The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, Boy Genius (2002) s01e08 Episode Script

The Phantom of Retroland/My Son the Hamster

Gotta Blast!
From here to the stars
fueled by candy bars ♪
Rides a kid with a knack
for invention ♪
( gasps )
With super-powered mind,
a mechanical canine ♪
( barks )
He rescues the day
from sure destruction ♪
This is the theme song ♪
( screams )
For Jimmy Neutron. ♪
( mechanical whirring )
( barking )
( yells )
And so, in 1851
physicist Jean Foucault
hung a pendulum
from a 200 foot wire--
much as I've done here--
and proved the
Earth revolves.
Um, excuse me, Miss Fowl
might I suggest
that in the future
oral reports should be shorter
than the life of the person
they're about?
Speed it, speed it up, Jimmy.
Because the Earth's rotating
beneath the pendulum
any moment now the first domino
will move in front of it
and be knocked over.
Cool. When's it
going to knock
over another one?
In exactly one hour.
( groaning )
15 seconds, Jimmy.
Uh, okay.
He was born poor
Five, four, three, two, one.
Time's up.
( gonging )
your report,
Yeah, Nick.
All right, Nick.
Yeah, Nick.
Can I, uh, get some
atmospheric lighting here?
In July '97, three normal kids
from our town
heading home
from an all-night swim meet
decided to take a shortcut
through the theme park.
So they hopped the fence.
They may have heard the rumors,
but they were all too smart
to believe in
the Phantom of Retroland.
( kids whimpering )
Everybody knows about
the Phantom.
He wears a long,
black cape.
He has a Genoa salami
for a right leg
and he stalks the park
after dark
looking for victims to eat.
( all gasping )
Here's an artist's drawing
of what he looks like.
None of them
were ever seen again.
( whimpering )
That's my history report.
Okay, in the first place
who ever heard of
an all-night swim meet?
how do we know Billy's
alleged last words
if no one ever saw him again?
And if Mr. Phantom's so hungry
why doesn't he just eat
his salami leg?
The whole thing's a myth.
An urban legend.
How small-minded can you be
to try to ruin someone else's
well-researched and
fascinating report?
Yeah, there you go.
Excuse me?
Isn't a basic rule of history
supposed to be
that it's about stuff
that, oh, I don't know
actually happened?
Jimmy, um, your
rambling was really
cool and everything
but are you sure you're
not, I don't know
maybe a little jealous
'cause Mr. Fouc-Fouc
Forpa never ate nobody?
( ringing )
Every thinking person
knows the Phantom's
just a fable.
Oh, obsess,
why don't ya?
You're only
putting down
Nick because
despite all
your logic
you're just as scared
of the Phantom
as everyone else.
No kid who goes to
Retroland after midnight
has ever been seen again.
Tha that-that is
so patently ridiculous
it doesn't even deserve
A what?
A 600-page report
on how ridiculous it is
in French?
So, Neutron, I guess
you wouldn't be afraid
to go to the park at midnight.
You know, say, if I was to,
uh, triple-dog dare you?
Don't do it, Jimmy.
With you dead, I'll be
picked last in volleyball.
Fine. I'll go tonight.
And I'll be in class tomorrow
completely unharmed.
How will we know you
were really there?
Because I'll take
Sheen and Carl as witnesses.
Sheen, the Phantom
of Retroland's
going to rip us
limb from limb
and eat us.
Say something!
You ever notice
how Jimmy's hair
is like one of those
gum massager things?
It's all swirly and
Would you like some more milk
to help you get to sleep?
( yawns ):
No, thanks, Mom.
I find it more soothing
to mentally calculate
the Martin's function
for all integers through ten
to the 30th power.
I list all the types of pie,
in alphabetical order
starting, of course,
with cherry.
Uh, what about
apple, dear?
Oh, I forgot apple!
Oh, and blueberry.
Blueberry, yes!
And boysenberry,
banana cream
banana coconut cream,
Boston cream.
Um, black forest,
marmalade, um
bing cherry
black cherry
Activate hologram projector.
( whirring )
Image select.
Skip to Jimmy asleep.
( electrical zapping )
( electrical screeching )
( metal clattering in distance )
( dog barking )
( shoes squeaking )
"Dear Jimmy.
"I can't come with you tonight,
as I have decided to join
"the French Foreign Legion.
( door creaking )
This is a decision I do not
make lightly, as I h"
H-Hi, Jimmy.
I thought you said 11:30.
( door closing )
you'd have surely been
on a plane to Algeria
by then, Carl.
Glad you could make it,
How'd you sneak out?
Oh, I just told
my grandma
that I had to go to
a deserted theme park
to be eaten
by a maniac.
She told me to wear
clean underwear.
Let's hop the fence.
Hop the? Uh, gee,
sorry, I can't, Jim.
You know, some people
can't whistle
some people can't
snap their fingers.
Well, I can't hop.
So, darn it,
I guess I'll have to go home.
It's an
expression, Carl.
We're going
through the fence
thanks to my
oxidation accelerator.
The equivalent of 200 years
of rust.
( can rattling )
Oh, Mr. Phantom!
Tasty children, right here.
( sputtering )
Don't Jimmy.
It's one minute to midnight!
( singsong ):
Where are you?
Maybe he's on
daylight mania time.
What's that?
My autograph book.
The Phantom's going
right here next to my dad.
And Santa Claus.
Hey, wait a minute.
Strangest thing.
The Jimster's in his room,
but, uh, so is his playground.
Ooh, I keep telling
him to empty his socks
before he comes home.
Uh, no, no, no,
monkey pants.
I'm talking about
his entire playground's
in his room.
I wonder what order
he'll eat us in.
He's kidding, Carl.
No one's going to eat us.
Three, two, one, midnight.
Hah! We did it!
We took a hypothesis
a scientific protocol
and conclusively
proved it false.
Take that, Nick
and all of your ilk.
You know what I smell,
Victorious truth
rising above the ashes
of superstition?
( screaming )
Stand your ground.
It's obviously a trick.
Could you sign this,
"To Sheen.
With admiration
and affection," please?
( growling )
( growling )
( growls )
( whimpering )
He's not real.
He's a mythical construct.
Hey, better safe
than swallowed, Jimmy.
Oh, he'll
just climb in.
Not if we're moving.
( ticking )
( diesel engine rumbling )
Ha, ha!
Try and get us now,
Mr. Deli-Item Leg.
Uh, Sheen?
It's only
a three-minute ride.
( ticking )
( raspy laughing )
Wow, usually when I get
on these kind of rides
I get real s
( retching )
Never mind.
( groans in frustration )
Looks like I
have to show you
how a myth fares when
it faces the withering
light of science.
I'm going to repeat
Foucault's classic experiment.
And what,
bore him to death?
Goddard, laser beams.
Cut the guardrails
off the ride's axis.
( barks )
What is this ride
if not a giant pendulum?
Now that it's swinging freely
the Earth will slowly rotate
beneath it.
So, imagine Mr. Phantom's
a domino.
( metal scraping )
( grunting )
( Jimmy laughing )
Let's see how scary
the Phantom is now.
( groaning )
Ew, what's
that smell?
Shoe barf.
Hey, hey,
I know that voice.
I should've known.
Boy, you really
showed him. Wham!
Now let's beat it before
the real Phantom shows up.
Sheen, there is no real Phantom.
( raspy voice ):
I beg to differ.
( screams )
( sniffing ):
What's that smell?
You mean your salami leg
his salami leg,
or Carl's shoes?
( growling )
( screaming )
( growling )
It's only Cindy
and Libby.
But why?
'Cause nobody likes a smug,
smart-alecky, badly coifed
report-ruining know-it-all!
Everybody knows the
stupid Phantom's a myth.
Only you would ruin
everyone's fun
by being so pedantic
about it.
( raspy voice ):
Ah, leaving so soon, huh?
( screams )
( sniffs ):
What's that smell?
You mean your salami
leg, their salami leg
his salami leg,
or Carl's shoes?
All right, whoever you
are, the joke's over.
( screaming )
( panting ):
Jimmy, what
about science?
Science, shmience.
Run for your life!
( giggling )
Ooh, that'll teach
that little dickens
to use his hologram projector
to sneak out after bedtime.
Let's go, Hugh.
Hey, booger of my eye,
I think I got 'em all--
every single pie
between apple and cherry.
Look at my list.
What about blackberry?
Oh, blackberry, sure.
Tip of the cap, there,
Mr. Phantom-Face Terrifying Guy.
( both screaming )
Hey, Jimmy, are you in there?
I brought my new hamster,
Mr. Wuggles, over.
Want to see him?
( chuckles ):
He's so cute.
( buzzing )
( screams )
Kinda busy, Carl.
I'm working on my new
teleportation pods.
When they're finished, I'll be
able to transmit my atoms
between any two points
in an instant.
Ooh pretty lights.
I can explore a volcano
in Hawaii
build a snowman in Iceland
and be back in time for lunch.
Hand me that plasma wrench,
will you, Carl?
Oh, sure thing, Jim.
( nibbling noises )
( laser buzzing )
( excited panting )
( squeals )
( barking )
( squeaking )
Carl, could you please
control your hamster?
Mr. Wuggles, no!
Wuggle, wuggle, wug.
Uh aah!
Whoa! Ow! Whoa!
( humming )
Don't tell the others,
but you're my favorite.
( chuckles )
Oh! Hi, honey.
Are you going to spend
the entire day
with your duck
Um, just a minute, doe-dumpling.
I'm finishing up the flock's
monthly fluff and buff.
Well, I'm going shopping.
Why don't you spend
some quality time with Jimmy?
It could be a special
father-son day.
That's a great idea.
I used to have those
with my aunty all the time.
Only we called them
"aunty-nephew days"
but it's probably
the same basic idea.
We could go to the park.
We could, uh eat cheese!
We could even
go to Retroland.
I love those
zig-zaggy lines.
They're so
not straight.
( sighs ):
Oh, Hugh.
( terrified squeaking )
Okay, nice hamster.
( barking )
Now, one last adjustment
on the Gulanic transducer,
( barking )
( buzzer )
( alarm sounds )
Oh, boy.
( no audio )
( whirring and beeping )
( electrical buzzing )
( screams )
( screaming )
( screams )
( screams )
( screams )
Are you in there, scout?
( squeaks )
Your head's--
furry and animal-like!
Looks soft, though, eh?
I was going
to take you to Retroland
but maybe we should
call your mother.
( squeaking )
( chuckles ):
Oh, I get it, I get it.
It's just another one of your
crazy experiments, isn't it?
It'll wear off, right?
( squeaking )
One twitch for yes,
two twitches for no.
( squeaks )
Be careful, now, don't
gnaw on the shirt.
( squeaking )
( grunts )
( barking )
( transporter hissing )
Ugh! I'm putting on weight.
I got to lay off
the snickerdoodles.
( gasps )
Leaping leptons!
What have I done to myself?!
Oh, this is awful! Horrible!
( gasping )
Hey I could never reach
that spot before.
Aw, nice.
Aw, yeah
( growling )
Easy there, boy.
It's me, Jimmy.
When I teleported
with Carl's hamster
we must have gotten
our atoms mixed.
All we have to do
is find Mr. Wuggles and
( growling )
Hey, no! No
( barking )
( barking )
( snorting and panting )
My own dog
thinks I'm a hamster.
It's a good thing the human part
of me is completely in control.
It's going to take every ounce
of brainpower I have to
( sniffs )
Are those nuts I smell?
( squeaks )
( nibbling noises )
( cane snaps )
( screams )
( bystanders screaming )
Listen to
everybody scream.
These rides must be
scarier than I thought.
What the ?!
Let me out! Let me out of here!
( screaming hysterically )
What a bunch of scaredy-pants.
I dib the front car.
( squeaks )
Uh, don't eat before
you get on the ride.
Uh hamster sense tingling.
So close.
( gobbling )
( grunts )
That was close.
Carl, Sheen!
Oh, man, am I glad
to see you guys.
I don't believe it.
Jimmy! You're like
a hamster
or gerbil
or dolphin,
or something.
Isn't he adorable?
Aw who's a cute
little hamster?
Oh, he's a fat one.
I've got his belly, yes I do.
Come on, Carl, let
me hold Jimmy.
Okay, just be careful.
Oh, it's just like
Episode 346
"Attack of the Mighty
Bird People."
Check it out.
( deep voice ):
"I am Hamster Lord.
"I must gnaw on your planet's
energy to survive.
Resistance is futile."
Stop it, Sheen.
Jimmy's not some
kind of plaything!
Aw, who's got
little pawsies?
Who's got widdle pawsies?
That's right, Jimmy's
got some, yes, he does.
You got
problems, Carl.
All right, that's it!
Cut it out!
I'm not a hamster!
I'm a human being!
Uh, could you scratch under
my chin again? Right there?
Oh, yeah that's the ticket.
Now, listen, you two
have got to help me
find Mr. Wuggles.
It's the only way I
can return to normal.
Return to normal?
But, Jimmy,
you're so soft and cuddly.
And as Hamster Lord
you could easily defeat
the Lettuce People
of Nebula Seven!
Guys, focus!
Listen, sending Wuggles and me
back through the teleporter
is the only way to de-scramble
our atoms.
Now, can I count on you?
Yeah, I guess,
All right, sure.
Okay, here's the plan.
( screeching )
Great plan, Jimmy!
( screaming )
( squeaking )
All right, stop your squeaking.
All right now, glove up.
Eyes on the ball.
Gaylord Perry taught me
this one.
It's a knuckleball.
( squeals )
Oh, whoops-a-daisy.
That's why they call
it the knuckleball.
You got to keep the glove up,
This one's
a split-seam fastball.
( squeals )
( groans )
Oh! Rub some dirt
in that, son.
( shrieking )
( stammers ):
Uh, um
Y-you know, I'm really
high in HDL cholesterol--
that's the bad kind.
( squawks )
( gasps )
A satellite dish!
Hey, what's that?
If I could just punch in
Goddard's homing code
( beeping )
( sniffing )
( whirring )
( barks )
( screams )
( shrieks )
Oh, it's no good
( screeching )
I'm done for!
( sobs )
( growls )
Goddard, it's me.
Jimmy! Remember, I feed you,
walk you
recharge your battery, huh?
( cooing )
( giggles ):
Good boy.
I knew you wouldn't
eat me.
Hey! Hey!
( growls )
It's Mr. Wuggles!
He was with my Dad
the whole time.
Quick, Goddard,
let's get back to the lab.
You know, maybe instead
of eating Jimmy
the hawk will raise him
like his own son.
Then Jimmy will be
half hamster
half human,
and half hawk!
Hi guys!
Oh, look, it's Jimmy.
Jimmy, we're coming!
Keep hope alive!
Here, vicious little rodent. ♪
Come get some tasty seeds. ♪
Howdy, butter biscuit.
Your menfolk are home.
( squeaking )
( screams ):
Eww! You get it
out of here! Eww!
( squeals )
I am getting
more traps.
Hang on, Jimbo,
I'll get a pliers.
( squeaking )
Do something, Jimmy
'cause your Mom might
hurt Mr. Wuggles.
Come on, think.
Think, think
Hiya, Jimmy.
Brain blast!
Carl, hand me
that hamster trail.
Sheen, get my magnifying ray.
I'm going to lure
Mr. Wuggles back to the lab
with the one thing
no hamster can resist.
( whirring )
Wugga, wugga, wugga, wug.
( squeaks )
( squeaking )
It's working.
Get ready, Carl.
Wugga, wugga,
wugga, wug.
Now, Sheen! Initialize!
( buzzer )
( alarm sounds )
( machinery whirring )
Jimbo, you out here?
Come on, now.
Mom didn't mean to scare you.
Hugh, that was
not our son.
That thing had fur and
big teeth and whiskers.
I've been calling him
"Furry Jimmy."
Hi, guys.
Hey, Jimbo!
You got your old head back.
I tried to tell your mother
we had everything under control
but she never listens to me.
( sighs )
But I-I-I
I am never leaving
you two alone again.
Well, I guess our little
father-son day
was just what you needed,
eh, son?
Uh, sure, Dad, if you say so.
( squeaking )
I love you, Mr. Wuggles.
All right!
A lizard!
If I use Jimmy's pods
to switch bodies with it
I can be Lizard Lord!
Behold, my tongue
of doom and tremble.
( screams )
( screaming )
( screams )
Captioned by
( barking )
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