The Awesomes (2013) s01e03 Episode Script

Baby Got Backstory

- We can do this! You ready? - Yeah! Hit him! Okay, sorta' good.
But, Muscleman, maybe without destroying buildings.
- On it! - Nice move, Gadget, but watch where Oh, I'm at DEFCON 4, baby.
I think I've got a Toyota Tercel on my behind.
Geez, Sumo! Nail that cockroach! Nice, okay, Hotwire, give him the juice.
But first make sure that Muscleman is Yeah, roaches check in but they don't check out.
Impresario, the team wasn't clear yet, we Damn - Frantic! Run in and form a - On it! Frantic you're just sending the gas back - right into the city.
- Sorry, can I get a time-out? - I need to powder my nose.
- Aw, man! End simulation! - You have to pee again? - Sorry, girlie.
My body may have been dosed with a reverse aging ray turning my into this hot tamale.
But my bladder still thinks - I'm 80 years old.
- Oh, I'll go with you.
Some girl time.
I don't do that, Hotwire.
I've always been pee shy, since the Korean War.
Those sneaky little fellows always liked to grab a look.
- Oh no, no, I wouldn't - Flying solo! You guys did a pretty good job on that simulation.
The teamwork is better but you're not anticipating each other's actions, the group has to start developing a more unspoken language.
You just have to, you know, get more familiar with each other.
Oh, I see where this is going.
If we going to have an orgy there are, like, 50 things I should go grab from my room.
No, I mean, we What's happening? Why are we on lockdown? - Did anyone touch anything? - We're in rock down? I love to rock down.
- Woo-hoo! - Lockdown! The Holographic Image Projection Integration Engine Room is in lockdown.
It's so much faster if you just call it the HIPIER.
I don't know, makes it sound like the room is getting chunky.
"These skinny leg jeans make me look HIPIER.
" Focus, please, lockdown means we're stuck in here.
Well, that's a problem.
We have to postpone the orgy, because I have, like, 50 things in my room specifically for my first orgy.
That's not our only problem.
I've got company! Tomboy is here! Tomboy? That's Gadget Gal's archenemy.
How did she get into Awesome Mountain? That's okay, kiddo.
I've been taking down bad guys for 50 years.
And this is just one more.
But I really do have to pee.
What news do we have? Is it happening? Yes, Dr.
Malocchio.
The Awesomes are trapped! Wonderful, all is going exactly as planned.
Now all we have to do - is wait.
- Or, we could get sushi and come back.
Ooh, sushi, yes! This feels awesome This feels awesome Yeah, this feels awesome Yeah, this feels awesome This feels awesome This feels so awesome Muscleman, Sumo, you can't knock the door down.
It's protected by a force field.
Yeah, we know, but this is a good workout for the lats.
That's it, big man.
Keep the knees bent, tone up the glutes.
- Gadget Gal, are you okay? - Fit as a fiddle.
- How's it going there, Tomboy? - I'm just peachy, Gadget Gal, you? - Can't complain.
- Out for a stroll? - Headed for the little girls' room.
- Well, you may get a few breaks, but one of them won't be a pee break.
Classy! - I try.
- Try harder.
- I will! - Big talk! - It ain't talk! - Funny 'cause that's all you're doing I'm not Wish I lost the thread there.
- Wait, all I'm doing is - Talking! Got it, thank you.
- Talk is cheap! - And you're a cheap date, sister.
If that ain't the kettle, I'm Mamie Eisenhower.
- You're a nickle-a-dance Mary.
- More like a dime! Good Lord! They fight so boring.
- Seriously! - I barely understand them.
- Here, use this.
- Gadget, lay her out! Smack her right in the kisser! There's more than one way to skin a cat.
Um, give her a taste of her own medicine.
You ain't just whistling Dixie, Professor Doctor! Oh, that's in here.
I seem to have hit a bit of a snafu.
- What? - I don't have my purse.
- How did this happen? - Prock, you're smart.
You'll fix it.
That's the whole problem.
I created this program.
It's designed to counter all of our abilities.
- Why would you do that? - I was worried that Dr.
Malocchio would take over one of their minds.
Turn them into traitors.
- Traitors, them? - I know, I hate to think it too, but this lockdown got enacted by someone in here, or someone out there.
Hotwire, you have to remember that when Dr.
Malocchio is at large, don't trust anyone.
Except me of course, and you know, I'll trust you.
You and I'll be trust buddies! Gadget Gal, I'm sorry.
We're gonna keep trying to get out.
You try and hang in and, um, remain being the bees knees.
Oh, you don't worry about me, Dolly.
You worry about Captain Butch Pants over there.
My name is Tomboy! I haven't gone by Captain Butch Pants since the '70s.
God damn feminists! - We really can't get out of here? - Not for a while.
That dumb computer runs a diagnostic scan that won't let us out until it knows that our minds haven't been compromised.
- How long does it take? - Two damn hours! Two hours of us stuck in here while our teammate fights for - her life inside our headquarters.
- Ah, so, we can't get out? Dude! Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude! We should tell stories, to each other, about our past and stuff.
Huddle up, huddle up! Origin stories, y'all.
Full-on flashback, how you got your super powers origin stories! Like real superheroes! We're not going to sit around and tell stories.
We have a teammate who is out there Hey! Is this hot cocoa with milk? It's phenomenal! No, no, no, this is not how a team acts, when a member's in danger.
I'm on fire, I'm on fire! Ah, thank you.
Now, where was I? Right, no Origin stories! I don't know, Prock.
You did say that we're trapped for two hours.
It might be an opportune time for some bonding.
You even said that we needed to strengthen our unspoken language.
We may even glean some information - that would benefit the team in the field.
- Yes, gleaning sounds like - something we should do.
- What about you, Tim? What was it like when you got your powers? Well, I don't have too much to say about it.
- I've always had my powers.
- Just one more push! - There he is, it's a boy! - Wah! Our insurance had better cover this.
- That it? - Yup.
Well, then I destroyed - a T.
J.
Maxx in Alameda - I love T.
J.
Maxx.
I'm a Maxxinista.
I can't do this.
Gadget Gal is out there fighting on her own and - we're in here talking! Gadget, you okay? - I've had to do a little Jerry-rigging.
But I'm hanging in there like Eleanor Roosevelt in '45! Sucks to be you, don't it? - You ready to call uncle? - Yes! But that's why I brought some friends! - The Bowling Team! - Wanna roll a few frames? Gadget Gal, status report! I'm fine, Prock.
I've got her on the ropes.
- Looks like I can pick up a spare.
- This is one pin that will never go dow Ugh.
- Jinxed myself! - That doesn't sound good.
OMG.
Gadget Gal's gonna die? And there's nothing we can do about it? Hey, whatever, let's get back to the origin stories.
What about you, Concierge? - How did you get mixed up in this game? - Oh, you don't wanna hear about me.
I don't have any superpowers or anything special.
That's true, but I'm not really paying attention.
Fine.
It all started for me when I was a little girl.
It began at the semi-regional pre-junior Miss Teen of Baton Rouge Pageant.
I thought I wanted that crown so bad, - but then I found something I wanted more.
- Channel 9 says our event isn't newsworthy enough to send a reporter.
And Victor Amberson, who only ever just sang Here Comes Little Miss Wonderful every single time we did this pageant, lost his voice.
Shoot and scramble eggs! Darling, could you hold this for me for just two shakes? - What, what is this? - Oh, just my day planner.
Something awakened in me.
Something I'd never felt before.
It was like I saw the world for the first time.
I could see it all.
I wanted to beorganized! Hey, Dolly, you must have someone there who can drive the catering van.
Well, if she's got a drivers permit it's legal.
Just put an elderly person sitting shotgun.
Thank you.
Hey there, Channel 9? I'm at the pre-junior Miss Teen of Baton Rouge pageant.
One of the girls just walked on stage with a bomb strapped to her chest.
Might wanna get down here.
- Hey, janitor, can you sing? - I can carry a tune.
Get him in a tuxedo.
Also, we need a generator.
- Why do we need a generator? - Because those hair dryers are about to blow your power.
Can I get a damn latte up in here? And after years of training, I've learned to get what people need.
I became the Concierge! - So, did the girl with the bomb blow herself up? - You're an idiot! How about you, Hotwire? - How did you get started? - Oh, you know, it's not that interesting.
It's okay, Concierge was boring and we didn't mind.
- I thought you weren't listening.
- Listening to what? Oh, come on, Hotwire.
I think I speak for all of us when I say we'd like to know more about you and if possible everything about you.
And we just think you're great.
And as a reminder, I'm speaking - for all of us, and not just me.
- I thought you were too worried - about Gadget Gal to hear origin stories.
- Gadget Gal is going to die.
And we should just come to terms with that.
Ready when you are, Hotwire.
No, I really mean it.
There isn't much to tell.
Um, I'm from Portland.
My dad was a Social Studies teacher.
My mom sold real estate.
I got my powers when I was 16.
I always read comics so I thought being a superhero - would be crazy-amazing.
- You read comics? I read comics too.
I was way into hero comics until I was about 14.
Then I got into goth books.
I wore all black.
Played a lot of Morrissey and they put me on antidepressants.
Do you like fantasy novels? Hotwire, I thought you said your dad taught math.
Oh, yeah, he taught math for a few years but it was mainly social studies.
You ever read any Hervert Wintanson? I was totally obsessed with his Dark Crimson Unicorn series.
- I even stalked him at his house.
- Cool, and what about you, - Impresario? You're from Atlanta? - Yeah, the Big peach.
The A, Hotlanta.
The A town.
Man, I hated it there.
I had my own style, my own way of looking at the world.
My own way of being in the world.
But not everyone appreciated it.
They don't understand you, baby! You see the whole world differently than them.
Your head's so full of ideas.
You just look around and see what you can create.
- That makes you special, baby.
- Maybe I don't wanna be special.
Darlin', I don't think you have a choice.
But then one day, when I was communing with nature, which I often did.
I mean, if I had the right coat that blended with an outdoor palette.
Then I saw it! It was like it spoke to me! It could be magic! It could be from an alien world! I didn't know what the stone was.
I still don't! But I could feel right away what it could do! Heh-heh, look at that guy.
Oh, how I do enjoy teasing people on their appearance! Y'all just don't have any sense.
Sense of style, that is! Woo, you right baby! I think these hoodlums need a makeover! And I've been conjuring all kinds of style ever since.
But why do you always make your mom - Don't! - I love my momma.
- I love my mom too, but - Stop, don't even Just stop! My momma is an inspiration.
She gave me the encouragement to be the man I am.
And I'm so proud of you, baby! - I can even hear her right now.
- I can hear her too.
Jeez, now I'm - getting weird about his mom.
- No, it's coming from the intercom.
Hello, Mrs.
Sullivan? Yeah, how you doing, Professor Doctor? Momma, is that you? Yeah, I came for a visit.
Is now a bad time? - Momma! What are you doing here? - I was just coming by to see how you were doing.
I wanted to meet all your new friends.
I brought some banana bread.
Do not make me come over there.
That's right, babydoll! Get Momma out there so I can save Momma! It won't work, Impresario! We're in lockdown.
And I programmed the defences to neutralize each of our abilities.
Prock, you're too smart for your own damn good! Yeah, he's always been like that.
Even since we were kids.
You guys knew each other when you were kids? - Origin story! - It all began years ago The Awesomes were at the top of their game.
Prock's dad, Mr.
Awesome, leading the charge and, my dad, Muscleman, like my granddad, was carrying on the Muscleman tradition.
Me and Prock were too young to join the team, so we became the teenage crime fighting duo of Brains and Brawn! Brains and Brawn, Brains and Brawn One of them thinking The other is strong Brains and Brawn, Brains and Brawn! Fighting for justice from Dusk until dawn One is a genius The other is Brawn Hooray for Brains and Brawn Brains and Brawn! That's right, Lasso Lady.
Use that cable to tie his feet.
General Contractor, use your wall-building power to protect those school kids.
Hammer-Foot? Kick him in the nuts! Man, listen to you! You'd make a great team leader.
Yeah, like my dad would ever let that happen.
- You know what I love best about monitor duty? - The possibility of being alerted to criminal activity and being thrown into superhero action? Nope.
It gives me time to read.
I love books.
It's not a book.
You know our dads would kill you if they knew you were - reading girlie mags on monitor duty.
- Who do you think gave his stash? - My dad rocks.
- Yeah, he does.
Alert, alert! A level 7 criminal act is in progress - in the financial district! - Hat Trick! We've gotta stop 'em! Yeah, but they're a level 7 on the bad-dude scale.
You and me aren't supposed to be taking on anything above a level 2.
But the Awesomes are halfway around the world! What are we supposed to do? Let the police handle it? That's exactly what we're supposed to do.
Should we call Perfect Man? - He can fly back from Japan in no time.
- Perfect Man? Ugh, no, no, no no! We gotta handle it! You and me! This is a job for "Brains and Brawn"! Yeah, let's get that money, eh? - Oh, look at that, eh? - Oh, yeah, eh.
Hold it right there! I think someone's earned some time in the penalty box.
Hockey reference! You are so good at this! - Brains, are you okay? - I'm fine, get Hat Trick! I guess this proves Hockey sucks! I made a hockey reference too! One more, and we'll have three hockey references.
- Wait, I should have said Hat Trick! - Brawn, look out! They feed off one another! Stop! They need to be together to power up again, the 3 of them.
Just take one of them out and start! - Ah! - Now, Brawn! Hit them now! That's it, buddy, looks like we're gonna win this one in overtime! Puck! Yeah! Hey, you know, our banter is really coming together! What were you thinking? You could have gotten killed out there, both of you! - We had to do something.
- I told you to call the police! - They would've stopped them! - But we stopped them.
- Kinda - You shouldn't do anything.
The only reason I let you be on monitor duty is because Muscleman's son was with you! - He's got powers, not you! - I've got Jeremy, you're smart, but you can go to school and get all the degrees in the world, and they won't make you a superhero! Great story, right? I guess I probably could've out the part - at the end where your dad was such a bummer.
- Yeah.
If he was here, I bet he'd take it all back.
No, if he was here he'd know talk isn't going to help us.
- We need to do something! - Like what? I don't know! Yes! I can practically feel it! By now, their spirits will begin to wither.
Their dark secrets are being exposed! Wounds will be opened! Dennis, you take another piece of sashimi, I swear to God you'll pull back a stump! That's right, that's right.
California roll! - Tuck and roll, girl! Tuck and roll! - We gotta get out there! - I'm thinking! - We gotta do more than think! What good is this stupid magical alien gemstone - if I can't save her? - Aw, you don't need that, baby! - What? - That super-magical stone-thing is actually well, just one of my earrings.
I knew you needed a push booboo.
You needed an excuse to be special.
So, I planted one of my earrings.
I was hoping you'd find it and think it was magical.
Well, then, how do I conjure everything? That's you, baby.
That power, that's all you.
You have a different power.
You have a different power! The safeguards are negating our powers! I programmed your safeguard to lock onto your gemstone as a conduit! But you don't need a conduit! So, conjure something, and break down that door! What's wrong? I do still like the gem as a way of pulling the outfit together.
I see red, baby! HIPIER safeguards are in flux.
- Hotwire, short out the room.
- Everyone, stand back! - Frantic, clear the smoke! - On it! I lit the room making torches from the campfire.
- Can you guys see? - It's looking good.
Sumo, Muscleman, can you get that door for us? On it! - Okay! - What's going on? While y'all were banging down your doors and cleaning up your campfire, we had a little chat.
Seems that Tomboy is, well, a lady who has certain romantic preferences.
- Like your Aunt Helen.
- Oh, oh! Aunt Helen lives in San Fran - with her best friend, Jennifer.
- Cool.
And Tomboy has been carrying a torch for our Gadget Gal.
- Big, misdirected anger kinda torch.
- Well, Lorraine, I guess I was slow as molasses and didn't get them telegrams you were sending.
But I spent 80 years being a boy-crazy gal.
I don't exactly know how to operate your switchboard, if you know what I mean.
I know, but I always hoped I could show you how - good we could be together.
- By attacking me for 50 years? I know! I'm awful at expressing my emotions.
Hey, you got us out.
I knew you could do it.
It's still strange that Tomboy put us in lockdown.
Unless it was someone else.
Damn it! - Sir? - If you came here to tell me that they freed themselves and that my plan failed and that I'm no closer - to achieving my goal, I already know.
- No, Sir, the dry cleaners didn't get that - red wine stain out of your cardigan.
- Can this day get any worse?! Set a course for the Gap.
They better not have discontinued that sweater! - Hey, we didn't expect you.
- You want some banana bread? Impresario's mom made it.
It's not good at all.
But she says it's made with love.
- Love must taste like feet.
- No, we have not come to eat your - incredibly fattening American sweets.
- Mom! Dad! - What are you doing here? - We have come to take you home.
- Home? - Yes, you can no longer be a member of The Awesomes.
He's leaving with us! Now! Here, here, here.
Take this little plate with you.
Mrs.
Sullivan.
You don't make Impresario's bed every day, do you? Only in the morning.
I've suspended turn down service.
My baby just has to learn to take care of himself.
But I do like to make sure that he's eaten.
So, I leave out some Jack Link's jerky.
My boy needs his protein to fight the monsters and whatnot.
- Here, have some.
- How old is he, again? Momma, this bath water is getting cold.
Which one turns on the hot again? - I'm gonna go.
- It's on the left! Oh, I'll come do it.
How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't let me touch you? How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't even dance? How am I supposed to know That you're high If you won't even dance? Yeah you won't even dance