The Crown (2016) s05e10 Episode Script
Decommissioned
1
- I think I've found it.
- What?
The perfect house.
Where?
Malibu.
How can it be perfect
if it's so far from home?
Because Los Angeles is my home now.
How much?
Uh, it's less expensive
than the last place I told you about.
But I have to put down a deposit today,
or I will lose it to Michael Douglas.
Who?
Come on, Baba. The actor.
He wants it too so we have to move fast.
It really is perfect.
And, speaking of perfection,
there's someone I'd like you to meet.
A girl.
For me?
No.
This one's for me. She's special.
If I bring her to London next week,
would you have time to meet her?
Sure.
Will you
send the plane?
Are you crazy? To Los Angeles?
That's 50 thousand just in gas.
Trust me.
She's worth it.
Welcome to
Monarchy, the Nation Decides,
the biggest live debate
ever staged on television.
Good evening. There's only one thing
the country's been talking about,
and that's this program and your role
in the future of the monarchy.
These two telephone numbers
will stay on screen throughout the program
as we ask, do you want a monarchy?
Don't forget, there are 14,000 lines open,
and they'll be open
all through News at Ten.
The real reason
why this program's on
is because we're facing
the prospect of Charles III.
He is gonna divide this country
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
choose their next head of state.
The overall public feeling is that
You have voted "no'" for a monarchy.
The fact is that the cost of
the House of Windsor compared to the cost
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
is astronomical.
Let the Windsors
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
while we choose our own head of state
You have voted "no"
"no"
You have voted "no"
- Are they value for money?
- My contention is this
"no"
drab country without the color
the royal family bring to it.
Because the people of this country
want to have the freedom
to be citizens rather than subjects.
You have voted "no"
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
If you want to see
a King Charles and a Queen Camilla
You have voted "no"
If you don't,
then please hold up a red card.
It looks like "no."
Have royal scandals
damaged the country's reputation?
- An overwhelming majority says "yes."
- "no'" for a monarchy.
In our final show of voting cards,
we want our audience to tell us,
if you want a monarchy
You have voted "no"
If you don't,
then please use the red card.
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Lilibet ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Well done.
Oh, I did that in one puff!
Wish! Wish!
- Is this from you?
- Yes. It's from me.
- What are they?
- What is it?
Oh, look. Just what I need!
Well, I swear by them, Lilibet.
They're very handy.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Show me.
It's one of mine. It's, um
It's Huna Mill, near John O'Groats.
- Yes.
- It's good. Very good.
- Thank you.
- Marvelous.
I saved the best till last, Mummy.
Oh.
- This'll be good.
- Let's take that off.
Oh, what is this?
Oh, it's a
Look, you press this. Look.
Here's a little song I wrote ♪
You might want to sing it
Note for note ♪
- That's terribly funny.
- It's ingenious.
- You like it?
- Be happy ♪
Oh, that is absolutely marvelous.
You should
put it above your bed.
You always
buy the best presents.
- Very good. Lovely, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Win anything this week?
- Not a thing.
I don't suppose any of you
watched that program the other night?
The monarchy debate?
God, it was awful.
I'm afraid I went to bed.
I started, and then when I saw it was
going in our favor, I switched it off.
In our favor?
I'm not sure I saw it that way.
Is the royal family value for money?
More than half said "no."
Can you name
three useful things the royals do?
83% couldn't.
Do you want a referendum
to decide the future of the monarchy?
70% said "yes."
Does anyone want King Charles III?
100% said "no."
Oh, shame,
you naughty boys.
Now, with a general election
in its wake
- What are the polls predicting?
- A landslide.
For Mr. Blair and the Labour Party.
So I think we can safely say
that wholesale change is afoot.
Mmm. Speaking of wholesale change,
what are we going to do about Hong Kong?
The Great Chinese Takeaway?
- Granny.
- She didn't just say that.
Why? Hong Kong's ours.
The Chinese are taking it away.
Taking it back.
Philip and I are due to be in Canada
on the day of the handover.
They're suggesting
Charles go to Hong Kong in our place.
Hong Kong is clearly
the more significant occasion.
Shouldn't you be there? As sovereign?
A monarch should never attend celebrations
when a colony cuts ties.
It's undignified.
Like attending the wedding
of someone you loved
and trying to look happy for them.
Been there, done that.
You go to Canada, darling.
Let Charles do Hong Kong.
Hi!
Oh my God!
Okay?
Time keeps on slippin' ♪
Kelly, meet G4.
G4, meet Kelly.
Said I wanna fly like an eagle ♪
Into the sea ♪
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me ♪
I wanna fly ♪
You're telling me
you had no idea your husband
was robbing a bank at that time?
No. I'm telling you
I was probably out shopping or, um,
having lunch.
You know, the things women like me do.
Don't be frightened to play
that last line a little sexier. Try again.
Okay.
No.
I told you.
I was probably out shopping
or having lunch.
You know
the things women like me do.
Mrs. Farnham, I have no idea
what women like you do.
But your husband's looking at 15 years.
Wait. How do I feel about that?
She's angry.
Sick of being betrayed.
- The anger is all in her next line.
- Okay.
I am tired of being unwanted!
Someone as gorgeous as you
could never be unwanted.
Wait, that's not the line.
I just went off script.
But it's how he truly feels.
The character?
Or you?
We definitely made the right choice
with these architects.
Really think your dad'll pay for it?
I hope so.
But he can be hard to predict.
What will make the difference?
If he likes you.
Well, that's pressure.
But he will like you.
What's not to like?
You said he likes Scandi girls.
You could be Scandinavian.
I'm from Kentucky.
You could.
They're asking for three days,
including travel.
Hong Kong's a long way to go
for three days.
Unless Mrs. Parker Bowles and I combine it
with a short holiday afterwards.
On Britannia.
Which is her final voyage.
We could invite some friends.
Leave it with me, sir.
Might it not also be an opportunity
for me to meet with Mr. Blair?
Why would he be in Hong Kong?
- As British prime minister.
- He's got to win the election first.
I know, but surely that's just a question
of how big his majority will be.
True.
And I've always felt there could be
a productive alliance there.
Two men of a similar age.
Both committed and impatient for change.
I'll speak to his people.
Table Four. Two lobster salads,
one saddle of lamb, one chicken suprême.
Yes, Chef!
Right, service, please. Table 16!
- Sir. Madam.
- Thank you.
- Salmon.
- Lovely. Thank you.
And steak.
So,
what do you think?
She's cute.
Yes, she is.
Isn't it enough just to fuck her?
What do you want me to say?
Maybe
how happy you are for me?
But I'm not happy for you or for me.
Is it a bad sign
they're speaking Arabic to each other?
No, they always do that.
Does it bother you?
I mean, it's a bit rude.
You get used to it.
Do you know her family?
Of course. They're good people.
But do they have money?
Are they our equals?
We have to be careful.
Do you speak Arabic?
At my age, it's hard.
And anyway, most of the time,
you don't need to speak the language
to know what they're saying.
And this Maliba house?
Malibu.
Malibu, Maliba
Ten million dollars.
Let me guess. She chose it?
Actually, we both chose it.
And what's the deal
with all the sanitizing?
Oh, you get used to that too.
But I like clean hands on a man.
Don't you?
And I will pay you back every cent.
How?
With money I will earn.
With movies I will make.
I'll win you another Oscar.
You'll see.
Don't make me laugh.
Recently, your company is a joke.
Flop after flop, all bankrolled by me.
I offer you other jobs.
Directorships, serious things.
And each time, you let me down.
The one thing you have always had
a talent for is women.
The one area where I think,
"He might still hit the jackpot."
And you bring home a swimwear model,
expecting it to make me happy!
I think the point is
she will make me happy.
Making your father happy
should make you happy.
Bringing honor to the name "Fayed"
should make you happy.
You two having a nice chat?
We are.
You okay, baby?
You are right
"Baby."
1974 was the last time they
won an election, and it's a vast majority.
Nothing can take away
the magnitude of the Labour victory.
They got four million more votes
than the Conservatives.
This is Tony Blair's hour.
And everyone knows it.
Thank you. All right.
Well, a new dawn has broken,
has it not?
We have been elected as New Labour,
and we will govern as New Labour.
And as we head into the millennium,
we have the opportunity to change Britain.
It is strange, the
the human capacity for self-deception.
Despite all the polls,
I still felt I had a chance of winning.
Instead, my party has just suffered
its worst defeat in memory.
I do hope the history books
will judge my premiership
rather more kindly
than the electorate has.
Whatever the historians make of it,
you will always rank highly
in my personal table of prime ministers.
Very highly.
I shall miss your calm,
forthright, dependable presence.
And I'm especially grateful to you
for your help with the Waleses.
I am still frustrated I was never able
to resolve the issue of the royal yacht.
And I gather the Labour Party is
still committed to decommissioning her.
Yes.
It is just possible
that the scale of his victory
will make Mr. Blair magnanimous,
and I could try
having a word through back channels,
and I might be able to persuade
his administration to keep her after all.
That would mean the world to me.
What do you make of him?
Mr. Blair?
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
Well, the oft-touted criticism
is that his leadership style is
a triumph of image over substance.
Much attention is also paid to his age.
Mmm. Forty-three, I checked.
The youngest prime minister
since Lord Liverpool in 1812.
Whatever the criticisms,
there's no denying his achievements.
He's broken the stranglehold
the unions had over his party
and made Labour electable again,
which is no mean feat.
And he has caught the mood of the country,
in a way that I clearly failed to do.
Let's see.
True statesmanship is not confined
to a time in public office.
And you're still a young man too.
Your Majesty.
One moment, darling.
Congratulations.
Thank you, John.
It's a funny old business.
One day, you're prime minister,
arguably the most
Well, the second-most
important person in the country,
and the next, you lose your job, your car,
and you're evicted from your home.
All before lunch.
I left a note for you on, uh
on your desk.
Good luck.
The prime minister, Your Majesty.
- Your Majesty.
- Prime Minister.
The new prime minister
came to see me today.
So, how are you settling in?
After some polite chit-chat,
I brought up the Royal Yacht Britannia,
hoping for a last-minute reprieve,
and he offered a new idea.
A brand-new yacht,
but not paid for by the government.
- What?!
- How, then?
By private finance.
At a cost of some £65 million.
Which means that
whichever individual or company
pays for it would own the yacht
and lease it back to the government
whenever the royal family
required its use.
What, like a rental?
Hmm, like Avis.
Actually, it's not that unusual.
In the modern, commercial world,
that's what they do
for shipping containers and oil tankers.
Britannia isn't a shipping container.
She's a royal yacht
and a symbolic representation
of your mother.
So, what are they suggesting?
That "HMY Britannia
sponsored by McVities Biscuits"
be emblazoned on the side?
They're suggesting
the yacht would no longer be Britannia.
She would have a new name.
Go on.
New Britain.
I rather like it.
Wait, wasn't that
Blair's political slogan?
- Yes.
- Oh, come on.
Next they'll want his grinning face
on the side with a big red rosette.
I said if those were
the terms of the royal yacht's existence,
I would sooner it be decommissioned.
So that's the decision.
Charles' trip to Hong Kong
will be her last official trip.
After 43 years of service
and more than a million nautical miles
around the globe
the royal yacht is to be retired.
It was the first time
I've seen it so clearly.
The toll that the past few years
have taken on her.
And her distress or her grief,
it was not for the royal yacht,
nor her precious memories.
It was for herself.
And the institution she represents.
Like she felt
she was being decommissioned.
In which case, you must be ready, sir.
And the country must start
to prepare for you as the future.
To that end,
I had a look at the itinerary,
and I've managed to find some time
for you to meet with the prime minister
one-on-one on the royal yacht.
I also identified one or two places
in the speech
that Buckingham Palace has sent for you
to read out at the farewell ceremony,
just to tweak it a bit.
Just to give it a bit more of your voice.
The only thing
I haven't been able to change is, um
business class seats.
The politicians,
Foreign Secretary Robin Cook,
former foreign secretary Douglas Hurd,
and former prime minister Edward Heath,
are all going first class.
And the heir to the throne is in business?
Afraid so.
Doesn't that tell you everything?
You're going to have to be very brave.
But I promise you, you'll survive.
- I'll talk to him.
- I'm not gonna ask you.
There you are.
I mean, the excitement is being
in a position to actually do this stuff.
Prince Charles flew into Hong Kong today
as the final countdown
to the handover begins.
The foreign secretary, Robin Cook,
criticized China's plans
to send in troops
hours after the handover.
Dodi called me today.
To tell me he paid a deposit
on the house in Malibu.
Good.
Be happy for him.
But what if
he actually proposes to this girl?
Then we will give him
a magnificent wedding.
In Paris.
With the reception at the Ritz.
Or in Scotland. In your castle.
My firstborn son marrying a model.
That's all I was.
You were so much more than a model.
You were a socialite.
I'm feeling a bit gloomy this evening.
I don't want to spoil your night.
No, you will spoil it only by not coming.
Just one course.
Twenty minutes.
- All right. All right.
- Hmm? Hmm?
I thought after the divorce,
I'd be this happy, smiley thing again,
but I'm more glum than ever.
It's Camilla's 50th birthday coming up.
Charles wants to throw her
a big party at Highgrove.
I don't want to be
in the country for that.
Where to go?
I had plans to take the boys to America
for a summer holiday,
but that was shut down
for security reasons, so
Why don't you come to Saint-Tropez
with us?
Please.
No, I wouldn't inflict all this on you.
Clear off. Get out!
Go on, get out of here!
Clear off. Get out of here.
My bodyguards are all special forces,
so you will be fine.
For the boys,
there will be speedboats and jet skis
and movies and burgers and french fries.
For you, there will be sunshine
and shopping
and a big, new yacht.
And a helicopter and a plane
to get you there.
You will think
it's all very Egyptian and vulgar.
But you will love it!
So?
Promise me you will think about it?
Hmm?
Mm-hmm.
Your Excellency, Prime Minister,
ladies and gentlemen,
I've been asked by Her Majesty the Queen
to read the following message.
Five hours from now,
the Union Flag will be lowered.
The flag of China will fly over Hong Kong,
and more than a century and a half
of British administration
will have come to an end.
And now the people of Hong Kong
can look to a new future.
As the old certainties give way,
I feel hopeful
Hong Kong's unique character and spirit
will be a lesson to the world
of independence and progress.
This strong sense of identity
this deep commitment
to its own way of doing things,
has been the engine
of Hong Kong's spectacular success.
By preserving these liberties,
we are not merely protecting
a people's way of life.
We are inviting the world
to learn from their example.
I wish you all a successful transition,
and a prosperous and peaceful future.
The prime minister,
Your Royal Highness.
Prime Minister, I'm so grateful to you
for making the time.
Your Royal Highness.
Look at you.
The first prime minister young enough
to be the Queen's son.
Winston Churchill,
who sat in that armchair
a great many times,
was old enough to be her grandfather.
Anthony Eden, Harold Macmillan,
her father.
Wilson and Heath, her husbands.
Mrs. Thatcher, her twin sister.
And you, her son.
Which I suppose,
by extension, would make us
- Brothers.
- Yes.
Two men of the same age and generation.
And, hopefully, of a similar mindset.
And I want to say, if this meeting is
about the decommissioning of the yacht,
I want you to know, especially in light
of having been shown around her today,
how bad I feel.
Why?
- Well, I
- Please.
I suppose I wasn't prepared for
how striking she'd be up close.
Or how remarkable
the sense of tradition is
that you get aboard her or
I suppose it almost
makes one regret the decision.
To get rid of her? Really?
And here am I, thinking the opposite.
The very thing
that has brought us to Hong Kong
has made clear that
there's no point clinging to the past.
We must be excited by the future.
And what an example you've set
with your party.
You've taken a rusty,
old socialist tractor
and turned it into
a gleaming, modern sports car.
- And look how the public has responded.
- I hope so.
I probably shouldn't say this, but
I think the royal family needs
a similar renovation.
Not just in terms of size and cost,
though certainly those things, too, but
also in terms of attitudes.
My parents can be
a little hidebound in their ideas
about, for example,
how I should be permitted to live.
Divorces and second marriages
these things exist.
And the reality for many people today.
You understand that.
You understand the public mood
better than anyone.
Don't you think they'd prefer to see
a happy, remarried Prince of Wales,
rather than an unhappy, unmarried one?
It was pretty gobsmacking
what he was doing.
Effectively briefing against
his own mother.
Mmm.
But I have some sympathy with him.
Can't be much fun
being the Prince of Wales
if you're an impressive man.
Is he?
Oh yes, with energy and a brain.
And a conscience and a beating heart
and a genuine desire to engage
and make a difference.
Same with this yacht.
Magnificent though she is, the fact is,
she's done over a million miles.
Her glories belong to the past.
She's not fit for purpose today.
Of course, I have enormous respect
for the people who advise the Queen,
but, well, let's be honest,
there's a lot of gray hair there.
And they do display
a certain tone deafness at times.
If we want to preserve
what's best about the Crown,
then two, modern, forward-thinking men
might need to work together
to help protect
well, not only the monarchy's future, but
as heir to the throne, my future too.
To be stuck in a system
that wants you to be nothing. No one.
Without a voice.
"and the leader of the bushmen
attached himself to this man
as if it was his natural right,
but soon a remarkable change set in."
That is so good.
It would be like being
trapped for eternity in opposition.
I mean, we had 18 years.
That was bad enough.
He's already had 50.
It can't be easy
knowing your own mother has the final say
on who you can or can't marry.
Hmm.
Imagine if your mum had a veto over me.
She wouldn't have dared.
Hong Kong's new dawn
heralded a new military power today.
Troops of China's
People's Liberation Army, the PLA,
trundled across the border
as a friendly invasion.
But it is the sight
of armored personnel carriers
that has stirred particular unease
in some quarters.
The Prince of Wales Barracks
on Hong Kong Island
was the British military headquarters
until midnight last night.
But no more.
Today, inscrutable Chinese sentries
came face to face with
Your Majesty.
struggling home
after a long and liquid night.
The PLA arrived
One or two bits and pieces, if I may.
The Princess of Wales has asked permission
to take the princes with her
on a holiday in the South of France,
as guests of Mohamed Al Fayed.
Should we go back with a "no"?
That would be my preference,
but it is Diana's turn
with the boys this year.
Which is what I'm told
divorced couples call "parenting."
So it's none of my business.
Ma'am.
Was that the bit?
I'm bracing myself for the pieces.
The Prince of Wales
Go on.
is believed to have granted
the prime minister a private audience
while in Hong Kong,
before heading off on a private holiday
with Mrs. Parker Bowles and some friends
on the royal yacht.
I've taken the liberty
of drafting a statement
clarifying that the holiday was
at the Prince's expense.
But that doesn't deal with
the private audience.
What do you think they discussed?
The ostensible subject was
the future of Britain in the region.
Will you ask the Prince of Wales to come
and see me as soon as he has a moment?
Ma'am.
And before she is decommissioned,
do you think I might be allowed to say
my own private farewell to Britannia?
Of course.
Let me arrange that.
Your Royal Highness.
The Prince of Wales, Your Majesty.
Mummy.
How was Canada?
Wonderful, thank you.
Not a spot of rain.
No, I'm afraid I got the rain.
Almost drowned out my speech.
My speech.
I hope it didn't spoil
your subsequent holiday
in the Where was it?
Uh, Manila and the Paracel Islands.
I must say,
I was surprised to hear of the trip.
And that you would use the royal yacht
as a place to conduct your affair
with Mrs. Parker Bowles.
My affair, Mummy? I'm an unmarried man.
Divorced man whose wife is still alive.
Are we really having this conversation?
Camilla and I are mature, willing adults.
- No doubting the "willing."
- Who make one another happy.
No doubting that either.
But isn't it time you asked yourself,
what good can ultimately come of it
when the public is so against it?
This is madness.
I tend to agree.
For years, Diana has
washed her dirty linen in public.
She's thrown endless grenades over
the Palace gates trying to blow us all up.
And throughout this,
Camilla has remained a model of
discretion and decency and dignity.
And yet you save
your most bitter condemnation for her.
The prime minister
Ah yes, the prime minister.
a young man who understands the public
better than anyone,
told me that what they want
is a happy heir to the throne
whose private life reflects the world
as they see it.
I don't want to get drawn on Mr. Blair
or whether he understands the people
better than me or not.
I'd say he does.
But I do want to make clear
that the only person in this family
to have a direct relationship
with the first minister is the sovereign.
- Which will one day be me.
- One day. But not yet.
When?
You should know the answer
better than anyone
because, God willing,
you will one day take the oath yourself.
This job is for life.
Let's hope there's still an institution
for me to take the oath for.
I don't think it's my behavior
that's threatening its survival.
Isn't it?
It hasn't been on my watch that there's
been a complete breakdown of authority,
that a program on national television's
made such a mockery of us.
The vote, as I understand it,
went comfortably in our favor.
Less in yours.
In Hong Kong,
I saw how easy it is to dispose of us.
Buildings renamed.
Your head removed from the stamps.
150 years of living under the Crown,
they couldn't have been shot of us
more quickly.
That's what happens when
we fail to move with the times.
You can't be blamed
for living a long life.
Thank you.
But you have to accept that your
your values were shaped by Queen Mary.
Yes. Proud of it.
Hers by Queen Victoria.
Proud of that too.
I'm just worried, Mummy, that
if we continue
to hold onto these Victorian notions
of how the monarchy should look,
how it should feel,
then the world will move on.
And those who come after you will be
will be left with nothing.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
I love you.
- I think I've found it.
- What?
The perfect house.
Where?
Malibu.
How can it be perfect
if it's so far from home?
Because Los Angeles is my home now.
How much?
Uh, it's less expensive
than the last place I told you about.
But I have to put down a deposit today,
or I will lose it to Michael Douglas.
Who?
Come on, Baba. The actor.
He wants it too so we have to move fast.
It really is perfect.
And, speaking of perfection,
there's someone I'd like you to meet.
A girl.
For me?
No.
This one's for me. She's special.
If I bring her to London next week,
would you have time to meet her?
Sure.
Will you
send the plane?
Are you crazy? To Los Angeles?
That's 50 thousand just in gas.
Trust me.
She's worth it.
Welcome to
Monarchy, the Nation Decides,
the biggest live debate
ever staged on television.
Good evening. There's only one thing
the country's been talking about,
and that's this program and your role
in the future of the monarchy.
These two telephone numbers
will stay on screen throughout the program
as we ask, do you want a monarchy?
Don't forget, there are 14,000 lines open,
and they'll be open
all through News at Ten.
The real reason
why this program's on
is because we're facing
the prospect of Charles III.
He is gonna divide this country
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
choose their next head of state.
The overall public feeling is that
You have voted "no'" for a monarchy.
The fact is that the cost of
the House of Windsor compared to the cost
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
is astronomical.
Let the Windsors
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
while we choose our own head of state
You have voted "no"
"no"
You have voted "no"
- Are they value for money?
- My contention is this
"no"
drab country without the color
the royal family bring to it.
Because the people of this country
want to have the freedom
to be citizens rather than subjects.
You have voted "no"
You have voted "no" for a monarchy.
If you want to see
a King Charles and a Queen Camilla
You have voted "no"
If you don't,
then please hold up a red card.
It looks like "no."
Have royal scandals
damaged the country's reputation?
- An overwhelming majority says "yes."
- "no'" for a monarchy.
In our final show of voting cards,
we want our audience to tell us,
if you want a monarchy
You have voted "no"
If you don't,
then please use the red card.
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Happy birthday, dear Lilibet ♪
Happy birthday to you ♪
Well done.
Oh, I did that in one puff!
Wish! Wish!
- Is this from you?
- Yes. It's from me.
- What are they?
- What is it?
Oh, look. Just what I need!
Well, I swear by them, Lilibet.
They're very handy.
- Oh.
- Ah.
Show me.
It's one of mine. It's, um
It's Huna Mill, near John O'Groats.
- Yes.
- It's good. Very good.
- Thank you.
- Marvelous.
I saved the best till last, Mummy.
Oh.
- This'll be good.
- Let's take that off.
Oh, what is this?
Oh, it's a
Look, you press this. Look.
Here's a little song I wrote ♪
You might want to sing it
Note for note ♪
- That's terribly funny.
- It's ingenious.
- You like it?
- Be happy ♪
Oh, that is absolutely marvelous.
You should
put it above your bed.
You always
buy the best presents.
- Very good. Lovely, isn't it?
- Yeah.
- Win anything this week?
- Not a thing.
I don't suppose any of you
watched that program the other night?
The monarchy debate?
God, it was awful.
I'm afraid I went to bed.
I started, and then when I saw it was
going in our favor, I switched it off.
In our favor?
I'm not sure I saw it that way.
Is the royal family value for money?
More than half said "no."
Can you name
three useful things the royals do?
83% couldn't.
Do you want a referendum
to decide the future of the monarchy?
70% said "yes."
Does anyone want King Charles III?
100% said "no."
Oh, shame,
you naughty boys.
Now, with a general election
in its wake
- What are the polls predicting?
- A landslide.
For Mr. Blair and the Labour Party.
So I think we can safely say
that wholesale change is afoot.
Mmm. Speaking of wholesale change,
what are we going to do about Hong Kong?
The Great Chinese Takeaway?
- Granny.
- She didn't just say that.
Why? Hong Kong's ours.
The Chinese are taking it away.
Taking it back.
Philip and I are due to be in Canada
on the day of the handover.
They're suggesting
Charles go to Hong Kong in our place.
Hong Kong is clearly
the more significant occasion.
Shouldn't you be there? As sovereign?
A monarch should never attend celebrations
when a colony cuts ties.
It's undignified.
Like attending the wedding
of someone you loved
and trying to look happy for them.
Been there, done that.
You go to Canada, darling.
Let Charles do Hong Kong.
Hi!
Oh my God!
Okay?
Time keeps on slippin' ♪
Kelly, meet G4.
G4, meet Kelly.
Said I wanna fly like an eagle ♪
Into the sea ♪
Fly like an eagle
Let my spirit carry me ♪
I wanna fly ♪
You're telling me
you had no idea your husband
was robbing a bank at that time?
No. I'm telling you
I was probably out shopping or, um,
having lunch.
You know, the things women like me do.
Don't be frightened to play
that last line a little sexier. Try again.
Okay.
No.
I told you.
I was probably out shopping
or having lunch.
You know
the things women like me do.
Mrs. Farnham, I have no idea
what women like you do.
But your husband's looking at 15 years.
Wait. How do I feel about that?
She's angry.
Sick of being betrayed.
- The anger is all in her next line.
- Okay.
I am tired of being unwanted!
Someone as gorgeous as you
could never be unwanted.
Wait, that's not the line.
I just went off script.
But it's how he truly feels.
The character?
Or you?
We definitely made the right choice
with these architects.
Really think your dad'll pay for it?
I hope so.
But he can be hard to predict.
What will make the difference?
If he likes you.
Well, that's pressure.
But he will like you.
What's not to like?
You said he likes Scandi girls.
You could be Scandinavian.
I'm from Kentucky.
You could.
They're asking for three days,
including travel.
Hong Kong's a long way to go
for three days.
Unless Mrs. Parker Bowles and I combine it
with a short holiday afterwards.
On Britannia.
Which is her final voyage.
We could invite some friends.
Leave it with me, sir.
Might it not also be an opportunity
for me to meet with Mr. Blair?
Why would he be in Hong Kong?
- As British prime minister.
- He's got to win the election first.
I know, but surely that's just a question
of how big his majority will be.
True.
And I've always felt there could be
a productive alliance there.
Two men of a similar age.
Both committed and impatient for change.
I'll speak to his people.
Table Four. Two lobster salads,
one saddle of lamb, one chicken suprême.
Yes, Chef!
Right, service, please. Table 16!
- Sir. Madam.
- Thank you.
- Salmon.
- Lovely. Thank you.
And steak.
So,
what do you think?
She's cute.
Yes, she is.
Isn't it enough just to fuck her?
What do you want me to say?
Maybe
how happy you are for me?
But I'm not happy for you or for me.
Is it a bad sign
they're speaking Arabic to each other?
No, they always do that.
Does it bother you?
I mean, it's a bit rude.
You get used to it.
Do you know her family?
Of course. They're good people.
But do they have money?
Are they our equals?
We have to be careful.
Do you speak Arabic?
At my age, it's hard.
And anyway, most of the time,
you don't need to speak the language
to know what they're saying.
And this Maliba house?
Malibu.
Malibu, Maliba
Ten million dollars.
Let me guess. She chose it?
Actually, we both chose it.
And what's the deal
with all the sanitizing?
Oh, you get used to that too.
But I like clean hands on a man.
Don't you?
And I will pay you back every cent.
How?
With money I will earn.
With movies I will make.
I'll win you another Oscar.
You'll see.
Don't make me laugh.
Recently, your company is a joke.
Flop after flop, all bankrolled by me.
I offer you other jobs.
Directorships, serious things.
And each time, you let me down.
The one thing you have always had
a talent for is women.
The one area where I think,
"He might still hit the jackpot."
And you bring home a swimwear model,
expecting it to make me happy!
I think the point is
she will make me happy.
Making your father happy
should make you happy.
Bringing honor to the name "Fayed"
should make you happy.
You two having a nice chat?
We are.
You okay, baby?
You are right
"Baby."
1974 was the last time they
won an election, and it's a vast majority.
Nothing can take away
the magnitude of the Labour victory.
They got four million more votes
than the Conservatives.
This is Tony Blair's hour.
And everyone knows it.
Thank you. All right.
Well, a new dawn has broken,
has it not?
We have been elected as New Labour,
and we will govern as New Labour.
And as we head into the millennium,
we have the opportunity to change Britain.
It is strange, the
the human capacity for self-deception.
Despite all the polls,
I still felt I had a chance of winning.
Instead, my party has just suffered
its worst defeat in memory.
I do hope the history books
will judge my premiership
rather more kindly
than the electorate has.
Whatever the historians make of it,
you will always rank highly
in my personal table of prime ministers.
Very highly.
I shall miss your calm,
forthright, dependable presence.
And I'm especially grateful to you
for your help with the Waleses.
I am still frustrated I was never able
to resolve the issue of the royal yacht.
And I gather the Labour Party is
still committed to decommissioning her.
Yes.
It is just possible
that the scale of his victory
will make Mr. Blair magnanimous,
and I could try
having a word through back channels,
and I might be able to persuade
his administration to keep her after all.
That would mean the world to me.
What do you make of him?
Mr. Blair?
Oh, I shouldn't have done that.
Well, the oft-touted criticism
is that his leadership style is
a triumph of image over substance.
Much attention is also paid to his age.
Mmm. Forty-three, I checked.
The youngest prime minister
since Lord Liverpool in 1812.
Whatever the criticisms,
there's no denying his achievements.
He's broken the stranglehold
the unions had over his party
and made Labour electable again,
which is no mean feat.
And he has caught the mood of the country,
in a way that I clearly failed to do.
Let's see.
True statesmanship is not confined
to a time in public office.
And you're still a young man too.
Your Majesty.
One moment, darling.
Congratulations.
Thank you, John.
It's a funny old business.
One day, you're prime minister,
arguably the most
Well, the second-most
important person in the country,
and the next, you lose your job, your car,
and you're evicted from your home.
All before lunch.
I left a note for you on, uh
on your desk.
Good luck.
The prime minister, Your Majesty.
- Your Majesty.
- Prime Minister.
The new prime minister
came to see me today.
So, how are you settling in?
After some polite chit-chat,
I brought up the Royal Yacht Britannia,
hoping for a last-minute reprieve,
and he offered a new idea.
A brand-new yacht,
but not paid for by the government.
- What?!
- How, then?
By private finance.
At a cost of some £65 million.
Which means that
whichever individual or company
pays for it would own the yacht
and lease it back to the government
whenever the royal family
required its use.
What, like a rental?
Hmm, like Avis.
Actually, it's not that unusual.
In the modern, commercial world,
that's what they do
for shipping containers and oil tankers.
Britannia isn't a shipping container.
She's a royal yacht
and a symbolic representation
of your mother.
So, what are they suggesting?
That "HMY Britannia
sponsored by McVities Biscuits"
be emblazoned on the side?
They're suggesting
the yacht would no longer be Britannia.
She would have a new name.
Go on.
New Britain.
I rather like it.
Wait, wasn't that
Blair's political slogan?
- Yes.
- Oh, come on.
Next they'll want his grinning face
on the side with a big red rosette.
I said if those were
the terms of the royal yacht's existence,
I would sooner it be decommissioned.
So that's the decision.
Charles' trip to Hong Kong
will be her last official trip.
After 43 years of service
and more than a million nautical miles
around the globe
the royal yacht is to be retired.
It was the first time
I've seen it so clearly.
The toll that the past few years
have taken on her.
And her distress or her grief,
it was not for the royal yacht,
nor her precious memories.
It was for herself.
And the institution she represents.
Like she felt
she was being decommissioned.
In which case, you must be ready, sir.
And the country must start
to prepare for you as the future.
To that end,
I had a look at the itinerary,
and I've managed to find some time
for you to meet with the prime minister
one-on-one on the royal yacht.
I also identified one or two places
in the speech
that Buckingham Palace has sent for you
to read out at the farewell ceremony,
just to tweak it a bit.
Just to give it a bit more of your voice.
The only thing
I haven't been able to change is, um
business class seats.
The politicians,
Foreign Secretary Robin Cook,
former foreign secretary Douglas Hurd,
and former prime minister Edward Heath,
are all going first class.
And the heir to the throne is in business?
Afraid so.
Doesn't that tell you everything?
You're going to have to be very brave.
But I promise you, you'll survive.
- I'll talk to him.
- I'm not gonna ask you.
There you are.
I mean, the excitement is being
in a position to actually do this stuff.
Prince Charles flew into Hong Kong today
as the final countdown
to the handover begins.
The foreign secretary, Robin Cook,
criticized China's plans
to send in troops
hours after the handover.
Dodi called me today.
To tell me he paid a deposit
on the house in Malibu.
Good.
Be happy for him.
But what if
he actually proposes to this girl?
Then we will give him
a magnificent wedding.
In Paris.
With the reception at the Ritz.
Or in Scotland. In your castle.
My firstborn son marrying a model.
That's all I was.
You were so much more than a model.
You were a socialite.
I'm feeling a bit gloomy this evening.
I don't want to spoil your night.
No, you will spoil it only by not coming.
Just one course.
Twenty minutes.
- All right. All right.
- Hmm? Hmm?
I thought after the divorce,
I'd be this happy, smiley thing again,
but I'm more glum than ever.
It's Camilla's 50th birthday coming up.
Charles wants to throw her
a big party at Highgrove.
I don't want to be
in the country for that.
Where to go?
I had plans to take the boys to America
for a summer holiday,
but that was shut down
for security reasons, so
Why don't you come to Saint-Tropez
with us?
Please.
No, I wouldn't inflict all this on you.
Clear off. Get out!
Go on, get out of here!
Clear off. Get out of here.
My bodyguards are all special forces,
so you will be fine.
For the boys,
there will be speedboats and jet skis
and movies and burgers and french fries.
For you, there will be sunshine
and shopping
and a big, new yacht.
And a helicopter and a plane
to get you there.
You will think
it's all very Egyptian and vulgar.
But you will love it!
So?
Promise me you will think about it?
Hmm?
Mm-hmm.
Your Excellency, Prime Minister,
ladies and gentlemen,
I've been asked by Her Majesty the Queen
to read the following message.
Five hours from now,
the Union Flag will be lowered.
The flag of China will fly over Hong Kong,
and more than a century and a half
of British administration
will have come to an end.
And now the people of Hong Kong
can look to a new future.
As the old certainties give way,
I feel hopeful
Hong Kong's unique character and spirit
will be a lesson to the world
of independence and progress.
This strong sense of identity
this deep commitment
to its own way of doing things,
has been the engine
of Hong Kong's spectacular success.
By preserving these liberties,
we are not merely protecting
a people's way of life.
We are inviting the world
to learn from their example.
I wish you all a successful transition,
and a prosperous and peaceful future.
The prime minister,
Your Royal Highness.
Prime Minister, I'm so grateful to you
for making the time.
Your Royal Highness.
Look at you.
The first prime minister young enough
to be the Queen's son.
Winston Churchill,
who sat in that armchair
a great many times,
was old enough to be her grandfather.
Anthony Eden, Harold Macmillan,
her father.
Wilson and Heath, her husbands.
Mrs. Thatcher, her twin sister.
And you, her son.
Which I suppose,
by extension, would make us
- Brothers.
- Yes.
Two men of the same age and generation.
And, hopefully, of a similar mindset.
And I want to say, if this meeting is
about the decommissioning of the yacht,
I want you to know, especially in light
of having been shown around her today,
how bad I feel.
Why?
- Well, I
- Please.
I suppose I wasn't prepared for
how striking she'd be up close.
Or how remarkable
the sense of tradition is
that you get aboard her or
I suppose it almost
makes one regret the decision.
To get rid of her? Really?
And here am I, thinking the opposite.
The very thing
that has brought us to Hong Kong
has made clear that
there's no point clinging to the past.
We must be excited by the future.
And what an example you've set
with your party.
You've taken a rusty,
old socialist tractor
and turned it into
a gleaming, modern sports car.
- And look how the public has responded.
- I hope so.
I probably shouldn't say this, but
I think the royal family needs
a similar renovation.
Not just in terms of size and cost,
though certainly those things, too, but
also in terms of attitudes.
My parents can be
a little hidebound in their ideas
about, for example,
how I should be permitted to live.
Divorces and second marriages
these things exist.
And the reality for many people today.
You understand that.
You understand the public mood
better than anyone.
Don't you think they'd prefer to see
a happy, remarried Prince of Wales,
rather than an unhappy, unmarried one?
It was pretty gobsmacking
what he was doing.
Effectively briefing against
his own mother.
Mmm.
But I have some sympathy with him.
Can't be much fun
being the Prince of Wales
if you're an impressive man.
Is he?
Oh yes, with energy and a brain.
And a conscience and a beating heart
and a genuine desire to engage
and make a difference.
Same with this yacht.
Magnificent though she is, the fact is,
she's done over a million miles.
Her glories belong to the past.
She's not fit for purpose today.
Of course, I have enormous respect
for the people who advise the Queen,
but, well, let's be honest,
there's a lot of gray hair there.
And they do display
a certain tone deafness at times.
If we want to preserve
what's best about the Crown,
then two, modern, forward-thinking men
might need to work together
to help protect
well, not only the monarchy's future, but
as heir to the throne, my future too.
To be stuck in a system
that wants you to be nothing. No one.
Without a voice.
"and the leader of the bushmen
attached himself to this man
as if it was his natural right,
but soon a remarkable change set in."
That is so good.
It would be like being
trapped for eternity in opposition.
I mean, we had 18 years.
That was bad enough.
He's already had 50.
It can't be easy
knowing your own mother has the final say
on who you can or can't marry.
Hmm.
Imagine if your mum had a veto over me.
She wouldn't have dared.
Hong Kong's new dawn
heralded a new military power today.
Troops of China's
People's Liberation Army, the PLA,
trundled across the border
as a friendly invasion.
But it is the sight
of armored personnel carriers
that has stirred particular unease
in some quarters.
The Prince of Wales Barracks
on Hong Kong Island
was the British military headquarters
until midnight last night.
But no more.
Today, inscrutable Chinese sentries
came face to face with
Your Majesty.
struggling home
after a long and liquid night.
The PLA arrived
One or two bits and pieces, if I may.
The Princess of Wales has asked permission
to take the princes with her
on a holiday in the South of France,
as guests of Mohamed Al Fayed.
Should we go back with a "no"?
That would be my preference,
but it is Diana's turn
with the boys this year.
Which is what I'm told
divorced couples call "parenting."
So it's none of my business.
Ma'am.
Was that the bit?
I'm bracing myself for the pieces.
The Prince of Wales
Go on.
is believed to have granted
the prime minister a private audience
while in Hong Kong,
before heading off on a private holiday
with Mrs. Parker Bowles and some friends
on the royal yacht.
I've taken the liberty
of drafting a statement
clarifying that the holiday was
at the Prince's expense.
But that doesn't deal with
the private audience.
What do you think they discussed?
The ostensible subject was
the future of Britain in the region.
Will you ask the Prince of Wales to come
and see me as soon as he has a moment?
Ma'am.
And before she is decommissioned,
do you think I might be allowed to say
my own private farewell to Britannia?
Of course.
Let me arrange that.
Your Royal Highness.
The Prince of Wales, Your Majesty.
Mummy.
How was Canada?
Wonderful, thank you.
Not a spot of rain.
No, I'm afraid I got the rain.
Almost drowned out my speech.
My speech.
I hope it didn't spoil
your subsequent holiday
in the Where was it?
Uh, Manila and the Paracel Islands.
I must say,
I was surprised to hear of the trip.
And that you would use the royal yacht
as a place to conduct your affair
with Mrs. Parker Bowles.
My affair, Mummy? I'm an unmarried man.
Divorced man whose wife is still alive.
Are we really having this conversation?
Camilla and I are mature, willing adults.
- No doubting the "willing."
- Who make one another happy.
No doubting that either.
But isn't it time you asked yourself,
what good can ultimately come of it
when the public is so against it?
This is madness.
I tend to agree.
For years, Diana has
washed her dirty linen in public.
She's thrown endless grenades over
the Palace gates trying to blow us all up.
And throughout this,
Camilla has remained a model of
discretion and decency and dignity.
And yet you save
your most bitter condemnation for her.
The prime minister
Ah yes, the prime minister.
a young man who understands the public
better than anyone,
told me that what they want
is a happy heir to the throne
whose private life reflects the world
as they see it.
I don't want to get drawn on Mr. Blair
or whether he understands the people
better than me or not.
I'd say he does.
But I do want to make clear
that the only person in this family
to have a direct relationship
with the first minister is the sovereign.
- Which will one day be me.
- One day. But not yet.
When?
You should know the answer
better than anyone
because, God willing,
you will one day take the oath yourself.
This job is for life.
Let's hope there's still an institution
for me to take the oath for.
I don't think it's my behavior
that's threatening its survival.
Isn't it?
It hasn't been on my watch that there's
been a complete breakdown of authority,
that a program on national television's
made such a mockery of us.
The vote, as I understand it,
went comfortably in our favor.
Less in yours.
In Hong Kong,
I saw how easy it is to dispose of us.
Buildings renamed.
Your head removed from the stamps.
150 years of living under the Crown,
they couldn't have been shot of us
more quickly.
That's what happens when
we fail to move with the times.
You can't be blamed
for living a long life.
Thank you.
But you have to accept that your
your values were shaped by Queen Mary.
Yes. Proud of it.
Hers by Queen Victoria.
Proud of that too.
I'm just worried, Mummy, that
if we continue
to hold onto these Victorian notions
of how the monarchy should look,
how it should feel,
then the world will move on.
And those who come after you will be
will be left with nothing.
Your Majesty.
Your Majesty.
I love you.