The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e02 Episode Script

Captain Underpants and the Dreadful Debacle of DJ Drowsy Drawers

1 [light music] [both laughing] [triumphant music] [jazzy spy music] [squeak, animal bleats, bell rings] [male narrator] This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the right with the tie and flattop under his hat.
Harold is the one on the left with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now.
Also, they don't have a permit for this, so you never saw this.
[children singing] So George and Harold make comic books -[George] We're cool! -[Harold] Me too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to Blah, blah, blah, blah! So they got a Hypno-Ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kind of on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants! [Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet You're back where you began Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now, this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins -[Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! [yawns] [narrator] The day began with a hint of tension in the air, thanks to George and Harold and Mr.
Krupp's Tension cologne.
[lips smacking] [slurp] Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca.
Two tigers take turns tasting tapioca.
[inhales sharply and exhales] I am a mountain! Hooga! Good morning, students.
A reminder that stairwell C has been painted.
Please line up to watch it dry.
[sheep bleating] [laughter] [clears throat] Not sure what that, uh Today's lunch menu.
-Zesty meat taco with deluxe what? -["La Cucaracha" plays] -Meat zesty taco -[donkey braying] [growls] [laughter] -Taco zest medley -[belching] [laughter] Fiesta zesty taco! [grunts] [chicken squawks] [laughter] Olé taco with zest taco! [grunts and yells] -And expired milk carton! -[cow mooing] [laughter] Maybe we should've made the cord easier for Mr.
Krupp to follow.
Nah, he'll find us.
-If there's one thing Krupp is, it's -[growls] -[gasps] -Predictable.
You two! My office! -[brass wah-wah] -Now! -So, this is your little noisemaker.
-[foghorn blares] -Ahh! It's actually the My Hammy Sound Machine.
Over 2,000 amazing sounds.
Quiet! [narrator] The My Hammy Sound Machine, created for one purpose: fun.
Mr.
Krupp likes fun even less than he likes kids.
-[belch, squeak, vomit, explosion] -[growling] -Get out! What? Stop! -[bongos playing] Turn it off! -There's a switch.
-[fart] -Did you call me? -No! -'Cause I thought I heard-- -No! There's a bird on your car.
[quack] -Not now! -Fine! -So… -Yep, we're guilty.
So I guess you got to ban us from the school dance.
Tough break.
But if you're not strict, we'll never learn.
We were really looking forward to that dance.
Ah, me too.
Can it! I know your game.
I know your ploy.
I know your other word like that! You're going to the dance.
I am going to the dance.
Everyone is going to the dance! What about fun? Is fun going to the dance? Ha ha ha.
-[bang, clatter] -No.
I am simply happy that this office visit -[ding] -puts you one step closer to being expelled.
That's punishment enough.
[chair creaking] -[flatulence] -[growls] -Did you -No! Fine! All that work and we still got to go to the dance.
Yeah.
I'd rather go to the dentist.
Two dentists! [George] With huge, gross muscles! [Harold] And no toothbrushes! Just, like, pirate hook hands.
[George] And floss made out of shark guts! [Harold] Yeah! [chuckles] [George] And mega slime eyes that explode! [Harold] Oh, with, like, big, huge mirrors on their heads.
[George] That reflect the sun and, like, torch the bad guys' plan! -[laughing] -Oh, yeah.
So good.
[both laughing] -[sighs] We still got to go to the dance.
-Yeah.
[narrator] So why were George and Harold trying to get banned from the dance? Dances are fun, right? Had the world turned upside down? These Electro-magna-boots 2000 make gravity-- Oof! [groans] [Melvin] Stupid sweaty feet! [narrator] No, the truth is George and Harold hate dances because Mr.
Krupp hates dances.
But he has to have them.
It all started with Charles Cotesworth Pinckney in 1787 adding a rule in the Constitution making school dances mandatory.
That's why all schools and TV shows about schools have school dances.
[growls] Darn you, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney! [narrator] So Mr.
Krupp does his best to make sure that they're no fun.
I bet this year's dance will be even duller than three years ago.
"Night of Magic Spelling Dictation.
" Yeah, and two years ago.
"Enchantment under the Tarp.
" And last year's "Moonlight Standardized Placement Testing Jamboree," ugh.
[Mr.
Rected humming] [Harold] "Enchanted Waiting Room"? -We got to do something! -Like what? I don't know, but this is when we would typically do something.
Yeah! [indistinct chatter] [humming] Are you guys in line to watch the paint dry? No! For the dance.
DJ auditions! -[George] DJ auditions? -DJ auditions? -DJ auditions! -DJ auditions! [narrator] It was the DJ auditions.
Come on.
We're gonna audition.
[record scratching] [narrator] And that was when George and Harold decided to become DJs-- [George] Hold up! [both laugh] -[narrator] Ahem.
-[both gasp] [narrator] And that was when George and Harold became DJs to make the dance fun.
Ms.
Hurd.
-[grunts] -Ms.
Hurd! -Can't even -Droopy Drawers! Wha--Oh! [grunting] -Sit down! -[mumbles] Listen up! Even though I always choose Ms.
Hurd as the DJ for the dance, everyone here today has a chance, even though I will choose Ms.
Hurd.
Begin.
Our DJ set is just one song.
"Don't You Dare Touch My Hair, I Swear.
" -[giggles] By The Flare Bears.
-Is she speaking English? [woman] Don't you dare touch my hair - Don't touch, don't touch -[humming] I'm uncomfortable inside.
Cut that racket! Next! [spacey electronic music] [Dressy humming] I have to feed my cat.
Cut that racket! Next! [beeping] [beeping, buzzer blares] [growls] [crash] My favorite so far.
Next! [whirring and booming] [gasps] -[woman screams] -No! Take them and let me serve you! [grunts] Hmm, I knew we weren't being enslaved by robots.
[chuckling nervously] Behold the Raisetheroofitron 2000! The future of mobile dance music! [upbeat electronic music] -Cut that racket! -Next.
What? But-- But I-- -Next.
-[sighs] Nobody rejects my robot-based, retro-future, 8-bit midi music and gets away with it! They'll see! Hmph! Oh! [metal grinding] [growls] -Hi, we're-- -Hold it! Hold it! Hold it! Hold what? We haven't even started.
Hold it, fellas.
I'm afraid you're just too darn loud.
But we didn't play anything.
I'd rather listen to werewolves throw up! You didn't even-- Wait.
Have you really heard a werewolf throw up? -Yes! -Whoa! -So cool! -I was petrified! [Ms.
Hurd] I stayed in my basement for three days.
I survived by eating my own eyelashes and toenail clippings! [squeak] All right, well, that's the last audition.
I've tallied the scores, and the DJ is, oh, my, our music teacher, Ms.
Droopy Drawers.
I-- I'm sorry.
Um Ms.
Hurd! Aw! Oh! This is a sham and a travesty! A-- A "shavesty"! Yes! A "shavesty"! [narrator] George and Harold were right.
Unfortunately, "shavesty" is not a word.
-Nope.
-Darn you, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney! [school bell ringing] Ugh, he's making the dance no fun again.
What are we gonna do? Same thing we always do when forces of evil rally against us.
[both] Make a comic book! [narrator] Captain Underpants and the Dreadful Debacle of DJ Drowsy Drawers by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
[comic narrator] Once upon a time, our school was gonna have a dance.
All the kids were excited because they loved dancing.
They're like, "Dancing is fun and stuff.
" "Yeah, it is, too!" "We can have a raffle and win walkie-talkies!" "Dance!" But the mean Principal hated dancing.
He's all, "Butts are for sitting, not shaking and bouncing!" So he says, "I'll ruin the dance by hiring the most boring DJ in the phone book! DJ Drowsy Drawers? You're hired!" -[screams] -[comic narrator] But it was a trap! DJ Drowsy Drawers was an evil alien robot lady who was evil! Ha ha ha! She wanted to make everyone go asleep with boring music so she could conquer Earth.
"Sleep, you policeman, for example!" [whirring, clanging] "So easy!" At the dance, DJ Drowsy Drawers played boring beats and did a boring rap.
"You're getting very sleepy For DJ Drowsy Drawers My flutes'll make you yawn And my harps'll make you snores" The kids tried to dance, but they couldn't stay awake.
"Yawn! Yawn! Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z!" Just then, Captain Underpants swooped in! "I hear there's a raffle for walkie-talkies and soda!" He drank a whole bunch of soda.
But then he sees that DJ Drowsy Drawers has sleep-attacked everyone! And DJ goes, "You're next, Undipants!" She blasts him with boring notes, and he starts to sleep! But he fights back.
For truth, justice! And he kind of wants those walkie-talkies.
So he stuffed his ears with preshrunk cotton.
"Now I can't hear you!" "What?" "I said, 'Now'-- Oh, never mind.
" "Here's your wake-up call.
It's punch o'clock!" Then he punch o'clocked DJ Drowsy Drawers a bunch of times.
Do-do, do-do-do-do-do, d-d-d-d-d-do! Do-do-do-do-do! DJ Drowsy Drawers swung back and knocked Captain Underpants down to the bottom of the page.
Right next to the walkie-talkies! Captain Underpants turned one up all the way and threw it at DJ Drowsy Drawers, who caught it, 'cause, I mean, walkie-talkie, right? Then Captain Underpants took his and burped into it.
It was so loud that all the nuts and bolts popped out of DJ Drowsy Drawers, and she fell to the ground in pieces.
"Hooray!" yelled everyone who was asleep, and then they learned the Underpants dance with lots of shaking and bouncing! Tra-la-la! The end.
[alarm buzzing] [narrator] The comic book was a hit with kids, much like free doughnuts or a $3 birthday check from Aunt Cornelia.
My flutes'll make you yarn And my harps'll make you snars This is crazy! Everybody loves our rap.
Yeah! Even the Ice Cream Truck loves it! You're getting very sleepy For DJ Drowsy Drawers We should be the DJs for the dance.
But Ms.
Hurd will be there.
[narrator] Which gave George an idea.
[flatulence, ding] But what if Ms.
Hurd wasn't there? -What if she didn't show up? -Huh! Yeah.
What if she stayed in her house? In the basement Eating toenail clippings! [both laughing] [narrator] Meanwhile, Melvin Sneedly was busy being kind of nuts, even for him.
They think they can silence us, Raisy.
But they can't, can they? Answer me! Were you talking to me? Leave us be! Okay.
Uh, guess I'll just They wouldn't listen to us and our robot-based, retro-future, 8-bit midi music.
But we're gonna crash that dance and make them listen.
Where's Miss Anthrope? She must be helping with the dance.
Less color! Beige! All beige! More uncomfortable chairs! And more bland, three-year-old magazines, uh-- What? Pop those balloons! But it's a dance.
We can have fun things.
Like a mechanical bull! -[bull bellows] -No! Ah! The goal is zero fun, people.
Zero! Fun leads to the robo-pocalypse! This chart proves it! See? If kids see colors, they have fun.
Fun leads to joy, and joy leads to a rainbow unicorn stampede that transforms into a robot horde that enslaves us all! [squeak] Any questions? I didn't think so! [jazzy spy music] -I got it.
-Come on.
Where's Ms.
Hurd? I don't know.
Well, her sound system is here.
[narrator] Ms.
Hurd was calmly preparing for the dance by drooping up her slacks and practicing her mean looks in the mirror, when Harold and George implemented their plan.
The My Hammy Sound Machine was a versatile device.
It contained two sounds guaranteed to make Ms.
Hurd stay home-- "Werewolves" and "Throw Up.
" [George giggles] This is too good.
-[laughs] -I know.
-[howling] -Let's go get ready.
[both giggle] [grunts] [sighs] [howling] [gasps] Werewolves? [vomiting] Throwing up? [screams] -[yelling and whimpering] -[howling continues] [footsteps pounding] -[door slams] -[Ms.
Hurd yelling and whimpering] [door slams] You done? We can't turn the beat around if we miss the dance.
You think we should dress up? Yeah! Let's do a [both] Unnecessary getting-ready montage! -[Harold] Yeah! Whoo! -[George laughing] -[Harold] Oh, like it! -[George] Lookin' good! -[Harold] Yeah! Uh-huh! -[George laughing] [both] Oh, yeah! -[George laughing] -[Harold] Rocking! -[Harold] Heck, yeah! [laughs] -[George] Oh, look at that one! -Nah.
-That was totally unnecessary.
I think we're fine.
Except for these! Yeah! [Harold] Turn these suckers on! [George] And activate! [quirky electronic music] [Melvin] I said stand still, Raisy! -[whimpering] -[howling] [gagging] [vomiting] [eerie music] [whimpering] Oh, no.
Oh! [narrator] But unfortunately, the batteries in their My Hammy Sound Machine were not exactly brand-new.
[warbling, howling stops] And Ms.
Hurd was able to leave her basement and hustle off to the dance.
But unfortunately, a toxic chemical/cafeteria food truck was speeding towards the school to deliver next week's menu.
[Harold and George] You're getting very sleepy [narrator] And coming from the other direction was the same ice cream truck we saw before.
[grunting] [yelling] [grunting and mumbling] [dramatic music] -[gasps] -[screams] [all screaming] [tires squeal] [narrator] Both trucks hit the brakes to avoid Ms.
Hurd, but it was too late.
We can't actually show the collision because that's not nice, but we can show you this big cloud of smoke and stuff drawn in an elaborate anime style.
So cool.
And then this happened.
[Ms.
Hurd moaning] [bang] [moaning] [grumbling] [both gasp] [metallic clanking] [both gasping] [narrator] When Ms.
Hurd emerged, everything about her was different except her drawers.
[mumbling] [both screaming] Cut that racket! [distorted voice] I am DJ Drowsy-- -[screaming] -[gasps] [snoring] [cackling] [clock ticking] [liquid drips] [ticking continues] [sheep bleating] [all yawning] [narrator] The Enchanted Waiting Room Dance was living up to its name, except for the enchanted part.
Ugh, this punch has no flavor at all! It's perfect! It's awful nights like these that make it all worthwhile.
[creak] Why is this tablecloth red? To liven up the room.
Color means joy! And joy is the-- Fine! I'll get the brown one.
Now, where's Ms.
Hurd? We got to get this party dying! Where's my DJ? Where's my DJ? [thudding] [mumbles] Sleep! Nothing can turn this perfectly boring dance around now.
[narrator] And in saying that, Mr.
Krupp ensured that something would turn this perfectly boring dance around now.
Huh? [students murmuring] [all gasping] [narrator] Told ya.
Huh? [driving techno music] [exclaiming] -[yells] -[lasers zap] [all gasping] [laughter and cheers] [both] You're gettin' very sleepy For DJ Drowsy Drawers My flutes'll make you yawn And my harps'll make you snores [narrator] DJ Jazzy George and DJ Heavy Harold were in the house! Oh, my God, I love that song! -Yeah! Whoo-hoo! -[children cheering] Huh? What? No! Aah! No! No fun! No fun! No fun! No! No! No! No! No! [sobs] Somebody help me! Sleep! -Sleep! -[all gasping] Deep! [grunts] -[distorted voice] DJ Drowsy Drawers! -[boys yell] [Harold] No! [both gasp] I am DJ Drowsy Drawers Going to close your eyes And make you sleep forever mores [distorted garble] [all snoring] DJ Drowsy Drawers is real and here? How'd that happen? [narrator] Well, it all started in 1787 with-- Probably better if we just move on.
We got to do something before something else crazy happens! [narrator] And just then, something else crazy happened.
Aha! Behold the Raisetheroofitron 2000! My-- Aah! Wait.
Somebody already has a robot here? -[distorted voice] DJ Drowsy Drawers! -[snoring] Sleep! Harold! Dude! Don't fall asleep! [snaps fingers] [narrator] Thanks to that snap and the red tablecloth cleverly established earlier in the scene, Mr.
Krupp changed into Captain Underpants.
Tra-la-la! [heroic musical flourish] Sleep! [distorted] DJ Drowsy! Deep! Ahh! [yawning] [mumbling] Z-Z-Z-Z Wake up and fight! -I don't want to wake up and fight.
-[robot rumbling] [both gasp] [narrator] Warning: The following scenes of sleepy violence will be shown in Laser-Light-Sho-Rama to make them less intense and more planetarium-y.
You snooze, you bruise.
[upbeat electronic music] Feet dreams! -[snoring] -[narrator] Snore than a squealing! [Captain Underpants yells, grunts] [snores] He's out! -[roars] Sleep! -[distorted voice] DJ Drowsy Drawers! -Deep! -[both yell] Now what? Now we fight robot with robot! Yes! The Raisetheroofitron! [snoring] -Cool! -So good! [electronic whirring] Hey, this thing has good non-Melvin music and robo-fists! Nice work, Melvin! You're a big help when you're knocked out.
Time for us to teach her a new dance.
[electronic voice] The Robot! Yeah.
The no fun, extra-ouch Robot! [epic music] Hmm? Wica-wica-wind up punch, and release! [yelling, grunting] [growls] -[glass shatters] -Whoa, vinyl records! She went old school! Yeah, so we go new school! -[Harold] To the left -[George] To the right Huh? [Harold] To the face! [growls] Sleep! Deep! [mumbles] [groans] Guess we need a newer school.
Or Captain Underpants! Look! He's getting down in his sleep! If you can sleepwalk, you can sleep-dance! I think we can control him from here.
Cool! Launch the headphones! [Harold] Launching headphones.
[George] Now turn it up! [upbeat electronic music] [growls] [George] It's working! Now let's get him to sleep fight! [whirring] -[Harold] Ready -[George and Harold] Set.
Punch! -Yah! -[groans] [Harold] Let's distract her with some smooth moves.
[George] What you gonna do? What you gonna do? -[Harold laughs] -Sleep! [lasers zapping] -Oh -[George] Duck right! -Oh! -[George] Left! Right! Huh? [growling] [grunting, roaring] Oh, no, he's down! Got to wake him up! Hit the drop! [both grunt] -[murmuring] -[Harold] Captain Underpants! -[Harold] Help! No! -[George] No! [Melvin snoring] Ah! Wah! [both] No! Help! Help! -Help! -[grunts] -[all snoring] -No! -[growls] -[grunting] Ah! I wear preshrunk cotton And they call me Cap U Gonna bring the noise And turn your song against you You're feelin' kind of loopy [all] DJ Drowsy Drawers! [Captain Underpants] Your lids are gettin' droopy [all] Time to bring the snores! - Panda night light's gonna glow -[Ms.
Hurd growling] [all] Count up all those sheep Lay your head on that pillow [all] And go the heck to sleep! Tra-la-la! [Ms.
Hurd groaning] [narrator] DJ Drowsy Drawers was no mores.
And Captain Underpants celebrated inventing the "Tushie Twister.
" Patent pending.
[grunting] Bland punch is mostly water.
What? You kids are having fun? No! Hmm? Hmm? Where are my clothes?