Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e35 Episode Script

9059-031 - The Making of Metalhead

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break! Michelangelo is a party dude Party! teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power lions gate entertainment [ALL GROANING.]
Ah-choo.
[COUGHING.]
You're sure this turtlepox the boys have isn't catching, splinter? Quite sure, April.
It is a very rare disease that affects only mutant turtles.
Oh, I feel like the technodrome just rolled over me.
[GROANS.]
Here, have some chicken soup.
It'll make you feel better.
Ah-choo! Oh, at least it would have.
[BUBBLING.]
Here, Michelangelo.
Try this.
Oh, April, what I really wanted was a tea and toast pizza.
It's so nice of you to look after us while we're sick, April.
By the way, this soup is cold.
Could you warm it up again? April, can I have a glass of water? Could you get me another blanket? Tell me a story.
Ahh, for a bunch of heroes on the half shell, they can be real babies! There it is, shredder.
The invention that'll put an end to those accursed turtles at last Metalhead! What is it? It's a robot, which I intend to program with the turtles' own ninja fighting skills.
That, combined with its built-in weaponry, will make it unstoppable.
Watch.
In order to program the robot, I will need complete brain wave scans of all the turtles.
You must go to the surface with this portable brainalyzer, and get them for me.
Just once I'd like you to surface where you're supposed to.
You--you said you wanted a soft landing.
Soft.
Not overripe.
Now pay attention.
I need you cretins to lure the turtles out of hiding so I can use this brainalyzer on them.
Uh, maybe we oughta test it out first, boss.
Yeah.
If we only had a brain.
I've been saying that about you two for years.
Uh, I don't get it, boss.
[SNORTS.]
Why are we breaking into this joint? The turtles will think you're stealing equipment for the technodrome, and show up to stop you.
And when they do, I'll be ready for them.
Now get in there and do your worst.
Ooh, the worst is what we do best.
You, there.
Stop! Hit the road, Jack.
Before the road hits you.
Hyah! Oh, they don't pay me enough to take this abuse.
[ALARM RINGING.]
Everything's working perfectly, krang.
Channel 6 will provide live coverage of this break-in momentarily, and that will bring the turtles.
Excellent! For once things are going as planned.
[SNORING.]
April, how is it that you're not watching the news on television? I was afraid it might wake up the guys.
Trust me.
In their condition, nothing will awaken them.
[ALARM RINGING.]
Why isn't April here to cover this? She's so much better in these emergency situations.
Not that I'd ever tell her, of course.
What's keeping those blasted turtles? They should have been here by now.
[SIREN WAILING.]
Ha ha, is this fun or what? [DEVICE RINGS.]
Uh, what's up, boss? [SNORTS.]
Are the turtles here? No, but the police are.
You better get out of there.
We'll have to find another way to lure the turtles out of hiding.
Gee, maybe the turtles don't think we're important enough to beat up anymore.
That wounds me deeply.
Hmm.
We're out of chicken soup.
I guess I better go buy some more.
Go rob that bank.
That will grab the turtles' attention.
[GASPS.]
A bank! We're moving up in the world.
Yeah, the most we ever used to rob was minimarts.
Oh, great.
Just when you thought it was safe to come out of the sewers.
[ALL SNORING.]
Wake up, guys! Rock steady and bebop are robbing the metrocorp bank.
Oh, I must be having a fever dream.
It sounded like you said bebop and rocksteady were robbing a bank.
That's exactly what I did say.
Boy, talk about lousy timing.
Ah-choo.
[SNIFFS.]
Yeah, I'm totally bummed.
Sick or not-- [COUGHS.]
We're the only ones who can stop them.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING.]
Hey, this is fun.
Let's do some more crimes.
Ooh, ooh! Better yet, let's order pizza and not pay for it.
Hee hee hee! You'd better hope they deliver in the slammer, hamhead.
This is it.
The perfect opportunity.
Oh, boy, do I have a headache all of a sudden.
Yeah.
Feels like a heavy metal concert going on in my head.
It's probably just the effects of the turtlepox.
Rocksteady, bebop.
Get back to the transport module.
I have what I came for.
Aw, just when things was getting interesting.
They're getting away! We'd better do the same.
I don't get it.
It's not like rocksteady and bebop to back away from a fight! Well, maybe they're sick, too.
Ah-choo! Oh, come on back to the hideout, guys.
I'll fix some more chicken soup.
Wait, I-if-- if I eat anymore chicken soup, I'll be the only turtle on earth with feathers.
It works.
I programmed a robot with the turtles' ninja skills.
I'll believe that when I see it.
Gladly.
Rocksteady, bebop.
Attack the robot.
Ready or not, here we come.
We'll send that tin turtle to the scrap heap.
Whoa! Whoa! Hmm, I'm impressed.
It's everything I hoped it would be.
Against this fighting machine, the turtles don't stand a chance.
Ah ha ha ha! Oh, man, I am one tuckered-out turtle.
Ah-choo! Be patient.
The fever should subside by tomorrow.
Uhh, I still can't figure out what shredder and his goons were up to.
Oh, hey, what's the diff? As long as we chased them back underground.
I hope they have indeed given up as easily as you say, Michelangelo.
All right, robot.
Time to fulfill your primary function.
Seek and destroy the turtles.
Does it know how to pilot a transport module? It has no need of one.
It can drill its way to the surface by itself.
And best of all, its remote camera will let us watch the destruction of the turtles from the comfort of the technodrome.
Sounds good, if it doesn't blow a fuse.
It better not, or I'll blow my fuse.
Oh! Well, the turtles are all tucked in again for a long nap, I hope.
Perhaps things will be quiet for a time.
[EARTH RUMBLING.]
You want to bet? What manner of creation is this? Whatever it is, it doesn't look too friendly.
Hyah! Uhh! Uhh! Aah! Unh! It merely shrugged off my most powerful kick.
What do we do now? A wise man knows when he is outclassed, April.
I suggest we fall back to a more strategic position.
In other words, we run like heck! Precisely.
I can't move! That machine seems to have tied us up.
So much for the strategic retreat.
You have any other ideas? Oh, what's all the noise? Whoa! What is it? He looks like a giant turtle.
Be careful, my students.
You are pitted against a superior fighting machine.
That doesn't scare us.
I am metalhead.
I crush turtles.
Now, that scares us.
ALL: Turtles fight with honor! [ALL YELLING.]
Ooh! Aah! Yeah! But this dude fights with everything! He seems to know just what we're thinking.
And before we do.
Eh! No fair, dude! Huh?! Uhh! Uhh! Uhh! Master splinter is right.
This thing is one jump ahead of us.
Ha ha! I told you my robot could defeat them.
Good, now have it finish them off before they have a chance to escape.
Not so fast.
I want them brought back to the technodrome.
So you can personally dispose of them? Exactly.
First, I intend to slice and dice, then parboil and fricassee them with just a touch of cilantro.
Oh, you paint such a pretty picture.
Oh, we coulda whipped this metalhead if we all weren't so sick.
He's gotta be one of krang's inventions.
He must've found a way to program him with our ninja skills.
That doesn't give us much of a chance, does it? Well, just one.
If I can match his frequency phase amplitude, I might be able to demodulate his cybernetic synapses.
Most excellent, dude.
I was thinking the same thing myself.
Yeah.
Wanna run that by us one more time, Donatello? Well, all I said was, maybe I could use the turtlecom to short circuit his memory banks.
So, like, what are you waiting for, bud? [SHRILL TONE RINGING.]
These high frequency oscillations oughta do it.
It's working! Keep it up! Uh-oh! He's gone wackazoid! That'll teach him to pick on 4 sick turtles.
Ah-choo! Come on.
Let's get him back to the lair.
Maybe I can reprogram him.
Ok, just don't use the stereo for spare parts.
Well, rocksteady, you actually got us here without any foul-ups.
[GASPS.]
Did you hear that? The boss actually showered me with compliments.
[GRUNTING.]
Hey, you ain't the only one who's getting a shower.
This is where krang said the robot would meet us.
Where is that wretched invention? Aw, look, boss.
That oil slick must be all that's left of him.
Blast! I warned krang something like this might happen.
The good part is we can follow this trail of oil and find the turtles.
[ENGINE STARTS.]
Ah-choo! Here, fellas.
I brought you some more chicken soup.
More chicken soup? Ready, guys? Yecch! Eww! Ecch! Look at the bright side.
At least that robot won't be bothering us anymore.
[WHIRRING.]
Oh, bummer.
Not again.
Not to worry, gang.
I've deprogrammed him, then reprogrammed him.
Metalhead, meet the turtles.
[IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Hey, hermano, how's it going, dude? Huh? How come this robot reptile sounds exactly like yours truly? [IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Nice place, guys.
Who's your decorator, the phantom of the opera? Wrong, Michelangelo.
H-he sounds exactly like me.
[IMITATING LEONARDO.]
No, I don't.
I sound like him, [IMITATING DONATELLO.]
Except when I sound like him-- [IMITATING LEONARDO.]
Or him-- I mean, him.
No, you don't! [IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Who am I now? [IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Uh-oh! Personality overload! [IMITATING DONATELLO.]
Dive! Dive! A-ooga! A-ooga! Heh heh.
Uh, there are still a few bugs to work out.
Since metalhead was programmed with all our personalities, he gets a little confused sometimes.
Great.
A schizophrenic robot.
Oh, he's worse than schizophrenic.
He's quadrophrenic! [IMITATING LEONARDO.]
Warning! Warning! Sensors indicate shredder, bebop, and rocksteady approaching! [IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Hey, man.
They're mondo close, too.
Oh, no.
Shredder's gonna find our hideout.
There goes the neighborhood.
My instincts tell me that we're very close to the turtles' lair.
This time we're going to make some turtle hash.
Wait.
I sense something.
[ENGINES APPROACHING.]
The turtles! Aah! Catch us if you can, shred man.
Quickly! After them! Right, boss.
Ecch.
Idiots! Oh, this'll be like shooting ducks in a barrel.
Or better yet, turtles in a sewer.
Ha ha ha ha ha! Uh-oh.
Krang! Come in, krang! This better be important! You're interrupting my exercise program.
Good news.
We're in pursuit of the turtles with the help of your robot.
What in blazes? Hey, I thought this thing was on our side.
Your robot is shooting at us.
Nobody's perfect.
Gotta hand it to you, Leonardo, having metalhead pretend to chase us was brilliant.
Ok, we're far enough from our lair now.
Let's go topside.
[ALL GROANING AND COUGHING.]
Uhh, this wouldn't be any fun, even if I were well.
Uh-oh.
Here come the party animals.
Where are those turtles? I'll pulverize them! Yeow! [CYCLING TURTLE VOICES.]
'Scuse me! Move it or lose it! No time to chat! Good-bye.
Got to catch those turtles.
Catch this, steel shell.
No! Stop, you fool! Aah! [IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Whoa.
I feel so funky.
[IMITATING LEONARDO.]
I got to blast those turtles.
[IMITATING DONATELLO.]
Wait.
I have to blast shredder.
Or is it the turtles? I'm so confused.
[IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Maybe I'll just blast everybody! Aah! Aah! Bebop, you idiot! You've caused the robot to go completely haywire.
Yeah.
Pretty smooth, pork lips.
Hey! Bogus move! He's not supposed to be shooting at us! Going up.
We've got to shut metalhead down before he turns us into turtle toast! Primo notion, fearless leader, but how are we gonna that? I've got an idea.
Look! APRIL: The channel 6 building? I might be able to rig up some of the broadcasting equipment to deactivate metalhead.
Good.
Take April with you.
Oops! It's getting too hot here! We'll deal with metalhead.
Oh, shredder and his goons are below us.
We'll take the aerial route.
Follow me.
Me on that thing? You must be kidding.
April! Wait! Going down, amigo.
[IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Aha! Trying to escape.
Aah! Donatello! Are you all right? Uhh, if I were a cat, I'd have just lost about 8 lives.
How'd you get down from there? I took the stairs.
Come on! Now, let's take the ground route.
Oh, right.
Air travel does not agree with me.
The turtles are up there! Go get them! But, boss, w-what about that whacked-out robot? Uh, yeah.
You want him to get mad at us? Believe me.
Better him mad at you than me! Since you put it that way.
Hurry.
Maybe we can sneak you up to the transmitter before anyone sees you.
[ELEVATOR DINGS.]
Uh-oh! It's burne and Vernon.
Quick! Hide behind this thing.
April.
What are you doing here? I thought it was your day off.
[LAUGHS WEAKLY.]
You know me, chief.
I can't stay away from this place.
Ah-choo! Who sneezed? UhOh, sorry.
I-I must be catching a cold.
Oh, I haven't seen those troublesome turtle friends of yours lately.
Oh, you know them.
They could be anywhere in the world.
Bad news, amigos.
We're trapped likeLike Rats? I was going to say turtles! [IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Sayonara, turtles.
[IMITATING LEONARDO.]
Wait.
I can't do this.
The turtles are my friends.
[IMITATING KRANG.]
Or is shredder my friend? [IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Oh, bummer.
Like, I'm totally confused.
Oh, yeah? [SNORTS.]
Well, we ain't confused.
Say bye-bye, you green geeks! Well, do you have it working? We'll know in a second.
Here goes.
[IMITATING DONATELLO.]
Wait.
It's all so clear to me now.
The turtles are my friends.
[IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
And you bozos aren't! Huh? Aah! Time to beat a discreet retreat.
Oof! [IMITATING MICHELANGELO.]
Yo, dudes.
Time to get our shells in gear.
LEONARDO: Good job, Donatello.
Metalhead's working fine again.
[IMITATING RAPHAEL.]
Daddy! Uhh! We'd better get him back in the sewers before something else goes wrong.
Oh, man.
Am I glad that's over.
Yeah, now we can get back into being seriously sick.
Ah-choo! Yeah, it's kind of fun with April waiting on us hand and foot.
Sorry, fellas.
No more nursing.
I've gotta get back to channel 6.
What? But who's going to look after us till we're better? It's already been taken care of.
Oh, nurse metalhead! [IMITATING APRIL.]
All right, everyone in bed.
And I mean now! I've created a frankenstein.
What is taking so long? Well, it's about time.
What is that? BEBOP: Um, we had a little accident, krang.
Uh, yeah.
You got a chisel handy? lions gate entertainment
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