Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s03e37 Episode Script

9059-024 - The Turtle Terminator

Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power they're the world's most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell and they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil shredder attacks these turtle boys don't cut him no slack teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads, Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude party! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell turtle power [Rreow!.]
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh.
Watch this, shredder.
You muddle-headed mutants.
Quit wasting time.
Start operation turtle Terminator.
Right, boss.
We're on our way.
LA da da-da LA da da-da da da da da-da da I have a date so I can't be late don't want to make him w-wai-- Ah-choo! Ow! Shh.
Don't make no noise.
Do like I do.
[Rreow!.]
Yieee! Do like that? Ok If I have to.
Oh! Ooh, you poor man Or mutant.
Mutant? Aah! [BONES CRACKING.]
Ow! Another mutant! Look what you've done.
[SNORTS.]
What we're doing, lady, is kidnapping you.
And don't give us no trouble.
Kidnapping me? Oh, no.
No, please don't! I love it when they beg.
You--you can't kidnap me today.
I have got a lunch date with channel 6's incredibly handsome anchorman.
Hey--hey, you can come back tomorrow and kidnap me.
Ooh! How come we always get the tough assignments? Ready, turtles? Yeah.
I'll hit him high.
I'll hit him low.
And I'll take what's left.
Ha ha.
Hyah! Hyah! Cowabunga! Hyah! ALL: Uhh! A fine bunch of ninjas we are-- we fell for the oldest trick in the book.
The lesson to be learned is, things are not always as they appear.
Learn to trust your instincts, not your eyes.
[BEEPING.]
It's the turtlecom.
Leonardo here.
What's wrong, April? I'm at Irma's apartment.
The place is a complete mess.
So what else is new? Irma's place is always a mess.
Irma is missing, and I'm sure rocksteady and bebop took her.
Wait right there, April.
We're on our way.
Let's go, turtles.
[FOGHORN BLOWING.]
Where are you bozos taking me? Hey, lady, you ask too many questions.
Well, how do you expect me to learn anything? Well, you just better get me back in time for my date or--or I'll-- or you'll what? [GASPS.]
Mr.
shredder? That's right, Irma.
Welcome to our humble low-rent hideout.
Look, look.
I'd love to get the complete tour, butI have a date.
Ha ha ha.
You certainly do With this robot.
It's programmed to do just one thing-- find and destroy the turtles.
But what's all this got to do with me? You'll soon see.
Turtle Terminator, self-activate.
F-f-forget it, fellas.
I'm not into heavy metal.
H-h-hey! Hey, cut it out.
It tickles.
SHREDDER: Oh, it's working perfectly.
Hey You look familiar.
[ROBOT VOICE.]
You look familiar.
Oh! It's me! Oh, at last, the plan that will finally destroy the turtles.
Wow, it was rocksteady and bebop that crashed this bash, for sure.
But where did they take Irma? That might be a clue.
It looks like someone tracked it in.
If we knew what it is and where it came from, we'd know where they took Irma.
Then let's get started.
April, you better get back to channel 6 in case she turns up there.
Ok, guys, but be careful.
What is your mission, android Irma? Locate turtles.
Zap turtles.
Exactly.
At the first sign of the turtles, blast them! Blast turtles at first sign.
Ho ho! Splendid.
Now get to it.
Hey, get your balloons right here! Take some home to the kiddies.
Turtles Zap turtles.
Hem-hem.
Must be a balloon hater.
According to my analysis, that slimy green plant from Irma's apartment is a hunk of seaweed.
Seaweed? That means the mutants must be operating out of the waterfront district.
Hey, give the lady a cigar.
We're headed for the waterfront now.
Don't worry, April.
We'll find Irma.
I hope so.
Irma! Irma, where have you been? Thank goodness you're all right.
Oh, still no sign of Irma Or seaweed, either.
I'll check in with April.
Donatello to April.
Donatello to April.
What's up, fellas? April, where are you? I'm here at channel 6 with Irma.
Irma? She's there? Is she ok? Ok? She's fantastic.
[TYPING RAPIDLY.]
[TELEPHONE RINGS.]
Channel 6.
Please hold.
Channel 6.
Please hold.
Irma, would you please find the Wilson file you lost 3 days ago? I really need-- here.
Now get off my back.
Irma, you amaze me.
What are you doing, Irma, bucking for a big raise? No, I'm on a mission, numskull.
And she insists rocksteady and bebop were never in her apartment.
Yeah, sure.
And I've never been in the sewers.
Then who or what made those big holes in Irma's wall? Well, maybe like some truly humongous mice.
Wait! That's a transport-module tunnel.
That means shredder is definitely in the area.
You know what this means, don't you? Yeah.
It's time for us turtles to catch some humongous mice.
Hi there, Irma baby.
Oh, hello.
Well, this is it, lucky lady-- your big lunch date with me.
Ha ha.
Get lost.
You must have forgotten.
I'm granting you one full hour with yours truly.
I have a mission.
I cannot leave.
Now wait just a minute.
No one throws me over.
No, no! Whoa! [CRASH.]
Wow, how weird! It's usually Irma who flips out over a date.
Hey, Irma! We're starving.
Yeah.
What's happening with lunch? [COUGHING.]
It's burning, I think.
Ow! Owww! Ooh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeow! Owww! Ow-ohh! Please forgive me.
Oh, this kidnapping has me so upset.
We ought to get hazard pay for this.
Gee, I'd take any pay.
Uh-oh.
We got to put out that fire.
I sure wish shredder was here.
Hey! Uh-oh.
Whoa! Ohh! You had to open your big mouth.
Look at this place.
I knew I couldn't trust you to carry out this assignment.
Well, it ain't our fault, boss.
It's this floozy here.
Yeah, she's a real klutz.
Hold on! I resent that remark.
[CRUNCH.]
Ow-ow-ouch! Aah-oww! Oh.
Oh, I'm sorry.
See what I mean? We've covered the waterfront for hours and still nothing.
We'll never find shredder's hideout at this rate.
Hey, dudes, wake up and smell the pizza.
We can find him.
It's a cinch.
Oh, yeah? Exactly how do we do it? We follow them.
It's bebop and rocksteady.
No duh.
Why, Tiffany, darling, I don't know where you heard such a story.
You know you're my one and only, my very own turtledove.
Turtles Zap turtles.
Wow.
That Tiffany's hot, hot, hot.
That's not Irma.
It's some kind of robot.
I've got to warn the turtles.
A robot? Irma's been replaced by a robot? Exactly-- some kind of turtle-destroying android.
Ok.
We'll deal with it.
But first, we've got to save the real Irma.
Please hurry.
If anybody even whispers the word turtle, channel 6 will be history.
You heard April.
Let's go.
What humiliation.
The future ruler of the universe reduced to eating Chinese takeout.
Um, excuse me, your supreme highness, but could you pass the soy sauce? I've got some right here.
Oh.
I-I'm so I know.
Sorry.
I'll get you a washcloth.
[CRUNCH.]
Ow! Sorry.
Where would a supervillain keep his washcloths? Psst.
Irma.
Keep quiet and we'll get you out.
Oh, boy! You've come to rescue me! Now I can go on my date.
Shh.
The turtles! Get them! Let the good times roll! Whoa! Ohh! No! Look out! Whoa! Ohh! [CRASH.]
How about some egg flew young? [MUTTERING.]
What's he saying? [MUTTERING.]
Heh heh.
You don't want to know.
They're getting away! Try these on for size, shellbacks.
Oh, they got away.
You expected something else? At least Irma's safe.
Big story out on interstate 5, Stan.
A semi just flipped over and turned turtle.
Turtle Zap turtle.
I've heard of hot news flashes, but this is ridiculous.
Hurry, guys.
That robot is getting more dangerous by the moment.
It's going to destroy everyone at the station! Including that truly divine anchorman? I'm afraid so.
You heard April.
Don't spare the turtle power.
What do we have here, canned ham? Ugh Ugh Arghh! My, shredder, what a colorful entrance.
This is no time for jokes.
Your turtle Terminator has failed.
We'll see about that.
Turtle Terminator, this is your master.
I await your command, master.
Intercept those turtles and destroy them.
We've got to get to channel 6 right away.
Not to worry, bud.
We're just about there.
Correction-- we're just about finished! It's Irma! No way, dude.
She's totally bogus.
Oh, no! It's that robot again.
Her eyes are glowing.
Whoa.
How does she do that? I don't know, but it's kind of attractive.
Major bummer, dudes! Banzai! Turtles fight with honor! And women fight with handbags! Quick! Everyone inside.
Why should we run? That's a pretty good reason.
We can't fight that thing here.
The whole city will be wasted.
Ok, Einstein, so where do we go? I don't know, but first, let's convince it to come out with us.
Hey, lady, want a lift? Must get turtles.
APRIL: Hey, we're going nowhere fast.
That Irma android is using some kind of magnetic ray.
So much for taking that robot anywhere.
No, we can do it.
Let the robot grab us, April.
Now what? Quick.
Head for the abandoned amusement park.
You've got it, Donatello.
At last, the turtles are about to be defeated.
I wouldn't count my turtles before they've hatched, krang.
You're so negative.
Trust me.
Nothing can go wrong.
Everybody out.
April, you and Irma take cover.
We'll handle this.
But--but You heard him, April.
When turtles talk, Irma listens.
Yo, dudette.
Let's tango.
Ohh! I thought you liked a women with fire in her eyes.
I sure wish we could find something to eat.
Irma, how can you think of food at a time like this? Hey, I'm starving.
I never had lunch with that gorgeoso anchorman, remember? Oh, boy! A vending machine! And it's got my favorite health food-- chocolate-covered marshmallow fudge cake.
Well, Donatello, got any ideas how we can stop that robot? Just one.
Overload its targeting circuits and burn it out.
Bodacious notion, but, like, how? Simple.
We give it more targets than it can handle.
All right, let's do it.
Here we are! Over here! Hey, android! It's gone.
But where did it go? Irma? Irma, where are you? Irma, where did you disappear to? Disappear to? April, you'll never believe it-- I found this fantastic machine with all this health food and--oops.
Who are you, and who does your hair? Well, you see, I came along for the ride with the tur--uh! Whatever you do, don't use the "t" word.
The "t" word? What "t" word? Oh! You mean turtles.
Turtles Fellas, we've got a real problem if we can't find that android.
Yeow! Help! Sounds like April and Irma just found it for us.
Great.
Time to implement our game plan.
Why didn't you warn me the "t" word was turtles? Irma, you're hopeless.
Ok, batter up.
Visitors 8, home team nothin'.
Hey, babe.
Hit me with your best shot.
Ha! Not even close.
You gotta do better than that.
So much for that plan.
It's not getting overloaded.
We need more targets yet.
And I know just the place.
Destroy turtles.
Ladies and gentlemen! Robots and androids! Step right up! All the turtles you can shoot at! Thousands of tantalizing turtle targets! KRANG: Turtle Terminator, stop! Don't go in there.
I command you.
Must not stop.
Must destroy turtles.
It's cut me off.
It won't respond! Big deal.
It's going into a fun house.
Don't you understand? The only thing that could destroy that robot is in the fun house.
Hey, laser-breath! Your mother wears steel sneakers.
Can't zap me.
Can't zap me.
Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah! No, dudette, lay it on me.
Hey, over here.
No.
Over here.
No.
Over here.
Over here! Me first! I'm here, dude! Wow.
Talk about blowing a gasket.
Truly radical strategy, fearless leader, but what put you onto the mirror bit, huh? I remembered master splinter's words-- "things are not always what they seem.
" You know, I think I can repair and reprogram this thing.
Why would you want to do that? For one final mission.
Well, krang, it appears your turtle Terminator was a Turkey.
The experiment isn't over yet.
[TRANSPORT MODULE WHOOSHES.]
Now, who could that be? Zap shredder, zap krang, and zap mutants.
Yeow! Yeow! Yieee! Owww! Ooh-ow! Yieee-ooh! Eeyow! Ooh! Owww! No fair! I did what to the anchorman? You threw him right across the room.
What am I gonna tell him? Just tell him the truth.
Donatello's right.
The truth never hurts.
Yeah, and, like, here's your chance now.
Yoo-hoo! Mr.
incredibly handsome anchorman! I can explain.
No, no! Keep away! Ohh! Ohh! What can I say but Oops? On second thought, maybe the truth does hurt.
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