The Conners (2018) s04e14 Episode Script


I'm Lecy Goranson from "The Conners.
" The episode you're about to see contains themes of gun violence.
Viewer discretion is advised.
Thanks, guys.
The place looks great.
But the "I" fell out of the sign.
It says, "Welcome home, Louse.
" Somebody found their 40-year-old bottle of Hai Karate.
Kind of a mistake.
It's pure alcohol now.
I didn't even have to shave.
The hair just fell out of my face.
Aww, too bad Mark can't be here.
Is he already in Springfield? Yeah, and I I was a little nervous about letting him go on an overnight field trip after the way he's been acting out.
I remember my trip to Springfield.
There's nothing more exciting than learning the inner-workings of a bicameral legislature.
Oh, my God, I learned something.
Okay, she's here.
Tour bus just pulled up out front.
Everybody hide! Oh, wait.
She's lugging a bunch of bags, a guitar, and an amp.
Shouldn't we help her? No! You'll ruin the surprise! Hello?! Uh H-Hi.
Is anybody there? I could use some help here! Oh, my God.
You You locked the door?! You knew I was coming home today! I can smell Dan's Hai Karate from out here! I know he's in there! Son of a bitch! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Welcome home! Wasn't that fun?! - I missed you so much, baby.
- Mm.
Oh, is that what Nashville smells like? Hey.
I got a little sweaty.
10 musicians on a bus, I'm the only one who change a tire.
Put down your sitar.
Learn some life skills.
Oh, thanks for all this.
It's great to be home.
And because I love you so much, I won't hug you until I take a shower.
Oh, sorry.
Mary's here because DJ's away on business, and some mean girl called her "fuzzy legs," so she's been in the shower, hackin' away for the last half-hour.
That's sweet.
I remember when I cared enough to shave my legs.
I like your hairy legs.
It makes me think I'm married to - a devil-may-care French woman.
- Oh.
And, you know, your ear hair makes me think of the Gardens of Versailles.
Oh-ho-ho! Well, Mary might be a while, so let's, uh, microwave some water, and you can hit your hot spots in the sink.
Uh, you know, as much as I'd love to just take my shirt off and bathe in front of you all why don't I just have a cup of coffee? Yeah.
Oh, let me get it.
You must be exhausted.
Oh, thanks.
So, uh, what did I miss around here? Well, you already heard the big news about Mary's legs.
Uh, only other thing is, uh, Becky and I are moving out.
What a lovely homecoming gift.
Uh, wow.
Really? You aren't even gonna pretend to miss us? You want me to pretend? Would that help? It'd help me.
I'm fragile.
I'm devastated.
You girls must be so excited, striking out on your own in your 40s.
Yeah, but we are a little concerned about leaving Dad.
Oh, you don't have to worry about him.
I'll walk him, I'll feed him twice a day, and at night, I'll make sure he's in his crate so he doesn't chew up my slippers.
There's probably a few things about living with Dan you might not know.
What are you talking about? I know how to take care of Dan.
Well, you may have stayed over, but you haven't lived with him.
It's like going to the zoo.
There's what you see when you walk past a majestic old lion's den, but what you don't see is the guy in the back sticking a pill up a goat's head and lobbing it over the fence.
I've, uh, written down the important stuff.
For example, don't let him over-salt the food.
He's having dinner tonight, not preserving it for the winter.
And don't let him take his meds with beer.
He'll fight you, but you gotta stand your ground.
And make sure they're his meds.
Last week, I caught him taking a couple of Good & Plenty's instead of his statins.
What is it? Oh, my God.
What's happening? Somebody just got shot at Lanford Woods Mall.
No! That's where Emilio took Beverly Rose.
It's a very chaotic scene here at the Lanford Woods Mall.
Police have told anyone inside to shelter in place while they continue to search for the suspect.
What is up with all the police in the neighborhood? Somebody got shot at the mall.
We're probably a staging area.
Emilio's not answering.
I'm going down there.
- Oh, I'll go with you.
- No, no! The cops won't let you near the place, Dan.
I'm still in touch with a couple of friends on the force.
I'll go.
Maybe I can get Becky through.
Oh, my God.
This is crazy.
It's like it happens every day.
It does happen every day.
Lanford Police! Please remain indoors! Do not leave your house! I repeat Do not leave your house! Well, that can't be good.
- We have to stay inside.
- No, I need to go down there! - Becky! - I have to see if Beverly Rose is okay! They're They're locking up the neighborhood.
They only do that if they think the suspect is in the area.
We can't be out there.
H-Hey, I-I thought he was at the mall.
Now he's somewhere around here? Welcome home, right? Emilio?! Oh, my God! Are you okay?! Yes.
Everything's okay.
I-I'm sorry I didn't call sooner.
We We had to hide in the mall restroom until the police told us it was safe to come out.
They made us turn off our phones so we wouldn't make any noise.
Let me talk to Beverly Rose.
Thank God they're okay.
What's going on outside? I want to see.
No, Mary, not right now.
There's, uh, some trouble at the mall, and the police are looking for the bad guy.
Did somebody shoot somebody? Yes, but we are safe here, so you do not need to be afraid.
I'm not afraid.
We do a drill like this at school every day.
Ben, put a chair in front of the door.
Everybody stay away from the windows.
I'm going upstairs to get my checklist.
With all the police around, the guy's probably nowhere near us.
But if it makes Mary feel better to be in control, let's just do it.
Well, I'll tell you what It really sucks that kids even know how to do this.
There's no place they can go where they feel safe anymore.
Yeah, no kidding.
I wouldn't want to be a kid these days, with the COVID and online bullying, now random shootings.
We used to go out in the mornings and not come back 'til the night when the street lights came on.
Our parents didn't even know where we were, and everybody liked it that way.
What are you talking about? Being a kid is still easy.
You just have to accept that everything sucks, and you can't do anything about it.
Harris, that's awful.
Don't you think that there's young people out there who who are trying to change things? Yeah, and they're a bunch of suckers.
Oh, there's my little DNA.
Speaking of DNA, I'm actually relieved that Mark went to the state capitol now.
Yeah, 'cause no angry mob ever storms a capitol.
Ben! Read the room! Why can't the cops find this guy? It's not that easy.
Crime's up everywhere.
They're probably spread pretty thin.
I want to hear this part.
Oh, it's too loud.
It sounds like the helicopter's right over our house.
- Okay, fine.
- No, it is.
That's our street.
God, that is so embarrassing.
One of our hillbilly neighbors patched their roof with a garbage bag held down by bricks.
Well, you're right about the hillbilly part.
That's our house.
That's how you fixed the hole in our roof?! There was a second hole, and there was only one scenario where it could bite me in the ass, and you're looking at it.
Well, at least he's not on our block.
They're moving away.
Look at all the police outside that house.
That's on Lennox, next to St.
Hey, that's the McNolty house, right? That's only like a block and a half away from here.
Maybe he's, like, hiding in the backyard.
Oh, man.
I hope he didn't bust in and he's holding people hostage in there.
Again? Were you this clueless when I was dating you? Yeah, I think I was.
Dan, I know I wasn't here, but you really should've talked to me first.
This waterbed is not staying.
Okay, I'll give the bed a chance.
I'm sorry.
I didn't think.
I should've warned you I was getting this out.
You really think you're gonna need it? I hope not.
Where are Beverly Rose and Emilio? They can't get through the police line, so they're staying at Emilio's.
It's safer there.
Becky, look.
They're showing a picture of the shooter.
It's James McNolty.
Not James.
He was always nice to me, he always said, "Hi," he shoveled people's walkways.
I went to school with him.
He had issues, but we all do.
There are other kids I would've expected to go off before him.
Aw, man, the McNolty kid's the shooter? He used to deliver our paper.
I want to hear this.
Is that a gun?! What the hell, Grandpa?! You still have that thing? Okay, I want it out of here now.
He's a block and a half away.
He jumps a fence, he's looking for a place to hide, he comes through that door, I'm gonna be ready.
Ready for what, Dad? You got some kind of fantasy of a shootout in the living room? What if somebody breaks in while you're sleeping? You gonna sleep with the gun, too? Don't worry.
I'll have that lockbox open, and I'll be shooting before your father even stops snoring.
Are you insane? We're the ones wandering around the house in the middle of the night.
You got a better chance of shooting one of us than anybody else.
Just get rid of the gun! Hey, everybody! Mary's here.
Uh, why don't we turn off the TV? No, wait.
Hold on.
Hold Oh, it's almost over.
He's coming out with his hands up.
Oh, thank God.
Damn, no.
He's reaching for something.
He's got a gun.
Is he dead? It's okay, honey.
It's all over.
I'm reading an article about the shootings.
Did you know we live in a "rapidly decaying suburb"? Ooh! We're a "suburb"! Really, Dan? I just watched a kid get shot yesterday.
You know, I saw the same thing myself, but I still have to go to work today, put a smile on my face, and help the customers find the right drill bit.
So if I have to joke around a little to get through today, let me have that.
Good morning, everybody.
There's my little princess! Come on, Dad.
I'm in my 40s.
It's embarrassing.
He means me, Mommy.
I know, sweetie.
S-So, at the end of this, do you just dip her face in the bowl, or what? What's the problem? I love holding my baby.
Honey, you haven't put her down since Emilio brought her home last night.
It just happened.
Give me a break.
Mommy, I want to get down.
I have to go potty.
Alone this time.
Leave the door open.
The poop fairies have to let me know if you deserve a gold star.
When I leave the door open, I get yelled at.
Where's my gold star? Hey.
You doing okay? Um, I didn't sleep, so I'm awake, and I'm looking at my phone, and it's everywhere.
Mommy, I couldn't go.
Can I watch TV? Too much fiber, not enough fiber.
I can't handle this.
Beverly Rose, your papa's here.
Hey, honey.
We had a real adventure yesterday, didn't we? What's going on? Did you forget? I'm taking her to Phoebe's birthday party.
That's today? Okay, the roof's fixed.
Now we just got to get that helicopter back overhead so we can show off my impeccable craftsmanship.
One of you needs to commit a crime.
I'm glad you didn't get shot, buddy.
Yeah, me, too.
Are you ready to go to the party? Yes! I don't think it's a good idea to go to Phoebe's party, honey.
That's not fair.
I wanna go.
You're gonna go, mija.
Come on, Beverly Rose, let's go find something in the house that we don't want and you can give to your little friend.
I know you're worried, but I think it'd be good for her to see her friends.
But she's still traumatized from yesterday.
Becky, she's okay.
I never let her know what was going on.
I think you might be the one who's traumatized.
Of course I am.
Yesterday, I saw my daughter dead in my mind.
You were there, you knew what was going on.
I was here, powerless.
I never want to feel that way again.
I don't, either.
I'll never forget hiding in that bathroom, listening for footsteps, praying that it was the police, not the shooter.
We need to deal with our fear and not keep her from having a childhood.
I know, but the idea of being away from Beverly Rose terrifies me.
And I can't drink.
That is so not fair for a parent.
The police sent me an e-mail.
The city set up free trauma counseling at the rec center.
They also have free aqua-robics classes, but that's not because of the shooting That's any time.
Beverly Rose, let's go! You're gonna be late for the party.
We're bringing Phoebe an ashtray! Bye, honey! Have fun.
Don't worry about Mommy.
Well, it was either that or your dad's lumbar pillow.
Why aren't you dressed for school? We're gonna be late.
I don't want to go to school.
Look, I get it.
What you saw was something that nobody should ever have to see.
We can be a little late today.
Why don't we talk about it? I saw them kill James.
I know he did something terrible, but I feel bad for him.
And I feel bad for the person at the mall.
They were just shopping, and they got shot.
I know.
Yeah, I mean, it's terrible when anybody gets killed.
Sometimes things happen and they don't make sense.
But if I leave the house, that could happen to me, right? No.
You are going to be perfectly safe.
How do you know that? Because I just know.
I can tell when you're lying.
I'm not going to school.
Is Mary gonna join us for dinner? No.
I'm gonna give her some space and bring her a plate.
Is she going to school tomorrow? No.
And I feel horrible for lying to her.
She asked me if she was gonna be safe, and I said yes, because what else can you say? But, you know, I don't know.
Well, she can't keep missing school.
What are you gonna do? I don't know.
I mean, I tried to get her in to see the school psychologist This is gonna blow you away.
Our school district has one psychologist for 1,500 students.
Well, maybe some of those students will grow up to be psychologists.
I mean, it's ridiculous.
The next time the psychologist is scheduled to be at Mary's school is two weeks from Tuesday.
How am I supposed to make her feel safe in the meantime? Well, whatever you do, don't send her to the rec center.
There was a line around the block to see three counselors.
They say it's free, but I missed four hours of work, and I never got to see anybody.
Don't even.
I am not the one.
Dad, where's the gun? Locked safely away.
I got a curious 3-year-old who gets into everything.
I gotta know where it is.
It's in a drawer in a lockbox with a combination that nobody knows but me.
Oh, come on, Dan.
Everybody in Chicago has the same combo.
It's the year the Bears won the Super Bowl.
Well, now I have to change all my passwords.
But don't worry There's no way anybody's getting near that gun.
Got your money.
What's that for? - I sold your gun.
- You what?! Took your gun to the police station, and they gave me that cash for it.
- Wow.
- Yeah.
Nice knowing you.
What happened to the whole, "the world's screwed and there's nothing you can do about it"? The world is screwed.
But when something like this happens in your backyard, you have two choices.
I can either hide and bitch like a little punk or get up off my ass and do something like a boss.
You guys Oh, Jackie, it's gonna be okay.
They're gonna work it out.
No, it's not It's It's just so overwhelming when I see a young person doing something good in this world, because there's so much violence and there's so much misery.
And when I'm on my phone, it It's just everywhere.
They They don't even let you get up off the ground.
Hey, exactly how much of this stuff are you watching every night? I don't Well, according to my phone, my screen time is like around nine hours a day.
You're doom-scrolling every night.
No wonder you're a raw nerve all the time.
Watch a cat wrestle a monkey every once in a while.
You're a mess.
You shouldn't be alone.
You're sleeping here tonight.
Yeah, okay, thanks.
I wi I'm gonna I'm gonna go make up the couch.
And I just want to say how sweet it is Just go.
that you're all so understanding is what I Go.
Now we talk.
You had no right to take my property.
Dad, we don't need an argument right now.
No, no, no.
This isn't enough.
I just want to tell Harris that she is gonna make up the difference.
Now, I don't agree with what you did, but I get why you did it.
Okay, well, I'm glad you finally understand Harris, you're juggling chainsaws here.
Just take the limbs you still have and walk away.
Beverly Rose, should I go all-in? Yes.
Ah! You set me up! Who are you working with?! Who wants apple pie? - Finally.
- Me! I'll have a piece.
- Hey! - Hey, Mary! Come over here.
I'll share my sleeping bag with you.
- This is great.
- You feel better? Maybe a little.
I like that we're all together.
Me, too.
Hey, doom-scroller, hand it over.
Yeah, I got so much tequila in me, I don't even know what I'm looking at anyway.
A sleepover was a really good idea.
What are we gonna do tomorrow? We'll deal with tomorrow tomorrow.
- Hi.
- Hey, there, Dan.
Libby Lewis.
We live about a block and a half down.
How you doing? Hi, Libby.
We're doing okay.
- Been a rough couple days.
- Yeah.
- How you doing? - Getting by.
We're going around the neighborhood collecting funds for the family of the mall victim.
I have a dollar.
You know, it just so happens, Libby, I got some extra cash.
Here you go.
Thank you.
Okay, cough it up.
Uh, I only have a twenty.
Oh, uh Oh, look a that Another twenty.
'Cause it's the right thing to do.

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