The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e02 Episode Script

Season 2, Episode 2

Do you know what day it is tomorrow?
This year again? It must be your wedding
-The answer is
-Let me say it!
our wedding anniversary!
Today is also the day we first met!
I know.
This is our 19th year of marriage, and
the 20th year since we first met, honey!
Yes, congratulations.
-Well, I'm
-Hey! Hold on, Kusuo!
Don't you want to hear the story
of how your parents first met?
No! I've heard enough.
What? If it wasn't for that day,
you wouldn't even be here now!
Well, I'm going to sleep.
He used to listen to our story.
Back then, that's right,
it was 20 years ago.
-The day we met
Stop it already.
I couldn't help it.
If you want to tell it so bad,
try telling the wall.
Wall, that's right. There were
so many walls in the way of our marriage.
Stop going into a flashback
every chance you get!
-It was 20 years ago.
-Fine. Ignore me.
November 22, 1994.
I was 19 years old then.
I was smart and good at sports,
so I was famous on campus.
This part is never believable.
Hey, Kuni!
I was friends with Kimutaku.
This part is definitely a lie.
But I grew tired of that life.
-See you later.
-Hey, wait!
That's when it happened.
-Come on, how about it?
-Please stop.
A girl was being cornered
by some punk right in front of me.
I took him down with one punch
and saved her.
Are you okay, kitty?
Thank you so much.
She was an angel.
When I first saw her,
I knew that she would be my wife.
I thought the same thing.
But when he stared at me,
he looked creepy.
Hey, that's the first time I heard that!
Well, that was your mother.
She happened to be there
-for her school trip.
-Hey, honey, Ku is gone.
-What? We were just getting started.
-Oh, let him go, honey.
Let's drink a toast. It's past midnight.
That's right.
Congratulations, you two.
You probably shouldn't have a third kid.
-I'm interested in a sibling, but
-Oh, shut up, you!
Anyway, what's up, Kusuke?
It's been so long.
Are you here to celebrate our anniversary?
Not at all. I need to talk to Kusuo.
He went to bed, but what is it?
Is something wrong?
Oh, well,
I fixed Kusuo's control unit recently.
But I found out that
the parts I used were faulty.
-He is the same as ever.
-Maybe he's all right then.
Anyway, it's our anniversary. It's been
-Oh, I think our connection is
-Don't go!
What? The sky?
This is my room, isn't it?
Give me nine seconds.
First, where is this? My room? Outside?
I'm on a tree.
It is highly likely that I teleported
my entire room outside while I was asleep.
And I don't sense anyone around,
which means that
the best course of action is
to put it back.
But before that,
I need to survey the area.
My house is gone.
It should be right over there.
What? This looks like the town I live in.
But some things are different.
Let's take a look.
Oh, man!
So, you can't get a Saturn today.
Why didn't I just bet on Brian Narita
instead of that long shot?
Then you would have
only won 170 yen, right?
-What are they talking about?
-I'll bet on the next Arima race.
The Saturn came out today.
-You like me? Hand it over.
-Oh, a pregnant teen.
I hear they
have cheap phone cards in Ueno.
I never thought I'd be glad to see Nendo.
No, this isn't right!
If it was really you, you'd say
Oh, hey, pal! Let's go get some ramen.
-What's up with you? You need something?
You really don't know me?
Whatever you need, it'll have to wait.
Right now, I'm going to pick up
that cute chick over there.
It can't be
Hey! What are you doing?
NOVEMBER 22, 1994
This isn't my time period. It's the past!
There she goes. Dang.
This isn't Nendo, it's his dead father.
If it's November 22, 20 years ago,
then today is the day Mom and Dad met.
Right! There's my dad!
What? He passed by her.
But he said that he saved her
when some punk cornered her,
but where is
It's you?
If it wasn't for that day,
you wouldn't even be here now!
Hey, I'm hungry. Let's get some ramen.
I've really messed things up this time.
What have I done? This must be
the golden era!
No, wait. It's November 22, 1994.
-I traveled to the past.
-One miso ramen, ma'am.
Hey, what do you want to eat?
This isn't Nendo. It's his dead father.
If I'm correct,
I've done a terrible thing.
Those two were supposed to meet,
but I changed their fate.
My father was supposed to
see Nendo's father hitting on my mom
and stop him.
That's how they met.
But because I stopped Nendo's father,
their fate changed.
If Mom and Dad never meet,
I won't be born.
Me neither.
Damn! I have to make sure
those two meet again.
-This is no time for eating!
There's my dad.
It looks like he'll be there a while.
-If I could just bring my mom here
-We left without paying.
That cute girl we saw earlier
is around here somewhere, right?
Besides, I want to ask you something.
What kind of person are you?
What planet are you from? Tell me.
Has he figured out
that I'm from the future?
You must be
a foreigner, right?
You can't be Japanese with that pink hair.
Of course, he hasn't.
Oh, right.
This was the era before my mind control.
So my hair color and this headgear
must really stick out.
What funny hair.
You're one to talk.
This should work.
There's my mom.
Oh, hey! It's the chick from before.
Now go get her. It's up to you now.
All right! Let's do this.
This is all in your hands.
Thanks a lot, pal.
Genetics are frightening.
Hey, beautiful!
Anyway, the pieces are now in place.
Now Dad just needs to help her.
-Let's go, babe.
-I really can't
I'm here on a school trip.
-Yes, he noticed. Now go!
-You can play hooky.
I won't be able to get back.
Hey, what are you doing?
This is no time to buy a horoscope.
Your future wife is in trouble.
Damn. I knew it.
I knew his story was off.
He really spiced it up.
It may have been a stroke of luck
that my loser father
could take down that punk.
I bet it happened like this.
I actually believed
that he was friends with Kimutaku.
How stupid of me.
-Hey, Kimura!
You're late.
No way. Really?
-Sorry, I had a lucky streak in pachinko.
-Who the hell are you?
This is bad. What should I do?
-It will be fine!
-And what about those two
Give me one hour.
That escalated quickly.
Will it really be just an hour?
She could leave with him any minute now.
She's too nice to refuse when pressured.
Not good. If this keeps up
Come on, Kusuo!
I'm going to be late.
Just teleport me there real quick.
Oh, honey, you can't make
Ku do everything.
Oh, well, if I have to
I'd rather see the world explode
two seconds from now.
Hey, do something fast.
I've set it all up for you!
-Hey, Kimura.
Maybe I should go outside and help her.
Good, that's right. Keep going!
Don't bother, man.
The girl might even be
Shut up, Takuro!
Oh, hey, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
Goodness. I had to take over for him.
Hey, your face has changed.
All right, let's go.
Hey, come on, stop it!
All right, I got it.
Let's go to the beach.
Well, I really only have an hour, so
Aim for Nendo's father.
That girl is already spoken for.
Are you okay?
Yes, I'm fine
Oh, may I ask your name?
It's Saiki.
-What? Me too.
-Good grief.
There's not a chance in hell
I won't be born now.
Sheesh, that was tough.
was I hit by a meteorite or something?
I looked up and she was gone.
You'll find someone too.
Someone who likes butt-chins.
All right, whatever.
Let's go get some ramen.
What? You're leaving?
All right, later, pal!
I'll take my room one day into the past.
Since it came from 20 years
in the future yesterday,
I should be able to go back with it
if I hold onto it.
I can feel it.
This is 20 years later.
Looks like that settles it.
The butterfly effect.
There's no time to explain.
Look it up yourselves.
In short, by slightly changing
my parents' first meeting,
I caused a chain reaction
that led to the destruction of the world.
No, things could not have gone this wrong.
What happened
that the world turned into Mad Max?
It's no good.
No matter what I try, I can't return.
Well, it's not that I can't go.
Since I can only go back
to this exact time 20 years ago,
I can never go back
to the point of change.
Even if I could go back and fix it,
are my parents even alive?
What? No way!
Is that Toritsuka's voice?
What is he wearing?
It's me, Toritsuka.
This is not the Toritsuka I know.
I changed my look to match the times.
I had no choice but to ride this wave.
Wrong haircut.
All right, fine.
Let's see what he has to say.
What? Amnesia?
Oh, so you don't remember your promise
to do everything I say?
I would never promise that.
Stop being stupid
and tell me what's going on.
All right, so first
I'll tell you what happened
after World War III.
What about before that?
What? You don't remember that either?
-It really happened?
-It was two years ago.
Hold on.
What is that high-tech thing?
-What? It's a K-Watch.
-Are you sure this isn't the future?
This is a news article about World War III
Close the nude photos first.
They say that the war was started
by a single inventor.
I see. So if I go to the past
and get rid of him
It was Doctor Kusuke.
He's family!
-Even he would never start a war.
-He invented this watch too!
The world is full of idiots.
I'll be God of the new world.
Don't you think there are too many people?
Actually, he just might.
Good grief. The butterfly effect of
my parents' first meeting ended the world.
Where are you going?
I'm going to pay a visit to that inventor.
What? No way. You can't.
-Well, how do I put this?
You're already dead.
What? I'm dead?
It was three years ago, I think.
You've been a ghost since I first met you.
Is that so?
That means normal people can't see you.
Even someone like me
with psychic powers can't touch you.
-So that's what happened.
-What is this?
-This world
I no longer exist in it.
Wow, I can touch you!
Did you come back to life?
-Now I understand.
-I never knew
-I'm dead in this world.
-you could punch so hard.
That's why my brother
couldn't stop the world war.
You really did come back to life.
So, now you can't tell me
-the color of girls' panties.
-What the hell did you make me do?
Whatever, I think I've got it now.
See you around, Toritsuka.
Who are you?
You have quite the security system.
You can't just go around
starting wars, you know?
Oh, my!
-It's so good to see you again!
-What's up with him?
But how did you come back to life?
-Answer my questions first.
-Wait, let me guess.
Could it be that you accidentally
time traveled from a different reality?
Then you made a small change to the past.
But when you returned,
there was a butterfly effect.
You learned that you died three years ago,
then you came to me.
That's my theory, but that can't be right.
What? Are you an oracle?
Oh, I knew it!
So why exactly did you start the war?
I didn't start anything.
The fighting started
because of something I invented.
Otherwise, why would I start a war?
I have no interest
in the world or humanity at all.
I'd sooner pit two rhinoceros beetles
against each other.
You're pretty heartless.
By the way, what is it that you invented?
Just that time machine over there.
It was pointless living without you,
so I tried to find a way
to bring you back.
But you're back now,
so I don't need it anymore.
I'll toss it out on unburnable trash day.
Does it still work?
No, it's useless.
It only takes you back one day.
Oh, tomorrow is unburnable day.
She just happened
to be there for her school trip.
It was like fate.
Hey, Kusuo. What's wrong?
You've never listened
to our story so intently before.
Shut up and tell me the rest of the story.
So Saiki used his brother's time machine
to travel one day into the past,
then go back 20 years from there.
Then without touching anything,
he traveled 20 years to the present.
But I need to make sure
that I've come back
to the correct present time.
Congratulations, you two.
-Oh, Ku!
-Kusuke! It's been so long!
Good grief. I hate to admit it,
but I messed up again.
What's wrong?
You look like
you just came back from the past.
What's up? What are you sighing about?
Oh, no, it's nothing really.
Could it be that you are contemplating
how you will save the world
from its imminent demise?
It's nothing that noble.
You got a marble stuck
up your butt or something?
It's nothing so ignoble either.
No, it's really no big deal.
Well, okay then.
Sorry to worry you.
You are Aren Kuboyasu, right?
I'm glad you decided to show up.
Would you stop this stuff already?
I'm done with being a punk.
Don't lie to me.
You were the head boss of the biggest
biker gang in Kanto for ten years.
You never lost a fight
and you smashed them to dust.
There's no way someone like you
would quit the punk life!
It's quite brave of you
to pick a fight knowing all that.
All right, fine.
But if I win, you have to leave me alone.
Oh, I promise!
I may not look it, but I keep my word.
Let's fight one-on-one, fair and square.
Wow, you seem confident.
All right, one-on-one, fair and square.
Don't let your guard down, fool!
I've done it again. Dang.
They have been all over me since
word got out about my shameful past.
It took so much to quit the gang,
but isn't this the same thing?
I see what his problem is.
If you fight fire with fire,
you're bound to get burned.
There has to be another way
or something more powerful.
I got all challenges again today.
How many more times must I fight them?
Just ignore them.
What's this? Looks like it's from a kid.
"My dear Kuboyasu"
"My dear"?
"I love you." What?
"Please go out with me."
Bring it on!
I'll take you to the grave with me!
This is
This is a love letter!
Is he touched or surprised?
Who's there? Come out!
Sheesh. I thought I hid pretty well.
Was it instinct?
I love you, Kuboyasu.
If you like me too, let's go out together.
"Meet me at six o'clock at Wanpaku Park
to give me your answer.
-What do you think?
It's a standard love letter.
What do you plan to do wearing that?
Kumiko Kuboyasu has a nice ring to it.
You're really into this.
What do you mean?
If I date her,
obviously I'm going to marry her.
There's only room
for one woman in my life!
Why is he so serious?
Saiki, I might quit school.
-Calm down.
-What should we name our kid?
If it's a boy,
Aren, Kumiko
I can mix those two.
How about Aqua Kuboyasu?
-If it's a girl, I'll call her this.
-The sea?
Marin Kuboyasu.
Oh, man! It's almost time!
I'm heading out.
Do me a favor and keep this between us.
Good grief.
I can't believe things have gone this far.
What a mess.
All right.
Let's go take a look.
Damn! I'm so nervous.
I just want to run away.
Am I seeing things?
No, you're not.
He's got a radar for surprise attacks.
Good thing I went invisible just in case.
But, she's late.
I'll have to get her to be more punctual.
Then again, I have my share of flaws, too.
This body doesn't only
belong to me anymore.
I'll swear to Kumiko
that I'll never fight again.
She's here!
Sorry, I'm late. I'm Kumiko!
We got you!
You spent so much time
writing neatly like a girl, right, Takumi?
I'm Takumi!
I knew it would be like this.
I don't fight anymore.
He's really scared now!
All right,
if you want us to forgive you
I knew it was a prank.
You didn't trick me at all.
Each of you is already dead!
Such overwhelming power.
Not a soul picked a fight
with Kuboyasu after that.
What are you looking at?
Now, he's the one picking fights.
8,500 YEN
Too expensive.
Do you know how much
coffee jelly I could buy for that?
I don't even need clothes.
Well, I need something to wear.
That's not what I mean.
I can restore my clothes each day,
so I can wear the same thing forever.
They become new again,
and don't even have to be washed.
But my mother can't let me
wear the same thing every year.
So she buys and makes me clothes.
I've found the perfect fabric for you, Ku!
But I've found my mother's taste
to be a bit too avant-garde.
That's why I've decided
to buy some new threads.
There's only one thing I shop for,
and that's plainness.
Oh, this is really cool.
I'm going to try it on.
Sir, please don't put it
directly on your skin.
-Oh, no.
-It's Saiki!
Hey, pal!
You're just in time, Saiki!
I was just choosing between two outfits!
Can you tell me which looks better?
This idiot has absolutely
no fashion sense.
-What do you mean?
-Go ask your mother.
This is the first outfit!
This is the second outfit!
Is this "spot the difference"?
Hey, pal. Take a look at mine, too.
As you can see,
this moron has no fashion sense.
-So, why ask me, anyway?
So, I've got two outfits.
This is the first one.
Don't wear that.
This is the other one.
Don't wear either.
They both suck!
What did you say?
All right, I guess we have
ourselves a challenge!
Saiki will be the judge
in our fashion fight!
I will not.
I'll never lose to you!
Bring it on!
All right, I'm out of here.
Oh, Saiki?
Even Teruhashi has managed to show up.
It must be too crowded here
for my telepathy to work.
I let my guard down.
You lose.
Fancy seeing you here, Teruhashi!
No, it's a tie.
Did you come here to buy clothes, too?
Yes, I was in the neighborhood.
I can't believe I ran into Saiki
on the weekend.
God is really on my side.
Did you all come here to buy clothes, too?
We sure did!
That's right! How about you try on
some outfits that we pick out?
-I'm going with fur!
You want me to try clothes on?
You must be kidding.
Am I some kind of doll?
Will Saiki pick out something for me too?
He sure is! Right, Saiki?
-Hey, pal. Show us your fashion sense.
-Oh, no
This is a rare opportunity!
I'll do it!
What? Really?
Yes, this is the perfect plan.
I'll learn what Saiki likes,
and not only that,
when we see each other later
What? Those are the clothes
that I chose for you.
Oh, yes.
I liked them so much.
How do they look on me?
What kind of man
wouldn't say "oh" to that?
I wouldn't.
All right!
Let's put our outfits together now!
I'm not going to lose!
Get on with it.
All right,
it looks like everyone has decided.
Yes, I'm ready!
I just came here to buy some clothes.
Oh, I can't wait!
Okay, let me try the clothes that Saiki
Try mine first!
They struck me the moment I saw them!
This is the outfit for you!
Just admit it. Those clothes are trash.
-They look great!
-The hell they do!
I'm ready.
How is it?
What now?
Should I tell her how bad it is?
No, it's fine.
Anything that girl wears
will fly off the shelves.
It's your turn!
Mine is already in the dressing room.
What? Aren't you going to show us first?
Where's the fun in that, moron?
It's a surprise.
You've got no common sense.
Your taste is awful, so you're all talk!
I'm using x-ray vision
to look at the outfit.
What the hell is this?
We can't make her wear that.
It would be a total disaster.
All right, Teruhashi, I hope you like it.
Okay, I'll go change.
If I can get through this one,
I can see what Saiki chose.
-Good grief. I guess I have no choice.
-Yours is going to suck!
Teruhashi, come on!
Cute, isn't it?
-It looks great on you!
-Huh? Wait.
-That's not what I chose.
-I really like it.
All right, now it's finally Saiki's turn.
But I really do like this outfit.
I'll get this
and whatever Saiki chooses, too.
What? Where's Saiki?
Oh, I forgot to buy clothes for myself.
Good grief. I think
I've had enough time traveling.
This is a whole new level of exhaustion.
I really need a break from all of this.
Next time
A quintuple feature,
including "Midwinter Disaster" and
"Invincible Disaster Prevention Measures"
What's with the winter stuff?
Subtitle translation by Robert Edison
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