The Afterparty (2022) s02e05 Episode Script


God, it's so quiet!
Can someone just say something?
- Like, anything.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, not you.
- Is my quiet contemplation
of my son's death not
chatty enough for you?
- Oh, my God.
- [ISABEL] While we wait for Sebastian
to finish his business dealings,
let's play a parlor game.
Those of us who did not murder Edgar
on one team, and Grace on the other.
[ZOË] You know what, Isabel?
It's funny you keep
accusing my sister
- Hmm.
- when the poison that killed Edgar
came from your daughter's garden.
- Is it?
- Yeah. Devil's trumpet.
It was one of the flowers
from your centerpieces.
I love the hue.
Devil's trumpet. I've only heard
of it used as a psychotropic aid,
the Aruk shaman of Chile brew it
in small doses to induce visions
Okay, we get it. You travel.
What exactly are you suggesting, hmm?
That my adopted daughter
murdered her own brother?
- Hannah, did you murder Edgar?
- No.
There you have it.
Vivian, did you kill my son?
What? Why would I?
Ah, see. That wasn't a "no," was it?
Okay, here's an idea. Perhaps,
you were all in on this together.
Maybe you hatched a little
family, get-rich-quick scheme.
We don't want your money.
Everyone wants our money.
You know, the more I think about
it, I'm pretty sure Sebastian did it.
Really? And why is that?
Well, Edgar secretly fired
him. Bombshell. Plus, he sucks.
[CHUCKLES] I get it, okay?
Grace looks guilty as hell right now
and it would be damn sweet if the guy
that's been charming your girl all
weekend, ended up taking the fall.
But, babe, let's stay levelheaded.
[STAMMERS] She wasn't charmed.
You think she was charmed?
The SEC's being a real
pair of granny's knickers.
I'm in a knife fight here, Charles,
and I'm holding a sausage. [SIGHS]
I'm gonna have to mute
you, mate. One moment.
Looky here, catch the killer yet?
Let me guess, was it the bride
who wouldn't sign the prenup?
- Do you have a few minutes to talk?
- Absolutely.
To the real police. Let
me know when they get here.
In the meantime, I'm a little busy.
Too busy to explain why
Edgar secretly fired your ass?
Or should we say, arse?
Let's have a chat.
Hey, uh, how is, uh,
your investigation going?
Not great.
First Isabel accuses my
sister of killing Edgar.
And then she goes after my
mom and my entire family.
Which actually makes me
think that she did it.
You know, like a, "whoever
smelt it dealt it" situation
[INHALES] but for murder.
Actually, we we've already
found some pretty damning, uh,
information about Sebastian.
I bet they all poisoned Edgar together.
And that is why they're accusing us.
Uh, I mean, we'd definitely
have to prove that.
Fine. That's what I'm going to do.
Wrong way.
[SEBASTIAN] Don't boil my house
peppers and call it Tuesday soup.
We're not done here. Ciao.
Oh, good. He's back.
Right, you have nine minutes
until my next call. Shoot.
So, Edgar.
Yes. He asked for my resignation.
And yes, I kept it a secret.
But I didn't kill him.
Hell, I wasn't even upset with him.
Not after last night.
I don't get it. If Edgar fired
you, why did you go to his wedding?
[CHUCKLES] To understand why I'm
here, you need to understand my past.
You see, Edgar and I are
from very different worlds.
He's from old money.
Whereas I grew up in a
trailer park in San Bernardino.
California? You're British.
No. I just sound British.
a good, old boy from the US of A.
- Wait, what?
- Holy shit.
Why would you lie about being British?
Because it makes me seem
charming and intelligent.
Who would you rather give money to?
This loser [IN BRITISH
ACCENT] or this fellow?
That one. The second one. I
definitely would do things to him.
did I come to the wedding?
Well, I guess you could say
I was after one last score.
I'd been pulling jobs since I was a kid.
Back then, I was a poor nobody
from the middle of dirtbag nowhere.
But I was a hustler.
And I had a homegrown crew.
My cousin, Jaxson.
And his brother, Judson.
Who was also my cousin.
What the hell? I slipped
on a puddle of soap.
Smashed my Yoo-hoo. What
kind of store is this?
My dad's a lawyer and he'll sue you
for everything you've got, mister.
[JAXSON] My knee's
clicking. Can you hear that?
My knee's never clicked before.
You little shits! You're going nowhere!
I'm talking about in life!
good. But he was right.
Pulling cheap cons with my dirtbag
cousins was a ticket to nowhere.
I had to get out of there. Fast.
So, with some fake test scores and
a forged letter of recommendation,
I conned my way into a full
ride at a fancy boarding school.
That's where I met Edgar.
Edgar was one of the
richest kids in the school.
What's this?
[SEBASTIAN] I knew he'd look down on me,
so I decided I would try
out a posh, new accent.
It's just my favorite
thing in the entire world.
It's a 1994 Justin Tunder rookie card.
American baseball. I can't get enough.
Tunder? He's a terrible infielder
with a .187 batting average.
That card is worthless.
Ah, but this is a misprint.
Turder. Turd. That's hysterical.
I like jokes. I want it. How much?
Oh, sorry, chap. It's not for sale.
Everything's for sale.
Why don't we play for it?
I win, I get the card. You
win, you can have my watch.
ACCENT] A watch worth more
than my old man's houseboat?
Too much to pass up.
But I knew a hustle when I saw one.
I wasn't gonna beat him at his own game.
But Connect Four? The poor kid's chess?
That, I could play.
[SIGHS] Again.
Best two out of three.
[SEBASTIAN] If I was a smart cookie,
Edgar was the whole goddamn platter.
No matter what I did, he always set
a trap so he'd have two ways to win.
That's four.
By the way, the accent's a nice
touch. But it needs some work.
[SEBASTIAN] Edgar saw right through me.
He took the only thing
of value I'd ever owned.
But I wasn't mad.
See, in the game of
life, Edgar was the house.
He got dealt a different
hand than the rest of us.
If you can't beat the house,
you have to become the house.
I convinced Edgar to team up. He'd
be the brains, I'd be the face.
And the ass. And the abs.
I'd like to see all of those.
- You got a warrant?
- Mm-hmm.
What are you doing?
We were a perfect team.
Started pulling small cons.
The Spanish Prisoner, Norseekee Twist,
- even a Mwamba Shuffle.
- What?
Then, after college, we launched
the biggest hustle of them all.
A totally legal hedge fund.
Built the whole biz from the ground up.
With nothing but a $2.4
million loan from Edgar's dad.
We were unstoppable. Rolling in cash.
Until Edgar pulled us into crypto.
had my doubts but you were right.
Bucephalus is through the roof.
I see you've, uh, upgraded
the old security on the safe.
Well, it holds the keys
to my cryptocurrency,
which, as you've just noted, is
now worth quite a lot of money.
it could have been worth more.
You held back 20% of our capital.
But I told you to invest everything.
It was 20%. We were exposed.
The only thing exposed
was your lack of faith.
- You cost me millions.
- Oh, come on.
You're fired, Sebastian.
You can't be serious.
Edgar, it was a hedge.
Crypto is volatile. It's
It's all about perception.
Everything is about perception.
Take the Mona Lisa.
It's a middling portrait of
a woman who's a six at best.
And yet, we've all decided it's a
priceless masterpiece and so it is.
Or take that turd card
that I took from you
the first day we met.
Now, to some, a dog, say,
it's just a piece of cardboard,
but it has tremendous value because
we've assigned it tremendous value
which is why I cannot
have you undermining me.
But we're partners.
[STAMMERS] We've been
together for decades.
You're You're gonna throw
all of that away over this?
Tell you what [SIGHS]
I'm gonna give you Monday as a
deadline to hand in your resignation
because I don't want anything to be
awkward at the wedding this weekend.
You expect me to still come
to your wedding after this?
Of course. I mean,
this is just business.
You're still my best man.
[DANNER] Damn. That's cold as hell.
That doesn't sound
like the Edgar I knew.
He was very nice to me actually.
[IN AMERICAN ACCENT] That's because
he didn't want anything from you.
You were of absolutely zero
value to him, whatsoever.
[ANIQ] I wouldn't say zero value.
I helped him tie his bow tie, so
Ah, adorable.
When it came to business,
Edgar was ruthless.
I'd helped him build his empire
and he was gonna clean me out?
I couldn't take that lying down. And
the wedding was the perfect cover.
But for a heist this big,
I was gonna need one hell of a
- The fuck?
- You great, big knob.
How the devil are you?
Yeah, sorry. I was just
having a piss in the loo.
minutes. [NORMAL] Talk to me.
[FENG] I told you not to
take those centerpieces.
I know. What are we going to do, huh?
We can't just walk out holding these.
Hear me out. We flush them.
- Down the toilet?
- Yeah, we'll do it carefully.
- There's, like, a hundred flowers here.
- Okay, one stem at a time.
[ISABEL] Well, well, well.
[CHUCKLES] We can explain this.
[FENG] Wait.
[SEBASTIAN] Yeah, of course.
Toodle-pip, matey.
Cheerio, me old mucker.
[IN AMERICAN ACCENT] Right, where was I?
I think it was something
about putting together a team?
Teams play softball.
When you're pulling a
heist, you need a crew.
I needed professional criminals.
Guys Edgar had never met before.
Prison has actually
been really great for me.
I mean, it's given me time.
Which is exactly what I
needed to finish the album.
When the world hears
what I've been cooking up
behind these very thick walls,
you might as well give
me another life sentence
because I will be guilty of killing it.
One time for pushing
- And the other time for singing ♪
- Sir, I'm your attorney.
These bars can't hold ♪
These bars ♪
Stop. Okay, this is what it's about.
These bars, as in prison,
can't hold these bars,
the song that I'm
singing to you. Right now.
I feel like the acoustics
are real messed up.
What if I take you to the prison shower?
The acoustics there are unbelievable.
By the way, what does
"for life" actually mean?
'Cause I feel like
I've been here enough.
It's our cousin Seabass, come
flopping back to our humble shores.
What did they get you for this time?
Simple smash and grab.
Judson fucked it up.
What? No, you fucked it up.
I was supposed to smash,
you were supposed to grab.
Yeah, but I like smashing, shithead.
- Guys. Hey!
- You can't grab me now, asshole.
[SEBASTIAN] Ladies, stop it.
What if I told you I could
spring you out of here?
- What's in it for us?
- We don't want your charity.
I need you for a job. A big one.
And the warden owes me a favor.
Here's the mark. Edgar
Minnows. And here's the score.
This safe, here.
Hidden behind three layers of security.
[WHISTLES] Job like this?
You're looking at at least
A Fatboy Slim, a pudding slinger
and the dumbest Lee Majors of all time.
And here is how we're gonna do it.
Word is the wedding
deejay's not feeling so hot.
Judson, maybe you could check up on him.
Well, you look like shit.
Maybe you should go home.
[SEBASTIAN] I heard the
caterer's understaffed.
Jaxson, maybe you could lend a hand.
I'll need four and a half minutes
to get to the safe and crack it.
I'll need a distraction. I'm thinking
[JUDSON] First dance? I'm on it.
[JAXSON] Four and a half minutes?
Hot damn. How tough is that safe?
[SEBASTIAN] Nearly impossible.
First up, a keypad with ten
million possible combinations.
- Leave that to me.
Second, a retinal scan,
but it's not for Edgar.
So, I'll need you two to
Thump that lizard and pop
out her eyeballs? Done.
What? No. Jesus Christ.
I'll need you to run a distraction
so that I can steal the lizard.
Fine. But at some point this
weekend, I will thump someone.
- Really?
- What about this third level?
The horsey box?
That horsey box is a solid steel case
with a six-letter alphabetical code.
I haven't cracked it yet.
What do you mean you
haven't cracked it yet?
Yeah. Without that code
we're like Leo in the Titanic.
Hot for a guy who doesn't work
out, but dead in the water.
I will figure it out,
okay? I just need more time.
I'm late for dinner.
[SEBASTIAN] I needed to convince Edgar
that nothing would be
awkward at the wedding.
I wasn't sure you'd make it.
Why wouldn't I make it?
After all, I'm your best man.
I flirted with the maid of honor,
introduced the surprise guest
after you spit all over Vivian,
I had another drink and
slipped off to Edgar's office.
But on the way there
[EDGAR] I know your secret, Vivian.
And if you don't tell, I will.
[WHISPERS] Edgar, please. There is
more to this than you understand.
Hold up. Now Vivian had a secret? Hmm.
That's interesting.
But I mean, is it a bad secret?
Or was it just like, something fun?
We don't know, right? Probably
no way we could ever know.
We could ask her.
[SEBASTIAN] With the coast clear,
it was time to enact
part one of the plan.
You can imagine my surprise
when I discovered I wasn't alone.
But hey, what's a heist
without a little competition?
[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Well, well, well.
Seems as though I've caught you
with your hand in the biscuit tin.
Sebastian Drapewood. I wondered
when we'd come face to face.
Looks like I've busted you having
a little tinkle in the deep end.
Oh, I was just looking for
some termites in the undercarriage.
Drop the act. I know why
you're here. That safe.
What, you mean that safe?
That one, yeah. There's over
$200 million of crypto in there.
You mean Bucephalus, right?
I know all about it.
The only question I have for you is
- "What is it?"
- Sorry, what?
It's a compound word.
- I know phallus is a man's
- Yes.
But the Buce part
Bucephalus. It's the name of
Alexander the Great's horse.
You see, Edgar's old
man was named Alexander,
and, being a narcissist, he was
obsessed with Alexander the Great.
And Edgar was obsessed with his old man.
ACCENT] The final passcode!
It had to be the name of
Edgar's father's horse.
But what was that damn horse called?
I needed a way to get the name
without raising Edgar's suspicion.
Don't touch anything.
pull a classic Don Juan honey stick.
[IN BRITISH ACCENT] Good evening.
Couldn't sleep.
Thought you might like a
- Not interested.
- Righto.
said, a Don Juan honey stick.
there. I couldn't sleep.
Thought you might like a drink.
Sebastian Drapewood. What are
you doing here at this hour?
I think we both know
what goes on at this hour.
Oh, I had no idea you felt that way.
- Mmm. Maybe it's the love in the air.
Maybe it's all that [INHALES]
white wine and garlic
wafting off your body.
- Oh.
- [ANIQ] With Isabel?
ACCENT] For a score like this,
you do what you have to do.
want you to ride me
the same way your
dead husband rode
What was the name of his horse again?
What is this? Did Edgar
put you up to this?
Did your son send me
here to sleep with you?
Get out.
Um Could I just
Get out.
I need my pants.
Get out before you lose
more than those trousers.
- Goodbye.
I had to get back to my cottage
without drawing any attention.
It was gonna take more than
a multi-point security system
with floodlights and
infrared sensors to catch me.
All I had to do was
stay in the blind spots.
- Oh, fuck.
What the hell?
- Aniq?
- You know, thanks to you,
my girlfriend's parents thought
we were hooking up in the bushes.
You wish. Only when
I'm drunk and in Europe.
Everybody in. Come on, I
have something to show you.
- What's going on?
- Are those my centerpieces?
That's proof. Proof
that Grace killed my boy
and Vivian and Feng supplied the poison.
Why else would they have
all of these flowers?
- There's a perfectly good explanation
- I can explain!
- if you just let us speak!
- [BOTH] Oh, my God. [GIGGLING]
What? What is so amusing?
I don't know. [LAUGHS]
But I'm laughing too.
You only think this proves something
because you don't know our mom.
Mom, dump out your purse.
- Yeah, show them.
- Okay
- Okay, girls. Just Okay.
- [ZOË] Yeah, do it.
- [GRACE] Mom, do it.
- [FENG] Girls. Just
- Hai. [SIGHS]
- [CHUCKLES] Okay, just
- I Uh
She never leaves a restaurant
without pocketing all the Sweet'N Low.
Like all of them.
It's true, and she doesn't even
like Sweet'N Low. [CHUCKLES]
It's too sweet.
You see, she only gathered
all of the centerpieces
'cause she didn't wanna waste them.
Yeah. She's not a killer.
[CHUCKLING] She's just cheap.
Frugality is a virtue.
You're just the definition of prudence.
So, should I hide the silverware?
- Oh, come on.
- Why you gotta be like that?
- Wow, Karen. Wow.
- You're like, so salty all the time.
Wait a second!
The Devil's Trumpet is
missing from this one.
So, it was the poison.
And we were all at the
rehearsal in the barn,
- so that means anybody could have done it.
- The horse ate it!
Anybody could've done it. Exactly.
It was the morning of the wedding
and I still didn't have
the code to the horse box.
But it was go time.
Gentlemen. You scrub up well.
Are you going to the wedding?
Our ride never showed.
Hey, hey! Look who I found.
The crew were in place.
Now it was my turn.
Look at you, old boy.
Who's the face of the operation now?
I need my cuff links.
And they're in my, uh
you grab Aniq for me?
I I need some help tying my bow tie,
and he seems like he'd
have a knack for knotting.
- Oh, I could tie it.
- I'd prefer Aniq.
I knew he'd kick me out
so I couldn't see the keypad.
- That's why I planted the pen.
One down, two to go.
But I still needed the
code for the horse box.
he is. The hand kisser.
Come on, man.
So, it was time for a Hail Mary.
Isabel, about last night
No, listen, I threw all of your things
out the window, except your underpants.
Yeah, I'm keeping those.
Fair enough. Listen, when I asked
you about the name of Alexander's
No, you listen to me.
You tell Edgar I remember everything.
The horse's name was Nutmeg.
- Nutmeg?
- Nutmeg.
[ANIQ] Six letters. The code.
And she just gave it to you?
Yep. But there was a setback.
mean you're not having a first dance?
You know how Edgar gets in front
of crowds. It's too much for him.
You have to have one.
You're a partnership now. It's 50-50.
Don't let him take what's yours.
I do really want a first dance.
That's more like it. Have
a long one. Enjoy yourself.
all I needed was that lizard.
Okay, gang. Here's an idea.
How about we try one without Roxana?
Aniq can grab her.
- That's all right, isn't it, Edgar?
- Of course. Aniq's trustworthy.
Lee Majors has the bounty.
Jaxson, it's go time.
Hors d'oeuvre, sir?
Ooh! What's this?
Fish piles?
Oh, well, I don't mind if I do.
You know, Ahi Tuna and Yellowfin Tuna
- That's interesting.
- are two different names. Same fish.
[CHUCKLES] Uh Oh, no.
Ro Roxana?
You son of a bitch.
Judson, you're up.
Uh, Seabass, we got a problem.
The, uh, couple just picked their first
dance song. It's 40 seconds too short.
Well, vamp, damn it. Vamp!
I'm on it.
Ladies and gentlemen.
If I can get your attention
to the dance floor.
It is time for our happy
couple's first dance.
But before they dance, I'd like
to say a few words if I may.
I have deejayed a lot of weddings.
The majority of them end up
folding like a cheap lawn chair.
Yeah, I'm talking about divorce.
- I've been divorced three times myself.
The fourth is currently pending.
If she thinks she's
gonna get that Sea Doo,
man, she really is out
of her fucking mind.
Divorce law doesn't cover
watercraft. That's maritime law.
But when I look at this couple
right here, I think to myself,
"Now there's a couple that's gonna
spend a long and happy life together."
Anyhoo, here's this song.
Hey, that was a terrific
toast. The music's good too.
You mind if I post up back here
with you? I need a bird's eye.
Why would you need to do that?
Let's just say some criminal shit
is definitely going down tonight.
- [JUDSON] Oh, no.
- I'm on it.
Oh, shit. Seabass, come in.
- Seabass. Come in.
- I don't know what
You had an alarm on
the safe, didn't you?
I'm only here for what's mine.
But it's not yours. I
I won it fair and square.
This was never fair.
Why don't we play for it?
Just like old times.
May the best man win.
Oh, my God. S-E-C-4.
Sebastian, Edgar, Connect Four!
No wonder I couldn't solve it.
It's not a puzzle, it's a scorecard.
Edgar had been keeping tally for years.
But this wasn't just
a game of Connect Four.
This was my one shot to
finally beat the house.
No matter where I played,
he had a winning move.
He set me up, just like he
used to. Two ways to win.
We both know how this ends, Sebastian.
Oh, pick one.
You know what? I'm
gonna let you have this.
But I can't let you take all of
it because that would be too risky.
- I should hold on to, uh, 20%, right?
Call it a hedge?
Now, get the hell out of my office.
You definitely killed that dude.
Why would I kill Edgar?
Because he chopped up your turd card.
Except he didn't, did he?
What? But how?
[SEBASTIAN] I was never
gonna take my card
from his safe without replacing it.
I couldn't have Edgar
realizing it was gone.
So, I bought another
one without the typo.
I made sure I had two ways to win.
Like I said, I wanted to
beat Edgar at his own game.
So, that's your whole story?
Why were you drowning your
sorrows at the after-party?
I wasn't. I was celebrating.
Oh, yeah. There was one thing
there that might interest you.
When I got to the bar, I saw
Ulysses doing something to a glass.
Everything all right, kemosabe?
Of course.
What can I get you?
[DANNER] So what exactly was
Ulysses doing with the glass?
know. But he was hiding something.
Something he didn't want me to see.
Ugh, I gotta get this.
So, I didn't kill Edgar.
I left millions in that safe.
And this card is worth,
what? Mid six figures?
It's basically just sentimental value.
We done?
you goateed fucker. How are you?
Remember how I told you
I'd never tell your wife
about that night we had in Prague?
- I think it's clear, we've got our guy.
- That's not our guy.
What did you say? Got or not?
- Not.
- What?
The only person who can corroborate
his story is Edgar, who's dead.
We need to figure
out what he was talking
about when he said
Zoë's mom had secrets.
And what's going on with
this uncle and a glass?
What, you wanna
interrogate Zoë's family?
No. No, no, no. We can't do
that. They didn't kill Edgar.
Look, I get it.
But if we wanna find the truth,
we have to stay objective.
Oh, yeah, like you just
were with Sebastian?
I mean, you spent the whole
interview trying to bang him.
I was telling him
what he wanted to hear.
He's a charmer. I let
him think he charmed me.
When folks get
comfortable, they slip up.
Well, that's actually very smart.
- I know.
- But I'm supposed to be clearing
Grace's name, not [GROANS]
Zoë's not gonna like this.
And I really need her
parents to like me.
Don't make the same mistakes I did.
What's that mean?
- Have a seat.
- What?
- Sit down!
- I actually am already.
I have a confession to make.
I wasn't exactly honest
about why I left the force.
And I did some things
I shouldn't have done
because sometimes when
you're too close to something,
you can't see the truth.
Do your job.
Cleaning the pool?
Someone has to.
Lot of dead bees.
It's very sad.
I'm sorry Isabel was kind of a
Well, as they say in French, a bitch.
I told Aniq and that lady about us.
I know.
But I didn't tell them everything.
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