Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s06e15 Episode Script

9062-9215 - Mr. Nice Guy

[theme.]
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes in the half shell And they're green Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder attacks These Turtle boys don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be ninja teens He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but rude Gimme a break.
Michelangelo is a party dude Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half shell Turtle power [Leonardo.]
There.
Perfect! Mmm! I'll say.
Hey, Donatello, quit it! That cake is for Raphael's surprise birthday tomorrow! Ha.
Sorry.
My finger lost its head.
Yo, compadres.
Dinner's here! Ah, it's about time! We're starving! Keep your shell on, dude.
Wait'll you see what I got! Ta-da! A side of anchovies to go? No, dude.
They're goldfish! My birthday present for Raphael.
[fish snarling.]
Hmm! Must be past their feeding time, too.
Here, little fishy dudes.
Have some pizza! Huh? [snarling, chomping.]
Uhh! [snarling.]
Whoa! I wonder what got into them! Our dinner, that's what! Oh, no wonder.
These aren't goldfish! They're Siamese fighting fish! And if you don't separate them, you'll end up with a bowl full of sushi.
How come I always get stuck with laundry duty? [whispering.]
Hey, listen! It's Raphael! We gotta hide his birthday cake! In here, dude! Hello, Raphael! You're through with the wash already? Yes! I ran out of detergent! Would you tell me how four guys who don't wear clothes can dirty so much of it? Raphael! No! [squish.]
Oh! Oh! Oh! Now where's that iron? Somebody is always hiding it! Uh, uh, it's in my workshop.
Well, so much for the birthday cake.
Man, I wish Raphael wasn't always so cranky around his birthday.
Hey, Donatello, maybe one of your inventions could put him in a better mood.
Oh, no way.
Remember what happened when I tried my Personality Alterator on Leonardo? Yeah, for sure.
I turned him into a totally uncool dude.
Thanks a lot! Don't mention it! [Burne.]
April, here's your assignment.
You're going to do a special report on the increase in crime in our city.
But, Chief! Crime is on the decrease! Don't confuse the issue with the facts.
It's Sweeps Week! Now get out there and start covering it! Go, go, go.
You're the boss.
[ding.]
Oh, that man is impossible! How can I cover a crime wave if there isn't any? Hey! Wait! Hurry with that door, Max! All right! Hey, you punks! Get away! [cackling.]
Don't worry, lady.
We intend doing just that.
[tires squeal.]
[gasping.]
Those hoodlums won't get away with this! [engine roars.]
Okay.
Now where does Donatello keep that stupid iron? There it is.
Aw, great! Now how on earth do I find which cord belongs to which gadget? Well, this must be it.
[whirring.]
Gracious me! Would you just look at this mess? [laughing.]
Well, busy hands are happy hands! [cheerful humming.]
What's Raphael's big hang-up with birthdays anyway? Maybe the dude's afraid of becoming a Middle-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtle.
Well, whatever it is, I sure wish he'd snap out of his crabby mood.
Hello, fellas! Is this a gorgeous day or what? Oh! Here.
Let me do that.
[singing.]
Oh, oh, and don't you even think about touching those dishes.
I'll do them later.
Which reminds me, when is the last time I took everybody out for pizza? Hey.
What do you say, guys? My treat! No, no.
I'll go get your coats.
Who was that masked turtle? Hi.
Hope we're not too late to make a withdrawal.
Uh, sure.
Help yourselves.
Man, I could hardly wait to wrap my chops around a Vinnie's special pizza.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Now if we could only get Raphael to cooperate.
[brakes screech.]
Now you go straight home, Mrs.
Cat.
Go on.
Go on! [meow.]
And you keep those cute little kitties of yours out of this traffic! What's with Rafael? [cars honking.]
He's turned so sweet and-- bleah-- lovable! Yeah.
He's gone from Mr.
Mean to Mr.
Rogers.
Maybe it's some kind of flu.
Well, whatever it is, I hope it lasts.
I kind of like him this way! [crackling.]
Scope it out, dudes! What's that sound? Someone just broke into the Crosstown Bank! Let's go, Green Machine! Uhthat means you, too, Rafael? What? Oh! Uh right! Hurry up! Time is money! Look! They're using the news van as their getaway car! Well, what are we waiting for? Let's take 'em! What about Rafael? He's covering the back.
Okay.
We got everything.
Hold it right there, punks! Hurry! Get in the van! [tires screech.]
They're getting away! Don't worry! Rafael will stop them! Stop! [brakes screech.]
You forgot these.
Thanks, pal! Don't mention it.
And don't forget to buckle up! [tires squealing.]
Tell me those punks didn't just use my news van to pull off that bank robbery! I've got a bigger surprise for you.
I think Rafael helped them make their getaway.
Drive carefully! Rafael, why did you do that? Oh, just spreading a little niceness.
The world could use more of it.
Rafael, who could you do it? You actually helped those crooks rob the bank! Well, Leonardo, we've got to spread a little sunshine whenever we can.
Look, Rafael, will you cut out this nice guy stuff? We're here to stop bad guys, not help 'em! [sighs.]
Well, I suppose you're right.
Okay, I'll tell ya what.
From now now, no more Mr.
Nice Guy! You mean it? Trust me.
You are now looking at a lean, mean, fighting machine! Grr! Ooh, I'm so mean! Yeah! All right, dude.
Well, now that we've settled that, what if I bake everyone some cookies? Oh, man! Oh, no.
[Donatello.]
Boy, that liver and bubblegum pizza really hit the spot.
[burps.]
Oh! You just can't beat the old classics.
I gotta tell you, I am just thrilled that you fellas let me pick up that check.
You know, this nice guy stuff does have its advantages.
[all.]
Whoa, look out! [Leonardo.]
April's news van.
[Michelangelo.]
It's those bank robbers.
Come on, let's get 'em! How? We're on foot, remember? There's a way, look.
[Michelangelo.]
A sightseeing bus? You know what they say: any port in a storm.
Here we go, folks.
Now remember, no sticking your arms or hands outside the window.
We're after some bank robbers.
Follow that news van! Uh, you forgot to say please.
Ugh, please? Folks, welcome to life in the big city! Now hang on! [all.]
Whoa! Our tour begins with a high-speed car chase, featuring those lovable crime fighters, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.
[Passengers.]
Ooh! Yo, Iggy, there's a bus on our tail! What are we gonna do? Heh heh, we're gonna take in a movie.
They pulled into that drive-in movie.
They mustn't get away! [dramatic.]
They're still on our tail.
[Leonardo.]
We've got 'em! All right! Let's go, Green Machine! And that concludes the turtle portion of our tour.
Enjoy the rest of your stay in our friendly city.
[applause, cheering.]
[panting.]
Iggy, these guys won't quit! [Iggy.]
Give them a taste of the laser blasters.
Out of the way, brat! You big bully! [crying.]
There, there.
What is wrong, little boy? Those guys ruined my popcorn.
Aw, don't you cry, fella.
We can soon fix that.
[roaring.]
[audience yelling.]
[Man.]
Get a move on! Back off, turtles.
We mean business! Time to give these amateurs the hook.
Hey, w-what the-- [grunting.]
Congrats, dudes.
You just broke into the movies! [cheering, whistling.]
I think we lost Raphael.
If only it were that easy.
[chatter.]
[laughing.]
Oh, don't shove, kids.
I brought enough for everyone.
[Leonardo.]
April, thanks for dropping those punks off at the police station.
Yeah, and returning the stolen money to the bank.
That was easy.
The hard part will be explaining to Burne Thompson how the news van got wrecked.
Oh, I'm sure he'll understand.
You see, deep down, he's a really gentle soul [laughing.]
much like myself.
Dudes, we gotta do something.
All this sweetness is giving me cavities! And worse, it's ruining our image as heroic fighters against the forces of evil.
Yeah, there's got to be some way to get Raphael back to being his old, nasty self.
But how? Guys, I think I found the answer.
[Leonardo.]
A psychiatrist? [Donatello.]
Exactly.
He'll get to the bottom of Raphael's problem.
Righteous notion, dude! He's got nothing to lose but his mind.
This is the place.
The Von Shrink Institute of Mental Health.
My goodness, what a really nice place! Hello.
May I help you? Yes, I have an appointment with Dr.
Von Shrink.
My name is Raphael.
Ah, yes, the one who's suffering from over-niceness.
Yes, but I ask you, can anyone really be too nice? Please follow me.
Uh, let me put this delicately.
Ahem.
A-A-Aren't you a robot? Yes, I am X-12.
Well, what a really nice letter, and a nice number, too.
Dr.
Von Shrink employs the latest advances in robotic technology in order to promote state-of-the-art psychoanalysis.
Next patient.
[gasps.]
How wonderfully efficient.
Here we have our shock treatment room.
[shrieking.]
And this is our assertiveness training center.
[zap.]
[growling.]
[all.]
Oh! Oh, what a truly wonderful experience! And this is the office of our founding genius, Dr.
Otto Von Shrink.
Dr.
Von Shrink, this is the patient known as Raphael.
The one they call Mr.
Nice Guy.
It certainly is nice to meet a nice person like you in this really nice place.
Nicely put.
We will start by trying to determine the root of your problem.
X-12, activate the Cranial Regressor.
[beeps.]
Now, this will take you back to your earliest memory of being sickeningly nice.
A Personality Alterator.
So that is the secret.
With a device like that at my disposal, I could make millions! Uh, I mean, cure millions.
You're such a nice person.
All right, X-12, the session is now over.
[beeps.]
Raphael, you must bring me the Personality Alterator so that I can study it further.
I'd be happy to, Doctor.
Can I bring anything else? Uh, a drink? A snack? No, no, just the Personality Alterator.
However, well, maybe a prune Danish would be nice.
Did you hear that, X-12? A Personality Alterator.
Think about it, with a device like that, I can control the personalities of everyone in the city! At last, I shall have my revenge on the Psychiatric Society for humiliating me, Call me a crackpot, will they? [both laughing.]
[Donatello.]
Ugh, these scientific journals certainly pile up.
I'd better turn them in for recycling.
Whoa! Oh! Huh, what's my Personality Alterator doing on the floor? [growling.]
So that's what happened to Raphael.
The Alterator rays turned him into a nice guy! [lips smacking.]
Hi, fellas.
Oh, don't you get up, it's only me.
Hey, dude, how'd your shrink session go? Oh, extremely well.
Dr.
Von Shrink is such a nice person.
Ugh! Oh, I am so sorry, Donatello.
if there was any damage, you feel free to take it out of the piggy bank on my dresser.
Guys, I know what happened to Raphael.
He got zapped by my Personality Alterator, and it turned him nice.
So, in other words, you created a "Nicenstein.
" Nicely put.
But how do we get the old Raphael back? Oh, simple, we zap him with a reverse ray, and he'll be back to his old, cranky, bad-guy-fighting self.
Well, let's do it, dude.
Oh, no! My Personality Alterator is gone! And so is Raphael.
[Von Shrink.]
More soldering wire, Raphael.
With the greatest of pleasure, Doctor.
Have I told you what an honor it is to work with a great benefactor like yourself? Too many times.
Oh, not possible.
A genius like you deserves to be praised to the skies, you, good, good person.
I'm beginning to see why your friends want to change you.
At last, it's ready! Welding this battery pack to the Personality Alterator has made it completely portable.
With it, I can turn every policeman and security guard into a mild-mannered mush.
And while my robots pick this city clean, they'll be too well-mannered to stop them.
But, Doctor-- [chuckles.]
-- uh, I'm a crime fighter! Why are you telling me this? Because you're too nice to do anything about it.
Hmm.
He's right.
[wind blowing.]
Remember, only the most expensive items.
No rhinestones, please.
Hey! What do you think you're doing? At the risk of being obvious, we're stealing jewelry.
Huh? Ooo, what's happening? I-I feel so strange! Don't forget to take some watches! A person can't have enough of them.
I hope you remembered to pick out something for your moms.
Mother's Day is coming up soon! Hold it! Stop right there! Well, let us carry those heavy bars for ya.
Heh heh heh.
And while we're here, would you like us to rotate your tires? That won't be necessary.
The bank guards already did that.
All right.
No, I see.
Thank you! Well? Any luck? I check out the entire sewer.
There's not a sign of Rafael or the Personality Alterator! Von Shrink claims he hasn't seen him all day! I still don't trust that doctor, dude.
Hey, guys! Check this out! This is April O'Neil, at the Museum of Priceless Art, where bandits just made off with the entire collection.
I understand that even though the robbers were unarmed, you let them walk out with every single painting.
Well, I didn't want to hurt their feelings by saying no.
They seemed like such nice fellows.
That's it! Someone is using my Personality Alterator! And the dudes are using it to make everyone nice! But how could they have gotten hold of it? Rafael was the only one who knew about it besides us.
And who would he tell? [All.]
Dr.
Von Shrink! Okay, guys.
All clear.
Hmm.
I wonder which way to Von Shrink's office.
[Leonardo.]
I think we're about to find out.
Whoa! Hey! Isn't that nice, Rafael? Strangers everywhere are donating their valuables to me! And who can blame them? Just thinking about your niceness makes me all warm and fuzzy inside.
Good.
Now go help the robots unload the getaway car.
How could I ever say no to you? That turtle is definitely getting on my nerves.
[alarm.]
Okay, Sigmundo.
Your 50 minutes are up! What the--? Time to hand over that Alterator, Von Shrimp! Did you think it would be that simple? What's happening? It's some kind of force field.
My shell-backed friends, you have the honor of testing my newest invention! The Phobia Chamber! A device to help my patients overcome their greatest fears by facing them.
Dudes, something weird's going on.
Yipes! I-I'll second that! Oh! A pizza? Whoa, Doc Dude! You really blew it this time! Not really.
This pizza eats turtles! [laughing.]
Aah! Well, hi, guys! What a pleasant surprise.
[grunts.]
Rafael! Help us! Dr.
Von Shrink, what's going on? Merely a little therapy.
I'm teaching your friends to face their fears.
Don't believe him, dude! He's really a bad guy! Michelangelo's right! He's been lying to you all along! I hope this works! Hey! What are you doing to my turtle buds? Donatello! You did it! You changed Rafael back! Yeah! And I'm back with a vengeance! [buzzing.]
You traitor! How could you do this? Sorry, Doc.
But my mental health just got healthier.
That's it! Way to go! The therapy isn't over yet! Meet my enforcer robots! They're the same ones I use when you don't pay your bill.
[All.]
Turtles fight with honor! Let a slightly-used ex-Mr.
Nice Guy handle this? Six against one! I like the odds! Oh, no! What's going on? [explosion.]
My loyal robots, blown to pieces! Well, if you think that was something, watch this! W-W-What are you doing? What's happening to me? I feel so-- so nice.
Welcome to the club, Doc.
Gosh.
I certainly hope you can stay for milk and cookies.
Well, one thing's for sure.
The dude's gonna make a model prisoner.
[Turtles.]
Surprise! Yay! Happy Birthday, Rafael! Aw, you guys! I told you not to do this! I hate birthdays! You gotta ride with the tide, dude! Oh, and speaking of tides, Here's a little present for ya.
Oh, swell.
A present I have to feed! Well, here's one that feeds you! A birthday cake? Exactly! Now make a wish, and blow out the candle.
[sighs.]
Okay! Here goes [inhales.]
[groans.]
Bleah! [Rafael.]
Well, what do you know? Ha ha! My wish came true.
That's our Rafael! Closed-Captioning By
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