Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e08 Episode Script

9059-058 - Shredder's New Sword

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team LEONARDO: We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green RAPHAEL: Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines DONATELLO: That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude RAPHAEL: Give me a break.
Michelangelo is a party Dude MICHELANGELO: Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [] [WOLF HOWLING] LEONARDO: Wow.
This is some museum.
SPLINTER: Yes, my students.
The British Museum is one of the finest in the world.
Here you may find displays from every era of English history.
This is a model of Stonehenge.
The early inhabitants of England apparently used it as a kind of calendar.
Try hanging that calendar on your wall.
Master Splinter, can we check out the exhibits on our own? Of course, Leonardo.
Just remember that we must leave by daybreak.
[WOLF HOWLING] King Arthur holding the sword, Excalibur.
With Queen Guinevere and the Knights of the Round Table.
Wow! What an incredible sword.
RAPHAEL: Who's the lady? LEONARDO: That's Queen Guinevere.
RAPHAEL: Wow, she's beautiful.
DONATELLO: And, uh, also imaginary.
You guys are getting all caught up in a fantasy.
I mean, Guinevere, Arthur.
None of them ever existed.
You mean none of these knight dudes are real? Total bummer.
BOTH: Total bummer.
SHREDDER: What's wrong, Krang? Don't bother me, Shredder, I'm trying to adjust this element detector.
This element detector can seek out any metal on Earth.
But at this moment it indicates an impossibly large stockpile of a very rare element, durinium.
Only the smallest amounts of it have ever been found before.
And I know you're going to tell me, and the folks at home, what it does.
KRANG: With that much durinium, I could power the Technodrome forever and conquer the galaxy with what was left over.
Let's see if I can get closer.
[WOLF HOWLING] Incredible.
That must be King Arthur's tomb and the sword, Excalibur.
It's solid durinium.
Rocksteady, Bebop.
Uh, you screamed, boss? Get ready to go to Earth.
We're going to steal a sword.
Why, Shredder, I'm surprised, you actually anticipated my wishes.
SHREDDER: Of course, Krang.
Especially since they're my wishes too.
[FOGHORN BLOWING] LEONARDO: I want my basketball jacket disguise back.
RAPHAEL: Me too.
No way, amigos.
I got these disguises especially for London.
DONATELLO: This is ridiculous.
MICHELANGELO: Exactamundo, dude.
We look so ridiculous that no one would ever figure us for turtles.
Hey, I've got a disguise for you too, Master Splinter.
Ah-ha, I think I will have to pass up this opportunity.
These London sewers are full of history.
I will explore them.
Gosh, London.
Don't you just love it, Irma? English history, English monuments, English tradition.
English men.
Oh, look, the Turtles.
Hi, Turtles.
Hi, guys.
April, Irma.
I don't get it.
How could you tell it was us? Rockers with green hair is one thing, but rockers with green skin? What are you girls doing in London? Vern sent us to cover the Prince's Trust Children's Benefit tonight.
It's the big charity bash at the Royal Albert Hall.
And they're going to have the crown jewels on display too.
Would you guys like to come? Royalty? The crown jewels? We'd love to.
Meet us in the press booth at 9.
Oh, and fellas? LEONARDO: Yes? Get some other disguises.
[SEAGULLS SQUAWKING] We must find the sword, Excalibur.
BEBOP: Uh, gee, boss, I've never seen you so eager to please Krang before.
Do you think I'm doing this for Krang? According to Krang's detector, we only have a few feet to go.
This must be it.
Come on.
The sword, Excalibur.
It is mine! Bow down to me, King Shredder the First.
You gotta be kidding.
He ain't kidding.
The power to rule in my hands.
The world is mine! Uh, boss, what's in it for us? How about knights? Well, if it's all the same to you, I'd rather work days.
No, you shall be my first knights.
I, King Shedder, dub thee Sir Bebop and Sir Rocksteady.
Come, my knights, we have a country to conquer.
[IN MOCK BRITISH ACCENT] After you, Sir Rocksteady.
[IN MOCK BRITISH ACCENT] Oh, no, after you, Sir Bebop.
APRIL: Pretty impressive, hey, guys? [INDISTINCT CHATTERING] RAPHAEL: I know I'm impressed.
I haven't seen this much sparkle since Donatello turtle-waxed his head.
Hey, these English cars sure handle good on stairs.
They smash doors pretty good too.
To the ballroom.
[TIRES SCREECH] Quickly, get the jewels.
It's Shredder.
He's after the crown jewels.
APRIL: Quick, Irma, get this on tape.
I am King Shredder.
I hold Excalibur.
None dare defy me.
[CHANDELIERS JANGLING] Oh, don't feel too bad.
You guys got jewels of your own.
[LAUGHS, SNORTS] King Shredder, huh? Well, I've got something to crown him with.
Even the four of you are no match for the power of Excalibur.
[ALL SHOUTING] [TIRES SCREECH] DONATELLO: After him, fellas! MICHELANGELO: We'll never catch Shred-Head now.
LEONARDO: I think we can put a hole in his plans.
The tires are blown.
I can't control this thing.
LEONARDO: They're on foot.
We've got them now.
BEBOP: The Turtles are right behind us, boss.
Excalibur has the power to stop them.
I will bring those stone lions to life.
[ROARING] MICHELANGELO: Whoa, check it out, amigos.
[LIONS ROARING] RAPHAEL: I don't know where they come from, but I think they're looking for a midnight snack.
And we're it.
[BOTH ROARING] DONATELLO: The lions are made of stone.
MICHELANGELO: So, like, what do we do now, dudes? I don't know about you guys, but I'm gonna make a wish that they turn back into statues.
RAPHAEL: Good plan, Donatello.
[BOTH ROARING] They've been turned into statues.
Say, would you show me how to do this wishing stuff? It wasn't Donatello, it was the strange old dude with the really wigged-out threads who did it.
And he just disappeared.
A magical sword, stone lions coming to life.
We've gotta do some research at the museum.
Oh, great, more culture.
LEONARDO: Shredder must have King Arthur's sword, Excalibur.
It's him, the elderly dude who zapped those lions.
"Merlin, magician to the Court of King Arthur.
" He's only a legendary figure.
[YAWNS] Who awakens me from my sleep? ALL: Whoa.
You really are a magician.
Camelot's finest.
Oh, but my skills are a bit unpracticed after Well-- Well, let's see, where--? Or when, uh, is this? We're in London in the late 20th century.
Then I've been asleep for almost 2000 years.
[SNIFFING] What is that foul smell in the air? Uh, that is the air.
Well, tsk, tsk, tsk, dreadful.
Why if I-- Now I know what woke me.
I was dreaming that Excalibur had been stolen.
I'm afraid it's no dream.
A villain from this time, Shredder, has stolen the sword.
Shredding? What an odd name.
Well, no worse than Winage-tooten-ne-- Dig-a-bol Uh, never mind.
What can Excalibur do? Excalibur's magic is extremely powerful.
In the wrong hands it could cause total chaos.
I will return Excalibur to it's rightful place.
I care nothing for this Shredding.
Good, then let's go.
MERLIN: This is London? What a wonderful place.
And as your guest reporter, I want to thank you for this opportunity to see your wonderful city.
MERLIN: I know that lass.
'Tis the fair maid of Estralot.
But so many of her.
Well, actually, that's called television.
It-- It's a means of communication.
You're better off without it.
APRIL: Hi, guys.
Who's your friend? [MERLIN GASPS] How did you escape from the little boxes, my lady? Oh, uh-- Uh, no problem.
[WHISPERING] Who is this guy? Oh, so sorry, my lady.
My skills are yet a bit, um, rusty.
Allow me to introduce myself, I am Merlin, master wizard and magician of King Arthur's Court.
Is this--? Are you--? Are you for real? We'll explain later, April.
Right now we've gotta find Shredder.
Is Shredder responsible for this? Following the daring theft of the crown jewels, a somewhat unusual series of events this evening has all of London aflutter.
People seemingly from medieval times have begun to appear in such places as the Tube, a local car park, and all over the city.
It's as if the past were intruding itself upon the present.
And now for the cricket scores.
Could Shedder's theft of Excalibur be causing this? I have no doubt.
The sword has caused a time shift.
And I have an idea it's gonna get worse.
If the sword isn't recovered soon, the entire world will be thrown into a temporal black hole.
IRMA: There you are.
I've been looking for you.
APRIL: Is this is the best the car-rental agency could do? It was a sports car when I started out, but before it changed to this classy model, I heard on the car radio that Shredder is robbing the Bank of England.
You girls go back to the hotel.
We'll take care of this.
BEBOP: Uh, I like English banks.
ROCKSTEADY: Yeah, no standing in line.
[TIRES SCREECH] [SWORD CHIMES] Nothing can stop me now.
I have a crown, I have a treasure, what more do I need to be a king? Of course.
I need a queen.
I can't say much for the acceleration, but the gas mileage is fantastic.
Hey, lady.
[SCREAMS] Come, April O'Neil.
You shall be my queen.
There they go.
Total bummer.
They've got April and Irma.
[WHEEZING] I am-- 1900 years-- [COUGHING] Too old for this.
I'll bet Shredder's gone to the Tower of London.
It used to be the King's residence.
SHREDDER: Now nothing will stand in my way of becoming king.
ROCKSTEADY: What about Krang? Krang? Ha! His power is puny.
No power can compare to this.
BEBOP: What's going on? Who are you? They may kneel to me.
Hold it right there, Shredder.
Let April and Irma go.
[FOOTSTEPS BOOMING] MERLIN [GASPS]: The evil black knights.
My magic will dispense of it.
[MEOWS] A kitten? Good.
Now how about a ferocious bunny rabbit? Well, after almost 2000 years, anyone's entitled to be a bit rusty.
It's time to rethink our strategy, fellas.
So, what is our strategy, dude? Personally, I've been thinking about a vacation.
You're going to get a long vacation, shell-back.
Under water.
[ALL SCREAMING] SHREDDER: There isn't much light, but there's enough to see your turtles [LAUGHS] falling to their doom.
No! [ALL SCREAMING] [] LEONARDO: A sunken ship.
If I can get near it I did it.
Now if I could cut these ropes [COUGHING] MERLIN: Oh, thank you, brave mutant tortoises.
Or whatever you are.
It's Teenage Mutant Ninja-- Oh, never mind.
With that sword, Shredder's become too powerful.
We can't stop him from becoming king.
We might.
If we can get to Camelot.
The legendary home of King Arthur.
Well, what is there, Merlin? My book of spells.
With it I can help you stop this Shredding.
But we must hurry.
If he possesses Excalibur for a day and night, nothing can stop him.
MICHELANGELO: Totally awesome.
I've seen better ruins myself.
DONATELLO: The castle's rebuilding itself.
The past is coming to the present.
MERLIN: Now to find my book of spells.
If I can remember where I left it.
Is this what you're looking for? Shredder, give it up.
You can't win.
[LAUGHS] I already have won.
You see? The very powers of the universe are mine.
Do you hear me? Mine! [CACKLES] Shredder is too powerful for us, Merlin.
Can you do anything? Well, of course.
[WIND GUSTING] Am I not the greatest wizard of all time? Uh No, I cannot.
Shredding is too powerful.
What is this? LEONARDO: It's King Arthur.
And Queen Guinevere.
I care nothing for an ex-king.
The sword's power is mine.
But not by right, and so you must lose it.
I need a champion.
You need a champion? No problemo, king dude.
What about us? I'm a champion surfer.
Leonardo here is a champion ninja, Donatello's a champion brain, and Raphael's a champion wise guy.
Strange green creatures.
But my champions you shall be.
MICHELANGELO: Check it out, dudes.
Teenage Medieval Ninja Turtles.
SHREDDER: The black knights shall be my champions.
No, they are not yours.
Your two creatures will be your champions against two of my turtles.
Let the tournament begin.
This is gonna be a snap.
[GROWLS] Huh! Yeah.
For me.
You're gonna get snapped.
[SNARLING] [BOTH GASP] Everything's okay.
Well, come on and fight, Bebop.
No thanks.
So long, chump.
Whoa! [] [SNARLING] [BEBOP SCREAMING] At your service, my liege.
The winner of the first match is Sir Donatello.
Your turn, Rocksteady.
And whatever you do, cheat.
Hey, hold still so I can get you.
No way, dude.
This ain't fair.
RAPHAEL: Hey, nothing in the Journal of Jousting says you gotta use horses.
Surf's up.
Cowabunga! Whoa! Enough of this.
I'm gonna end it now.
[GRUNTS] Hey, that's cheating, dude.
Is there any other way? [CHUCKLING] MICHELANGELO: Yes, playing fair.
[SCREAMING] Hey, get me out of here.
Winner of the second match is Sir Michelangelo.
You have lost on the field of honor, Shredder.
Give up the sword.
I will destroy your champions.
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Your sword against my Excalibur? Gladly.
[BOTH GRUNTING] What the--? No! Excalibur is mine.
Camelot! SHREDDER: Attack.
Destroy them.
Krang, open the portal.
Well, if it isn't His Majesty, King Shredder.
Please, I'll do anything.
My laundry? SHREDDER: Yes! Clean my quarters, give Bebop and Rocksteady a bath? Yes, yes! [] ARTHUR: And you shall always be my green Knights of the Round Table.
[YAWNING] I am now I can go back to sleep.
Wow, what an adventure.
I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life calling Bebop "Sir.
" Ah, the temporal disturbance is over.
The world is back to normal.
It seems like it was a dream.
No, it wasn't a dream.
[SNORING] I'll bet he's dreaming.
Of pizza.