Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e07 Episode Script

9059-057 - The Irish Jig is Up

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team LEONARDO: We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green RAPHAEL: Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines DONATELLO: That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude RAPHAEL: Give me a break.
Michelangelo is a party Dude MICHELANGELO: Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [.]
[.]
DONATELLO: Here we are.
Dublin.
Capital of the Republic of Ireland.
I'm just glad we're in a city.
I was getting a little tired of the Irish countryside.
Really, I shot some tape footage of you guys and you just disappeared in all that green.
I think it is time we explored Dublin on foot.
MICHELANGELO: I've got some bodacious disguises for our tour, compadres.
We'll blend right in.
Great, Michelangelo.
The only place we'd blend in is at a Hawaiian luau.
[DOG BARKING.]
We will begin our lesson on the history of Dublin in this park.
Look at all these statues.
Kind of makes you wish you were a pigeon.
Ireland is a land of magical legends.
One of the most famous is that of St.
Patrick.
It is said he drove all the snakes and reptiles out of Ireland.
Bummer.
Maybe I should have gotten us mammal disguises.
This is all very interesting, guys.
But I'm supposed to do a report on the famous leprechauns of Ireland.
April, leprechauns are just mythical creatures.
I can assure you that there are no such things as little green men.
And you heard that from a big, green turtle.
Hey, how about a quick game of toss the hat? Catch, Donatello! [.]
[.]
KRANG: So those blasted turtles are in Ireland, eh? This will make your assignment even more enjoyable, Shredder.
My assignment? What do you think this is, Krang? A school? If it were you'd be failing.
[CHUCKLES.]
You walked right into that one, boss.
Yeah, that was good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Silence, you numskulls! What is your plan, Krang? Like St.
Patrick, I'm going to drive unwanted elements out of Ireland.
But I am going to drive out the people.
Rock Soldiers! [OVER PA.]
Bring in the Rainbow Trans-Charmer.
The volunteers are ready.
Aw, look at the little guy.
Ain't they cute? Can we eat 'em? KRANG: No, you idiot! They're my test subjects.
Unless you would rather be? Uh, no thanks, Krang.
Yeah, we're lousy at tests.
Get on with it, Krang! Ireland is filled with small, harmless creatures like these.
With my Trans-Charmer I can transform them into monsters.
Uh-uh.
Look out! Success! Once you have flooded Ireland with savage beasts, the citizens will flee and the entire island will be mine.
Yours and mine, Krang! Yours and mine! Of course, Shredder.
Ireland is a community property country.
But first, we'll have to take care of those insufferable turtles! Do as you like.
Bebop, Rocksteady, take the Trans-Charmer and get going.
[.]
Uh, I wanna see them change cute, furry things into monsters again.
But I still wanna eat one.
APRIL: Well, here we are, McGillicuddy Castle.
Built in the 16th century.
DONATELLO: Are you sure this place meets modern building codes? It'll have to do.
Unless you want to be chased all over Dublin by people looking for leprechauns.
You should be used to castles, Donatello.
After all, we were brought up in one.
DONATELLO: Huh? What castle was that? The one at the bottom of our aquarium.
Yuck! What a mess.
The place probably hasn't been cleaned in centuries.
[BIRD CAWING.]
It is of little consequence.
We are to be in Dublin only a few days.
Of course, if any of you gets the urge to clean Uh, not me, sensei.
I never get that urge.
I think I'll check out the upstairs.
Me too.
Besides, why bother? In another 300 years it will be dirty again.
[SHEEP BAAING.]
[ALL GRUNT.]
Ugh.
Krang! You did that on purpose! You've always wanted people to run when they see you, now they'll run when they smell you.
[LAUGHS.]
Bebop, Rocksteady, don't just stand there, herd those sheep to the ray.
Uh, right, boss.
I'll herd 'em, you count 'em.
[SHEEP BAAING.]
[SNARLING.]
Look out! They're stampeding! Ireland: A quiet land of rolling green hills.
Here in the sleepy countryside sheep graze peacefully.
What's that? Oh, no! It's a sheep stampede! And they're coming this way! I'm telling work I want a quiet assignment next time.
Like running with the bulls in Spain! Help! I think I'll catch me some Irish rays.
[RUMBLING.]
What's that noise? What do we get for a correct answer? APRIL: Help! That's April.
And that sounds like a stampede.
Let's boogie, dudes.
Oh! They're gaining on me.
[SNARLING.]
I promise, I'll never eat another lamb chop.
Oh, no! A cliff! [.]
End of the line.
[RUMBLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
Cowabunga! Gotcha, dudette.
Way to go, Michelangelo.
[BAAING.]
I got an idea.
April, give me your coat.
Hey, sheep! This way! Toro! Toro! Come on, sheep! Move! Yeah, get along now, wooly dudes.
All right, move along, there's nothing to see here.
Come on.
It's working! [SNARLING.]
Look! That's what spooked the sheep! And they aren't doing a bad job on me.
What are those things? I don't know, amigos, but they look like sheep with an attitude.
Okay, it's my turn.
[GRUNTS.]
[.]
Yeehaw! Come on, cowboys, let's ride! [APRIL GRUNTS.]
Thanks, Leonardo.
But don't you have anything with doors and air conditioning? [.]
[RUMBLING.]
What's that noise? Ooh, ooh, Bebop's stomach? A drum solo? The turtles! Let's see what the Trans-Charmer does to them.
You take the three turtles on the left, I'll take the one on the right.
No, I want the three on the left and you take the one on the right.
No way.
It's Shredder and the mutants! DONATELLO: Look at that rainbow! I bet that's what transformed these sheep creatures.
And I'll bet he wants to do the same to us.
Try and steer away from that ray.
They're heading for us! Oh, no fair.
We're supposed to be gettin' them.
Stop, you idiots! You're heading into the ray.
[GIGGLING.]
[HIGH-PITCHED VOICE.]
What a funny horn you have.
Oh, look! Pretty flowers.
[HIGH-PITCHED.]
Ooh, let's go eat 'em.
They've turned into cuddly mutants.
How disgusting! I'll deal with them later.
Now I must start the second phase of the plan.
[SHEEP SNARLING.]
What a ride.
I prefer my sheep in the form of seat covers.
Come on, we've gotta get Shredder and-- And-- The mutants? Look! Big, big turtles.
Hey, yo, wanna play? Oh, aren't they just darling? That rainbow ray of Shredder's turned Bebop and Rocksteady into this? Of course.
It's a behavioral-inversion inducer with chromatic delivery system.
Uh, could you try that again? In English.
Well, I'll try.
The rainbow transforms both your personality and appearance into its opposite.
[.]
[GIGGLING.]
Hug! Hug! Tickle! Tickle! How soon can we change them back? We gotta keep track of Shredder.
I'll adjust the scanner in the Turtle Van to pick up the source of that rainbow beam.
Good.
April, could you babysit-- Uh, mutant-sit these two for a while? Sure.
What do you two fellas say to a trip to the zoo? [BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY CHEERING.]
If this turns into one of those warm and fuzzy shows, I'm leaving.
[.]
SHREDDER: Perfect.
A zoo filled with cute, little animals.
Transforming these creatures into monsters will hurl Dublin into chaos! [.]
[SCREECHES.]
[CROWD SCREAMING.]
Run, you fools! You'll have to keep running till you're out of the country.
And then it will be mine to rule.
[LAUGHING.]
Bingo! I've pinpointed where Shredder is using that rainbow device.
It's at-- Oh, no.
He's at the zoo! Totally bogus! April's at the zoo with Bebop and Rocksteady.
Aw, even now I bet they're facing killer koalas and psycho squirrels.
Hang on! [TIRES SQUEALING.]
[CREATURE SCREECHING.]
[TURTLES SHOUTING.]
Come on.
April may be in trouble.
Whoa, look! I really dig petting zoos.
We've gotta find April.
[RUMBLING.]
What is that? [.]
Look out! The rainbow ray.
We're trapped! [SNARLING.]
[.]
[BEAST SNARLING.]
Which is it gonna be, guys? The rainbow or the rabbit? How about both? Follow me.
DONATELLO: Duck! Here comes that ray! [BEAST SNARLING.]
Where's that giant rabbit? There it is, dudes.
About to attack Raphael.
I guess we showed him who's boss.
That rainbow ray is self-inverting.
If you go through it a second time it changes you back.
That's certainly good news.
Shredder plans to cause chaos in Ireland by transforming all the animals.
We've gotta stop him! Let's find April and get out of here.
Yuck! Cut it out! Oh, we're glad to see you've got control of the situation, April.
BOTH: April playing licky-face! April playing licky-face! Let us know when you're done playing licky-face, April.
Get me out of here! Allow me, dudette.
[GROWLING.]
[BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY YELLING.]
[GROWLS.]
Whoa, that little kitty got humongous.
Maybe that lion is a vegetarian.
[GROWLS.]
If it is, it thinks we're carrots.
Help! I w-w-wanna go h-h-home.
Hurry, Michelangelo! Get out of there! Run for it, April! Grab the mutants.
Jump through this hoop, kitty cat.
[GROWLS.]
[GROWLS.]
Clever, Michelangelo.
Clever is my middle name, dudette.
Oh, and I thought it was pizza.
[.]
I picked up traces of the energy from that rainbow device.
Shredder's heading toward the castle.
Master Splinter is there! [.]
SHREDDER: Perfect.
With the turtles inside, I can send the whole castle into Dimension X.
Their new vacation home will become their prison.
[LAUGHING.]
There's no sign of Shredder anywhere.
If Shredder were inside this castle I would know it, my students.
But, Master Splinter, we tracked him here with that transforming ray.
Then perhaps he is using it as a ruse to draw you here.
But why, sensei? [RUMBLING.]
Ask a question, get an answer.
RAPHAEL: What are those things? MICHELANGELO: Whoa, I thought there weren't supposed to be any snakes in Ireland.
DONATELLO: There aren't any snakes.
Those are tentacles from a dimensional portal.
We're about to get a one-way ticket to Dimension X.
That wasn't in my travel plans, amigos.
Cowabunga! Come on, let's boogie out of here.
Michelangelo, watch out! You're heading right into the ray! Oh, no! Look at Michelangelo! That transforming ray really pumped him up.
Somehow I don't think that's what Shredder had in mind.
Whoa! [GRUNTS.]
What's going on? Aah! Let's get it! You know, we'd do go great in the rodeo with all this experience.
Right, if they had categories for mutant-sheep riding and tentacle busting.
[DEEP VOICE.]
Mucho thanks for the bodybuilding, Shred-Head.
No! You were supposed to get small and-- Cute! Like those mutants.
Well, I'm not sorry to disappoint you, dude.
[TRANSMITTER BEEPS.]
Krang, come in! I need more power! Now what's wrong? Just give me more power! Take care of those blasted turtles.
They'll ruin everything! The Technodrome is in danger! Look, you fool! Your turtle friends are on their way to Dimension X.
Give me all the power you've got! Now! A muscle-bound turtle is still just a turtle.
[SHREDDER GRUNTS.]
Whoa! [MICHELANGELO GRUNTS.]
I guess I gotta-- [GRUNTS.]
--hold down the fort.
[BEEPING.]
Shredder, you idiot! What's the holdup? I'm having a meltdown! That idiotic Trans-Charmer of yours has created a monster.
[BEBOP SOBBING.]
I'm scared! Hey, me too.
I w-w-wanna go h-h-home.
APRIL: Whoops.
Too bad they didn't make elevators in the 16th century.
Quickly, April.
Take this way out.
All right.
But I won't like it.
[MICHELANGELO GRUNTS.]
Somebody better shut off that portal pretty quick.
Hey, we're moving pretty fast.
We'll be down in no time, guys.
Uh-oh.
This is what they mean by reaching the end of your rope.
Ha-ha, let's go swimming! Are you crazy? [ALL SHOUTING.]
Last one in's a rotten mutant.
Whee! Whee! Ugh, you little monsters.
Shredder, why isn't there a castle full of turtles here? Awesome.
I'm pulling, uhn, it down.
Krang, the portal is overloaded.
You've used too much power.
Don't you think I know that? [.]
How about some turtle power, Shredder? How about we transform you into a chicken sandwich pizza? Hey, Uncle Shredder, take us home.
Ooh, ooh, buy us ice cream first, Uncle Shredder.
Uncle Shredder? Krang [ON TRANSMITTER.]
: Get back here at once! Sayonara, turtles.
[BEBOP & ROCKSTEADY CRYING.]
SHREDDER: Oh, shut up.
DONATELLO: They're getting away! RAPHAEL: I hope Krang enjoys changing diapers.
KRANG: Shredder, look what you've done! My robot body is damaged! My Technodrome is a wreck! Call your insurance agent.
Ha-ha! Hugs, hugs! Tickle, tickle, tickle.
Shredder, get these disgusting creatures off me! Shredder! [SIGHS.]
The castle looks okay.
Yeah, they built these things to last.
DONATELLO: Hey, I got it working.
We'll head for the zoo and I'll turn the creatures back to normal.
You ready to go back to normal, Michelangelo? Oh, dude, can't I stay this way? I really freaked out old Shred-Head.
No way, Michelangelo.
You're too big for the lair.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
[NORMAL VOICE.]
Ta-da! I may be lean, but I'm still green.
[.]

Previous EpisodeNext Episode