The Adventures Of Puss In Boots (2015) s05e06 Episode Script

Before They Hatch

1 [cat purrs, meows.]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing.]
[screams.]
[giggles.]
- [Puss yowling.]
- El Gato! [yowls.]
[Puss.]
Ha-ha! [grunting.]
[roaring.]
[grunts.]
[roaring.]
[exclaims.]
[panting, grunting.]
[screams.]
[grunts.]
[coughs, grunts.]
[roars.]
Whoa! [grunting.]
[grunts, gasps.]
Whoa! En garde! [grunting.]
Huh? Huh? [dismayed groan.]
- [creature snarls.]
- Ooh.
[growling.]
Sorry.
[grunting.]
Your skin is very tough.
Like impenetrable stone.
Still, you will not come a step closer to the orphanage! Uh-oh! [roars.]
[sighs.]
Sally! Oh! Hey, Esme.
How's it hanging? - You're here! Whee! - [Dulcinea gasps.]
[laughs.]
Uh Where have you been? Ugh, stuck in the Netherworld.
Don't get me started.
- It's good to see you, kiddo! - [chuckles.]
Sally? But I I thought Hello, sorry.
Puss in Boots? From earlier? Um, are we still fighting? I knew you were real! I think that we are not still fighting.
Who is this Sally? - She's Esme's imaginary friend! - [giggles.]
I do not think you are using the word "imaginary" correctly.
I mean, we thought she was imaginary, but Of course she is imaginary! Who said there is a gargoyle here? I see no gargoyle! - [grunts.]
- [yelps.]
Esme, you are playing with your imaginary friend again.
Remember what I told you about imaginary friends? They're for babies.
But, Señora Zapata, didn't you ever have an imaginary friend? Sure, I did.
He was a pink-spotted horse named Peanut, and rainbow candy came out of his nose.
Uh But that was when I was a baby.
Don't you want to be a big kid, Esme? Hmm? I do, but She's real! I can see her! Everybody can see her! No one can see her! There's nothing here! It is all in your mind! Señora Zapata, we can clearly see You don't see anything! - That creature is dangerous! - [Esme giggling.]
[gasps.]
So you can see her! Of course I can! I saw her when she was here before, a year ago.
She and Esme would play together, but whenever anyone came by, the beast would hide.
But I saw her! And I saw danger! I had to keep Esme safe.
So I told her that this Sally was imaginary, and she had to give her up.
And it worked! Esme ignored the creature, and she went away.
It worked and it will work again! If we pretend the gargoyle doesn't exist, she will go away! We can't do that.
She is obviously right here! Well, I'm going to do it! When I say something is imaginary, it stays imaginary! I'm sorry I didn't believe in you, Sally.
Why did you come back? I had to see you, kiddo.
And also, those eggs I laid when I was here before? Well, they seem to be gone.
Oh, this is bad.
This is really, very, really bad.
Why is it bad? Because if gargoyle eggs hatch and the mama does not feed them at once, the babies go crazy and eat everything in sight! And everyone! How could you lay your dangerous eggs next to an orphanage? Hey, when you gotta egg, you gotta egg! But I thought I'd be right back! I didn't know some wizard was gonna banish me to the Netherworld! It's just a good thing that portal opened because those eggs are gonna hatch any day now.
I do not know who you are talking to! There is no one here! Uh We must find those eggs at once! We need the Mystic Dowsing Rod of Akhenaten! You broke it, remember? Take me to catnip.
[grunts.]
How was I supposed to know it cannot be used to find herbs? The rules are very confusing! [sighs.]
All right, we will do this the hard way.
Everyone, start looking! [Sally grunting.]
Where are they? They are nowhere! Where could they be? Who would steal eggs that look like giant jewels? I have an idea who would steal them.
- Everyone! - Oh! You have to help me find them! The sun's coming up and my day vision is lousy.
That's why most gargoyles sit really still during the day.
You mean, like, statues of gargoyles? Those aren't statues.
They're real.
They're just afraid of bumping into stuff.
This may surprise you, but I actually have a history of helping out horrible monsters in need.
This may surprise you, but I don't like being called a horrible monster.
We will find your eggs, for I have detected a clue! [gasps.]
A piece of wool! And who do we know who is woolly and seeks treasure? [gasps.]
Angus the sheep! I like sheepies.
Indeed! We will go at once to his fabulous grotto! Esme, I think you are a little young for this mission.
But I know what the eggs look like! And Sally can't see so good in the daytime.
All right, Esme, but stay behind us.
[giggles.]
I am coming, too! To protect Esme from Things that don't exist.
Come, my friends! To the grotto of riches! [bleating.]
And that's how flint can be used to start a fire.
How was that? Perfect! Except for one thing.
Flint is a mineral, it is not seven birds who live in a magic tree.
Angus and Mary, it is [grunting.]
Hold it, hold it! It's Puss in Boots! Sorry about that.
[bleats.]
Sorry! Reflex.
[groans.]
[bleating.]
Hello! Sorry to bother you, but - Sheepies! - [bleating.]
Can we help you? Have you seen my eggs? Always glad to help a mythological creature.
So, what do your eggs look like? White? Silver? Rainbow-colored? They're like beautiful shining jewels.
Giant jewels? Nice! And, they're incredibly dangerous.
Beautiful and dangerous? Spicy! Not this, right? Uh I don't - Esme! - Nope! Nope.
Wow, kinda wish I had taken them, but no.
Sorry, I can't help.
But I found this at the crime scene! [sniffs.]
Oh, please.
That's not lamb's wool! It's the kind of cheap fluff you'd use to stuff a child's toy! Then what is it from? - [bleating.]
- [giggling.]
It's some of the stuffing from my bear.
[Puss.]
Why did you not mention this earlier? Because I wanted to visit the sheepies! The real eggs fell down a hole! Eh what hole? [gasps.]
The entrance to the Mole Kingdom! It's in the garden.
The eggs must have fallen down there! Sally, we will find your eggs yet.
To the Mole Kingdom! - [grunts.]
- [bleating.]
[burps.]
Eggs? So, you're gone for months, then you come down here wanting eggs? Well, you can just get your own dang breakfast, buddy boy! No! We are looking for her eggs! The gargoyle.
Have you seen my eggs? They're like beautiful, glittering gems.
Nah, sorry.
I'm not big on shiny junk, but I totally would've noticed if something like that fell down here.
But Esme said they did.
I just said that because I wanted to see the molies.
- [squeals.]
- Whoa! That's quite a hug you got there, kid.
What do you bench? About 220? [Esme laughs.]
Esme is picking up some bad habits with the fibbing.
I know, I don't know where she gets it.
There is nothing here! Anything you think you see over here is imaginary.
Over here.
In this general area.
Now I know.
Never give up, crazy pants.
I hear nothing! [Esme giggling.]
Esme, honey, this isn't a game anymore.
I need you to be a big kid for me now.
But if I'm a big kid, Señora Zapata says you'll go away forever.
Esme, I really need your help.
Where are my eggs? [Puss.]
The thieves' market.
In retrospect, we should have started here.
Yep.
I mean, giant jewels are missing Boom.
Thieves' market.
Well, hindsight's 20/20.
Hmm - [indistinct chattering.]
- Huh? Ugh.
- [grunts.]
- [yelps.]
[gasping.]
Señora Zapata, I don't think Sally is imaginary.
Everybody's looking at her.
[laughs.]
It is funny that you think that.
But really, they are all looking at me! Nobody's looking at you, Zapata.
Shut up, Claudio! Hola, Desmondo! Where can I find some giant, egg-shaped jewels? Do you think I am a fool? I'm not going to tell you that Ignacio has them! Ah-ha! [grunts.]
Darn it! [grunts.]
- Ignacio! - [yelps.]
I mean, welcome to Ignacio's House of Treasures! How may I help you? We understand you have some giant, egg-shaped jewels.
Yes? They are gargoyle eggs, we demand their return! Ha! They are not gargoyle eggs! Why does everybody keep saying that? They are a priceless treasure and they are going to make me rich! They are not treasure! They are the eggs of this gargoyle! [startled grunt.]
Hi.
[gasps.]
What gargoyle? I see no gargoyle! There is no gargoyle! Huh? Huh? Huh? No one's buying it! You have to give us the eggs! They're about to hatch and they'll be really dangerous.
No! You are not taking my treasure! They will make me rich! You may not know this about me, but I've always wanted to be rich.
It is a special quirk I have.
[grunts.]
Huh? Ha-ha! - [gasps, grunts.]
- [laughs.]
There is only one of you, and Puss in Boots is trying to steal from me! [all growling.]
All right, so there are several of you.
I am still more than a match for What? [clucking, crowing.]
[groans.]
This is a most unwelcome development.
Ha! [grunts.]
[gasps.]
Take her somewhere safe! [grunts.]
Thank you, invisible stranger! [grunting.]
It is actually pretty impressive that they've managed to tame those cockatrices! - I know, kudos to them, right? [yells.]
- [roaring.]
- [Sally.]
Dulcinea! - [gasps.]
I need you to be my eyes! Help me find my babies! - [screams.]
- [Dulcinea.]
Left! Right! - Behind you! - [grunts.]
[yells.]
[screams.]
[impact thuds.]
[grunts.]
Don't let them take my gargoyle eggs! I mean, my giant jewels! Wait, what? Those things are gargoyle eggs? [Puss grunting.]
En garde! [yelling, groaning.]
[cawing.]
- Uh-oh.
- [crowing.]
So we are fighting to stop them from taking away something dangerous? [Ignacio.]
No, no, no, no! Villain! You want to take them for yourself! No, I want Puss to take them! Far away! Like, now! [gasping.]
Gimme that.
[crowing.]
[grunts, yelps.]
- [panting.]
Incoming! - Huh? Whack! Look at Sally go! Did you see that? I did not see anything.
I'm sure it was just the wind.
[sighs.]
Fine.
Don't take my jewels! I want to be rich, like a king, only without the responsibilities and expectations of royalty! Give it up, Ignacio! These things are dangerous and we have to get them out of here! Come on, let go! - Your eggs! - [roars.]
[grunts, gasps.]
[growls.]
Give me back my eggs! Oh! [stammers.]
They're not eggs, they're jewels! - [squawking, crowing.]
- [shouting.]
[slow-motion yelling.]
[grunts.]
My eggs! [crashing.]
[gasps.]
The eggs! They're all right! [creatures clucking.]
[grunts.]
Oh, thank you! They're all right! Huh? Huh? [gasping.]
[screams.]
[squawking and chirping.]
These guys aren't dangerous! Look at them! They're so cute.
- Make that sound! - [squeaks.]
Oh, gosh! So cute.
Come on, make that sound again! [chirping.]
[squeaks.]
- [squawks.]
- [snarls.]
What's this? Here it comes! Boop! Uh Uh-uh! [scared grunting.]
Come on, guys, they don't [gasps.]
- [snarling.]
- bite? - [whimpers, screams.]
- [screeching.]
Oh [babies shrieking, roaring.]
Whoa! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
[panting.]
[screams.]
[gasps, screams.]
Run! It's okay, mija.
Those are just, uh, sparrows! You know, sometimes sparrows look more scary when they're flying straight at you and, you know, trying to bite you repeatedly.
[screams.]
It's okay, Esme.
Gargoyles are not real [shrieks.]
and they can't hurt us! [Puss and Dulcinea screaming.]
[screeching, snarling.]
[roaring.]
[gasps.]
- [roars.]
- No! Take her! [screams.]
Puss and Dulcinea are so worried about those babies.
They should just throw that net over them.
That's a wonderful idea, Esme.
But we don't have to, because they are not real.
Are you sure they're not real? Absolutely, mija.
They're no more real than my imaginary friend Peanut was.
Look, it's Peanut! Wha [gasps.]
Esme! [Esme grunts.]
[gasps.]
Esme! Hello, babies who aren't real! I have a nice net for you! - [roars.]
- [grunts.]
[roars.]
- [gasps.]
Esme! - [roars.]
All right! [all cheering.]
- Huzzah! - Hooray! [chuckles.]
[wailing.]
[groaning, gasps.]
My eggs! It's okay.
They're fine.
They're just fine.
[squawks, chirping.]
[gasps.]
Babies! [squeaks.]
So, you could see Sally all along? Yes.
I'm sorry, Esme.
I shouldn't have lied to you.
I just didn't know how else to protect you.
You didn't need to protect me from Sally.
She's wonderful.
They're all right now.
I fed 'em a couple of thieves.
Uh Just kidding! Or am I? I feel that you are not.
[chirping.]
I'm sorry I ignored you, Sally.
I was just afraid.
I'm happy that Esme has found such a nice friend.
Seems like she had some pretty great friends already.
Also, I paid that wizard to send you to the Netherworld.
Kinda figured that, yeah.
[strained grunting.]
Can you let go of my hand now? [gasps.]
Well, I'm afraid I have to get going.
No! Sorry, kiddo.
But I want to raise my babies back in Gargoylvania.
Is this a real place? [indifferent grunt.]
- [sniffing softly.]
- Aw, come on.
I'll come see you when they're older.
You betcha! Hmm [chuckles.]
Oh! Well [sighs.]
I am glad that all turned out well and everyone is happy and no one has any more problems.
- [yelps.]
- [clucking, squawking.]
Except for me.
Darn.
- [crowing.]
- [screams.]
[fast, lively flamenco music playing.]