Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s05e01 Episode Script

6101-0000 - Planet of the Turtleoids (1)

[theme song] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [Donatello] Come on, guys, wake up.
I've got my latest invention working.
I've been up all night perfecting it.
[yawn] Yeah, thanks for the news flash, Ace.
Can we go back to sleep now? No.
Come and see it.
Oh, we'd better go look, Raphael, or there'll be no living with him.
My automatic Easter egg machine.
I simply put raw eggs in one end of the machine, and voilá, Easter eggs come out the other.
No muss, no fuss, no Easter egg dye on your hands.
Let me guess.
You volunteered us to color Easter eggs for Channel 6's annual Easter egg hunt.
Okay, if we're gonna start with these rotten egg jokes, I am out of here.
Let us know when you need more eggs.
We'll go get 'em.
Hey, thanks, Leonardo.
You set an egg-zample for us all.
[yawn] Far out, dude.
What's this gizmo do? Look out, Michelangelo! Whoa! Hold on, Michelangelo! I'll turn it off! [choking] Help! Get me off this thing! Whoa! I guess it needs a little fine tuning.
You're right.
I prefer my eggs over easy.
[Krang] Shredder! Come and see my latest invention! A TV remote control? Someone has already invented that, Krang.
Don't be ridiculous.
All my inventions look like TV remote controls, but this one I call my Docilizer.
Any Earthling who gets zapped by my Docilizer ray will instantly become timid and obedient.
The people of Earth would be easy to conquer.
Bebop! Rocksteady! Ain't this great, boss? I've always loved cute little bunny rabbits.
I even like big ugly bunny rabbits.
Oh, have you turned my mutants into rabbits? Of course not.
They are wearing disguises in order to test my device.
It is Easter time on Earth.
No one will suspect two Easter Bunnies of any evil intent.
We're going undercover.
You expect these two dumb bunnies to test your device? Once I have tested the Docilizer ray, I will direct a super-powerful ray through this microwave transmitting tower, zapping the entire population, and they'll all become subservient, frightened creatures.
Where are you carrying out this test? Channel 6! Ha ha! On April O'Neil and her friends, of course! Oh, that is good.
The whole city will watch as their favorite news team starts acting like timid rabbits.
And when we've conquered the city, I will personally take care of those Turtles.
Into the portal, and hop to it.
Ooh, if this episode is gonna be full of rabbit jokes, I'm out of here.
[April] You've got to help me out, Mr.
Me in a bunny suit? No way.
No, no, no.
The guy I hired to play the bunny for the Channel 6 Easter egg hunt didn't show.
I don't blame him.
But, Chief, all those children are going to be disappointed if there's no Easter Bunny.
Oh, I've got to find somebody.
New outfit, April? Ha ha! Love the ears.
Wait, Vernon! Forget it, April.
The answer is no.
But think of the children.
I am not gonna hop around Central Park in a bunny suit, handing out Easter eggs.
A man in my position can't afford to look undignified.
Help! [crash] Ooh! Ahh! Ow! Whoa! [giggling] You're right, Vernon.
Your position is undignified enough as it is.
Mommy, look! There are two Easter Bunnies! Can I have an egg, Mr.
Bunny? Can I, huh? Can I? Ah, get away, kid.
You bother me.
Hey, why don't you goons pick on somebody your own size? Sure.
Wai-ai-ai-ait! Don't hurt me! Well, hey, that Docilizer really works.
Let's go turn everybody at Channel 6 into a bunch of scaredycats.
Uh, are they g-g-gone? What happened to you, mister? Uh, I don't know.
But you don't happen to have any, uh, carrots in there, do you? Here's some more eggs for your Easter egg hunt.
They're not cooked yet.
Thanks, Mildred.
We'll boil them later.
Easter greetings, everybody! Wow.
You've got two Easter Bunnies, April.
Did they scrape the bottom of the rabbit pen for these two! It's Rocksteady and Bebop! Aah! Aw, gee, these disguises don't fool nobody.
I've got to warn the Turtles.
That automatic Easter egg machine sure got the job done fast.
Yeah, once we got Michelangelo away from it.
Now we have to get these eggs to Channel 6.
[skidding] Preferably unscrambled.
[beeping] Donatello here.
What's up, April? Rocksteady and Bebop are here, and they've got some kind of ray device.
We'll be right there.
Step on it, Leonardo.
[Raphael] Oh, there go the eggs.
Peekaboo! We see you! Ha ha ha ha! No! I--I feel so strange.
W-What's happening to me? I--I feel strange, too, f-fr-frightened.
Ohhwhy, I even frighten myself.
What's going on here? Who invited you into the newsroom? We invited ourselves.
Ohhreally? Well, that's just super.
Okay by me.
Ha ha ha ha! That wonderful thing works! I can't wait to see the entire world turned into timid rabbitlike creatures.
Think of it: my own petting zoo.
Ha ha ha ha ha! [quivering] Oh, look! It's the Easter mutants! [screaming] What have you done to our friends? Wow.
Th-Th-The Ninja Turtles.
The Turtles? Let's zap 'em.
Ha ha ha! What a trick: turning turtles timid.
Ha ha ha ha! Hey! No! Watch it with that thing! [quivering] What is that ray? I don't know, but I don't feel anything.
Hey, Krang, we got them Turtles docilized.
No, you don't, you idiot! The Docilizer doesn't work on mutants! Uh-oh.
Now what, guys? Now this! Ohh, no! Put me down! Drop your weapons, Turtles, or the wimp gets hurt.
All right.
Just let Vernon go.
Help! Get me out of here! Now it's your turn, shell-backs.
[ring] Yeah, boss? You've done your job.
Get out of there! Aw, but, boss, we was gonna have some fun with the Turtles.
I'm the only one who gets to have fun.
Get out now! Oh, boy.
Someday we're gonna have our own show.
Then we'll be the boss of Shredder.
They're getting away! Never mind.
We've got bigger things to worry about.
[quivering] [Rocksteady] Ooh-ooh! Let's go zap some more people and scare 'em, Bebop! Uh, yeah.
Ha ha--[snort] Ain't this the life, though? My portable spectrascope captured a sample of that ray Rocksteady and Bebop zapped us with.
What is it? I need to get this sample to my workshop.
Whatever it is, it's making our friends afraid of everything.
Well? Well, I've isolated the Docilizer ray, and the only way to neutralize effects is to use a siranium crystal refractor.
Oh, no problemo, dude.
There's probably one around here somewhere.
Wrong, Michelangelo.
The siranium crystal is so rare, there's not one in our entire dimension.
What about someone else's dimension? Well, I've been looking with my dimensional scanner.
If there's a siranium crystal out there anywhere, we'll find it.
I think we're in luck.
What dimension is that? The sky is falling! The sky is falling! That Chicken Little, what a nut.
Now where are those Three Little Pigs? [squealing] There they go! Come back, or I'll blow all your houses down! [Michelangelo] Holy guacamole! That was The Big Bad Wolf! You've tuned into some fairy tale dimension.
That's where the crystal is, guys.
I've managed to get my portable portal generator going.
I'm going in after that crystal.
Wait, Leonardo, it's dangerous.
This dimension portal is very weak.
I don't know how long I can keep it open.
You might not get back out.
We've got a newsroom full of people acting like timid rabbits, and Krang and Shredder are gonna make even more of 'em.
We have to take the chance.
I'll go with ya.
Say, how do we find this siranium crystal? I'll track it with the spectrascope.
When I find it, I'll contact you on your turtlecom.
Turtle power! The Docilizer worked at Channel 6, Krang.
Now we need to blast all of Earth with it.
Patience, Shredder.
I need control of that microwave tower first.
I'll broadcast a megadose of my Docilizer ray over the entire city.
And for that, we need to break in to the microwave control center to reprogram the computer.
What is the location of this microwave control center? There, right outside the city.
Get Bebop and Rocksteady out of those ridiculous bunny suits and take them with you.
I'm on my way.
And soon, everyone on Earth will be acting like quivering, timid little rabbits.
Keep your eyes open, Raphael.
I've got a feeling anything can happen here.
Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub.
I think the sewers might be safer.
[Boy] Timber! Duck, Raphael! Sorry about that, fellas.
It was time for the beanstalk chopping, every hour on the hour.
Beanstalk? Oh, you must be Jack.
At your service.
Heh heh.
But why do you have to cut the beanstalk every hour? It's for the tourists.
They love it.
Now I know the sewers are safer.
[panting] I got you this time, Tortoise! Now wait just a dang minute here.
No wonder I could never beat you in a race.
There's two of you! Who are you? The name's Hokum Hare, and we don't take kindly to cheating tortoises in these here parts.
You're the hare from The Tortoise and the Hare.
The loser.
That's right, tortoise.
Kick a hare when he's down.
[thumping] What's going on? It's the giant! I thought Jack took care of him.
That's just a fairy tale.
But falling off that beanstalk every hour gets him mighty riled! Oh, man.
Why do I get the feeling we're about to wind up as green globs on this guy's shoe? I think it's time for a tactical turtle retreat.
[beeping] Answer your turtlecom.
I've seen enough of this place.
I hear it, but I can't find it.
Too late.
He already did.
Ha ha ha ha! Uh, finders keepers.
A new toy for my treasure box.
Oh, boy.
[Donatello] Leonardo.
Come in.
Can you hear me? They're not answering.
And the portal is getting weaker by the minute.
Leonardo, Raphael, where are you? Come in! Come in! Come in, Leonardo, Raphael.
Forget it, dude.
They're not answering.
Move that lever on the portable portal generator to full, Michelangelo, and hurry.
It sounds like this thing is about to wipe out.
We've got to chance it.
I've zeroed in on the location of the siranium crystal.
Come on, guys, answer that turtlecom.
There's the giant's castle.
We've got to get that turtlecom back, or we'll never find that crystal.
I ain't letting them turtles out of my sight.
They ain't taking no shortcuts this time.
Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of a-- turtle? Uh-oh.
H-H-H-Hi, there, big fella.
Nice tie.
You're just the person we wanted to see.
Uhhn? Speak for yourself, Raphael.
[quivering] This is April O'Neil-- I don't want to do this-- with an on-the-scene report on the strange ray-- I'd rather be hiding under my desk-- uh, that has turned many of us into-- Oh, my goodness-- timid, frightened people! Aah! As you can see-- Oh, my! this reporter is suffering from the effects of the ray.
Ohh! We done a great job, Bebop! Heh heh.
Look at 'em hiding like big chickens.
Aah! Aah! Ohh! Aah! It's the boss.
Maybe we'll get a promotion for this.
I have a scoop for your audience, Miss O'Neil.
May I? Whatever you want.
Just don't hurt me! Ahem.
Soon Krang will microwave a Docilizer beam down to Earth, and you will all be turned into timid, frightened creatures like Miss O'Neil here.
Microwaves: they aren't just for cooking anymore.
Ha ha ha ha ha! That's one rude dude.
Wait a minute.
Shredder said something about microwaves.
Shred-head said they're not just for cooking anymore.
No, not that.
He said Krang would microwave the Docilizer ray to Earth.
That means he has to use a microwave transmission center.
Look, this is the city's largest microwave tower, and I'll bet he's headed there right now.
Well, come on, dude, let's stop those creepazoids.
We'll bring the portable portal generator with us to stay in contact with Leonardo and Raphael.
But what if our buds can't find that crystal? Oh, as you say, no problemo.
If they don't, the Earth is doomed.
No problemo? Ah, now time to count my treasures.
Fee fi fo fum-- Whoa! Whoa! Playtime! Goody-goody! [Donatello] Hey, guys, where are you? It's Donatello! Maybe he's located that crystal.
We've got to answer it.
Oof! Hey! That's mine.
Finders keepers.
Ah, finally.
You guys sure took your sweet--time! Oh, there's another turtle inside.
Come here, little turtle.
His attention's diverted.
Now's our chance.
Wah-kah-yah! Now to get the turtlecom.
Ya-hah! Hey, what did you-- [sniff] w-what did Ah-choo! Gesundheit! Ah-choo! Ah-choo! Hurry! So where's that crystal, Donatello? Somewhere really close to you.
Well, at least that narrows it down.
This'll give us a head start.
[growling] Now you've made me angry! Timber! Wait! That's the crystal, guys! Grab it! Easier said than done, Donatello.
Got it! Hokum, Hokum, Hokum, hand over the crystal.
We have to take it back to Earth.
I don't know where Earth is, but you ain't leavin' here without me.
This hare's run that gol-dang turtle race for the last time.
Fine, great! Let's go! Fee fi fo fooey! Give me back my shiny stone! We've got to get down faster.
[Jack] Timber! I think we've found your faster way down, Leonardo.
Donatello, we need that portal now! Right, Raphael.
Quick, Michelangelo, switch the generator to Reserve Power.
You got it, amigo.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Next show at 4:00, folks.
We got the crystal? Right here, fella.
Who's the rabbit dude? You can explain later.
We've got to stop Shredder from docilizing the entire world.
Shred-head's going into the microwave transmission center! I hope we're not too late.
One more adjustment, and I can begin broadcasting your Docilizer ray, Krang.
All right, dudes, it's wipeout time! You're too late to stop the Docilizer ray, Turtles.
Guess again, Shred-head! Oof! What does this thing do? No! No! No! Our job here is done, thanks to that stupid rabbit.
Hey! Watch who you're calling stupid.
Oh, no! No! Krang, the portal, hurry! Guess we showed them, fellers.
Now I've got to put that siranium crystal in place to neutralize those Docilizer rays.
Oh, no, no, no, please.
Please don't hurt me.
I'm really very nice once you get to know me.
I really hate those Turtles.
Whoever placed this rare crystal on the tower is responsible for saving the city, and this reporter says we owe them a big vote of thanks.
This is April O'Neil signing off.
Well, Hokum, now what are you gonna do? It's okay, fellas.
I've got a job for him.
[children shouting] The Easter egg hunt is a real success.
Those Easter eggs you decorated are the hit of the day, guys.
I wouldn't say that.
Take a look.
You know, I ain't real fond of turtles, but you fellas sort of changed my mind, and as soon as I've finished being the Easter Bunny, I'll be ready to return to the fairy tale dimension.
Hey, dudes, I've got a tubuloso idea! Let's all go to the fairy tale dimension.
Then we could take turns racing with Hokum! Dudes, it was just an idea.