The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s04e08 Episode Script

Titan Up

1 [cat purrs, meows.]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing.]
[screams.]
[giggles.]
[Puss yowling.]
El Gato! [yowls.]
4x08 - Titan Up [thunder rumbling.]
[screaming.]
[groans.]
[Babieca neighing.]
[all screaming.]
[groans.]
I had too much gruel.
I'm never eating gruel again.
Ooh, gruel! [chomps.]
[thunderclap.]
[mumbles.]
Crown of Souls.
Hmm.
[Puss grunts.]
[door opens.]
[wind blowing.]
The weather outside! It is [screams.]
[grunting.]
[exclaims.]
Have you learned anything about the Crown of Souls? It is nearly Walcrusmurdismack Wolfpag [snaps fingers.]
Oh.
Come on.
- Walpurgisnacht.
- Yes! It is nearly that day.
And with it comes the Bloodwolf.
We've been at it all morning with that book.
It says here that the Crown of Souls must be used by the One from the Great Prophecy - Who is me.
- in conjunction with something called: [gasps.]
"The Obelisk of Night"! The Obelisk of Night? [whimpers.]
What is obelisk? Hmm.
"An obelisk is tall, not fat, and wears a pyramid for a hat.
" [sighs.]
I'd like to see that other book rhyme that well.
That is it! It is settled.
I will find this Obelisk of Night.
It will be nothing for one with such finely-honed tracking skills as [screams.]
[grunting.]
[neighing.]
[continues grunting, groans.]
[screaming.]
[grunting.]
[screaming.]
Did you know that weird weather means the sky gods are fighting? Oh, the innocent beliefs of a child.
Now [grunts.]
repeat after me.
Weather has nothing to do with the sky gods.
"Weather has nothing to do with" [thuds.]
[gasps.]
[both coughing.]
[gasps.]
Sky gods! [gulps.]
Aerial villain! Why have you fallen here? [neck crackles.]
[gasps.]
[clangs.]
[whimpering sob.]
Oh.
I come in peace! Please don't hurt me, oh, Great One in Boots! Oh! [kissing.]
Eh, what now? I know you have beaten Taranis, who is me, a thousand times before, but I beg you to put aside your mighty fists and help me to defeat the most powerful of all the gods, Toutatis the All-Father, who has exiled me from our godly realm! Um okay? [grunts.]
Taranis, who is still me, is so glad you have agreed to help.
Toutatis has gone mad! [groans, yowls.]
He plans to extinguish all mortals! All mortals? All mortals.
But that would be Eh, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight Everyone in the world! Yes.
Toutatis has gone mad with power.
He must be stopped! [chuckles.]
Look! It is the small people and barn animals.
You're still small and animals.
You, um, know each other? Okay, long story short, we met this Taranis guy before.
He's a god of thunder who could destroy us all.
[thunder rumbles.]
Did you know that Cleevil told him you defeated him a thousand times? And we kind of told him you had, like, crazy powers.
Um, such as [Cleevil.]
Nose fire! [explosion.]
[growling.]
[Vina.]
Fairy wings! [Kid Pickles.]
Fairy breath! [Toby.]
Oh, and we told him that you and me can do this thing called "The Super Friendship High Five!" Eh? No time for high fives.
Aww.
Yes.
Hi, uh, hello.
[chuckles.]
It would seem that these children have told you lies about me.
[thunder rumbling.]
I hope you are not going to tell me the tales of your powers are false! That would be very disappointing! I would have to punish this town with fiery fires of destruction! Uh, of course not.
I was going to tell you I am even more powerful than they said.
All hail Puss in Boots, the mightiest god-cat who ever lived! [chuckles.]
"God-cat.
" It is good to be admired.
[gasps.]
Will you join me, God-Cat, in stopping Toutatis and saving the world? Yes! I hereby pledge you my fairy wings and nose fire and whatever! Whoa! Puss, what are you doing? You don't have those things.
[laughing.]
Huzzah! This is like If I tell him that, he will destroy us! And if we don't stop this Toutatis, he will destroy us! Yay! Yes! Yes! Yes! Also, I cannot say no to someone who calls me a god-cat.
In fact, I may ask that all of you begin calling me that.
Please don't.
[humming excitedly.]
Come, my sizable friend! Let us save the world! Huzzah! Taranis is grateful for your help.
Oh, you're a way better god than me.
All I can do is fly with the power of my mighty wheel.
Ooh, ooh.
Can I see your terrifying nose fire? Please, please, pretty please? Um, uh [whistling.]
I am just getting over a cold, so Then what powers can you show me? Uh [samba music playing.]
Behold! The magical backwards-forwards walk! [all cheering, applauding.]
The spinning through the air thing! [licking.]
Hygiene.
My lips are not moving.
Not one bit.
Uh-uh-uh-uh.
The big eyes.
[applause.]
Uh, uh, uh? This other thing.
Huh-huh.
Grand handstand.
Master of disguise.
[yowls.]
Swimming.
I make a good sandwich.
Dead eyes.
- The great ball balance.
- [shouts.]
Enough! [grunting.]
[growls.]
[footsteps.]
[claps.]
Whoa! [grunts, groans.]
[clattering.]
[laughs.]
[sighs.]
Amazing! Now, come.
Let us travel to the Realm of the Gods and give Toutatis a taste of your powers! Do you wanna fly or should I? Eh, please, be my guest.
[Puss screaming.]
Did you know that this is not going to end well? Yes, Vina.
I did know that.
[heavy metal music playing.]
[thunder rumbling.]
No one can beat the All-Father It can't be done, so don't bother! Yeah! [Taranis.]
Toutatis! I have returned! Ha! Back for more, eh? [gulps.]
Okay, do your thing.
[grunting nervously.]
Um, yes, hi, hello.
[chuckles.]
Puss in Boots.
I was hoping we could discuss this whole "destroying all mortals" plan of yours? Did you say "Puss in Boots"? The Puss in Boots? Did I? Maybe.
Uh, who is asking? [thuds.]
[screams, groans.]
You're that all-powerful bloke in shoes Taranis keeps going on about.
[chuckles.]
Yes, yes.
It is I.
All-powerful, all-knowing, all-purring.
I've heard tales of you.
Tales of nose fire and, uh - What was it? - Fairy breath! Right, yeah, that.
Go on, show us, then.
Show us something big.
Uh, my nose is a-a little dry right now.
[chuckles.]
I think it is the elevation.
Aw, man, that's so disappointing.
I wanted to see it before I destroyed you! Uh, maybe I could try harder? [inhaling rapidly.]
[grunts, blows raspberry.]
For my next number, I'd like to play an old favorite.
[whizzing.]
It's called [plucks string.]
"Gonna destroy you, mate.
" [heavy metal music.]
[grunts.]
[screams.]
[heavy metal music continues.]
[grunting.]
Ha! Ah, come on! [beeping.]
Now would be the time to unleash all of your godly powers.
I am working on it! En garde! [clanging, thudding.]
Nice try, kitty cat, but no mortal is a match for me.
[Puss screaming.]
Once my axe is fully charged with lightning, I'll use it to destroy every last mortal on Earth.
And there's nothing you can do about it! [both screaming.]
[Taranis screaming.]
[thuds.]
[groans.]
[groans.]
[clangs.]
[both groan.]
Uh I think we are going to need a better plan.
What happened up there? The weather was going crazy! Yeah! A weather vane flew off the roof and hit me in the head.
I thought I was a kangaroo for a while.
[chuckles.]
Our sky adventure went somewhat poorly.
Now, think.
There must be something we can do to stop Toutatis! I wish I could think better.
All I can do is dumb thunder stuff by summoning the power of my great wheel.
[thunder rumbling.]
That is it! If the source of your power is your wheel, then the source of Toutatis' power must be his axe.
Yay! You did - Too soon? - If we destroy his axe, we take away his power and save ourselves and all of the other mortals on Earth.
Now, Toby! Yay! You did it! Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy [electric guitar playing.]
[thunder crashing.]
"Toutatis rules.
Toutatis is great.
Toutatis will make you hyperventilate.
" No.
"Exfoliate"? Toutatis! It is I, Taranis! [Puss grunts.]
[grunts.]
Oi, mate.
Don't you think this tune is getting a little old? The only tune here is the sound of me punch-fighting with my fists! Ah, your mouth-words are boring! [snorts.]
[laughs maniacally.]
[screams, groans.]
[groaning.]
[clanging.]
[grunting.]
[rumbling.]
[clamoring.]
[screaming.]
[children giggling.]
Whee! Whee! Whee! [both laughing.]
Ooh! What? No, you guys! Natural disasters are not fun! They're a little fun.
[exclaims excitedly.]
See! Ow! Fun! Ow.
Ow.
[screaming.]
[groans.]
[grunting.]
[groaning.]
[electricity surging.]
Steal the axe.
Save the world.
[grunts.]
[clangs.]
Ha-ha! Toutatis! [grunting.]
Oi! Cat in shoes! What you doin' with me axe? [Taranis groaning.]
[Puss grunting.]
[Puss groans.]
[sighs.]
No matter.
I have your magical axe, and without it, you are rendered helpless.
Ha-ha! Nope.
[thunderclap.]
[Puss, Taranis screaming.]
[both groan.]
But you said you were waiting for your axe to charge with lightning before destroying all mortals.
I don't need it, mate.
It just woulda looked cooler.
Ah.
I assumed that since Taranis' wheel is the source of his power - Nope.
- your axe was the source - Nope.
- of your Nope.
Nope.
Anyway, feel the power of my mighty wind! [farts loudly.]
[rumbling.]
[Puss screaming, groans.]
[coughs.]
[Taranis grunts, groans.]
[both groaning.]
If we are going to keep falling from the sky, could you not set up some mattresses or something? [groans.]
Is it too optimistic to assume that it went well? [Taranis sobs.]
That is how it went.
I can't do anything right.
There must be some way to stop Toutatis.
No.
Toutatis will destroy you all.
[yowls.]
[all gasp.]
I am useless.
All I can do is this.
[thunder rumbling.]
And this.
[thunder crashing.]
And this.
[whizzing.]
[sobbing.]
[sobbing continues.]
Taranis has truly amazing powers.
If only he believed in himself, he could easily beat Toutatis.
[gasps.]
You're right! We just need to give him confidence.
[Taranis gasping, sobbing.]
And I know how to do that.
By giving Taranis my powers! Puss, we've been over this.
You don't have powers, remember? We know that, but he does not.
Of course, it will be a great and noble sacrifice on my part.
Giving up the powers you don't have? Because I will no longer be admired as a god-cat.
- Not really a great sacrifice.
- But do not try to stop me.
- We weren't.
- I must do this! - No one was - I have no choice! Well thanks? [Taranis sobbing.]
[gasps.]
Fairy wings and fairy breath and nose fire? For me? Yes, yes.
I will give you all of my magical, stunning powers, and with them, you can finally defeat Toutatis! [laughs excitedly.]
Huzzah! This is like Christmas for gods! God-mas! Oh, but how will you give me your powers? - Hmm.
- Super Friendship High Five! [groans.]
Huh? Huh? Ah! I am not worthy! [groans.]
Let us get this over with.
[clangs.]
[sighs.]
Okay.
[Puss screaming.]
[grunts, groans.]
Former god-cat Puss in Boots, now just regular old Cat in Shoes.
Thank you for your powers.
It seems your true power is selflessness.
- Now, let's go save everyone! - Whoa! [heavy metal music playing.]
Toutatis rules Toutatis is great Toutatis will destroy All the mortals, mate! Toutatis! [Puss groans.]
[music stops.]
Can't a god jam in peace? I now possess the powers of the god-cat.
Let us settle this once and for all.
Whatever.
Let's get this over with.
Fairy breath! [blows air.]
[exclaims.]
[clangs.]
[laughs.]
[groans.]
Oh, it's so foul! You think you can defeat me with gingivitis? I am the All-Father! You are no match for my fairy wings! I can't see my fairy wings.
Um Probably your cape is covering them! Of course! [screams.]
[rumbling.]
[Taranis, Toutatis grunting.]
[thumps.]
[screams, groans.]
Looks like I got your wheel, mate.
And I have got your axe! [grunts.]
Haven't we been over this? You can't do anything.
I can do this! [grunting.]
[screams.]
[distorted guitar plays.]
[all groaning.]
And now, Toutatis, let us see how you fare against nose fire! [inhales, exhales.]
[inhales, exhales through nose.]
[grunts.]
[sniffing.]
Why is nothing happening? You can do it.
I believe in you.
You believe in me? Uh Sure.
[growls.]
Enough of this! [electricity surging.]
[screaming.]
[fire crackling.]
[gulps.]
[sizzling.]
Huzzah! [whizzing.]
[grunts.]
I literally have no idea what is happening right now.
[Taranis screaming.]
[Toutatis groaning.]
[groaning.]
[thuds.]
[grunts, groans.]
[growls.]
No! Not the nose fire! Anything but the nose fire! I surrender, mate! I surrender! Taranis! You did it! [crying.]
Hmm? Mmm.
No, we did it! Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you beat me.
Big whoop.
The realm's your problem now.
Good luck ruling a kingdom full of insufferable ingrates.
Explain your meaning again with smaller words.
Mortals used to flock to our shrines.
They feared us.
They worshiped us.
Now, no one even knows we exist.
I just wanted to make them believe in me again.
By destroying us all? Yeah, well.
Okay, maybe I should have thought that one through more.
Never fear, Toutatis, for the cat with boots believes.
Is this true? Yes.
I mean, you are standing right in front of me.
Really? Well, all right! [electric guitar riff.]
[off-key vocalizing.]
I'm sorry I gave you so much trouble, Taranis.
I guess I'm just used to being the front man, you know? I accept your apology.
Perhaps we could rule together? Two lead singers, huh? Yeah, I could rock that.
You gonna keep the wings, mate? Hmm.
Yes! I like 'em! Puss in Boots, I will return your other powers.
Oh! My powers! Um.
No, no, no, that is all right.
Super Friendship High Five! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no! [screams.]
[continues screaming.]
[grunts.]
[laughing.]
Much better than a mattress.
[grunts.]
[screams.]
Abomination! [grunts.]
[hiccups.]
Dulcinea, we may not be any closer to finding the Obelisk, but I have solved the problems of a god.
If I can do that, then I, the One from the Great Prophecy, can do anything! You're a true hero, Puss.
No matter what anyone says about you.
Wait, what do they say about me? Things about my boots? [continues hiccuping.]
Trampoline party! Dulcinea, this isn't funny.
[all cheering.]
Is it my hat? It is too big, right? My breath? Come on! What is it? [Dulcinea giggling.]