Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e16 Episode Script

9062-9303 - The Legend of Koji

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them to be Ninja teens LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude Give me a break.
Michelangelo Is a party dude Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [] Dishonorable wretches, for your sordid infamy, you must be punished.
[LAUGHS] Even your mighty sword will prove ineffectual against we 20.
[LAUGHS] You are my enemy.
I disapprove of your actions.
[GRUNTS] [ALL SCREAM] [FISTS THUD] [GROANS] Truly we have been reprimanded for our contemptible misdeeds.
[] [SIGHS] Now, that's what I call a movie.
[SIGHS] Now, that's what I call a cheapie.
Oh, come on.
Didn't you see where he disarmed those 20 guys with a single swipe of his sword? [GRUNTS] Yeah, and some help from the special-effects dudes.
Leonardo, that's physically impossible.
Back then, nothing was impossible.
In Ancient Japan, a ninja lived by his wits and his martial-arts skills.
[SIGHS] Those were the days.
Hey, let's talk to Master Splinter.
He's always got a story about the history of the Foot Clan.
Good idea.
I could use a dose of nostalgia.
Master Splinter, what's wrong? [] This isn't one of his usual trances.
Sensei, snap out of it.
[GRUNTS, SCREAMS] LEONARDO: Master, are you okay? I-- I felt a strange sensation.
As if the voices of my ancestors were reaching across the vast sea of history and crying out for help.
[] Perfect.
This ruby is exactly the temporal-focusing crystal I need for my time portal.
At last, I shall be able to travel through time.
Now to destroy Splinter and those accursed turtles once and for all by changing history.
We must make haste.
I sense that something is terribly wrong.
Master, what do you want our ninja cloaks for? There is no time to explain, Donatello.
We must hurry to the Fine Arts Museum.
The Fine Arts Museum? Guys, Master Splinter may have finally stepped off the curb.
[] I wish to see your master, Oroku Sancho You wear the helmet of our master.
That is treason.
Ignorant fools.
[ALL SCREAM] [] Out of my way, cretins.
[ALL SCREAM] [ALL SCREAM] Uh, I-- I'll give you whatever you want, but please do not hurt me.
I am one of your descendants.
Oroku Saki.
I have traveled here from the future to give you power and wealth beyond your wildest dreams.
Wealth and power? Mmm.
Very well.
Give them to me.
In the woods near this castle are two magical relics.
If you will allow me to command your men, Oroku Sancho, I will bring you the artifacts, making you the most powerful warlord in Japan.
Oh, but why do you wish to help me? And why do you wear a copy of my war helmet? You wish to use my men to gain this power for yourself.
Ah, now that I know of these items, I don't need you.
[CACKLES] I can find them for myself.
You fool.
I'm an Oroku too.
I'm on your side.
Oh, please let me out.
I-- I'll give you anything.
It appears I'll have to impersonate my arrogant young ancestor.
I have captured the intruder and locked him in a secret chamber.
Rally your best men, general.
We're heading for the forest.
[WHINNIES] How much longer must I keep wandering in these woods? My sensei told me that if I search this forest, I would find what I need to start my own ninja clan.
I wonder if he wasn't fooling with me.
Hamato Koji, your search is at an end.
Attack! [SOLDIERS SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] DONATELLO: I still don't understand what we're doing here, master.
We have been led to this place, Donatello, by the same psychic call I've felt before.
Yeah, are you sure they weren't dialing a wrong number? LEONARDO: No.
Foot Soldier guard dudes.
Our old enemy Shredder must be nearby.
[] [EXCLAIMS] He blowed up real good.
[FIRES GUN] [GRUNTS] All right! Double-header.
RAPHAEL: Now for old Shred-Head.
Uh, Shred-Head? DONATELLO: If I didn't know any better, I'd say this was some kind of time machine.
In an Egyptian temple? [SCOFFS] That makes a lot of sense.
And it appears Shredder has set the controls to take him back to the year 1583.
That is the year that Hamato Koji founded our Foot Clan.
And I suspect that Shredder means to destroy him before he can do it.
But Shredder's a member of the Foot Clan too.
Why would he want to destroy the guy who started it? My human name was Hamato Yoshi.
Hamato Koji is my direct ancestor.
Then if Shredder destroys him, you will never have been born.
And you four would forever remain ordinary turtles.
Holy guacamole.
Wiped out by a single rewrite of history.
We must go back in time and stop him.
But first we must disguise our unusual appearances.
People were pretty superstitious back in those days.
LEONARDO: Well, I said I could use a dose of nostalgia.
RAPHAEL: Ha! You're about to get it.
Big time.
You know, this isn't really a fair fight.
RAPHAEL: Oh, boy.
Uh, did we show up at a bad time? SPLINTER: Not necessarily.
That is Hamato Koji.
Who are you? We're the cavalry, dude.
Maybe you'd better explain it later.
[ALL GRUNTING] LEONARDO: All right! We make a good little team.
RAPHAEL: Yeah, but they make a good big team.
You and your mysterious friends fight well, Hamato Koji.
But now it is time for you to meet your ancestors.
[] [] Now, Koji, you and your mysterious friends are finished.
LEONARDO: There's too many of 'em.
Quickly, remove your cloaks.
[SOLDIERS GASP] They are tengus.
[TURTLES LAUGHING] SHREDDER: The turtles? It can't be! You fools! Come back! No.
To attack a tengu would bring misfortune on us all.
You wretched reptiles may have followed me here, but you'll never escape from the past without this.
That must be the remote control for the time machine.
We'll never catch up with him.
And we need that device.
All in good time.
First we must make sure that Koji completes his quest.
What manner of creatures are you? And how do you know of my quest? We are from the future.
Koji-sama, I am your descendant, Hamato Yoshi.
Excuse me, but I don't see the family resemblance.
DONATELLO: Oh, well, you see, we were all mutated Forgive me.
"Mutated"? RAPHAEL [CHUCKLING]: Donatello, these people don't even have electric toothbrushes.
How are you gonna explain genetics? [CLEARS THROAT] Let me try.
Koji, we were put under a magical spell.
Ah, I understand.
An evil sorcerer turned you into a rat.
SPLINTER: Uh, something like that, yes.
[] SHREDDER: So these cowardly samurai think the turtles are demons, huh? I'll prove I'm more powerful than any tengu with my anti-gravity ray.
Blast! One of those archers must have hit it.
It'll take hours to repair.
But every minute brings Koji closer to those relics.
He must be stopped.
[CHUCKLES] At least my sniveling ancestor is out of the way.
[KNOCKING ON WALL] SANCHO: Let me out of here! I am lord of this castle! You can't do this to me! [SIGHS] I knew I should never have trusted someone who looks so much like me.
Hire the most ruthless ninja assassins you can find.
Koji and his companions must be destroyed.
KOJI: My sensei told me to seek out the shrine of Shibano-Sama.
There, he said, I would find what I need to establish my own ninja clan.
But surely a supreme ninja such as Shibano-Sama would not leave his shrine out in the open.
We must use our wits to find it.
Well, what are we waiting for, dudes? Let's do some serious searching.
[] SPLINTER: You know, Leonardo, you might want to have a talk with Koji.
What do you mean, Master Splinter? He is the founder of our clan, after all.
He could give you much advice about our fighting style.
I don't like the looks of this.
I do.
They're beautiful.
May I help you lovely ladies? You are so gallant and handsome.
What a pity you must perish! [] ALL: Whoa! [] RAPHAEL: All right, let's teach these "ladies" a lesson.
You know, I don't think we could have picked a worse spot for a sword fight.
[GRUNTS] You must be destroyed! [SCREAMS] Go back.
I can't hold all this weight.
Save yourselves.
Get off the bridge.
I can't hold on [SCREAMS] [] Gotcha, dude.
WOMAN: Honorable Koji, even though we were sent to destroy you, you risked your life to save us.
We renounce our mission.
We are no longer your enemies.
It's fixed.
You are afraid of the four turtles? Yes.
They are demons.
But behold, I am more powerful than any demon.
[ALL GASP] It is true.
He has the power to control demons.
As long as I lead you, you will be safe.
Now, I want every man in this castle to march out with me.
We must stop Koji! Say, Koji, uh, I was wondering if you could help me with something.
After all the help you've given me, of course, honorable turtle.
LEONARDO: Well, I was watching this movie-- I mean, I was reading this story, where this samurai was surrounded.
And he chopped through all the enemies' weapons just by swinging his sword in a circle.
Oh, that's easy.
It's all in the wrist.
Stand back.
I'll show you.
[] MICHELANGELO: Yo, buds, we found a serious shrine here.
According to the inscription, this is the shrine of someone other than Shibano-Sama.
But still I am sorry to say I ran across this shrine three days ago.
I searched every seam but could find nothing unusual about it.
Well, looks like we'll just have to keep searching, fellow dudes.
MAN: Your search is at an end.
In battle, I am invincible.
He can't do that to us.
[] [ALL SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY] On second thought, maybe he can.
I fear this giant's strength may be too much even for the five of us.
No way, Koji.
Leonardo, you and Koji start chopping down that tree.
Come on, help me move that log.
[LOUD RUMBLING] You little fools! Why don't you fight? Because we're busy defeating you.
[LAUGHS] The mighty Koro can never be defeated.
Oh, sure you can.
Just step on the end of that log.
Very well.
I'm not afraid of you.
DONATELLO: Leonardo, let him have it! Whoa! DONATELLO: Boy, what a sucker.
I have been defeated.
I cannot bear the disgrace.
I will retire to a peaceful life.
RAPHAEL: Yeah, you do that.
Fellas, look.
There was a little shrine hidden in that big shrine.
It is the shrine of Shibano-Sama.
I don't believe it.
It is the Nojima blade.
What's that? A legendary sword that can cut through anything.
What's this thing? SPLINTER: It is the Tsunami Box.
The Tsunami Box.
But it's said to contain a power greater than any tidal wave.
No, Koji-sama.
The Tsunami Box must only be opened when its power is needed.
Very well.
KOJI: At last, I can start my own ninja clan.
With these magical relics, men will rally around me.
Start with them.
[] [] My enemies and the relics.
Attack! [ALL SHOUTING] [KOJI GRUNTING] No! Don't! [] MICHELANGELO: Major drag, dudes.
[THUNDER CRASHES] [ROARING] RAPHAEL: Better make that, "Major dragon.
" Whoa.
It's Godzilla's great-granddad.
[ROARING] There are villages in that direction.
I must stop that creature.
SPLINTER: I will come with you, Koji.
RAPHAEL: Okay, so I guess this means that we have to hold these 400 samurai at bay pretty much, huh? Hey, somebody's gotta do it.
[ALL SHOUTING] Destroy the turtles.
Destroy! [] [SANCHO GRUNTS] At last I'm free.
That impostor has stolen my armor.
This is intolerable! I'll show him who's the mightiest warlord.
I hope I can remember how to use these things.
[DRAGON ROARING, PEOPLE SCREAMING] My ninja training is only for fighting men, not monsters.
Even this mystic blade won't get that creature back in this box.
Think, Koji.
What is the one thing a fire-breathing monster would fear? Of course.
And there's an underground spring beneath the street.
[ROARING] I will release you, honorable dragon.
But you must obey me now.
[RUMBLING] [ROARING] Fellow dudes, I think this is adios.
Not necessarily.
When I give the word, everybody duck.
Whoa, Leonardo? You're really not gonna try that maneuver, are you? That only works in the movies.
Duck! [] I don't believe it.
You did it.
It's all in the wrist.
Now just do it about 50 more times and we'll be home free.
[ALL SHOUTING] [CHUCKLING] You're finished, turtles.
SANCHO: Stop! This man is an impostor.
Take him away.
You idiot.
I'm trying to help you.
SANCHO: Destroy the impostor.
Destroy them all! Destroyed with the turtles? It's too ignominious.
Hey, this isn't a big thrill for us, either.
[DRAGON ROARING] [] Hi-ya! Don't just stand there.
Save me! Save me! Listen, all of you.
I am looking for men of valor to join my new clan.
No longer will we serve a cowardly, dishonorable lord like you.
Only the one who rides the dragon is a worthy lord.
[ALL CHEERING] Then join me, and I will teach you the ninjutsu art of the great Shibano-Sama himself.
Together, we will be a beacon of light in these dark times.
Here in the footprint of the dragon, we form our new clan: the Foot Clan.
My beautiful scheme! You wrecked it! [ALL SCREAM] Forget it, Shredder.
You can't beat the four of us.
Uh, perhaps not.
But I can leave you stranded in the past.
The time control.
Where is it? Uh, you mean this thing? [BEEPS] [ALL MUTTER INDISTINCTLY] Please tell me we're in the museum and we didn't accidentally go back to Ancient Egypt.
Oh, we're in the museum, all right.
What more can those miserable turtles do to me? RAPHAEL: Oh, let's see.
How about this? No, no, no.
No! No! No! Like, where's the Shredster? He's gone.
LEONARDO: Master, I'm gonna miss Ancient Japan.
That was the greatest experience of my life.
Those were indeed noble times.
I'll say.
When the martial arts were in full flower.
When the air rang with the sound of clashing swords.
Hey, they didn't have this back then, dude.
Still, maybe it's better to just live in the present.