Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s04e28 Episode Script

9061-011 - Poor Little Rich Turtle

[THEME SONG] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power And this is the main dining room of the Shellhammer Estate.
But do you actually give many dinner parties here? Not since my grandfather passed away, I'm afraid.
Now we mainly use it for charity functions.
I'm quite active in 27 charities, in addition to my work running Shellhammer Chemical.
I believe that we should all contribute in some small way to making this world a better place.
Buffy Shellhammer, heiress to the Shellhammer fortunes, chief executive officer of Shellhammer Chemical, perhaps the most powerful and the most respected 15-year-old girl in the world today.
April O'Neil, Happy Hour News.
I think I'm in love.
Forget it, Michelangelo.
It'd never work out.
Yeah.
She isn't even a turtle.
So? Nobody's perfect.
Boy, did you see her mansion, though? I sure could deal with that level of luxury.
Outward appearances are often deceiving, Raphael.
For all her wealth, I feel Buffy is not a happy young woman.
No way, Master Splinter.
How could a sweet dudette like her be unhappy? All right, pack up this junk and get out of my face! Excuse me.
I didn't realize we were annoying you.
You jerk weeds tromp all over my expensive carpets, and you ask the most totally bogus questions I ever heard! Now beat it before I get mad.
This is your way of making the world a better place? That's just the hoo-hah my media advisor tells me to say.
Well, you put on quite a convincing act, Miss Shellhammer.
Gosh.
She sure had me fooled.
Well, Irma, it seems that beneath that sweet exterior, there lurks a real brat! [KRANG] There must be some way to get free of this lava bed.
The right amount of pressure applied at just the right point.
But how to do it? Are you still trying to get the Technodrome moving? So? Everyone's got to have a hobby.
It can be done, but we'll need fuel-- oodles of fuel, super rocket fuel.
And I know just where to get it: a place on Earth called Shellhammer Chemical! Michelangelo, this is stupid.
I just want to see where she lives.
Buffy Shellhammer is totally my main flame.
Besides, Raphael, don't tell me you aren't curious to see how the other half lives.
And who knows? I just might get a glimpse ofBuffy.
There's one more device you must take with you.
Oh, gee, boss--[SNORT]-- do we really need all these weapons? I'm taking no chances this time.
You must not fail.
Oh, but with all this stuff, how are we gonna carry the girl? That's what this device is for.
It's a shrinking ray.
The girl will be heavily guarded.
You may need to reduce her to a more portable size when you kidnap her.
Activate the portal, Krang.
[MAN] Buffy, you're due at the board meeting in 20 minutes.
Aw, Dad, why do I have to waste my time listening to a bunch of old fogies? Your grandpa left you in charge of the company, Buff.
Oh, why can't I ever do the things I want to do? Aah! Oof! Hang on.
Hang on.
Okay, girlie, don't move.
Aah! Get her! [LEONARDO] Get this! You creepazoids leave that dudette alone! Nuh-uh! We saw her first.
Aah! Aah! Aah! Oh! Ow! My ankle! Okay, that does it.
From now on, those two pay for our dry cleaning.
Mm, nap her with that shrink gizmo.
Oh, just forget it.
Just nap her.
Oh! Cowabunga! Uh, where'd they go? Boy, did you see all those weapons they were carrying? Those dudes can't get away with kidnapping sweet, innocent dudettes like you.
Put me down, you sleazoid! Who are you goons? Why do you wear those stupid masks? Ow! That's my real face! What are you, some kind of a Martian? We're the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
Yeah, and in case you haven't been paying attention, we just saved your life.
Yeah? Well, from here, it looks like you're trying to kidnap me, buster.
We're trying to protect you.
I can look after myself, nerd head! Now let me go! I want to go home.
You aren't going anywhere with that hurt ankle We've got to get you to someone who can fix it.
By applying an ancient shiatsu technique, your ankle will be healed.
I don't believe I'm letting a giant rat doing a totally bogus magic trick on my foot.
You may stand, young lady.
Huh? It feels better.
You must have hypnotized me.
He did no such thing.
Why have you brought me here? I hate it, and it's disgusting! Hey, hey, hey! You happen to be talking about our home.
Well, okay, so it could use a little tidying up.
You see, Buffy, there are two mutant punks with enough weapons to start a major war looking for you.
And you'd better tell us why they're after you.
I don't have to tell you creepoids anything! Buffy, no! Come back! We can't just let her go.
Those two goons might get her.
So? Let her be their headache.
Besides, there must be something major going down if Shredder wants that little brat.
Brat? I thought she was your "main flame.
" Yeah, well, that was before I got to know her better.
Buffy, don't! It's dangerous! Aah! Buffy! Aah! Buffy! Banzai! Now do you get the idea we're trying to help you? This wouldn't have happened if you hadn't brought me down here.
We brought you down here to protect you from those two geekazoids.
And it won't be long before those dimwits put 2 and 2 together and come down here looking for her.
We've got to get her to someplace safe.
Yeah, but where? [IN UNISON] April's apartment.
[KRANG] Excellent! The construction is proceeding ahead of schedule.
But all this work won't do us a bit of good without that Buffy girl.
Bebop, Rocksteady, have you found that girl yet? Uhnot exactly, boss, but we almost had her, but the Turtles showed up, and, uh, we lost her.
The Turtles! The Turtles! Always the Turtles! I gave you 17 different tracking devices.
Now use them and find that girl! Oh, wow.
I always wanted to see this place.
in this city, and you have to bring us up here? It's the nearest one to a pay phone.
Then hurry up and call April while we keep an eye on-- Buffy? Don't run off like that, dudette.
We got to guard you from the forces of evil-- uh, and all that stuff.
Oh, lighten up! I've never done this before.
Don't get out much, do you? Are you kidding? All I do is go to board meetings and charity balls.
Okay, what do I want to do next? Oh, excellent! This kid's getting to be a real pain in the shell.
Mmmm Give me one of those and one of those and one of those! Buffy, you've got to stop this.
Oh, are you kidding? I haven't even started.
How come we couldn't get stuck with one of those icky-cutesie sweet kids they have in all the other cartoon shows? Buffy, this is, like, totally excellent fun, but it's dangerous.
What's so dangerous? We're on a seesaw, for cryin' out loud! I mean those two goons who are trying to kidnap you.
We can't hang around here all day.
Oh! Oof! Oh, we can't, huh? How would you like it if I suddenly started screaming at the top of my lungs? Uh, not much.
Or if I started yelling that the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were here! Oh, you wouldn't do that, a sweet little dudette like you? Then shut up and start playing! Oh, man, is this gonna wreck our heroic image.
Oh, ho, ha ha, wow! This is more fun than I ever had in my whole life! Buffy, we can't stay out in the open like this.
It's dangerous.
Oh, relax.
What can possibly happen on a merry-go-round? Does that answer your question? Whoa! Whoa! Heh heh heh.
Got her.
Ooh, let me go, you sleazoid! To the rescue! Yaah! Uhhn! To the doctor's! Hey, stand still, will you? Uh--No way! You little creepette! [CHOKING] Hey, this is what I call a tasty fight.
Crank it up, dudes! Uh-oh! Come on! Let's book on out of here! Ah, those turtles beat us again.
But at least we're getting some decent between-meal sweets.
[RING] Hey, boss! Haven't you two lame brains gotten that girl yet? No, and we never will unless you send us something that'll get us past those Turtles first.
Oh, very well.
April, we need to put somebody up in your apartment.
Who? Buffy Shellhammer.
Oh, no.
I've had enough of that brat for one day.
Bebop and Rocksteady are after her, and we've got to find out why.
All right, all right.
What do you want me to do? Well, dig up anything you can about Shellhammer Chemical.
We've got to find out why Shredder is so interested in it.
I got to hand it to you, dudette.
You sure gave it to those two creepazoids.
Hey, I've been handling hostile takeovers since my grandfather gave me his company.
Listen, Buffy, those punks are going to a lot of trouble to kidnap you.
Whatever the reason, it's got to be something big.
And if it's that big, it has something to do with your company.
And if it has something to do with your company, then you must know something about it.
Well, there is something.
What is it? What is it? It's something my grandfather told me just before he died-- something he made me promise not to tell anybody.
You got to tell us, Buff! We've got to know what Shredder's up to.
Look, I know you guys saved me from those creeps, but I can't break my promise.
Buffy, it's important.
Whatever those guys are after, it's for something bad.
Nothing can make me tell my grandpa's secret! Whoa! Look out! How did they get that thing all the way up here? Easy.
We took the stairs.
[IN UNISON] Go, green machine! Whoa! Whoa! Next stop, Dimension X.
Well, Miss Shellhammer, I've been looking forward to meeting you for quite some time.
Who are you? And what do you want with me? Just some information, which you will give me! Wait till the Turtles get a hold of you, you creep! I'm afraid not even the Turtles can help you now.
Oh, yeah? The Turtles will-- Isn't there some way of shutting this brat up? I'd say that's a big negatoid.
Why didn't you use the shrink ray on her? Well, gee whiz, boss, you never showed us how to work the darn thing.
Never mind.
It's time to find out what she knows.
Take her to the brainalyzer room.
Oh, I can't leave those guys alone for five seconds.
[GASP] I don't believe this! What I gonna say to the landlord? He'll never give back my cleaning deposit.
Wait till I get my hands on those turtles! Hey, where are they? [LEONARDO] Down here in Mrs.
Kowalcek's apartment.
Catch! Come on.
Eat something, boys.
You look a little green.
Uh, no, thanks, Mrs.
Kowalcek.
Some other time.
Dear diary, well, what a day it's been.
Do you mind explaining why my apartment looks like a war zone? Bebop and Rocksteady drove off with Buffy.
They drove off with her? Well, it's a long story.
Did you find out anything about Shellhammer Chemical? Buffy's grandfather was working on a top secret venture before he passed away: something called The Z Project.
But what is it? Apparently, it was the most concentrated powerful rocket fuel ever.
But he didn't leave behind any notes.
No one knows the formula.
Of course.
What better place to hide a secret formula than in the head of a young girl.
Now, young lady, you have two choices.
Either you tell me your grandfather's formula willingly, or the brainalyzer will extract it from your mind.
Go kick a fender, chrome brain! Very well.
The brainalyzer is sensitive to both thoughts and emotions.
It will drain the knowledge right out of your head.
Ha ha ha ha! Sensitive to emotions, huh? Then you know what I think? I think you're a complete and utter total jerk, man.
Yeah, you, and all your sleazoid goons! You have, like, no sense of hospitality whatsoever.
You haven't offered me so much as a cheeseburger since I got here! You're ugly! You're stupid! Get it off her! And as far as I'm concerned [ELECTRICITY SURGES, SCREAMS] you can go stick your head in a shark tank! Oh, what a wretched brat! Ha ha ha ha ha! Never in my life have I seen such an obnoxious child! You think this is bad? You should have tried catching her.
If you'd used the shrink ray like I told you-- Aha.
Yes, of course! Hey, what are you doing? Aah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'll return you to normal when you tell me the formula! Come on, Donatello, you've got to get this dimensional portal working.
Yeah, it's our only ticket to the Technodrome.
And we've just got to save Buffy.
Hey, I'm sorry, guys, but I never got around to fixing it from the last time it blew up.
[KRANG] The construction is almost completed.
We are ready to turn this entire planetoid into a colossal spaceship, and then terrorize the whole universe! The girl will talk.
It's just a matter of time.
Well, she'd better talk soon.
I can't wait all day to rule the universe.
Hmph.
Those goof bags used a mouse cage, but that doesn't work on people.
I'd better go to that room I came in through.
It may be the only way out of this flea trap.
Hurry, dude! We've just got to rescue Buffy! I wouldn't get your hopes up.
This thing may have blown up one time too many.
Make that two times too many.
I hate to say it, but this is one time we're not gonna make it to the rescue.
Hey, you wacky dudes! Buffy! Where are you, dudette? I'm in the portal room.
And you've figured out how to use the transdimensional communicator all by yourself? Piece of cake.
I run a scientific company, remember? Is that girl totally awesome or what? Tell me how to work the control so I can open the portal.
You see the big red knob? Yeah.
Turn it to 27.
Now go to the big blue slider, and push it all the way down.
You did it! We'll come through and get you out of there.
[BUFFY] Uh, there's a little problem.
You're right.
This is a problem.
A very little problem.
Micro-Buff! What have those geekazoids done to you? They used some kind of ray on me.
Shredder said he'd return me to normal after I told him the formula.
That must have been the same ray we saw Bebop use.
And the circuitry must be able to expand objects as well as shrink them.
Wait here, Buffy.
We'll get that thing and have you back to normal pronto.
There it is! [RAPHAEL] Uh-oh, and there they are.
No problemo.
There's only 10 of 'em.
Uh, make that 60.
How come the odds got to lousy all of a sudden? You didn't think you'd get away that easily, did you? I've been monitoring you all this time.
And if you don't tell me the formula in five seconds, your friends will be finished.
Okay, okay! Just don't hurt the Turtles, okay? The fuel is just ordinary liquid hydrogen rocket fuel with two special ingredients: sulphur and charcoal.
That's brilliant! Aah! Now we can instantly make all the fuel we need.
Foot soldiers! Destroy the Turtles! Well, that wasn't very sporting of 'em.
Oh, the crumb! He won't get away with breaking his promise.
Wonder what would happen if I connected this circuit cable to the intercom.
[HIGH FREQUENCY BUZZ] Turtles, attack! Wahh! Let's boogie, buds! What has that brat done now? Hang on, Buffy! Oh, good.
They're getting away.
Good riddance.
I never want to see that wretched brat again as long as I live! Well, we got you home safe and sound.
Yeah.
I'm gonna miss you guys.
Well, if you're ever in the sewers, look us up.
I'm just sorry you had to go through all that stuff with Shred Head.
Are you kidding? This is the most fun I've ever had in my whole life.
And I'm sorry you had to break your promise to your grandfather.
Oh.
But I didn't.
[CHUCKLE] What? Now, wait a minute.
I heard you give Shredder the formula.
I gave him a formula, not the formula.
What did you give him? Our company's recipe for firework fuel.
Now, now to launch this entire planetoid! [SHREDDER] [KRANG] Oh, no.
[KRANG, SHREDDER] Aah! [SHREDDER] That insufferable brat! Look what she's done! Forget Buffy! We have bigger problems now.
We've got to get this place right-side-up again! Oh, Michelangelo! What'cha staring at, buddy? Uh, just something Buffy gave me before we left.
Come on.
Let me see it, man.
Michelangelo, you are out of your mind.
You mean it wouldn't work out? No way.
She's a human.
She's only gonna be interested in human boys.
The kind who don't have to wear stupid disguises just to go out on the street.
I only hope the heartbreak isn't more than you can bear.
Nah.
There's more important things in life than dudettes.
Really? Like what? Like pizza! Ha ha.
Now there's a boy who has his priorities straight.
Burbank.
CA