The Bear (2022) s02e01 Episode Script


(SOFTLY) Itchy.
(SOFTLY) Towel.

What's the long face? ♪
What's all the crying for? ♪
Didn't you expect it ♪
Fak, it's a facelift, it's not a gut.
Bear, it is a facelift and a gut.
- He is not wrong, Jeffrey.
- SYDNEY: Hey.
- How's my budget looking?
- Great.
- Not good.
- Shitty.
CARMY: Alright. Fuck this. Watch.
The Bear, alright?
We have equipment that works.
That's a great start, everybody. Zero.
Then we have a deep clean
- SYDNEY: Very.
- Very deep
clean and drywall insulation.
Tables, chairs
The fridge is still
fucked and the gas line
The fryer is fucked.
The fryer is fucked.
That's 5K right there.
No, that's ten for a
used piece-of-shit fryer.
And then another ten
for the correct fryer.
And the oven is scary,
that's another ten.
Okay, good. Alright, so we got 20.
- Thirty. Thirty. The oven.
- Thirty? Fuck me.
Then we got the windows,
the demo, the brick.
That's 50K plus 20K, that is 70K.
- Plus 30, that's 80K
- CARMY: That's not bad. Really?
Fuck me. Cousin!
Plus the permits, the
inspections, and the licenses.
- CARMY: Yes. Right. Okay!
- And those people aren't nice.
- CARMY: 10K, 10K, plus 70K.
- Smart thinking, Neil.
CARMY: So we're at 80.
- Eighty.
- Ninety.
Ninety. Ninety.
- I was gonna say 90, okay.
- SUGAR: Fridge is fucked.
- Also AC.
So we are at 85.
- SYDNEY: Hmm.
- Ha, ha, no, just kidding.
Ninety-five, 95K.
SYDNEY: Just out of morbid curiosity,
how accurate do we think
these numbers are?
I think I am pretty much right
on a couple of 'em.
And you have to pay us, Jeffrey.
She's right about that, Jefferson.
I know. I'm aware. And I've already
I've set that aside, okay?
Also, I still don't see
the drywall on there.
Yes, right, no. Richie's brother-in-law,
he's gonna do the drywall, actually.
Cousin! Where the fuck is he?
It's so weird when he doesn't answer me.
- He's downstairs.
- He's still downstairs?
- Still, yeah.
- Alright, I'll be back.
We need more money.
We need a project manager.
Okay. You're hired.
- Yeah, right.
- Yeah. Right.
- Syd.
- Nat.
- Not good.
- No. Bad. Bad.
falls down ♪
See, the lights do a long ♪
Slow fade ♪
The show goes on ♪
Yo. Cousin, can you call Sal?
I need a drywall estimate.
CARMY: Thirteen what? For what?
That'll be his drywall estimate.
Yo, you ever think about purpose?
I love you, but I do not
have time for this, alright?
I have time for this.
What's my purpose, homie?
Your shirt says "Original Berf."
It's a printing mistake.
Collector's item.
Yo, um, I'm trying
really hard to be on board
with all this new shit, cousin.
I'm, uh, I'm reading a lot.
I'm trying to learn about
who am I to my history.
So in one of these books,
there's this dude who's got
like, no skills,
no personality, nothin'.
All he does is watches trains.
Watches trains do what?
RICHIE: Watches 'em be trains.
And he's got this
group of friends that he's had
since he's a little kid,
you know, and they're all the shit
and they're outgrowing him, like,
one's like a sick athlete,
one's a genius.
This other one's nasty on the keys.
Then, this other one, she's got, like,
charisma like a motherfucker.
And one day, out of the blue,
They drop his ass.
They just cut that motherfucker off.
Why do they do that?
'Cause he's got no purpose.
Okay, so, wh-what does he do?
RICHIE: I don't know.
I haven't read that far.
But I do know that I'm
forty-five. I've been here a long time.
You feel me?
I mean, you know what the fuck
you're doing, you know.
You love all this shit.
It's fun for you.
I don't have that.
I'm afraid one day, I'm gonna wake up
and you guys are all just gonna cut
just drop this ass.
Richie, I'm not gonna drop this ass.
This shit's not fun for me.
- RICHIE: Yeah, but you love it.
That doesn't make it fun.
If this shit is not fun for you, cousin,
what the fuck is fun for you?
I don't know. I have to
get back to you on that.

All these pots are toast, mama.
We're gonna have to get
the good-good for the new Jeff.
SYDNEY: New Jeff?
If Carmy is the executive chef
and you're the CDC,
you're the new Carmy.
We need a new Sydney.
Um, okay, well, good-good is expensive.
So let's just see
what we can salvage here.
Sydney, look at this shit.
Half of these pots
are burnt on one side.
Well, you know, it's always about
the craftsperson, not the tools.
Yeah, okay, these are, um,
just really cheap, shitty
restaurant supply bullshit.
Maybe we can Bar Keepers
Friend some of them.
Hmm, science, baby.
Well, do you want a little more science?
Always. I love learning this shit.
Okay, well, on the good-good,
there's, like, all these
stacked layers of steel,
and in between them is an aluminum core.
You're an aluminum core.
- TINA: Oh, hi, baby.
- What's up, T?
- How you doing?
- Aw.
Just, like, lurking, waiting
till I, like, said that or
No, no, I just walked in,
perfect timing.
Yeah, okay.
- How is she?
- MARCUS: All good.
Um, nurse just had an emergency.
She'll be back tomorrow,
and Chester's got her.
If you need anything
Yeah, I know.
FAK: When your
back's against the wall ♪
That's when I kick you in the balls ♪
Ballbreaker ♪
I'm gonna find you a new home.
That's gonna be my home.
Your home's my home.
Oh, don't worry about me.
I got it, you know. Just heavy as shit.
Shit, uh Well, never mind.
That was much easier.
Saxophones started blowing me down ♪
I was buried in sound ♪
Taxicabs were driving me around ♪
To the handshake drugs
I bought downtown ♪
SYDNEY: Corner.
RICHIE: Corner.
To the handshake drugs ♪
I bought downtown ♪
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
They were translated poorly ♪
Yo. Nat, what was that
great idea we had the other day?
- The one I said to write down?
- CARMY: Yeah.
I don't suppose you wrote it down?
- No. I'm starving. You want?
- SUGAR: No, that's yours.
I thought I wanted it,
but then I wanted to throw up.
In other news, I reviewed your numbers.
Mm-hmm. And?
Aside from being vaguely
kinda a little bit sorta close,
you're missing an IRS stipulation.
Which IRS stipulation?
SUGAR: The one that says businesses
have to have
all previous debts be current
Yeah, but we're on a payment plan.
and complete before any new
business license is granted.
That can't possibly be true.
SUGAR: Here.
Alright. So that's,
that's definitely true.
Okay, great, I can figure that out.
Um, thank you. Thank
you for, uh, for helping today
but you have to get the fuck outta here.
- You gotta save yourself.
- Um
Sydney asked me to be project manager.
Really? That's interesting.
What did you say?
That it was interesting
and that I'd think about.
We need a project manager?
Yes. Yes, we do. Very much so.
Yes. Hello. Good morning.
I'm not making the same
mistakes I made last time.
Yeah, but then, you know,
who's gonna approve
all these insane interest rates?
Oh, that's nice. Carm, go fuck yourself?
- What's going on?
- Oh, you're not gonna like it.
- Awesome.
- SYDNEY: So gas is off
until hoods and overheads
pass the new fire suppression test.
- Okay. Is that a Fak? Sounds like a Fak.
- No, it is not a Fak.
It is not a Fak.
It's a specialist. Aw.
- Shit.
- SYDNEY: Yeah, shit.
But some good news.
Everybody is food certified
except for Ebra,
who just needs to be renewed.
And Richie, who actually
has never done it because
- Richie.
- SYDNEY: Yes.
Also, I filed with the BACP
for our City of Chicago Consultant.
- Right.
- SYDNEY: We need them to approve
all of our new business paperwork,
and then they'll send a rep
and that rep will sign off
on another rep
who will come and look at stuff
and then sign off
on a, on a different rep.
- How many reps is that?
- Many.
A lot. A lot of reps. Yeah.
But it's-it's gonna be okay, you know.
All we have to do is just stay calm
and make sure
- CARMY: Fuck.
- Sydney.
- Fuck.
- MARCUS: What was that?
Uh, fell through a wall.
- Good morning.
- Damn, you got strong.
What kind of
insurance coverage do we have
for people falling
through the fuckin' wall?
The really good kind
where you pray they don't.
Yo! Syd, you just fu
Why'd you tear Fenway?
Why did I tear Fenway?
That's been there for five years.
SYDNEY: You think I
intentionally fell through a wall?
"A," fuck the Red Sox,
and "B," what has it
been hiding for five years?
"A," that's
Three, four, five.
"A," that's Mikey's favorite squad,
so please show some respect, okay?
And "B," that's the result
of some failed Jewish Lightning.
- Yo.
- What?
What? That's what it's called.
No, we're not doing that.
I'd like to add it to the list, please.
Look, I haven't said
G or R in over a week.
No, cousin, explain.
In an effort of personal growth,
I promise not to say gay or retarded
- No, cousin, the hole. Explain.
- You just-just said it.
Jewish Lightning
is when you burn down a place.
Yeah, the explanation
makes it seem worse.
RICHIE: Look, there was a time when
Mikey was maybe on some shit
and he thought
that if this place were
to accidentally burn down,
that maybe there'd be
some insurance money.
I got it, thank you.
SYDNEY: I just wanna say that I think
the explanation of Jewish Lightning
does cement it as something
that we shouldn't say.
You're correct.
Alright, this is salvageable.
Um, Natalie, do you know
where the tape is?
The tape is packed. It's up front.
- Okay?
- TINA: Jeff.
- You fell through the wall?
- RICHIE: Corner.
- SYDNEY: Yes. Yes.
- You okay?
Okay. What was I saying?
Gotta stay calm
and take it step by step.
No, I know. We will.
Not the first hole in a wall
I've fallen through.
- No, no, that's what you were saying.
- It is.
SYDNEY: Huh? Really?
(SNAPS FINGERS) Paint in the crawlspace.
That was the great idea?
Yo, cousin, you do me a favor
and get the paint from the crawlspace?
RICHIE: I'm on the operating
table right now, cousin.
Purpose, Chef.
RICHIE: Good point, Chef.
Thank you.
So there's a hole in the wall.
SUGAR: Yeah, I heard.
Do me a favor.
Just keep thinking about it.
I'll definitely
keep thinking about that hole.
CARMY: No. No, the project management.
Um, timing on my side is not great.
Never is.
There's not enough money.
Never is.
Where do you get more?
Is that in my head?
- Okay.
So, um, this is coming
from a place of wanting
to start fresh and clean.
I love this place. I love this city.
I wanna start our first business here.
I want it to be a real business,
an honest business
with-with-with honest partners.
We wanna do high-level dining
and hospitality and-and-and beverages.
And we can and we will because we know
that any good restaurant starts
with dedication to service
and taking care of the customer.
We drafted a quick term sheet
that specifically lays out
not only our business prospectus,
but an execution guide
as well as a return portfolio.
Hey, Richard, will you turn
that fucking thing off, please?
- RICHIE: I'm trying.
What the fuck we doin' here?
What's going on? What are you
What are you doing?
Mikey was telling you the truth.
About the-the petting zoo?
What? No, no, no, no.
- Mini golf?
- CARMY: No.
- About franchising.
He wanted to franchise this place.
He wanted to open a restaurant with me.
How the fuck do you know?
'Cause we found your money.
Motherfucker didn't put it
in a bank, did he?
No, he-he definitely
didn't put it in a bank.
CICERO: Oh, God. Thank Christ.
What is KBL?
Kalinowski, me,
Berzatto, you, Layne, Lee.
Lee? Who's Lee?
Uncle Lee Layne.
Oof. That's not our uncle.
Yeah, well, Richie's not your cousin.
- RICHIE: Heard and resented.
Hey, Richie, could you please turn that
goddamn motherfuckin' thing off?
It's making me insane!
How's it not makin' you insane?
- I don't mind it.
- CICERO: Lucky you.
I'm on it, Uncle J.
How the fuck did I know
that the crawlspace
had a goddamn alarm on it?
Mikey's fuckin' Kevin McCalliper
- ALL: McCallister.
- McCallister.
Yes. Hello.
Uh, the password is
"gofastboatsmojito," all one word.
Yeah. Go fast boats and
then mojito. All one word.
Okay, so just to be clear,
'cause, you know,
I can't fuckin' hear correctly.
Not only are you not giving me back
the original $300,000 you owe me,
but you are also asking me
for an additional $500,000?
- Yes, that sounds correct.
- CICERO: Okay.
And so how many times
you've done this, Carm?
None times.
And what's your track record, Syd?
- Not great.
- Cool. I'm in.
Okay, you are first out
with a bonkers interest rate
because, well, we have no choice.
And you'd also be
entitled to a partnership.
Partnership of what, my love?
Hey, you throw a rock,
you hit five great restaurants.
We're going to be better.
Um, this is going to be
a destination spot.
This is going to be
an excellent restaurant.
And I know that because
we're going to get a star.
- Syd.
- Carm.
- Fuck stars.
- Okay, well, you can say that
because you already got one.
No, no, no, I never got one.
I retained it.
That's basically a cousin
of getting one.
Okay, kids.
CARMY: It's not getting
one, it's retaining one.
Somebody else got it, I retained it.
- SUGAR: Guys.
- You kinda got one, though.
- What do you mean?
- SUGAR: They're being funny.
SYDNEY: Let's get a star.
- Oh, thank fucking God.
- Thank fuck.
- RICHIE: Yeah, bitch.
Okay, so you get a star. Now what?
- We're dialed.
- My trapped.
My friends, can I tell you a story
about complete and utter failure?
Look, we don't pay you back
by the end of 18 months,
and it is yours.
- What's mine?
- CARMY: All of it.
The building and the lot.
- Well, Carm.
- Yeah, Carm.
What do you think?
I don't know what the fuck I'm thinkin'.
- Tell me more.
- You can get five million for this lot.
Two maybe.
- Your math is
- Fucked.
- Yeah. Not good.
- Okay.
Look, we don't pay you the money
by the end of 18 months,
worst-case scenario,
you helped out your nephew, he blew it.
You're out 800 grand,
and you can make two million.
And then we are done forever.
Jimmy, I wasn't gonna
tell you about the money,
but we need more, okay?
And we need a partner,
and that is the truth.
What do you say?
How long'd it take you to open?
That is a great question.
CICERO: Well, you know
great partners ask great questions.
Alright, Fak, Gary
on construction and demo.
- Syd, we're on menu?
- SYDNEY: Yes, Chef.
SUGAR: With Jimmy's
injection, it's gonna take
at least eight months
to get into profit,
which, to put it generously, is tight,
given it's gonna take
six months to open.
- Six months?
- Six months?
Yeah, at least. And that's being
- What, confident?
- Cocky.
Crazy. You guys. Crazy.
Dude, um, we have 18 months
to pay back that loan.
Uh, is there anything we can do?
I mean
Dude, you are the one
that said 18 months.
- That's a CP.
- CARMY: What's a CP?
- Carmy Problem.
- A Carmy Problem.
- Great.
- Six months is gonna kill us.
Yeah. No, we're gonna have
to be rockin' from the jump.
Just fuckin' packed right out.
And you want a, uh, star.
I think it'd be nice. Yeah.
- Godspeed.
- Thank you.
- CARMY: Start looking into crew?
- Yeah.
Natalie, do you work here?
I'm still thinking.
I have one person still thinking, Chef.
- CARMY: Tremendous.
- Thank you.
Alright, okay, we're gonna have to
find people that want to learn,
which is gonna be impossible.
But, you know, it's even more difficult
to teach people how to give a shit, so.
TINA: Good night. Jeffs.
- Bye, T.
- Good night.
TINA: Okay. Oh, and Sydney,
I got a bunch of those stains out.
That Bar Keepers works.
Science, baby.
Yeah, okay, I'll see you all
bright and early tomorrow.
CARMY: Yep. Night, Chef.
- SUGAR: Bye.
- Night.
Tina? Tina, hey.
- Sorry, uh
- What's up?
I wanted to
I wanted to ask you something,
and-and you can totally say no.
- It might be completely insane.
- I could stay later.
It's just there wasn't
that much left to do.
No, no, go home, obviously.
Go home. It's-it's more
I wanted to ask you
Uh, yeah. If you
obviously feel free to say no,
this is probably insane.
And it would just require
a lot of training.
And, I mean, like a lot of training,
like, more than you've
probably ever done before.
And you also know this place.
I mean, it's a fucking hell hole.
And why would you wanna be here?
But, um, yeah,
it was just about earlier.
If you, you know, you were talking about
the new sous and I guess
Oh, yeah, I can ask around.
I just don't know anybody off the top
No, no, no. T Tina, I'm asking you
if you would, um, be interested
in learning how to be my sous.
Yeah, if you I guess
I don't know, if you wanna
be my Jeff or whatever.
Oh, fuck. Oh, Christ.
- You're very strong.
- Yes. Yes. Yes.
SYDNEY: You're very, very strong.
- I am.
- That's cool.
- Great. Okay.
- TINA: Okay.
Um, yeah, go home, though.
- TINA: Okay.
- Yeah.
But I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- Tomorrow?
- SYDNEY: Yeah.
- Yes, Jeff.
- SYDNEY: Okay. Night.
She all good?
Well, I'm almost outta here.
I appreciate you, dude.
DVR it. She'll watch it later.
Don't think I've ever heard it
be quiet in here.
Definitely not.
Good evening, Chef.
Good night, Chef.
In the darkest hour ♪
Of the longest night ♪
If it was in my power ♪
I'd step into the light ♪
Candles on the altar ♪
Penny in your shoe ♪
- Night, guys.
- SYDNEY: Night.
- Thanks for today, Bear.
- Yeah, you're welcome.
- Ah, we'll see you tomorrow?
- SUGAR: Uh, we'll see.
Okay. Well, I'm choosing to believe.
Really gonna leave early?
I mean, there's only so much
we can do without permits.
It feels weird, though, right?
Very. Yes.
- It's too chill?
Well, I don't know.
We can go home early.
- Um
- What are you, uh
Oh, uh, I don't know.
Um, what are you gonna
No idea.
Well, I'll see you tomorrow.
- Yep.
- Cool.
- Okay, night.
- Night.
Transcendental blues ♪
Six months is too long.
We need to open this shit ASAP.
Is this a terrible idea?
Cool. Good. Okay. Yeah.
Just making sure.
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