The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s02e11 Episode Script


1 El Gato! 2x11 - "No" Hold, young pig! All must remain indoors until the spell is completed.
Thus I command.
- But I - Do not question the great mage Sino.
This command is for your protection.
We wouldn't have to stay inside if you hadn't sent Puss away.
He always protected us.
What part of "do not question" do you not understand? Can you use "question" in a sentence, please? Go inside! Sino is scary.
Toby, Uli's been telling us one of his charming folk tales.
Ja, it is the Tale of the Boy Who Was Too Proud of His Shoes, und we are right at the amusing finish.
So, the boy's mother chopped off his feet so he could never be too prideful again.
The end.
You see? It is funny because without feet, what need has he for shoes? So humorous.
Uli is scary.
So, who would like to try some delicious zuckerkiesel? Ah.
They're like delicious rocks.
Only not delicious and I think they're really rocks.
They are rocks.
Mit sugar.
Oh, Puss, where are you? Puss and the Black Cats Best friends forever Puss and the Black Cats Surrendering never It's a fact That they have the cool hats Puss and the Black Cats Puss and the Black Cats Yeah Behold! What great joy the fruits of our heroic labors bring us all.
And what great joy to know that Puss in Boots is our great friend, and never shall leave us, ever, ever, ever! Not even if we have a sweaty palm problem that isn't our fault.
Yes, yes, so much joy.
Really, I am having a lot of joy right now.
I failed you, San Lorenzo.
You are better off without me.
That is not the way to distill Arcanum Corallinum.
Of course not.
It's the way to distill some delicious birch bark tea.
- Would you like a sip? - No! You must complete the spell.
Thus commands the great mage Sino.
All righty, more tea for me and Admiral Owloysius.
Oh! Me like-y so much.
- Now, what was I doing? - The spell! Work on the spell! Okay, keep your robe on.
That's a mighty nice robe, by the way.
I used to have one just like it.
Focus, you old fool! The eclipse is tomorrow.
You must complete the spell by then.
Yes, the eclipse.
Terrible doom coming.
Must get the spell ready.
And what spell is that again? The spell! - The spell.
- To protect.
- To protect.
- San.
San - Lorenzo! - Lorenzo.
Now, who is this "Lorenzo" fellow? Just do the spell, you old buffoon! Hey, can you hold it down? I'm trying to work on the spell! I'm getting a headache.
Ah, coming along now.
Ooh, it's a very complicated spell.
But you must know that, right? Because it's your spell? Of course! And I would do it myself, but no one can do this spell twice.
Really? It doesn't say anything about that in the scroll here.
Do not question the great mage Sino.
You will complete the spell and you will do it before the eclipse tomorrow, or you will not live to see the eclipse.
There's something not right about that Sino guy, Admiral Owloysius.
He's a big meanie.
I know, right? And this spell, it just feels wrong somehow.
It feels evil.
The spell is evil? It doesn't seem like a spell of protection.
It seems more like a spell of, I don't know, summoning.
Oh, my.
No one ever summons anything good.
And that Sino.
He doesn't seem very Sino-y.
I know.
There's something off about him.
I always imagined Sino would be kind and Artephius! Why are you not working on the spell as I commanded? Oh, yeah, look at the time! I was just, uh Well, back to work.
You! All are to remain inside until the spell is complete.
Yes, well, that makes sense, oh, Great Mage.
But tell me, once the spell is in place, will the secret phrase to enter town be the same as before? Yes.
And what was that again? It was, uh "Magic treasure at the center, lift the veil that I may enter.
" Now go! It was "mystic treasure.
" The real Sino would know that.
We're in trouble, Babieca.
And there's only one person who can help.
Can you find him? Paella's ready.
Did you make it the way I like, with saffron and extra shrimp? Or the way I like, with shoelaces and carpet tacks? No.
Those aren't food things.
I made it the way Puss likes it, because he's depressed.
I am not depressed.
I am merely very interested in this ant colony.
For instance, I have noticed that they never banish any of their members into the cold, lonely darkness.
Perhaps thou shouldst talk to him.
Ah, why me? Because I'm pretentious and Phillip eats carpet tacks.
They taste like bleeding.
Hey there, sport.
How ya doin', huh? Feelin' a little down? Buddy? A little blue, huh? I will be honest with you, Baltasar.
My regret over having failed the people of San Lorenzo is unbearable.
I cannot stop thinking of them.
Puss! Sometimes I can almost hear their voices.
Puss! Calling out to me from a distance, - almost as if - Puss! Dulcinea! - It is, uh, good to see you.
- Puss, I have to tell you As you can see, I am having a marvelous time here in the woods with my wonderful new friends, the Guild of Darkness.
Darkness, darkness, darkness Puss.
Sino is Yes, I am glad that Sino banished me.
I love this nomadic life and spend no time weeping silently to myself.
Nothing could possibly coax me back to the humdrum tedium of San Lorenzo.
Sino is a fake and the spell is evil and you have to come back! I thought you would never ask.
We go at once.
Whoo! Babieca! Wait! Don't you want to say goodbye to your friends? My what? Oh, right.
Guild of Darkness, I must leave you.
Please don't go! It's so boring without you.
I don't want you to leave me, but honestly, I would leave me if I could.
I cannot stay, but perhaps you'd like to come with me and fight what will doubtless be a mighty, perilous evil! Have a nice trip.
- See you around, buddy.
- My gums are bleeding.
Then farewell, my friends.
I hope that we will meet again one day.
Now, Babieca, to San Lorenzo! And glory! At last, I will right my greatest wrong.
I will be the savior of San Lorenzo.
They will have a parade in my honor.
And they will build me a statue of solid obsidian.
Or marble.
Maybe marble.
I said that all out loud, didn't I? Puss, how are you gonna fight Sino? He may be a fake Ah-det-det-det.
Ha! The Lorenzo Lapis Lazuli! Four grains saccharum saturni, five pinches, six geese a-laying Wake up! I don't think I have enough geese.
There are no geese, you fool.
Only one ingredient remains.
The argentum aetherium.
I don't know.
I just don't feel right about this.
Do not incur my wrath! Okay, okay.
Here goes nothing.
Sino! It's Puss! No, come back! Puss! Puss! Am I glad to see you.
What are you doing here? I am here to tell Artephius to stop working on that spell.
Oh, thank goodness! It's fishy.
Yes, it is.
And it is not all that is fishy.
You, sir, are not Sino! What? How dare you.
You are banished! No, it is you who are about to be banished.
Ha! You are not the only one who can use magic.
Your magic stone is no match for my staff.
I am a mighty sorcerer! And I am Puss in Boots! Oh, my gosh! It's not him! - That's not Sino.
- No.
I'm not Sino.
I am Fartholomew Fishflinger! The mouse? A mouse no longer.
Not since that cat ate me.
Dulcinea? You ate the mouse? Well, he was bad.
Someone had to eat him.
I am kind of impressed.
I was almost out of this rotten town when that cat caught me.
But a sorcerer of my caliber cannot be destroyed.
Eating me only released my soul.
I wandered the Earth, looking for power.
I sought out sources of magic all around the world absorbing their energy and making it my own, until I had enough mystic power to create the illusion of this form you see before you.
Then I came here and fooled you all! All of us except the smartest cat in San Lorenzo, Dulcinea.
And now, you have met your match.
Don't be so sure, Puss in Boots.
I have a secret weapon: the Anulus Sceletus.
Not the Anulus Sceletus.
Anything but the Anulus Sceletus! - You do not know what that is.
- No, I do not! Oh, boy.
Yes! I am master of the skeleton army! Of course you are.
Attack, my minions! En garde.
Yay! - Is it time? - For the eclipse? Almost.
But I don't think that really matters now.
There must be something you can do.
We couldst not leave thee to perish, friend.
Yeah, and it was boring out there in the forest without you.
Well done.
Now come.
We have a bone to pick with these skeletons.
Hiyah! Ha! You cannot keep this up, villain.
As long as I have this ring, I have a chance.
That is good to know.
Oh, bugnuggets.
Fools! You think you've won.
But you've only beaten one of us.
What did I mean by that? Thank you, my friends.
Black Cats forever! Black Cats forever! Now, my fellow ebon felines, let us see if we canst find that skeleton ring.
For verily, it was super neat.
We like shiny things.
Bye, bye, bye, bye Well, Artephius, the treasure is all in place and just in time for the eclipse.
Sadly, it would seem that the spell you have been preparing is not the right one.
Yeah, but I'm dying to know what it would have done.
- Something real terrible, I bet.
- Excuse me.
Am I the only one who's worried about that "you have only beaten one of us" thing? Eh, I'm sure it was nothing.
The deed is done.
I have fooled you all.
I have fooled you.
Und you.
Und you.
Und now, he comes! - He comes! - Who comes? Das Blutwolf.
Das Blutwolf! What is a Blutwolf? The Bloodwolf.
The most fearsome being ever to walk on the Earth.
He was the arch nemesis of Sino.
Hundreds of years ago, the Great Mage banished him to the netherworld.
It was I who convinced Fartholomew to pose as Sino.
It was I who planted that false scroll for Artephius to find.
Und it was I who at last succeeded in summoning Das Blutwolf from the netherworld! Soon he will return to plunge all the world into suffering! Whoo-hoo! It will be so neato.
A dog.
Why did it have to be a dog? The Blutwolf, he will destroy you all.
Yay! Woo-hoo! Toby, why are you happy? If Uli's evil, that means I'm definitely your best friend.
- I win! - No! You lose.
You all lose.
The whole world loses! Das Blutwolf! I think that this is going to be a problem.