The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e20 Episode Script

1
-All creatures have a set lifespan.
-I can't eat ramen today.
I need to take care of something.
You're acting weird.
Is something going on?
Yes. I'm grabbing a meal with Chono.
Sorry, you two eat ramen on your own.
We weren't talking about ramen
to begin with.
I actually have plans too,
so I can't get ramen.
Nobody was talking about ramen.
I have prep classes
where an important battle
will determine the world's fate.
-Depending on the results of this fight,
-One's final moments come suddenly
-this might be the last time we meet.
-without warning.
-You might die?
-In the worst-case scenario
-Hey, little guy!
-What?
-That was close!
-Pay attention.
What's with this narration anyway?
-What?
-What?
All creatures have a set lifespan.
This refers not just to living things,
but also to nonliving things.
One's final moments come suddenly
without warning.
Lifespan.
I've been using these fake glasses
for ten years now anyway.
I've mentioned this before,
but the reason I wear these
is to seal away a particular power.
The ability to turn living things to stone
by looking at them.
This ability doesn't work
if I wear lenses.
But without them,
this is the result.
BAM
I can't restore petrified objects,
and the effect lasts for 24 hours.
How could I have prevented this?
Well, what's done is done.
I have to think about what to do.
They won't remember being turned to stone,
but a whole day will pass.
Kaido at least would be suspicious.
They almost never have plans,
but today of all days, they did.
So the people they made plans with
would be suspicious as well.
I have no choice.
She's here.
Kusuo, I'm here.
I have to ask a favor.
KUSUO'S ROOM
Aiura, I need your help.
Sure, I'll give myself
-to you!
-Go home.
You didn't want me for this?
But you said, "I need you"
-and "I'm home alone."
-Totally out of context.
Quit peeping, you pervert.
-Eek!
-That's my line.
You invited him too, Kusuo?
I need all of us for this to work.
Do you know why I called you?
You killed two people,
and you need to clean up.
-Not quite.
-You turned them into stone?
Right. Look behind you.
EEK
Took you long enough to notice.
-What do you want us to do?
-A cover-up mission.
BAM
For the next 24 hours,
you'll pretend to be these two
using my hypnosis.
Hypnosis can trick others
into mistaking someone's identity.
But it can't be used on oneself.
Toritsuka, you play Nendo.
Whoa.
Aiura, you be Kaido for a day.
I've never spoken to this guy.
It's fine.
I'll back you up, so don't worry.
Why do you get the easy job?
This isn't easy.
I'm in the most difficult position.
I have stooped so low
to ask you two for help.
That's not how you ask for a favor!
Kusuo, do you even need this guy?
-He's dead weight.
-Fine, I'll show you!
PK Academy Psychic Kids, move out!
You don't have to get so into it.
Sorry, I'm late.
The Nendo switcheroo mission begins.
Sorry for the wait. I was taking a dump.
I came ten minutes late,
figuring you'd take a while.
Smart as usual.
-You're the same too.
-The first meeting is a success.
He impersonates Nendo so well
that it's scary.
It's not hard to figure out
how he would act.
-Oh, right.
-What?
Your guardian spirit was Nendo's dad.
-Hey, Chono.
-What?
What the hell?
You haven't changed at all.
That's the usual Nendo?
If anything, Chono feels a little off
since he's wearing different clothes.
The next challenge is this.
-Inoue.
-Yes.
-Okazaki.
-Yes.
-Kaido.
-What's up?
-Watch your attitude. Take this seriously.
-Get serious!
Both of them got mad.
My bad.
I can't help it!
I don't know anything about this guy!
At the very least,
you should know not to talk like that.
I have to take his exam?
Hide your exam.
Hide it?
It's done.
I've filled it out
at Kaido's ability level.
-Seriously?
-I knew he will have an exam.
Later, for Kaido,
after he turns back,
I'll pretend to be prep school staff,
and have him send the exam to the school.
If I swap that with my exam,
that should make up for the lost day.
Just submit that.
Don't interact with the people around you.
It'll cause trouble.
This is easy.
Will she really be all right?
What is it?
-It's Chiyopipi.
-What? Chiyo
Yumehara is in the same prep class?
AT THAT SAME TIME
What is it, Riki?
You"ve been acting weird
ever since we ran into my fellow magician,
the Tsukiko Venus.
Am I interrupting?
No, not at all.
But it is really tough being a woman.
-I suppose so.
-Not in a sexual way,
but with those breasts,
I'm sure men stare.
What? Well
And it must hurt your shoulders.
-No, not really.
-Hey.
I can hold them up for you.
Oh, I mean, not in a sexual way.
What's wrong with you?
Hey, Kaido.
Did you call me Chiyopipi earlier?
Oh, no!
There was a Pikachu! In Pokémon Go!
Oh, okay.
One of my friends calls me that,
so I was confused.
Oh, is that so?
Well, I've got to jam.
-What's with you?
-They're hopeless.
Good grief. There are still 20 hours
until these two are back to normal.
I got some substitutes,
but it's totally failing.
I can still salvage this.
Toritsuka, pull it together!
-What's wrong? I'm fine!
-Look at yourself.
Hey, think about it rationally.
If this plan succeeds,
I'll think more highly of you,
and I will owe you a favor.
Compare that to those breasts
you won't get to touch anyway.
What's more important?
Think it through with that tiny brain.
Riki?
Putting that aside,
why is that when you take a dump,
you also pee?
That's too drastic a change.
Oh, he's back to normal.
-This is his normal self?
-It definitely is.
Next is Aiura.
-What the hell?
-It's Aiura.
What are you doing?
We were just hanging out,
talking about who was thinner,
comparing bodies,
-and here we are.
-Kaido, you're so skinny!
Why?
Changing his likeability
creates obstacles for us later.
If she mentions this to Kaido,
what will happen?
That would be bad!
Realize that sooner!
-But isn't it too late now?
-Get away from her.
-Do something to make her like you less.
-I'm sure you're thinner than me!
Oh, my god! I can't believe this.
Maybe I should confess
What?
-Get away, pig.
-That's overkill.
Well, at least it's back to normal.
-Should I say more?
-No. Cut it out.
Calling her a pig is more than enough.
You sure?
-It gets me excited!
-Whatever. Just do what I say.
Things were going so well
What's wrong, Kaido?
Get out of here! I can take you
What?
I am Jin, the Dark Lord of Destruction.
Kaido?
-You, little girl.
-Yes?
The one you were talking to
was Suzaku, another personality.
I am also yet another personality.
I see.
Forget about today.
Shun will not remember it, either.
Like that?
Not bad.
Yumehara knows
that Kaido can be like this.
-She should be convinced.
-Saiki!
-This is bad!
-What?
A lady showed up who looks like Nendo.
-Midori!
-Nendo's mom!
No, this isn't what you think!
That face!
Is that Nendo's mother?
Why is he freaking out?
To put it simply
PEOPLE WITH NENDO'S FACE
That's not simple at all!
This guy and Nendo's mom
used to be married,
and she spotted him now with a new woman.
Kota, a new girlfriend? Well, look at you.
-No, she's not
-She's so pretty.
Such large eyes, like a doll.
Your tastes in women haven't changed.
-What?
-What?
We should go, Riki.
Oh, sure.
Midori, wait! Give me another chance!
Your girlfriend is right there.
No, she's just a fellow magician.
Right. I have a boyfriend.
I've caused you a lot of trouble.
But I've changed
-Toritsuka.
-What?
-Stop them.
-What? There's no way!
Isn't this an important moment for him?
Exactly.
If they get back together here,
Nendo won't remember this,
even though he was right there.
-Do something!
-Oh, man.
I have to do it!
Sorry, but no.
-What was that? This place is leaking.
-It stopped.
Good. Nobody will speak
of this moment again.
The two spent the night
at their respective houses.
-Both of them
-Why are you naked?
perfectly performed their roles there
and successfully made it to the morning.
At school, the two delivered performances
worthy of the "Psychic Kids" title.
They blended into their surroundings
and went about their school life.
They didn't blend in at all.
Now it's less than ten minutes
until the petrification ends.
It's finally over. I'm exhausted.
-Good work.
-Me too.
Can you go away now?
How rude! After we worked so hard!
I got kicked by his sister
and had to use the men's bathroom.
Seriously, it was tough!
-Rain!
-Isn't that bad?
Wasn't it sunny yesterday?
-Well, you should clear up the rain.
-No way.
Are we going to fail because of the rain?
-What? Your glasses
-Did something happen?
I must have imagined it.
Anyway, I can't eat ramen.
-Saiki, why are you all wet?
-I'm exhausted. I can't eat ramen today.
THUD
MEOW
Oh, it's Warp.
What is it?
BEEP BEEP
Exactly 7:30 a.m. Thanks for waking me up.
What is it?
Warp is amazing. You're so sweet.
-What? What was that sound?
-Mr. Kuniharu, it is time to wake up.
If you would like to hear
today's schedule
-It talked!
-It talked!
Today's weather is cloudy.
It will rain during the morning.
There's a switch on the back of his neck!
You can switch
between human and cat speech.
-I don't care.
-You should care!
A cat talked!
That's not a cat.
It's a robot that guy made.
Because my mom is allergic to cats,
my brother created a cat-like robot.
But basically it's him.
I figured this
wouldn't be a normal cat robot.
That's right!
It's Warp's instruction manual.
That's so thick!
Like a super manga edition!
-I also recommend you read the manual.
-Wow, he can have a conversation!
With AI and voice recognition,
I am capable of simple dialogue.
Wow, Warp!
I'm your owner, Warp. Nice to meet you.
I don't understand.
I'm your mother, Kurumi.
Mother, pleased to meet you.
I'm your father, Kuniharu.
I don't understand.
Would you like me to search for
"I'm your father, Kuniharu"?
-That's not what I want!
-It can voice search.
That's strange, he heard Mom just fine.
If that's intentional,
it's far more intelligent
than you realize.
Look! He can connect to the web.
Let me try.
"On his front right paw,
press the left pad then bottom pad.
Repeat this twice."
-The back is a screen!
-Wow!
-That's scary! Turn it off!
-Surreal.
I feel like
there must be lots of other functions.
Right. Isn't this from earlier?
The alarm function.
Oh, so he wasn't just being friendly?
How sad.
Sorry, I'm happy
even if it's just a function.
Yes, you're still so cute.
Isn't he measuring your heart rate?
This too?
No, he's just being friendly.
-Faster than yesterday.
-He can't measure my heart rate.
It's totally measuring it!
It's rather useful.
Ku must have been thinking of our health
and added these features.
I'm happy that Kusuke was so thoughtful,
but the fact that Warp's behavior
is just caused by a computer program
makes me sad.
Such mixed feelings.
But he's still really cute.
"If you want a thorough exam,
press the third pad
on the left paw three times
and then the center button."
He can even do a blood test!
That's scary! I don't want that!
Aren't there cuter functions?
How about the camera function?
Warp's right eye is a camera.
Oh, really? How do I take photos?
He automatically takes a picture
whenever he hears the word "cute."
Wow, he's taken so many!
But this guy isn't cute at all!
That's you.
The pictures he takes are all uploaded
and visible to people around the world!
They're all laughing at me.
-I don't want this!
-This is cute too.
A music function!
I don't need my pet to play music.
No, he doesn't just play music.
First, you put in a disc.
That's a CD tray?
If you have Warp play back a CD,
he'll convert the lyrics to cat speech
and sing it for you!
That's pretty cute.
Right? If you plug headphones
into his left eye,
you can listen on your own.
Why is the jack there?
-There's also
-No more!
This is just a piece of electronics!
-It's not my pet!
-Hey, wait!
What is he, a child?
Oh, dear. Well, he'll come back
once he's hungry.
-He's a child.
-What?
I can't believe Warp doesn't actually
have any feelings for me.
I can't believe it.
Warp!
Put away the headphones.
Don't follow me!
You're just programmed to do that,
aren't you?
I'm not blaming you.
I was stupid to think
that a robot could be a pet.
Robots don't have feelings.
Sorry, I said too much.
I don't understand.
Would you like me to search for
"You're just programmed"?
Go away!
Rain! Oh, right.
The weather forecast said it would.
Oh, Warp. You can't get wet!
You're a robot. What?
So that's what happened.
He wouldn't leave my side
even in the rain.
He's family.
I like that he can be unpredictable.
That's definitely not because
of a program.
Yes. Don't you need to go to work?
I forgot!
Too much trouble. I won't tell him.
Ku, shouldn't you be at school?
Let's do a countdown at my place
on New Year's Eve!
Yes, sounds good! Let's jump too!
Yes, I'll ask my parents!
Hairo, can you stay awake until midnight?
You pass out at 8 p.m. on school trips.
I'll be fine if I psych myself up!
Saiki, what about you?
Of course, I'm not coming.
Good grief. How did I get roped into this?
Kaido called my house, so I had no choice.
Kusuo, go.
My brother is home, so I don't really
want to be there anyway.
I'll leave once everyone falls asleep.
Hey, Saiki.
You look tired.
Come in. Nendo is already here.
Sorry, I'm yawning so much.
I didn't sleep much last night.
I see.
Yesterday, I went to a secret meeting,
the "Dark Committee."
It's held at the end of the year
among the 16 chosen ones.
-Its members are
-Stop, you're putting me to sleep.
The truth is
I was so excited about today
that I couldn't sleep.
-What a child.
-But don't worry.
I'll stay up until midnight.
Come in. Nendo, Saiki is here.
You're late, pal.
You look sleepy too.
Don't sleep in my bed!
Sorry, I was up late playing games.
Don't worry,
I can stay up for New Year's Eve.
You sure?
Who is it? What? It's so heavy.
Aren, what's wrong?
Sorry, I was spacing out.
I stayed up late.
-You look tired.
-What happened?
Since I was coming here,
I had to take care of
some things beforehand.
Take care of what?
New Year's biker gang brawl.
It's not the New Year yet.
Don't worry. I can stay up for New Year's.
All that's left is Hairo.
Pretty unusual for him to be late.
Hairo? I saw him outside.
Hairo!
Sorry, I suddenly passed out.
You look tired, Hairo.
You stayed up late too?
No, I slept for eight hours.
Then don't complain.
I haven't slept at all!
Sorry.
All I did was run 50 kilometers,
practice swings 3,000 times,
and do 500 push-ups and sit-ups each.
I'm so out of shape!
I said too much.
Go home and rest.
But I will stay up until midnight!
Come on, you guys! It's New Year's Eve!
And we still have five hours left!
Don't worry, this is important to us.
-Yes!
-A piece of cake.
We'll keep each other awake.
Shun?
You too!
I fell asleep?
If we mess up, we'll all pass out.
I might be able to leave pretty early.
Saiki seems awake at least.
-What?
-I'm sleepy too, guys.
That's all of us!
I'm actually wide awake, but
I don't want to have to wake you all up.
If we mess up, we'll all fall asleep.
I think I'd just sleep through an alarm.
My parents are away
on a trip to Hawaii, so they can't help.
-They're like celebs.
-Five more hours.
We can just play cards to pass the time!
Let's play Old Maid.
All right! I'll go first.
Go, Nendo!
Wake up! Not you too!
What? I'm up. I was just resting my eyes.
You were snoring!
I was just strategizing!
You were snoring,
and literally saying "zzz"!
I didn't know people actually said "zzz."
Hold on!
I'm going to wash my face.
SLAM
Wake up!
Four more hours.
The year is almost over.
-Wake up, Nendo.
-What?
This coffee woke me up.
I've overcome the worst now too.
What? Kuboyasu!
I passed out again.
Time for some exercise!
This will wake me up!
That's why you were tired to begin with.
-How's this?
-Looks good.
Oh, it's 8 p.m. Hairo's bedtime.
Maybe he'll just fall asleep now.
He did!
And in the middle of a push-up!
Hairo, wake up!
What? He won't wake up. Hairo!
Damn, he won't wake up
no matter what we do.
You can't break a habit, I guess.
Haven't seen his ass in a while.
Hairo is done for.
At this rate, we'll all end up like that.
I have an idea.
Three hours left.
Why don't we take turns sleeping?
We'll have 45 minutes each!
I guess, with four people,
we don't all need to stay awake.
Okay! Let's nap!
Wake me up when it's time.
Hold on!
Why do you get to go first?
Then we'll decide by rock-paper-scissors!
The winner goes first!
One, two, three.
All right, good night.
I don't need to wait 45 minutes.
They're all asleep.
I can go home now
and spend a peaceful New Year's Eve.
What? Did I fall asleep after that?
No, it's still New Year's Eve,
and this is my room.
Was that a dream?
For a second I thought
that I had fallen asleep at Kaido's
and slept through New Year's Eve.
Because of that weird dream,
I still feel tired.
What? Wait. Was that dream
a premonition?
Hello?
Ku, you have a call from Kaido!
Tell him I'm too tired.
TRANQUILITY
A QUIET AND STILL STATE.
THEREFORE, THIS EPISODE IS BROUGHT TO YOU
WITHOUT DIALOGUE.
SAIKI
WEARING A GERMANIUM RING
BLOCKS ALL THE TELEPATHY
THAT KUSUO HEARS IN HIS HEAD
FROM HUMANS AND ANIMALS.
NEW YEAR'S GIF
NEW YEAR'S GIFT FROM YOUR OLDER BROTHER
NEW YEAR'S GIF
60,000 YEN
FORTUNE TELLING LOTTERY
34
58
GREAT FORTUNE
AVERAGE FORTUNE
TERRIBLE FORTUNE
GREAT FORTUNE
GREAT FORTUNE
TERRIBLE FORTUNE
I hope I can spend this year in peace.
-There's Saiki!
-Saiki!
We were looking for you!
What are you doing, pal?
I'm sure he couldn't stop gasping
at how I looked in a kimono and ran away.
I'll pray for good luck this year too.
The heavens are on Teruhashi's side
this year again.
NEXT TIME
I've lost count at this point,
but a new year has begun again.
I must have courage!
I'm going to give Kaido
chocolates this year!
Oh, it's Yumehara.
I'm surprised,
but that's the next episode.
Stay tuned.
Subtitle translation by Takuya Sawaoka