The Act (2019) s01e05 Episode Script

Plan B

1 Your mom is really sick.
Type 2 diabetes can be fatal.
My roommate, she's an Evangelical, and she signed me up for this thing called "ChristianDatingForFree.
" She doesn't even know what sex is.
LACEY: I know Gypsy's not like everyone else, and I would never do anything I'll thank you to stay away from MYRA: In order to obtain a guardianship over your daughter, we would need to convince a judge that she's incapacitated.
GYPSY: She says that if I walk around that I'll get sicker, and I believed her.
NICK: Yeah, I think I do have multiple personalities.
The other one is dark.
His name is Victor.
What were you doing? What are you hiding from me? I'll just get another one.
It's as tight as it can go, sir.
Then I guess you're ready.
Now look at me.
Hello, Victor.
Hello, Candy.
May I have some of Daddy's sweetness? Please, sir? Yes, you may, dear.
[UNZIPPING] Can you feel it? NICK: You're such a good girl, darling.
[GIGGLES] Thanks, Daddy.
[SOFT RUSTLING] Do you think maybe you could look at me, like how we talked about? Eye contact? Why are you stopping? Did I do something wrong? No, it's just, um do you think that Victor could talk to Ruby instead? Um maybe another time for Ruby.
[SIGHS] It's almost two years now and we still haven't touched.
You know, like in real life.
[SIGHS] Well, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
I'm supposed to be getting this promotion thing at my job.
Maybe I could save up and come and visit you.
No, no, she'd never accept you if she knew that we went behind her back.
And I can't get away from her.
I told you that I've tried.
If only you could just meet her, like, normal somehow.
Like Like, what if what if me and her, like, went somewhere together, and then you like, you could I mean, you meet both of us like it was like the first time.
[LAUGHS] I'm always amazed at the smartness of your ideas, babe.
You just tell me when and where, and I'll be whatever man you want me to be.
You would do that for me? You'd come all this way? DEE DEE: Oh, look who woke the sun.
I had the most wonderful dream, Mom.
[GRUNTS] [STAMMERING] We went to Disney World, you and me, and we got to meet Prince Charming in real life.
Well, I mean, it kind of got me thinking Wouldn't it be nice to go on a trip, like we used to do? Oh [GRUNTS] GYPSY: You know, we could we could go to the zoo, maybe.
And, oh, you love those funny little monkeys with the red behinds.
We could go and see them.
DEE DEE: [GROANS SOFTLY] - I just Or maybe we can go see Dr.
He he can change your feeding tube.
Mm-hmm, that sounds great.
DEE DEE: Oh [SIGHS] [LABORED BREATHING] Are you sure you don't want to try the insulin again, Mom? No more insulin.
You could try exercising.
Help your mama down.
- I got to go potty.
- GYPSY: [GRUNTS] Okay, um Oh.
What if we had a friend over for dinner? We could invite Mel.
[STAMMERING] And then we could also wouldn't it be so great to find a new friend to have for dinner? - No.
- Wouldn't it be DEE DEE: No! I said no! Do you have any idea all the things I do to keep a roof over your head? And food in your belly? Huh? Everything that I do, everything I have, I give for you.
Why is it never enough? Gypsy Rose, answer me! It is enough, Mama.
It is.
Oh, what I'm just tired, that's all.
[SHAKY BREATHING] Nobody's gonna ever do more for you than I do.
Are we destined to be meeting soon? [HORN HONKING] [TRUCK ENGINE RUMBLING] Reply soon if you can, dear.
BRIAN: We're gonna do 15.
Uh, 20 for a large, 10 for a small.
Thanks for giving me a shot at this.
It's so much cooler than my old job.
BRIAN: Yeah, man, of course.
You graduated to the kitchen.
We keep the oven closed 'cause it takes a long while to heat up.
And it gets very, very hot.
Guess I'll slide it back on here.
That's it, my man.
Now, one, two, three.
- In she goes.
- [OVEN HISSING] - It's really hot.
- Oh! Oh.
It's all good, bud.
Let's try that other one.
[CLEARS THROAT] I'll get a mop.
[TENSE MUSIC] Hello, welcome to Pizza Peddler.
Two pepperonis? Yeah, we, uh our oven just went down, so, uh, maybe 20, 25 minutes.
Call the Peddler! He delivers! Call the Peddler! He delivers! Call the Peddler! He delivers! [TRUCK HONKING] [MOUSE CLICKS] [BOTH PANTING, GRUNTING] Ruby needed you so bad today.
She needed you to come save her.
[MOANING] Look at look at my bruise, babe.
Look what Ruby's wicked stepmom did to her neck.
[PANTING] NICK: You can't show Victor stuff like that.
He might lose control.
Oh, yeah? And what would he do? What would Victor do? NICK: He'll do violent things to defend you, and to have your body all to himself.
Violent how? He'll kill whoever doesn't respect you and treat you good.
Like Ruby's wicked stepmom? Will you stab her, Daddy? Will you cut her like this? [MOANING] Do you think that you could send me something of Ruby's? Like, maybe the scissors? [LAUGHS] I knew you'd like that, sir.
Would you actually be able to hurt a person like that? Do you mean, like, your mom? Well like, the good side of me would never do anything like that.
But don't ask Victor unless you actually mean it, because he might just do it.
He is a trained assassin.
He basically kills all the time.
But only when he has to.
Like, actual murder is always plan B.
Um I was just playing.
[GUINEA PIG SQUEAKING] DEE DEE: Gypsy, can you get me my sleepy baby pills? Oh, honey.
Oh, honey, how'd you get out of your cage, huh? [MURMURING] Ooh! Aww, you hurt your paw.
Ooh, you got a splinter.
Oh, shh.
Where's your mama? [GUINEA PIG SQUEAKING] I'm your mama now.
Oh, I'm gonna fix you up.
Oh, don't hate me for this.
Don't worry.
Yes, I'll fix that.
I got to hurt you to help you.
I was thinking about what you said.
About what I said.
You deserve to be happy.
Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Oh, there's that new "Cinderella" movie coming out, and I thought maybe we could go see it together.
GYPSY: Really? [LAUGHS] Oh, thank you, Mom.
DEE DEE: Yeah.
[CHUCKLES] GYPSY: Oh, you look so handsome! Just like how I pictured you.
Kind of itchy.
Well, that's just because it's new.
Remind me again why I need to wear this? Well, 'cause it was your idea, silly.
To come visit me and my mom? But that was before we talked about Okay, don't you want to make a good impression? - Yes.
- Okay.
So I booked you a bus ticket to come down to Springfield next Thursday, and the "Cinderella" movie premiers on Friday.
We're going to the 11:00 a.
, and I just I think it's the perfect, perfect opportunity for you to meet her.
But you have to make sure that you get to the theater early because, you know, I really want to spot you in the parking lot before we go in and everything.
And then you can open the door for us, too, like a true gentleman.
We can also pretend like it's our, you know, like, our first time meeting, and yeah, you can say I want you to say, like what can you say? I could just say hello.
[LAUGHING] That's funny.
Well, it has to be something that'll impress her.
- Something - Um Something like like, "No princess should ever open her own door.
" Which I believe 1,000%, by the way.
No princess should ever open her wait.
No, "her own door.
" That part's really important.
NICK: Her own door.
- Yeah.
[OUT OF SYNC] No princess should ever open the door.
Why don't you write it down? Yep.
[DRAMATIC ORCHESTRAL MUSIC] DEE DEE: Almost ready, Gypsybug? Oh.
Oh, what about the dress? [RAMP CLANKS] - DEE DEE: One adult and one youth.
- MAN: What show? DEE DEE: For "Cinderella.
" MAN: Okay, that'll be $12, ma'am.
DEE DEE: Thank you.
Here we go.
GYPSY: Um, Mom? Do you think we could get a Dr.
Pepper to share? As a treat? DEE DEE: No, it's got too much sugar for you.
Yes, ma'am, I just thought it was less sugar than a Coke.
[SNIFFLES] [SIGHS] Um can I can I just get a a cup of water, then? I'm sorry, I'm just feeling thirsty.
- DEE DEE: Hello.
- WOMAN: Hi.
- DEE DEE: Hi.
- WOMAN: What can I get you? DEE DEE: May I have a cup of water, please? Tap will do just fine.
Excuse me? I mean, don't don't you think? DEE DEE: Oh! [LAUGHS] Look, Gypsy! Oh, we got the whole place to ourselves.
- Mm-hmm.
- [SIGHS] Ooh, front row seats.
[LAUGHS] Okay.
[CHAIR SQUEAKS] You're a princess waiting for a princess.
[BOTH LAUGH] TRAILER NARRATOR: In a world that is falling apart [FANFARE] What do you keep looking over your shoulder for? - The screen's up here.
- Mm-hmm.
TRAILER NARRATOR: Their love transcended all.
- ACTOR: What do you want? - ACTRESS: I want you.
TRAILER NARRATOR: Until an ancient evil ACTRESS #2: [CACKLES] DEE DEE: Oh.
Mom? DEE DEE: [GRUNTS] Mom, what are you doing? Where are you going? ACTRESS: You've been lying to me! ACTOR: I didn't want to! Mom, don't you think that was a little rude? Quiet.
I want to watch the previews.
TRAILER NARRATOR: And all hope was lost.
ACTRESS: [SCREAMS] TRAILER NARRATOR: Until ACTOR: Let her go! [CHUCKLES] I want to see that.
TRAILER NARRATOR: Against all odds NICK: Hey.
DEE DEE: Cut it out! Mom, what are you why are we leaving? What are you doing? Mom, no! I liked that spot! I wanted to stay there! Mom! Here.
Mom, what did you do that for? DEE DEE: Shh, I'm trying to watch this.
GYPSY: I can't see good.
I like to sit right up front.
DEE DEE: Well, this time we're sitting further back.
[TENSE MUSIC] TRAILER NARRATOR: This summer, love fights back.
ACTOR: My darling, I won't leave you here forever.
[BIRDS CAWING] TRAILER NARRATOR: And at the edge of the world, they have to hang on.
ACTRESS: But what if I never see him again? I didn't even kiss THEATER SPOKESPERSON: And now enjoy the feature presentation.
[ANIMALS CHATTERING ON SCREEN] I go to go to the bathroom.
- Okay - No, Mom, I can go by myself.
What? Uh Do you want me to go get you another popcorn? Oh, you're so sweet, hon.
No, I'm okay.
GYPSY: Okay, I'll be right back.
Oh, but hurry back, okay? Or you're gonna miss what happen.
GYPSY: Okay.
The bathroom.
Go, go wait.
Wait for me.
Can we please just forget about her for one teeny, tiny second? I just really want to appreciate the handsome, loving man who came all this way to see me.
You are the most beautiful woman that I've ever seen.
You're even more beautiful in real life than you are on Facebook.
[LAUGHS] And I always try to be honest, so I wouldn't lie about a thing like that.
[LAUGHS] I just want to hold you, and touch you, and be the man to give you your first ever kiss.
Now you can kiss me.
ACTRESS: [LAUGHS] Do they treat you well? ACTOR: Better than I deserve, most likely.
And you? ACTRESS: They treat me as well as Oh ACTOR: I'm sorry.
ACTRESS: It's not so very bad.
[GIGGLES] Was it pretty much everything you dreamed it would be? Yes.
Because I dreamed that it would be perfect.
And it actually is.
We don't have much time.
Have you seen a little girl in a wheelchair? Yeah, she went into the bathroom a couple minutes ago.
DEE DEE: Oh [UNZIPPING] Okay, um so just is it Yep.
Ready? [MOANING, PANTING] Ah! Slower, slower, slower.
NICK: Okay, sorry.
You okay? Yeah.
You okay? NICK: Mm-hmm.
- [LAUGHS] Was I? [EXHALES] You were perfect.
[MOVIE CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY] Oh, that was so romantic, wasn't it, Mom? Oh, my gosh, did you enjoy it as much as I did? DEE DEE: Oh, yeah, it was good.
I'm so glad that I wore my princess dress after all.
Can we see another movie soon? DEE DEE: [CHUCKLES] Oh.
No princess should ever open her own door.
Oh, thank you [GASPS] Wait.
Mom, wait.
Um, did you guys enjoy "Cinderella"? What the hell do you care if we enjoyed "Cinderella"? GYPSY: Mom.
- I just, um Who are you? Um well, um Who follows a mom and her sick daughter around a movie theater? You're a creep! What's your name? I want to know, what is your name? Stay away from my daughter! GYPSY: Wait, no, no You you didn't have to yell at him like that.
He could just be a really nice person.
He was why don't we just go back and talk to him and see What? I would never let you talk to someone like that! But we could just see if he was nice or something! DEE DEE: He's not nice! - GYPSY: He could be - DEE DEE: Gypsy! That is what a pedophile looks like.
GYPSY: He could be a new friend.
DEE DEE: No! [DRAMATIC MUSIC] [DOOR CREAKING] [DOOR CLOSES] [TENSE MUSIC] You ever see that boy before? What boy? Oh, um no, no.
I I don't think I've ever met him before.
He seemed nice, but I I don't know where we would have ever met him.
Unless we forgot something.
So probably not.
I'm gonna go change out of my dress.
Blanchard, please? Who is this? NICK: Well, basically, I am the man who is in love with your daughter Gypsy Rose, and I have been for several years now, to be honest with you.
What? Me and Gypsy don't have any secrets from each other.
I'll call the police on you, I swear to God.
I am always going to love Gypsy, and she loves me back.
Also I'm the father of her future children, probably, and there's nothing that you can do about it.
Don't you dare.
NICK: Oh, and furthermore, you don't talk to me that way.
DEE DEE: Who do you think you are [PHONE LINE BEEPS] [DIAL TONE DRONING] GYPSY: Who was that? Oh.
Oh, just someone oh, calling to sell some crap and looking for a sucker.
Be strong.
We will be reunited somehow.
DEE DEE: Gypsy? Come back here.
Yes, mama.
[ZIPPING UP] [RAGGED BREATHING] [SOBBING] [EXHALES SHARPLY] [PANTING] [GRUNTS] [WHEELCHAIR CRASHES] [WEEPING] [DOOR OPENS] [SIGHS] Are you ready for dinner? Are you gonna be a good girl now? [KEYS TAPPING] [PHONE BUZZES] [INTENSE MUSIC] I finally let myself accept that you are my everything.
I will go with you and live our dream.
Are you sure? I am 100,000% in, hon.
I'm ready, truly.
She's never gonna let us be together, she said so.
That's her choice.
She made that.
It will be an act of kindness.
We just have to do it like we said.
Okay, but my good side is still here with me.
You can't ask him or else he'll say no.
You have to ask Victor.
[FOOTSTEPS] Victor will you please kill my mother for me? Because I can't do it myself.
I feel like I'm walking on pins and needles.
[SIGHS] I'm gonna make you your favorite tonight.
Mashed potatoes.
Sounds delicious.
DEE DEE: I make it with real milk.
Oh, I think I drank my water too fast, Mom.
I have to go to the ladies' room, but I'll be right back, okay? Oh, no, wait.
Oh, my feet.
You looking to buy a present? GYPSY: Yeah, actually.
It's, um my dad's birthday is coming up.
- Yeah? - Mm-hmm.
Is he a deer hunter? Same here.
Um, what's the the best knife to use on a really, um a really big deer? CURTIS: Well, let's see.
Me personally, I like to use a 6- or 8-inch blade.
DEE DEE: Gypsy? CURTIS: It doesn't turn if you hit bone.
So you've still got the option of a clip point, which is the perfect shape blade for penetration.
Or you can get a drop point, which is better for skinning.
Probably the penetration one.
CURTIS: That still leaves the question of fixed or folding.
- Fixed is probably better.
- [GROANS] CURTIS: It's a little more difficult to transport.
It's a lot more reliable for heavy duty work.
And you're gonna need a non-slip handle.
'Cause you're doing some serious gutting, that blade's gonna get mighty slippery.
You don't want to go slicing your palm up.
So [SIGHS] I would recommend either a Ambush Tundra or maybe a Cross River Mountain Man.
I want that one.
With the red.
Honey, that's a fishing knife.
He likes fishing too.
DEE DEE: [PANTING] Oh - Mm-hmm.
- CURTIS: Yeah? That's the one.
Jimmy will ring you up.
[RECEIPT PRINTING] [ELEVATOR DINGS] Oh! - What were you doing? - GYPSY: [GASPS] You weren't in the bathroom! I'm sorry, I just I had to tell a little fib.
I I saw this when we came in the mall and I really wanted to get it for you.
You scared me half to death.
It reminds me of us.
I love it.
[PANTING] You're gonna have to wheel yourself.
That was too much.
GYPSY: I'm sorry.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS] That's for motivation, darling.
That is pretty great motivation.
[LAUGHS] NICK: But basically, the deed has to wait until Victor has enough money saved up for the motel.
GYPSY: Know what? Just let me worry about the motel, okay? You just worry about getting Victor on that bus and getting him down here.
Can you do that? Uh, yep.
Tomorrow night.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Tomorrow night.
GYPSY: Tonight is the last night we sleep alone.
[FOREBODING MUSIC] GYPSY'S VOICE: NICK'S VOICE: I should ask you this before Victor has to.
Is your mom a light or deep sleeper? [SIGHS] [WATCH CHIMING] [CHIMING CONTINUES] Ow.
[GROANS] Oh, Gypsy, get in your chair.
Someone could see you.
No one can see us, Mom.
[SIGHS] [CLATTERING] Oh, don't hurt me.
I'll be careful.
DEE DEE: [GROANS] [GRUNTS] How about I paint your nails, hmm? Maybe, um What if maybe a dark pink? [SIGHS] Oh, oh, everything's swollen.
GYPSY: I haven't seen you wear grandma's ring in a while.
What's the matter? I think you might have been right about my feeding tube.
Is it too late to go in today? [INTENSE MUSIC] [MUFFLED] Before you know it, you'll be a brand new girl.
Upsies, here we go.
Here we go.
[CHUCKLES] All right.
Ladies, always a pleasure.
Try to stay out of trouble.
DEE DEE: Oh, trouble knows it's not welcome here.
[BOTH CHUCKLE] [DOOR OPENS] Oh, I I think I owe you an apology.
The other day at the movies You asked for a Dr.
Pepper, and I said no.
I should have let you have a sip.
[EERIE RINGING MUSIC] GYPSY'S VOICE: Sir, will you text me when you are at the door with the gloves on? [WATER TURNS OFF] [RETREATING FOOTSTEPS] DEE DEE: [GROANS] [SIGHS] [GRUNTS] Aww [SIGHS] Did you look up at the sky tonight? And what did you see? [OMINOUS MUSIC] [PHONE BUZZES]