The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e01 Episode Script

1
My name is Kusuo Saiki.
I have psychic powers.
But because my powers are so powerful,
it is difficult for me to control.
That is why I have this on my head.
That reminds me,
it may seem to some of you
that it's been a year
since I said the party was continuing.
That's just your imagination.
Because that happened only last week
in this world.
-What?
-Huh?
What is this?
Someone who had this slot before us
probably forgot it.
-What are they talking about?
-Well, then.
-I'm wearing my power limiter.
-Shinpachi.
-I don't know where they're coming off.
-This is the late night slot.
If there are more connections,
-people will think I work for Yorozuya.
-So, make a greeting.
Our live action movies had
the same director.
SUGAR
STRAWBERRY MILK
When did this happen?
What's this?
"The Gintama anime can be found on
various streaming services."
Those shameless animals
even plugged their show on mine!
Ku, breakfast is ready!
I lost it there for a second.
But now that the crossover bit is over,
it's time to go back to normal.
That is my mother.
Here, Ku. I have dessert too.
Kind and considerate as usual.
MUNCH MUNCH
MUNCH MUNCH
Now, I should get to school
before the annoying one turns up.
Have a nice day!
CRASH
Oh, no! I'm late for work!
Please teleport me there, Kusuo!
Ku already left for school.
What? He already left?
Why didn't you wake me up?
Because you're so cute
when you're sleeping.
I just couldn't.
-Honey.
-Darling.
My parents are lovey-dovey as usual.
Now, it's time to go back
to my usual peaceful life.
My usual
I forgot how to get to school.
Nendo is as stupid as usual.
I mean, it's been a year
-since we've gone to school.
-Stop, you idiot!
I agree that this isn't the usual morning.
I've felt a presence this entire time.
This must be a foreshadowing of Ragnarok.
Kaido's imagination is active as usual.
No, everything is as usual.
Kuboyasu won't bite.
Just do what we usually do? Okay.
Just go already.
Why is it tied so tight?
I thought I hit the jackpot
when a ghost told me
there were porno mags here.
But now I can't look inside.
PLEASE HELP YOURSELF
What? Saiki?
-Obviously, I ignore him as usual.
-Saiki!
PK ACADEMY
Good morning!
Good morning, Mr. Matsuzaki!
Good morning, Hairo.
Good morning, students of PK Academy!
Hey! Don't come to school
with toast in your mouth!
Okay!
-Oh, Teruhashi.
-Oh, Teruhashi.
Good morning, everyone.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
I've already received 128 gasps today.
I'm on my usual pace.
But I don't see Saiki.
-Oh!
-Oh!
-Oh!
-Oh!
I thought I'd give Saiki
my patented morning smile.
Then I'm sure Saiki would have said this.
Wow, seeing Teruhashi's smile
is a nice way to start my day.
I'm the happiest guy in the world.
Too bad, Saiki.
-Oh!
-Oh!
My plan to run into Kaido
on our way to school
like a typical rom-com totally failed.
Maybe I should have
just stuck to my usual routine.
I ended up coming to school
with toast in my mouth.
So, it was you Mr. Matsuzaki
was scolding earlier, Yumehara.
I smell toast.
YEAR 2 - CLASS 3
Why does going to school require
such commotion?
Hey, pal!
Saiki, do you not feel an awakening force?
Hey, Saiki.
Good morning, Saiki!
Good morning, Saiki.
Saiki, could I get more screen time?
Saiki, do you have food?
-Saiki!
-Saiki!
Good grief.
I'm back to my disastrous life
and putting up with these people.
SAIKI
Our crossover isn't over yet?
Ku!
What? Where's Kusuo?
Oh, maybe he's out
with Nendo and his other friends.
What?
But we spend Christmas with the family!
That son of a
-Oh, my.
-Oh, my.
Ku made friends he can hang out with
on Christmas.
That self-righteous, self-serving egoist,
who thinks of humans as nothing
more than monkeys, made friends.
-Oh, my.
-Oh, my.
Don't get the wrong idea.
My last two Christmases were disasters.
I'm sick of hearing "Silent Night."
That's why I left home this year
to be alone here at a nearby park.
This year, I'll finally have
a quiet Christmas.
Someone is already here?
Oh, well. Let's find another place.
Doesn't he have anywhere to be?
It's not like we do.
Oh, darn!
-That hurts.
-Watch where you're going!
I'm sorry.
No, the cake!
Be more careful,
you impatient Santa Claus.
SHOCK
Oh, no.
You dropped the cake you were delivering?
You're paying for that!
Hold on a second!
The cakes cost 6,300 yen each,
and I only earn 5,000 yen a day!
So pay up 1,300 yen.
What?
It's sad enough
that I have to work on Christmas,
but now I have to work for free
and pay 1,300 for a messed-up cake
on top of that!
-I thought so.
-What?
I thought it was you.
Oh, you know, that guy
You're that guy You know
I'm Takahashi!
Oh, Takahashi. What are you doing?
I know, do you want to buy a cake?
It looks a little messed-up,
but I'll sell it to you cheap.
How much do you have?
Hey, that looks good.
I'll take any amount at this point.
I only have 1,302 yen right now.
It's almost like I planned it.
Thank you very much.
Now, what?
Oh, I know.
I'll see if Kaido wants to go
to my pal's house.
I'm getting a bad feeling about something.
CLAIRVOYANCE
I'll take a look around me just in case.
What?
Why is Kaido here?
I was out taking a walk by myself
when I felt a disturbing wind
coming from this direction.
He gave me an explanation!
I suspect the park.
This is bad, he's coming here.
Psychic power, disturbing wind!
WHOOSH
What was that warm gust?
Was that the disturbing wind?
That's the first time
I've felt a disturbing wind!
USING CLAIRVOYANCE
All right, forget the park!
That should do it.
There's nothing here.
-Hey, there you are, little guy.
-What?
-Nendo!
-I was looking for you.
I am out searching for
an evil fallen angel
-on this holy night.
-I got this cake here,
and I was thinking
about hitting up my pal's house.
Saiki's house?
I've got a cake.
-I was just getting bored.
-Let's eat cake. Come on.
-Let's go to the place of demise!
-Let's eat!
SHUDDER
Again. Where is this
uneasiness coming from?
I feel like
I'm completely missing something.
No, it must be my imagination.
There should be no problem.
Oh, Teruhashi!
Wow, what a coincidence.
What? A Christmas party at Saiki's place?
What? That's like a god-level event!
I want to go! But
Hey, you scum!
Don't talk to my Kokomi,
you glorified extras!
I'm with my brother.
What?
I'm sorry. This is my brother.
Oh, I didn't know you had a brother.
Get out of here already.
I'm spending all night with Kokomi,
watching every show and movie
I've been in.
FLAP FLAP
What is this?
Did Kokomi just grow wings?
-It's the actor Touru Mugami!
-Oh, no.
What, Mugami?
What? He's your brother?
Yes! Now's our chance!
Let's go to Saiki's house.
Not again.
What is this
overwhelming feeling of dread?
What should I do? It should be safe
for me to go back now.
What? What's that commotion?
That's Teruhashi's brother, Touru Mugami!
That's a dangerous mob heading this way.
That was a close one.
You're home.
Hey, pal! Merry Christmas.
Hi, Saiki.
Sorry for dropping by like this.
I really wanted
to share this cake with you.
I just ran into him while I was on a walk.
And I decided to tag along.
-Wait, this cake is a mess!
-Yes.
It is, but you can still eat it.
Yes, okay.
Let's get this party started!
Happy new year!
Nothing beats spending
New Year's watching TV in your cozy room.
My parents are out,
which means I have the house to myself.
Nobody is here to get in my way.
I love New Year's.
Today's guest is Mr. Illmania.
This is bliss.
Before we bring out our special guest,
look who we found wandering around.
Happy new year.
And our second special guest
is Touru Mugami!
-Time to change the channel.
-Hi!
Loose Monkeys New Year's Special!
In this show popular comedians
from Lucky Monkey hit the streets.
Out and about!
That's a good bit.
We've come to S prefecture's
Hidariwakibara-cho!
Never heard of it.
That's where I live!
So they're in my town today.
They're in Hidariwakibara-cho!
They're here!
Why don't we talk to some locals?
Oh, hello! What are you doing here?
-Is this for TV?
-My parents!
What are they doing?
I'm still not over the shock
that they're here in town.
This is Loose Oo Oo Ah Ah, right?
Stop being an embarrassment!
What a funny couple.
Please make it stop. I'm so ashamed.
-Where are you off to?
-To the shrine.
Oh, that's nice.
What are you wishing for?
That we can marry each other
in the next life too.
I have the same wish.
I love you, honey.
I'll pretend I didn't see that.
I bet it's trending online right now.
Answer the question for ten million yen.
Right, this show is Quiz Billionaire.
You win one billion yen
if you can answer all the questions right.
Although, nobody has even won
100 million yet.
C, Naotaro Moriyama.
Final answer?
Here comes the best part.
Too bad! The answer was A!
Those amazing facial expressions
before the reveal.
I guess I'll watch this.
Bring on the next contestant!
He is our randomly selected
audience member,
Mr. Riki Nendo
from Hidariwakibara-cho in S Prefecture.
What are you doing?
What? Is this for real?
How do you feel, Nendo?
Let's do this!
You sound completely stupid.
I mean, there's no way Nendo
is going to be any good on a quiz show.
-Are you ready?
-Yes!
It's time for Quiz Billionaire!
Question number one.
Who won the 1921 Nobel Prize in physics?
Naotaro Moriyama
is one of the choices again?
Pass.
You can't pass, idiot.
What?
You can't pass.
What? Really?
Would you like to use a lifeline?
You still have Ask the Audience,
Phone Call, and Fortuneteller left.
Fortuneteller?
All right! Let's call someone.
The fortuneteller?
No, someone else.
Then we are calling Nendo's friend
waiting in the other room.
Friend? I have a bad feeling about this.
Hello. Yes!
It's Kaido! Yes!
I'm witnessing a live emotional scarring.
You have 30 seconds on the clock!
Man, you're way too nervous.
"It's Kaido!"
What? Shut up!
What's the question?
We have only 30 seconds.
Oh, right. You know the answer.
You have to tell me what the question is!
What? I have to say this?
Einstein, Marie Curie?
Naotaro Moriyama and Michael
What's the question?
I have to read that too?
Nobel something
Read the whole thing for me!
Look, whatever. I just know that
Naotaro Moriyama is definitely
Time is up.
Give us your answer, Nendo.
Naotaro Moriyama.
That's a disaster.
Just look at this big room.
This is where
So many people I know on TV.
-Ms. Mera is fast!
-You too?
What a hit!
Baseball? I bet he's
-Home run!
-See.
NEW YEAR MAGIC SHOW
What's going on?
Tell somebody
I can't even watch television at home
without you tormenting me?
NEW YEAR ANIME
What?
Saiki, I'm begging you!
Use your power
to get me a date with Aiko
from Class Five!
Could you max out
my likability score with Aiko?
-Please!
-This guy is helpless.
Completely helpless.
I'll even settle for Kyoko!
I'm not a miracle worker.
We would be better off without him.
-Please!
-Hi, Saiki!
-On your way home?
-Hairo.
Athletic and smart,
he's our class representative.
He's this guy's complete opposite.
He's honest, sincere,
treats everyone equally,
and is universally loved.
In comparison, this guy is
a frivolous liar
who's only after cute girls,
and everyone treats him like a virus.
It's all the more aggravating that
despite this,
his eyes are so innocent.
I wish he would learn from Hairo.
Well, I have to go to practice!
Oh, Toritsuka said he'd join.
What?
Hey.
Why am I being forced to run?
It's to purify your soul.
Three more laps!
This is ridiculous! The only thing I hate
more than exercise is men!
Stop complaining.
I somehow got roped into this too.
Okay, fine! I'll do it already!
And in exchange, you'll do what I asked!
Yes, of course. You got it.
That didn't sound sincere!
You made it!
That sucked.
I believe in you, Toritsuka!
This is ridiculous.
I'm not joining this
-What?
-What?
That's Aiko from Class Five!
What is she doing there?
Oh, girls' tennis practices next to us.
Right! Aiko was in tennis club!
Hey, what did you mean by,
"This is ridiculous?"
I just meant that
I'm totally taking this seriously!
Let's make it to the nationals!
What? Okay.
Thank goodness.
I was a little worried when someone
mentioned he was like a virus,
but he's a passionate guy.
What? You're in the tennis club,
Toritsuka?
I am. What a coincidence
running into you here.
Or is it fate?
What? Well, I'm not sure.
We're in the middle of practice!
-No idle talking!
-Good luck, Hairo.
Are you ready?
-First we practice our swings.
-What?
We're on the court,
I want to hit some balls.
What am I going to do with you?
Okay, I'll throw you the balls,
you hit them back. Got it?
Finally, some fun.
Oh, Aiko is watching me.
All right, time to show off.
Take a look at this, Aiko.
This is all for you.
Dang, you're slow!
Why are you looking away?
Drat.
I was looking at Aiko instead of the ball.
Oh, no! Aiko's getting turned off!
I didn't want to have to do this.
Time to summon a pro tennis player!
I'll show you the power
of a spirit medium.
No.
What are you doing?
Don't cheat.
But I can't look stupid in front of Aiko.
Captain Hairo, Saiki is sleeping!
What? Saiki, no sleeping!
That snitch.
Okay, keep your eye on the ball this time.
Ready?
Go!
Playtime is over.
Time to show you a pro's
I told you no.
Right in the family jewels!
He's done for!
Fine! I'll rely on my own skill!
Just leave me alone!
Okay, good.
-Good grief.
-Are you okay?
I know you're doing this
because you'd be jealous
if I got a girlfriend.
But you won't break me!
Captain Hairo! Give me another!
Okay.
I'll earn it myself!
WHACK
What a beautiful form!
Spectacular control!
How did you return that?
Amazing! He's no amateur!
I'm not done yet.
Not anywhere near done.
Summoning a spirit is great
if I make sure I don't get possessed.
There's no way Aiko
won't fall for me now
What? Why?
Did you see me, Aiko?
Yes, I saw.
You're really good, Toritsuka.
Oh, thank goodness.
I was really surprised.
What?
-Well, keep it up.
-I was expecting more.
Shouldn't she be more excited?
Do you want to know why?
Why, Saiki?
Before you even asked for my help,
that girl already liked you.
What? For real?
But why?
Haven't you figured it out?
She's the type that will like you.
She obviously likes
worthless and awful boys.
Well, I'm totally over him now.
I liked how admirable and earnest he was.
Good grief.
This was your first and only chance.
I even went out of my way to help you.
You're such an idiot.
You should have just told me!
This pastry shop is all the rage.
GIRLS ONLY SWEET BUFFE
I showed up
only to find this announcement.
A man would quietly accept this
and move on.
A normal man would, that is.
But not a psychic like me.
TAKES 2 HOURS
I can transform into all kinds
of creatures,
so turning myself into a girl
is a piece of cake.
Anyway, don't say that I'm abusing
my psychic powers.
Sorry, I'm late!
I didn't have money for the train fare!
Sorry! I thought you were someone else.
Chisato, over here!
I'm sorry about her.
Oh, that's our uniform.
I really don't have money. Are you sure?
-So this is my punishment
-What a coincidence!
for abusing my powers.
Amazing.
This is like heaven.
Would you like to join us?
No, that would be hell.
CHATTER CHATTER
I'm already sitting down.
Well, I doubt they'll realize it's me.
-I'm Yumehara. I'm in second year.
-I know.
-And this is Chisato.
-I know.
-And I'm Teruhashi.
-I know all too well.
-What's your name?
-What? A name
Kusuo is definitely out, and Kusuko
might be too close.
A name?
That will do. I'll go with Kuriko.
What, Kumiko?
-No, Kuriko.
-Kusuo?
How did you get that?
Oh, Kuriko! Nice to meet you!
Nice to meet you.
Don't scare me like that.
If they figured out my identity
when I'm a different gender,
they've got psychic powers.
MUNCH MUNCH
Saiki?
-How?
-Oh, I thought the same thing.
They eat the exact same way.
Oh, sorry. The way
you were enjoying your food
looked exactly like this boy
we know called Saiki.
I hope we didn't offend you.
I see.
But don't worry, he's a really cool guy.
Cool enough that this pretty girl here
-fell for him
-Chiyo!
She goes to our school!
Oh, sorry. Forget what I said.
It's too late for that!
I didn't even tell Mera!
Oh, don't worry about Chisato. Look.
She's not listening to anything.
Slow down.
This is bad.
If this keeps going,
all the food is going to end up
being eaten by Mera.
-I should just ignore them.
-Oh, hey.
-Is there someone that you like?
-No.
No way! There must be someone!
No. I'm trying to eat.
-Not even a little?
-Shut up.
Oh, okay.
-You can tell me.
-Man, she's pushy.
Let it go, Chiyo.
I mean,
who doesn't have someone they like?
-That's a lot like Saiki too.
-Oh, no.
That's not true.
There are a lot of people like that.
Then what about you, Kokomi? Any progress?
Well, we did spend Christmas together.
-What?
-You're giving her the wrong idea.
HEY
Why am I only hearing this now?
Were you alone?
Did you do it? Did you tell him?
Don't say it like that.
No, we were with everyone!
Oh, just a Christmas party.
I ran into Nendo and Kaido on the street
and we went to Saiki's house for cake.
What? Kaido was with you?
Why didn't you call me?
What is her problem?
There was cake? Why didn't you call me?
You have cake in front of you.
-I hate you Kokomi!
-I'm sorry.
-Can I pay for you to make up for it?
-No, I don't need your money.
Instead, you get punishment!
What?
Yes, as punishment
you have to pretend Kuriko
is Saiki and confess your feelings.
-Say what?
-What?
For practice.
Kuriko has a similar vibe to Saiki,
so she'll be perfect practice on.
This is the real deal.
-Come on!
-Wait, hold on.
Kuriko
You mean "Saiki."
Saiki
What kind of rom-com is this?
This is way too awkward. Stop.
You know
There's something I need to tell you,
Saiki
No, don't say it.
I
Huh? Kuriko?
I have to go pee.
I'm sorry, did I upset you?
-I'll pick that up for you.
-Oh, no!
Wait, this textbook is for year two.
What is it?
-What does this mean?
-It's over now.
Why do you have Saiki's belongings?
This is a nightmare.
I completely let my guard down.
Could it be that you're
It must be. No wonder they're so similar.
Are you actually
It's all over now.
-Saiki's sister?
-Saiki's sister?
Oh, yes. That's it.
I didn't know he had a sister!
What a surprise!
And of course, Mera ate all the sweets.
It's been a while, so let me say
this again.
I'm Kusuo Saiki,
and I have psychic powers.
I never thought we would get
a second season of the anime.
Next time
Feel free to watch.
We'll have five new segments for you.
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto