Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s04e31 Episode Script

9061-014 - Donatello's Degree

[THEME SONG.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in the half shell Turtle power [SPLINTER.]
Faster, Leonardo.
Higher leaps, Raphael.
Sweeping motions, Michelangelo.
Yes, now you have the proper technique.
Man, don't you just hate spring cleaning? Wash the windows, scrub the floors, save the world.
My entire life is work, work, work.
Master Splinter, how come Donatello gets to cop out on this housecleaning bit? Donatello has been excused to allow him to study for his upcoming exam in binary cyberion generators.
[RAPHAEL.]
That old excuse again? Ah, there.
My final exam is completed.
Now to mail it to the correspondence school.
This is the toughest part of this correspondence course.
(HORN HONKING) (CLOCK TICKING) Hey, give it a rest, Donatello.
Pacing back and forth won't get the mail delivered any sooner.
I can't help it, Raphael.
Today's the day I find out if I got my degree.
Is this what you've been waiting for? I don't believe it! It's from Professor Sopho himself.
Who's Professor Sopho? He's only the head of the entire university.
He says I've graduated with the highest grades ever.
Yeah! Outrageous, dude! Hey, and listen to this.
I've been invited to the university to receive my degree in person.
Yeah? Well, I hope you got the right dress for the occasion.
Dress? It's addressed to "Miss Donna Tello.
" Whoa, it looks like the prof's expecting a dudette, not a dude, dude.
Definitely not a turtle.
Too bad, Donatello.
I guess you'll just have to forget about any personal appearances.
Yeah, tough tortillas, bud.
No way.
I've worked too hard for that degree.
I deserve it! But how could I get it? How? Hold everything! I just thought of a way.
And nobody has to know.
Attention, homeowners.
Is your house burglar-proof? Take it from me.
Every household needs the nation's number one alarm system.
I'd rather use a number nine frying pan.
Whoa! Donatello? Irma, I must talk to you! Hey, drop in anytime.
I need your help in picking up my degree at a university.
Why me? Because they think I'm a Miss instead of a Mr.
What do you say, huh? Will you pretend to be me? Gee, I don't think so.
But, Irma, you'll love it.
It's on a beautiful lake.
Oh, forget it.
I get seasick.
It's surrounded by pine trees and flowers.
I've also got allergies.
And the campus is crawling with eligible men.
What are we waiting for? Let's get going.
Now, remember.
From now on, your name is Donna Tello.
Donna Tello.
I kind of like that name.
I might even keep it when this whole thing is over.
[CONDUCTOR.]
All out for Sopho University! That's us, Irma.
I mean, "Donna.
" So now what do I do? You wait for someone to pick you up.
I'm not that kind of a girl.
Miss Tello? [DONATELLO.]
Psst, that's you! Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah! That's me! Professor Sopho has requested we drive you to the university.
Ouch! Did you say "ouch?" No, no, no, no.
I said "out.
" It's so nice to be out in the country.
Here we are, dear old Sopho U.
My, what big buildings you have.
The better to teach you with, my dear.
Oh, brother.
April O'Neil, get in here! You bellowed, Mr.
Thompson? There's something mysterious going on at Bottomless Lake upstate.
Bottomless Lake? Suddenly, thousands of fish are overflowing the lake.
I want you to get up there pronto.
Sounds dangerous, chief.
Maybe I should go along just in case there's trouble.
Oh, good idea, Vernon.
Good, good, good, good.
Some of those minnows might be might fierce.
Fierce minnows? On second thought, I better stick around here and guard the home front.
Too late, Vernon.
You've made your river bed, now lie in it.
We're here, Donatello.
It's safe to come out now.
[GROANS.]
Next time I travel in a trunk, I'm shipping myself "first class, fragile, this end up.
" Miss Tello? It's Professor Sopho.
May I come in? Just a moment-- I mean, uh [high-pitched voice.]
Just a moment.
You're on your own.
Please don't blow it.
Welcome, Miss Tello.
I'm honored to have you here at my university.
Honored? Honest? Oh, yes.
It's not often that I meet someone with your incredible scientific knowledge.
[GIGGLES.]
I'll bet you say that to all us unbelievably brilliant geniuses.
I'm beginning to think this was a big mistake.
Here's your lunch, Miss Tello.
We prepared your favorite dish.
Ta-da! Pizzas? It's right here on your application.
"List your three favorite foods.
" "Pizza, pizza, and more pizza.
" [LAUGHS.]
I've had it up to here with all this housecleaning.
When do we get to stop? When the lair is clean enough for Master Splinter's liking.
Hey, dudes.
Work's a cinch when you do it to a cool beat.
Ha ha! Whoa! Or in this case, a warm soapy one.
And this is the very latest version of a binary hexi-decimal retrieval transducer.
But of course with your scientific expertise, you knew that right away.
Hey, you can't fool a whiz kid like me when it comes to biolateral translucents.
[GROANS.]
She blew it.
[LAUGHS.]
A sense of humor, too.
I like that in a brilliant scientist.
Whew.
That was close.
Now, come, my dear.
Let me show you the rest of the university, hmm? Hmm.
There's something weird going on here.
Why does a university need a hexi-decimal transducer? Hey, you! What are you doing here? Me? Oh.
I'm here for the costume party.
How do you guys like my turtle outfit? There's something fishy about this reptile.
I say we cook his goose.
[LAUGHS.]
You two wimps? You gotta be joking.
If we're joking, you're about to die laughing.
Whoever you are, get ready to say "bye-bye" in turtle talk.
Do you mind is I go first? Oh, be my guest.
All right, wise guy.
Try this on for size.
[CHUCKLES.]
I can tell from here it won't fit.
[VERNON.]
Burne was right.
There's so many fish in this lake, there's barely any room for the water.
Vernon, this could be the scoop of the year.
Start unloading the equipment.
Here's all the equipment I'll need.
Fishing equipment.
Vernon! Come back! We've got a story to cover! I've already got the story.
"Heroic newsman catches record batch of fish.
Film at 11.
" Whoa! Vernon! Oh, no! I can't let him out of my sight for a second! Aah! Whoa! Vernon! Can I do anything? I think I need mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
What ever you say, Vernon.
Here.
Wha--wha-- [SPITS.]
Whew.
Finally finished housecleaning.
Until next spring, that is.
It does the fax Max.
Max has been acting totally freaked lately.
Yeah, well, you know what they say, "The nut doesn't fall far from the shell.
" Have any of you seen Donatello? No, Master, not for hours.
If I know that dude, he's probably hanging out at the library.
Actually, Michelangelo's right.
I am hanging out at the library.
There's something oh so phony about Sopho U, and I intend to find out what it is.
On these walls you'll find every book ever written on every field of science known to man.
[IRMA.]
Ahem! And of coursewomen.
That's more like it.
I assume you've read Stienman's treatises on magnetronic circuitries of the filamentary synchronizing indoctrascope.
Well, actually, I was waiting for the movie.
Uh-oh.
Whoa! A turtle saved by a bunch of fish.
Is that poetic justice or what? This whole setup gets fishier by the--whoa--minute.
I'm more convinced than--uhh--ever that there's something-- whoa-- slippery about this Sopho guy.
I'm worried, dudes.
Maxwell is acting totally stressed.
Maybe all those pizza crumbs are making him hyper.
No possible way.
I always scrape off the anchovies.
He's headed for the sewer! Wait! Max! Where you going? Come back! Quick, Raphael.
We've gotta rescue him.
You mean Michelangelo or Maxwell? Michelangelo! Hang on! We'll save youuuuuuu! Well, that's it, Miss Tello.
You've now seen the entire university.
So what do you think? It's so I--I just don't know.
What's the word? So universal.
Speaking of the universe, I have a rather earthshaking announcement to make at this evening's award ceremony.
And it involves you.
Me? What sort of announcement? [LAUGHS.]
A genius like yourself should have already guessed.
Until then, au revoir.
An announcement that involves me.
I wonder what he could mean by that.
A giant galvanometric oscilloscope? Oh, this baby's big enough to change the molecular vibrations of the earth's core.
Which explains all those fish in the lake.
They must have been attracted by the high-magnetic frequency.
But how is Sopho planning to use it? I don't believe it! Sopho is planning to use the giant oscilloscope to fling every creature from the face of the earth and leave it as bald as his own head.
I gotta do something about this.
But first I've gotta find Irma and warn her.
[BEEP.]
Uh-oh.
Oh, great.
A cybernetic security system.
Ha ha! Missed me! Whoa! Looks like I spoke too soon.
Whoa! I gotta get out of this thing.
But how? Uhh! Well, that's one way of doing it.
Ha! You gotta be quicker than that to catch me.
Up here, fella! Yoo-hoo! [SIGHS.]
Now to find Irma and warn her.
Fellow scientists, welcome to Sopho U's graduation exercises.
I have an announcement that will change the entire world as we know it.
But first, please relax and enjoy your dinner.
It will probably be your last meal on earth.
What's that, Professor? Oh--ahem-- I said "Let's all have a great deal of mirth.
" This waiters outfit wasn't a bad idea.
I might even pick up a few tips.
There's Irma.
But how can I talk to her when she's sitting right next to Sopho? And why am I talking to myself? I know.
I'll write her a note.
"Irma Big trouble.
You must leave now!" SignedD.
Why, Miss Tello, you've barely touched your Sopho soufflé.
On my diet, soufflé is a definite no-no.
Perhaps a sandwich would be more to the lady's liking.
That was a note! You were supposed to read it, not eat it.
I thought it was sliced awfully thin.
And that concludes our report on the fish-infested phenomenon of Bottomless Lake.
This is April O'Neil signing off.
Okay, Vernon, that's a wrap.
Let's head back.
What's your hurry, dudette? We just got here.
The Turtles.
How did you get here? By way of the sewer system.
Yeah, we took the scenic route.
Where's Donatello? We haven't the foggiest notion.
I really miss that brainiac.
I'll be he could tell us what's going on here.
Hey, the important thing is my little bud Maxwell is okay.
[BURNE.]
April! Vernon! Are you still there at the lake? Yes, chief, What's up? Professor Sopho has contacted all the media that he's about to make a big, big, big, big announcement.
And I want you to cover it.
[APRIL.]
That's his university right there.
Okay, chief.
We're on our way.
Irma, you've got to get out of here.
This Sopho guy is a real crackpot.
Crackpot? A whacko.
A nutcase.
A walking loony bin.
Oh, come on, Donatello.
All geniuses are a little eccentric.
Maybe you're just jealous that someone has finally recognized my superior intellect.
Hey.
Whoa.
Sopho thinks you're me, remember? It was my brain power that got you here.
Then how come I've got the feeling he's going to offer me a job? No, Irma! Wait! So, it's you again.
The turtle.
I'm warning you.
I may be green, but I'm also mean.
But now you're bagged and you're also snagged.
We'll stay here while you and Vernon check out this Professor Sopho story.
That's cool with me and Max.
These eggheads can be drier than a year-old pizza.
Look, Vernon, it's Irma.
What's she doing here? [VERNON.]
I think we're about to find out.
And now, fellow scientists, the announcement you've all been waiting to hear.
I have selected Miss Donna Tello, a woman whose genius matches my own almost to be my partner in a momentous scientific experiment.
[APPLAUSE.]
Why did he call her "Miss Donna Tello?" Better question: Why would he want her to be his partner? Together, we will create achievements undreamed of by ordinary mortals.
[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE.]
Irma, what's this all about? April, did you hear the news? I'll bet when Burne Thompson hears about this job offer, he'll start to appreciate me.
Professor, this is my best friend April.
Is it okay if she becomes a third partner? Definitely not! There's only room for the two of us! Sorry, April! I tried! Where are we going? I want you to witness the surprise I have planned for the scientific world.
While you and I are safely ensconced in my subterranean laboratory, my galvanometric oscilloscope will spin all those inferior beings from the face of the earth! Then you and I shall return to the surface as its supreme rulers! Oh, boy.
Donatello was right.
You are a nutcase.
Perhaps you'd like the honor of speeding up the earth.
I'd rather kiss a water buffalo.
You! What are you doing? [ELEVATOR DINGS.]
Bye! Ha ha! See if I care! Then I'll rule the world without you! And don't bother trying to shut off the oscilloscope.
I'm setting it on permanent spin cycle! [GRUNTS.]
I've got to get free somehow.
Donatello, you were right.
I'm not a genius.
I'm a jerk.
Oh, Irma.
It's not the end of the world.
But it will be if we don't figure out a way to stop this oscilloscope.
Whoa! Righteous light show.
Mother Nature can't decide whether it's night or day.
This is serious.
Something is speeding up the earth's rotation.
[YELLING.]
April's in there.
We've got to get to her.
This is April O'Neil with the 6 P.
M.
News.
Make that 6 A.
M.
News.
No.
Um 6 P.
M.
News.
Quick, April.
You've got to get out of here.
We can't leave without Irma.
She's still in the lab with Donatello.
Donatello? Here? So that's where the dude's been hanging out.
Uhh! It's no use, Irma.
I'll never get out of these chains.
Remember what Master Splinter taught us.
Never say never.
Leonardo.
Raphael.
Michelangelo.
How did you fellas get here? Simple.
We just swam upstream with the rest of the salmon.
Quick.
We've got to get inside this thing and turn if off.
Ta-da! Wish me luck.
Well? Can you shut it down? Not without special tools.
Let me have a look.
Hold on.
Maybe we have the right tool after all.
[IRMA.]
A hairpin? [BIRDS CHIRPING.]
[ALL CHEERING.]
Well, what do you know? I guess I have a head for science after all.
And Professor Sopho and his two accomplices have been arrested and charged with world-wide revolution.
You have done well, my students.
Especially you, Donatello.
Thanks, Sensei.
I guess I really earned this degree.
But the best part of all is that my finny-little bud Maxwell is back to normal again.
Ouch! Maybe he's not so normal after all.
Like anything bad attached to Michelangelo could be normal? I am your leader! You are my pet! You will let go of my finger! Sit! Heel! Let go! Burbank, Ca
Previous EpisodeNext Episode