The Avengers (1961) s03e20 Episode Script

Trojan Horse

(music) (theme music) Butcher: Two and seven only for the lady.
Oh, good morning, sir.
Steed: Good morning.
How are you off for venison? Venison, sir? Well, we don't get much call for that, sir.
However, if you'd like to come with me through the back here, sir, I might be able to oblige you, sir.
This way, sir.
How much exactly would you be wanting, sir? - It's quite a large party.
- Oh, yes.
- Good morning, Alice.
- Good morning, sir.
How many guests are you having, sir? - We aim to seat 18.
- 18? Oh, yes.
Of course we'll have to cut all the fat off and bone it and That is quite enough of that, Steed.
All right, listen to this.
Man: Dossier 03-11-24.
Sharp and O'Brien, British subjects.
26th of January, 1959, defected to Abarain.
Assumed Abarainian nationality.
May '59, appointed head of Radio Abarain.
June '61, Minister of the Interior.
September '63, head of military operations.
Sharp arrives 1100 December 17th for 72 hours.
You are in charge of security.
(theme music) - Ah, you got my message.
- Obviously.
- I've been doing the shopping.
- Obviously.
I take it it's about Andrew Sharp? Obviously.
I've been working all night.
Most of these papers are saying he shouldn't be allowed into the country.
Well, you can hardly blame them.
As far as they're concerned, he's still a traitor.
As far as I'm concerned, he's still a traitor.
Maybe, but he visits this country under diplomatic immunity, and we have to treat him as a responsible minister of a friendly power.
Even to the point of doing an arms deal with him? The British government have invited General Sharp, as he now is, to purchase arms for one reason.
Simply that we don't want him to do a better deal with anyone else.
Thinking that in return for a few tanks and guns he'll promise not to look elsewhere? - That's the idea.
- Where do I come in? Well, I have to make arrangements with Special Branch, airport police concerning the arrangements.
I thought that you might go to the Embassy and Sharp's hotel and see how everything is at that end.
Why can't you go? Well, they may be suspicious.
They know my face from a little bloodbath on the border about four years ago.
There will be a repeat performance here if you don't soon put this meat in the fridge.
Oh! I don't know why I go on dealing with this butcher.
Ironic, isn't it? Here we are protecting a man five years ago we were trying to get rid of.
- Who, the butcher? - No, Sharp.
They tried to kill him more than once and lost, oh, a few good agents in the process.
Steve Rayner, missing, presumed dead.
Mark Charter, killed in operations.
I wonder what they'd think now.
I'd like to see Mr.
I'm afraid Mr.
Quilpie's busy.
It's urgent.
- Your number? - SO-11-2-7.
What name was it, sir? Charter.
But you can call me Mark.
This afternoon Mrs.
Gale is meeting with the ambassador about the arrangements, security arrangements - within the Embassy.
- Quilpie: Right.
And I've laid on with the police for a special police escort for Sharp all the way from the airport.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Yes.
There's a Mr.
Charter to see you.
Only one Charter I know.
Mark Charter, and he's dead.
He's not, sir.
He's in my office.
What? Morning.
We thought you were dead.
I know.
It's upsetting, isn't it? All right, Alice.
We heard you'd been sentenced to death.
- I was.
- And executed.
They changed their nasty little minds and kept me alive for questioning.
For five years? Well, they only questioned me for five months.
What about Steve Rayner, is he alive, too? Rayner's dead.
I was the lucky one.
- Lucky? - Well, up to a point.
How did you get out? - They released me.
- When was that? - Last night.
- Why did they let you go? Well, I'm afraid I didn't have time to ask.
You better tell us what happened.
Well, about midnight on Wednesday one of the guards woke me up.
First time they'd bothered me for years.
There was a lieutenant with him, read a message from the Palace.
I thought it was going to be an execution order.
Well, they gave me a suit, bundled me into a car and put me aboard the first available flight for London.
What's the matter? You look as if you'd seen a ghost.
I must say, you're very casual.
I suppose you realize that officially you've been dead for five years.
As far as I'm concerned, so have you.
Charter, if we'd known you were still alive we'd have done something about it.
Yes, of course you would.
Don't worry about it.
What happened to Rayner? Rayner's dead.
You told us, but I want to know how.
- You're sure? - Of course.
They never found out the true purpose of your mission? To kill Sharp? No, they had to rig up our trial with a lot of phony charges.
Have you, uh Have you read today's papers? You mean about General Sharp coming to London? He's gone up in the world, hasn't he? Is that all you're going to say? What do you expect me to say? Five years ago you wanted Sharp killed.
I volunteered, and I failed.
That's the way it goes, isn't it? Anyway, being in prison has its compensations.
You owe me five years' back pay, plus overseas allowance.
I'll settle for a round figure, 15,000 pounds.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Charter: Mm? You're sitting in my chair.
Oh, I'm afraid you're mistaken.
I've had this chair for more than five years now.
Ah, a new member.
- I say, Jenkins? - Yes, sir? This, um, gentleman is sitting in my chair.
Sorry, Mr.
This has always been Mr.
Charter's chair.
- Jenkins, I - Man: Shh.
If you say so, Jenkins.
I really can't understand why.
The place is going to the dogs.
Thank you, Jenkins.
A pleasure to have you back, sir.
Although we heard rumors.
All untrue.
So I see, sir.
Will you have your usual? Thank you, Jenkins.
Oh, I'd like a room for a couple days with a bath if you can manage it.
I'll do my best, sir.
Steed: May I talk to you? Hello, Steed.
Very sorry to disturb you - in the sacred precinct.
- Man: Shh.
I want to have a word with you.
- What about? - Sharp.
Look, my dear old fellow, I've only been in this country 10 hours.
I'd appreciate some time on my own.
- Sharp is due here in - Shh, shh.
48 hours.
What's that got to do with me? - Quite a bit.
- How come? Hasn't it occurred to you what a coincidence it is that your release after five years coincides with the announcement of Sharp's first visit to this country since you were sent to kill him? Yes, it's a coincidence.
(snoring) Did they brainwash you? It was all fairly routine grade two interrogation.
- Who ordered your release? - The president, I think.
Not Sharp? The lieutenant said his instructions came from the Palace.
General Sharp is the head of military operations.
- You were his responsibility.
- That's true.
I don't see what you're getting at, Steed.
He gave an interview in the press this morning saying you overpowered your guard, stole a military vehicle, went over the frontier and stowed away on a plane to London.
Well, Mrs.
Gale, I think that takes care of everything.
How many are there in his personal bodyguard? Three.
Oh, Ambassador.
Gale is just leaving.
Ah, Mrs.
Are you both quite satisfied with the arrangements? Yes, I think so.
- The hotel? - Everything is in order.
I chose the penthouse suite for the general.
It makes security easier and the entire staff has been screened.
You're quite happy? Yes, I hope everything goes according to plan.
Good day, Your Excellency.
I'll show you out, Mrs.
Brian, show Mrs.
Gale to the door.
Oh, excellent.
What do you think will happen now? Your guess is as good as mine.
What did you make of Mrs.
Gale? (chuckles) Charming.
And perfectly genuine.
I hope so.
That's all for now, Charter.
- Thank you.
- Aye, sir.
Alice, where art thou? Coming, sir.
The accounts keeper is still trying to sort out your funds, Mr.
Charter, but in the meantime, here's most of them.
Thank you.
Well, if there's nothing else, I'll start spending some of this.
Well, try and keep a clear head.
We'd like you back in a few days' time for a proper debriefing.
Oh, yes.
I wrote this out last night.
It's a full report of everything that happened.
Oh, good.
What are you going to do now? I thought I might buy a car, go to the country for a few days, do a bit of fishing.
If you want a car, you might try this address.
Belongs to a friend of mine.
She has a sports car.
It's pretty good, and she needs to sell.
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
Quilpie: I'll see you out.
Where are you staying at the moment? At my club for a few days.
We'll contact you when we've read your report.
Right, sir.
Goodbye, Mr.
Quilpie: (clears throat) Alice, Alice, Alice.
Get this typed up and indexed, will you? Yes, sir.
Now, Mrs.
Gale, do you remember your friend who had a car to sell? Is it still for sale? Good.
Look, will you collect it, bring it round to my flat tonight? I'll explain later.
Well, Steed.
What do you think? Pretty remarkable story.
Which is the true story, his or theirs? Charter's, I think.
If he had escaped as the Abarainians would have us believe, he'd surely have told us.
On the other hand, their president can have a good many dozen reasons for concealing the truth.
Yes, but being in jail can do some funny things to a man's mind.
Yes, well Well, five years, he's the only one who's ever come back from a place like that completely unbroken.
(doorbell rings) - Mrs.
Gale? - That's right.
My name is Charter.
I've come about the car you have for sale.
Oh, you must be the man Steed sent.
- Come in.
- Thank you.
- Would you like a drink? - No, thanks.
I'm afraid I can't stay very long.
I'll take you down now and show you the car.
Is that it outside, the convertible? - Yes.
- How much do you want? - 500.
- Right.
But wouldn't you like to try it out before you make up your mind? And the M-1 is quite close to here.
You could try it out on there.
What's the M-1? Don't you know? No, I'm afraid I've been overseas.
You must have been away a long time.
It's a motorway.
It runs from London to Birmingham.
- Oh, I see.
- (oven timer rings) Excuse me, just a second.
Well, did you effect the sale? Apparently.
What a strange man.
Who is he? Oh, didn't he announce himself? Yes, he said his name was Charter.
It wouldn't be the Charter mentioned in the Sharp file by any chance? The very same.
I thought he was supposed to be dead.
So did we, but he's not.
He escaped from a jail in Abarain yesterday.
- Extraordinary coincidence.
- Yes, isn't it? Oh, that smells good.
Actually it's hot pot.
Listen, why didn't you sell him the car yourself? It belonged to a friend of yours.
I didn't think he'd trust me.
That's the point.
You realize, of course, he hasn't driven a car for about five years.
I shouldn't worry about that.
He isn't going very far.
Are you going to be away long, sir? I'm going to the country.
I'm going to be away for a few days.
Well, I'll keep your room aired then this time, sir.
- Thank you, Jenkins.
- Thank you, sir.
I can't stress too strongly, Steed, how important it is there will be no disturbances.
No street marches, no picketing the embassy.
It'll create a very bad impression in Whitehall.
For your own sake, see that it doesn't happen.
Yes, sir, I've arranged with Special Branch about General Sharp's meetings with the Prime Minister.
Oh, good.
Excuse me, sir.
I think you ought to read this.
What is it? It's Charter's report.
Um, the last paragraph.
All right, Alice.
"And in acknowledging responsibility "for failing to kill Sharp in 1959, "I undertake to rectify the situation at the earliest possible" Rectify the situation? This is Charter's way of saying that he received an order from us in '59.
He acknowledges it, and he still intends to to carry it out.
He's here to kill Sharp.
So your return rocked Whitehall to its foundations? They took it very well, really, considering.
Considering what? Considering their embarrassment.
- Why? What did they say? - Nothing much.
You send a couple of agents to their deaths, and five years later one of them walks into your office.
There's not a lot you can say, is there? What do you mean? Well, they presumed I was dead.
No, I don't mean that.
I mean about sending you and Steven to your deaths.
It was just a figure of speech.
If I thought Steven had died for nothing Did you see much of him? At first.
We shared a cell together, then they separated us.
I only saw him once after that.
- How did he take it? - Not too well.
He tried to escape a couple of times.
He said he'd kill Sharp if it was the last thing he did.
I wish he had.
That mission was a complete failure, wasn't it? It wasn't a roaring success.
It cost me five years in prison.
It cost Steven his life.
Mark, why do you want this list? I told you, I just wanted to look up a couple of my old wartime contacts.
Why? You never bothered with any of these people after the war.
I never had time, I guess.
Anyway, I thought most of them had gone back to live in France.
- They have.
- How's the writing going? Oh, quite well.
I'm on my fifth book.
- On the Resistance? - Mm-hmm.
Nice going.
It doesn't pay terribly well, but it helps with Steven's pension.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
What are you going to do now? I thought I might go to the country.
Have a rest for a few days somewhere quiet.
Would you like to go down to the cottage? Cottage? Yes, you remember, the place we had in Sussex.
Oh, yes.
- Yes, I'd love to.
- All right.
- I'll give you the address.
- Oh, just a minute.
Well, write it on here, would you? - Oh, all right.
- I've got Oh, that's all right.
I've got one here.
Hazel Cottage.
I haven't been down there for ages, but it should be all right.
Near Selsey, Sussex.
- There you are.
- Thank you.
Now all you need is the key.
Well, I better be off.
Already? You've only just arrived.
I'm sorry, there's one or two things I've got to do.
Mark? Yes? You know Sharp's coming to London, don't you? Yes.
If there's anything you need, any kind of help, you can always rely on me.
Yes, I know.
There's nothing, really.
All right.
I just thought I'd tell you.
Thank you.
I see Mike Lynden's running a garage.
Yes, he's had it for some time.
I'll look him up first.
My car needs a service.
Well, I'll bring Mrs.
Gale in to see you.
She'll give you a full description of the car then.
All right, get her round here as quick as you can.
- Yes, sir.
- (doorbell rings) Hold on a minute.
There's someone at the door.
(ding-dong) Come on in, Mrs.
There's someone on the phone.
Charter's car is a Hey, are you there? You there? (whistling) (groans) - Have you quite finished? - Oh, there you are.
Charter's car is a pretty distinctive make.
We should alert Special Branch.
Quickest way of finding him.
All right.
All right.
You must admit, Steed, it's a rather ironic situation.
What? The nation's top security outfit moving hell and high water to try and track down one of their own agents.
I don't think you realize how serious this is, do you? Yes, I do.
Sharp will be here as the guest of the British government.
If anything were to happen to him, it would be embarrassing, to say the least.
And probably the end of the arms negotiations.
What interests me is why Charter still wants to kill Sharp.
I mean, what's his motive? Who knows and who cares? After five years in an Abarainian jail, maybe he doesn't need a motive.
Yes, five years could be enough.
Isolation, mental disorientation, delusional obsession.
Can we skip the psychology? Sharp is due here in 48 hours.
Doesn't it concern you that Charter might be sick? He looked all too healthy this morning.
He's one of your own men, Steed.
Doesn't it even interest you, his reason for doing this? It's irrelevant.
The reason he'll give us is one he's already given.
Which is? The reason he'll give in court when we bring him to trial.
He is going to kill Sharp because in 1959 we ordered him to.
Doesn't that rather prove my point that he can't be well? And why should he warn you? He must know you'll stop him.
Well, maybe he thinks we can't stop him.
That's ridiculous.
It's much more likely to be a revenge.
After five years in prison, he probably wants to get his own back - on your security machine.
- Precisely.
He knows everything we do in advance.
Haven't your methods changed in the last five years? That is not the point.
Look, come along.
I'll explain the whole thing to you in the car.
Quilpie awaits us.
After you.
(doorbell) Yes, sir? Mike Lynden? That's right.
Mark Charter.
Charter? Don't you remember me? Normandy, '43.
Oh, yes.
I remember.
Helen gave me your address.
- Helen who? - Helen Rayner.
Yes, she would.
Look, Mike I need some help, Mike.
I wonder if you could re-spray my car for me? - For free, I suppose.
- Of course not.
I'll pay.
In cash.
- When do you want it done? - Immediately.
It's urgent.
Look, I'm very busy.
I just can't drop everything for you.
You would have done, my dear chap, 20 years ago.
Just because we fought together then doesn't make us buddies now.
But those were the good old days, Mike.
Well, I hated them.
I wanted to live in peace.
20 years is a long time, and I don't like to be reminded of it.
I'm sorry.
If you are interested, name your own price.
Why do you want it re-sprayed? That's my business.
And that's for changing the number plates.
- All right, I'll do it.
- Oh, thank you very much.
But only because I need the money.
A pound of the usual, please.
What is the usual? Anything from shank ends to prime top side.
But you can't cook.
Eh? Where are we? The Robing Room at Lambeth Palace.
Oh, it's not as I remember it.
- What? Government Agency for National Security and Counter Intelligence.
It's our hot end of the line.
Well, it's pretty cold.
- Good morning, Alice.
- Good morning, sir.
Miss Brisket, Mrs.
Gale, Miss Brisket.
- How do you do? - Pretty impressive place, eh? It's all right.
- This girl's a vegetarian.
- Oh, dear.
The likes of modern butchery have little appeal for her.
Quilpie: Alice? Yes, sir? Is Mrs.
Gale here yet? Where the devil is Steed? They just arrived, sir.
Well, send them in, girl.
What are you waiting for? I fear he's all merry and bright this morning.
Not one of our happiest moods, I'm afraid.
To hear is to obey.
Thank you very much, indeed.
Oh, by the way, could you ask Bob for a pound of sausages and one side? Certainly, Mr.
And a couple of dozen shin bones.
They're for the dog.
Steed: Come along, Mrs.
Ah, Mrs.
Good morning.
You'll appreciate we'll only bring you here on exceptional circumstances.
Steed has outlined your problem to me.
Could no one anticipate that Charter might do this? I mean, is there no repatriation unit, somewhere where he could have had medical tests? That's not what we're here to discuss, Mrs.
What I want from you is a detailed description of that car as it was when you last saw it.
According to Steed it belonged to a friend of yours.
Why don't you get the description from her? We can't involve outsiders.
I see.
Well, is that all you brought me here for? No, we want you to trail Charter.
Why me? You have special qualifications, Mrs.
You have the advantage of being an outsider.
I thought you couldn't risk involving outsiders.
(clears throat) How do you suggest I go about it? Did you get that list from records, Steed? I picked it up this morning.
This is a list of Charter's wartime contacts.
It's not much, but it's the only lead we've got.
In the meantime, Steed, I want you to break the news to the Abarainian embassy.
- Do they have to be told? - Yes, they do.
I'm afraid you'll have to count me out.
Why? An unfortunate little experience with their ambassador before Abaranian Independence.
Do you remember that? Oh, yes.
Well, what about the feminine approach? What do you say, Mrs.
Gale? Yes, of course.
Is there anything else you'd like me to do while I'm about it? No, I think that's all for the moment.
- Thank you.
- I'll see you out, Mrs.
Let me know as soon as you get anything, and don't forget to give the description of the car to Alice.
I won't forget.
Now, Steed what additional arrangements have you made to cope with the new situation? All available manpower has been laid on during the extent of the visit.
Twice the normal amount.
And there will be a complete security guard on Sharp from the time he leaves the airport.
Sharp's visit may be unpopular, but it's vital if we're to maintain a proper area of influence in Southwest Asia.
Yes, sir.
Let's hope that Mrs.
Gale exercises the proper area of influence in South West London.
Our ministry feels that in view of Charter's disappearance, we should seriously consider canceling General Sharp's visit.
That's out of the question.
Flight's already left Abarain, Mrs.
He'll be here at half past 10:00.
I mean, cancellation at this stage would arouse considerable comment.
Our neighbors might look upon it as a diplomatic rebuff.
In any case, the visit is vital.
I see.
I assume your people will strengthen the security arrangements? Yes, we've already worked out another plan.
I'll be getting in touch with you this afternoon.
Well, I know we can rely on the British authorities to take every precaution, Mrs.
I'm sure everything will be all right.
I hope so.
Thank you for seeing me, Your Excellency.
Brian, Mrs.
Gale is just leaving.
Have her followed.
Why? Just to make sure that her visit here was perfectly genuine.
It'll be interesting to see where she goes to next.
I suppose you realize the implications? All too well.
I learned my lesson during the revolution.
One should never trust the British.
Even when they're trying to help us? Least of all when they're trying to help us.
Are you receiving? Oh, good afternoon, miss.
What can I do for you? - Well, I hope you can help me.
- Well, I'll do my best.
I'm looking for a car.
Well, I've got several nice models around the back.
Come and have a look.
What price had you in mind? Well, I'm looking for a specific car.
- Uh-huh.
- A blue Vogle Prentiss.
Oh, that's pricey and out of my range.
I owned one until yesterday.
Then I sold it to a man called Charter.
Really? Don't you know him? He's a friend of mine.
- Should I? - He often talks about you.
I understood you were in the Resistance together.
It's possible.
There's a lot of us in London that fought together in France during the war, but I don't remember anybody named Charter.
That's strange.
Anyway, he's disappeared.
I don't think I'll be able to help you.
He talked about having the car re-sprayed.
That's why I thought he might have come to you.
Well, he hasn't.
I haven't done a car like that for months.
Well, if he does turn up, perhaps you'd ask him to get in touch with me, would you? Yes, all right, Mrs.
Thank you.
Immediate organization with security to prevent such an attempt being made.
In view (phone rings) Quilpie.
What? A court order? Listen, I don't care if they want a bill from the House of Lords.
There isn't time.
Well, use your blasted initiative.
- Now - "In view" In view of the imminence of the General's arrival, the arrest of this man should be regarded as a matter of the gravest, repeat, gravest, urgency.
All right, get that off right away.
Yes, sir.
(phone rings) Yes? I see.
Thank you.
- Mrs.
Gale is back, sir.
- It's about time.
Show her in.
Oh, come in, Mrs.
Any luck? The Ambassador absolutely Just a moment.
Just a moment.
Prefix 1009, stroke three, stroke eight.
All right, Mrs.
Gale, what have you found? The Ambassador absolutely refuses to cancel.
General Sharp's visit.
I pointed out the danger he might be in, but he was quite adamant.
At midday I left the embassy and went to Lynden's garage, Number 4, Chepston Mews.
Michael Lynden, the proprietor, denied having seen Charter or his car.
I think he was lying.
I noticed a spray gun there that was wet, and obviously been used in the last 24 hours.
What was the color of the paint? - White.
- White? That's not very much like camouflage, is it? - Is there anything else? - No.
1009, stroke three, stroke eight ends.
Alice, get on to Special Branch.
We think the car may now be white.
Alice: Yes, sir.
If you're right, Mrs.
Gale, it shouldn't be very difficult to find.
You think Charter would risk leaving London? I don't know.
We can't afford to take any chances.
He could be 100 miles away.
He could be hiding out at the end of the street.
Has he got any family? There's no next of kin.
We're certain of that.
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I suppose he could have gone to see Steve Rayner's widow, Helen Rayner.
Yes, I remember Mark Charter.
Of course I do.
The only thing I can tell you about him is that your people sent him away with my husband to die in circumstances that were never explained to anyone's satisfaction, least of all mine.
So I don't see why you've come to me at all.
Why have you? Would it surprise you to know that Charter's still alive? Yes.
You don't sound very surprised.
You've seen Charter, haven't you? Look, it's imperative that we find him.
- Don't you know where he is? - No, he's disappeared.
Why would he do that? - Didn't he tell you? - Tell me what? He's going to kill Sharp.
Really? Then he has my blessing.
I can sympathize, Mrs.
Rayner, but we must try and stop him.
Why? Apart from anything else, he's throwing away his life.
He knows the risk he's taking.
He can't hope to get away with it.
He must know we've alerted the Abaranian Embassy.
Typical hypocrisy.
It won't save Sharp.
Look, you know where Charter is and you've got to tell me.
Doesn't his life mean anything to you? I'm sorry, Mrs.
I can't help you.
I hope he does kill Sharp.
Is that all you care about, Sharp's death? Yes, Mrs.
Gale, it is.
I think I can understand your feelings, Mrs.
But doesn't it seem a terrible waste when your husband died in exactly the same cause? No.
Sharp's death is all that Mark's living for.
I'm not going to stand in his way.
You're a very vindictive woman, Mrs.
I thought you said you understood my feelings.
The loss of a husband, yes.
But not for murder or revenge.
You don't know what it's like to be made a widow.
Yes, I do.
- I say, Jenkins.
- Yes, sir? Isn't that the fellow who was in here last night? Mr.
Charter? Yes, sir.
Dashed odd.
Comes back after five years and then disappears again.
Doesn't he like the place? He told me he was going to the country for a few days.
Waste of a good chair.
Bring me a gin and tonic.
Yes, sir.
(phone rings) Beadles.
Good afternoon.
Can I help you? Oh, yes, Mrs.
No, I'm afraid Mr.
Steed hasn't been in all day.
You're welcome.
(ring ring) (ring ring) (ring ring) (ring ring) (ring ring) (ring ring) "Blistering barnacles.
" (ring) You're absolutely sure about this, Mrs.
Gale? Positive.
That last address, Hazel Cottage near Selsey, Sussex, is in Helen Rayner's handwriting.
Then Steed was lying when he said he got that list from Records.
Well, he must have got the list from Helen Rayner, which means he'd been there before and not told us.
Doesn't sound like Steed.
Wish I knew what the devil he was playing.
- They found Charter's car, sir.
- Where? Abandoned in a field on the Sussex coast near Selsey.
Thank you, Alice.
Any news of Steed? Well, he's still not answering his phone.
All right.
Keep trying.
Well, Mrs.
Gale, can I interest you in a trip to Hazel Cottage? No, I'm fine.
How's everything your end? Mrs.
Gale? No, she hasn't, but I'll certainly keep an eye open for her.
Yes, I read the papers.
That should warm things up a bit.
I'll ring you later on.
Memorize every feature of that face.
It belongs to a highly trained agent.
I want this man, and I want him alive and in this room before the end of the day.
That's all.
Your car is waiting.
- Major Zulfikar? - Hmm? Where are they going? - To a house in Sussex.
- Sussex? When we arrested Charter and Rayner in 1959 What's it got to do with Rayner? He's dead.
Yes, of course, I know that, but look at this.
It's a summary of their interrogation records.
Look at the address given by Rayner.
- Well? - It was a coincidence perhaps.
But this afternoon Mrs.
Gale paid a call on Rayner's widow, after which she left for Sussex.
Couldn't all this have been dealt with by the British police? I thought it wiser to get there first.
With soldiers? It's a flagrant breach of diplomatic practice.
In a situation like this, we cannot afford to be diplomatic.
- Mrs.
Gale? - Yes.
Of course.
You work for Steed.
It's all right.
I've come alone and unarmed.
No reinforcements on the way? No.
In that case, Mrs.
Gale, charming as you are, I don't see what you hope to achieve.
- Why are you doing this? - What? Signing your own death warrant.
Am I? You can't hope to get away with it.
Sharp's bodyguard will be prepared to shoot you on sight.
If they see me.
What brings you here, Mrs.
Gale? Why do you still want to kill Sharp? I was ordered to.
That was five years ago in a theater of war.
This is England, peacetime.
It's an entirely different situation.
- Is it? - What do you mean? I don't think so.
General Sharp has people shot simply because they disagree with the president of Abarain.
Does that matter to you, Mrs.
Gale? Yes, of course it does.
Well, I intend to do something about it.
Killing Sharp is not the answer.
What do you suggest, a public reprimand from the leaders of democracy? A vote of censure of the United Nations? They're the only arguments for civilized people.
That's not the argument of civilized people.
It's the argument for people who can't do anything.
Be honest with yourself, Mrs.
Why should you worry what happens to General Sharp? I'm not worried about Sharp.
I'm worried about you.
(rustling) What is it? My Abarainian friends from the embassy.
Look, hide up there.
They won't want to leave any witnesses alive.
- What about you? - I'll bluff it out.
They may not know I'm here.
We could ambush them.
(rustling) Good afternoon.
Aah! (gunshot) It was an accident.
He's still alive.
I'll call an ambulance.
We'd better get out of here.
Somebody will have heard the shot.
They're bound to.
That's why we can't stay here.
He'll live.
We'll phone the police later.
Now, outside, please, Mrs.
We'll take the embassy car.
They won't be looking for that.
Where are we going? Back to London.
General Sharp's plane will be landing shortly.
I have no intention of disappointing him.
Are you aware it's the only weak link is the airport? The moment when Sharp steps out of that plane before getting into the armored car.
(phone rings) Quilpie.
Oh, Mrs.
Gale, yes.
What? He left you where? All right, get round here as quick as you can.
Charter's back in town.
But how did he get past the police check? He stole a diplomatic car from the embassy guards.
Bayswater, Bays I wish I knew where the devil Steed was.
I don't care how long it took you to reach a telephone.
You should've notified the British police.
Return immediately.
What happened? They not only let Charter escape, they even allowed him to steal their car.
Not one of your more successful operations, Major.
(scoffs) What time is it? 8:00.
Sharp's plane will be landing soon.
We'd better prepare for the reception.
How can we go on with Charter still at large? If he's as good an agent as you say, he should be able to find his own way here.
General Sharp and Mr.
Steed, Ambassador.
Ah, General.
How do you do? Well, I hope you had a pleasant trip.
Not bad.
Do you know Steed? No, I don't It was a long time, Ambassador, and a pretty hot reception.
- Oh.
How do you do? - How do you do? Apparently Steed's in charge of the security arrangements for my visit here.
Indeed? We've been dealing with a Mrs.
Gale up to now.
Why wasn't I told about Charter? Well, we didn't want to alarm you, sir.
Alarm me? If I'd known, I wouldn't have come.
Exactly, sir.
We've done everything we can to ensure your stay will be a successful one, General.
- Mm.
Steed? - Yes, sir.
Do you know where Charter is now? Not this very moment, sir, but I don't think you have anything to fear from him.
- What do you mean? - I'm certain he's bluffing.
Well, I hope you're right.
Will you be at the press reception later? - Of course, sir.
- See you then.
Until later, gentlemen.
Well, well, Mr.
So you finally managed to get here.
I trust you had a pleasant journey? In the light of what you just told me, Steed, I'm willing to overlook the fact that you failed to report in for eight hours.
- Do you have a match, sir? - Match.
Thank you very much.
I had to let Mrs.
Gale do the donkey work in case either of us were being followed.
Yes, of course you may be right.
Ah, matches, old boy, that's the way I got them.
- Oh, sorry.
- Thank you very much.
Still, it might be very difficult to convince her.
Come into the fridge, there's still one or two things to be done.
- Mrs.
- Miss Brisket.
I think you're wanted, Mrs.
Oh, really? Ah, Mrs.
Gale, you made contact with the enemy.
I'm satisfied he means business.
And you're also satisfied he's not sick? He thinks he's trying to rid us of a traitor.
I wish I could have persuaded him to give himself up.
In the circumstances, an understandably difficult task.
Eh, Steed.
What circumstances are you referring to? Steed, where have you been for the last 12 hours? You went to Helen Rayner's, didn't you? Where else have you been without telling us? I think we better be going.
The reception is in less than a couple of hours.
I'll explain on the way home.
Well, it had better be good The list Oh, never mind.
He's here.
Bring him in.
Charter, welcome to the party.
I understand you wish to kill General Sharp.
You don't look the sort of man who would kill, just for the fun of it.
- I'll kill Sharp.
- For fun? - Oh, no.
- As part of your job? - No.
- Then why? Revenge.
Revenge for Rayner's murder, five years in prison and Sharp turning traitor to his country.
Yes, admirable sentiments, I'm sure.
But when it comes to the point, do you think you'll be able to do it? You're not on a Secret Service mission now, you know.
You're in London on your home ground surrounded by the enemy.
I don't see how you can possibly get away with it.
No, of course.
You're right.
Charter, we'd like to help you.
I don't understand.
We want you to kill General Sharp.
- You want Sharp dead? - Yes.
- Is this a joke? - No.
When Sharp first came to our country, we welcomed him.
His knowledge was useful.
He was anxious to help us.
At the time we thought him indispensable.
But now? Now he's an embarrassment.
An Englishman as Minister of the Interior.
Like a millstone round our necks.
In short, the once indispensable Mr.
Sharp - is now dispensable.
- I see.
You appreciate we're deliberately trying to embarrass your government, and thereby break off diplomatic relations? Aren't you afraid I might inform the Foreign Office of all this? It's your word against mine.
What do you want me to do? Fire two shots at the general with a gun loaded with blanks.
- Blanks? - That's right, Mr.
That's all you have to do.
You see, we're not looking for a murderer.
Just for a scapegoat.
I'll be blamed? Yes.
This embassy stands on what is technically barainian soil, so we have the right to take you back to our own country to stand trial.
No, thank you, I've seen your legal system in action.
Ah, but this time the verdict will be in your favor.
How very nice.
What do I do after the trial? I can't return to this country.
How much back pay did you get for your years in prison? 15,000 pounds.
Charter, we'll offer you a house, a car and 50,000 pounds.
Who is actually going to kill Sharp? - I am.
- When? At the reception tonight.
All right.
I'll do it.
Assuming Charter can get into the embassy, The reception's the most likely time for the balloon to go up.
Lots of people about, plenty of cover, not to mention publicity.
How will he get in? He's done a job like this before.
Where? Little town in France called Meaux.
- Meaux? - With an X.
He bumped off a Gestapo chief inside Gestapo headquarters.
What happened to that car? - What car? - The embassy car.
Oh, he abandoned it in the Bayswater Road.
The police returned it to the embassy.
That's exactly what he did in France.
He hasn't abandoned it at all.
He's simply hidden in the boot and waited to be driven back to the embassy garage.
(phone rings) Steed, yes? You were right, Steed.
The butcher tells me that Charter is definitely there.
So you won't be late for the reception, will you? We're just leaving.
All right, Cinders, you shall go to the ball.
Hey, what do you keep it in that? Oh, in here? Shall we go? I should like to thank the British government for their hospitality and the British public for their warm welcome.
I hope that the negotiations I'm to have with your Prime Minister will be successful, and will further the aims of worldwide peace.
Your presence here, ladies and gentlemen, is encouraging.
I had anticipated that my welcome would not be so warm.
There are, I know, many people in this country who feel that my visit should never have been allowed to come about.
To these I can only say that I have come here in the sincere hope that bygones may be bygones.
No one is more anxious than myself to see a peaceful settlement between our two countries.
We have had our differences in the past.
But now we would like to bury the hatchet and let bygones be bygones.
I consider it a great honor to have been chosen by President Arafat as his representative at the forthcoming arms negotiations.
He feels as I do.
That the quickest and most obvious solution to the threat of open invasion or political infiltration by our neighbor states is to arm ourselves not with weapons, but with prestige: the prestige of an alliance with your government.
Shoot, man.
Why don't you shoot? Sorry to disappoint.
Nothing was further from my mind.
Sharp: acts of pending aggression.
But by proposing an agreement with your government, which would allow us There's really not much point in that now, is there? Without increasing in size, and to call upon your forces for assistance should it be necessary, he feels that it will be possible to maintain peace.
Not one of your most successful operations, Ambassador.
That is why I'm here.
And I know that the arms negotiations will be successful.
(applause) (phone rings) (ring ring) Hello? No, I'm afraid he's away for the weekend.
What do you mean "good"? Oh, it's you.
Yes, I remember, SO-11-2-7.
Well, I don't think Mr.
Quilpie would approve.
You have? Tomorrow? I'd love to.
The main entrance at 7:00.
Goodbye, Mr.
Steed: Any luck with Miss Brisket? Yes.
It was those two tickets to Covent Garden that did it.
I don't know where I'm going to get them from.
Not too worry, you establish a beachhead.
From then on, it's plain sailing.
Which is more than could be said for the shark head.
Incidentally, what's going to happen to him when he gets back to Abarain? Return to a pretty sticky reception.
Personally, I don't care.
He's no longer my problem.
Might this be the moment to inquire who dreamed up this elaborate scheme? We engineered it between us.
It was really a question of playing it by ear.
With me as the decoy duck.
Wouldn't it have been a good idea to let me into the secret earlier? I mean, wouldn't it have made life a lot easier? Not really.
See, we figured that General Sharp had fallen into disfavor with the Abarainians.
They let me out in the hope that I'd kill him for them, thereby embarrassing the British government and giving the Abarainians a golden opportunity for withdrawing from the arms deal.
I still think you could have let me know what you were up to.
In case the embassy thought that we were playing a double game.
Which you were.
Someone had to behave quite normally and appear to be following Charter.
(doorbell rings) Excuse me.
When I did find you, I got the stickiest reception in the world.
I'm very sorry about that.
It's a surprise.
Come in.
Good evening, Steed.
Hello, Mrs.
Gale, Charter.
- Hello, sir.
- Good evening.
Just dropped round to thank you all very much.
The arms deal has gone through, and Whitehall is tickled pink.
And talking of pink, I'll have a gin.
Of course, sir.
By the way, Alice asked me to give you these.
Huh? Oh, two dozen shin bones.
Quilpie: Oh, she said they were for the dog.
I don't need to sharpen my teeth.
(theme music)