The Boys (2019) s03e01 Episode Script


This is a fucking mess, son,
but don't you worry.
Daddy's home.
- What's up, shitbirds?
- [both scream]
You have five minutes
to make your opening st
- [all shout]
- You guys fucking ready?
[Homelander] So Noir's a vegetable.
And you didn't do this.
Look, there was no terrorist.
It was Vought. It's a fucking coup.
Victoria Neuman's making a team
that can keep tabs on the Supes.
If you're interested.
I still want to fight Vought.
I just I want to do it the right way.
Not covered in quite as many guts.
- Maeve!
- I'm sorry.
You're gonna leave me and Elena alone.
You're gonna stop hunting Starlight,
or I release this.
Becca's alive.
She had a little boy, Ryan,
spitting image of Homelander.
I do not want my son to have to
go through what I went through.
Ryan, no!
Promise me that you will save him
no matter what
and you will get him back to me.
People love what I have to say.
They believe in it.
They just don't like the word "Nazi."
That's all.
- Where is my son?
- [gasping]
[jet engines whooshing]
[helicopter whirring]
[electricity crackling]
[wind whistling]
I knew you'd be here.
How could you do this?
I loved you.
You'll always be in my heart.
But the Fourth Reich is in my soul.
Join me, and we can reign together
for a thousand years.
You and I are the same.
Perfect genetic specimens.
Think of how beautiful
our children could be.
They would be the best of both of us.
Flawless Aryan Kindersoldaten.
They'd be monsters.
Like you.
Your choice, Liebchen.
But not even you could stop me alone.
[Starlight] He's not alone.
Can't let you guys have all the fun.
Guess this means we're breaking up.
Nazi bitch.
Die, Untermensch.
[grunting on speaker]
[Starlight] Grab the flash drive!
[Maeve] She's too strong!
How can we beat her?
[Homelander] As a team.
- [movie audio fades]
- [high-pitched ringing]
- [crowd clamoring]
- [cameras clicking]
[overlapping shouting]
[photographer] Homelander!
Over here. This way.
[photographer 2] Maeve, right here.
Look to your right.
[photographer 3] Maeve!
To your left! Left!
[photographer 4] Maeve, over here!
[reporter] Here with Adam Bourke,
- the director of Dawn of The Seven.
- Yes. That's right.
It seems like all those
reshoots paid off, my friend.
Right, well, after the, you know,
"Stormfront's a Nazi" thing,
we had real talks about
shelving the movie
or just dumping it on Vought Plus.
But, uh, the fans spoke with those
"Release the Bourke Cut" hashtags.
You guys, I love you!
- [sighs] Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- How do I look?
- You look perfect.
- [Hughie sighs]
- [Starlight] Okay.
[photographer] Oh! Starlight, Starlight!
- Starlight!
- Starlight, to the right, to the right!
- [cheering]
- Starlight, over here!
Starlight, this way!
Starlight, look this way!
Singles, please. Singles, please.
- Starlight!
- One second.
- Move over, other guy!
- Okay.
No, no, no. Over here. Singles, please.
Over here, to the left! To the left!
Just a couple more shots!
[photographers continue clamoring]
It's quite the star you've got there.
And thanks to Congresswoman Neuman
for joining us tonight.
I hope it demonstrates
Vought welcomes the oversight
from the Bureau of Superhuman Affairs.
We've been able to root out
a few bad apples together.
- Thank you.
- [reporter] Thank you.
If I could just steal him away.
Do me a favor and kill me.
- Only if it's murder-suicide.
- Okay.
- [Hughie chuckles]
- Nadia! Nadia!
Hey! Nadia!
- Another picture, please.
- Hey, Nadia!
A-Train, it's been over a year
since you've raced.
When are we gonna see you
on the track again?
Real soon.
You know, but we had reshoots,
I've been training.
But that race is coming,
full speed ahead
for the A-Train. [chuckles]
But it's been over a year,
and the people are wondering
Only questions about the movie.
- Thank you so much.
- Okay, thank you.
- Um, we have Black Noir here for you.
- Black Noir.
Hughie, my man.
I love the big dick energy, bro.
- Who you wearing?
- [photographer] A-Train, right here!
I have no idea.
Good. I didn't give a fuck.
Pic! [laughs]
Who'd have thought,
after everything we've been through,
- that we'd be here together?
- [photographer] Okay, one more time.
Right in the camera.
Who'd have thought?
[reporter] How could you not know
all along that Stormfront was a Nazi?
Well, I am just a man
who fell for the wrong woman.
- Uh, but, uh
- Fell for the wrong woman.
But out of crisis comes change.
- Out of crisis comes change.
- So I spent the last year
really slowing down
and reconnecting with myself.
And I am very excited
for everyone to meet the real me.
- [moaning]
- You shitty fucking director!
Tony Gilroy had to reshoot all your shit!
I know I'm a fraud, babe! I'm a fraud!
- Oh, fuck!
- Pull my hair!
- Fuck yeah!
- Yeah, pull my hair!
- Yeah, I'm pulling it, baby!
- No, pull it out!
Yeah, yeah!
[both scream]
Mr. Campbell.
- Thanks for coming.
- Yeah.
Jesus Christ!
Not quite.
You look sharp.
French blue.
That suits you.
What are you doing here?
I found that little asshole
we've been on all month.
He's having a knees-up
at a penthouse tonight.
Okay. Who's your source?
My source
is none of your fucking business.
Look, me and the Boys, we're all set up.
We just need you to, uh
give us a green light.
Um, I'll talk to Neuman.
Or you could take your tongue
out of her ass,
slap on your big-boy pants
and make a fucking decision.
[inhales deeply]
[exhales] You got something
you want to say to me?
I think I just fucking said it, son.
Just photos.
No violence or maiming
or-or-or-or torture
or curb stomping
or setting anyone on fire.
Oh, uh
I'll get you them expense reports
you wanted.
- [horns honking]
- [siren wailing]
- [lively chatter]
- [dance music playing]
Yeah, give it to me, to me ♪
Don't stop, hey ♪
Don't stop ♪
[partygoer] God, what is he doing?
- Give it to her, babe.
- Oh, my God.
[partygoers chanting] Go! Go! Go! Go!
Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Go
[partygoer] Am I really seeing
what I'm seeing?
All she needs now is a vagina.
The little asshole.
- [chattering continues]
- [piano playing]
Stars shining bright above you ♪
Night breezes seem to whisper ♪
"I love you" ♪
Birds singing in the sycamore tree ♪
Dream a little dream of ♪
[car horn honks]
Hey. I'm Tyler.
[partygoers cheering]
- What the fuck?
- Yeah! Did you see that?
Excuse me.
- [exhales]
- [snorting]
I want you inside me.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on.
Oh, yes.
- [chattering continues]
- [electronic music playing]
- Ready?
- Oh, yes.
[Termite] I'm gonna rock
your fucking dick, babe.
- [Peter] Yes.
- [grunts]
[Peter moaning]
[Peter] Ah, that's it.
Okay, okay.
[inhales sharply]
[moans] Oh, don't don't stop.
[moans] Don't stop.
Get to the prostate.
Oh, don't stop.
[Peter] Oh, don't stop.
[trembling breaths]
- Is okay.
- Get the fuck out!
I see nothing. I go, okay?
You can't leave.
No, no, no, no, no.
No! No, putain!
Get out! Get out! Get out!
He's trying to get in my ass! Get him out!
[whimpering, muttering]
[exclaims] Get him out!
Fucking bitch!
Oh, no!
No, go!
[muffled grunting]
[rapid grunting]
Go on, son. Have a bump.
[Butcher] Fucking lightweight.
No, no, no.
Call the bureau.
You're gonna let him live?
Governor's orders.
And put that little cunt on his side.
Jiminy Cricket's OD'ing.
[inhales deeply]
- [grunts]
- [car horns honking in distance]
[sighs, chuckles]
- Morning, morning.
- Mmm.
Good morning.
- [exhales]
- [moans lightly]
What do you say I brush my teeth
- and we do things to each other?
- [chuckles]
I say go get the Aquafresh.
- Okay.
- [laughs]
["Uptown Girl" playing]
- [moans]
- [chuckles]
Uptown girl ♪
She's been living in her uptown world ♪
[trainer on video] Come on,
I know you have it in you!
Keep pushing! Go!
I bet her mama never told her why ♪
I'm gonna try for an uptown girl ♪
- Uptown girl ♪
- She's been living in her white ♪
Hey, Dad, you got to move
the phone away from your face.
- Just
- How's th Oh, yeah, okay.
- There you are. Yeah.
- There we are. Um, so
Funny story. Um, you know
my dentist, Dr. Horowitz?
- Mm-hmm.
- I was getting a crown, and he said,
he was a huge Starlight fan.
- Oh, is he?
- Like, out of the blue, and I'm like,
"Well, you know, she's dating my son."
- [Mr. Campbell laughs]
- [chuckles]
He was, "What?" So, um
I gave him your number.
Dad, why would, why would
you give him my number, Dad?
- Why would I give [stammers]
- Dad?
Dad, you got to move,
you got to move the phone away
- from your fucking face.
- Sorry, sorry.
- You know, I was anyway.
- Listen, I, uh,
I got to get to work,
so we'll see you for dinner on Sunday?
- Yeah.
- I'll talk to you soon.
- Bye-bye.
- I love you
- [Hughie sighs]
- He's sweet.
Yeah. So, uh, you gonna
stay over again tonight?
Don't know. It depends.
Um, you gonna bring Aquafresh?
I would brush with Monistat
if it meant I could have sex with you.
That's very romantic.
- All right, I'll see you later.
- Have a good day.
Uptown girl ♪
You know I can't afford
To buy her pearls ♪
But maybe someday
When my ship comes in ♪
She'll understand
What kind of guy I've been ♪
- Hey, good morning.
- Hello.
- Campbell.
- Morning.
- Morning.
- So a Tri-Delt from Wesleyan
caught a Supe masturbating
outside her window.
Okay, how's she know it's a Supe?
Window was on a 737.
That's a Supe.
Uh, okay, I'll have an ID for you
by tomorrow. Thanks, Ivy.
That's Hugh Campbell, right?
He helped bring down Stormfront?
And he's dating Starlight.
Uptown girl, she's been living ♪
As long as anyone with hot blood can ♪
[TV announcer] From serving
his country as a soldier
to serving the American people
as Secretary of Defense,
a Democrat who reaches across the aisle
- Give me a bite.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
unite and heal America
You want the Valtrex before or after?
You love that bagel so much
you're gonna fake herpes?
I could have herpes.
You don't think I could have herpes?
How'd surveillance go
with Termite last night?
You know, I haven't checked in
with Butcher yet, but
I'm sure it went fine.
Don't No, don't give me that face.
I'll bet you a crisp $100 bill
something got fucked up.
- You don't know that.
- Okay, take the bet.
I'm-I'm not gonna take the bet, but
- Uh, wow, really?
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, still, Butcher delivers every time.
And I have to apologize
for him every time.
Look, Butcher's the guy you want
in a shooting war. No question.
But we're in peacetime.
Oh, my God. So worth the herpes.
It's great.
Can I help you?
I'm just waiting to see Nadia.
That's Congresswoman Victoria Neuman.
You have the wrong person.
We're best friends.
I will give her the message.
This way, pal.
She'll remember.
There you go.
Go ahead.
Straight ahead.
[birds calling]
[Butcher chuckles]
All right, lad, how are you?
You all right?
- Yeah, I'm good.
- Eh?
Look at you. Here you go.
You'll never guess what that is.
You done your homework?
I hate math.
Aunt Grace gets pissed when I'm wrong.
Yeah, you and me both.
Mom used to help.
She was really good at math.
She was a clever one.
I had another nightmare.
Same one? Your dad?
This time, he
burns everything down and then kills me.
One day, you'll be tough enough.
And then he can't hurt you.
But till then,
you're safe here with the colonel.
[Ryan] Connect Four.
Oh, you you cheeky little blighter.
You could stay if you want.
Well, that's a generous offer, Grace,
but I ain't banged a blue hair
since I was a lad.
You know, calling you an asshole
is an insult to assholes.
My point is, Marvin got out.
Maybe there's hope for you, too.
I shouldn't get too close to him.
I would just fuck it up.
I hear you've been
on the straight and narrow all year.
No drinking, no killing Supes.
You even follow Hugh Campbell's orders
without strangling him.
Now you're just being cruel.
I know you're not doing all that
for yourself.
So then who?
That alone makes you a better man
than your father ever was.
Maybe you're not such an asshole.
Get the kid a fucking burger
now and then, would you?
[car door opens]
- [bell ringing]
- [sighs]
[Deep] There he is!
[laughing] Bro!
Bro, come here.
Oh! [clears throat] Hey.
It's great to see you.
Did you just have the slot before me?
Yeah, I'm just stumping
for my book Deeper.
Went awesome.
I sent you a copy. Did you not get it?
Don't worry, I got, like,
hundreds of them. I'll send you more.
It's about how me and my wife Cassandra
escaped that fucking cult.
You remember my wife Cassandra, right?
Oh, did you see that profile
that Malcolm Gladwell
did on me in The New Yorker?
He called me "the next Leah Remini."
No big deal.
I mean, my numbers are going up, Coach.
Put me back in the game.
How did you get the slot before me?
[Ashley] It was a fucked-up mistake.
- That talent booker is so fucking fired.
- I'm asking him.
I'm asking you.
I don't I, uh
I don't know. I don't know.
But it's fucking ridiculous.
I-I should never go before you.
Obviously. I'm a nobody compared to you.
You want to know a secret?
I didn't even write the fucking book.
Shia LaBeouf's ghostwriter did.
[Deep laughs]
Uh, it's crazy. [clears throat]
It's stupid. Sorry.
That's very sweet of you to say, Deep.
Good to see you.
You, too, sir.
- Hey.
- Hey.
What was that?
I actually think that went pretty well.
Let's get to the elephant in the room.
The mainstream media won't leave it alone.
- Mmm.
- How could you not know
that Stormfront was a Nazi?
[sighs] Well, okay.
So let me say it again, Cam.
Um, I may be a superhero,
but I'm also just a man
who fell in love with the wrong woman.
Well, we all know what that's like.
[laughs] Right, yeah.
Look, I-I'm not perfect, Cameron.
Far from it. Uh
I know I'm bulletproof on the outside.
But in here, this?
It isn't.
I'm just as human as all the rest of you.
More with Homelander after this.
[stage manager] And we're clear!
[bell rings]
[Cameron] That sounded really good.
- [laughter]
- [children clamoring]
Who's the birthday girl? Hey!
- Want to see what I got you?
- Yeah.
Ooh, you're gonna love this.
Yeah, boy!
- See how it fits.
- All right, all right, all right.
- That looks great.
- Birthday photos.
- Oh, Jackie, can you take this?
- Oh. Sure.
Thank you.
[camera clicking]
Oh, Todd, Todd! Over here.
Photos, photos.
- Okay, with Jackie? Okay.
- You know what?
It's okay. All right.
[Todd] Let's all say, um,
"Happy birthday, Janine!"
[all] Happy birthday, Janine!
[Monique] Oh, silly face, silly face.
[Todd] Now superhero! Give us a superhero.
[children laughing]
You don't have to do that.
- Oh, I don't mind.
- Marvin?
You taking your Lexapro?
I'm fine, Monique.
This is just me helping out
at my daughter's birthday party.
Great party, by the way.
Yeah, she's
[laughs] She's having fun.
I'm sorry about all the superhero stuff.
- She insisted, and
- It's all good.
It's behind me now. I'm over it.
You've seen me
in the last 12 months, right?
I'm straight. It's ancient history.
- I know.
- Hey.
You got a couple of hours on Friday night?
I was thinking maybe we could
meet over at Cafe Delfini's,
have some tilapia, go over
some co-parenting things.
Mmm, co-parenting things?
- Yeah.
- Really?
Where we had our first date?
Strictly business.
Scheduling things,
like soccer practice, dance recital
You got to move on, Marvin.
The way you moved on with Todd or
[sighs] Sorry.
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday dear Janine ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
- [cheering]
- Happy birthday, baby!
V24, huh?
[Edgar] Marketing
is still testing the name.
But it's the future, Bob.
One dose of this temporary V
gives a soldier 24 hours of powers.
Give or take.
And then they return right back to normal.
How stable is it?
Still ironing out the kinks.
And if it's temporary,
that means the DOD
has to keep buying doses.
At how much a hit?
Two million, roughly.
So over the course
of a month-long operation,
that's 60 million per soldier.
600 million per squad.
Campaign going well, is it?
I appreciate your contribution
to my super PAC.
People do love
a cowboy in the White House.
I hear they're even
calling you Dakota Bob.
So how would it look
if you pass up the opportunity
to give our brave soldiers superpowers?
Supes in the Army
are an unmitigated shit show.
What Black Noir did
to that Hard Rock Cafe in Lagos?
Should be brought up on war crimes.
- [button clicks]
- [whirring]
- You're right.
- I'm sorry?
You are absolutely right.
The problem, of course,
was making the super into heroes.
I don't follow.
Making them figures to be worshipped.
The fame, the movies,
the depraved sex it ruined them.
Cone of silence?
In five years, I hope to be out
of the superhero business entirely.
This should be a serious company.
A defense and pharmaceutical company.
Not a day care dealing with
spoiled children and dead prostitutes.
But the point is,
you won't have to worry about any of that.
Because your soldiers
will only be super temporarily.
The product finally perfected.
when you say Compound V
do you know what the public hears?
And that's your fault.
You used a Nazi to sell it.
Compound V is radio-fucking-active.
It's not gonna fly in Congress.
I still have a few strings
that I can pull in Congress.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Come on, really?
I got good news and bad news.
What do you want to hear first?
The, uh, good news.
There's no good news.
Bad news is, Termite's off the table.
- What?
- Vought just closed
a big endorsement for him with Terminex.
We've been chasing Termite for months!
I know, but after Butcher force-fed him
a metric Belushi of coke,
I didn't have much leverage, did I?
It was just a little coke
'cause he was small.
Anyway, he's going to the Global
Wellness Retreat in Malibu,
and in return we're getting
Cold Snap, Stacker and Airburst.
Fucking B-listers! Really?
Three B-listers, real assholes.
Cold Snap for domestic battery.
It's not a bad trade.
How much is Supe collateral
down this year?
- Sixty percent.
- Sixty percent.
That's 60% more people at home
with their kids, and we did that.
Hughie, you and I built this place.
And we did it the right way
without being covered in blood and guts.
You're irritating, but
- but yes.
- Okay.
So, please, just trust me.
[Butcher] You must be having
a fucking laugh.
That little cunt crawled up
a guy's cock and blew him to bits.
He almost killed Frenchie,
and you're just gonna let him go
'cause Stan Edgar asked nice?
Supe collateral damage is down 60%.
Oh, come off it.
That's that twat Neuman talking.
She has locked up more Supes this year
than every other year combined.
Then you're a fucking twat.
Hughie, you're working with Vought!
- I'm
- [loud, discordant piano music playing]
Fuck me. I should've done Termite
when I had the chance.
Look, look, look, things are good.
We're actually winning.
- Winning, are we?
- Yeah.
Locking up a couple of nobodies
ain't winning.
They got all the money and all the power,
and they want us dead.
We're outmanned and outgunned,
and we got to put them cunts in a box
before they do it to us.
If you would just compromise
a little bit
"Compromise"? Fuck you.
Your whole life's a compromise.
Hey, at least I have a fucking life!
I didn't mean that.
[plays discordantly]
Look. Look.
Can we just stop dancing around this?
I'm sorry. I'm sorry that I left.
- You think I give a shite?
- Yeah, I think you do.
I think you're pissed
that MM and I both left.
MM was a bit of a loss. You not so much.
it's been a year.
You can stop all this.
It's okay to stop. To move on.
[discordant piano playing continues]
She would've wanted you to.
- Oi, Stevie fucking Wonder!
- [piano stops playing]
Will you knock it off?
You're doing me fucking head in!
Jesus fucking Christ.
Everyone's losing their fucking minds.
Or maybe they're just trying to be happy.
I thought it sounded great.
[door opens]
[discordant piano music resumes]
[door closes]
[sirens wailing in distance]
[kettle whistling]
[button clicks]
[person] Homelander and Queen Maeve.
- Oh, my God, they're leaving us!
- [Maeve] Take these two!
- [Homelander] Whoa, no.
- [Maeve] Just these two, please!
[Homelander] No. What?
So they can tell the world
that we left the rest of them
to fucking die? No. You stay back!
All of you, stay back!
You stay the fuck back,
or I'll laser you, goddamn it!
I'll laser every fucking one of you!
- [kettle whistling loudly]
- [passengers clamoring]
Excuse me, Starlight.
I need the room.
I got a meeting with Stan.
Actually, I invited you both.
Have a seat.
- Great.
- Oh, uh
[grunts, sighs]
I remember when you first arrived,
A farm girl from Kansas.
Bright-eyed like Dorothy in Oz.
Iowa. And not a farm.
Oh, well, look how far you've come.
Polling at 96, a new Vought record.
I don't have to tell you
that our brand has been a bit tarnished
since that nasty business last year.
But you have restored a wholesome,
trustworthy image to the company
when we needed it the most.
Which is why the board
wants to make you
cocaptain of The Seven.
But-but [chuckles]
Homelander is captain.
I mean, you're-you're captain.
This will be beneficial to you both.
Your numbers are down,
what, uh, double digits?
The public still associates you
with Stormfront.
This would be a real bump.
A rising tide lifts all boats.
That's very thoughtful of you, Stan.
- When does the board vote?
- They already did this morning.
All that's left
is for Starlight to say yes.
No. I mean, I mean, I'm flattered,
thank you, but no, thank you.
If anybody, it should be Maeve.
Maeve doesn't have a 96.
Nobody does. Except you, apparently.
Could you give us a moment?
Look, I'd really like
to keep discussing this.
Absolutely. Set a time with Samantha,
and we'll get you in.
Mmm, great.
- No problem.
- [Edgar] Excellent.
My schedule is pretty full,
but I'll try and find you a window.
Okay, sir, there is no way.
I mean, you saw him. He's
He can get as pissy as he wants.
As long as I'm CEO of Vought,
he's under control, and we both know why.
Y-You know that he can,
he can probably hear you.
Good. I hope he does.
Real power
isn't this.
It's the ability to bend the world
to your will.
You would decide what The Seven do.
What causes they support.
Full authority
to fill the team's empty slots.
I'm offering you
real power.
You should think about it.
[door opens]
It's been almost a year since
Church Chairman Alastair Adana
has been seen in public.
Yeah, well, they say he's on,
uh, sabbatical, but who knows?
What I do know is that there are
literally thousands of tortured souls
who are trapped in that church right now
who want to escape
just like me and my wife did.
- That's very brave.
- Thank you.
Your book Deeper has been a game changer.
Obviously, you've had your past troubles,
but I think people are surprised
at how sensitive
and insightful you really are.
After your last TED talk,
Vanity Fair called you,
- "the Thinking Person's Superhero."
- They did.
[announcer] With only
three contestants left,
who will join The Seven?
Will it be Supersonic?
He first exploded onto the scene
as Drummer Boy.
Kick off those UGGs
And slide up next to me, all right ♪
[announcer] Hero, Christian
and triple-threat member
of the multiplatinum group Super-Sweet
Got Netflix in my mailbox ♪
When he broke hearts everywhere
by dating a certain rising star
on the Capes for Christ circuit.
But that was long ago.
Today Drummer Boy
has become a man, going solo,
changing his name to Supersonic
and setting his sights on American Hero.
And maybe on an old flame.
Or is it Starlight
who's keeping the fires burning?
Livewire please hang up your cape and go.
[announcer] Two contestants
will win coveted slots in The Seven.
So who will go home,
and who will be the next American Hero?
- [chattering]
- Hi.
[chattering continues]
- [laughter]
- [lively chatter]
[laughs] Oh, my God. Come on.
- Hi. Hey. Hi.
- Hi!
Hughie, what's up, my man?
How's it going, guys?
What are you guys doing?
We're running lines, actually.
For a reality show?
Right? The reality behind the reality.
- Mm-hmm.
- [Hughie] Yeah, um Oh, man,
I was in the, uh, control room,
and they had this, like,
- bio thing on you.
- Oh, God, I'm sorry.
Yeah, that boy band shit
is so embarrassing.
You know what,
I really like "Rock My Kiss."
- Really?
- I do.
Did you? I I actually
Wait, I thought it made you puke.
[both laughing]
- Shut up. Shut up!
- It's true.
What are you guys, what are you,
what are you talking about?
Okay, be careful.
I can still kick you off the show.
He has a right to know.
Come on, we were, what, 19?
- Eighteen.
- Okay, so 18,
the band was performing
at the opening of Voughtland St. Louis.
But before the show,
Annie and I snuck into a cantina.
And they had those
I mean, those yards of margarita
I must have drank a quarter mile.
So, middle of the show,
we bring out Starlight to do a number.
And Little Orphan Alky
steps onto the stage,
and she just pukes
in front of a festival crowd.
[Starlight groans]
I mean, the tweens, they lost their shit.
Wow, that's I-I had no idea
you drank back then.
Oh, yeah, Miss Goody Two-Shoes,
she had a fun side, big time.
[Hughie] And-and really great
that you guys are still
so close, just really, really great.
You have nothing to worry about.
No. No, no, no, totally. He's gross.
And you've known him your whole life.
And he, you know, took your virginity,
so why would I worry?
Okay, it was a mutual
taking of virginities.
And you know what,
it happened so long ago,
and only a couple of times.
- Wait, really?
- Yeah, you know, we were really religious,
and we weren't married,
so it felt weird having sex.
I mean, sex-sex.
We did a ton of butt stuff.
I'm fucking with you.
- [laughs] Okay.
- [laughs]
- Come on.
- Yeah, never do that again.
Wow, uh
Cocaptain, huh? Wow, that's, uh
Is it crazy?
I mean, Vought's the worst thing
that's ever happened to us,
and now you want
to be their Ronald McDonald?
So, yeah, a little crazy.
Yeah, but first female cocaptain
of any super team.
Ever. I mean
think about what that would mean
to millions of girls.
I'm sorry, I-I'm just surprised, I guess.
I mean, is this your mom talking or you?
[sighs] I'm the one whose feet bled
at all of those pageants.
Okay? I've paid a lot.
And, finally, finally,
I could have some real power
that I could use,
and I could make trouble at Vought.
Do some real good.
Or Homelander can murder you.
Someone needs to stand up to this guy.
- And that has to be you?
- Not just me.
I mean, I could bring good people
into The Seven who could help me.
What, you mean like your boyfriend?
It's not a good look, Hughie.
No one even bats an eye
when a man climbs the ladder.
Okay, you're right,
you're right, you're right.
Look, I'm-I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
So I'll see you later tonight?
Don't bother with the Aquafresh.
[door opens]
- [door slams shut]
- [cameras clicking]
[cameras popping loudly]
[high-pitched ringing]
[muffled] Hey, Homelander.
- [Homelander] What are you drinking?
- [ringing stops]
- Shake Shack.
- Oh.
You want one? I'll go grab a PA for
Oh, no, no. Thank you, though.
I see you got the extra
whipped cream in there, huh?
[laughs] Yeah.
I guess you wanted to cram in
as much "fat fuck" as possible, huh?
- Did I do something wrong?
- You think I haven't seen you?
Shoving back two dozen cupcakes
in the breakroom?
Nine servings
on Miro's truffle risotto night?
- Hmm?
- Hey, man.
You know I need 30,000 calories a day.
Maybe when you actually ran, you did.
But now you're just eating your feelings.
Making us look ridiculous.
"The Fastest Man Alive."
What a fucking joke.
- [quietly] Fuck you, man.
- What did you say?
Nothing. Nothing.
- What did you say to me?
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. Shit!
I'm so sorry. I-I didn't mean it.
- Say it.
- I'm s
- Say it!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[reporter] But not everyone
rejects Stormfront.
A group called the Stormchasers
still celebrate her racist dogma.
After finding each other on 4chan,
the Stormchasers rallied online
in the days and weeks after
[Homelander] How are you?
[breathing shakily]
Wonderful now that you're here.
Is something wrong, my love?
You know, I'm just
skulking around
like a frightened schoolgirl.
Apologizing when I've done nothing wrong.
Today, uh, they made Starlight cocaptain.
[wheezes] No.
- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
My poor baby.
I don't know how much more of this
I can take.
- No one suffers like you suffer.
- Mm-mmm.
Let me help.
[Homelander] Honestly
I have to put up
with these fucking people.
[bed whirring]
They hold that video
over my head month after month.
[sighs] They took my son from me.
They want me Here you go.
[exhales] See, they want me weak,
They should be worshipping me.
Tremble at my feet.
[grunts] Put a knife
to their children's throat,
like Abraham to Isaac, if I say so.
Oh, they will.
When you lead an army
of Aryan Ubermensch to their victory.
What? No.
- Yes. Yes.
- No.
No, no! How many times
do I have to tell you?
We don't need a fucking master race.
I'm the master race. That's the point.
That's the whole point.
No, you have to.
It took a hundred years,
but we finally found you.
- No, no.
- It's your destiny.
Oh, my God. Whatever.
- [pants zip]
- [whimpers]
Just, uh
- rest.
- What?
No. Please.
[sirens wailing in distance]
[door opens, closes]
[Maeve] I heard Termite walked.
My lead was good. What happened?
Don't ask.
Well, we got to talk.
I think I have something.
Soldier Boy. So what?
Remember how he died?
Stopping a nuclear meltdown in Ohio.
'83, '84, I think,
got buried beneath a reactor.
Always thought it was bollocks.
Yeah, you thought right.
What's BCL RED?
If you believe the rumors,
it's the thing that killed Soldier Boy.
Some kind of gun or weapon or something.
Had to have been a fucking H-bomb.
He was nearly as strong as
If we can find this weapon
or whatever it is,
maybe we can use it
to blow Homelander's fucking brains out.
If it is real, not some fucking fable.
Payback. [scoffs]
- What a bunch of fucking wankers.
- I'll say.
When The Seven passed them
as the number one super team,
Crimson Countess sent me
a box of cat shit.
She was fucking Soldier Boy.
And, uh, Gunpowder was his sidekick.
If anyone knows
what happened to him, they do.
Your mate Noir was in Payback.
- Why don't you ask him?
- [scoffs]
Even if that walking tumor could talk,
it wouldn't be to me. Here.
[Butcher] What's this?
It's Temp V.
One shot makes you a Supe for 24 hours.
I mean, they think. It's still in R&D.
Oh, great, so powers, maybe.
Maybe my bollocks swell up
like footballs. Yeah?
Payback may be a bunch of fuck holes,
but they're strong.
And they're dangerous.
If you're going against them,
you're gonna need it.
And what makes you think that me,
of all people, would want
to turn into one of you?
This is our best chance
to kill Homelander.
Don't fuck it up.
[electricity crackling]
[soft whoosh]
If you want to watch me have a wank,
it'll cost you a tenner.
May I come in?
Where's Ryan?
He's at 673 Nosh My Bollocks Ave.
You want a pen and paper?
You know I could just pull you apart
limb by limb.
Make you tell me.
Nah, that'd be worthless.
Victim always goes into shock.
You got to start small.
Fingers, toenails, ears.
He's my son, William.
My family.
I'm gonna find him sooner or later.
[clicks tongue]
Look, uh
I don't mean to be rude,
but can we just skip to the part
where you laser my fucking brains out?
Oh, for Christ sakes.
Where's the sport in that?
No, look at you.
It'd be like putting down a wounded dog.
You're the one
with your tail between your legs
on all them fucking talk shows.
And then they go
and make Starlight cocaptain.
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
That's got to sting.
Touché, William.
What are you doing here?
Vought and the fucking bureau.
The wheeling and dealing.
And-and-and-and giving and taking.
Just to keep everything exactly the same.
And you and me?
Well, they treat us like old playthings
and put us up on the fucking shelf?
Treat us like we're obsolete.
Doesn't that make you angry?
It does.
What if
What if it doesn't have to be that way?
What if
you and I
Well, what if we share
a different destiny?
Something a little more
scorched earth,
shock and awe,
blood and bone.
And in the end,
only one of us left standing.
Isn't that what you want?
Too fucking right.
More than anything.
I look forward to it.
Stars shining bright above you ♪
Night breezes seem to whisper ♪
"I love you" ♪
Birds singing in the sycamore tree ♪
Dream a little dream of me ♪
Say nighty night ♪
And kiss me ♪
Just hold me tight and tell me ♪
You'll miss me ♪
While I'm alone ♪
And blue as can be ♪
Dream a little dream ♪
- See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
[Tony] Nadia! Hey, Nadia!
[Victoria] Hey, Tony.
How you been?
[Tony] Not as good as you.
I see you on TV all the time, Nadia.
[Victoria] I'm not Nadia anymore.
You can't come around
the office calling me that.
[Tony] We were best friends.
That was a long time ago, Tony.
We should tell everyone.
You have a platform now.
We should tell everyone about Red River.
[Victoria] It's not that easy, Tony.
I need people to know what happened to me.
Tony, I can't.
Yeah? [chuckles softly]
[both grunting]
[Tony gasping, gurgling]
Oh, Tony.
Why'd you have to come looking for me?
[trembling breaths]
[trembling breaths]
It's me.
I'm in trouble.
Fuck! Um
I need
I need a team.
Alleyway, East 12th and Broadway.
["Uptown Girl" playing]
Uptown girl ♪
She's been living in her uptown world ♪
I bet she never had a backstreet guy ♪
I bet her mama never told her why ♪
- I'm gonna try for an uptown girl ♪
- Uptown girl ♪
She's been living
In her white-bred world ♪
- White-bred world ♪
- As long as anyone ♪
- With hot blood can ♪
- Hot blood can ♪
And now she's looking
For a downtown man ♪
- Downtown man ♪
- That's what I am ♪
And when she knows what she wants ♪
- From her time ♪
- From her time ♪
- And when she wakes up ♪
- She wakes up ♪
And makes up her mind ♪
She'll see I'm not so tough ♪
Just because I'm in love ♪
- With an uptown girl ♪
- Uptown girl ♪
You know I've seen her
In her uptown world ♪
Uptown world ♪
She's getting tired
Of her high-class toys ♪
- High-class toys ♪
- And all the presents ♪
- From her uptown boys ♪
- Uptown boys ♪
She's got a choice ♪
Uptown girl ♪
You know I can't afford
To buy her pearls ♪
But maybe someday
When my ship comes in ♪
She'll understand
What kind of guy I've been ♪
- I've been ♪
- And then I'll win ♪
And when she's walking ♪
She's looking so fine ♪
And when she's talking ♪
She'll say that she's mine ♪
She'll say I'm not so tough ♪
Just because I'm in love ♪
With an uptown girl ♪
She's my uptown girl ♪
Don't you know I'm in love
With an uptown girl ♪
My uptown girl ♪
Don't you know I'm in love with ♪
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