The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e04 Episode Script

1
Life is so easy.
It's totally easy.
-Hey, I'll show you around.
-I get help wherever I go.
-That hurt.
-Here!
I bought strawberry milk for you.
-What the hell are you doing?
-I get whatever I want.
-The world revolves around me.
-You want to fight about it?
Why do I say so, you ask? It's obvious.
It's because I'm super beautiful!
Who are you?
-I thought it was just Teruhashi.
-Being cute isn't easy.
Even the gross nerd is looking.
You heard about the cute freshman?
Let's go check her out!
Is she cuter than Teruhashi?
-Which one?
-By the window.
Wow! She's super cute!
It's Imu Rifuta.
-What are those guys doing?
-Quit pushing!
Probably checking out the cute freshman.
Oh, the girl from this morning.
She is cuter than Teruhashi.
It's only a matter of time
before I dominate this school.
-This is a pain,
-Here she comes!
but I guess they deserve a treat.
Do you need something from me?
-Do you have a boyfriend?
-Are you dating anyone?
Are you seeing someone?
That's all the same question.
What? A boyfriend?
No, I don't.
That's not something
you can simply ask a girl!
Sorry.
I wish she would hit me too.
But if I do get a boyfriend,
I want someone older who can take charge.
THRILL
-They're such easy targets.
-She wants an older guy!
That's me!
What?
What is this?
-Nendo!
-Fine, I guess she's cute,
but Teruhashi is cuter.
Teruhashi? Who is that?
Wait, did he just say she was cuter?
There's no way
this dump of a school has someone cuter.
Hey, Nendo! What are you talking about?
You tell him!
That's not a fair comparison!
You can't compare her to an angel!
Wait, I lost?
This girl is ten times cuter than
the average girl.
Not a hundred times cuter!
-They're in different leagues!
-She's that cute?
Shut up, back off.
It's fine. I'm not that cute at all.
That's not true.
Imu, you're cute.
I am a little curious to meet
this Teruhashi.
This is nuts! I need to see her.
Oh my
How can she be so beautiful?
I can see why they call her an angel now.
I even see her wings.
No, those are just the clouds!
Even the sky is on her side?
I can't let anyone be cuter than me!
Look at her!
-I haven't lost yet!
-She's totally cute!
-Just look! Everyone is calling me cute!
-Dang. She's really cute.
It's Teruhashi.
What?
-She gives my life meaning.
-I thank god
-for living in the same world as her.
-That goes far beyond just cute.
A world that doesn't revolve around me?
I will never accept that!
Excuse me.
I wanted to go to the cafeteria,
but I got a little lost.
Could you please show me the way?
-Of course!
-Yes!
What?
-She asked me!
-I'm going to steal every guy
-fawning over her.
-Want to fight?
What's this commotion? Are you fighting?
She's even prettier up close!
Stop! Don't compliment the enemy!
-Of course not.
-We're just fooling around.
They made up!
They stopped fighting
just because this girl showed up.
My beauty causes conflict,
but her beauty goes beyond that.
She brings people together.
You want to go to the cafeteria?
I can show you the way.
-Oh!
-Oh!
This is the fastest way to the cafeteria.
-Oh!
-Oh!
What's this mysterious gasping sound
I keep hearing?
Your name is Imu, right?
That's such a cute name.
Your pigtails suit you!
-Really?
-They are very cute!
No! What am I getting happy for?
People only give compliments
when they think they're better than you.
I'll show her!
Is that so? But you're much prettier,
and your skin is so smooth.
Oh, stop.
I'm not wearing any makeup today.
No makeup!
-Let's get a meal ticket.
-That must be
-some kind of mistake.
-Oh!
Two noodle bowls coming up.
The cute freshman gets a fried shrimp
on the house.
Yes! Look at that!
When you're as cute as me,
they even give you free food at the
Is that a whole lobster?
-How could I lose?
-Let's go sit down.
A world that doesn't revolve around me?
-I can't handle this!
-Imu?
I'm sorry, but you must learn your place.
The world doesn't revolve around you.
It revolves around me.
See?
I told you she wasn't as bad as Teruhashi.
What are you looking at?
It's another day
of hiding my psychic powers.
Hey, Saiki. Are you psychic or something?
It has only been a few seconds.
Why is this happening?
Is it true?
Kaido said that you're a psychic.
Kaido did?
Yes, Saiki is psychic.
You fools! I got you!
It's April Fool's Day!
-That's not even a real joke.
-Oh, yeah, it's April 1.
-Good grief, so it's April Fool's Day.
-It was a lie?
Hey, did you hear? Matsuzaki is out sick.
Apparently, he has mumps.
-He's still at it?
-He's not a kid!
Enough of April Fool's Day jokes.
-What's up?
-Hey, Nendo!
Did you watch the news this morning?
Can you believe it?
Believe what?
Apparently, the Tokyo Sky Tower can
shoot a beam from its tip.
Even Nendo won't buy that.
Nice try. You can't fool me.
I know what this is.
-So even Nendo knows about this.
-Today is April 1,
Everyday Fool Day, right?
That's just you.
What are you talking about?
Today is March 31.
April Fool's Day is actually tomorrow.
Then the laser beam is for real?
Everyday fool.
I'm going to go check it out!
What an idiot. Right, Saiki?
You'll pay for this someday.
Hey, Kaido! Matsuzaki was looking for you
about spreading lies.
Sorry, I'm not falling for it.
You're just trying to scare me.
Unfortunately, you can't fool me.
Was it you?
-Matsuzaki!
-See?
Who has the mumps now?
I'm sorry.
People can't take a joke.
I guess I've had enough.
I don't want to use
April Fool's Day too much.
It seems like Kaido really got chewed out.
What an idiot.
Actually, he lies every day,
not just on April Fool's Day.
He needs to live more honestly like me.
Good grief, that was a close one.
-What was that?
-Shoot. I reacted without thinking.
What? A book was floating in the air?
Enough lying.
No, it really happened!
The book was floating in the air
for two or three seconds!
As if we would believe that.
You kept on lying earlier.
I swear on my magically bound right arm!
-Enough! You'll never believe me anyway!
-That's even less believable.
Yes, that's impossible. Bring proof.
Good grief. All right then.
It is partly my fault.
I guess I'll go console him.
The book should be around here.
I already got it back.
What are you doing?
Up here, little guy.
Over here!
Nendo! What are you doing up there?
I'm waiting for the Sky Tower
to shoot a beam.
I'm going to take a picture.
He still believes that?
I tricked such a trusting guy.
It's no wonder nobody believes me.
I just can't figure out
how this camera I bought works.
What's this button?
Oh, watch out, little guy!
This time, a camera stopped
in midair when it fell from the roof?
Yes! It completely stopped in the air!
It's true!
How long are you going to keeping this up?
I'm sorry.
If I didn't do anything,
he would have been hurt.
-So, it wasn't my fault.
-That doesn't make it credible.
While it was falling, it stopped,
then went "thunk"!
It completely stopped, then went "thunk"!
How is that possible?
It completely stopped, then went "thunk"!
How should we know?
Then drop the camera from the roof again.
If it stops midair again,
we'll believe you.
-But this isn't mine.
-It's fine. Let's do it, little guy.
Everyone, go to the roof!
We'll show you a camera stop
and then go "thunk"!
You sure showed us.
We saw it really go "thunk."
Nobody will believe anything I say now.
Yeah, look what you did.
Cameras are expensive.
It's not just my fault!
You saw it earlier too!
No, I didn't.
It just looked like
the camera fell normally from up here.
What? You didn't see it stop earlier?
-Then why did you say it stopped?
-Because you said that it did.
It stopped, didn't it?
Wait, don't tell me you were lying.
No, I wasn't lying.
I'll never lie to you again.
So, when is the Sky Tower
going to shoot its laser beam?
About that
-There it goes!
-What?
Good grief. We're even now.
Your allergies seem bad today.
Good morning, Ku. Yes, they are.
I only went out for a short while.
This is hell on earth.
You too, Dad?
Gross! You're leaking from every orifice.
Pollen kills.
Please do something, Kusuo. Heal my body!
I don't touch old-man body fluids.
Oh, fine then!
But this could happen to you!
Me? Get hay fever?
That's never going to
What is it Kusuo?
What is this?
RUMBLE
I may have an allergy.
Was that a sneeze?
But you never get sick.
I do get sick,
but I can cure myself immediately.
Raising my body temperature
with pyrokinesis kills the viruses.
But allergies occur when pollen
agitates your eyes and mucous membrane.
Even I can't filter the pollen
from the air while I breathe.
This pollen could actually
get someone killed.
Kusuo, I was wondering.
Why don't we call this psychic hay fever?
Take this seriously.
This is karma! You're on your own!
Anyway, look at this, honey.
-The boss gave me
-Depending on him is a waste of time.
-his old golf clubs.
-I'll have to do this on my
These are really nice.
-My golf clubs!
-Every time I sneeze, my reflexes trigger
my psychokinesis
and damages random objects.
-Is it really random?
-It's random.
This is bad. I'll have to hide
everything important to me.
Oh, no.
-There's no way it's random!
-It is.
My computer and games
Shut up. I'll fix those later.
That's not the problem.
If I don't stop sneezing,
I can't go to school.
Wait, have you two stopped sneezing?
Yes, we took medication.
Medication? You mean those small things
regular people swallow?
-I can't believe
-Don't you know anything
-such a small pill could cure sneezing.
-about medicine?
-How far medicine has come?
-You're lucky, Ku.
What?
Come on, that was a targeted strike!
I need to take it now.
Good grief, it seems like it worked.
-Pal,
-I need to keep my mask on
-and watch out for side effects.
-you have hay fever?
-I have hay fever too.
-If I start sneezing here,
-it will be a disaster.
-My sneezes are crazy.
-It's almost time for my next dose.
-I feel a sneeze coming on.
My sneezes are crazy.
Hey, watch me sneeze.
Why?
Who cares about your sneezes?
Give me back my pills.
It went away.
Stop wasting my time. Give me the pills.
I feel another one coming.
Watch me carefully.
Hurry up already.
I can't sneeze.
That's enough!
I need those pills.
Oh, no!
Not again.
What just exploded?
Please be Nendo's head.
What?
-The pills exploded of all things?
-That's on fire.
I need my mask back on.
Wait, where's my mask?
-It blew over there?
-Are you okay?
No, I'm not, thanks to you.
Move your foot!
I can't deal with this!
I'm going home!
I'll teleport out of here once I'm alone.
Wait up, pal!
-Why is Nendo following me?
-Hey! What's wrong?
I can't teleport while he's around.
I've got no choice. Sorry.
Okay, I lost him.
Not again. Hold it in.
Are you okay?
Where were you running off to?
I'm about to sneeze.
Why?
What's the point of showing me
your sneeze? Who cares?
That was close.
Why is it this bad when I'm indoors?
The moment I go out,
it'll be like ground zero.
I guess I'll have to use this.
This works every time.
-That's the culprit!
-Hold on. I'm going to sneeze.
-This is bad!
-Where are you going, pal?
I need to get far away from here.
This branch helps me sneeze
-for some reason.
-Stop chasing me!
And put that biological weapon down.
It's dropping pollen everywhere.
I need to teleport out of here.
I have no choice!
Sorry about this, but this is your fault.
Now there are no witnesses.
I need to
-Oh, no!
-What was that sound?
-It came from over there.
-Let's check it out!
I need to teleport,
but I must fix the wall first.
-Over there! Look at that smoke!
-To think I was saved by the pollen.
-My eyes! And my nose
-I think it's pollen!
I can't see anything!
Saved by the pollen.
The 31st Hidariwakibara-cho Cleanup
Competition is about to start.
So many people showed up to pick up trash.
You didn't know?
I moved here in middle school.
The Cleanup Competition is
a big event here.
You try to collect as much garbage
within a time limit.
-Each kind of trash is worth points.
-A Tsuchinoko is worth a lot.
It's a great event for everyone!
The winning team gets one million yen!
Wouldn't it be faster
to hire professionals?
Yes, there's a prize,
but everyone wants to clean up the city.
Obviously, everyone is here
for the money, you fool.
This guy is trash.
How many points for him?
-That's not true!
-What's the matter?
You're the previous
Garbage Champion, Hiroshi Gomi!
Aptly named.
Oh, you know who I am?
You hauled in an abandoned truck
in the last five minutes last year!
It was a miraculous comeback victory!
That's allowed?
Yes, I remember that.
Oh, you there.
While some may be after the money,
there are other volunteers
who are here to genuinely help.
Let's do our best for the one mil
I mean, the Cleanup Competition.
He almost said, "for the one million."
-What a turnout.
-Good grief. I'll have to do this.
Starting this year,
any large trash over five kilos
will score only up to 25 points.
-What?
-That's to be expected.
Let the 31st Cleanup Competition start!
Those streamers are litter.
All right! I'll get the trash
from the party poppers.
-Wait, Nendo!
-What?
The streamers and confetti are hard
to pick up and aren't worth many points.
You have to be selective
with picking up the trash!
-It's a battle of wits!
-It's a cleanup.
I guess it's time for this.
That's a broom!
What's with that pose?
You are partly right.
Who are you?
You were right to bring a broom,
but that's not how you use it.
What do you mean?
The competition gives you points
depending on what you bring.
That's why I'm choosing this.
A cigarette butt!
They are worth ten points for ten grams.
Ten times more than burnable trash!
That's right.
For broom wielders
who excel at sweeping up small trash,
cigarette butts are like gold.
Broom wielders?
Ignoring lowly burnable trash is a given.
This is a cleanup, right?
Do you want to team up?
Give us whatever cigarette butts
you gather, and we'll split the prize.
In short, we'll monopolize
the cigarette butts.
Is this guy serious?
Hand over the butts we gather?
That's cheating!
Then just throw away the garbage
you collect.
We'll just pick that up.
It's not against any rules.
That's true.
No, thank you!
We didn't come here to litter.
We came to clean!
You'll regret this.
Hairo, why did you say no?
I want to pick up trash with pride!
Normally,
you can't pick up trash with pride.
The guys began picking up
every piece of garbage they saw.
But Hairo couldn't ignore
the garbage that wasn't worth much,
so they lost a lot of time.
They were also held back
by a clumsy teammate.
They struggled to earn points.
There are only ten minutes left now.
Are you coming back from shopping?
This is tough.
We're about 300 points
behind the first place,
but we have over 500 points worth
of garbage here!
We can win if all of these get counted!
We'll see about that.
You!
What do you want?
We're not teaming up with you!
You didn't say that earlier.
Teaming up? That offer is off the table.
-I don't need you now.
-That can't be.
Why, Gomi?
I have a gambling addiction.
Everyone in this is trash!
Do you know what these are?
-Impossible!
-That's right.
These are all cigarette butts!
This is a kilo of diamonds!
So we're calling cigarette butts
diamonds now.
Ten grams of cigarette butts
is worth ten points,
so two kilos is worth 2,000 points.
Oh, no.
You wasted your time!
I see, so the bags are filled
with cigarette butts.
In that case, there's a chance
one of them is still lit.
-What?
-Hot!
That's hot!
They went up in flames!
-We have a chance!
-Good grief. I don't like standing out
and winning,
but I can't ignore their unfair tactics.
The Taniguchi family wins with
a score of 900 million and 23 points.
Unbelievable!
They discovered a dead Tsuchinoko.
The Taniguchi family will receive
the one-million-yen prize!
Did you hear about the ghost
in the music room?
What? No.
Apparently, you can hear someone
play the piano at night
when nobody is here.
Isn't that cliché?
But it seems real.
-That's crazy.
-More like creepy!
I overheard you talking.
-Leave the ghost to me!
-It's the pervert!
You hear a note from the music room.
When you open the door, you will see
on the piano keys a pool of blood!
SILENCE
Why aren't you reacting?
Just wipe up the blood then.
That's not the point!
A ghost in the music room?
Wasn't there someone who knows
about ghosts? I can't remember who it is.
Saiki.
-Please help me.
-It's a ghost!
Don't worry about this, I just got punched
when they caught me listening
by the girls' bathroom.
That's more frightening.
Can we talk, Saiki?
Good grief. What a pain.
I am begging you.
Come with me tonight
to exorcise the ghost in the music room!
Help you again?
I promised some people
that I will handle it.
The extra attention the ghost brings
is bad for me.
Good grief.
There's something exciting about
being at school at night!
I'm surprised.
I figured a coward like you
would be scared.
Are you kidding?
How can I get scared
when there are ghosts everywhere?
Most people would be.
I heard a piano, Saiki!
Who could it be?
Clairvoyance!
Nobody's in there.
-To the music room!
-Okay!
Stop right there!
Nobody is here.
But what can you see?
What are you seeing?
See for yourself with your psychometry.
What is it? Something bad?
-She's so cute!
-Who cares?
I see.
My piano playing is scaring the students.
That's because nobody can see you
except for this weirdo.
I didn't mean to scare anyone.
I just realized that I could touch
this piano for some reason.
Playing it really relaxes me.
You must be able to touch things
that meant something in your life.
What a cruel system.
Play as much as you like.
I'd love to hear a ballad.
-Really?
-No.
We can't just let her keep doing this.
That's true.
I'm sorry.
As a spirit medium, I can't just ignore
a ghost causing trouble for others.
What are you saying?
Now, please be gone.
Please! You're frightening everyone.
Will you please leave this place?
I'm begging you!
-What?
-You're trying persuasion?
That's right, he can't even touch ghosts.
You can come to my house!
Please! Just for a little bit?
Come on, I won't do anything!
Stay on point.
-Okay.
-You'll come to my house?
Over my dead body.
Nice ghost joke.
I'll stop playing.
I'm sorry for all the trouble.
Goodbye.
You don't have to stay over for long.
I feel kind of bad.
We didn't have a choice.
I can't be wasting my energy
over something I can't see.
-What? That piano!
-Keep going.
What are you doing?
They're going to get rid of it
because of those rumors.
But I already dealt with that yesterday.
-It wasn't just the piano playing.
-What?
They heard voices too.
There was a sad voice begging someone
to come over to his house.
-That's terrifying!
-That was you.
Saiki!
It was an old piano anyway.
It was bound to happen.
Now, you don't need to feel guilty.
Saiki.
Could you do me one last favor?
Ushimitsu's parents donated that piano.
That was 20 years ago.
She was such a good piano player.
But she passed away from an illness.
It was the piano she used to play.
I see.
Where's the piano?
He did a good deed.
Was he really that desperate
for her to come over?
It's huge.
NEXT TIME
Good grief, pollen is powerful.
Everyday Fool's joke?
What was he thinking?
Next time, I have to deal with
that troublesome freshman again.
And that stupid cat again.
What a pain.
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto