The Amazing World of Gumball (2011) s05e16 Episode Script
The Vase
Did anyone order anything? Nah.
This was the credit-card company's answer when I asked if I can order things online.
It's been like that for three days.
I think they're working in shifts.
Well, it was delivered to our door, so Uh uh Opening other people's mail is a crime! Oh, why is there always a law against everything I want to do? Because the last thing you wanted to do was to move into the supermarket so you could eat for free.
Uh, if the food enters your body and exits it while still in the supermarket, it's technically not stealing.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Come on! Am I the only one who wants to open the box? Opening other people's mail is like staring at the sun The more people tell you you shouldn't do it, the more you just gotta.
Richard, we're over here.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Now, kids, there's plenty of fun things we could do to take our mind off opening the box.
Just think outside the box.
Play some music on the boom box, maybe go watch a boxing match, or just open the box, the box open the box! Wait.
I think know what it is.
It's a teleportation gun.
How could you possibly know what a fictional object sounds like? Uh, what does a laser sword sound like? Pshew! Wah-wah.
Pshew! Hwoosh! Case closed.
Box open.
We're not opening it.
Oh, come on.
Think about how this could benefit society and enrich our lives Gumball, I told you to take out the garbage.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
Speak for yourself.
Hi, Mom.
What are you doing? I just found a way to avoid walking.
Are you sure that thing is safe? I think so.
What makes you say that? Uh, probably that weird thing on your nose.
It seems teleportation is dangerously affecting your DNA.
So you're saying I'm getting superpowers? No.
That's a rather specific interpretation of what I just said.
But you're not saying that I won't? Indeed.
But I would say there is a 99.
9% chance you will turn into a cyst-like pile of flesh with tongues where there shouldn't be tongues.
Oh.
Uh, right.
I I understand.
Good.
Finally.
So you're saying there's a 0.
01% chance that I could get superpowers?! No, no, no, no! Hey, dude whoa! Looks like you've been teleporting a lot.
Whoa.
What's that?! I've been trying to get superpowers.
I wanted to fly, so I took a bird through the portal.
But instead, now I can lay eggs.
Then I tried to get invisibility, so I took a chameleon through.
And now I can lay chameleon eggs.
And then I tried to get super jump, so I took a frog through, and Now you can lay Uh, yeah.
So, uh, I decided to take something that couldn't lay eggs, and ta-da! Ah, a laser pointer.
Did it work? Sure did.
Check this out.
Laser vision! Oh, great.
Now I can see exactly where you're looking.
But maybe you should focus some of your efforts on the aesthetic side of superheroes.
You know, maybe look a little less like that.
You're right.
I need to merge with something that looks super cool.
Okay, wait a minute.
I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking Please do.
Are you gonna finish that fictional food that's on your plate? What?! No! Why did you choose to merge with a cockroach? Just imagine what I could do with the powers of a nuclear-resistant parasite! Repel girls even more? Oh, I still don't know what it is.
But I know what I wish it was Whoo! We're rich! We never have to worry about the end of the month again! I could get a submarine to school every day! But there's no water between here and school.
We'll buy some.
Exactly! I can finally call myself "retired" instead of unemployed! Come on, let's go.
Mom, where are you taking us? You see, such a large amount of cash is bound to belong to somebody shady, and it's very likely that they'll send someone to retrieve it.
Wait! So now we're on the run from a hit man?! Exactly.
So now we have to live every day like it's our last?! Yes.
But isn't that a good philosophy to have? Carpe diem! Run! I think I know how he's tracking us.
I'm sorry.
I'm just so scared.
What the?! Not that! There must be some kind of tracking device in the money.
Huh.
My employers will never give up.
There will be another man after me, then another, and another after that.
You will never find peace.
Yes, but we're millionaires.
You'll never get back to your old life.
You'll be hunted.
Hunted millionaires.
You will never be able to trust anyone.
You'll be fugitives.
Fugitive millionaires.
I agree with Mom on one thing What's inside this box is clearly evil.
What? Why? Because history has proven that mysterious containers always bring misery Pandora's Box? The Lost Ark? That six-month-old takeout box at the back of the fridge? My point is, what if this box was never meant to be opened? What if it was It's been seven weeks since the infection began, and I still haven't found a cure.
They've taken over everything.
Our infrastructure has collapsed, the people are on their own.
Hello! You have reached the mailbox of Police Station.
All our officers are busy consuming the flesh of the living at the moment, so please take the law into your own hands.
Oh, wait up.
Ah, cool.
Most of the population is now contaminated.
Those that haven't transformed yet were already zombies anyway.
Huh? The world as we know it is coming to an end.
Get off, get off, get off! Get off, get off, get off! If only I had known how the virus got out, maybe the infection could have been prevented.
How did it all sta-a-art?! Ooh! Squirt gun! We have to destroy that box.
I'm sure it's something perfectly normal.
Exactly.
Like an accordion made out of bread or a remote-controlled trumpet.
Uh, what? Yes? Lazarus.
Our scientists have inserted an implant allowing you to use the capacities of your brain at 100%, making you the ultimate weapon.
We will now erase your memory and place you under a false identity until it is time for your mission.
Your activation code word is Lazarus.
Your mission is to save the president.
Please hang up.
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
Ooh! Mr.
President, are you okay? I was so scared.
Don't worry.
You're safe now.
Uh, hang on.
No offense, Dad.
It sounds cool that you could use the full power of your brain, but 100% of nothing is still nothing.
Please hang up.
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
No, you hang up.
I'm serious.
Please hang up.
No, you first.
This is a direct order.
Please hang up! All right, we'll do it at the same time.
One two Oh.
Stop! Mwah! Oh! No, where's? Ahem.
We need to get this box back to the right person! The president has to be saved And kissed! What if it was just a box? That would be a huge letdown.
Think about it A cardboard box could be a spaceship, a time machine, A pirate boat fighting a giant squid If you look at it through the eyes of a kid I said it would be a huge letdown! I don't care what's inside it.
I just want the box.
We need to destroy it.
No! I saw it first! It's mine! My favorite.
Have you guys received a package, by any chance? I told them to leave it here if I wasn't home.
Oh, uh, I don't think so.
Eh, never mind.
Wait! Maybe we opened it by mistake.
What was inside? You don't want to know.
Trust me, we really do.
Okay.
You know that rough skin you have on your elbow? Well, imagine that, but a bit scalier and spreading over your entire place that should be soft.
Now, imagine if that skin also got marinated in vinegar and microwaved, and hair somehow got trapped under a layer of that skin and the hair kept growing under this kind of blister that sort of also filled with some butter-colored oily matter, and then it started sweating Kind of like cheese, but on live meat Until it hardened into a flaking crust.
Well, the box had some cream in it for that.
You're right.
We didn't want to know.
This was the credit-card company's answer when I asked if I can order things online.
It's been like that for three days.
I think they're working in shifts.
Well, it was delivered to our door, so Uh uh Opening other people's mail is a crime! Oh, why is there always a law against everything I want to do? Because the last thing you wanted to do was to move into the supermarket so you could eat for free.
Uh, if the food enters your body and exits it while still in the supermarket, it's technically not stealing.
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
Come on! Am I the only one who wants to open the box? Opening other people's mail is like staring at the sun The more people tell you you shouldn't do it, the more you just gotta.
Richard, we're over here.
Oh, yeah, sorry.
Now, kids, there's plenty of fun things we could do to take our mind off opening the box.
Just think outside the box.
Play some music on the boom box, maybe go watch a boxing match, or just open the box, the box open the box! Wait.
I think know what it is.
It's a teleportation gun.
How could you possibly know what a fictional object sounds like? Uh, what does a laser sword sound like? Pshew! Wah-wah.
Pshew! Hwoosh! Case closed.
Box open.
We're not opening it.
Oh, come on.
Think about how this could benefit society and enrich our lives Gumball, I told you to take out the garbage.
I'm not sure I'm comfortable with this.
Speak for yourself.
Hi, Mom.
What are you doing? I just found a way to avoid walking.
Are you sure that thing is safe? I think so.
What makes you say that? Uh, probably that weird thing on your nose.
It seems teleportation is dangerously affecting your DNA.
So you're saying I'm getting superpowers? No.
That's a rather specific interpretation of what I just said.
But you're not saying that I won't? Indeed.
But I would say there is a 99.
9% chance you will turn into a cyst-like pile of flesh with tongues where there shouldn't be tongues.
Oh.
Uh, right.
I I understand.
Good.
Finally.
So you're saying there's a 0.
01% chance that I could get superpowers?! No, no, no, no! Hey, dude whoa! Looks like you've been teleporting a lot.
Whoa.
What's that?! I've been trying to get superpowers.
I wanted to fly, so I took a bird through the portal.
But instead, now I can lay eggs.
Then I tried to get invisibility, so I took a chameleon through.
And now I can lay chameleon eggs.
And then I tried to get super jump, so I took a frog through, and Now you can lay Uh, yeah.
So, uh, I decided to take something that couldn't lay eggs, and ta-da! Ah, a laser pointer.
Did it work? Sure did.
Check this out.
Laser vision! Oh, great.
Now I can see exactly where you're looking.
But maybe you should focus some of your efforts on the aesthetic side of superheroes.
You know, maybe look a little less like that.
You're right.
I need to merge with something that looks super cool.
Okay, wait a minute.
I'm just gonna say what we're all thinking Please do.
Are you gonna finish that fictional food that's on your plate? What?! No! Why did you choose to merge with a cockroach? Just imagine what I could do with the powers of a nuclear-resistant parasite! Repel girls even more? Oh, I still don't know what it is.
But I know what I wish it was Whoo! We're rich! We never have to worry about the end of the month again! I could get a submarine to school every day! But there's no water between here and school.
We'll buy some.
Exactly! I can finally call myself "retired" instead of unemployed! Come on, let's go.
Mom, where are you taking us? You see, such a large amount of cash is bound to belong to somebody shady, and it's very likely that they'll send someone to retrieve it.
Wait! So now we're on the run from a hit man?! Exactly.
So now we have to live every day like it's our last?! Yes.
But isn't that a good philosophy to have? Carpe diem! Run! I think I know how he's tracking us.
I'm sorry.
I'm just so scared.
What the?! Not that! There must be some kind of tracking device in the money.
Huh.
My employers will never give up.
There will be another man after me, then another, and another after that.
You will never find peace.
Yes, but we're millionaires.
You'll never get back to your old life.
You'll be hunted.
Hunted millionaires.
You will never be able to trust anyone.
You'll be fugitives.
Fugitive millionaires.
I agree with Mom on one thing What's inside this box is clearly evil.
What? Why? Because history has proven that mysterious containers always bring misery Pandora's Box? The Lost Ark? That six-month-old takeout box at the back of the fridge? My point is, what if this box was never meant to be opened? What if it was It's been seven weeks since the infection began, and I still haven't found a cure.
They've taken over everything.
Our infrastructure has collapsed, the people are on their own.
Hello! You have reached the mailbox of Police Station.
All our officers are busy consuming the flesh of the living at the moment, so please take the law into your own hands.
Oh, wait up.
Ah, cool.
Most of the population is now contaminated.
Those that haven't transformed yet were already zombies anyway.
Huh? The world as we know it is coming to an end.
Get off, get off, get off! Get off, get off, get off! If only I had known how the virus got out, maybe the infection could have been prevented.
How did it all sta-a-art?! Ooh! Squirt gun! We have to destroy that box.
I'm sure it's something perfectly normal.
Exactly.
Like an accordion made out of bread or a remote-controlled trumpet.
Uh, what? Yes? Lazarus.
Our scientists have inserted an implant allowing you to use the capacities of your brain at 100%, making you the ultimate weapon.
We will now erase your memory and place you under a false identity until it is time for your mission.
Your activation code word is Lazarus.
Your mission is to save the president.
Please hang up.
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
Ooh! Mr.
President, are you okay? I was so scared.
Don't worry.
You're safe now.
Uh, hang on.
No offense, Dad.
It sounds cool that you could use the full power of your brain, but 100% of nothing is still nothing.
Please hang up.
This phone will self-destruct in 10 seconds.
No, you hang up.
I'm serious.
Please hang up.
No, you first.
This is a direct order.
Please hang up! All right, we'll do it at the same time.
One two Oh.
Stop! Mwah! Oh! No, where's? Ahem.
We need to get this box back to the right person! The president has to be saved And kissed! What if it was just a box? That would be a huge letdown.
Think about it A cardboard box could be a spaceship, a time machine, A pirate boat fighting a giant squid If you look at it through the eyes of a kid I said it would be a huge letdown! I don't care what's inside it.
I just want the box.
We need to destroy it.
No! I saw it first! It's mine! My favorite.
Have you guys received a package, by any chance? I told them to leave it here if I wasn't home.
Oh, uh, I don't think so.
Eh, never mind.
Wait! Maybe we opened it by mistake.
What was inside? You don't want to know.
Trust me, we really do.
Okay.
You know that rough skin you have on your elbow? Well, imagine that, but a bit scalier and spreading over your entire place that should be soft.
Now, imagine if that skin also got marinated in vinegar and microwaved, and hair somehow got trapped under a layer of that skin and the hair kept growing under this kind of blister that sort of also filled with some butter-colored oily matter, and then it started sweating Kind of like cheese, but on live meat Until it hardened into a flaking crust.
Well, the box had some cream in it for that.
You're right.
We didn't want to know.