The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s04e04 Episode Script

The Pest; The Sale

[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ SNORING .]
[ THUDDING .]
[ POP! .]
BRBRBR! WHAT IS THAT?! HUA! HAH! [ CRACK! .]
DAAH! HAH! [ WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! .]
HUA! HAH! [ Distorting .]
I LOVE YOU.
HYAH! HA! HUA! [ WHOOSH! .]
OKAY, I ADMIT I SWAPPED YOUR SMASHED PILLS FOR TURTLE FLAKES, AND THAT'S WHY EVERYONE AT SCHOOL CALLS YOU KRAKEN BREATH! AND I KEPT MESSING UP YOUR SUNSCREEN WHEN YOU WERE BORN! YOU DIDN'T REALLY HAVE A FACIAL BIRTHMARK IN THE SHAPE OF A GOAT! I THOUGHT IF YOU LOOKED CURSED, MOM WOULDN'T LOVE YOU MORE THAN ME! AND I PUT STONES IN YOUR POCKETS WHEN YOU WERE A BABY 'CAUSE I WAS SCARED YOU'D GROW TALLER THAN ME, WHICH IS WHY YOU'RE MEDICALLY CLASSIFIED AS A CEPHALOPOD! I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING.
YOU GONNA HIT ME? [ SIGHS .]
THIS ISN'T ABOUT YOU.
OHHH, THANK HEAVENS.
KSSHT! DARWIN, ABORT THE MISSION.
SO, IF YOU'RE NOT ANGRY AT GUMBALL, WHO ARE YOU ANGRY AT? SOME KID AT SCHOOL.
HE'S GOING TO WISH HE'D NEVER BEEN BORN.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.
YOU CAN'T JUST GO INTO SCHOOL AND BEAT UP KIDS YOU DON'T LIKE.
IF WE RESORT TO VIOLENCE, WE'RE NO BETTER THAN BEASTS.
LIKE WOLVES OR BEARS OR EAGLES.
WHICH ARE ACTUALLY PRETTY RAD ANIMALS.
BUT DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE AWESOME ANIMALS WOULD SAY ABOUT THIS? THEY WOULD SAY [ GROWL, ROAR, BELLOW! .]
WHICH PROBABLY MEANS, "VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER.
" BUT -- NO.
YOU'RE GONNA PATCH THINGS UP WITH THIS PEST WITH THE HELP OF YOUR BIG BROTHER.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
OKAY, FIRST, I WANT YOU TO LEARN WHAT IT MEANS TO HURT SOMEONE.
I'M THE ONE WHO -- NO ARGUING! YOU WANT TO USE VIOLENCE, THEN FIRST YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND HOW IT MAKES PEOPLE FEEL! WAIT, WHAT? HIT HIM.
GUYS, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
DO IT! [ SLAP! .]
OH, I FEEL PAIN! BUT ALSO SORROW.
ISN'T THERE A BETTER SOLUTION TO OUR PROBLEM? [ THUD! .]
GAAH! THE VIOLENCE INFLICTED UPON ME HAS INSTILLED A RAGE! THAT CAN ONLY LEAD TO MORE VIOLENCE.
[ THUD! .]
AAH! AS AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER, I FEEL UNJUSTLY HURT.
THE VIOLENCE HAS NOW BECOME A VICIOUS CIRCLE.
SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU LET YOURSELF BE AN INSTRUMENT OF VIOLENCE? EVERYONE GETS HURT.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
I'M THE ONE WHO'S GETTING PICKED ON.
THEN FORGET EVERYTHING I SAID.
[ FWOOSH! .]
LET'S NAIL THIS GUUUY! COME ON, MAN.
WE BOTH KNOW THIS IS JUST POSTURING.
YEAH, BUT I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BUY IT IF I WENT BIG.
LET'S JUST TRY TO FIND AN ACTUAL SOLUTION.
OKAY, I PRINTED OFF A LIST OF SOLUTIONS FOR DEALING WITH PESTS, FROM THE EXPERTS ON ELMORE-PEDIA.
WHO WROTE IT? WHOEVER LOGGED INTO THE WEBPAGE WITHIN THE LAST THREE MINUTES.
THAT COULD BE ANYONE.
HOW DO WE KNOW THEY'RE AN EXPERT? DON'T WORRY.
ON THE INTERNET, EVERYONE'S AN EXPERT.
SOLUTION NUMBER 1 -- YOU NEED TO STOP FEELING POWERLESS.
SOLUTION NUMBER 2 -- IF THEY'RE GETTING YOU DOWN, TRY BOOSTING YOUR SELF-ESTEEM.
SO, ANAIS, LOOK AT YOURSELF.
WHAT DO YOU SEE? NOTHING.
NOW WHAT DO YOU SEE? [ SIGHS .]
I SEE AN UGLY, DROOLING RABBIT.
[ GASPS .]
THAT'S NOT TRUE.
OH.
WHAT I SEE IS A RADIANT LITTLE GIRL.
OR A REALLY SMELLY ONE.
A YOUNG LADY WHO SMILES AT LIFE.
IN SPITE OF HER REALLY POOR DENTAL HYGIENE.
A GIRL WHO CONFIDENTLY LOOKS TO THE FUTURE.
AND THE PAST AT THE SAME TIME.
LOOK, I GET WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO DO, BUT TRUST ME, THIS KID IS TOO ANNOYING.
EVERY WORD THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH MAKES ME ANGRIER THAN A GOAT ON FIRE! A goat on ANYWAY, THAT BRINGS US NEATLY ONTO SOLUTION NUMBER 3 -- IGNORING HIM.
I'LL SHOW YOU.
[ Echoing .]
I AM ENTERING A STATE OF CALM, [ BIRDS CHIRPING .]
WHERE NO WORDS OR ACTIONS CAN HARM ME.
GO ON.
TRY ME.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY, I CANNOT BE AFFECTED.
YOU CAN SCREAM AS MUCH AS YOU LIKE, BUT NOTHING -- All: HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! HUT! AS I WAS -- [ WHIFFLE! THUD! .]
SOLUTION 4 -- TRY TO AVOID THE PERSON WHO HAS UPSET YOU.
HOW? WE'RE IN THE SAME SCHOOL.
SIMPLE -- YOU JUST STAY 20 FEET AWAY FROM HIM AT ALL TIMES.
LIKE THIS.
NOW, TAKE A STEP.
SEE? THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO HURT ME FROM THIS DISTANCE.
[ SCHOOL BELL RINGS .]
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY SAFE.
THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN -- UGH.
[ CLANG, THUD! .]
SOLUTION NUMBER 5 -- ASK AN AUTHORITY FIGURE FOR HELP.
AW, MAN.
WHY DIDN'T THEY MAKE THAT SOLUTION NUMBER 1? VERY WELL.
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM WITH THIS KID BOTHERING YOU? HE DOESN'T LIKE ME.
I SEE WELL, THERE MUST BE SOMETHING IN THIS RULE BOOK FOR WHEN PEOPLE DON'T LIKE YOU.
WEIRD.
THERE'S NOTHING.
HOW ABOUT A RULE AGAINST YOU EVER HAVING TO FACE DISAPPOINTMENT? NO.
MAYBE ONE ABOUT OVERPROTECTED LITTLE SNOWFLAKES WHO NEED TO BE SHIELDED FROM THE REAL WORLD?! OKAY, WE GET IT.
BUT, PLEASE, THIS KID'S HORRIBLE.
YOU WANT TO SEE HORRIBLE? BASHED ON THE HEAD WITH A ROCK BY TWO HOMO ERECTUS PARENTS BECAUSE I TAUGHT THEIR KID HOW TO MAKE FIRE.
GOT CHASED OUT OF THE TRIBE FOR TRYING TO INTEGRATE THE WHEEL INTO THE CURRICULUM.
ON THE DAY OF COLUMBUS' ARRIVAL -- UH, FORGET IT! I FELL OVER ON A WET FLOOR.
THE TIMING WAS JUST COINCIDENCE, BUT IT STILL REALLY HURT.
SALEM, 1692 -- WITCH HUNT.
[ THUD! .]
[ SIGHS .]
THERE'S NO SOLUTIONS LEFT.
GUESS I'LL GO BACK TO DESTROYING MY ENEMY! AND YOU KNOW THE BEST WAY TO DESTROY AN ENEMY? NO, I MEAN TO MAKE SURE THEY STOP.
NO, I MEAN TO GET RID OF THEM FOREVER.
TKA, TKA, TKA, TKA! BOOPITY, BOOPITY, BOOPITY! NEEEEROW! POW! WHAT WAS THAT? A TACTICAL SATELLITE ATTACK.
NO, ANAIS.
THE ONLY WAY TO DESTROY AN ENEMY FOREVER IS TO MAKE THEM YOUR FRIEND.
[ RINGS .]
ALL RIGHT, LET'S MAKE FRIENDS WITH THIS MONSTER.
WHERE IS HE? [ Dramatically .]
DUN-DUN-DUN! ACTUALLY, LET'S DO THAT AGAIN.
WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAH! BILLY? [ Laughing .]
SERIOUSLY? [ Mockingly .]
LITTLE BILLY? LITTLE BILLY BEING MEAN TO YOU? [ LAUGHS .]
DON'T LET HIM FOOL YOU.
HE'S MORE ANNOYING THAN DANCING IN A SHOE THAT GOES [SQUEAK!.]
.
I THINK WE'LL BE FINE.
ALSO, WHAT'S UP WITH ALL THESE WEIRD METAPHORS? OH, HELLO, ANAIS.
WHY DO YOU LOOK SO PERTURBED? IS IT A BEE IN YOUR BONNET? OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT.
'TWAS ON YOUR TEST PAPER.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ HISSES .]
OH, HELLO, GUMBALL.
NICE SWEATER.
OH, 2011 CALLED AND SAID TO KEEP IT, AS IT WASN'T COOL WHEN YOU STARTED WEARING IT.
[ LAUGHS .]
[ HISSES .]
ANAIS, DO YOU NOT HANG OUT WITH ANYONE WHO ISN'T A MEMBER OF YOUR FAMILY? OH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT.
YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER FRIENDS.
[ LAUGHS .]
OKAY, WE WERE WRONG.
ANAIS, DESTROY THIS GUY.
[ INHALES DEEPLY .]
ANAIS, WHERE ARE YOU? [ DOOR CLOSES .]
RIGHT, THAT'S IT.
[ SLAP! .]
THE GAUNTLET HAS BEEN THROWN DOWN.
NOBODY TALKS TO MY SISTER LIKE THAT.
[ CLUNK, WHACK! .]
[ GRUNTS .]
I ACCEPT.
WE SHALL DUEL AT NOON IN THE SCHOOL YARD.
ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO THIS! [ INHALES DEEPLY .]
I CAN'T DO THIS.
WHAT? I CAN'T FIGHT A LITTLE KID.
IT'S NOT A FAIR MATCH.
[ GASPS .]
I KNOW.
[ GRUNTING .]
HMM.
I SUPPOSE IT MAKES IT MORE FAIR.
BUT WHY THE STUFF UP YOUR NOSE? GIVE MYSELF A HANDICAP.
WHY DO YOU NEED YOUR SENSE OF SMELL IN A FIGHT? TO SMELLFEAR? LORD WATTERSON, 'TIS TIME TO PAY FOR YOUR OFFENSE.
CHOOSE YOUR WEAPON -- FIGHTING STAFF OR FISTS? WEAPONS? ARE YOU CRAZY? FISTS! I CHOOSE FISTS! VERY WELL.
I CHOOSE THE STAFF.
WHAT? I THOUGHT WE -- GAAH! [ GRUNTING .]
[ LAUGHS .]
YOU CAN HIDE, BUT YOU CAN'T RUN.
[ LAUGHS .]
LESLIE, YOUR SCISSORS! COME BACK, YOU CON! OH, MAN, ISN'T THERE ANYTHING DANGEROUS LEFT IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS? [ GASPS .]
GUMBALL, USE THIS STALE CRINKLE-CUT FRY! [ SHING! .]
AAH! WHOA! CAN'T WE JUST STOP AND TALK THIS THROUGH?! OH, CAN YOU ONLY DO ONE THING AT ONCE? LUCKILY, I CAN MOVE MY BODY AND MOUTH AT THE SAME TIME, SO I MAY CONCURRENTLY FIGHT YOU AND TELL YOU HOW BADLY YOU ARE LOSING.
IF YOU WANT TO BEAT ME, YOU'VE GOT TO BE FAST.
[ WHACK, THUD! .]
[ LAUGHS .]
DID YOU MEAN FAST ASLEEP? [ LAUGHS .]
[ WHACK! .]
GAH! DARWIN, THE KITCHEN -- I NEED A SWORD! [ MUFFLED .]
[ SIGHS .]
SOMETHING MORE HARD-CORE! OKAY, SOMETHING LESS HARD-CORE.
AHA! [ SHING! .]
NOW, GET READY FOR MY NEXT MOVE.
COME BACK AND FIGHT, YOU GUTLESS WORM! WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN AND SARCASTIC? CAN'T YOU JUST BE NICE? AAH! [ HONK! .]
OW! WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?! I AM DEFENDING MY HONOR.
WHAT'S SO HONORABLE ABOUT PICKING ON A LITTLE GIRL?! YOU'RE A GIRL? NO, DUDE, MY SISTER.
OH, YES, OF COURSE.
[ HONK! .]
OW! NEED I REMIND YOU THAT MATTERS BETWIXT YOUR SISTER AND I ARE NONE OF YOUR CONCERN, YOU CHARMLESS NINNY! DUDE, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO SOLVE THIS PROBLEM IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON! I COULD WRITE A WHOLE BOOK ABOUT THINGS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW.
WOULDN'T BE MUCH USE TO YOU, THOUGH.
THERE'D BE NO PICTURES IN IT.
[ HONK! .]
[ GRUNTS .]
WELL, IF I'M GONNA GET MY BUTT KICKED, I WANT TO KNOW WHY! YOUR VASTLY INFERIOR FIGHTING SKILLS MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT.
CAN I PLEASE JUST HAVE A NORMAL CONVERSATION WITH YOU? I DON'T KNOW, CAN YOU? [ SIGHS .]
ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH.
LET'S JUST STOP.
YES, YES, 'TISN'T WORKING, ANYWAY.
I REFUSE TO FIGHT! I BELIEVE IT WAS GANDHI WHO ONCE SAID, "DUDE, DON'T FIGHT.
TAKE A CHILL PILL AND EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.
" SO, WHAT THAT MEANS IS WE CAN WORK THIS OUT.
WHAT DO YOU THINK? I THINKI THINK I THINK YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DROPPED YOUR WEAPON! AHA! ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH! OM! [ POP! .]
IT'S OVER.
NOW, EXPLAIN YOURSELF.
WHY DO YOU HATE MY SISTER? [ SIGHS .]
THERE WAS ONCE A LITTLE BOY WHO -- CAN WE JUST STICK TO THE SUBJECT, PLEASE? THE BOY IS ME -- IT'S A STORY ABOUT ME.
OH, SORRY.
PLEASE CONTINUE.
BILLY WAS ONCE A HAPPY BOY.
MOTHER AND PAPA WERE PROSPEROUS AND TREATED HIM WELL, SHOWERING HIM WITH ALL MANNER OF GIFTS AND FANCIES.
AND AT SCHOOL, HE WAS TOP OF THE CLASS WITH MYRIAD FRIENDS.
YES, YOUNG BILLY HAD THE PERFECT LIFE, BUT SOMETIMES PERFECT IS NOT ENOUGH.
ONE DAY, HE MET A SUBLIME YOUNG LADY WITH WHOM HE HAD MUCH IN COMMON.
HE GAVE HER HIS HEART, BUT SHE DID NOT FEEL THE SAME AND SHE WRENCHED THE HEART IN TWAIN.
HURT AND HUMILIATED, POOR BILLY NOW HIDES IN THE SHADOW OF SPITE AND SARCASM.
OKAY, FIRST, HOW DID YOU DO THAT WITH YOUR HANDS? THAT WAS AMAZING.
AND SECONDLY, UH, JOIN THE CLUB, DUDE! [ Imitating .]
"LITTLE BILLY'S LIFE IS AWESOME, AND HE'S VERY INTELLIGENT AND RICH, BUT ANAIS DOESN'T LOVE HIM, SO NOW HE'S A BROKEN MAN.
" THINGS DON'T ALWAYS WORK OUT THE WAY YOU WANT IN LIFE, DUDE.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I MEAN EVERYONE IS SLIGHTLY UNHAPPY.
LIFE HAS HIGHS AND LOWS.
AND FOR THE RECORD, FOR MOST PEOPLE ON THIS PLANET, LIFE COMPLETELY BLOWS.
SO, WHY MAKE IT WORSE BY FIGHTING? OH, I FEEL RATHER SILLY.
SILLY BILLY.
AH, IT'S ALL RIGHT, MAN.
I WOULD BEND DOWN AND GIVE YOU A HUG, BUT I SWALLOWED THAT STUPID STICK OF YOURS.
DO YOU MIND? OF COURSE.
'TWOULD BE MY -- [ GRUNTS .]
[ PANTING .]
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN? I NEEDED A GOOD RUN UP TO GIVE HIM ALL I'VE GOT.
Billy: IS THIS ONE OF THOSE LOW POINTS YOU SPOKE OF? HOW MANY BENDS IN YOUR ARM? THREE! MM, YEAH, THAT'S ABOUT A MEDIUM.
[ BOTH GRUNTING .]
COME ON, GUYS.
MR.
ROBINSON SELLING HIS HOUSE IS NOT THE END OF THE WORLD.
MAYBE WE'LL GET SOME PLEASANT NEIGHBORS THIS TIME.
[ Deep voice .]
TAKE THAT BACK! [ Deep voice .]
NO NEIGHBOR COULD EVER REPLACE THE MIRACLE THAT IS GAYLORD ROBINSON! TAKE IT BACK! OKAY, OKAY, OKAY! I TAKE IT BACK.
DO IT PROPERLY! TAKE YOUR WORDS BACK! [ SPEAKING IN REVERSE .]
[ Normal voice .]
THANK YOU.
[ BOTH SIGH .]
BUT HOLD ON -- IF YOU ONLY JUST FOUND OUT HE'S LEAVING, HOW DID YOU MAKE THAT SHRINE SO QUICKLY? THAT? OH, WE'VE HAD THAT FOREVER.
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE US, WE HAVE SOME MOURNING TO DO.
[ Sobbing .]
WHY! WE HAD SO MUCH MORE TO GIVE! OH, TAKE ME INSTEAD! WHAT'S THAT ABOUT? OH, NOW I UNDERSTAND -- THAT I DEFINITELY DON'T SPEAK SIGN LANGUAGE.
[ Normal voice .]
OH, I'VE TAKEN A VOW OF SILENCE! WELL, YOU JUST BROKE IT! YOU DISHONORED MR.
ROBINSON'S MEMORY! Both: I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! YOU GUYS REALIZE HE'S STILL ALIVE? YOU'RE RIGHT.
HE IS STILL ALIVE -- IN HERE.
NO, HE'S HERE.
MOONING US.
[ BOTH GASP .]
WE'RE WASTING TIME! WE SHOULD BE OUT THERE CREATING PRECIOUS MOMENTS WITH HIM.
[ GRUNTING .]
I MUST BE GETTING OLD.
THIS IS MUCH HARDER THAN IT USED TO BE.
[ GRUNTING .]
WHAT THE --? [ GRUNTING .]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MAKING MEMORIES.
WE'RE NEVER GONNA SEE YOU AGAIN.
WE GOT TO MAKE EVERY MOMENT COUNT.
I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
WHY? BECAUSE I NEED TO MAKE THE HOUSE PERFECT BEFORE THE BUYERS SEE IT, AND ALSO BECAUSE I HATE YOU.
NO, "HATE" ISN'T QUITE THE RIGHT WORD.
IT'S MORE LIKE DESPISE.
NO, NO, MAYBE ABHOR.
YEAH.
I ABHOR YOU.
NO, YOU KNOW WHAT, I WAS RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.
I HATE YOU! YOU'RE THE MAIN REASON I'M MOVING! I UNDERSTAND.
YOU'RE PUSHING US AWAY SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONFRONT THE PAIN OF LEAVING.
NO, I'M PUSHING YOU AWAY BECAUSE I LIKE PUSHING YOU AWAY.
LET'S REMEMBER THE GOOD TIMES, AND MAYBE MAKE A FEW MORE.
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING .]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I DIDN'T GIVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE PHOTOGRAPHS.
BUT WE'VE GOT NOTHING TO REMEMBER YOU BY.
NOT EVEN A LOCK OF YOUR HAIR.
I'M BALD.
I'M NOT GONNA GIVE YOU MY EYEBROW.
HOW ABOUT WE JUST TAKE THIS THREAD? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITH IT? WE'LL TAKE IT HOME, COOK IT, AND EAT IT, SO YOU'LL BE A PART OF US FOREVER.
YOU'LL GO HOME? UH-HUH.
THEN IT'S ALL YOURS.
AH.
ARE WE DONE HERE? JUST GO.
AH, AH, AH, AH, AH OH, NO.
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! AH, AH, AH, AH, AH [ SIGHS .]
[ LEAF BLOWER WHIRS .]
PERFECT.
[ CELLPHONE RINGS, BEEPS .]
ALL RIGHT, YOU'RE ON YOUR WAY.
GREAT, GREAT, GREAT, GREAT.
[ LAUGHS NERVOUSLY .]
GET OUT OF HERE! I DON'T WANT YOU DAMAGING ANYTHING! WOMAN: Damage? There's damage in the house? NO, NO, NO, NO.
THERE'S NO DAMAGE OF ANY KIND.
[ CHUCKLES .]
SO, WE WERE WONDERING WHAT TO DO WHEN WE MISS EACH OTHER.
SHALL WE CHOOSE A STAR THAT WE CAN ALL WATCH AT THE SAME TIME? SURE, NO PROBLEM.
WOULD YOU PLEASE STOP ASKING ME STUPID QUESTIONS, YOU LITTLE BLOOD SUCKER?! Hey, who are you calling a sucker?! WHAT? OH, NO.
I DIDN'T CALL YOU A SUCKER.
NO, THERE'S A SMALL LEECH PROBLEM IN THE GARDEN.
UH, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
HOW ABOUT WE SWAP SHIRTS SO WE CAN ALWAYS REMEMBER EACH OTHER'S SMELL.
[ SNIFFS .]
I DON'T WANT YOUR RANCID STINK IN MY HOUSE! NO, NO, NO, NOT YOU.
I DO WANT YOUR SMELL.
YEAH, YEAH.
MR.
ROBINSON? MR.
ROBINSON? OF COURSE, I REALIZE THAT'S A WEIRD THING TO SAY TO A STRANGER.
MR.
ROBINSON? YES, WE CAN.
MR.
ROBINSON? WE CAN END THIS CONVERSATION, YES.
MR.
ROBINSON? I'LL SEE YOU AS SOON AS YOU -- STOP YOUR YAPPING! [ Dial tone .]
NO, NO, NO, NO! [ SIGHS .]
Mr.
Robinson.
WHAT? DO YOU WANT YOUR GOODBYE PRESENT NOW? DOES A PRESENT INVOLVE YOU LEAVING? KIND OF, I GUESS.
AHH.
[ SLOW-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS .]
WHAT IS THIS?! THIS SONG'S OUR PARTING GIFT TO YOU LIKE WE'VE SEEN PEOPLE IN MOVIES DO THEY'RE NOT GREAT MOVIES, SURE, THAT'S TRUE BUT WE'LL SEE THIS THROUGH I GUESS IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE Both: BUT THERE'S ONE THING YOU NEED TO KNOW WE'LL NEVER REALLY LET YOU GO WHEN YOU WAKE AND WHEN YOU SLEEP NEAR OR FAR, YOU MUST BELIEVE WE'LL NEVER REALLY LET YOU GO OHH, OHH! MOUNTAINS HIGH OR RIVERS DEEP WE'LL BE THERE, WE'RE YOURS TO KEEP WE'RE YOURS FOR KEEPS WE'RE NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO OH, OH OH, OH, OH-OH-OH WE WON'T FORGET YOUR SMILE OR SMELL WHOO, WHOO-HOO-HOO WE LOVE THEM BOTH, YOU KNOW FULL WELL WE'RE NEVER GOING TO LET YOU GO OH! WE'RE NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO AHH, AHH NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO NEVER GONNA LET YOU GO Both: AH, AH, AH, AH AHHHHH [ LAUGHS .]
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT.
LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.
THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, DUDE.
THEY'RE HERE, READY TO SIGN THE PAPERS.
THEN WE'RE GONNA LOSE MR.
ROBINSON FOREVER.
OH, MR.
ROBINSON, IF YOU COULD HEAR THIS, GIVE US A SIGN.
TELL US HOW WE CAN MAKE YOU STAY.
Echoing voice: SABOTAGE THE SALE.
SABOTAGE THE SALE.
SABOTAGE THE SALE.
DUDE, YOU COULD HAVE JUST TOLD ME.
OKAY.
SABOTAGE THE SALE.
OH! GOOD IDEA.
[ Snootily .]
NOW THAT YOU'VE SEEN THE GROUNDS, WOULD YOU BE SO KIND AS TO FOLLOW ME INTO THE MAIN HOUSE? I HAVE NO IDEA WHY I'M BOWING LIKE THIS OR SPEAKING LIKE THIS, BUT, UH, PLEASE, JUST IGNORE ME.
[ Normal voice .]
[ LAUGHS .]
I'LL PUT SOME COFFEE ON.
YOU TAKE YOUR TIME.
[ DOOR CLOSES .]
Gumball: [ Menacing voice .]
THERE'S EVIL IN THAT HOUSE! [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS .]
I SAID THERE'S EVIL IN THAT HOUSE.
[ SNOOOOORT! .]
[ SPIT! .]
[ SLURP! .]
[ SLURP! SLURP! .]
[ SLURP! .]
THIS IS AS FAR AS I'M WILLING TO TAKE YA.
[ Deep voice .]
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW.
YOU DIDN'T TAKE US ANYWHERE.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN NOW! YOU DIDN'T OKAY, THANK YOU.
YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN! [ SIGN SQUEAKS .]
[ PANTING .]
[ GASPS .]
[ SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS .]
[ GASPS .]
[ SHUDDERS .]
[ SWISH! .]
[ RAPID FOOTSTEPS .]
[ GASPS .]
AAH! WOULD YOU LIKE TO CHECK OUT THE BATHROOM? MAYBE LATER.
AAH! [ SLAM! .]
[ CRASH! .]
THIS IS MY WIFE, MARGARET.
UH, DON'T WORRY.
SHE DOESN'T COME WITH THE HOUSE.
[ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY .]
[ GROANS .]
HOW SAFE IS THE NEIGHBORHOOD? OH, WE'VE NEVER HAD ANY PROBLEMS.
I WOULD SAY IT'S PRETTY S-- [ SIREN WAILS .]
Darwin: PUT YOUR HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM! YOU'RE GOING DOWN! NAH, DOG.
I'LL BE OUT IN 30 DAYS AND WILL CONTINUE MY CRIME SPREE -- STARTING RIGHT HERE.
NOT ON MY WATCH! NOW GET DOWN ON THE GROUND! OW! SIR, GET UP, SIR! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT.
NOW, WATCH YOUR HEAD.
[ GRUNTS .]
HEY! THIS IS NOT YOUR CAR! I'M CHARGING YOU WITH GRAND THEFT AUTO! WOW! I THINK THE POLICE ARE SCARIER THAN THE CRIMINALS.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK UPSTAIRS.
Darwin: I AM THE LAW! [ WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! WHOOP! .]
[ WHOOP! WHOOP! .]
SORRY, DUDE.
WHAT WITH THE BADGE, THE UNIFORM, AND AND UNCHECKED SENSE OF AUTHORITY, I GOT A LITTLE CARRIED AWAY.
AH, THAT'S NOT WHAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT.
IT'S THESE BUYERS.
THEY'RE NOT GIVING UP.
WE NEED TO GO HARDER ON THEM! [ WHOOP! .]
[ HORNS HONKING .]
IS THERE A FREEWAY NEARBY? [ AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARS .]
AND AN AIRPORT? [ ANIMALS CHATTERING .]
AND A ZOO? [ MUZAK PLAYING .]
AND WHAT CAN ONLY BE A GIANT ELEVATOR? [ MUZAK STOPS .]
[ RHYTHMIC FART NOISES .]
AND VEGETARIANS?! YES! YES! WOW! OUR OWN GATES TO THE UNDERWORLD.
DIDN'T NOTICE THAT WHEN WE CAME IN.
[ CLANG! CLANG! .]
[ GROWLS .]
[ GASPS .]
[ GASPS .]
[ GRUMBLES .]
[ BOTH GRUNTING .]
NOW TO SEAL THE DEAL.
DAD! QUICK! [ GASPS .]
ANAIS IS TRAPPED IN THE SHED, AND WE CAN'T FIND THE KEYS! I'M COMING, BABY! I'M COMING FOR YOU! DADDY'S COMI-I-I-NG! [ GRUNTING .]
EH, I COULD LIVE WITH THAT.
UGH! WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! I MEAN, WHO WOULD WANT TO LIVE IN A PLACE LIKE THIS? SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK? WELL, THEIR HOUSE IS AWFUL AND THE NEIGHBORHOOD'S LIKE A DEMILITARIZED ZONE, BUT THEIR SOIL -- THAT'S THE REASON WE SHOULD TAKE IT.
[ Echoing .]
THEIR SOIL.
THEIR SOIL.
THERE'S OIL.
[ GASPS .]
THERE'S OIL UNDER THEIR GARDEN.
MR.
ROBINSON'S SITTING ON A FORTUNE, AND HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW.
I BET THOSE GUYS AREN'T EVEN VEGETABLES! WE GOT TO STOP THE SALE! SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY? WE'LL TAKE IT.
[ SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS .]
NO-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! MR.
ROBINSON, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU NEED TO KNOW.
MR.
AND MRSBENSON ARE NOT EXACTLY WHAT THEY SEEM, AND I'M HERE TO UNMASK THEM.
[ RIP! PLOINK! .]
AAH! OKAY, SO MAYBE THEY ARE VEGETABLES.
BUT THEY'RE HERE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU! WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HOUSE.
THEY ONLY CARE ABOUT WHAT'S UNDERNEATH IT! I'LL LET THEM TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE WE NEED GOOD SOIL TO PLANT OUR CHILDREN.
LIES! THEY ONLY WANT WHAT'S UNDER THE SOIL -- OIL.
THAT MAKES NO SENSE.
OR DOES IT? [ CLANG! WHOOSH! .]
OIL?! WE'RE RICH! [ CHUCKLES .]
NO SALE.
MARGARET, WE'RE STAYING RIGHT HERE.
[ LAUGHTER .]
UGH, FORGET IT.
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ Laughing .]
THANK YOU.
ARE YOU SURE, SUSAN? WE COULD ALWAYS MAKE A HIGHER OFFER.
THE SOIL WAS PERFECT.
NO WAY.
THE NEIGHBORS ARE UNBEARABLE.
ANYWAY, WHO'D WANT IT? IT'S COVERED IN RAW SEWAGE.
[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES .]
[ UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS .]