Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s06e13 Episode Script

[theme.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power Ah! Anchovies and bananas! I can't wait any longer! I want that pizza! Hold it, Raphael.
We gotta wait for Michelangelo.
Yeah.
He should be back from the pet shop any minute.
Oh, sure, if they haven't painted a palm tree on his shell and sold him to a tourist from Toledo.
How long can it take to pick out a goldfish or-- or maybe a little kitten? Well, he's looking for a pet that matches his personality.
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Rawk! Rawk! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Ahkk! Looks like he found one.
Well, dudes, what do you think of Clyde? Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Rawk! Rawk! Well, he sure knows how to make an entrance.
Swell.
Now let's see him make an exit.
Hoo! Hoo! Ahh! Awk! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Wah! Wah! Wah! Michelangelo, tell us you didn't buy this hairy horror.
Oh, no way, compadres.
I took him on approval from Ralph's Rent A Pet.
Well, the votes are in.
We disapprove! We disapprove! We disapprove! [continues chittering.]
[splat.]
Huhh! What the-- Oh, I forgot to tell you.
Clyde hates anchovies.
That does it.
That chimp goes back to the pet shop! Raphael's right.
The lair's not big enough for us and that monkey.
Come on, Clyde, old bud.
Let's have a banana and spilt.
[chittering.]
[horn honks.]
You wanted to see me, Chief? Right, April.
They're releasing Mugsy McGuffin from the State Prison today.
The thief who stole the famous Galuby Ruby? That's the guy.
I want you to get over there and interview him.
Try to find out where he hid it.
But if he wouldn't tell the police, what makes you think he'll tell me? Because you're a woman, something he hasn't seen in 15 years.
Hmm.
A chance to scoop April O'Neil on her own story.
But would I sink to a slimy trick like that? You bet I would.
State Prison, here I come.
[motor starting.]
Correction.
Here we come.
Today's the big day! After 15 years in the slammer, the boss is finally coming home.
Boy, has his mail piled up.
Piled up! Awk! Piled up! Will you shut up, you birdbrain? Shut up, birdbrain.
of your nagging! If you didn't belong to Mugsy, I'd wring your neck! Rawwwkk! Ahah ah-choo! Oh, no! Mugsy's gonna wring my neck! Ha ha ha ha ha! Wring your neck! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Wring your neck! Aahh! [whistles.]
You know, I feel sorry for Michelangelo having to return that monkey.
Yeah? Well, I feel sorrier for us having to clean up the mess it made.
April O'Neil here, outside the State Prison.
Hold it, guys.
It's April.
We're awaiting the release of the notorious Mugsy McGuffin after 15 long years.
[April.]
And there's Mugsy now.
Good luck, Mugsy.
Keep your nose clean.
Inquiring minds want to know, Mugsy.
Where did you hide The Galuby Ruby? Beat it, sister! No interviews! Mr.
Mugsy, how about a big smile? And definitely no pictures! Ooh! Vernon! It serves you right for trying to steal my story! Oh, now, April, let's talk it over.
Lunch is on me.
[chuckling.]
Yeah.
I can see that.
Goodness! You certainly made a mess of this bird.
How did this happen? Uh, I spilled some paint on the stupid pest.
Stupid pest! Rawk! Stupid pest! No more questions! Just clean him off! Uh, y-- All right.
If you insist.
I'll be back in a half an hour, so make it snappy! Sappy! Sappy! Ha ha ha ha ha ha! Rawk! Yeah, here we are, fella.
All cleaned up.
Uh, sorry, man.
This dude just isn't working out.
I'd like to have my deposit back.
Uh, sorry.
No cash refunds.
But you can trade him for another pet.
Well, yeah? Like what kind of pet? Well, um, like this, uh, rare, uh, one-of-a-kind parrot.
One-of-a-kind? Hmm? Oh.
I meant two-of-a-kind.
Well, gee.
He is kinda cute.
And smart, too.
And smart, too! Rawk! Whoa! All right! You got yourself a deal! Come on, little dude.
I got some friends I want you to meet.
Okay.
Did you clean him up? Here he is.
I even shined up his beak.
Yeah, you shoulda put a muzzle on him.
Hmm.
Come to think of it, I wonder if I gave him the right one.
[door closes.]
Huh.
Oh, well.
What's the difference? A parrot is a parrot.
It's the boss.
It's the boss! I wonder if he's changed any.
Welcome back, boss! Ahem.
On behalf-- Outta my way! Nope.
He hasn't changed a bit.
Polly, baby, come to papa! Hey! It ain't here! W-What ain't here, boss? The key, you nitwit! The key to the vault where I stashed the Galuby Ruby! I kept it around his neck.
Rawk! Rawk! Hey! This ain't Polly! Are you trying to pull a fast one on me? Where's my bird? Uh, I'll get him back, boss.
I promise.
I took him to be dry cleaned, and he musta got switched with this other bird.
I'm gonna have you dry cleaned if we don't find that key! Aaah Yo, compadres! Check out our new roommate! A parrot? Yeah.
The perfect house pet.
He's clean, obedient, and he doesn't talk back.
Talk back! Talk back! Rawk! [whistles.]
And I got the perfect name for him: Ditto.
Ditto! Ditto! See? I think he likes it! Well, I guess a parrot can't do too much damage.
Rawk! [crunch.]
Woowww! [clattering.]
Rawk! Rawk! Rawk! Wait! Come back, little Ditto! Uh, uh, so I-- I-- I guess I mixed up the two parrots.
It's easy to do.
Uh, they all look alike, you know.
Uh, please don't hurt me, M-Mr.
Mugsy.
Quit blubberin' and tell me who you sold it to! I-- I-- I don't know his name.
Uh, some weird-looking fellow with-- with a green face.
A green face, huh? Well, it's gonna be black and blue when I get through with him.
Come on, Boris.
We gotta find that bird! Raise your hands if you feel this was a big mistake.
Big mistake! Rawk! Big mistake! [whistles.]
[car horn honks.]
There it is-- the Bering Arms Hotel.
That's where the Galuby Ruby is stashed.
Wow, outstanding! So, why don't we go in and grab it, boss? Because it's locked inside a huge vault, which I can't open without that key.
Which is around the neck of that parrot you let get away! Better clear out, guys.
We're gonna blow up this building today.
[gasp.]
Did you hear that? We've gotta find that parrot, and fast.
If they tear down this building, the Galuby Ruby is a goner! [tires screeching.]
Look, boss.
It's the guy who swiped your parrot.
How do you know? Well, don't you remember? He said the guy had a green face! Okay, you parrot poacher.
Hand over that bird.
Oh? What bird? Don't play dumb with me, you big goon.
Big goon, am I? Uh, "MeanGreen [mispronouncing.]
"Gian-- Gi-- Giant.
" In the flesh, wimpazoid.
Whoaohh! Ohh! Now it's your turn, shorty.
Yeoww! Whoa! Oomp! Ooh.
Ahhhh! [birds tweeting.]
Hey, boss, I know we're looking for a parrot, but would one of these birdies do? Grrrrr! Remember, Michelangelo, one more incident like that, and Ditto is ancient history.
Right.
We've got better things to do than keep on fixing the place after your pets destroy it.
Chill, dudes.
Ditto knows the house rules.
Don't you, little fella? Little fella.
Little fella.
Rawk! Whoa.
What do we have here? What is it? Major discovery! Look! It's some kind of key.
Some kind of key.
Rawk! I wonder what it's for.
Hmm.
That's a very unusual shape.
You know, my guess is it's quite rare.
Let me run it through my key analyzer spectroscope and see what comes up.
Oh, don't get your feathers in an uproar.
Donatello will give it back.
Give it back.
[whistles.]
Give it back.
That's what I've always dreamed of-- to hear Michelangelo in stereo.
April O'Neil here.
O'Neil, this is Mugsy McGuffin.
Do you still want that interview? Do I? Then get over to my hideout, pronto.
411 Front Street.
The third abandoned warehouse on the right.
I'm on my way! I can't believe it! I'm getting the inside story on the notorious Mugsy McGuffin! Going up? No! Wait! [ding ding ding.]
[chuckles.]
I really hate pulling those nasty tricks on April.
Not! [ding.]
Oh, that Vernon! When I get my hand on him All right, Raphael.
Your move.
Remember you asked for it.
Eeeeyee yahh! Whoa! Ow! Okay.
Had enough? Hey, dudes, anybody seen my little birdie bud? Not since he ate my spare bandana.
And my arm bands.
Well, I hope he left room for lunch.
I made him a snail and earthworm pizza, hold the birdseed.
Well, there goes my appetite.
Rawk! Rawk! Ditto, dude! [burp.]
Rawk.
That blasted bird ate all my stuff! My joke books.
My Green Avenger costume.
[gasp.]
Even my autographed photo of Shecky Schtick! And worst of all, he's got a big mouth! Rawk! Big mouth! Big mouth! Ha ha ha ha! That's it.
I am gonna baste that bird! Cool off, Raphael.
Yeah.
Besides, Ditto's right.
You do have a big mouth.
Take that back, surfer breath! Make me, mondo mouth! Hey, hold on, guys.
You're acting like a couple of teenagers.
Could it be because we are teenagers? Michelangelo, you're just gonna have to take the parrot back.
Hey, what's going on, guys? Ditto ate one little foot locker, and now he's gotta go back to the pet shop.
Oh, come on, guys.
What are you getting so upset about? He's just a cute little bird.
Cute little bird.
[whistles.]
Cute little bird.
Uh, w-- uh, wait.
Whe-- W-Where are you going? Birdie, stay out of my laboratory! Oh, no! No! Watch out for my experiment! [crash.]
Uh, ow! Ooh! Ow! Oh! Ow! Ha ha ha! Cute little bird.
Cute little bird.
Whee! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! Aah! Ohh! Uhh! Oh! Quit it! Man overboard! Rawk! Women and children first.
[whistles.]
You know the guys are right.
That parrot is a disaster area with feathers! Get him outta here! [sniffles.]
I'm afraid we're outnumbered, Ditto, dude.
Looks like it's back to the pet shop for you.
Good-bye, cruel dudes! [Ditto.]
Cruel dudes! Here we are-- Yoo-hoo! Mr.
Mugsy! Say "Cheese it, the cops.
" Huh? Who are you? I'm Vernon Fenwick, Channel 6 News, ace investigative reporter.
Won't you tell our viewing audience where you hid the Galuby Ruby? An exclusive like that would do wonders for my career.
Here's what I think of your career! Ha ha ha! That's a good one, boss.
Really.
That's not very nice.
It figures.
I'm not very nice.
Ha ha! That's even better! Ha ha! Wait a minute! Aren't you the same jerk who tried to take my picture when they sprung me from the prison? Oh, who, me? Oh, uh, no.
That-- That-- Oh, that was a Vernon Fenwick look-alike who goes around pretending that he's me.
In that case, I'm gonna hurt you so bad that he's sure to quit doing it.
Boris, do to this guy's body what I just did to his camera.
With the greatest of pleasure, boss.
Oh! Oh, no! Please.
Please don't hurt me.
Ohhh! Ohh! [vehicle approaching.]
I'm warning you! Lay one finger on Vernon, and the entire city will be an eyewitness! You heard the lady! Drop him! Uhh! Ouch.
What was I thinkin'? It must've been the stress over the loss of my Polly.
Now, let's get down to business, Mugsy.
What did you want to swee me about? My parrot.
He flew the coupe.
[sniffles.]
I sure miss that little guy.
Here, Vernon.
Keep shooting.
We're on a live feed.
You see, faithful little Polly's waited all these years for me to get out of stir, and now he's gone and disappeared.
[sniffles.]
Oh, you poor misunderstood person.
Please, everyone [sniffling.]
keep an eye out for my cute little Polly.
[loud blowing.]
[weeping.]
If anyone out there should see Mugsy's bird, contact me, April O'Neil, at Channel 6 News.
[tearfully.]
Here's what the little dickens looks like.
I don't believe it.
That's Ditto, the same bird Michelangelo came back with.
Now, what would a crook like Mugsy McGuffin want with a parrot? Maybe that parrot carries something on it that he wants.
You mean like fleas? Uhno.
Like a key that might unlock the mystery of the Galuby Ruby.
Fellas, we gotta stop Michelangelo before he returns that bird! Big trouble, fellas.
Mugsy McGuffin is after Michelangelo's parrot.
That key around its neck must be conncted with the Galuby Ruby he stole.
I got a plan.
You guys get to that pet shop before Michelangelo returns Ditto while I keep working on that key analyzer spectrascope.
Right.
Come on, Raphael.
To the turtle van! Well, Ditto, dude, we're almost at Ralph's Rent A Pet.
I sure don't want to return you, but I've got no choice.
No choice.
No choice.
Rawk.
[sniffling.]
I'm gonna miss you like crazy.
Like crazy.
[whistles.]
Like crazy.
Please.
I beg you.
Help me reunite with my beloved Polly.
Mugsy McGuffin! Rawk! Mugsy McGuffin! [whistles.]
Once again, here's a picture of him.
That's you! Uh-huh.
You belong to that bad dude? Bad dude.
Bad dude.
I hate to change the subject, but about the Galuby ruby.
Galuby ruby.
[whistles.]
Bering Arms Hotel.
Awk! Bering Arms Hotel.
Wait! Come back, little Ditto! Here it is-- Ralph's Rent A Pet.
I just hope we're in time.
[entrance bell rings.]
Oh, you fellas aren't from the, uh, Save The Turtles group, are you? No.
We're looking for a friend of ours who's returning a parrot.
Sorry.
Haven't seen him.
Uh, thanks.
We'll keep looking.
[panting.]
Bering Arms Hotel.
Bering Arms Hotel.
Rawk.
[whistles.]
Galuby Ruby.
Galuby Ruby.
The little dude wants me to follow him.
Chill out, little dude! I'll be right up! [crash.]
Rawk! Okay.
now, what's all the excitement about? Galuby Ruby! Galuby Ruby! Galuby Ruby? I have no idea what you're squawking about, dude.
What? Oh! Ohhhhh! [crash.]
Rawk! Help! [whistles.]
Help! April, why are you wasting your time on some run-away pet sob story? Well, it's got great human interest, Chief.
Ex-con sobs for lost parrot.
Pictures at 11.
I definitely agree with April.
Well, I don't.
Now, get over to the old Bering Arms Hotel and cover the demolition! Demolition? They're blowing the place up at 4:00.
Explosions.
Boom! Pow! Now, that's what the public wants to see.
I definitely agree with you, chief.
Okay.
The explosives are all hooked up.
Then let's clear out.
They're set to go off in exactly 15 minutes.
[tweet.]
Everybody, clear the area! Now, move it! Well, boy genius, what's the scoop on that key? It opens the lock of a very rare safe located right here in this city at the Bering Arms Hotel.
Well, that must be where Mugsy McGuffin hid the Galuby Ruby! Mugsy McGuffin! Rawk! Galuby Ruby! Rawk! [whistles.]
It's Ditto! He's trying to tell us something! Ditto, where's Michelangelo? Michelangelo! Rawk! Bering Arms Hotel! He must be in some kind of trouble! It looks like Ditto wants us to follow him.
Didn't I see this once in a Lassie episode? Rawk! Rawk! Rawk! Gotcha now, you little stool pigeon.
Rawk! Rawk! It's Mugsy McGuffin! And he's got Ditto! Look, it's April! All you explosion fanatics, set your VCRs! In exactly five minutes, the Bering Arms Hotel will be blown sky-high! Bering Arms Hotel That's where Michelangelo is! Step on it, Boris.
We gotta get to that safe before it's blown up! [tires squealing.]
[tires squealing.]
Okay, now, hand over that key.
Aha! Got it! Look! Mugsy's got the key! Forget the key, we gotta rescue Michelangelo before this building blows up! Which, in true cliffhanger fashion, should happen in exactly two minutes.
[Mugsy.]
Hey, what are you doing? Give that back, you little featherbrain! [gulps.]
Oh, no.
You swallowed it! Hurry, guys, this way! Hold it.
All the floors have collapsed! Where's Michelangelo? Down here, dudes! How do we get him out? The whole place will go up in And there's no way down! Michelangelo, try tossing your grappling hook up to us.
Okay, here goes! [grunting.]
Ugh! Ouch! It's no use.
He can't reach us.
Rawk! Rawk! Thanks, Ditto.
Come on, fellas, this calls for some Turtle Power! Oh! Aw, thanks, compadres! Don't thank us.
Thank Ditto.
Rawk! Rawk! [whistles.]
Rawk! Yeah, can we skip the thank-yous and go straight to the good-byes? [Donatello.]
That's right.
The explosives! Oh, no! [Boris.]
Look, Boss, it's red snow! You idiot! That was my Galuby Ruby! Come along, Mugsy.
We're gonna throw you a welcome back party.
I'll bring the confetti.
[sniffles.]
A million dollars worth.
April O'Neil here at the City Zoo Birdhouse, where Ditto, the hero of today's rescue at the Bering Arms Hotel explosion, has now been relocated.
Cowabunga, dude! Rawk! Polly wanna pizza! That's my Ditto!