Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (1987) s07e17 Episode Script

9062-9301 - Convicts from Dimension X

[] Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! They're the world's Most fearsome fighting team We're really hip.
They're heroes In the half-shell And they're green Hey, get a grip.
When the evil Shredder Attacks These Turtle boys Don't cut him no slack Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Splinter taught them To be ninja teens LEONARDO: He's a radical rat.
Leonardo leads Donatello does machines That's a fact, Jack.
Raphael is cool but crude Give me a break.
Michelangelo Is a party dude Party! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Heroes in a half-shell Turtle power! [] LEONARDO: Hey, Donatello, care to join me in the exercise room for a workout? Uh, maybe later, Leonardo.
I'm making some adjustments on the InterDimensional Early Warning system.
Why? Is there something wrong with it? Nothing serious, I just want to do a little fine-tuning.
[] MAN: Oh, what a boring assignment.
Trying to find some interesting characters down here at the docks.
[SCREECHES] [CRIES OUT] This part of town is so creepy.
I just wish we had someone strong and brave to protect us.
I'm here.
That's what I mean.
A slight adjustment to the motion sensor mechanism and voilà.
The InterDimensional Early Warning system is working perfectly.
Noisy little gadget, isn't it? Better safe than sorry, I always say.
Hey, how's a guy supposed to get any sack time with all that racket? Yeah, dudes, we're growing teenage boys, remember? Uh, "turtles," Michelangelo.
Sorry, guys, but vigilance never sleeps.
The portable portal is locked in place.
Now I'm going to get in some ninja practice.
Heh, yeah, you do that.
As long as I'm awake I may as well catch up on my reading.
Not me.
It's late-night sci-fi video time for this dude.
[] GUARD: Keep it moving.
Stay in line.
Eyes straight ahead.
No talking.
We must escape from this fiendish place.
A futile dream.
Escape is impossible.
I will risk it, Skarg.
You take the lead guard.
I'll handle the other.
What? I'll take that.
[SIGHS] That feels so much better.
Quickly, Dementor, head for the escape tunnel.
Blasted! Bars of solid strontium.
I'll handle this.
Excellent, Skarg.
What's that? DEMENTOR: Paralyzing gas.
[BOTH COUGH] Counted on.
That's it, boys.
Nice and easy now.
We'll have you back in your cells in no time.
[LAUGHS] A little solitary confinement should change your minds about trying to escape.
[BOTH GRUNT] It appears the Dregma Brothers were right.
Perhaps these electronic can be deprogrammed.
[GRUNTS] Or perhaps not.
Hyah! Hy-- Whoo.
Hyah! Hyah! Ooh.
All right! Way to go creature dude.
[ALARM BEEPING] Oh, great! Not again.
The Early Warning system.
We've got intruders.
What's going on? Uh, no problem.
Uh, everything's under control.
The portable portal bumped the InterDimensional Early Warning system apparatus which momentarily caused a tear in the dimensional fabric.
I hope none of those ugo Dimension X creatures got through.
We'd better check it out.
[] Skarg, I fear it would take a miracle for us to escape.
[IN UNISON]: Look.
Dementor, it appears our miracle has arrived.
What a ridiculous assignment.
I'll never make a name for myself at this rate.
Vernon, you've already made a name for yourself.
It just can't be said on television.
[CHUCKLES] If only something big would happen.
You and your big mouth.
[BOTH SCREAM] SKARG: What strange landscape is this? We're apparently on a planet in a different dimension.
Mentally multiplying the speed of our travel by the algebraic formula minus the differential I calculate that we are on the planet Earth.
SKARG: Earth.
I have heard of it.
A minor asteroid in an inferior galaxy.
Let us see how technologically advanced these Earth creatures are.
[SKARG AND DEMENTOR LAUGH] DEMENTOR: What truly primitive electronic equipment these creatures are still using.
Prehistoric to say the least.
But, wait.
What have we here? They appear to be weapons of some sort.
Precisely, Skarg.
With our superior strength and intelligence and a few of these weapons we could rule this planet.
How quaint.
A rudimentary thermal liquefier.
With weapons such as these at their command we might need some help in conquering these Earthlings.
Oh, yes.
A few bad men.
For example, the Dregma Brothers.
An ideal choice, Skarg.
But, unfortunately, they are still locked up in the Dimension X penitentiary.
Then we must think of some way to free them and bring them here.
MICHELANGELO: Well, no sign of those Dimension X dudes so far.
Oh, good.
Because our weapons might be useless against them.
What do you mean? Well, those creatures have destructive powers a hundred times more powerful than ours.
I'll say one thing about Donatello he sure knows how to put a damper on a conversation.
VERNON: I still don't understand what happened.
One minute we're crossing a city street and the next minute we're in some kind of prison.
Those jaywalking laws are getting tougher every day.
Now, listen, I'm an important member of the press.
It's time to start throwing my weight around.
[SCREAMS] [GRUNTS] [WHIMPERS] Nice try, Vernon, but you threw it in the wrong direction.
I'm in the midtown area, chief, checking out that inter-dimensional disturbance rumor.
CHIEF [OVER RADIO]: Well, keep on it, April.
This could be something big.
Right, chief.
Looks like I just found my story.
New invaders from another planet.
And they're headed my way.
Oh, no.
[] Oh, no.
It won't start.
What manner of creature is this? This is no time to be afraid, April.
Just do your job.
Obviously, a hostile Earthling and pointing a weapon.
Whoa! I come in peace.
Quit shooting and I'll-- I'll-- I'll take you to our leader.
[] Look, it's April.
Well, am I glad to see you guys.
We've been invaded by extraterrestrials.
MICHELANGELO: These dudes play for keeps.
According to the light force scanalyzer these rampaging creatures are from Dimension X.
Creatures from Dimension X? [LAUGHS] Why however do you suppose they could have gotten here? Hey, nobody's perfect.
[PEOPLE SCREAMING] What was that? Let's find out.
Whoa, gross.
What double-ugly dudes.
ALTOGETHER: Turtle power! More Earthlings, only these are covered with hard shells.
This should soften them up.
Incoming! Funny.
When you need a taxi there's never one around.
Hyah! Oh, dude.
A turtle could get toasted that way.
Look, I opened the inter-dimensional portal that brought them here.
I'm the one who has to send them back.
Oh, an inter-dimensional portal.
Just what we need.
I don't believe it.
Did you scope out that walking-through-the-wall bit.
What a battle.
I've got to get this tape to Channel 6.
[] Hey, no need to thank us.
Gee, we just love doing this stuff.
There got to be a way to get the upper hand on those Dimension X creatures.
Like how? The dude just tossed that taxi like Vinnie tosses a pizza.
Keep working, Donatello.
There must be a way.
Only I don't know what it is yet.
Okay, you two, it's chow time.
You obviously don't realize who I am.
And I obviously don't care.
Now, get in to the mess hall.
Well, at least they're going to feed us.
Well, it's nice to know that prison life isn't all bad.
[VERNON MOANS] Speaking of things that are bad.
I've never seen such revolting looking food in my life.
In that case.
Oh, I just lost my lunch.
And I think I'm about to lose mine.
APRIL: Wait till I get this tape on the air.
We'll scoop all the other stations.
Oh, no.
Not them again.
That infernal creature has returned.
And it still has that weapon.
But not for long.
Oh, no.
Burne is going to kill me.
[] [ALARM BLARING] Someone's crossed the intruder beam.
[ALL SCREAMING] Turtles fight with honor.
[GRUNTS] Call me a sentimental fool but I'm just a sucker for that battle cry.
Oh, meaningless gesture.
Hyah! Huh? [SCREAMS] [ALL GRUNT] Ouch.
Pain and humiliation.
The simplest of force fields should hold these bothersome reptiles.
[GRUNTS] It's no use.
We're trapped.
Skarg, I believe we have located our objective.
Follow me.
A most primordial agglomeration of scientific paraphernalia.
Behold, Dementor.
The inter-dimensional portal.
Now, to triangulate the astral configuration of the acceleration factor DREGMA BROTHER: What an ignominious fate, to be imprisoned forever in solitary confinement.
If Skarg and Dementor found a way out perhaps they will set us free too.
Behold, a portal of some sort.
The Dregma Brothers.
Our inter-dimensional teleportation was successful.
[IN UNISON]: We have been set free.
I suspect this is the work or Skarg and Dementor.
Our old gang is back together again.
This explosive device will ensure that we cannot be sent back to Dimension X.
Set it for five Earth minutes.
That will give us time to escape the area before it's blown to atoms.
You'll never get away with this, dudes.
And how do you intend to stop us? Oh, I don't know.
It just seemed like the right thing to say.
Farewell, shellbacks.
You have been most helpful.
Let us hope the explosive sends you to a better life.
[BOTH LAUGHS] [IN UNISON]: This city will be ours to rule.
If we can make it here, we can make it anywhere! [BOTH LAUGH] Nice going, Donatello.
We're about to be blown to turtle bits.
[] Oh, great work, Donatello.
Now we'll never get out of this force field.
Now, don't give up yet, Raphael.
This just might work.
How did you do that? Uh, I'm not sure.
I saw a guy do it on TV once.
I hate to be a spoilsport but what about that explosive device? Yipes! I nearly forgot.
Only this time no tears in the dimensional fabric, okay? [BEEPING] Oh, I hope I get the right one.
And if you don't? Believe me, you don't want to know.
What are you waiting for? I'm just not sure which wire to pull.
What do you mean? It's the red one! It's always the red one! You're absolutely right.
What are you doing? I said the red wire! The red wire! [BEEPING] It stopped.
But I said to pull the red wire not the blue wire.
I know.
That's why I didn't pull it.
It is always the red wire.
They tried to trick us.
Thanks, Donatello.
Now, we'll track down those Dimension Xer's, while you figure out how to send them back where they came from.
[] How did this happen? I was going about my business when suddenly I'm washing clothes in a prison laundry.
Oh, Vernon, quit complaining.
We've still got this entire load to do.
I've never done anything wrong in my life.
Well, you're doing something wrong right now.
You're using too much soap.
Don't you tell me how to do my laundry, young lady.
I was washing clothes before you were-- [SCREAMS] Vernon? Oh, Vernon.
Vernon, speak to me.
I have nothing further to say on the subject.
[HICCUPS] I had the story of the century on tape and I blew it.
I've just got to find those creatures again or-- Or I'll never be able to face Burne.
You can say that again, sister.
And where in blazes are Vernon and Irma? I sent them out on a story and they're not back yet.
I'm worried.
They can take care of themselves.
You don't need to worry about them.
I mean, I'm worried that I'll have to pay them overtime.
And people think he's hard-hearted.
Well, still no sign of them.
DONATELLO [OVER RADIO]: Let's use logic.
If we were a couple of creatures from Dimension X where would we go? To the armory for some weapons.
[] Guys, am I glad to see you.
Same here, April.
We could use your wheels.
To the National Guard armory.
And step on it.
[IN UNISON]: The National Guard armory.
Repository for Earthling weapons.
[] DEMENTOR: Excellent.
All the armor that's necessary to carry out our mission.
After some Dimension X improvements, of course.
Of course.
Time to use the levitator ray.
My turn.
GUARD: Hip, hop Double time Hip, hop Keep it up Hip, hop I don't know how much longer I can keep doing this.
[PANTING] It's no use.
I can't go on.
Oh, no, the guard.
You're in big trouble now, Vernon.
So what? [BREATHES HEAVILY] He doesn't scare me.
I don't, eh? How's this? [SCREAMS] You see what you can do when you push yourself.
APRIL: It's no use, fellows.
I'm ready to call off the search.
No way, April.
We've got to find them.
The fate of the city depends on it.
What the heck is that? RAPHAEL: Looks like the Gruesome Twosome has turned into the Awesome Foursome.
It's those bothersome creatures again.
Destroy them.
I really must ask the boss for a raise.
April, hit the brakes.
We're going to do the one thing those guys least expect.
What's that? Charge! Hyah! Whoo! [LAUGHS] These puny creatures must be joking.
So how come you dudes aren't laughing? [] Yeah, you're not so tough now, are you? Whoa! Raphael, are you all right? Never mind me.
Get Donatello on the Turtlecom.
I'm already here and waiting.
We're seriously outnumbered here.
We could use a little help! I figured it out.
If you can lure them to the exact spot they entered our universe I might be able to send them back to their own dimension.
Great! Uh, not so great.
If conditions aren't exactly the same it could create the mother of all vortexes.
And? And the entire city could be sucked through to Dimension X.
Well, you sure know how to give a guy hope.
[LASER SHOTS] [] Man, I hate running from a fight.
Chill, dude.
It's all part of the plan.
Come on, guys, around this corner.
Now, up this street.
We've lured them to the exact location where they first appeared.
Are the conditions identical? Check.
The streets are totally deserted.
Then let's do it.
In exactly 30 seconds they'll be sucked through to their own dimension.
Donatello, wait! There's a lady with a dog.
Don't press that button! Oh, it's too late.
The inter-cosmic balance has been thrown off kilter.
We're all about to end up in Dimension X.
There's just one chance.
That levitating ray gun.
[] Gotcha.
I grow tired of this sport.
Farewell, Earthlings.
No! DREGMA BROTHERS: No! Wait! [ALL SCREAMING] All right! We did it! [BOTH SCREAM] Irma, Vernon, where did you come from? It's too painful to talk about.
Well, you might not have anything to say but I certainly do.
We were in this cramped little cell crawling with rats and giant cockroaches.
You should have seen those ugly prisoners.
They fed us this awful food.
They were mean to us and horrible.
And it smelled terrible in there.
[] Nice to see you boys again.
Thanks for dropping in.
And there you have it.
The invasion of the Dimension X convicts, another Channel 6 exclusive.
And there are four fellows in green out there that I owe it all to.
All in days work.
Oh, no.
There's another large tear in the fabric.
Oh, not the inter-dimensional fabric.
No, dudes.
The fabric in my undershorts.
I told you we needed a new washing machine.
[] []