The Brokenwood Mysteries (2014) s08e01 Episode Script

From the Cradle to the Grave

Thank you for doing this, boys.
She's through here.
There she is.
I've seen her
in the daylight hours,
but she looks
so peaceful at night.
Like she's sleeping.
Well, she's been "sleeping"
for over 2,000 years.
She's the real deal, then?
A rare and precious thing.
That's what mummies do, right?
They They sleep a lot 'cause,
you know,
they're not actually dead.
That's vampires, bro,
from Poland.
Mummies are from ancient Greece.
And Egypt.
Rhutenkharmese has been
the centerpiece
of the Broken wood Museum
for over 70 years.
You have the address?
We will take good care
of Rhuten.
No scratches, you understand?
- Totes.
- And no stops.
There can be absolutely no
chance of anything going wrong.
We're professionals.
We've done this sort of thing
hundreds of times.
No, we've never
moved a mummy before.
Not mummies, but stuff.
In general.
Daphne, please relax.
We're only too happy to help
because, I for one,
have always had
a deep interest in history.
Particularly the Roman pyramids.
- Egyptian.
- Yeah! Okay.
Personally, I prefer
the Roman ones,
but that's a matter of taste.
Take her away, boys.
It's heavier than I expected.
Maybe it's a daddy.
There's a rest area up ahead.
Pull over, Frodes.
No, Daphne said no stops.
Hey, I'm in charge,
and I say we need to stop
and check the cargo.
I don't like this.
Don't fret.
Just hold the fort.
Give us a hand, bro.
Hey, I thought we were
checking on the, um
Hey. This is where you don't
ask, you just do what I say.
Come on.
- Hoo!
- Aah!
Oh, good, you've found it.
It's a dummy, dummy.
Come on.
Give us a hand.
This wasn't part of the plan,
Work with me, Rhys.
I'm not sure about
this idea at all.
I've had enough trouble
with my own mother,
let alone some else's who died,
what, 2,000 years ago?
Rhys, chill out.
I've cut you in
on an even split, 70/30.
Nah, nah, I'm not sure.
80/20, then.
Now, make yourself useful.
Jesus Christ!
You bastard!
No way.
What the hell?
Whoa, get back!
I said back off!
Are you okay?
No way.
What have we got?
Well, the details on this one
are a little sketchy
and unusual.
The deceased is possibly
a Janis Oades,
mother of Rhys Oades,
who, along with his cousin Frodo
and brother Johnny
were transporting
the mummy Rhutenkharmese
from the museum to a private
residence in Rivers tone.
Somehow Janis ended up
inside the coffin,
then escaped,
then died moments later.
- Nothing unusual in that.
- Yeah.
But wasn't Rhys in prison
for his part
in the savings bank robbery?
Yeah, until he was released
on parole today.
And he hasn't made
a positive I.D.?
Well, according to him,
"I'm pretty sure, but I haven't
seen her for a while.
And I've never seen her
dressed up in bandages before.
It's pretty confusing.
If it's her,
her name is Janis."
I didn't know anything
about anything.
I was just the driver.
It was my cousin Johnny's gig.
Johnny was here?
He took off.
Well, it was pretty freaky.
What do you know about that?
Never seen it before.
Ask Johnny.
I would if he'd decided
to stick around.
I am certain of one thing
already, Mike.
That woman is not Egyptian.
She looks more Irish,
with a hint of Bulgarian maybe.
Well, Janis, if that's
your name, this is a first.
Mother posing as a mummy.
Fancy dress party gone wrong?
Or possibly Lithuanian.
We'll do our best to find out
what went wrong.
Excuse me.
Uh, D.S.S. Mike Shepherd.
Can I help?
Daphne Richards.
That mummy belongs to me.
What the hell's going on?
Ah, maybe it's warmer
down at the station.
Hey, Mama, don't cry ♪
Hey, Mama, don't cry ♪
I'm going home ♪
Hey, Mama, don't you cry ♪
It's been a busy day
for you, hasn't it?
I understand you were released
from Broken wood Men's Prison
at 2:00 p.m.,
only to end up
at a murder scene at 11:00 p.m.
Tell me about it.
Well, actually, I was hoping
you could tell me.
When did you last see
your mum alive?
Probably about, oh,
10 years ago.
Yeah, she hit me over the head
with a badminton racquet.
Why did she do that?
'Cause she wanted me
to play tennis.
So you last saw her
10 years ago?
Hard to forget
something like that.
How, then, did she end up in the
back of Frodo's coffee cart
in an ancient Egyptian coffin
at 11:00 p.m. on a Friday night?
I told you.
It was Johnny's idea.
He came to me
with a proposition
A rare antiquity?
Yeah, that's what I said.
And I need a wing man.
Someone I can trust.
Someone with a trailer
of these very proportions.
You have a trailer.
But it's not covered, Frodes.
It's not covered.
I guess he was worried
it might rain or something.
Do you think Johnny
might have been set up?
Or he was setting you up.
No, why would he do that?
Why would Johnny Oades be moving
a 2,000-year-old mummy?
I've been asking myself
the same thing.
The cost of freight
to Rivers tone is ridiculous.
Special insurance and the rest.
Gordon, I'll lose 10%.
Well, that's on you, darling.
I'm already paying over the odds
for the tatty old girl.
Johnny Oades approached
the next day
and made a very generous offer.
I don't want her to go.
Yeah, I felt the same
about my own mum
when she went into rehab.
I was after payment
for the lawns.
Of course.
But I was thinking
Me and my team could get Rhuten
over to Rivers tone for you.
No charge.
You get what you pay for,
I suppose.
Or in Gordon's case, you don't.
And Gordon is?
Gordon Godley.
A collector of rare artifacts.
More money than sense.
But I named my price,
and he didn't bat an eye.
Can I ask how much?
That's a lot of money.
My museum is going broke.
I was grateful for the offer.
Given the contents of
the mummy's coffin
contained a victim,
believed to be Janis Oades,
it does raise the question
as to where the remains
of Rhutenkharmese are now?
And that is very concerning.
I should lodge
a missing persons.
It's probably more
a case of theft.
The missing person I'm most
interested in is Johnny Oades.
If Frodo
had anything to do with it,
he's taking it pretty hard.
For the record,
Janis was actually my godmother
before she hooked up with my dad
and became my step mum.
So she's not your auntie?
No, she is,
'cause then she left my dad
and married my Uncle Bobby,
so she became my auntie, too.
And Johnny's?
It's complicated.
Look, I'm kind of grieving
on three different fronts here,
and I'm really worried
about Johnny.
Well, take your time, Frodo.
But from the outside
it seems
that Johnny orchestrated
to have the mummy
in his possession,
got you to stop the car,
and, according to Rhys,
open the casket.
He had some ulterior motive
going on.
Although Rhys said that Johnny
was as surprised as he was.
Jesus Christ!
You bastard!
It's interesting that
your mother's last words were
"You bastard."
It's not exactly a term
of endearment, is it?
No, it isn't.
So can you understand
what I'm thinking here?
Oh, my God.
Johnny's an illegitimate child?
Clearly prison did nothing
to reform Rhys' I.Q.
Gordon Godley
needs to be spoken to.
He is?
The intended recipient
of Rhutenkharmese.
A retired archaeologist.
Does he have any connection
to Janis Oades?
Likewise Rhys, Frodo,
and Johnny.
On it.
If Johnny Oades is so innocent,
why hasn't he come forward?
We've got an alert out on him.
He can't have got far.
How did a 21st-century woman
end up
in a 2,000-year-old coffin?
Uh, prank gone wrong?
Costume party fail?
Or someone trying to avoid
burial costs?
While we wait for
a positive I.D.,
let's find out everything we can
about Janis.
Rhys and Frodo?
We've got their statements.
They can go for now.
Sims. There's an Abigail Phoenix
for you.
I'm Detective Sims.
How can I help?
Rhys Oades is my boyfriend.
He called me.
So you're aware
of what's happened?
I think so.
He was really upset.
Is his mum dead?
We're still waiting
on a formal identification.
But yes.
How well did you know Janis?
I only met her this evening
when we had drinks for Rhys.
But she really seemed nice.
To turning over a new leaf
on the tree of life.
Fresh starts, cuz.
To new beginnings
for my "Rhyses Pieces."
Means a lot.
Welcome home, Rhys.
Hey, Mum.
- Hey, Auntie-Mum.
- Hey, Auntie.
Sorry I didn't visit you
in the clink
but you're a big boy now, right?
You made your bed,
you lie in it.
And who's this?
Oh, Mum, this is Abigail.
My girlfriend.
- Hello, Abigail.
- Hello, Janis.
Welcome to the family.
Rhys was there?
Yeah, of course.
The drinks were for him.
What What time was this?
Around 6:00.
What time did Janis leave?
Um, I don't know.
I left before her.
Around 6:30, I guess.
I had to get back to work
at the museum.
Okay, you you work
at the museum?
On the front desk,
and I help out Daphne
with the functions and stuff.
That's how I met Rhys.
Through Johnny.
He mows the lawns there.
Did I mention
my brother's in jail?
He's a bit of a badass.
Bank robbery.
Doing 12 long ones.
12 years?
Nah, months.
He was just the driver.
Well, I hope
he's being rehabilitated.
Sounds like someone who needs
to be supported,
not mythologized.
Yeah. Totes.
I figured Johnny wasn't gonna
help out much,
so I wrote to him,
and he wrote back.
He's actually a sweet guy.
I really hope he's not
in any more trouble.
Would you mind waiting here?
Rhys will be out in a moment.
Uh, a witness has Janis Oades
at the Snake and Tiger
around 6:30.
Frodo, you are free to go.
Although I'm sure we'll be in
touch with follow-up questions.
Um, what about my coffee cart?
Someone will be in touch.
Clements will show you out.
Abigail's here.
Oh. Awesome.
Apparently you went to the pub
for a drink
earlier this evening.
I did, yeah.
And your mum was there too.
Oh, yeah.
Actually, she was.
I'm just a bit curious as to why
you omitted to mention it
when I asked before?
Yeah, nah, I-I did see her,
but it was real brief.
She wasn't there long.
Um, she just popped in to say hi
and then had to see some guy
about a thing.
A guy.
What guy?
Don't know.
She didn't say.
Would be a work thing, probably.
What was
your mum's line of work?
Singing telegrams.
Yeah, she's been doing it
since I was a kid.
Apparently real good.
Rhys, will you be okay to make
that I.D. on your mum tomorrow?
- It's a formality.
- Yep. Should be okay.
Hey, you.
You okay?
Yeah, totally.
I am so sad for you
about your mum.
Yeah, nah, it's full on.
I'm here for you.
You know that, eh?
We'll see you tomorrow, Rhys.
Um, one thing.
You know how you're looking
for Johnny?
He wasn't even there
when my mum kind of died,
so he had nothing to do with it.
Are you saying you want to
change your statement?
I think that would be best.
So, Rhys,
Frodo has already said,
"I heard screams.
I jumped from my car
and saw Rhys and Johnny
leaping around, freaking out
'cause of this monstery thing
in bandages.
Like I said, it was freaky."
It was pretty dark.
You know, maybe Frodo
wasn't wearing his glasses.
Frodo doesn't wear glasses.
Yeah, maybe he should.
Although Johnny might not have
been around the coffee cart,
it doesn't mean he didn't have
some prior knowledge
about how Janis
came to be indisposed.
Now there may be
a simple explanation
as to how she ended up
in the mummy's coffin
so we just want to talk to him.
You know, just to
clear things up, that's all.
So do you have any idea
where he is?
Are you sure, hon?
No, I don't.
If you'll excuse me.
Well, he's lying.
Just not sure why.
Let him go about his day
tomorrow, see where he leads us.
I take it that car
belongs to Johnny Oades?
Uh, yes.
He left it there last night.
Organize to have it guarded
in case
Johnny tries to pick it up.
Copy that.
There's a vehicle registered
to Janis Oades
found on Glendalough Lane.
I'll check it out.
This way.
They really did use bandages?
They did.
It's not some Hollywood creation
as some think.
I take it this room
is temperature controlled?
And alarmed?
When the museum is alarmed,
these are activated.
- How many people know the code?
- Only me.
Did you check the mummy
before it left the premises?
Of course.
Around 5:00 p.m.?
After we closed.
Was it checked by both of you?
"She," Detective.
Rhutenkharmese was a person.
Apologies. "She."
I was going to, but I had to go
and see Rhys.
So only you?
You checked her at 5:00 p.m.,
then went home?
No, I stayed on the premises
to prepare for my lecture.
Daphne gives a monthly lecture
to the Friends of the Museum
on a variety of topics.
Last evening's was on
the story of Rhutenkharmese,
it being her last evening
with us.
Old linen sheets were used
to draw moisture
away from the body
and also to hold
the shape of the person.
This was an integral part
of the mummification process,
moisture being the enemy
of preservation.
Then, after a small supper,
they left,
and I waited, doing paperwork,
until about 9:45 p.m.
when Johnny and his team
What was supper?
Tea, coffee, sausage rolls.
That sort of thing.
Abigail does a lovely spread.
I'm under no illusions
that most of the supporters
only come for the supper.
Most of what I say
goes right over their heads.
But so long as the food is good,
they leave satisfied.
Can't beat a good sausage roll.
Why was transfer so late?
It was Johnny's idea.
Oh, Fennella.
Detective Shepherd.
My daughter, Fennella.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
There can be no cleaning
until we've finished
examining the tomb room, okay?
- You say it was Johnny's idea?
- Yeah.
I prefer nighttime.
Less traffic,
less chance of roadworks
Variables, you know?
I work at night mainly, too.
It's kind of more zen.
- Last night?
- After the lecture, yeah.
The coffin is actually known
as the suhet
and is usually made
out of sycamore fig.
The sarcophagus is
the stone container
that houses the suhet.
That's when you made
another supper
fit for an old folks home.
What? I'm just calling it
like it is.
The exact number
of mummies prepared is unknown,
but we have been privileged
to have Rhutenkharmese
lie with us all these years.
And with that, supper is served.
It's what they want.
Not me.
It's not like you help.
Why do you even come?
To support my mother.
Alright. Enough.
Hey, baby.
Oh, hey, yeah.
Anything I can do.
I'll see you soon.
Rhys. He's asking if I can be
with him to I.D. his mum.
He's upset.
Of course.
I can give you a lift
if you like.
Okay. Great.
Uh, you left the lecture
before supper?
Because I hate asparagus
and I had to start cleaning.
Did you go near the tomb room?
They were moving the mummy.
There's no point in mopping
the floor before that.
That'll be all for now.
Excuse me.
Talk to me.
Janis's car's unlocked,
keys in the ignition,
petrol tank half full.
Judging by the tire marks,
it wasn't a hard stop.
Like she parked it
and walked away
Although without her handbag.
Any signs of a struggle?
Nothing obvious.
Okay. Thanks.
Like the car.
Very retro.
Thank you.
My grandad had one just like it.
It's very dependable.
Don't bother leaving a message.
I never check them.
There's no hurry with this.
You can take your time.
The good news is, your mother
was not a real mummy,
otherwise she would have had
all her organs removed
except her heart.
This would make my job
quite difficult.
Excuse me,
what are you doing here?
Oh, well, the door was open.
Oh, my God, you shouldn't
be touching my body!
Hey Hey, Dad.
What a bugger, eh?
You're Janis's husband?
But details shouldn't matter
at a time like this.
As God is my witness, I'm
Oh, I'm gutted.
My condolences.
My heart is broken, and my nuts,
they're in a vise.
I'm emotionally and
And painfully devastated.
I think we should
You two can both verify
that this person is Janis Oades?
That's Mum.
Woman of my dreams
until the dream ended.
Oh. Who's this little picture
of beauty?
Oh, uh, Dad, this is
my, um, girlfriend, Abigail.
Hello, Bobby.
I can see what you see
in her, mate. Well done.
Good to see someone keeping him
on the straight and narrow.
Well, I'd better
get back to work.
I just wanted to pay
my respects, that's all.
Well, ah, that's all
we need for now.
- Do you need a ride back?
- No.
We'll get a cup of coffee
or something, eh, baby?
After the supper, did you wait
at the museum?
No, I went straight home
to cook a dinner for Rhys.
Being his first night out,
I wanted to make it special.
Of course, it did go cold.
Even cold, it was really good.
And Rhys, between 6:30 and 9:30,
where were you?
At the Snake and Tiger.
Everyone left, so I played
a game of pool.
Yeah, it had been a while.
How did you get to the museum?
Johnny and Frodo picked me up
around 9:00, I guess.
And this 3000 B.C.
Early to middle Bronze Age.
Byzantine, of course.
And this
You'll never guess the year.
You're right, I probably won't.
Go on.
Have a shot.
Uh, 200 A.D.?
Maybe Greco-Roman?
Terra-cotta pottery
from some hippie commune
in the Coromandel.
Don't worry, you wouldn't be
the first to get it wrong.
Well, you've certainly had
a very exciting career.
Please take one.
I have a spare copy somewhere.
Oh, no, I can't.
We can't accept gifts.
Oh, I see.
Well, if you want to know
my story, it's all in there.
A story not without
its disappointments, mind you.
In truth, my passion was finding
the sunken city of Atlantis,
but asthma prevented me
from doing
the Jacques Cousteau thing.
So I stuck to the desert
and the dust.
Hence your interest
in Egyptology.
But in all my years
on the banks of the Nile
I never netted a mummy.
So if you can't find one,
buy one?
Rhutenkharmese was about
a sense of completion.
$100,000 worth?
On the open market,
I'd get 10 times that.
Were you planning
on making a profit?
I don't need to make more money.
Do you think I would go
to all that trouble
if I was planning a quick flip?
You were seen
leaving the lecture last night
before supper was served.
Where were you going?
A trip to the gentlemen's,
as I recall.
And do you know a Janis Oades?
Stop, stop, stop.
She's by the river.
- Janis?
- Lakmé.
She's gathering flowers
with Mallika by the river.
The Nile, I like to think.
Are we good, or?
Now, where were we?
Janis. Oades.
Do you know her?
Hmm. Oades.
I don't believe so.
Borrow it.
I insist.
Would you like me to sign it?
Did you do something different?
I find pouring hot water
over the coffee grounds
much more effective
than the other way around.
Good tip.
We have a cause of death
from Gina.
Heart failure caused
by asphyxiation.
No sign of strangulation?
She suffocated.
Exactly why?
We wait for toxicology.
I have my suspicions,
but I like to keep my clothes
close to my body.
Bet you were relieved
about that.
Russian turn of phrase,
no doubt.
Or a tease.
Makes sense, though.
Suffocation from being sealed
in a coffin.
Though at 2,000 years old,
I doubt that it's airtight.
And Rhys reported Janis
yelling, "You bastard!"
So she was breathing then.
Or gasping.
Her last gasp maybe.
We're treating this
as a homicide, right?
So, what do we actually know?
Janis was last seen at
the Snake and Tiger at 6:30 p.m.
before being discovered
in the coffee cart
moments before her death.
At the pub,
she socialized with Frodo,
Johnny, Rhys,
and his girlfriend, Abigail.
Abigail left sometime
before 6:30
to help Daphne
with her lecture at the museum.
And Janis sent
a text message at 6:35 p.m.
saying she was "on her way,"
after saying she had to see
"a man about a thing."
Which, for now, are we assuming
was a singing telegram booking?
Any update on that number?
Unlisted, but I've got
a few lines of inquiry underway.
So, somewhere after 6:35,
she was placed in the casket.
But before 9:45, when Frodo,
Johnny, and Rhys arrived.
Daphne has stated that she was
on the premises throughout,
which means that the museum,
and therefore the tomb room,
had no alarm activated.
The lecture lasted
from 7:30 to 8:30,
including supper.
And the only people
to leave the room were Abigail,
to prepare the supper;
Gordon Godley,
to relieve himself;
and Fennella, to
Start her cleaning, apparently,
but that could do
with some clarification.
With the alarm deactivated,
the tomb room was accessible
during this period.
We need to know the movements of
Fennella Richards,
Rhys, Frodo, and the elusive
Johnny Oades during this time.
Don't judge me.
There's not much else to do
without my coffee cart.
Heard from Johnny at all?
- No.
- Well, if you do
Don't worry.
I'll give him a smack.
Just tell him
we'd love to have a chat.
His stupid plan
is costing me business.
Did Janis mention
where she was going
after she left
the Snake and Tiger?
No, just the usual.
I've got to see a man
about a thing.
Which we understand to be
a singing telegram booking.
Did Rhys tell you that?
He did.
You should probably know
that Janis was a
You know.
I don't know.
Come on, man.
A "woman of the night."
An escort?
She has been for years.
Ever since I was a kid.
She was always popping out
and saying,
"Oh, I'm just off
to sing for my supper."
Which is why Rhys thinks
she performs singing telegrams?
Yeah, well, they're kind of
the same thing, really.
Just one's got more singing.
And a telegram.
You can come through now.
Stay here, son.
I can handle this.
So, apart from Rhys,
I've got Debbie and Lisa.
They're up at Tahuna Point.
Lovely mother.
Loves disco.
Nothing wrong
with a bit of disco.
Great mood-setter.
And then there's, ah
Ah, well,
that's Tracey and Dwayne.
They're over in Rivers tone.
Their mother's a bit
of a handful, if I'm honest.
Very demanding.
that's very interesting, but
And then there's Jono and Frodo.
Wait, sorry.
Frodo is your son too?
Um, just quietly, there was
a bit of an overlap with me
and my brother's first wife.
We don't talk about it
with Frodes.
But Johnny?
Oh, yeah, he's all mine.
Yeah, he's my firstborn.
I was only 17, but you know,
virility is a gift
that cries out
to be shared, yeah?
Have you seen him lately?
Not that I recall.
We'd like to talk to him.
Well, let the boy grieve.
We're all grieving.
For a good woman lost, eh?
I've grieved, I tell you.
And amidst all that grief,
I started to think about
Why was she taken so soon?
Have you seen the will?
Have you?
No, but there was
a life insurance policy.
Yeah, she got it
when we were together,
and knowing Janis
as well as I do,
which is extremely well,
uh, it's highly unlikely
that she canceled it.
You're suggesting that someone
had Janis killed
to benefit from that policy?
Just thought you should know.
Well, as yet, no will
has been forthcoming.
It may be
that she died intestate.
What's that if it's not
legal mumbo jumbo?
If there is no will, her estate
will be administered
by the courts
to go into probate.
I think Janis would want
her death
to be a positive outcome
for the kids.
It's better that I handle
the family affairs.
If a will does come to light,
I'm sure a lawyer
will be in touch
Assuming, that is,
you are mentioned in it.
Aha. I will be.
Janis loved me,
and our connection was so
well, it was so passionate
it couldn't be contained.
- Who's this?
- Who wants to know?
Detective Constable
Daniel Chalmers,
Broken wood CIB.
You are?
- Elfred.
- Elfred.
I'd like to have a little chat
about a Janis Oades.
I don't know anyone
by that name.
Someone from your number texted
her last night multiple times.
That wasn't you?
Can we meet somewhere discreet?
Nothing to see here, son.
It seems that she died
"in prostate."
- Intestate.
- Mm? Yeah.
And it seems she had
stomach problems as well.
She may have died
without a will.
- Oh, hello.
- Hello.
You two know each other?
Only in passing.
Come on.
You had some questions?
Ah. Please.
I take it your grandfather
was an archaeologist.
No, artilleryman.
Second World War.
El-A lame in.
He won Rhutenkharmese
in a poker game.
Some soldiers came back from
the war with physical wounds,
others with PTSD.
My grandfather came back
with an Egyptian mummy,
and he built a museum
around her.
I've taken the liberty
to call the National Museum
to advise
on a preservation plan.
I wish you had not done that.
As an exhibit in a homicide, it
needs to be kept by the police.
This room
is temperature controlled
up to a point but it's
Any progress with her remains?
Ah, not as yet.
So, you didn't stay
for the supper.
Because you
You don't like asparagus?
Who does?
Mm, I do, actually.
Your funeral.
So while the others
were enjoying
their lethal sandwiches and
raspberry slice, you were?
I always start
in the maritime section.
And did you notice anyone else
at that time?
Anyone, um,
entering the tomb room?
I was focused on my work.
That's when I noticed
the helmet.
Had it fallen or been knocked?
Never happened before, though.
Have you had any dealings
with a Janis Oades?
I've never met anyone
by that name.
But you know
Johnny Oades, of course?
Oh, yeah.
His car's still
parked out the front.
You haven't seen him
lurking around have you?
He asked me out once.
I said, "No, Johnny, no.
That's not something you do
with your half-sister."
I just cleaned that.
Uh, does that mean?
Bobby Oades is my dad?
Yeah, apparently.
Mum doesn't really like
to talk about it,
so we don't have
anything to do with him.
He's a gravedigger, though.
I know that much.
My dad digs graves.
I always thought
that was pretty cool.
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
He's a cool guy.
Daphne Richards has a child
to Bobby Oades,
Janis's ex-husband.
Surely that has
some significance
above and beyond the fact
he has at least eight children.
- Eight?
- Yeah.
the man is a phenomenon.
Is there anyone in Broken wood
not fathered by him?
Pretty sure I'm not.
Yeah, and you should feel
very okay about that.
What about Janis's phone?
Janis's last booking was a
gentleman by the name of Elfred.
He didn't want to come
into the police station
or have me come to his home.
He admits texting Janis,
though he only knew
her as "Flora Begonia."
Very exotic.
He swears Janis never turned up
at his place
which is 10 K's beyond
where Janis's car was found
out near Pateke Point.
Which suggests she was en route.
The IT guys established
that Janis's smart phone
never clicked over
to the Pateke Point cell tower.
She, or at least her phone,
never went to Elfred's place.
She stopped along the way
at Glendalough Lane
For a reason as yet unknown.
Then somehow got herself
into a coffin at the museum,
which is a five-minute drive
away here.
Glendalough Lane is very close
to the cemetery
where Bobby Oades works.
Can that be a coincidence?
Bobby Oades.
Even just the name makes me
want to take a shower.
Gordon's pulling
out of the deal.
- I can't afford to stay open.
- I'm sorry to hear that.
Perhaps if you'd made
finding the remains
of Rhutenkharmese
were more of a priority,
I could have kept
the sale together.
I'm confident that once
we find the person
who disposed of Janis Oades,
that will lead to Rhutenkharmese
being recovered.
Too late for me.
Bobby Oades?
What about him?
I understand
he is Fennella's father.
So? What if he is?
You said you only knew him
in passing.
Which is sadly accurate.
The result of one too many
flaming sambucas
at the Frog and Cheetah
20 years ago.
It's not something
I like to dwell on.
So you two are not in contact?
Not if I can help it.
Bobby does nothing
nor has he ever done
anything for me or Fennella.
He was Janis's ex-husband.
I'm just wondering if you
knew her in passing too.
I told you.
I never met the woman.
I'd heard of her,
and from what I understood
I doubt she was the museum type.
She'd certainly never been here.
Bobby's been making noises
about a life insurance policy.
He seemed hopeful.
Well, perhaps if he gets
a payout,
he might like to send
some of it my way
20 years
of back-dated child support
could come in handy right now.
Got an update on Janis's will?
Ah, we're not here about that.
Better be quick.
Got a long night ahead.
Couple of graves to dig.
You dig by hand?
Hell yeah.
None of this machine nonsense.
Each one bespoke.
Each one guaranteed 90 degrees.
You want to lie in the ground,
you want to lie straight.
I'll be digging one
for Janis soon.
That'll be a special time.
We understand that you prefer
to work at night.
Why's that?
Less interruptions.
You, um, have a daughter,
who works at the museum.
We've never managed to bond.
Her mother's always been
a bit arms-length.
Fresh turf for a grave
dated 1919?
These old graves,
sometimes they sink.
Were you working two nights ago?
The night that Janis died?
Till about 9:00 p.m.
Glendalough Lane isn't far.
Around 6:45 p.m.,
a car pulled off
to the side of the road.
It was Janis.
See anything?
Mate, most of my work
is six feet below ground level.
She could've landed a jumbo jet,
I wouldn't have seen anything.
And after 9:00 p.m.?
I was at the Snake and Tiger
until closing
with my son Johnny.
Johnny wasn't there.
He was ferrying an Egyptian
mummy to Rivers tone
between 9:00 and 11:00.
It's not how I remember it.
Johnny was at the pub.
You can ask the barmaid.
We might just do that.
You need to clean up your mess.
All good, Dad.
I got a plan.
Let's hope it's better
than the last bloody one.
Toxicology has confirmed
what I already suspected.
The victim was carrying
an extraordinarily high level
of Ketamine.
Horse tranquilizer?
I thought
she was part Bulgarian,
but now I think
she is part horse,
because only a horse could
survive that amount of sedation.
Although she didn't.
She survived long enough to get
out of the death casket
and chase young men
down the street.
Do we know how she ingested it?
I took another close look.
I can find no evidence
of injection or residue
in the nasal cavity,
or signs of suppository.
So she took it orally?
I deduce she most likely
drank it.
Yeah, I remember Johnny.
He was acting like the half-wit
that he is.
Reckoned he'd fallen asleep
in the toilet.
You know, you'd make
a great mother.
I have an instinct
for these things.
More drinking, less talking,
Oh, my God!
What do you know.
I must've fallen asleep
in the dunny for like two hours.
I'll have another.
Of whatever it is
I was having before.
Before what?
Before I fell asleep
in the dunny.
For two hours!
Have you considered
colonic irrigation?
What is that?
What time was this?
About 11:00.
He was sweating as though
he'd run a marathon.
I assumed it was just because
he's up to his old tricks.
If you've been dealing
in the toilets again
No way.
Not me.
Not ever.
God's honest.
Search me.
I'm clean.
Yeah, you better be.
Because if I catch you at it,
I'll break both your arms.
Johnny was dealing drugs?
I can't prove it.
And I'm no nark.
But I'm pretty sure.
Have you seen him
since that night?
- No.
- And Rhys Oades.
On the night in question,
was he here by himself
between 6:30 and 9:00
before Frodo picked him up?
He popped out for a while.
Poor kid.
First night out of the can,
drink goes
straight to your head.
Gina's declared that the victim
was incapacitated by Ketamine.
Based on the volume
in her bloodstream,
she probably took it
15 to 20 minutes before
she fell into a catatonic state.
the horse tranquilizer?
And recreational drug.
And guess who's been up
to his old tricks.
Johnny Oades?
Supposedly dealing
at the Snake and Tiger.
Get that car of his searched.
And while you're at it,
pop into the hospital.
Johnny's just been taken there
by one of our uniform guys.
You can have two minutes
with him.
He's possibly suffering
some kind of psychosis.
We're running tests.
And how has
this psychosis presented?
Detective, you know I can't say.
You're a hard man
to get hold of.
Pumpkin-headed butterflies
doing the fandango.
We know you've had a hard time
with the death of your auntie,
but we just need to talk about
what happened that night.
- That's all.
- Nothing to do with me.
- I wasn't even there.
- We know that's not true.
What we don't know
is why you're lying.
You should know I'm not
mentally fit to stand trial.
For what?
Would that have anything to do
with the death of your auntie?
Pink fairies on a pumpkin head.
Scaramouche, Scaramou
- He needs to rest.
- He needs acting lessons.
See you real soon, Johnny.
Detective Sims.
I'm wondering if you could come
over for a chat about something?
Abigail's made afternoon tea.
An offer too good to refuse.
What are you looking for?
Well, he wouldn't keep them
in the car. It's too obvious.
We're talking about
Johnny Oades here.
You okay there?
He calls it
his mobile dispensary.
Time to get back to work.
I have to say that is
the freshest I've ever tasted.
Anything less would be
a travesty.
It's been a while since
I've encountered
a classic vol-au-vent.
Time consuming but worth it
for the crunch and crackle
of the puff pastry.
Well, you certainly are
a dab hand in the kitchen.
I have my Nana to thank
for all her homemaking tips.
Did she teach you
how to knit, too?
She did.
Do you?
Oh, no.
Abigail's real talented.
No, you're the talented one.
I'm gonna read them
one of your letters.
- No, oh, no.
- No?
- No.
- I'm going to.
"Dear Abigail,
thank you for your letter.
It lifted my spirits no end,
like a native hawk undulating
as it surfs along the rolling
southwesterly breeze,
the wind that pulls my love
across the scarred landscape
of my heart to you.
Time, space, air, you.
Isn't that lovely?
Wow. Wow.
You wrote that?
Uh, yeah.
The thing about prison
is there's lots of time.
4,380 hours is what he endured.
And what do you plan to do with
your new found freedom, Rhys?
Uh, well, I always wanted
to be an astronaut, um,
and Abigail said, you know,
it's never too late
to reach for the stars.
So, I'm gonna train in that.
Yeah, except apparently you got
to be real good at maths.
Well, as my Nana said,
roadblocks are only
blocks in the road
that need to be removed
for happy motoring.
Or in your case,
happy space travel!
Ah, so, Rhys, what was it you
wanted to chat to us about?
Was it about the fact
that you weren't at the pub
for the whole time
that you suggested?
'Cause we do have a witness
who saw you leave.
Be honest, love.
A little bit, yeah.
The thing about prison is,
there's time but no stars.
I just wanted to see the stars.
And the rest as well.
About Johnny.
Yeah, about my statement,
how I changed it?
I'd like to change it back.
He lied to protect Johnny
because Johnny was freaking out.
Oh, hey, Johnny.
Hey, how did you
get in here, man?
Man of stealth, Rhys,
man of stealth.
Now, listen good.
I wasn't there, you understand?
- How's that?
- You owe me!
What for?
I picked you up from prison
today, no charge.
Yeah, but look where I am now!
Don't be a girl.
This is about life and death.
First, Janis.
How'd that happen?
I could be next.
Frodo, you are free to go.
We'll be in touch
with follow-up questions.
What about my coffee cart?
That's so embarrassing.
He'll keep.
Thank you for
your belated honesty, Rhys.
Oh, no worries.
And, um, thank you
for your sensational catering.
Those sausage rolls.
I can see what all the fuss
was about.
My pleasure.
Trade secret
On the packet it says
preheat oven to 180 degrees
and then leave in
for 15 minutes.
- But don't.
- Don't preheat?
Straight in
and leave for 22 minutes.
That way the sausage rolls and
the oven, they work together.
Good tip.
But you've got to
watch them constantly.
A minute too long and they'll go
from golden brown to coal.
I'll try it.
Thanks again.
Rhys Oades as an astronaut.
Now, there's a special thought.
It's good to have goals.
It's not good to be deluded,
as Abigail surely is
if she thinks
Rhys wrote those letters.
He would've got another inmate
to write them.
Oldest trick in the book.
But it means he's still not
being a 100% honest.
No, but on a positive note,
we do have a timeline
for how long it took
for supper to be prepared.
22 minutes?
And if she was cooking
and Daphne was lecturing,
what was Gordon Godley
doing all that time?
And everybody's got
their poison ♪
It's around the back.
You're good to go.
Sweet as.
First coffee's on me.
No need for that.
Thanks, Frodo.
Detective Shepherd?
Ah, no.
I'll get him for you. You are?
Antigone James.
National Museum.
Just a minute.
Boss, the museum expert.
You should know
the powder is Ketamine.
you're a very clever woman.
But I already know that.
Positive on Johnny Oades's
I'm gonna bring him in
for a chat.
Copy that.
You need to move that.
Well, I can't.
The engine will seize.
I can still do you
a coffee, though?
Boss, I need to borrow your car.
Excuse me.
- Is this a wind-up?
- Seriously. Mine's blocked in.
- What about Kristin's?
- She's in Rivers tone.
No scratches.
Hey, you know I have a great
respect for the elderly.
When you used the gentlemen's
on the night in question,
did you visit
any other part of the museum?
So nowhere else, then?
Why would I?
I've seen it all several times.
Most of it is trite.
Rhutenkharmese was the only
thing of value, to be honest.
And how long do you think
you were indisposed?
Do we really need
to talk about this?
Well, the period between you
leaving and returning
is no less than 22 minutes.
I wasn't aware
I was being timed.
It's just quite a long period.
Perhaps I indulged in a curry
for an early dinner
and it caused me
a degree of discomfort,
and perhaps I sat there for
a disagreeable period of time.
You either did or you didn't.
Perhaps you can name
the Indian restaurant
where you purchased
this curry from.
Did I say it was Indian?
Perhaps it was Malaysian.
- Mr. Godley
- What do you think I was doing?
Stuffing a woman
I've never heard of
into the casket of a mummy?
These days I can barely tie
my own shoelaces
let alone heft bodies
in and out of coffins.
Any more insinuations
and I'll be engaging my lawyer.
Tests show
normal brain function.
And his cortisol levels
are within an acceptable range.
If he's suffering PTSD,
then it's not presenting
in the usual ways.
Normal transmission
has resumed, then?
The only unusual thing
is that he keeps asking
to be moved to a psych ward.
Which would help in a plea that
he's not fit to stand trial.
Any reason why
he can't be discharged?
- None that I can see.
- Thank you, Doc.
Johnny, Johnny, Johnny.
You're a box of birds, I hear.
Oh, no, quite a bit worse.
They're taking me
to the psych ward.
First you're gonna come
with me to the station
and give me
some straight answers
around the death of Janis Oades.
Nah, I'm struggling
a bit mentally, eh?
Do you know
what killed your auntie?
Ketamine overdose.
We found some
interesting merchandise
under the seat
of your lawnmower.
Nice little sideline
you've got going there.
No, no, no way.
So it's not hard to make
the connection
between your endeavors
and Janis's death.
I would never offer drugs
to my auntie.
That would be like asking
your sister out on a date.
You need to work harder
on your analogies.
Okay. I did not know
that she was my sister.
Get dressed.
I'll need you to sign
Mr. Oades out.
- Of course.
- Thank you.
Oh, yeah, it's all coming back
to me now.
I can I can feel
the fog of grief lifting.
You've got something
you want to tell me?
Firstly, that's Oades
with an "O"
I need your car.
As you were.
Hey! Hey, Police!
I need your car.
Come on!
Gordon Godley is citing
curry issues,
but I'm not buying it.
Charlie 3, confirm direction.
Suspect heading west
in a white Holden Kings wood,
rego FT 1387.
I'm in pursuit.
Do you want a coffee?
Oh, no, no, no.
Hang in there, baby!
Oh, no, no, no.
No! No, Johnny!
- I need to hide!
- Don't come near me!
What was it
you wanted to tell me?
I need a bloody ambulance.
No scratches.
Johnny Oades steals my car
and there are no scratches?
Slight unspooling.
Is that mechanical?
Holly Collins.
It's sacrilege.
Where is he now?
In hospital.
With two broken arms.
That's karma at least.
That grave
Why were you digging it up
I told you.
That's a lot of maintenance.
When these bodies shrink,
there's a chance of subsidence.
It happens from time to time.
That was a bad one.
When Rhys had
"welcome home" drinks
the night that Janis died,
you weren't there.
Why was that?
I wasn't invited.
That's the thing with kids
You bring them into the world,
you work your ass off for them,
and they forget about you.
It hurts sometimes.
Not as much as losing Janis.
Any update on her will?
He knows more than
he's letting on.
We need to keep obs
on the cemetery,
see what Bobby Oades
gets up to at night.
Johnny's out of surgery.
Johnny, it's good to see
you're feeling better.
I'm not.
Would you like a sip of water?
Well, we'd like the truth.
I had nothing to do with it.
Ask Rhys.
Rhys has supplied us
with various versions
of the truth,
none of which made much sense
until he admitted to lying
to cover for you.
Frodo, on the other hand,
was very clear.
That you were with the
coffee cart when Janis emerged.
He said he saw you run off
down the road.
to the Snake and Tiger,
where you concocted a lame story
about having been there
for the two hours prior.
And I believe Frodo
more than you.
And I expect a judge will too.
Alright! Alright!
But I want immunity
from persecution.
What might you
be persecuted for, Johnny?
My auntie rose from the dead,
and she was accusing me.
You bastard!
Like it was my fault.
But she wasn't even
supposed to be in there.
Who was supposed to be in there,
Some crumbly old mummy.
So why open the coffin?
I was just gonna look after it,
the mummy, for a while.
That's all.
- Why?
- It was a dead person.
Really dead.
2,000 years dead.
No harm done.
Because later, you know,
we'd sell it back
to that
weirdo Gordon Godley guy.
We've been approached
by someone on the dark web
who wants to buy it,
so we're gonna swap
the mummy for a dummy.
No one will know, right?
When Gordon realized,
we'd make an approach
via an anonymous source and sell
him back the missing component.
But I was just doing
the grunt work.
It wasn't my idea.
Whose idea was it?
That's just what
I've been struggling with.
You see, when I opened
the coffin
and my auntie came out,
well, I wasn't prepared
for that because
it was her idea.
Janis came up with the plan.
Oh, come on, Johnny.
Blaming the deceased?
It's the truth.
Auntie knew about Gordon
because she had
some personal dealings with him.
Of what nature?
- Do I have to say?
- Yes.
She worked sometimes as an
An escort?
Yeah, we know.
Oh. Okay.
Nothing sexual though.
Just a bit weird.
Are you nearly done, Gordy?
You're a marvelous woman, Flora.
I like to think Rhutenkharmese
had similar qualities.
That's how Janis knew
about Gordon's excitement
over the purchase.
It's a simple switch, Johnny.
I've already measured
the coffin.
She's gonna fit real good.
And that nutjob will pay untold
to get his sweetheart back.
Even split, 70/30.
Don't say
I don't do anything for you.
Me and Janis,
we were just trying to pull
a tiny, tiny little shifty
over Gordon,
and she ends up dead!
When did Janis measure
the coffin?
What does it matter?
The dummy never made it
in there.
We'll be back in touch, Johnny.
In the meantime, there'll be
a guard stationed out here
if you need anything.
Oh, wait.
I get immunity, right?
From persecution?
Oh, sweet as.
From prosecution?
Not so much.
Shouldn't that be kept
at the right temperature?
The museum expert
has made some findings.
It's not 2,000 years old.
- Older?
- It's not even 200.
It's a mock-up,
probably made in the 1940s
and flicked off
in bazaars in Cairo
to unsuspecting tourists
and soldiers.
So, quite possibly everything
about Rhutenkharmese is a ruse?
Except the death of Janis Oades.
Except she was part
of the ruse herself.
She and Johnny were in cahoots
to rip off Gordon
by stealing the mummy
and ransoming it back.
And according to Johnny,
Janis measured the coffin,
which means
She visited the museum.
It still doesn't explain how
she ended up inside it, though.
Unless Gordon got wind of it
and took preemptive action.
Hello, Gordon.
It's Detective Kristin Sims.
Hi, I'd like to speak to you
about your curry consumption.
I would be very surprised
if Janis Oades had been here.
I thought you didn't know her?
Well, from the little
I know of her
Here we are.
The 17th.
Four days before she died.
Well, that is news to me.
I would've remembered because
I would've said, "Oades?
Must be a relation."
Very true.
And if I had seen the name,
I also would have made
the connection,
as would've Abigail,
given her connection with Rhys.
She must've come in
when the desk was unattended.
And still signed the book.
An honest type, perhaps?
Oh, excuse me.
I believe you were of assistance
to my colleague
in locating
Johnny's drug supply.
Who else knows about it?
Half the town.
And what about your mother?
My mother wouldn't know
Ketamine from ketchup.
- But you do?
- Only from what I've heard.
A museum expert believes
Rhutenkharmese's casket
is not old enough
to be authentic.
Are we still dealing
with an actual mummy or not?
As far as I know,
the coffin is 100% authentic.
Yeah, I assumed you did.
Otherwise it would be
a very forward move
to on-sell a bogus mummy
to an archaeologist.
Gordon was never
an archaeologist.
If you want to talk
about authenticity,
maybe you should start
with Gordon "Dogly" Godley.
Gordon Godley
has never been near
an archaeology site in his life.
Copy that.
He made all his money
in dog-food products.
Not sure what
we're dealing with.
Do you want to wait for backup?
I can handle this.
Do these look familiar?
They are a very successful line
in our family business.
One that you've operated
for over 45 years.
More or less.
Was that hard to do while
excavating in the Middle East?
I took a closer look at this.
This was ghost-written
by a local journalist,
Cushla McLeod.
I never said I was a writer.
And she is a lovely girl.
Hmm, well, I rang her.
She said the closest
you've ever got to the Nile
is the Egyptian cotton
in your sheets.
She was paid well.
To write an utter fantasy.
I have a genuine interest
in antiquities.
Janis Oades.
Contrary to what you told me,
a witness has stated
you had quite a detailed
and ongoing relationship.
I didn't recognize the name.
But you do recognize the face.
I knew her as Flora Begonia.
And you paid
for her services sometimes.
Only as a companion.
A lovely woman.
So open.
She was open to ripping you off.
I don't know what you mean.
Well, she was planning to have
the remains
of Rhutenkharmese stolen
to then ransom back to you.
Flora would never do that.
No, but Janis might.
In fact, she did.
Up to a point.
But now no one knows
where Rhutenkharmese is
or how Janis
got into that coffin.
- Unless you do.
- Of course not.
What else were you doing
during the lecture
when you went
to the gentlemen's?
Sorry, are you
expecting someone?
My lawyer.
Knock, knock.
Only me.
Thank heaven.
I am indeed the answer
to your prayers, Gordon.
What is it, old chap?
You called me in the middle
of a squash game.
- Hello, Dennis.
- Hello, Detective.
What an absolute pleasure it is
to see you
in this wondrous
and opulent abode.
Now, I understand the topic
of discussion
is my client's ablutions.
And being a man
of more senior years,
some things take a little longer
than they used to.
And the sarcophagus
is the stone container
that houses the suhet
There's always a sense
of urgency,
surrounded by a long wait.
22 minutes?
And if it was a bad curry,
A curry?
A curry?
No one mentioned a curry.
Was it spicy?
Well, that was foolish.
That will cause you
no end of discomfort.
Dennis, if there was a curry
he'd hardly be inclined
to indulge in supper,
which is exactly what a witness
has your client doing
And with that, supper is served.
Not half bad.
Though not quite up
to your usual standard.
That was a bold move.
Especially after a run-in
with a curry.
There was a curry?
Alright, alright!
Right. Ah
A word with my client.
I'll admit my client hasn't been
completely forthcoming
on what he was up to
on the night in question.
- No kidding.
- I don't kid, Detective.
Not around mental health issues,
as you know.
There was no functional trip
to the bathroom.
Instead, he escaped,
as he often does
during those tedious lectures,
into a private indulgence.
So it's a a fetish?
It's therapy.
10 minutes of "La Wally,"
and he feels like a new man.
And he was back in time
for supper, so no harm done.
But we have been privileged
to have Rhutenkharmese
lie with us all these years.
And with that, supper is served.
If this is true
It is true.
You have my word.
Why didn't he simply just say
from the get-go?
I mean, it's not illegal.
It's quite weird.
But it's not against the law.
Gordon's remaining
family members
have warned him several times.
They've threatened to remove him
from the board of directors
and cut off his income stream.
Now there's only thing worse
than a crazy old rich man,
and that's
a crazy old poor bastard.
Gordon is simply
a well-respected businessman
with a penchant
for idiosyncratic behaviors.
Isn't that right, Gordy?
This is simply
a minor transgression
from a man with
curious predilections.
Yes, I think so.
What did you mean by "not up
to your usual standard"?
About the supper?
The girl usually does
and a seafood Mornay.
A rather nice way
to finish off the evening.
Nothing wrong with
a good vol-au-vent.
But she didn't make
much of an effort.
Sausage rolls.
Rather dull.
Not to mention the asparagus
sandwiches were half frozen.
Belt tightening, no doubt.
Daphne Richards is on
the bones of her behind.
Even though my client
made a very generous offer
in the purchase
of Rhutenkharmese,
sadly, she couldn't
see it through.
Now, if we are done here,
I can still make twilight golf.
You should've seen Mike's face
when that call
came over the radio.
He was stunned.
Looked like he'd been tasered,
But, my friend, I had your back.
I thought, "No, I can handle
this, I'll calm him down."
So I offered to make him
a coffee, and he was like, "No."
Maybe he didn't want coffee.
When has Mike ever said no
to a coffee?
Well, when
he's had his quota.
You know this'll be
a punishment, right?
He'll be tucked up inside
by the fire,
with a glass of Merlot
while we're out here
on a frozen tundra.
I spy with my little eye
something beginning
with "N."
- Nighttime.
- Yeah.
I spy with my little eye
something beginning
with a person dressed
in black with a wheelbarrow
moving stealthily
through a cemetery.
Okay, that's not actually
how the game works.
Hey! Wait!
Hold it there.
So this is Rhutenkharmese?
In a manner of speaking.
They're the remains of someone
who was meant to become her.
Did Bobby take much convincing?
I bury people, not dig them up.
You have done nothing for me,
or for Fennella.
Not a dollar.
You are going to help.
You need your head read.
If you do this,
the slate is clean.
Otherwise, I'm coming after you
for 20 years of it.
That's called blackmail.
No, Bobby.
It's called child support.
He picked
one of the older graves.
Better chance of authenticity.
What about the actual remains
of the mummy?
There never were any.
My grandfather arrived home
with an empty coffin,
but such was the interest
he realized
he could make money off it.
So he created a story
and built a whole museum
around Rhutenkharmese.
From what I've read, there never
was a person of that name.
But for nearly 70 years,
no one's been any the wiser.
However, when Gordon bought her,
I knew he wouldn't be able
to resist looking inside.
Such an odd man.
So I knew there had to be
some vestige of a human.
Well, surely Gordon would know
he'd been duped.
We covet what we want to believe
to be true, Detective.
But if he did expose the remains
as being 2,000 years too young?
I would have blamed
the three clowns who moved her.
Johnny Oades
has a police record.
It would have been
entirely believable
if he had interfered
with the coffin.
Though you didn't expect him
to actually do it.
I put the remains in the suhet.
But not Janis.
If you didn't put Janis in,
that would imply
that someone else did.
Not imply.
Prove, surely.
Then how did you come back
into possession of the remains?
That's what I'd like to know.
Well, perhaps if he gets
a payout,
he might like to send some of it
my way.
Someone was onto me.
I just wanted to put them back
where they came from,
as if nothing had happened.
I've only just covered
the bloody thing in!
20 years, Bobby.
I'll dig it.
But you're filling it!
It's like trying to get
Pandora back in her box.
So, what happens now?
At the very least, you'll be
charged with interference
of human remains.
The Egyptian coffin laid empty
in Broken wood Museum
for 70 years.
A con job on the public.
Daphne Richards, having
knowingly sold an empty vessel,
placed the remains
of "Gwen 1919" inside
before dispatching
to Gordon Godley,
hoping he'd be none the wiser.
Meanwhile, Janis and Johnny
planned to abduct
who they believed
to be Rhutenkharmese
to ransom to Gordon,
replacing it with a dummy.
But before
they could do that, somebody
Presumably the offender
Removed Gwen 1919
And hid her in Daphne's car
That same somebody
incapacitated Janis
and placed her
inside the coffin instead.
Gordon was being ripped off
by two parties
Janis and Daphne.
Well, Janis was the target,
but was it meant
as a message for Gordon?
Or was it simply a convenient
way to dispose of a body?
And by placing the remains
in Daphne's car,
was someone trying to frame her?
So, Daphne was
in the meeting room.
Abigail went into the kitchen.
Gordon went to the maritime room
to indulge in some role-playing,
as corroborated by Fennella.
Mm, who supposedly went to clean
but was out of the room
for a good half an hour
while supper was served
Enough time to switch the bodies
and stash Gwen
in her mother's car.
But why?
Whoever put Janis in that casket
must've known there'd be
a stench in a matter of days.
Suspicions raised,
police get called
"Hello, Gordon, um,
why is there a dead hooker
in your Egyptian coffin?"
Maybe the offender didn't care.
Or maybe Gordon planned
to bury her later in the garden.
Yeah, honestly,
Gordon is a sad individual,
quite deluded, but harmless.
I mean, the most worked up
he got was about
the lack of vol-au-vents
and half-frozen asparagus rolls.
Why were they frozen?
I don't know. You'd have to ask
homemaker Abigail.
I'm sure she'd have some tips.
Pull down the bottom,
and push the top up.
You look very smart, Rhys.
No one's ever said that before.
Big day with your mum's funeral.
I hope it goes well.
I reckon it's gonna be
a special day.
Totally, dude.
Burying your mum
is always special.
I was hoping to catch up
with Abigail.
Oh, she's downtown picking up
some last-minute-thing thing.
I was wanting to ask her
about meeting Janis
at the Snake and Tiger.
Did they get along?
Oh, yeah, it was
It was real nice.
Totally, bro.
Although Janis was
being her usual self.
What's she doing here?
Oh, Mum, uh, this is Abigail.
My, um, my girlfriend.
Hello again.
Stuck to Rhys's shoe, are you?
Auntie Janis could be
pretty direct sometimes.
It was just her way of saying
Rhys and Abigail
seem really tight.
That was mum's way.
She said "again"?
I understood that was
their first meeting.
Pretty sure
they'd never met before.
I mean, Abigail would've
said something.
Actually, the real reason
I came
I was wanting to know
the brand of sausage roll
that Abigail prefers.
They're quite something.
You and me, man.
So good.
You look flash too, Frodo.
J.M.'s Special Savouries.
Hey, I reckon if you come
to the wake, there'll be plenty.
I might just do that.
Got a new friend?
She weighs 55 kilos.
Same as Janis.
Afternoon tea first.
Time to give me a lecture.
So in conclusion, it's my belief
that country music
causes more divorces in Western
populations than any other genre
due to its persistent themes
of doom and gloom.
- Done?
- Done.
22 minutes.
We've got a funeral to get to.
Auntie-Mum was a really,
really great tennis player.
She loved tennis.
She was very aggressive,
which worked to her advantage
most of the time.
She was always the life of
the party at any given time.
Didn't expect to see you here.
I always like to come
to funerals of people
I have worked on.
We become very close.
Bobby, after this,
you and I are going to have
a little chat about subsidence.
She was an awesome
and although she could be
quite scary sometimes,
she had a heart of gold.
Or maybe more like lead.
You know, hard but soft.
Thank you, Frodo.
Clearly, Janis was well loved
by many,
though it seems most of those
couldn't be here today.
And now, Rhys?
Uh, thank you, Mum, um,
for leaving me
to my own devices all the time,
yeah, so I can discover
the world on my own
and forge my own path.
I reckon I'm destined
for some destiny now, yeah.
Thank you, Rhys.
Now we'll sing Psalm 23
"The Lord Is My Shepherd."
- Let us sing.
- Oh, my favorite one.
Uh, one final tribute to my mum.
This morning when I woke up, um,
Abigail asked to marry me,
He said yes!
Um, do you think
you could do the honors?
It It would mean
a lot to my mum.
What a delightful idea,
but it's not that simple.
You'd need a marriage license.
Got one earlier.
And rings.
Rhys and I thought that this
would be a nice way
to turn a negative
into a positive.
- Way to go, Rhysie.
- That's my boy.
I'll be a grandfather soon.
I can feel it in my loins.
Well, yes, um
Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here today
to witness a
A sacred ceremony
The union of Rhys and
- Abigail.
- Abigail.
With great reverence,
we come together
to celebrate the love
and devotion
of these two children of God.
Do you want to get this show
on the road, or?
Just waiting to pick my moment.
If anyone has cause to object
to the forming of this union,
please speak now
or forever hold your peace.
- Okay, that'll be it.
- Yeah.
Ah, uh, I do have one thing,
You need to know that Abigail
is about to be charged
with the murder of Janis Oades.
- No way.
- Excuse me?
We know you had easy access
to the drugs that killed Janis.
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Well, you knew
where Johnny's stash was kept.
Now I have tried
a thousand times ♪
To think about that day ♪
Now I could find ♪
You had a clear opportunity
to administer it.
Time won't pause ♪
The demons claws
will always bleed you dry ♪
You take time here,
it takes time from there ♪
At you live it till you die ♪
I've got to see a man
about a thing.
Peace offering.
God loves a trier.
And I never refuse a free drink.
I've got to get back to work.
I'll see you at home, Rhys.
Hope to see you again, Janis.
You had about 15 minutes before
Janis became incapacitated.
You said you drove directly
to the museum
to prep the supper,
yet strangely enough
the asparagus rolls
were overly chilled,
which suggests
they were prepped earlier.
there were no vol-au-vents.
Switching sausage rolls in
for vol-au-vents
meant you had
time up your sleeve
to lie in wait for Janis
until she succumbed.
Then all you had to do
was wait for your window
of opportunity.
actually called a suhet
and was usually made
out of sycamore fig.
The sarcophagus is the stone
container that houses the suhet.
Once you had those
sausage rolls in the oven,
you had precisely 22 minutes
to execute your plan.
"Sorry" is just
a five-letter word, Janis.
Not good enough.
Not good enough at all.
And with that, supper is served.
That's how it happened,
isn't it?
But why Daphne's car?
What had she ever done to you?
I tried Johnny's first.
It was locked, and I panicked.
When exactly did Janis
become a roadblock?
As my Nana said Roadblocks
are only blocks in the road
that need to be removed
for happy motoring.
From the moment I met her.
You're cutting it fine.
We're about to close.
I'm only here to see
that crusty old mummy.
$10. Thank you.
And please fill out
the visitor's book.
I'm only gonna be five minutes.
It's policy.
Actually, I'll pay cash.
"Oades"? Janis?
That's my name,
don't wear it out.
No, hi, I'm Abigail.
Oh, you know your own name too.
Do you want a round of applause?
I'm sure Rhys mentioned me.
We go out together.
How do you manage that?
He's in jail.
Not for much longer.
- Yeah, I heard he's getting out.
- I'm so excited.
We're having drinks
at the Snake and Tiger.
Oh, I know.
Johnny told me.
He made his bed,
he can lie in it.
But not with you.
Doubt you're his type.
Rhys needs love and support,
not detractors,
not from his own mother.
I'm sorry. I think we got off
on the wrong foot.
"Sorry" is just
a five-letter word, girl.
It's no use to me.
The thing is, Rhys and I
get on so well.
I have our future together
all planned out.
We can tell you about it
at the pub.
I know your type, missy.
Looking for someone to save.
I just wanted to
Life's not about what you want.
Life's about what you need.
Rhysie needs to stand
on his own two feet,
not have some mousy little girl
like you trying to fix him.
- I'm not trying to
- He can't be fixed.
He was dropped on his head
as a baby, maybe.
Don't know.
Something went wrong.
Part of me thinks,
"Oh, my bad."
Then again, what can you do?
Except keep the parasites
like you away from him.
You're not welcome in my family.
And you never will be.
How could she not love you,
like a proper mother?
I'm so confused.
She was destroying you
with negativity.
Can you finish
our wedding, please?
Abigail Phoenix
We're not finished!
No, you need to come with us
down to the station.
Will you write to me, Rhys?
But instead you hit
the crack pipe ♪
Mamma's gonna
see you right, baby ♪
You understand what happened,
She killed your mother.
The thing is, I-I didn't
actually write those letters.
Oh, no, I think
I think she knows that.
I'm sure there are many things
she doesn't want to face.
So you come home
a broken man ♪
Skin and bone
and empty hands ♪
But mamma's is gonna
see you right, baby ♪
Mamma's gonna see you right ♪
In my line of work,
I've heard a lot of confessions
but nothing quite like that.
Marrying Rhys.
That was a real
"Screw you, Janis" from Abigail.
- More than killing her?
- More poetic.
I've never been
to a funeral wedding before.
First for me, too.
Remind me never
to go there again.
Um, well,
that would usually involve
being in a relationship,
so there's little chance
of that, right?
I'm aware of that.
Did he just insinuate that
There's a new Mrs. Shepherd
waiting in the wings?
- Nah.
- No. Not in a million years.
Whatever kind of box
they put me in ♪
I'll still be laughing, baby,
sink or swim ♪
There's only one thing
making me brand-new ♪
There's only one thing,
and that thing is you ♪
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