Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s05e07 Episode Script

9062-007B - Michaelangelo Meets Bugman Again

[theme song.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool, but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power Hurry, compadre.
Relax, Michelangelo.
Came out of sewers.
Scope it out.
My favorite literature.
Comic books! Huh, likes comic books.
Amazing! Mushroom Man? Super Wombat? The Teen Twinkies? How can you read this junk? Junk? Get off the planet, bud.
I don't believe it.
It's not here.
What's not here? The most ultramondo, fantabulouso comic in the entire universe, Bugman! Likes Bugman, unbelievable! Excuse me, mister news vendor dude, but, like, what happened to the new issue of Bugman? Bugman? They don't publish it no more.
What? But it's the greatest comic book of all time! So go complain to the publisher.
Now move along.
This ain't no library! No more Bugman.
What am I going to do with my spare time? Well, there's always the opera.
[laughing.]
At last! I can discover exactly where their lair is.
Come on, Michelangelo, so what if you can't get the comic anymore.
You know the real Bugman.
Whoa, you're right.
I actually met the dude.
He told me how a lab accident fused Brick Bradley's genes with those of some insects.
And how whenever he got cheesed off, he'd turn into a horrendous bug.
I even discovered his secret identity.
Some secret identity-- the whole world knows about it.
Well, that's because some dude spied on him and then put all that stuff in the comic book.
Oh, what a coup.
Soon I'll have precise directions to the Turtle's lair.
I think they wentthis way.
So, if The Adventures of Bugman was such a best-seller, why'd they stop publishing it? Better yet, how come you never heard from him after you saved his life? Face it, Michelangelo, fame just went to his antennae.
Maybe we ought to go check on the dude.
Nah, I'd rather just relax and enjoy a little peace and quiet.
[alarm.]
What is that? It's the new sewer intruder alert system I just installed.
[beeping.]
Someone's heading toward the lair.
We'd better find out who it is before they get too close.
I'll find where those Turtles live no matter what it takes.
Uh-oh.
You! Hold it right there! Hey, what are you doing down here, pal? Nothing.
Oh, yeah? Well, you sure picked a strange place to do it in, pal.
What's this? Also nothing.
He's got plenty of nothing.
These sewers are dangerous.
You shouldn't be down here unless you know what you're doing, like us.
[pipe creaking.]
Time for me to get out of here! Whoa! Well, at least we're all okay.
Oh, no, we're not.
[Leonardo.]
Come on, fellas, lift! Man, where is that little geekazoid? [Donatello.]
I'm afraid he's long gone.
My students, are you hurt? Nah, only our feelings.
I've got the distinct impression that guy was drawing a map to our lair.
We must be on our guard against anyone finding the lair.
But the disappearance of Brick Bradley troubles me more.
You're right, Master Splinter, I have to find out what happened to my compadre Brick.
Okay, the rest of us will scour the sewers and try to find that little twerp.
Oh, sure, give us the glamour jobs.
Good thing I found Brick's address.
I must find out everything about Michelangelo.
[alarm.]
Out of the way, wimp! No, wait, we'll take him as a hostage.
Michelangelo! Save me! Cowabunga! Hey, dude, how'd you know who I was? You! Me? So like, who are you anyway? [Man.]
Jerry Spiegel.
[Michelangelo.]
How come you've been following me and my compadres? Don't go away! Whoa, dudes! Come out with hands up! All right, Spiegel, I'm going to ask you one more time-- Oh, that dude's as slippery as a greasy pepperoni.
Maybe April has the skinny on him.
[Irma.]
Sorry, Michelangelo, but April's out covering a robbery at a genetic engineering lab.
I'll see if the news files have anything on this Spiegel guy.
It says he achieved brief fame as the writer and artist of The Adventures of Bugman comic book.
That little geek did the greatest comic book of all time? But why's he following us? I better find out just why the bug book was cancelled.
It says here that the editor of Bugman Comics is Juliet Schmooze.
Why don't you ask her? Mondo notion, dudette.
[Woman.]
Ah, Miss Schmooze? Someone's calling from the Channel 6 newsroom.
Hmm, could be free publicity.
Julia Schmooze speaking! [Michelangelo.]
Yeah, I want to know why you dudes cancelled Bugman, the most totally epic comic book ever? I agree! Bugman was the most original comic book since Insect Man, until it turned out there really was a Bugman.
You see, the real Bugman slapped us with a lawsuit and we had to cancel the comic.
Holy guacamole.
What's the matter? I think the little dude is planning to do a comic book about us.
But if he tells the world where your lair is, and your favorite pizza place, and how you're friends with me and April-- Exactamundo.
We'll have the whole world down on our shells, not to mention Shredder and Krang.
But why would anyone steal insects, Professor Higginbottom? Here at Designer Genes we produce only the finest custom-designed life forms.
And what was unusual about these missing insects? They're termites.
But thanks to our genetic alteration, they eat metal, concrete, and plastic.
One final question, Professor, wasn't that kind of a stupid idea? What do you mean? If those termites get loose, they could cause panic throughout the city, along with mass destruction.
Well, I suppose they could, but-- This is April O'Neil, happy hour news, signing off.
[phone ringing.]
April here.
April, you're running late! You're due to cover the opening of the Conspicuous Consumption shopping mall in ten minutes.
I'm on my way, Chief! They spurned me, but I'll show them.
I stole you termites for a very specific purpose.
The hypno ray will put you under my command.
Perfect! Now, my pets, go out and destroy.
Soon, the whole world will feel the deadly slap of The Swatter! Yes, my pets, bug off! Ha ha ha ha! Destroy for your master, The Swatter! Now to commence the next phase of my master plan.
Being a bad guy is such fun.
Brick Bradley? Why, I threw that troublemaker out months ago.
The insect enemy of injustice, a troublemaker? Sure, the place was swarmed with comic book fans day and night.
But the dude is the idol of millions.
Oh, who cares? At least now I've got some peace and quiet around here.
Oh, here, he left me this forwarding address.
Man, this is turning into a wild bug chase.
[April.]
The Conspicuous Consumption shopping mall is empty now, but in an hour it will be filled with hordes of shoppers.
The owners couldn't have asked for a more perfect day.
The sun is shining, the skies are clear, and the only cloud on the horizon seems to be headed straight toward us! What in the world? Ladies and gentlemen, could these be the genetically-bred super termites that were stolen from Designer Genes? Where are you going? This is big news! Make that bad news.
Well, that was a big waste of time.
Yeah, there wasn't a trace of that little weirdo.
I wonder what he's up to anyway.
Let's see what's on the news.
This is April O'Neil, live from the Conspicuous Consumption mall, which is being eaten by a bunch of super termites.
Uh-oh.
Do you know what this means? Oh, no, let me guess.
We're about to go shopping.
All right, you insects, this building now belongs to The Swatter! Yes, go on, get! Shoo-fly, shoo! Now, to the roof.
Kazam! Ha ha! With this transmitting equipment, I can complete my trap for those Turtles.
I've got to get out of here.
[buzzing.]
Oh, no! I've heard of being bugged, but this is ridiculous.
Got you! Leonardo.
Boy, this place sure is falling apart.
April, I scoped out your crisis at a TV store and came most pronto.
Where have you been? You know that little dweeb who's been following us? Well, he followed Brick Bradley, too.
He put all of Brick's secrets in a comic book and he's going to do the same thing to us if we don't stop him.
Uh, guys, we have a bigger problem at the moment.
Right, termites! What are we going to do? There isn't enough bug spray in the entire city to stop them.
My bud Brick Bradley could stop him.
With his super-insect powers, he'd make that whole swarm buzz off.
Forget it, Michelangelo.
Your bug man has bugged out.
What the heck? [Swatter.]
Attention.
I am The Swatter! The Swatter? Just what this city needs, another super villain.
[Swatter.]
You have seen what damage my little pets can do.
I want the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
You will meet me at the top of the Entire State Building in one hour, or else my faithful little bugs will chew this city apart.
Michelangelo, now you have to find Brick Bradley.
Why? We can shellac this jerk easily.
Him, yes, but we need Bugman to stop those termites.
I have Brick's new address.
Well, go find him.
The rest of us will try to find out what this Swatter character is up to.
And I'm going to follow those termites.
Happyvale Meditation Center.
Omnimoney Whoa, Brick, old compadre! Michelangelo, peace, my brother.
Like, dude, what are you doing in this place? After people found out I was Bugman, I was hounded by fans, reporters, would-be super villains, but thanks to the meditation techniques I've learned here, I've found inner peace.
I can completely control my anger.
I don't ever have to worry about turning into Bugman again.
Omniomni Oh, man, did he ever pick a bad time to find inner peace.
Thanks to the inner tranquility I've gained here, I never get angry, and I'll never have to worry about becoming Bugman again.
That's, like, totally bodacious, Brick, but us Turtles have a serious problem.
Sorry, I'm feeling far too serene to worry about it.
But the whole city's in danger.
Hey, that's the city's karma, man.
OmayLarry CurlyShirley Sorry, dude, but you are coming with me.
I am one with the universe.
Nothing can make me turn into Bugman.
But you have to turn into Bugman.
And if that means making you angry, dude, I intend to seriously honk you off.
[Vernon.]
I don't believe it.
What's going on? April just phoned.
It's a swarm of super termites! She's out in the field covering it! Oh, I just hope they don't cover her.
[Vernon.]
Is it just me, or do they seem to be heading this way? They're heading this way.
Then I'm heading that way.
Where are those miserable Turtles? I can't wait all day for this! The wait is over, Swatter! At last.
Exactly what is so amusing? [Raphael.]
What are you supposed to be, a cheap imitation of Shredder? Wait until old Shred Head finds out you ripped off his costume.
I'll teach you to laugh at me! You are about to be swatted by The Swatter! [Michelangelo.]
Come on, Brick, you just got to get angry and turn into Bugman.
The city's on the brink of total disaster.
[Brick.]
The city must take responsibility for its own space, man.
But those bugs are trashing entire buildings.
I cannot be concerned with material things.
I've got to make this dude mad.
You call yourself a hero? you're nothing but a wimped-out crumb.
Your insults don't bother me.
I've found true tranquility.
Hey, who's supposed to be getting ticked off here, him or me? Hiyah! I can see this calls for some serious bug tactics.
Come on, Turtles! Oh, good tactic, Swatter, hit us with a sheet.
Eww! Yuck! What the heck is thisstuff? Now, you're trapped by my super fly paper! But where's Michelangelo? And where's that Bugman? Maybe they got stuck someplace.
They better show up.
In the mean time, I have a few questions for you.
Like what? Well, like, who are your favorite rock stars? What's your favorite thing to put on pizza? Tell me everything about you! A villain we can handle, but a fan? Look! [loud buzzing.]
Say, Brick, old amigo, didn't you have kind of a thing for April O'Neil? April? Yes, a truly evolved young woman.
I thought she and I might be soul mates.
Well, I got news for you, dude, that's where she works, and if those little motor mouths chow that building down, you can kiss her good-bye.
What? Those nasty insects threatening my would-be soul mate? All right! He's getting bummed out.
It makes me so mad to think about it! A poor, sweet, innocent flower like April menaced by a bunch of wretched bugs! Brick, is that you? Oh, hi, April.
Those filthy, horrible bugs! Poor April! April? Oh, man, talk about rotten timing.
What a relief.
I thought you were in danger.
The whole city is in danger, Brick.
What are you doing in that stupid get-up? What do you mean stupid? Well, frankly, you look like a pile of unwashed sheets.
These are the robes of one who has found true tranquility! You don't sound very tranquil to me.
Oh, yeah? It so happens, I've spent months practicing inner peace.
Is that why you're turning red in the face? I'll have you know, I'm a very peaceful person! All right, April, you did it! You made him mad! Bugman lives again! All right, dude! Now, get rid of those termites! Hear me, fellow insects, leave this place.
Go back to where you came from, and never harm anyone again! Bodacious, now let's go swat The Swatter.
What's your favorite vacation hideaway? If you could be a tree, what kind would you be? Who's the most dangerous super villain you ever fought? I don't know, but you are easily the most annoying.
Now don't get fresh with me, Turtle.
I want to know everything about you, do you hear? Everything! All right, Swatter, prepare to be bugged.
Bugman! I've been waiting a long time for this.
Hang on, compadres.
I'll cut you loose! Oh, you infernal insect! My bug zapper rays will clip your wings.
Come on, get me loose before I go buggy.
These rays don't sting as much as I will.
This will exterminate you, roach.
Bug spray! Thanks, Donatello! Uh-oh.
[Turtles.]
Turtle power! All right, bug brain, just what are you after anyway? And why are you dressed up like a cheap rip-off of Shredder? Bugman, you may do the honors.
[sirens wailing.]
[All.]
Jerry Spiegel? All right, nerd noggin, spill it! I had to learn everything about you guys to do my new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle comic book.
Wouldn't it have been easier just to think up an original idea? Original idea? What's that? I've never had an original idea in my life.
Well, you'll have plenty of time to think some upin jail.
[Brick.]
Thanks to you Turtles, I can find a new secret identity and live a normal life again.
And we won't have to worry about the whole city knowing where we live.
So long, green friends.
If you ever need help fighting crime, you can count onBugman! Can you imagine anyone publishing a comic book about us? Aw, man, that has got to be the dumbest idea I've ever heard.
You're right, dude, the whole concept is mondo bizarro.
Come on, admit it, dudes.
You read it, too.
[theme.]

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