shop for us.
far from it.
tonight, i dine on turtle soup.
no ! master Splinter.
climb on my back.
mastery, that device was your only hope of being human again.
i had to destroy it to save you.
what happened to Krang and the shredhead ? how much you wanna bet they're gonna try to open that dimensional portal ? come on.
listen, if you can get the Shredder away from that portal, i think i can shut his operation down for keeps.
general traag, it is time.
we are coming, my lord Krang.
not so fast, chrome breath.
stop those turtles.
snap it up, Donatello.
that's it.
let's beat it.
the portal mechanism has been reversed.
what's going on ? how did you do that, Donatello ? i reversed the flow of the portal.
it pulled itself into dimension x.
rock, dudes ! we did it ! we won ! yes, but master Splinter may never be human now.
ah, well, perhaps it is my karma to live my life as a rat.
the important thing is that you are safe and we are together.
i second that emotion.
what the devil happened ? where the devil are we ? dimension x ? no ! at last, i can conquer my home dimension.
but i don't want to conquer this place.
i want to conquer earth.
in dimension x, i am absolute master.
you will do my bidding from now on.
the Shredder takes orders from no one ! we shall see, Oroku Saki.
the turtles turned out to be the saviors of the city as they fought off an alien invasion.
opinion about them remains sharply divided, however.
turtles are smelly and disgusting.
i say hang all four of them.
they're, like, totally rad, man.
yeah, i want to be a turtle when i grow up.
but who are they ? where did they come from ? it's a complete mystery, but i'll continue to update the exploits of these teenage mutant ninja turtles.
April O'Neil, happy hour news.
all right ! now we can relax, catch some boob tube, and forget about all that weirdness we just went through.
for now.
but i fear we have not seen the last of the Shredder or Krang.
you're worrying too much, master.
yeah, i bet we'll never even hear so much as a peep out of them again.
tv: stay tuned for tonight's sci-fi chiller thriller killer movie-- it's a real classic-- the evil brain from dimension x.
aw, take a hike, man.
see if we got some cartoons.