The Avengers (1961) s05e21 Episode Script

You Have Just Been Murdered

Who's there? I said, who's there! Who are you? What do you want? Look If it's money Listen, I'm rich! The safe's here! Here, my rings, my watch, take them! No no, please! Listen, I'll give you anything! My paintings! Don't! "George Unwin requests the pleasure" Unwin the millionaire? The same.
If it's like his last party, there'll be three topics of conversation.
Money, How to make it and how to hold on to it.
It's very dull unless one's income is in the seven-figure bracket.
So why accept? I was coerced into it.
-I had a call from Lord Maxsted.
-The chairman of British Banking? Particularly asked me to be there.
The second one was even more curious.
Do you want to hear? Hello, Steed.
Gilbert Jarvis here.
-I must talk to you.
-lf it's that urgent, I can easily No, don't come here! Will you be at Unwin's party tomorrow? -I've been invited.
-Good.
I'll see you there.
Surely you can give me a hint what it's about.
I can't explain now, but I've just been murdered! -Intriguing, isn't it? -Yes.
Did you call him back? He wouldn't talk.
Said he'd explain it at Unwin's party.
I wonder how he'll arrive.
In a hearse? Steed there? Yes.
Who is it? It's Gilbert Jarvis.
The murder victim.
I've just been murdered again! Been murdered again? What is all this? Are you there? What's wrong? I'll meet you at Unwin's as we arranged.
He'll see me at Unwin's! Do you detect that heady aroma? Roses? The sweet, sickly smell of money.
-The air's heavy with it.
-The place's littered with millionaires.
And awash with them.
Do you think there's a collective Noun for millionaires? -A "multi" of millionaires? -A "tycoonery"? I don't see Jarvis.
Lord Rathbone made his first million before he was 21.
Easy to see how.
Here's Lord Maxsted.
-So glad you could make it.
-It was practically a summons.
I don't think you know Mrs.
Peel.
How do you do? Must speak to you.
Will you excuse us? If we could find a quiet corner I see you brought the delicious Mrs.
Peel along.
You are Emma Peel.
I've heard so much about you.
I'm George Unwin.
Hope you're enjoying my shindig.
Let me know if not, and I'll change the whole decor.
Or the house, or I'll move it somewhere else.
Paris? Or Monte.
Just let me know.
Has Jarvis arrived? -Is Gilbert Jarvis here? -No.
And he's late, too.
He's a stickler for punctuality.
"Time is money," he says.
-He's right, too.
-I'd better call him.
I won't be a moment.
Got to phone my banker.
But I'm his banker.
Peanuts, my Lord? Jarvis, is that you? Are you there? Is that you? What's happened? Something funny at Jarvis' place.
I'm going to check.
You hold the fort.
I'll call you.
-You're not going? -I must.
-We haven't had our talk.
-Talk to Mrs.
Peel.
She's a sympathetic listener.
She's also extremely trustworthy.
Shall we find a quiet corner? Steed said I could trust you.
Forgive me.
But a banker, to reveal anything about his clients I'm not taking notes.
I'll be brief and to the point.
What would you say if a millionaire came to you and withdrew one million pounds -in cash? -I'd say blackmail.
If the man packed and left the country what would you say? I'd say fear.
He was running away from something.
-Has this happened? -Three times, and it's happening again.
One of my oldest customers called me.
Same request.
A million in cash to be available immediately.
Who was this customer? Gilbert Jarvis.
It can't be coincidence.
The pattern's always identical.
One million in cash.
No one deals in cash when those figures are involved.
Unless it's a payoff of some kind.
-You haven't got a drink! -Thank you.
-Call for you.
-Thank you.
Jarvis is dead.
How did it happen? He was really murdered this time.
I see.
I'll see you later.
-You say Jarvis asked for a million.
-Yes.
-He won't be collecting it.
-Why not? He's just been murdered.
-Who'd want to murder him? -How did it happen? I'm sorry.
That's all I know.
Excuse me.
No visitors.
Good evening! I'd like to see Mr.
Rathbone.
No visitors.
If you'd like to tell him that Mrs.
Peel He's not seeing anybody.
Those are his orders.
Get on, Quint.
-Who is it? -Chalmers, sir.
Found someone snooping around.
Found someone? -Young lady, sir.
-You? You were at the party.
That's right.
I'd like to speak to you.
I'm not seeing anyone.
It concerns a million pounds.
In cash.
All right, Chalmers but stay right outside the door.
I like to feel secure.
I'm fair game for burglars.
It'd take an army of burglars to break in here.
State your business.
Supposing I was to say I was a journalist.
A series of articles entitled How to become a Millionaire .
Journalist? Not only do you break into my house, but you use a dishonest trick to You know all about dishonesty, don't you? -They were there to take.
-But not to take away.
Naughty.
What about Jarvis? Well, what about him? -You know him well? -No, not intimately.
I met him a couple of times at Unwin's.
And yet you seemed so shocked when you heard he'd been murdered.
That's only natural.
Murder is a shocking affair.
You're a thrifty man.
And proud of it.
Breeds moral character.
And dust.
Why are you so frightened? Frightened? Me? You shut yourself off behind guard dogs armed men, an array of locks.
I value my seclusion! No, you're frightened.
Look at you now.
You're edgy.
I don't like people! And you're perspiring.
It's hot in here.
Then why not open a window? Shall we do that? Open a window and let the air in.
Nothing frightens me! Nothing! Who are you? How did you get in? Why? Did you check the grounds? Guards posted? Three front, three back.
The rest are patrolling.
If you meet any trouble, if you see anybody, shoot to kill! Do you understand? Shoot to kill! You have just been murdered again.
For the fourth time, too.
-Who are you? - a well-wisher.
Intensely concerned for your welfare.
Four times is the limit.
The next time, it'll be for real.
What do you want? Why do you keep Now, I think we talk business.
Don't you? Rathbone's place is a fortress.
Guards.
Barred windows.
-Bolts on the door? -Yes.
Jarvis had them, too.
Didn't do him much good.
But he knew he was in danger.
Now, Rathbone Rathbone is scared.
There's no doubt about that.
But why? It's happening to Rathbone now.
Wants me to sell his government stock.
Now? It's the worst time to sell.
I know, and so does he.
But he wants the money now.
-How much? -A million.
-In cash? -It's to be at the bank by midday.
Is he collecting it personally? I couldn't reason with him.
Can't you delay handing it over? It's his money.
If he wants it, I must hand it over.
Certainly, you must.
Come in, Mrs.
Peel.
I'm safely ensconced in Lord Maxsted's office.
We have the loot here, all spread out waiting for Rathbone.
Would it all fit into a black, medium-sized suitcase? Yes, why? Because that's what Rathbone's carrying.
Very inconsiderate of him.
Lord Maxsted was about to introduce me to a very old and rare sherry.
Rathbone's here.
Looking very jumpy, too.
Wouldn't you? Suppose so.
The prospect of wandering around with a million in cash is not calculated to soothe the nerves.
He's leaving.
If you want me, I'll be with Unwin.
If the pattern fits, he's likely to be the next candidate.
I'm on my way.
Good luck.
Rathbone's arrived.
He's heading for the bridge now.
Rathbone was followed by a woman.
Tall, slim, auburn-haired.
Never mind her looks! Deal with her quickly! Did you manage to pin Mr.
Unwin down? He was in more of an upright position when I pinned him.
Against a wall.
I damaged his orchids.
Excellent.
He must be near cracking point.
I think we should step up the treatment.
Immediately.
Right.
Just one word.
-Are you all right? -Of course, I'm all right.
-What's wrong with using the front door? -What's going on? I could ask you the same thing.
Breaking my windows.
There was a fight in here -I saw it.
-Fight? I just tripped down the stairs and knocked the lamp.
That's not good enough.
I saw you stabbed right through the chest! I hope you're not starting to lose your marbles.
There were two men in here! Must be the light from that lamp.
You know, it casts funny shadows.
I don't want to seem inhospitable, but I am feeling very tired.
And frightened.
Are you frightened, too? I've known you a long time.
If you're in any trouble If I did have any trouble, I'd know how to deal with it, right? I'd have thought so.
Let's leave it at that then.
Shall we? We must get together sometime soon.
Perhaps next month when I'm not quite so busy.
Have a lot of fun, yes? -Don't forget, you know my number.
-I won't.
You see, there's no escape.
You may think you're invulnerable, but we can always get to you.
What do you want? Before we go into that, I suggest you relax.
Spot of television might help.
I hear there's a good program on Channel B.
It'll be on the air at 10:00.
What do you want? - Why don't you tune in and find out? -Who are you? Channel B.
10:00.
You'll be seeing me then.
Bridge Farm.
That was the place.
It's not marked here.
Very bleak and deserted.
The ideal place for a payoff.
Yes, the bridge is here.
Rathbone just dropped it over the side? Yes.
He walked over and For him to chuck a million in the river, he must've had a good reason.
A sort of high-class protection racket with a clientele of millionaires? When you have everything money can buy, life becomes more precious.
Scare them enough, they're bound to pay off.
And keep silent.
-I doubt if any of them will talk.
-Rathbone certainly won't.
Once he's paid, he won't risk ending up like Jarvis.
There's still Unwin.
Are you sure he was threatened? I saw him being attacked! I didn't imagine it.
He hasn't approached Maxsted.
I think it's just a matter of time.
Good evening.
Welcome to Channel B.
And a particularly warm welcome to Mr.
George Unwin.
Do answer it.
That's me ringing you.
Can you hear me? Splendid.
Sit down.
Are we viewing comfortably? -Yes.
-Good.
Then I'll begin.
First, let me introduce myself.
The name is Needle.
No quips, please.
I've heard them all before.
Although, I do admit, I'm a little difficult to find.
It's extremely unwise to try.
Someone once said that a man should use his natural-born talents to the full.
Do you agree? I'm so glad! Because you see, I'm a natural-born parasite.
Will you get to the point? The point? In the last 24 hours, you've been murdered four times.
On any one of those occasions, it could've actually happened.
I think you'll agree, it would have been very unfortunate.
After all, dying is a very serious business.
It's so permanent! Which brings us to the commercial.
-The price? -A high one.
One which you can well afford.
In cash.
The place The money will be delivered in Don't worry.
We'll supply you with one.
Don't tell me.
Unwin rang Maxsted.
And Maxsted rang me.
He's asked for his million.
-In cash? -On the nail.
-Collected when? -Unwin didn't say.
He'll call back.
When he does, I hope Maxsted Will be calling you.
When? I see.
Thanks for calling.
He's collected the money? He's asked Maxsted to deliver it to his house.
There's still time.
You have a plan? That's right.
Ready? It's a combined operation.
Open house today, I see.
Forgive me, but I have an urgent appointment.
Carry on! Don't let me get in your way.
What's this? Off on a shopping spree? It's a private transaction.
Isn't your cheque enough? My dealings are my own concern.
I disagree.
This deal is everyone's.
I know what's going on.
You're being threatened, aren't you? If I am, that's my affair.
-I can take care of myself.
-Then why are you paying? I can do what I like with my money.
They'll be back.
Look, I told you.
I can take care of this myself and I don't need your help.
Now just go and promise me you'll stay out of this.
All right, I'll go.
But for the rest Unwin won't talk.
He's going his own way.
Has he left? Not yet.
But when he does, I won't be far behind.
Quite a catch! What do you use for bait? Up you get! Take me to your leader or lead me to your taker.
You've obeyed your instructions to a tee.
Well done.
You followed me? Not quite.
What's that? Your million.
Which I hope to retrieve very soon.
If you do, you'd better hurry.
-Why? -I said I'd handle this alone.
There's a bomb in that case.
It's due to go off in 15 minutes.
I dropped it here.
Who cares where the case is as long as it doesn't explode before arriving? Mrs.
Peel's car was back there You mean she I'm sorry.
I should have told you.
But I had been murdered four times.
If anything happens to Mrs.
Peel, there'll be a fifth.
Hold it.
A word in your ear.
Your silence is requested.
No sign of anything.
We've not much time.
It's in that direction.
"E.
P.
" Mrs.
Emma Peel! And your name? Needle.
Nathaniel Needle.
In a haystack.
A little joke of mine.
I thought I was impossible to find.
How did you manage it? I don't think I heard your reply.
That's not surprising.
I didn't answer.
Tall, slim, auburn-haired.
Your description was passed to one of my men before you killed him.
Pity.
He was a good man.
Get that case out of sight! Haven't much time.
It's due to go off at 3:00.
Let's try that caravan.
That's quite a haul.
Where are you heading? The Bahamas? South America? The moon? Safe deposit and then back again for more.
Soon, I'll be the richest man in the world and the most powerful.
Keep an eye on those two.
But now, we must find a way of dealing with Mrs.
Peel.
There's no one there.
-Where's the case? -In the van.
But there's a bomb in that case.
Don't be silly.
I've been carrying it around Bang goes the million.
And 10,000! How much is that? 920,000.
Right.
10,000.
I didn't know you had so much money.
Neither did I.
If I didn't know you better I'd say you'd been very thrifty.
Forgetful.
Save a little each week, soon amounts up! Certainly does.
Is it wise to leave all this cash lying around? You're quite right.
Soon as it's counted, I'll pop down to the bank.
Totter.
With this little lot, you'll be tottering down to the bank.
I see what you mean.
Maybe I could use an armoured car.
Or two.
I hope this isn't going to change your mode of living.
This vast wealth.
Of course not! I still retain the old values.
9,999? -It can't be! -Impossible.
You're one short of a million! There's no status without it! Who ever heard of a 999,999-aire? Wait a minute.
There.
Success! I made it! You are now a self-made, fully fledged, half-penny millionaire.