The Avengers (1961) s02e26 Episode Script

1 (theme music playing) (bell dings) Break! Come on, break! - One, two, - Get up, boy.
Get up! Three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.
You're out.
Never bet on a boxer's looks, Mr.
Steed.
Gotta know them.
Know all about them.
- I suppose you're right, Pancho.
There's your 50 quid.
- Thank you.
So how do you get to know all about a boxer, then? By managing them.
That's what you should do, Mr.
Steed.
Handle them yourself, then you'd know them.
Might even win some of this back.
Hmm.
I'll think about it.
Yes, do.
Mm.
In the kitchen, Mrs.
Gale? - Yes, please, Joey.
- Right.
How are you, Mrs.
Gale? I've been unraveling the intricacies of your drinks cabinet.
Pity.
It's excellent sherry.
Yes, I thought you'd like it.
Would you mind pouring me one? Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
It'll be a pleasure.
"Encyclopaedia Britannica," I'm impressed.
I've been reading up on whales.
Oh, are you going on holiday? Not that Wales.
Whales.
"Moby-Dick.
" Cheers, Captain Abraham.
Do you know they're a fascinating subject? Some of them even have tuberculosis.
Well, cheers, Mrs.
Gale.
I'll see you at club on Wednesday.
Oh, Joey, I'd like you to meet John Steed.
This is Joey Fraser.
He's one of the leading lights of our local youth club.
He's my star judo pupil.
Yeah, I'm not surprised.
- Would you like a drink, Joey? - Can I have an orange juice? Yes, in the fridge.
Help yourself.
Around here, everybody does.
I can heartily recommend the sherry.
Joey: Never touch it.
Joey's in training.
He's a boxer.
Oh, any good? He's one of the best amateurs I've seen in his weight.
Oh, really? Mrs.
Gale says that you box, Joey.
Have you ever thought of taking it up professionally? Oh, it costs money, Mr.
Steed.
You know, pro training, use of a gym, things like that.
It all adds up.
How would you say if I was to foot the bill, hmm? I'd say there was a catch.
Well, I'd expect a percentage of the profit of his winnings.
We'll discuss that later.
You mean, you'd be willing to put up the money? Steed: Yep.
But why? I mean, look, you haven't even seen me fight.
You don't know if I'm any good.
I'll take Mrs.
Gale's word for it.
Anyway, I'm a gambler from way back.
You really mean it? I really mean it.
I'll manage you, too, if you like.
No, I'll manage him.
You? Now, hold on, let's get this straight.
You'll sponsor me and you'll manage me? - Of course.
- Why not? That way I can be sure that any decisions taken are in your best interests.
It's a deal? Yeah.
Yeah, all right.
I've nothing to lose.
When do we start? Why not tomorrow morning? Pancho Driver's gym.
What's he like? Lousy, Pancho.
Oh, get him out of there, Tiger.
Yeah? He's busy.
Yeah, I'll get him to ring you back.
What's the number? Right.
0-1-0 yeah.
Come on.
Keep jabbing that left hand.
It's not nearly strong enough.
Hey, Pancho, you ring a number.
Jab, jab, jab.
What number? I forget.
Gerard 1-0-7-1? Yeah, yeah.
That was it I think.
I used to have a great left jab.
Remember, Harry? Fast.
Yeah.
Trouble was, Willie, it was the only punch you did have.
Yeah, but it was fast.
Come on, bring that shoulder around.
You ring me? Again? I thought I told you I didn't want you hanging around here or telephoning.
Oh, you've got money problems? Well, who do you think hasn't? As soon as the stuff gets here, I'll deliver it to you.
That's today.
Yes, at once.
See who's just come in? Yes.
What's he doing here again? I don't know.
Look after the office, will you? He'll soon get that knocked out of him.
I hope not.
It's a help.
Mr.
Steed.
Ah, Pancho.
I want you to meet some friends of mine.
This is Mrs.
Catherine Gale.
Sam "Pancho" Driver.
- How do you do? - How do you do? Now, Joey, there's someone I want you to meet.
You fight, kid? Yes, I do, Mr.
, uh Pancho.
Everyone calls me that.
After his favorite expression, "Punch him.
" - You want me to take the kid on? - That's right.
- With you as manager? - No, me.
Any objections? Well, I don't mind, but what do you know about being a manager? Enough.
She's good.
I've seen her.
Wait and see.
Well, let me see how good your kid is.
Oh, Sailor.
Excuse me.
- Yeah? - You're late.
- Yeah, well, I got nabbed.
- What? For speeding.
Don't sweat.
Go and change.
I'll talk to you later.
Okay.
Is he one of your boys? Oh, Sailor he works out here from time to time.
Could be very good.
More interested in that motorbike of his.
About this kid.
I'll put him in the ring with Tiger here.
Hey, now, wait a minute, Mr.
Driver.
Pancho, lady.
Pancho.
If Joey's gonna be a fighter, he's gotta learn to take his knocks.
Tiger.
Ah, Joey.
Go and change.
Change in through that door.
Okay, Pancho.
Changing rooms? Yeah, that's right.
- You're having a tryout, eh? - Yeah.
- Well, I'm Sailor.
- Joey.
Well, then good luck.
Make yourself at home.
Ta.
- You been to sea again, Sailor? - Yeah, that's right, Willie.
- Where'd you go? - Caribbean.
Oh, I got a mate that lives there.
At least I think he lives there.
- Pretty over there, isn't it? - Yeah.
- I'll finish that, Willie.
- I can do it, Pancho.
- Beat it.
- All right.
- Get the stuff? - Yeah, it's in my locker.
Done up like a bar of soap.
When do I get paid? Here, tonight, 9:00.
Okay.
Hurry it up, kid.
I'm ready.
Just washing me hands.
I got some grease on them.
Oh, I hope he won't mind.
I took his soap.
You did what? Give it to me.
Look, I only wanted to wash my hands.
Don't you poke your dirty little nose in somebody else's locker again.
What are you really after here? Well, let's say I've invested in this place.
I want some return on my time and money.
And you think Joey can get it for you? I hope he can.
Well, this is where you start being a manager.
No, Joey, you be careful.
He's a big one.
Yeah, you know what they say about them.
Yes, but they also hit harder.
Blimey.
Come on.
Tiger, I want that kid flat in one minute.
Punch him.
Good luck, then, Joey.
If the kid lasts a minute, I'll take him on.
All right.
There's a fiver says he won't.
- You're on.
- Good.
Here's a stopwatch.
Okay.
Keep your fingers crossed.
(bell dings) Ten seconds.
(bell dings) Minute.
Time's up.
Huh, oh, yeah.
Sorry, Mr.
Steed.
You don't need to apologize to me, Harry, but I think Joey could do with one.
Well, he was still on his feet, in spite of that low punch.
All right, I'll take him on.
Five pounds, please.
Thank you, Pancho.
Are you all right? Yeah, I'm all right.
It was that one below the belt that did it.
Whew, these gloves smell funny.
Huh? Oh, no, it's not the gloves.
It's on my hands.
Must have been that soap.
What soap? I I was using it to wash my hands in the dressing room.
All right, Joey.
Go and get changed.
What are you trying to do, kill Joey? Boxing's a rough sport.
There was nothing sporting about that last punch.
Joey's in.
I can't say I'm pleased.
Thanks to Tiger, we're lumbered with that kid.
He's not a bad prospect.
Well, that later.
- You ready? - Sure, Pancho.
Well, give that to Fernand.
He starts yapping, tell him that's all he's paid for.
Just hand it to him and get out.
- See you.
- Yeah.
I'm off.
If there's anything interesting, let me know.
Such as? If it interests you, it interests me.
Have fun.
(knocks on door) Well, is this all? That's all you paid for.
Pancho doesn't like credit, you know that.
Can't Pancho trust me? Don't go blaming Pancho.
It's Charlie who supplies us.
Charlie doesn't trust any of us.
Well, tell Pancho I want to see him tonight.
I'll come to the gym.
All right.
I'll tell him you'll be there.
Oh, about 11.
See you about 11.
- Angela? - Woman: Yes, Fernand? Come in here a minute, will you? Yes, darling? Take these around to the lab for me, will you? They are waiting for it.
But Mrs.
Blaine Winston is coming in.
Well, let Elizabeth see to her.
This is more important.
I'll tell them you're coming.
I'll tell Mr.
Fernand you're here.
Thank you very much, indeed.
Thank you.
(laughs) Oh, I am Fernand.
- How do you do? - How do you do? Can I help you? - My name is Steed.
- Yes, what can I do for you? I want to order a new wardrobe.
Evening dress, couple cocktail dresses, two day suits, accessories, of course, naturally.
Oh, for my niece.
- Ah.
- And I want you to design them.
- I would be honored.
- Good.
So if you would like to bring the young lady in sometime.
Well, I'd like to surprise her.
You know how it is? Oh, I see.
Denise, come here a minute, please.
In that case, you understand, I must have certain measurements.
Oh, um, 34, 24, 36.
Fernand: 34, 24, 36.
- And fair.
- And fair.
How tall is your niece, Mr.
Steed? - 5'4".
- 5'4".
Thank you, Denise.
Ah, yes, thank you, Denise.
Oh, if you would like to call in again tomorrow by that time, - I will have some sketches for you.
- Fine.
In the meantime, I must think about color and light and movement.
Ah, yes, please do.
Oh, by the way, that perfume there, what's it called? - You like it? - Delicious.
It's called Boutique.
An exclusive preparation.
Denise, Boutique.
For your niece, with my compliments.
Oh, thank you so much.
My goodness me.
Very touching.
Thank you.
Oh, hello.
Fernand asked me to give you this.
Ah, thanks.
Well, how are you? I'm fine, thanks.
Whew.
What's this? Hey.
Don't uncork it.
It'll evaporate.
Is this all he gave you? Fernand has to pay cash.
And he doesn't have very much.
My heart bleeds for him.
250 quid.
Is that all? You won't get much for that.
It's all I have.
That's why I came to see you tonight.
- I wanted to ask you if - Strictly cash.
You know that.
But why? Why does he have to have his money now? Why can't he wait for the profit? We have to.
Charlie lives in the Caribbean.
It's a very long way away.
He doesn't trust us.
When will the next lot be ready? A day or so.
Is it all sold? Every single bottle.
(clanking) (music playing) First time I've seen a woman manager.
- What's she like? - Pretty good.
I had a good manager once.
Charlie Horton.
He used to handle champions.
Retired, eh? He had to.
Made a mistake.
Did time? No.
(laughs) Not Charlie.
He skipped to the Cari Oof.
Cari Oof! - The Caribbean.
- Yeah.
- He lives there? - Yep.
Hello, Willie.
Oh, good morning, Mrs.
Gale.
Here, I'll see you, Joey.
Ta.
Been working hard, Joey? All morning, Mrs.
Gale.
Joey, there's something I wanted to ask you.
That bar of soap you used yesterday I didn't get what all the fuss was about.
It was only a bar of soap.
Pancho did his nut.
He did? Why? I took it out of Sailor's locker.
He came in and caught me with it.
I see.
Well, what's it all about? Oh, it doesn't matter, Joey.
It was such an unusual smell, I just wondered what make it was.
Fernand: And now Angela is wearing a dress made of cricket flannel with a matching stole.
Steel: Cricket flannel for the evening? Well, why not? Very chic.
It flares gently at the hem.
Elaine's gingham black and white dress is in a rather amusing bush style.
Happy safariing.
Fernand: June's turquoise evening dress and coat - is made in heavy woven linen.
- Steed: Linen.
But you understand that any of these can be made in the material of your choice.
Oh, good.
Good morning, Fernand.
Good morning.
Hello, sport.
I wonder if you would excuse me, Mr.
Steed? This gentleman and I have Oh, of course, Monsieur Fernand.
Thank you.
Carry on, sport.
Decent of you.
That's a beautiful texture.
Very beautiful.
Why do you have to barge in here like this? - Like what? - Well, you could have telephoned.
You ought to give me some warning that you were coming.
I mean, it's embarrassing when there are customers in the shop.
Particularly one like him.
You know what he's buying? An entire wardrobe for his niece.
She's coming out next season.
Hooray for both of them.
It's short, I'm afraid.
- How much? - 2,000 pounds.
Well, I will catch up next month.
And after all, you're earning interest on the money, aren't you? We're here to collect 5,000, sport.
You're already two months behind.
You don't want us to foreclose on the mortgage, do you? After all, your laboratory must be very valuable to you.
It's a lot of money.
We'll be here again in the morning, sport.
For two thousand more.
All right? Oh, please.
Would you mind going out this way? Yes, I would.
I'll let you know if we have any more information.
What? That'll have to wait.
Good-bye.
How terribly après-ski.
Don't you think? I am so sorry, Mr.
Steed.
To be interrupted is such agony.
No need to worry, Monsieur Fernand.
I have to go myself.
I'll come back tomorrow.
- Oh, but, please, Mr.
Steed - Cheerio, sport.
Well, now you see what you have done? My client Don't forget, Fernand.
2,000 pounds tomorrow morning.
Bye-bye.
(buzzer sounds) Who is it? Steed on intercom: Open sesame.
What name, please? Me.
I'm terribly sorry.
I just got your message.
Doesn't matter.
I've been reading.
- You left some sherry.
- Did I? Well, I can soon remedy that.
I've been catching up on whales.
You know, you're right.
They are fascinating creatures.
(chuckles) For example, there's a fatty substance formed in the intestine of spermaceti whales which is secreted and sometimes found floating in the water.
How disgusting.
Really? On rare occasions, it's washed ashore.
The fatty substance? Mm, called ambergris.
Ever heard of it? Vaguely.
Let me tell you some more about it.
It's used in making perfumes and it's very valuable.
Fascinating.
Cheers.
Beachcombers dream of finding it.
At 10 pounds an ounce, who wouldn't? Especially when you think that one piece of ambergris can tip the scales at 200 pounds.
Imagine that.
32,000 pounds for something you picked up off a beach.
I never picked up anything off a beach that valuable.
32,000 pounds, yes.
And that is before duty is paid.
If you smuggle it into the country And that's what's going on at Pancho's.
Yeah.
I knew there was a catch.
I had to get on the inside.
So you used Joey.
There was no other way.
Now look.
I've been hanging around there for a month.
I haven't come up with anything.
The moment we take Joey in, I have my first piece of luck.
This.
- That's ambergris.
- Really? It comes from Pancho Driver's pocket.
It must have had ambergris in it.
It did.
He got it from Joey.
From Joey? He tried to wash his hands with it.
He thought it was soap.
He still does, fortunately.
- Where did he get it? - From Sailor's locker.
I thought it came in with him.
- Well, it won't anymore.
- Why not? I found him in the gym last night, Sailor he was dead.
Now why would they kill him? I forgot to ask.
Who was there? Pancho and Harry.
They took him away.
They were saying something about trying to make it look like a motorbike accident.
That's interesting.
I must get Joey out of there.
And spoil his chances? Oh, look, so long as he thinks it's soap, Pancho believes him, we've nothing to worry about.
And when did you empty this? Yesterday.
Yesterday morning.
You were there.
That's right.
What did you do with the stuff? Well, I keep it in the cellar until the dustmen take it away.
Would it still be there? Rubbish isn't collected 'til Friday.
Where's the cellar? Come on.
This way, I'll show ya.
Nothing in here about it.
It's an early edition.
Give them time to find them.
Pancho.
I thought I told you to stay away from here.
- I have got to talk to you.
- I don't want to listen.
We are in trouble.
Close the door, Harry.
Well? I need 2,000 pounds by tomorrow, Pancho.
I thought you said "we" were in trouble.
Well, we are unless you lend it to me.
- Why? - It's the mortgage on the land.
I'm up to my ears in debt.
It cost me a fortune.
Now wait a minute.
You got into that before we met up, remember? You were going to compete with Hartner and Dior and the like.
But you overreached yourself.
Our little proposition saved your neck.
Pancho, please.
I'm desperate.
It's the last time, Fernand.
Or we'll have to find somebody more reliable.
Thank you, Pancho.
Thank you.
Oh, don't thank me.
That'll cost you 500 pounds.
All repayable in 30 days.
Right, Harry? Right, Pancho.
And the perfumes are ready? - Tomorrow.
- All right.
Harry, bring over some bottles.
Now go on, get out of here.
Thank you again, Pancho.
Oh, Fernand.
30 days.
With all this equipment, Willie, you could start a gym of your own.
That lot's been around for years.
Hey, what's in there? I don't know.
That's Pancho's room and it's locked.
Blimey.
Well, it's in this lot somewhere.
Yeah, well, I'll leave you to it.
I got work to do.
Coward.
What's that? Oh, it's a soap wrapper.
The sailor had it.
I thought there might be a name on it.
What you want to know that for? Oh, it's for my manager, Mrs.
Gale.
She was interested in it.
She wanted to know what make it was.
Did she, now? You don't happen to know what make it is, do you? No.
I bet Pancho does.
- Show it to him.
- Yeah, all right.
Oh! Ah, Denise.
More sparkling than ever.
Good morning, sir.
Will you take a seat, please? Thank you very much.
- Good morning, sir.
- Oh, good morning.
I'm afraid Mr.
Fernand had to go out.
We're expecting him back shortly.
Oh, dear.
Well, I don't mind waiting.
And she's interested in this, is she? So the kid says.
Where's he now? In the cellar.
Locked up in the cupboard with the bottles.
Can't leave him there.
He'll yell the place down when he comes to.
- No one will hear him.
- Willie might.
So where do we put him? Laboratory.
That's the place.
Deliver him with the bottles.
And the woman? What about her? Depends what she does when she finds the kid's gone.
Have you seen Joey? Ask Will.
Have you seen Joey? Last time I saw him, missus, he was in the cellar.
- The cellar? - Yeah.
Come on, I'll show you.
Come for all the wastepaper.
Every last bit of it.
- What for? - I don't know.
Here, Willie.
Lend a hand.
All right, Pancho.
Excuse me, missus.
Careful with that now.
What can I do for you, Mrs.
Gale? Willie said Joey was down here.
I don't see him.
Do you? Anyway, what would Joey be doing down here? Willie said he was looking for something.
Willie says lots of things.
Most of them stupid.
Should have let him go long ago, couldn't bring myself to do it.
Very touching.
There are only two places left, you know.
Oh? In the box Willie and Harry carried out.
And? In here.
It's hollow.
Yes, I know.
Why, you little Invite your friend down.
Come on down, Harry.
She's got a gun.
Let's look for him, shall we? Watch it.
- I don't like nose - Get on with it, Pancho.
Now get him out of there.
(grunting) Ah! You Sorry.
It's not your fault, Joey.
Very silly of you, Joey.
Now you've got yourself and Mrs.
Gale in a lot of trouble.
There's nothing over there.
Hey, I've got an idea.
Marvelous.
(coughing) Did you get it? Yeah.
Oh.
All right.
- Give it to me.
- Got it? No, no, no.
Keep still.
It's very sharp.
I'll do it.
Hey, what is this place? The laboratory where they make scent illegally.
I don't get it.
Well, that bar of soap wasn't a bar of soap at all, Joey.
It was ambergris.
It's used in making perfumes and it's being smuggled into Pancho's gym.
No wonder they kept on thumping my head.
Yes, I'm sorry you got involved.
Hey, this ambergris, where does it come from? I mean, what part of the world? Well, from various places.
Off Brazil, the Caribbean and off the coast of Madagascar.
The Caribbean.
Think Charlie Horton lives there.
- Who? - Charlie Horton, Willie's ex-manager.
He had to skip the country about 10 years ago.
He made a mistake.
He fixed a fight and got caught.
Ah.
Oh, you're bleeding.
That's all right, it's not much.
I'm sorry, Joey.
Are you all right? Yeah, yeah.
It's fine.
Just a scratch.
All right, now what? Looks pretty solid, doesn't it? Yeah, short of setting fire to the place and with all the fumes of all this stuff around blowing ourselves up, I don't see how we're going to get out of here.
Even that wouldn't work.
Why not? Automatic sprinkler system.
The moment they reach a certain temperature, an alarm bell sounds and the deluge begins.
Willie.
Yep? - Harry back here? - Morning, Pancho.
No, I haven't seen him.
(phone ringing) Hello? Yes.
Pancho on phone: May I speak to Harry? Who's speaking, please? It's for you.
Harry.
Yes, Pancho.
We're just finishing up.
500 bottles.
I'll load them in the van and bring them around as soon as I can.
Hey, um what about the kid and Mrs.
Gale? They give you any trouble? No.
Well, all right.
Leave them there.
Decide what to do when you get back.
Right.
By the way, anything in the morning paper? That's a bit odd, isn't it? See you, Pancho.
Ready? Yes, that's the last of it.
Give us a hand, then.
Well, what about them? Oh, Pancho says they're to stay here.
You can look after them.
I'll be back later.
Babysitters usually get paid.
I'm surprised at you.
Come on.
Let's get it into the van.
They're going.
That telephone call was probably from Pancho.
Then they'll leave us here alone.
I hope not.
We need one of them to help us escape.
Us get out of here? How? With this.
Hey, with the fumes of this stuff around, that's a bit dangerous in here, isn't it? We'll have to chance it, but not yet.
Let's give them time to get well away.
When do you want me to start delivering this stuff? As soon as we get rid of the kid and Mrs.
Gale.
We have no choice.
When Charlie's there with 400 of ambergris, that's a lot of perfume, a lot of money.
Let's not be too hasty.
I mean I mean, what if she really thought it was soap? She did then.
She doesn't now.
Give her a cut to keep quiet.
That's what Sailor wanted, wasn't it? A bigger cut.
You had no doubts about him.
This is a woman.
Never trust a woman.
Don't you know that yet, Harry? I don't like it.
I mean, people, they're asking questions.
Anybody come asking questions about Fred? About the sailor? There's still time.
Besides, them two were loners.
But the kid and Mrs.
Gale, they got friends.
There's Steed.
He'll be curious.
You can bet on that.
We don't know anything.
We were here yesterday afternoon.
We haven't seen them since.
Ah, come on, Harry.
Now you know what to do.
- Yeah, sure.
- Right.
Here it goes.
(beeping) Blimey.
- Leave him.
We can pick him up later.
- Where are we going? To the gym.
Good morning, darling.
Hey, what's the matter? You don't look well.
Have you got any brandy? Mm-hmm.
In the dressing room.
Good.
I need one.
Come on.
You sit down.
(screams) Brown: Hey, sport.
- Who is it? - I don't know.
- Brown: My friend.
- Yes.
Yes, I'll be with you in a minute.
You stay here.
Got it, sport? Yes.
Yes, will you follow me? This 2,000 pounds is all there.
Good.
You don't have to be nervous when you've got it, sport.
Only when you haven't.
See you next month.
- So, Willie.
- Aye.
Yes.
What? Well, all right, all right.
Don't panic.
I'll deal with it.
What's up? Where did you dump the sailor? On Ocean Road about 20 miles out.
Do you know where he is now? In Fernand's shop.
- That's impossible.
- Not according to Fernand, it isn't.
- I don't understand.
- Well, I do understand it.
Somebody's onto us and they're going to get to us through Fernand.
- But who? - I don't know.
I'm not staying to find out.
Are you? Now you get these things packed up.
- There's something I have to do.
- Fine.
They know who it is.
They must have killed him.
Why did they put him in there? I don't know.
Good morning, Monsieur Fernand.
Good morning, Mr.
Steed.
I am sorry, we are closed.
But open to suggestion, surely.
I put him there.
But Pancho.
Pancho is a dangerous friend.
Yes, I know.
Would you like to tell me about it? Yes.
Yes, I would - Stop it.
- Oh, Pancho.
A little out of your element.
What are you here for? The fashions? The girls? The perfume? - What's the name of that, Fernand? - Boutique.
Get him, blast you.
(grunts) No! I'd rather you didn't keep me waiting, gentlemen.
I have another appointment.
Ah! Harry: Tiger! Arm, Joey! Ah, the garden of delight.
Sir, please don't bother to get up.
You want to borrow this? Thank you.
Up against the ropes.
Hello, police.
Oh, hello.
My name is Carruthers.
Yes, I'm speaking from Pancho Driver's gym (buzzer sounds) Who is it? Steed on intercom: Steed.
You miss your plane? It doesn't leave for another couple of hours.
- Oh.
- Ah.
All packed and ready.
Where was it you said you were going? - To Tokyo for the international judo convention.
- Judo convention.
Got all your belts packed, eh? You're quite sure you won't change your mind? Come to the Caribbean with me? We've been through this all before, Steed.
No.
What's that? It's a small present.
A mark of our appreciation.
Our appreciation? Mm.
Myself and the treasury.
Of course the treasury don't know about it yet.
I'm afraid it's the last of the line.
(theme music playing)