Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s04e13 Episode Script

9060-080 - Back to the Egg

[THEME SONG.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [ROARING.]
[DONATELLO.]
How ridiculous.
There's no such thing as a giant 30-foot salamander.
[LEONARDO.]
And that's coming from the lips of a talking turtle.
Hey, dudes! Check out this flier I just found in the sewer! The Posh Pizza.
Special introductory offer.
Four pizzas for the price of one! Is that an awesome deal or what? What about The Wizard That Swallowed Pittsburgh? Wouldn't you rather watch The Turtles That Scarfed Pizza? You've got a point.
[KRANG, LAUGHING.]
Come, Shredder! Bask in the brilliance of my latest invention! Behold, the weapon that will finally do away with our dreaded enemies, the Turtles.
A water pistol? [SUCKING UP WATER.]
You think this is just a silly toy, don't ya? Watch.
[CLUCKING.]
[KRANG.]
It's an age-reducing serum! One blast of it, and our enemies will revert back to helpless little turtles, leaving the city open to plunder.
Splendid! I'll administer it to them personally.
Oh, no, you won't.
I have decided to hand the assignment over to an expert.
[BELCHES.]
May I present Captain Krulik.
Owner of Captain Krulik's Intergalactic Space Circus, featuring the most exotic collection of mutants in the entire galaxy.
Captain Krulik, look out! One of your creatures is loose! This is Grillox, my right-hand mutant.
Aren't they a pair, though? Don't tell me you're sending this walking furball and his keeper to capture the Turtles! Captain Krulik is going to reduce the Turtles to helpless toddlers, and dispose of them in the bargain.
Really? And what's in it for you? I get to keep them.
Those walking, talking reptiles will be the new stars of my circus.
Shredder, prepare to leave for Earth.
I expect you to cooperate with Captain Krulik.
No, I can't believe it.
From ninja master to bounty hunter for some seedy circus.
Oh, stop whining, Shredder.
The show must go on! [LAUGHING.]
[MICHELANGELO.]
Here we are, compadres! The Posh Pizza.
Countdown to chow down! [LEONARDO.]
Well, I don't know, guys.
I don't think we're dressed up enough for this place! [DONATELLO.]
Yeah! If I'd known it was this fancy, I'd have picked up our tuxes from the cleaners.
Leonardo was right.
This place is too swanky for us.
No sweat, dudes! Our money's as green as anyone's.
Yeah, but so are our faces.
Bonjour, messieurs.
Do you have le reservation? Huh? Uhno, but we got le coupon.
Uhfour pizzas for the price of one.
Excuse moi, monsieur.
You are dripping on our priceless oriental carpeting.
Le okay, Pierre.
Take us to our table, and we'll drip there.
N'est pas? Very well.
Follow me.
[DISHES CLATTERING.]
[WITH BROOKLYN ACCENT.]
Hey, Louie! A 4-for-1 Special.
Right.
[SNIFFING, GRUNTING.]
You should have taken him out for walkies before we got here, Krulik! Don't be a fool! Grillox is the best mutant tracker in the galaxy! He's on the trail of those Turtles right now! [SNUFFLES, GRUNTS.]
He's found them! Oh, that must be for the Turtles.
Only they would be tacky enough to order a 4-for-1 Special! After I put the Age-Reversing Serum on those pizzas, they'll only want strained carrots! Grillox! Do it! I'll show Krang that he needs me, after all! Oops! So sorry.
[KRULIK.]
You clumsy idiot! I only squirted two of the pizzas! That was the last of the serum! I certainly hope you will eat and run.
Remind me to leave this guy a big tip.
Like, uh, don't eat crackers in bed.
[SLURPING, CHOMPING.]
Oh, what gives? Suddenly, this table's a little too high! So is your voice.
You wanna keep it down? Somethin' weird is goin' on! Michelangelo is shrinking! Leonardo is, too! What happened? I can't reach the pizza! Wah! I want my p-p-pizza! Well, you can't have mine! [SQUISHING.]
What the heck--? I mean, sacre bleu! Food fight! Food fight! Got ya! [GIGGLES.]
Did not! Did not! Ya missed me by a mile! There's something really weird going on here.
The rules are quite explicit.
No children allowed! [SPLASHING.]
Yow! Ow! Ow! Come on, guys! I got this knack for sensing when we're not wanted.
We better get them back to my lab, and fast! See what you've done! Only two of them got shrunk! Yeah, well you should've thought to bring more serum! Never mind.
Two is better than none.
I'll snag the brats, while you and Grillox take care of the other two.
Let me warn you.
I am not used to taking orders.
Let me warn you.
I'm not used to being disobeyed! [PANTING.]
[MICHELANGELO, LEONARDO.]
One, two, buckle my shoe! Three, four-- We'll settle this later! Right now, let's get those Turtles! [BABY TURTLES.]
One, two, buckle my shoe! Three, four, shut the door! Five, six-- Now you're in a fix! Shredder! Surprise! I shoulda known you were behind this! So these are your famous talking turtles, eh? Grillox! Take them! [GROWLING.]
Easier said than done, fella! [GROWLS.]
[SHREDDER.]
So much for amateurs! Now watch a professional! Care to dance? This is the perfect way to fight off garbage! [HOWLS.]
[CRASHES.]
[LEONARDO.]
Oh, whoa! We finally got out of that smelly place! [LEONARDO.]
Ah, this is kinda boring.
Let's go find a TV and watch some cartoons! Gnarly notion, dude! Michelangelo! Leonardo! Wait! Those little Turtles are getting away! Grillox! You stop the other Turtles! I'll go after them! [GRUNTS.]
Oh, the tiny Turtles are getting away! I know.
But we've got other problems! Help me loosen this fence! Right! Look out! [YELLING, GROWLING.]
Now where did Michelangelo and Leonardo go? Oh, dude! Scope out all the cars! How do we get across? You're supposed to cross when the light is green.
But it's red! I know.
But let's cross anyway.
[HORN HONKS.]
[TIRES SQUEAL.]
Look out! Look out! [HONKING, SQUEALING.]
[BRAKES SCREECH.]
Oh, that was fun! Do it again, huh? Do it again? You two are in big trouble.
You know you're not supposed to run out into traffic! Yeah! Grow up, will ya? Ah, phooey! What a couple of meanies! Ah, looks like we've got our work cut out for us! Let's get these two back to the lair, where they'll be safe! [DONATELLO.]
Now, the way I figure out, Shredder must have slipped some sort of age-reversing serum into our food.
But only Leonardo and Michelangelo actually ate it! Sounds right to me! [GULPING.]
Oh, this pizza is yummy! How do you make it? Michelangelo! You don't remember how to make pizza? Uh-uh.
Am I supposed to? Wow.
That serum sure is powerful stuff.
I know.
I only hope they don't regress any further! Further? Back to turtle eggs.
Okay.
You two stay here, and color your books.
Now Rafael and I have to go look for something.
Is Uncle Splinter gonna baby-sit us? Huh? No! He's out taking a sabbatical! Oh, is that like taking a bath? HuhI don't have time to explain just now.
Now remember: you're not to leave the lair.
You promise? Scout's honor! All right! Let's have some fun! Cool! Let's go sewer skating! Cowabunga! [KRULIK.]
Where could those blasted little Turtles have disappeared to? Don't ask me.
You're in charge of this operation.
[PHONE RINGS.]
Yes, Krang.
What is it? Of all the incompetent, lame-brained, half-wits! It's for you! Captain Krulik, here.
Well? Where are those Turtles? [LAUGHS NERVOUSLY.]
Well, we've run into a few stumbling blocks.
No excuses! Oh, you'll deliver those Turtles, or else! Or else what? Or else this! [ELECTROCUTION.]
He sends a rather forceful message, wouldn't you say? Never mind that! Now let's find those Turtles! Whatever you say, fearless leader.
Ha ha ha ha ha! [RAFAEL.]
Oh, yuck! [CANS RATTLE.]
Anyone who thinks a Ninja Turtle's life is all fun and games should see this episode! Sorry, but to find the antidote, we've gotta find the serum.
Yes, I know that! And to find the serum, we gotta find the leftover pizzas! Since when don't you like leftover pizza? Since now.
[FLIES BUZZING.]
Bingo! I found it! These are Michelangelo's teeth marks! And these are Leonardo's! I'd recognize 'em anywhere! Let's get these to my lab, and I'll run some tests.
Hey, can we stop on the way and pick up a pizza? I'm just kidding.
Oy, this is fun! [SCREAMS.]
[SHOUTS.]
Whoa! Oh, the stopping part isn't so great, though! Oh, my tummy's growling.
I'm hungry! Me, too.
Hey, look! There's the building where Auntie April works! I'll betcha she'll give us some milk and cookies! [FINGERS TAPPING.]
Hey, yo, Miss O'Neil? You got a couple of visitors.
Who is it, Murphy? I'm on a tight deadline.
Well, it's a couple of kids in Halloween costumes.
They say they're your nephews.
That's ridiculous! I don't have any nephews! Hi, Auntie April! Oh, boy, are we hungry! Murphy, don't let 'em out of your sight.
I'm on my way! Okay, you two.
Tell me who you are.
[LEONARDO.]
Well, don't you know us, Auntie April? I'm Leonardo! And I'm Michelangelo! You couldn't be! Leonardo and Michelangelo are teenagers! We are too us! [BAWLING.]
Why are you so m-m-m-mean? [BAWLING.]
All right, all right.
Don't cry.
Wait here while Auntie April makes a phone call.
Hey, look! Auntie April got her own TV set! Goodie! Let's watch some cartoons! [BEEPING.]
[STATIC.]
[EXPLOSION.]
Oh oh! You blowed up the TV! [STAMMERS.]
It blew itself up! [DONATELLO.]
Michelangelo! Leonardo! This is no time to play hide 'n' seek! I, uh, I hate to tell ya this, but they flew the coop.
[DONATELLO.]
Michelangelo's sewer skate is gone! Now that's the trouble with kids, nowadays.
They never listen! [PHONE RINGS.]
Donatello here.
Donatello, what's going on? Sorry, April.
No time to chat.
I've got an emergency here! Well, I've got an even bigger one! Or should I say, two small ones? You mean Michelangelo and Leonardo are with you? Then it really is them? Yes! Shredder slipped some age-reversal serum into their pizzas! Please, April, you've gotta keep them there until I figure out an antidote! Okay.
But try to hurry! The chief has been on my case all day! And to think I nearly lost my temper with poor little Michelangelo and Leonardo-- Oh, no! [LEONARDO.]
Look at us, Auntie April! We're playin' "Weatherman"! I'm making it snow! And I'm making a waterfall! And I'm having a nervous breakdown.
Where are you taking us, Auntie April? To watch TV? Huh? Huh? No to be on TV.
All right, kids! [KIDS.]
Hurray, Uncle Bob! Welcome to Uncle Bob's Costume Kiddie Cartoon Show! [ALL KIDS.]
Hooray! Hey, those are neat costumes you kids are wearing! Costume? What costume? What are your names? We're Leonardo.
And he's Michelangelo! Oh ho! You must be Italian! No, but we sure do like pizza! [DOG BARKING.]
[CAT YOWLS.]
[KRULIK.]
Time grows short! We must find those Turtles! [GRUNTING.]
Stop that! I don't have time for some stupid kiddie program! Ho! It looks like your mutant has the brain of a child! But he also has the instincts of a bloodhound! Look! [SHREDDER.]
The Turtles! They're mine, at last! [LAUGHING.]
[UNCLE BOB.]
Hey, kiddies! What's it time for? [KIDS.]
The Uncle Bob Show! Well, let's get started! [KIDS.]
Yay! The show's over, you little brats! It's Shredder and those bad guys! Uh-ha, excuse me.
You fellas are on the wrong set.
They're taping Star Drek in Studio 4B! That's enough out of you, clown! Shredder! Grillox! Seize them! [GROWLING.]
Hey, kids! Don't be afraid! They're just big bogus bullies! Hurt ya! [UNCLE BOB LAUGHS.]
[LAUGHING.]
All right! [GROWLING.]
[ROARING.]
[THUD.]
[KIDS CHEER.]
Yay! If you want something done properly-- Eh? [COUGHING.]
[sing-songy.]
Here we go 'round the mulberry bush Wee! [GROANS, THUDS.]
Oh, what do you know? The mulberry bush fell down! Hey, kids! What do we do to bad guys? [KIDS.]
We tickle 'em! Tickle tickle tickle! [KRULIK GIGGLES.]
Oh, stop it! Uncle! Uncle! [BOTH.]
Tiny Turtle Power! [DONATELLO.]
This is it, Rafael! The age-reducing antidote! Well, it's about time! I was getting old waiting! Quick! Pop a couple of frozen pizzas into the microwave! Oh, man.
You picked a heck of a time to get an attack of the munchies! [DONATELLO.]
No, it's for Leonardo and Michelangelo! The serum was on a pizza, so the antidote has to be taken the same way.
[APRIL.]
I better peek in on the boys, and see how they're doing.
Oh, no! Not again! Oh, no! Shredder! What have you done to Leonardo and Michelangelo? Don't look at me! This isn't my evil plan! Ask Captain Krulik! Your little friends are perfectly safe.
At least for the moment.
Don't trust that guy, Auntie April! Yeah! We let him up when he said "uncle," and then he grabbed us! He cheated! What are you gonna do with them? These shell-backed mutants will be the stars of my circus! They'll perform in every galaxy in the universe! Put those poor innocent things in a circus? Over my dead body! Egad! What a tantalizing suggestion! Grillox! [GROWLING.]
[ROARING.]
Let go of me, you big ape! Try to interfere, and your little reptile friends will be scrambled turtles! Captain Krulik, you're a despicable, heartless monster! Oh, I remember when you used to say those things to me.
[PHONE BEEPS.]
What was that? It's called a Turtle-com.
It keeps her in contact with those slimy reptiles.
It does, eh? Yes? Hey! Where's April? I'm afraid she's tied up right now.
[LAUGHING.]
You again! What's going on there? Come to Studio 9B, and find out for yourselves! Well, it looks like I'll go home with all four Turtles, after all! Why the panic? It's that same creep who jumped us in the alley! He's got April's Turtle-Com! Which means he's got April! April! What happened? Run, April! Run! I can't! This rope is attached to that platform! You bad guys will be sorry now! Yeah, our big brothers are gonna fix you good! We're gonna need all the help we can get.
Leonardo! Michelangelo! Catch! Oh, I'm tired of pizza! Mine's got mushrooms on it! Yech! Hi-yah! [CLANK.]
Quit griping and eat those pizzas! Forget it! No way! Finish your pizza, and you'll get ice cream! Oh, boy! [CHOMPING.]
Hey! What's going on? [VOICE GETTING DEEPER.]
I feel so weird We're growing bigger! Holy guacamole! Help! Stop! Get me down! [SCREAMS.]
[ROARS.]
Cowabunga! Ready to face the Mean Green Team? Four against three.
I hate those odds! Krang! Mayday! Mayday! Portal us up! [ELECTRONIC HUM.]
Leonardo! Michelangelo! You're yourselves again! Dudette, we were always us! Just a skosh shorter.
[KRANG.]
So, Krulik, you failed.
And miserably, I might add.
Why, you're no better than Shredder! Eeeit's all Grillox's fault! Yes, you fouled things up for the last time, you fur-covered banana-brain! [GROWLS.]
[SCREAMS.]
No, no! Go away! Don't hurt me! I'm really a terrific guy! I love mutants! [MICHELANGELO.]
Man, I don't see why we've got to clean up the lair.
Because you're the ones who messed it up! Sure! Blame it on a couple of five-year-olds! Bro, look at this fabuloso drawing I did! Not bad.
But mine's better.
Is not! Is too! Is not! Is too! Better mix up another batch of that antidote, boy genius! Looks like this one's wearing off.
Is not! Is too! Too! Not! Closed-Captioning By
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