The Batman (2004) s03e08 Episode Script
Fleurs du Mal
Believe me, Councilman Vargas I love Gotham Park as much as you do.
But our citizens need a new hospital.
And the only feasible way to accomplish that, is to pave over the park.
Come in.
Come in! That's my decision, unpopular as it may seem.
Goodnight.
Flowers? Well, I guess somebody out there still likes me.
I love this park as much as you do, so believe me when I tell you Gotham Park isn't going anywhere, ever! In fact, this will be the first site to benefit from my new plan to "Green up Gotham!" We'll tear up the sidewalks to plant more grass more trees and more flowers! Time for mild-mannered Barbara Gordon to scope out the commissioner's office for some cases.
Delivery for Commissioner Gordon.
"Baudelaires"? You can leave them there.
You got it, commissioner.
Secret admirer, Pop? Hm! "From Mayor Grange.
" Didn't think you were his type.
The mayor's really running wild with this whole "Green up Gotham" thing.
Politicians.
How was school, Barb? Me learned good today.
How's work? Neck-deep in a new case.
Penguin, huh? What crime did he commit this time? A daughter can't take an interest in her father's work? We can catch up at dinner, kiddo.
Okay, but don't work too hard.
Remember to stop and smell the Whatever those are.
Ah, ahh, achoo! Gesundheit.
I beg your pardon, Master Bruce I seem to be suffering from a touch of Ah, ahh, achoo! hay fever.
Most unusual this time of year.
That's not all that's unusual, Alfred.
Penguin went to a whole lot of trouble to steal a truckload of chemicals last night.
Might he be planning to poison the water supply or Achoo! blow something up? The chemical Penguin took is non-toxic and non-combustible.
A-G-I.
Silver iodide.
Used to make photographs or seed clouds for precipitation.
So Penguin either wants to start a photo album Achoo! Or he wants to make it rain.
The question is why? Can't say I'm in the mood for rain, Penguin.
I just washed my car.
Too bad, Bat-breath.
Because my forecast calls for a And a hundred percent chance of me kicking your butt.
Huh! Since when are you so interested in the weather, Penguin? Don't you read the papers, Bat-wit? The mayor wants to "Green up Gotham!" Aaah! Huh! Aah! Aarggh! I'll bet chopped bat makes good fertilizer.
Oh, oh, huh, ah! Penguin? Plant matter.
Commissioner, moments ago this mulch was Penguin.
Never mind that.
I thought I could count on you Batman, but if you won't obey the law, then I will place you under arrest.
On what charge? Homicide.
You killed this plant.
Take him downtown.
Since when is it against the law to harm a plant? Since this afternoon, when the City Council passed the Vegetation Rights Act.
All right, plant killer, let's go.
Sir? Anything strange on the radar, Alfred? You mean, anything besides City Council announcing a ban on lawn mowers? Oh, forgive me, sir.
My hay fever has grown even worse since your flowers arrived.
Flowers? From Mayor Grange.
"Keep Gotham Green.
" Alfred.
Destroy them.
Now.
The mayor is cultivating rather unusual plants, sir.
He isn't the only one.
The police aren't themselves all the way up to Gordon.
Sir? Barbara may be in trouble.
Hello, Barbara.
Pop, do we need to put a bell on you? Dinner will be ready in a few I brought you something.
The mayor's secondhand stems, how sweet.
No, Barbara.
These were picked especially for you.
Smell them.
Fishy.
What? Don't you trust me? I trust my dad! And you're a little too into flowers to be him! Aah! Daddy's angry.
Daddy's green.
Ah! Not even close to human.
You thinking who I'm thinking? Poison Ivy.
And apparently working with a new strain of plant life.
But if she's replacing people with living plant clones, what's she doing with the originals? Maybe we should ask the florist.
"Baudelaires.
" Let me slip into something more comfortable.
Oh, are you here for some You knew she was a plant, right? I'm betting this doesn't lead to the break room.
Whoa! Pop.
No.
Ivy's replaced the most powerful people in Gotham.
Well, of course.
Who better to help me spread the gospel of green? Release them, Ivy.
Why? They've never been happier.
See, while their plant twins pave the way for my Gotham takeover, tiny plant toxins are working overtime helping these human counterparts to finally appreciate the wonders of nature.
Green is good.
Ivy and clovers and dandelions.
It's all so pretty.
They'll love plant life just as much as I do, for the rest of their unwaking days.
There's one slight problem with your plan, Ivy.
Us.
Huh! Uh! Ah! Ah.
Bummer.
But here.
Flowers always cheer me up.
I bred these darlings myself.
They possess highly evolved replication characteristics.
Nature's little mimics, I call them.
What do you say we go turn the rest of Gotham into plant peeps? I'm up for it.
Let's party! It'll be a snap.
These pups are ultra fast-growing, with plenty of water.
And with millions of seeds already planted in Gotham Park, I'm gonna just love watching my garden grow.
Oh, and don't worry.
In just a few moments you'll be feeling right as rain.
The Batman? You are going to love it here.
Hey, everybody, look who's checking in.
Hello.
How is he? He's everywhere.
It's so pretty.
Brain activity low.
Possible cause, obstruction.
Transmitting electronic pulse.
Five more minutes? Are you all right, commissioner? As long as I never have to pick another daisy.
You're not through picking yet.
They need your help.
All fixed! Gotham's human population is about to be canceled on account of rain! Ivy's finished.
Here comes your evil twin.
Mine can't be far behind.
I'm right here, ugly.
Huh.
Try again.
You must not like broccoli.
Hate it.
Let it pour! Drink up, my babies.
Too late.
Get them! Direct hit! But it's still pouring.
The projectile was filled with a highly concentrated herbicide.
It's raining weed-killer.
No.
Attack! My babies.
Your babies are mulch, Ivy.
Thanks for doing your part to "Green up Gotham.
"
But our citizens need a new hospital.
And the only feasible way to accomplish that, is to pave over the park.
Come in.
Come in! That's my decision, unpopular as it may seem.
Goodnight.
Flowers? Well, I guess somebody out there still likes me.
I love this park as much as you do, so believe me when I tell you Gotham Park isn't going anywhere, ever! In fact, this will be the first site to benefit from my new plan to "Green up Gotham!" We'll tear up the sidewalks to plant more grass more trees and more flowers! Time for mild-mannered Barbara Gordon to scope out the commissioner's office for some cases.
Delivery for Commissioner Gordon.
"Baudelaires"? You can leave them there.
You got it, commissioner.
Secret admirer, Pop? Hm! "From Mayor Grange.
" Didn't think you were his type.
The mayor's really running wild with this whole "Green up Gotham" thing.
Politicians.
How was school, Barb? Me learned good today.
How's work? Neck-deep in a new case.
Penguin, huh? What crime did he commit this time? A daughter can't take an interest in her father's work? We can catch up at dinner, kiddo.
Okay, but don't work too hard.
Remember to stop and smell the Whatever those are.
Ah, ahh, achoo! Gesundheit.
I beg your pardon, Master Bruce I seem to be suffering from a touch of Ah, ahh, achoo! hay fever.
Most unusual this time of year.
That's not all that's unusual, Alfred.
Penguin went to a whole lot of trouble to steal a truckload of chemicals last night.
Might he be planning to poison the water supply or Achoo! blow something up? The chemical Penguin took is non-toxic and non-combustible.
A-G-I.
Silver iodide.
Used to make photographs or seed clouds for precipitation.
So Penguin either wants to start a photo album Achoo! Or he wants to make it rain.
The question is why? Can't say I'm in the mood for rain, Penguin.
I just washed my car.
Too bad, Bat-breath.
Because my forecast calls for a And a hundred percent chance of me kicking your butt.
Huh! Since when are you so interested in the weather, Penguin? Don't you read the papers, Bat-wit? The mayor wants to "Green up Gotham!" Aaah! Huh! Aah! Aarggh! I'll bet chopped bat makes good fertilizer.
Oh, oh, huh, ah! Penguin? Plant matter.
Commissioner, moments ago this mulch was Penguin.
Never mind that.
I thought I could count on you Batman, but if you won't obey the law, then I will place you under arrest.
On what charge? Homicide.
You killed this plant.
Take him downtown.
Since when is it against the law to harm a plant? Since this afternoon, when the City Council passed the Vegetation Rights Act.
All right, plant killer, let's go.
Sir? Anything strange on the radar, Alfred? You mean, anything besides City Council announcing a ban on lawn mowers? Oh, forgive me, sir.
My hay fever has grown even worse since your flowers arrived.
Flowers? From Mayor Grange.
"Keep Gotham Green.
" Alfred.
Destroy them.
Now.
The mayor is cultivating rather unusual plants, sir.
He isn't the only one.
The police aren't themselves all the way up to Gordon.
Sir? Barbara may be in trouble.
Hello, Barbara.
Pop, do we need to put a bell on you? Dinner will be ready in a few I brought you something.
The mayor's secondhand stems, how sweet.
No, Barbara.
These were picked especially for you.
Smell them.
Fishy.
What? Don't you trust me? I trust my dad! And you're a little too into flowers to be him! Aah! Daddy's angry.
Daddy's green.
Ah! Not even close to human.
You thinking who I'm thinking? Poison Ivy.
And apparently working with a new strain of plant life.
But if she's replacing people with living plant clones, what's she doing with the originals? Maybe we should ask the florist.
"Baudelaires.
" Let me slip into something more comfortable.
Oh, are you here for some You knew she was a plant, right? I'm betting this doesn't lead to the break room.
Whoa! Pop.
No.
Ivy's replaced the most powerful people in Gotham.
Well, of course.
Who better to help me spread the gospel of green? Release them, Ivy.
Why? They've never been happier.
See, while their plant twins pave the way for my Gotham takeover, tiny plant toxins are working overtime helping these human counterparts to finally appreciate the wonders of nature.
Green is good.
Ivy and clovers and dandelions.
It's all so pretty.
They'll love plant life just as much as I do, for the rest of their unwaking days.
There's one slight problem with your plan, Ivy.
Us.
Huh! Uh! Ah! Ah.
Bummer.
But here.
Flowers always cheer me up.
I bred these darlings myself.
They possess highly evolved replication characteristics.
Nature's little mimics, I call them.
What do you say we go turn the rest of Gotham into plant peeps? I'm up for it.
Let's party! It'll be a snap.
These pups are ultra fast-growing, with plenty of water.
And with millions of seeds already planted in Gotham Park, I'm gonna just love watching my garden grow.
Oh, and don't worry.
In just a few moments you'll be feeling right as rain.
The Batman? You are going to love it here.
Hey, everybody, look who's checking in.
Hello.
How is he? He's everywhere.
It's so pretty.
Brain activity low.
Possible cause, obstruction.
Transmitting electronic pulse.
Five more minutes? Are you all right, commissioner? As long as I never have to pick another daisy.
You're not through picking yet.
They need your help.
All fixed! Gotham's human population is about to be canceled on account of rain! Ivy's finished.
Here comes your evil twin.
Mine can't be far behind.
I'm right here, ugly.
Huh.
Try again.
You must not like broccoli.
Hate it.
Let it pour! Drink up, my babies.
Too late.
Get them! Direct hit! But it's still pouring.
The projectile was filled with a highly concentrated herbicide.
It's raining weed-killer.
No.
Attack! My babies.
Your babies are mulch, Ivy.
Thanks for doing your part to "Green up Gotham.
"