The Disastrous Life of Saiki K. (2016) s02e22 Episode Script

1
Rocky road!
I've got a lead now.
Not bad, new kid.
That's a cheap strategy.
I'm ready to ditch these guys.
One, two, three, shoot!
Yes! I won with paper!
I played rock too many times.
Pineapple!
Still have the lead.
Army!
We go up to army where I'm from.
You can't add army to it!
One, two, three, shoot!
No more army for you!
Sicilian.
-Pizza.
-Pizza!
You can't add pizza!
We used pizza at my grade school.
I won!
Don't add any bullshit.
Almond Sicilian
-pizza.
-No! Get out of here!
You got greedy! That's a foul!
-No, I'm safe.
-You're out, idiot!
-What's with them?
-How weird.
Time to leave.
THE NEXT DAY
We had complaints from nearby residents.
A group of four students
wearing our uniforms
were shouting about pineapples and pizzas
and pineapple apple pens.
-We didn't say apple pen.
-Don't you sass me, boy!
You represent our school
when you're in uniform!
Be careful what you do!
-Okay.
-Okay.
Looks like we bothered
some people yesterday.
We should lay low.
Where's my pal?
He left early yesterday too.
Completely ridiculous.
Why do I have to get in trouble too?
What's most upsetting is how
he lumped me in with those idiots.
It totally ticks me off.
Absolutely deplorable.
As someone who doesn't want to stand out,
I can't be getting in trouble.
I'll stop walking home with them.
Hey there, Saiki!
Are you on your way home?
This is our first time
walking home together.
You're just following me
without my permission.
I usually have the team practice.
I'm glad I ran into you.
I'm not.
But why aren't you
with your three amigos today?
Not you too.
They follow without my permission too.
I guess it's fine.
Walking home alone draws attention too.
Saiki.
Hairo won't draw attention
or disturb the residents.
Is this your usual time walking home?
What's he carrying?
Thank you.
What creature is that?
It's my pleasure!
Oh, he's just helping an elderly person.
To the station, right?
Thank you.
I was a little confused for a second.
Sorry, Saiki.
Do you mind if we stop by the station?
I can't ditch him now.
-I'm impressed.
-Sorry, Saiki.
I've never seen someone be so helpful.
-I feel bad if you need to be somewhere.
-What now?
Not again. A lost kid?
You lost your mom?
Don't worry! We'll find her.
Let's take this boy to the police box
by the station.
Do what you want.
Sorry about that.
I just can't ignore people in need.
You're quite the good Samaritan.
He should be the psychic.
Why English?
I'll get your balloon.
A crowd has formed.
-Thank you.
-Thank you, sir.
Thanks for bearing with me.
Good grief, finally.
Let me buy you a drink.
You want to buy me a drink
after being that generous with your time?
Is this what it's always like for him?
That would be tiring.
What? Is it always like this?
No way! Do I look like a saint?
I don't go out of my way
to do good deeds. There!
But you are.
Help!
It's a robbery!
This isn't a show!
Oh, no! Saiki, get the police.
Leave this to me!
I have a bad feeling.
Stop right there!
I'll be your hostage.
Who the hell are you?
You can see that I'm unarmed.
Release the woman and take me instead.
You only need one hostage.
Yes, but you're built like a tank!
Stay away!
You're kind to a fault.
He stopped? Now's my chance!
Take that!
I got him! Over here, officer!
How ridiculously reckless.
-I wanted to avoid this kind of commotion.
-Thank you.
I just wanted to walk home quietly.
Hairo and Saiki caught a robber!
Saiki did? Wow!
They are in the newspaper!
I get Hairo, but it's cool Saiki did too!
Great job, Saiki!
We're proud of you, Saiki!
There are some reporters here
to interview you.
That was quite an ordeal.
I take it all back.
I was better off walking home
with the idiots.
I have my afternoon off again today
if you want to walk together.
Imu Rifuta strove to be
the prettiest girl in school,
but her dreams were shattered
when she met Kokomi Teruhashi.
Let's see what she's doing now.
Time to check.
Lord Mugami updated his blog!
He's starring in another movie.
-I'll buy ten early bird tickets.
-She has become a geek.
Kokomi, I heard Lord Mugami
is doing a movie.
Yes. "Lord Mugami"?
Sorry, I meant your brother!
You surprised me. You called him
Lord Mugami like his fans.
I didn't! I just happened to hear
about the movie from the news.
I see.
That was close!
I almost outed myself as
a Lord Mugami fan A.K.A a Mugamin!
I can't let that happen.
That's because
I love Kokomi too!
If she found out I was a Mugamin,
she will think I was only using her
to get close to Lord Mugami.
I tried to gauge her opinion once
by making it seem like I was a fan.
Your brother is so cool.
I might become a fan.
Well
Okay.
She seemed pretty put off.
That's why I can't let her find out!
Has your brother started filming?
Not that I care.
They started filming two days ago.
He was reading the script last night.
What are you writing down?
Oh, this? I was so uninterested,
I started doing homework.
We can talk about something else.
It's okay! Please go on!
-It's good white noise.
-White noise?
If you're not interested,
let's not talk about it.
You never know who's listening.
You're right. It's a secret after all.
Just between us!
No, other people know.
What?
-Go away.
-When can you set it up? I'm always free.
You can ask me, but not Teruhashi?
I don't mind asking Saiki.
I'll use every connection I have.
Like a manga author
asking their favorite idol
to do the theme song for their anime!
I have no connections with him.
People will get the wrong idea.
I don't even know him.
You don't know his number?
You're so useless.
Then ask Kokomi that you want
-to meet Lord Mugami!
-Let me talk to Lord Mugami.
-Please!
-I don't want to in the least.
Actually, I know where Lord Mugami is.
You can come with me!
You at least know of him, don't you?
Then introduce him to me!
How do you
How do I know where he is?
Kokomi showed me a picture of him
at the filming location.
I see, that's how.
So when I compared the background
buildings to sightings on fan sites,
I was able to specify his location.
She's dangerous.
Oh, my god! They are really here!
-Good grief.
-Where's Lord Mugami?
Lord Mugami
-I'll die!
-That was quick.
-They need you for rehearsal.
-Okay.
Oh, my god! He stood up!
He just stood up.
Oh, my god, he's walking!
Oh, my god! I'll die!
I really will die!
He's just walking.
Watch the dog poop there.
That was close.
He dodged the poop! Oh, my god!
That was a live poop dodge!
What a god!
You're being ridiculous.
Go say hi so we can leave.
Wait, I can't right now!
Then I'm leaving.
What's all the racket?
What's Four-eyes doing here?
What's that girl
doing cosplaying as Kokomi?
Oh, that's just her uniform.
She must be with Four-eyes.
Could I get five minutes?
Is that your girlfriend?
No. Back off.
How long did it take?
This shameful animal who had the audacity
to fall in love with my beautiful sister
has finally decided to face reality.
Congratulations, Four-eyes.
You finally snapped out of it.
Don't worry, I'll take good care
of Kokomi.
You snap out of it.
What about you?
Can you see now he's just a perv?
-It's too late. She's dead.
-My final breath
Whatever, she got what she wanted.
I'm leaving.
Anyway, looks like you got yourself
a cute girl who's way out of your league.
-We're not dating.
-Cute?
Do you mean me?
-She's resurrected.
-Yes.
Still no comparison to my Kokomi.
We've actually met before
when I was with Kokomi.
You know Kokomi?
Let's have a double date then.
No way! A double date?
He must know
Saiki and Kokomi's relationship,
-so my date is Lord Mugami?
-Okay?
Kokomi won't go out with me,
but she might if it's with friends.
I would love to!
What's wrong?
She's your girlfriend!
Where are you going?
Next time, an exciting double date!
Over my dead body.
We're out of cooking wine.
Honey, could you go buy some?
No problem!
-Kusuo!
-You're making him go?
Good grief. Just go yourself.
If I go, your mother will be lonely.
That's not true.
-Are you Kusuo?
-Oh, my.
There are two of you.
It's bilocation.
-So cute! It's like you're twins.
-Is he really cute?
-And it's not just two.
-What?
-There are 37.
-That's creepy!
How dare you call your own son creepy!
Close the door! That's terrifying!
-What is this?
-I'm doing an experiment.
I will need to master this ability
to stop the volcano from before.
-There's a few things I've learned.
-Get rid of them, Kusuo. It's not him!
First, each of my selves
can only create one clone.
To make multiples, I need to order
my doubles to make doubles.
Creating a double requires a lot of power,
so I need to take
off my power limiter to use it.
Once created, the clone will remain
even after the limiter is put back on.
While the clone is subject to any weakened
state or damage sustained by the host,
damage to the clone won't affect the host.
The clone receives most powers
and abilities of the host,
but their appearance will be random.
What is it, Honey?
Who's that old man?
And the appearance worsens
as copies are made.
-That is the seventh one.
-Who is that?
This is the tenth.
That's just an old man.
-Twentieth.
-Different art style!
-A lot is lost by number 25.
-He's completely different!
By 30, they're not even human.
That's an alien!
And this is number 37.
Okay, but they're still
all your clones, right?
Yes, they can all do everything I can.
I can have Number 37 teleport you to work.
Is this hell?
-I could take you.
-It talked!
They all have their own personalities.
Some are rebellious.
This is the trickiest part of bilocation.
Although, that doesn't mean they
hold any animosity or get violent.
So it should work.
You're out of cooking wine?
Yes, we are.
Wait, you're not
I'll have a clone go buy it.
It's first assignment
Are you crazy? It'll cause a riot!
Not them, obviously.
Stop acting like that.
I'll use the one who resembles me
the most, number four.
-Hey.
-Good grief, what a pain.
But I guess I have to.
He's a lot like Kusuo!
Okay, here we go.
Your destination is the store
400 meters away.
Go buy cooking wine and come back.
Quit nagging me.
You didn't have to tell me what to do.
He seems fine.
He sounds like Ku.
But he's different if you look closely.
Like?
For example,
he walks pigeon-toed.
You're right.
He also has different tastes.
I'll buy a strawberry mochi.
Also, his teeth are really dirty.
Good grief, who cares?
I may be a clone,
but we're still different.
Like the shape of my you-know-what.
He's also vulgar.
See. While you were yakking, I arrived.
That was easy.
Getting there is easy.
This is where it gets tricky.
Get out if anything happens.
-Stop worrying so much.
-Welcome.
Hey, pal!
Get out of there.
Where are you going, pal?
I was just on my way over to your place.
Wait, you seem more pigeon-toed,
and your teeth are dirty,
and you look like
you want strawberry mochi. Are you okay?
How can he see that so fast?
Your face looks different too.
Are you really my pal?
Nendo is going to notice.
But those are your glasses, so it is you.
Let's go get ramen.
What is wrong with him?
Anyway, come back now, he's too dangerous.
But the cooking wine.
-Forget about that, get away from him.
-Let's get ramen.
Come on. Ramen.
Where are you going, pal?
There's trouble. He's following me.
Is there a ramen place over this way?
Can I teleport?
No, there are still people around.
-I have an idea.
-Hey. Come on.
-Okay, I can do that.
-Come on. Hey.
-There should be fine.
-Hey. What?
Hey, what's that?
Okay, switch with me when he looks away.
He's not looking away.
Is there something over there, pal?
-Just look!
-Good grief.
What are you doing?
This will be faster.
Stop that, you idiot!
What was that?
Something fell.
That was close. That could've hurt.
Are you okay, pal?
Good grief, at least we managed
to switch places.
My clones aren't ready yet.
I'll need to work on them some more.
Looks like I'll have to deal
with these guys myself for now.
Alright, it's ramen time.
-Luckyman.
-No, Giorno!
Don't you know
what Gold Experience Requiem does?
It negates all attacks! It's awesome!
That doesn't matter when you're lucky.
That's not fair!
If he's lucky every time,
he would be invincible!
That's what I'm saying.
No comedy!
-See you, pal.
-Story only.
-What about Arale?
-That's a comedy!
Good grief, I'm finally free
from those annoyances.
Hello, Kusuo.
Sorry to sneak up on you,
but do you have a moment?
This one's worse.
You don't seem that surprised.
Did you notice I was following you?
-What do you want?
-Sorry, but I followed you.
To recount your actions,
you left school at 3:35 p.m.
with Shun Kaido and Riki Nendo,
who began debating the strongest
character in Jump.
You did not get involved.
You stopped by the store at 3:57 p.m.,
and Nendo bought a rice ball
and three batteries.
You took all the coffee jellies
but returned them to the shelf.
-You then returned home at 4:17 p.m.
-Terrifying.
There was nothing suspicious.
Good, now go home.
Not today, anyway.
I have been watching you every day
for the last six months.
I've come to share my results with you.
May I have a moment?
KUSUO'S ROOM
I can't believe it.
I'm actually in your room.
It's the first time I've been invited over
anywhere since transferring.
May I take this as
a sign of your friendship?
No, you just barged in on your own.
Could we take this inside?
I have actually been over to your house
once before in elementary school.
I believe it was your birthday,
and I drank too much juice
and peed my pants.
You're always peeing yourself.
Are your parents here?
I would like to apologize for before.
No way. They would out me right away.
You have an older brother, don't you?
I would like to meet him.
No way. He would out me right away.
That's enough small talk.
Can I get to the matter at hand?
Hurry up already.
There were four times
in the last six months
where I found you suspicious.
What's with the hand?
I've come for explanations.
You have been normal otherwise.
You go home with Nendo, Kaido,
and sometimes Kuboyasu.
You stop by the store,
pick up coffee jellies
and return them before leaving.
This has been your basic routine.
So much time on coffee jelly?
It was the same at school.
Besides going to the restroom, you spend
all your time with Nendo and the others.
You head straight for the cafeteria
for lunch, glancing at coffee jellies.
You ate your lunch and returned.
This was your routine.
I'm always looking at coffee jellies.
However,
there were four suspicious occasions
that I witnessed.
The first time was November 14,
you were walking with Nendo and Kaido,
when your glasses broke.
Oh, then.
Do you remember?
I was following you then.
You were walking home as usual,
stopping by the store
and staring at the coffee jelly as usual.
Then your glasses suddenly broke.
What I saw next, I couldn't believe.
A sumo wrestler walked right
in front of me.
Good job.
After he passed,
the three of you were gone.
I lost you.
I couldn't find you anywhere.
That was occasion one.
I had no proof of anything,
so that is the end of it.
But it was the first time
I lost anyone I was tailing.
Of course. You couldn't have found me.
I knew you were watching me.
The sumo wrestler was no coincidence.
I teleported him in front of you
to block your sight.
This was only suspicious,
and it doesn't prove that you are psychic.
The second suspicious occasion
It's a waste of time.
February 27.
You were walking home with Hairo.
Oh, that.
You remember, right?
You were involved in a crime,
and even made the paper.
You happened
upon a convenience store robbery.
I was actually there as well.
He saw that too? This is bad.
I saw everything.
What was most curious was how
the robber froze suddenly
when he was attacking Hairo.
Suspicious, I turned immediately
to look at you.
That's when I saw it.
You were holding your arm out
toward the robber.
I'm done for.
And behind you was a sniper
who fired a tranquilizer round.
Good job, sniper.
Just kidding.
I knew you were watching me then too.
So I teleported the sniper.
So it was not you but the sniper
who stopped the robber.
-But that's strange as well.
-How?
Why did you make it into the paper
with Hairo when you did nothing?
The only explanation is that
you used your powers.
Of course I didn't.
In any case, this did not lead
to any proof.
But there's more.
It's no use.
I'm always on alert at school
or walking home.
I can never be caught off guard.
This time I changed tactics
and decided to watch you on your day off.
No, he watched me on my day off?
When?
It was Sunday, April 23.
I waited in front of this house
for you to leave.
You came out eight hours later.
That long?
There was something different about you.
That was my clone buying the cooking wine.
I didn't notice Akechi
because it wasn't me.
Looking back now, there was something
very off about you then.
Your face was different,
your teeth were gross,
and you were walking pigeon-toed.
You didn't even glance
at the coffee jelly,
and your left scapula
was two centimeters lower.
You were totally different.
I didn't even notice that.
I followed after you
when Nendo appeared.
Then I saw a pot fall towards Nendo.
Just when it was going to hit him,
I saw something unbelievable.
The pot changed directions mid-air.
It wasn't the wind.
The pot ignored the laws of physics
as it fell.
I knew that I finally witnessed you
using your psychic powers.
That is because there
were only me, you, Nendo,
and a man who looked like a magician
at the scene!
Good job, magician.
If it weren't for the magician!
Unfortunately, even my clones
are on high alert.
It's no use.
Unlike Kusuke and Nendo
whose thoughts I can't read, yours I can.
It's actually easier because
of how much more you think.
Tailing me is useless.
So that didn't prove
anything definitively either.
We come to the last suspicious point.
I told you it's no use.
This wasn't a time I followed you,
but it was a lot of trouble
tracking them down.
I only had my memory to go on.
I found the sumo wrestler,
sniper, and magician
I ran into them while tailing you and
questioned them.
When I asked them about those days,
they all said the same thing.
They were suddenly teleported somewhere
then suddenly back.
They all thought it was a dream.
That's no surprise since it's impossible
to appear here hundreds of miles away
from where they were.
If they could, they would be psychics.
Don't you agree, Kusuo?
Let's not beat around the bush.
I want to know the truth.
What happened then?
What did you do to us that day?
KUSUO
Finally, some quiet.
What do I do now? He's figured it out.
I petrified him to give me time to think,
but is there a way of reversing this?
Do I just have to confess?
You're a psychic, aren't you?
Aren't you? Tell me.
Are you afraid of others finding out?
Don't worry, I won't tell a soul.
It might not seem like it,
but I'm not talkative.
The other day I caught Uchiyama
from Class Two wearing a bra to school,
and he asked me to keep it a secret.
And I have.
Oh, but this doesn't count.
No, he's going to out me for sure.
And I can't have that.
Especially to him.
SAIKI
Wake up, Ku! Breakfast is ready.
Good morning, Kusuo.
Good morning, Ku.
KUSUKE SAIKI, AGE 8
Sleeping in, Kusuo?
Sorry, but I already finished.
-Honestly. I'm the winner of today's
-Ku, you take your time, okay?
-breakfast speed-eating contest.
-You're already done?
I lost again.
How could a child genius
with an IQ of 218 like me lose?
IQ doesn't matter for speed-eating.
And you don't look
like a genius right now.
You used your powers to stuff it all
in your mouth!
KUSUO SAIKI, AGE 6,
1ST GRADE, ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
You're lying!
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
Awesome!
How did you do that?
Do it again.
Wow, Takashi!
NEXT TIME
Do you have a moment? It's Touma Akechi.
Back when I
was in elementary school with Kusuo,
I was Touma Asumi.
The next episode will continue the story
about when we were in elementary school.
Oh, but I got turned to stone.
You talk too much.
Subtitle translation by Zensho Yamamoto