The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e01 Episode Script

Captain Underpants and the Frenzied Farts of Flabby Flabulous

1 [light music] [male narrator] Meet George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
-Ew, what? -[narrator] Remember that, now.
They are fourth graders at Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, home of the Purple Dragon Sing-A-Long Friends, where you might hear them described as [George] Disruptive! [Harold] Bad attituded! [narrator] But we think of them as smart and sweet [Harold] Know my rule: Please stay off the dirt.
[narrator] and a bit silly.
Silliness that can get them in a lot of trouble "Smell your own stinky feet"? [screams] [narrator] with this guy, school principal Mr.
[screaming] -Did you call me? -No.
-Well, 'cause I thought I-- -No! Your mother called.
I'm in a meeting! So George and Harold make comic books -[George] We're cool! -[Harold] Me too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to Blah, blah, blah, blah! So they got a Hypno-Ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants! [Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet You're back where you began Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now, this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins -[Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! [clock ticking] Are are we supposed to talk? No! You're out there being a disturbance to the world while you're supposed to be in P.
! [whistle blowing] Uh, we have a note from the doctor.
That note is from a vet! I was feeling sheepish.
My dogs hurt.
I was catatonic.
[Harold] I felt eel.
[George] My throat was "horse.
" I was elephant.
[laughing] -That doesn't really -Yeah.
[narrator] We apologize for the bad puns.
If you would like these seconds of your life back, stuff marshmallows in your mouth.
Nothing will happen.
But you got marshmallows.
[humming] [humming continues] Yeah.
Aha! Rule number 6,324.
"It is against the rules for any student to ride a water buffalo or any type of bison to the--" Wait.
[mumbling] Aha! "Incomplete P.
credits may be cause for indefinite Saturday detentions.
" -You just wrote that in there! -P.
! But Mr.
Meaner, the gym coach, doesn't like us.
Nobody likes you! -We like us.
-Me too.
Isn't there any possible thing we could possibly do to possibly get out of P.
, possibly? [buzzer blares] -Aah! -[Mr.
Meaner] Heads up.
If you flabby flabs want to pass P.
, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah [clears throat] you will need to move the scale to "Pass P.
" [brass fanfare plays] [bell dings] If you are unable to do so, you [grunts] flabby flabs, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, could repeat gym for up to 22 years.
Twenty-two years more or total? Hey! This is gym.
No math.
Uh, I don't think we can stay in elementary school for 22 years.
Why not? I did.
And no math! Okay, Erica, we'll start with you.
Meaner, while perusing the school's bylaws in an attempt to serve justice, I find my extracurricular athletics, aka modern dance class, can and will exclude me from said proposed activities.
-I'm out.
-All right, Jessica, you're up.
Actually, um, Mr.
Meaner? [chuckles] We are having the Festival of Good Har, and my har is so good -"Har"? -Har.
-"Har"? -Har.
-Hair? -Har.
-"Har"? -Har.
-Hair? -Har.
-Hair! -Har.
-[scoffs] I, like, have a note from my har stylist -that I can't mess my har here.
-Huh? So yeah.
[grumbles] Which way? [groans] I guess that just leaves you three.
Those two, actually.
I will be leaving shortly.
You think you're pretty smart, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Don't ya, Sneedly? -Yes.
[narrator] Melvin Sneedly, in fact, is very smart.
From a young age, Melvin displayed immense talent at designing and building contraptions that are actually beyond the reach of modern science.
But we're ignoring that.
He's also a snively grade-grubbing tattletale.
They got a frog! I present the Pumpitupinator 2000.
For a better body.
[dramatic music] Nice save, Melvin.
We owe ya.
Get your filthy hands away! Go, team.
With this, I will be able to accelerate and protract muscular cell growth and produce -[grunting] -Huh? [Melvin] produce [machine whirring and beeping] [electricity sparking] [grunts] [bell dings] massive muscle strength.
[grunts] [gasps] [grunts] Aah! [vocalizing] [screams] I'm free! [chattering] [playful music] [wheels squeaking] -Melvin! -Wait up! Can we please use your Pumpitupinator to get out of P.
? No.
Yesterday you ruined my presentation.
The Time Toad 2000 is able to leap back and forth in the space-time continuum.
[both snoring] And it is powered by a single element found only in peanut butter.
[both] Peanut butter? Mmm.
The molecular basis of random change in gravitational impulse drive engages forces previously unknown.
And now to add the peanut butter.
[clanging] Huh.
How is-- uh What? [bell dings, toad croaks] Huh? [shrieks] [George laughs] [screams] Didn't have breakfast.
We were hungry.
-[scoffs] -[both grunt] [whistle blows] All right, flabby flabs! Since the strength meter is broken-- -We can leave? -You can do laps.
Carrying Brunhilda.
[narrator] Brunhilda was a couch so heavy, it had been the scourge of students since forever.
Some say it contained the mummified bodies of the last 95 gym teachers, going back some 400 years.
Others said it was just full of coins, which it was.
Ten laps around the gym and leave it-- Right where it is? Ah, great idea, Mr.
Uh, yeah, I thought so.
You did it again.
No wonder you teach gym.
Now get to it! Yep, yep, yep, yep.
I'm refilling my drink.
This [grunts] is not gonna be easy.
Harold, we don't have to move it.
It's already right where it started.
Right where it started? Oh! Oh, oh, yeah.
[laughs] In that case, good job.
[narrator] In that case, George and Harold did what they always do when they found a loophole or skirted some responsibility-- they made a comic book.
[rock music] [male comic narrator] Once, there was a skinny guy named Flabby.
But he had a huge butt.
And he loved it.
It was like his bestest friend.
"I'm taking you for a walk!" But he thought people with small butts were dumb and missing out.
"We're having lots of fun.
" "No, you're missing out and dumb.
" Even though Flabby was happy with his big butt, people made fun of him, and they called him "Flabby Flabulous.
" He liked that name and got T-shirts made, but nobody bought 'em.
That made him really mad, so he went around town, and he crushed all T-shirt stores.
Then he crushed Captain Underpants' favorite underwear store, and who was in it? Captain Underpants! "You can't crush buildings! And especially underwear stores!" And Flabby said, "Yes, I can, because I am!" "Well, stop, Flabby Flabulous!" Captain Underpants tried to fight him.
He couldn't even get past Flabby's big butt.
"I know what to do! I will give him a wedgie power.
" Captain Underpants pulled a extra pair of underwear from his utility waistband.
"They are too small.
" So he looked for something bigger to give him a wedgie.
Luckily, there was an underwear factory, and their flagpole had a huge pair of underwear.
Captain Underpants was about to grab the underwear when Flabby made a big fart.
Captain Underpants flew back to try again, but Flabby blasted him right through the panels of the comic book.
Flabby didn't see him enter the next page, got surprised, and Captain Underpants got Flabby stuck in a huge smokestack on a factory.
Flabby couldn't stop his fart, and finally, kaboom! He launched into space and flew all the way to Uranus, where the aliens there loved big butts and his was the biggest.
He was like a god.
[chuckles] And so he stayed.
The end.
[both laughing] So good.
Let's go make copies.
[narrator] But as George and Harold exited the gym, Mr.
Meaner came back with his leaky soup pot of soda.
Kids, don't drink soda from a leaky soup pot.
[burps] [screams] [grunts] Gah! You made me spill my drink! -[Mr.
Meaner] Can't even-- -We didn't mean to.
Report to the yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, principal's office! -But we-- -Now! Huh? "Captain Underpants and the Frenzied Farts of Flabby Flabulous.
" [laughs] [dramatic music] [gasps] [narrator] You know those people who can't take a joke? -[screams] -[narrator] So do we.
So, in my office two times in one day.
That's-- -Average? -Fantastic! If you hit 500 visits in one school year, I can send you to a work farm where you milk goats.
[goat bleats] [gulping] [burps] Now what do you have to say? Um, that was gross.
That's enough out of you! Just like in a court of law, you're guilty until proven innocent.
Um, I think it's actually the other way-- No thinking! This is school.
Now, without passing P.
, indefinite Saturday detentions! -Please.
-No! Can't we do something else? Sure.
You could do a lap around the Earth! [laughs] And bring me a flag from every country! [laughing] That's 29,000 miles! And 196 flags.
Stop pretending you've learned things here.
Do you want to be in more trouble? You two are in more trouble! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Protocol, Mr.
Oh, right, okay, sorry.
Meaner is here to see you.
Send him in.
You two are in more trouble! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-What? This comic of yours is making fun of me! I am mad! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, I am the one getting mad.
Oh, yeah? Look how mad I am! [yelling] Well, look how mad I am! [yelling] [grunting] [yelling] [grunting and yelling continue] We can't run around the Earth.
How are we gonna pass P.
? Get better har.
We got to pass that strength test.
Hey, look.
[grunts] [both] The Pumpitupinator.
What if we use that on us? Let's turn it all the way up.
-More is always better.
-So good.
[narrator] Meanwhile, this was still happening.
[both yelling] What? Huh? Huh? -[screams] -Wha--wha-- [yelling] It's ready.
[gasps] Huh? Aah! [groans] [machine whirring and beeping] -[electricity sparking] -Wha [yelling] I'm gonna get you two! Wha-- wha-- [yelling] [glass shattering] Mr.
-- Meaner? [whimpering] [growls] [grunts] What? Whoa.
-[laughing] -He's got a huge butt.
A really huge butt.
What? [grunts] [both] Whoa.
[laughing] A really, really huge butt.
[struggling] Huh? Oh.
You did this! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's turned into Flabby Flabulous.
How does this happen to us? Don't overthink it.
I'm getting you.
I'm coming after you.
This won't help us pass P.
, but I think we should-- Run! [frantic jazzy music] [both screaming] [clattering, glass shattering] [Mr.
Meaner] Where are you? You can't hide from me.
I'm gonna get you.
-[discordant tones] -We have a music room? [clattering, glass shattering] Oh.
-This is terrible.
-I know.
Luckily sound effects aren't that expensive.
[grunting] Do you think he'll find us? -There you are! -[both screaming] [screaming] [laughing maniacally] [gentle musical flourish] [bombastic music] [cat screeching] Why does he have that scary laugh? He's a gym teacher.
Incoming! As George and Harold continued to run from Flabby Flabulous, it became more and more obvious they needed something special.
We need something special.
[narrator] And that special thing was An ice cream flavor named after us.
Yes! And [both] Captain Underpants! Come on, we got to go find Mr.
[narrator] In case you missed it at the beginning of the show, Mr.
Krupp is Captain Underpants.
It was all in the theme song, which, well, we'll just play it for you real quick.
Krupp plus finger snap equals Captain Underpants.
[Jessica sobbing] Hold on, someone's crying.
All you're hearing is the sound of hair despair.
Or should I say, "har despar.
" Jessica? Are you, uh, uh are you okay? I don't know.
[gasping] How's my har? Uh, maybe there's one little hair sticking out over What? No.
No, no, no, no! Mr.
Krupp? Mr.
Krupp? [Harold] He's not here.
[narrator] Mr.
Krupp actually was there, of course, trapped inside the big metal cabinet that he'd been shaking to prove how angry he was.
Meaner] George! Harold! Prepare to be flabified! [car alarm wailing] At least Flabby Flabulous doesn't know where we-- There you are! -[gasps] -Drat.
[snaps fingers] [muffled grunting] [both] Hmm? [muffled voice] Tra-la-la! [yelling] Ah! [grunting] Yah! Tra-la-la! [both] Captain Underpants! Tra-la-- oof.
La! We need your help.
-With what? -With that! -Get ready to be Flabby caked! -Whoa! [glass shattering] Whoa.
[groans] Where's Captain Underpants? -[laughing] -Um, tra-la-la! In the name of all that is preshrunk and cottony! Let's get out of here.
[grunts] My leg! I'm trapped! [cackling] Well, get un-trapped! Those cheeks are closing fast! -[laughing] -[both screaming] [grunts] [boys laugh] [exciting music] [growling] [narrator] We interrupt the program with this warning.
The following scenes are so violent and naughty, you are not allowed to see them.
We interrupt this interruption to inform you that the violence will now be presented in Flip-O-Rama for your safety.
Punching cheek to cheek.
Great big bummer.
-Tushy tootsie tickle.
-[giggling] -[narrator] And -[screaming] [narrator] Having taken a big hit from Flabby Flabulous, Captain Underpants realized he had to dig deeper.
So he reached into his utility waistband and produced [grunts] Where is it? [narrator] and produced Oh! [narrator] and produced Wedgie power! Aha! This is a lot like the comic.
We're good that way.
I must summon my wedgie power to defeat this villain! Uh-oh.
Too small.
You'll never give me a wedgie, loser! I'm too flabulous! -Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
-[grunting] Try this on! No, you try this on.
[inhales deeply] [narrator] At this point, you may wish to turn down the smell on your television.
[yelling] [grunts] [groans] [groans] Oh! [Captain Underpants yelling] [grunts] [sighs] I don't know if I can do this.
What if you taunt him like crazy and he makes a blast so hard that it sends you all the way around the Earth, and while he's still looking backward to see where you went, you come flying around from the other side of the planet and knock him out? Like this.
It worked.
Wait, we don't get to see that? No, we're almost out of show.
Aw, man! [narrator] Well, all right.
[Western music plays] [chuckling] Hey, Flabby! Give me your best shot.
[narrator] Which he did, with a sound so offensive, we can't let you hear it.
-Well, all right.
-[farting] [narrator] It looked like this.
[yelling and grunting] [both gasp] [Mr.
Meaner grunts] [yelling] Flabby's knocked out! So is Captain Underpants! [snoring] If he doesn't wake up, he won't be able to fly.
-Can we catch him? -We're not strong enough for that.
Can we, uh, get out of the way? Wait.
What about Melvin? Melvin.
He's got those huge muscles.
-Melvin! -Melvin! Hey, look, there's Melvin.
[both] Melvin! -[George] We need you to-- -What happened to your arms? Yeah, the Pumpitupinator? The effects of the Pumpitupinator are temporary.
It wears off.
I don't want those dumb arms all the time.
It's too hard to make my bed.
Yeah, great reason.
[gasps] He's falling! We need to use this.
We need strength.
Massive strength.
We need to catch, uh, something.
No, period, way, period.
Come on, Melvin, it's a muscle emergency! Nope.
Not gonna happen.
[all struggling] [all] No! My har.
My har, my har, my ha-- [grunts] [screaming] [gasps] [narrator] Suddenly, Jessica Gordon, whose hair had never done anything for anyone except Jessica Gordon What? [gasps] [narrator] became a major player in this story, as her now gigantic locks could provide a soft, strong, and safe landing for Captain Underpants.
[both] Hooray! [narrator] Except they didn't.
[both] Aw, man.
Sophie One and Other Sophie, uh, look at my har! Jessica, come back! He's got no place to land.
The birdbath! Come on.
[both straining] Huh? [narrator] And, of course, water turns Captain Underpants back into Mr.
[groans] What? What's-- Wait.
Aren't you two supposed to be running? [gasps] Where are my clothes? Where are my clothes? Here, Mr.
Krupp, you can wrap yourself in these.
The flags you wanted.
All 196.
From a lap around the world.
What? You got the flags? You-- Where are my clothes? [narrator] And although they didn't say it wasn't them that went around the world, he did accept the flags, and he grudgingly gave them their P.
Wait, what about Mr.
Meaner? [laughing maniacally] You're about to perish in a Flabalanche.
[laughs, yells] -Isn't that effect supposed to wear off? -Yeah.
[narrator] Which is exactly what happened.
[air hissing] Oh.
[groaning] [laughing] Ah [stutters] Come on, boys.
I mean, let's be reasonable here.
I mean, please.
You can have your P.
credits if you don't take a picture.
We already got our credits.
You think they'll mind? It's a positive message.
Hey, guys, now that I have the World's Best Har [giggles] can I use this dryer thingy again? [both] No! [electricity sparking] [both scream]