The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e03 Episode Script

Captain Underpants and the Horrible Hostilities of the Homework Hydra

1 [light music] [both laughing] [triumphant music] [both panting] [male narrator] This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the right with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the left with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now.
-Oh, and that's Homework Hydra.
-[cackles] [narrator] But before we tell you that story, we have to tell you this story.
So George and Harold make comic books -[George] We're cool! -[Harold] Me too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to Blah, blah, blah, blah! So they got a Hypno-Ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants! [Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet You're back where you began Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now, this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins -[Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! [narrator] Most of the kids were reading the latest Captain Underpants comic book instead of listening to Ms.
Ribble's senseless yammering, but not George and Harold.
[Harold] Only one minute left, and Ms.
Ribble still hasn't given us any homework.
That means we're gonna have all night to work on our new comic! -And watch monster movies! -While reinventing pizza as a dessert! Instead of sauce, we'll use ice cream, and instead of crust, we'll use-- More ice cream! Sorry, guys.
That ship has sailed.
[choir vocalizing] -Ah! -[giggling] Calling it "piteza cream.
" -[chomps] Still working on the name.
-[George and Harold] Whoa.
[panting] [clock ticking] Ugh, why are you breathing like a dog? My breathing is appropriate to the situation.
Time is running out, and we've yet to be assigned homework! [clock ticking ominously] -Three -[clock ticks] -Two -[clock ticks] -One -Ms.
Ribble! Homework.
You forgot to assign homework.
[heads creak] [eyes squeaking] -What? -Thank you, Melvin! This is why everyone likes you.
[all growling] Okay, class, I want a 10,000-word report on fun and why it's wrong.
Due tomor-- What is that? What--what is that? [Ms.
Ribble gasps] [narrator] Like cats, all educators are unable to resist the lure of a red dot.
What is-- [growls] [yells] -[grunts, yells] -[school bell ringing] [Ms.
Ribble] It's due tomorrow! [Harold] Ten thousand words? Ugh! I'm having a brain fart.
[brain farts] It's okay, buddy.
Why don't we just use Iffypedia? [Harold] Iffypedia? The Website anybody can add to? I don't know.
-It says that dinosaurs drove cars.
-[car horn honks] Yeah, but Ms.
Ribble's never gonna read them.
You're right.
You're a genius.
I know.
It's on my Iffypedia page.
[narrator] But even with the "help" of Iffypedia, George and Harold were still a few thousand words short.
In order to finish, George signed his paper with a really long made-up middle name.
Ulysses Cornelius Punkmueller Agamemnon [narrator] Harold, on the other hand, well -[grunting] -[brain farts] [Ms.
Ribble] Hmm.
[suspenseful music] -Oh, no, George.
She's reading them.
-That's just for show.
Teachers only give us homework to make us miserable.
Trust me.
I've never seen an H before.
It's a new grade I invented.
It stands for "horrendous," because what you wrote is awful! But "awful" starts with an A, so George, your paper is 2,011 middle names! That wasn't easy.
And, Harold, your paper is just full of confetti! The dog ate it.
You don't have a dog.
I didn't say it was my dog.
Are you talking back to me? Would you two like to see Principal Krupp? [both] Uh [cackles] [bell dings] [heads creak] [grunting] No.
-[grunts] -[rubber duck squeaks] [chuckles nervously] Eh Ha! No.
Oh! No.
Oh, there it is.
"Contempt of classroom.
Unauthorized smiling.
Having hopes and dreams.
" [scoffs] You've really outdone yourselves! -Thank you! -Couldn't have done it without you.
It's not a compliment, you nitwits! Huh? What? Huh? Oh.
[laughs] [narrator] As I mentioned before, all educators are unable to resist the lure of a red laser dot.
Ha! Huh? Hey! Give me that! And I'm tripling your homework.
Thirty thousand words on hmm eh uh huh oh! -doorknobs! -Doorknobs? -Did you call me? -No! -Your headlights are on.
-Not now! [George groans] Homework is the worst.
[Melvin groans] Wedgies are the worst.
Note to self: use Time Toad 2000 to go back in time and stop wedgies from being invented.
[gasps] That's it! Harold! Stop walking.
We're gonna borrow Melvin's Time Toad 2000, which was conveniently just established, go back to when homework was invented, and stop it before it starts.
It's that easy.
Gooch? What have you done with Harold? I was walking with my homework, and you started walking next to me, and I should have said something then, but I didn't, and now it's too late, and I don't know where Harold is.
[Harold] Over here! Help! Whoa! Whoa! -Harold, we got a plan! -[thud] [suspenseful music] You sure this will make Melvin leave? Hundred percent.
Can't miss.
-[phone rings] -[grunts] Note to self: no more glass ray guns.
Sneedley residence.
Melvin speaking.
Why, yes, my refrigerator is running.
I better go catch it? What? Oh, no.
Oh, no! [gasping] Ahh! Even though I knew it would work, I can't believe that worked.
We're good that way.
[both grunting] -[devices beeping] -[George] Whoa.
Who'd have thought Melvin's room would be so cool? Way cool.
Kid, kid, kid, kid, you got pranked.
"Is your refrigerator running?" Come on.
Oldest one in the book.
Perhaps in your book, but my refrigerator actually-- [gasps] "Melvin's secret Time Toad room.
" Not a secret if you have a sign.
"This room smells like pee.
" [laughs] -Much better.
-And it's true.
[choir vocalizes] [narrator] Behold Melvin's Time Toad 2000, an amazingly sophisticated piece of time-travel technology powered by peanut butter.
[machine hums] It says here on Iffypedia, homework was invented in ancient Egypt by Pharaoh Tutankhamun in a one-room pyramid.
-It also says rocks are fruit.
[machinery whirring] [Time Toad croaks] [bell dings] [George and Harold yelling] [Time Toad croaks] -[gasps] -Whoa.
[Harold] A school? Huh.
Guess Iffypedia is right.
[dinosaur roars, car horn honks] Is it weird that all these kids look like our classmates? -Not on our show's budget.
-[Pharaoh] Okay, listen up, kids.
That means you, Amenhotep.
You too, Neferuptah.
Now, as you wrap the mummy, make sure to be snug around the head.
-How is it, Ptolemy? -Actually, I'm--[muffled shouting] Uh-huh.
And when you're done, boom! Eternal afterlife.
All right, class, that's all she carved.
Tomorrow we read up on embalming.
Now go have fun with your free time that's all yours to enjoy and grow in.
[Melvin] E-excuse me, Pharaoh.
Perhaps we could take our papyrus home and continue our study there, so to be better prepared when Ra favors us with another school day.
You mean schoolwork at home, Melvinites? This is it.
This is the exact moment when homework was invented! Figures it was Ancient Melvin's idea.
I was thinking the name "homework.
" [dramatic music] Yes.
Homework! Ha! From now on, by the grace of Arensnuphis-is-is-is, we will continue your school day into the night with multiple hours of painful homework! Homework is born! [imitating echo] Born! Born.
Born [heads creak] [squeaking] What? Now what do we do? It's already happened.
[narrator] Brainstorm! -[gasps] Wait! -[both] The Time Toad! We go back a couple of minutes, we can stop it.
[narrator] Which is exactly what they did.
-Now, as you wrap the mummy-- -[George] Excuse me, Pharaoh.
I'm pretty sure that Melvinites wants to be the mummy today.
-What? I'm not so sure-- -You get extra credit.
[Ptolemy grunts] Okay, but an idea-- what if we took our papyrus home? And when you're done, boom! Eternal afterlife.
All right, class, that's all she carved.
Now go have fun with your free time that's all yours to enjoy and grow in.
We did it! I think we just got rid of homework.
[school bell rings] Huh.
Everything looks exactly the same.
You can't trust a pharaoh.
[children cheering] [upbeat hip-hop music] Hey, guys! Great day, huh? But what day isn't? Am I right? Am I right? Hey, guys, you in for my swim party after school? Yeah! Is it me, or is everyone a lot happier? Crazy happy.
It's so weird.
[narrator] And things get weirder in three, two [Melvin] Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Laser chest hair! Ooh! Let's roll.
Sooner we get to class, sooner we get out of class.
What the-- Was that Melvin? [Harold] It looks like him.
But that guy was cool.
How did that happen? Maybe it worked after all, George.
Maybe we got rid of homework.
Only one way to find out.
[suspenseful music] [both] Three -[clock ticks ominously] -[both] Two [clock ticks ominously] -Here it comes.
-[both] One.
[inhales sharply] [school bell rings] Uh, class dismissed.
So no homework? -No what? -Home-- -Nothing.
Homework's gone! What do we do now? Same as always.
Whatever we want! Let's carve some grains! [male announcer] Free time with friends! The fun never ends.
You've got friends, and you've got free time, and that means with your friends that free and friendly with your friends and free time friendly, free time, friends, yeah, friends.
That's right! It's all friendly, free, and sand-tastic! -That was epic! -Which part? That Piqua has sand dunes or that Melvin rocks? Both! Buddy, we got rid of homework! We should celebrate! Yeah, with a comic that tells the world of our heroism.
-[Captain Underpants] Captain Underpants! -[male narrator] And George and Harold! [Captain Underpants] And the Heroic Hammering of the Homework-Headed Horror! [narrator] Once, there was these cool and super-buff guys, George and Harold, who did not like homework at all.
"We hate homework!" And, "Me too!" So did the other kids, especially the one who had a skeleton hand.
She was like, "I can't play volleyball!" And she couldn't.
So the very buff guys went back in time to stop homework from being made up in the first place.
Shoo! Zoom! Back in time! Pow! They landed in ancient Egypt, right in front of a pyramid, home of the god of homework, for real! "I made up homework! You must bow down!" "No! We're here to make you undo homework!" And he says, "Nuh-uh! It's my thing.
" And he turns into a hydra monster with heads! He starts to eat them.
"Ah! A head is eating me!" Luckily, Captain Underpants was also in ancient Egypt on vacation and got lost looking for the bathroom.
"Hey, where's the bathroom?" Then buff George and buff Harold are like, "Help and stuff!" Captain Underpants flew and punched the Hydra.
He dropped George and Harold, who were happy.
-Captain Underpants.
-"I still need a bathroom!" They both jumped at the buff guys, but Captain Underpants grabbed them just in time! Everything smashed together, and the hydra got knocked out.
Blam! [panting] Whoa.
So out of breath.
When he woke up, he had amnesia and couldn't remember anything, like, that he thought of the idea of homework, so he couldn't make it up at all! "Yay! We are the winners," said George and Harold, and the girl with the skeleton hand was all better, and she made the volleyball team! -Captain Underpants.
-"I still need a bathroom! Tra-la oops.
-[farts] -[narrator] The end.
Hey, guys, new Captain Underpants comic here.
Form a line.
No pushing.
Gooch, here, take the comic.
It's free.
I don't know what you're talking about, so I'm gonna go somewhere else.
Gooch? I don't get it.
It's like they don't want the comic.
Bro! Hairpiece! Hey, Mel-evator! Do you want to read our comic? Comic? What's a comic? -[shrieking] -Wha-- What? [both screaming] [both groan] No homework and no comics? Is there anything more weird? [narrator] Yes, there is.
A red-lipped batfish.
How did getting rid of homework get rid of comics? Vell, once you remove the stress of homework, the brain no longer craves the release of comic joy-amines, which are produced specifically by comic books.
So we got rid of comic books? Yeah, and if we want to bring back comics, we got to -What? -We got to -Say it.
-We got to bring back homework.
[both] No! [school bell rings] [narrator] George and Harold weren't alone in misery.
Coulda been a [stammers] surgeon! Just needed two more years of high school, four years of undergrad, four years of medical school, and three to ten years of residency.
[stammers] [narrator] It turns out that the happier the kids were, the more depressed the teachers were, even Mr.
[whimpering] [sobs] That's me.
[somber music] Mm.
Hmm? Homework Home work.
Homework! Homework! [laughs] Miserable, painful, torturous homework! [laughs] Homework! Oh, yes! Soon, all the teachers were drooling at the idea of homework and how it could make students miserable.
We could make them read at home! And do squat thrusts at home! [stammers] We'll spoil all their free time! [all] Homework! Homework! Homework! Homework! Homework! Homework! Homework! Homework! [all yelling] [all grunting] [narrator] What do you get when five teachers fall into a vat of rubber cement with a copier? I don't know, but it looks bad.
[electricity crackling] [Ms.
Ribble grunts] Ow.
[shouts, laughing] [shouting] [farts] [narrator] Meanwhile, George and Harold faced the toughest decision ever.
What do we do? We don't want homework.
But we want comics.
I wish some crazy thing would happen that would take the terrible burden of this decision off our shoulders.
[narrator] Luckily, we're good at that.
[ominous roaring] What was that? [ladder clanking] [children whimpering] [suspenseful music] -Ah! Read nine books tonight! -[screams] Do 500 word problems by tomorrow! [both screaming] -[stammers] -Whoa, is that a butt? [farts] That's Homework Hydra from our comic book! [cackling] Maybe we should stop putting monsters in our comic books.
-Eh, that's never gonna happen.
[laughing wickedly] Please, no, no! I'm prone to paper cuts! [roaring] Are we being graded on this? Yes.
You got a T for "atrocious"! [scoffs] But that starts with an A! -[pencils pop] -Aah! My har! [cackling] We'll get help.
Captain Underpants.
You stay here and try to survive.
Wha-- [yells] [Melvin] Can we talk about this? [George] Mr.
Krupp! Mr.
Krupp! [bell dings] Oh, come on.
Everything changed in the school except that? [fingers snap] [fingers snapping] Why isn't he turning into Captain Underpants? Why aren't you turning into Captain Underpants? -Sigh.
There are no comic books in this world, which means we never created Captain Underpants.
You're right! Which means we never turned him into Captain Underpants.
Which means we got to remake Captain Underpants fast.
But how? [narrator] By rushing through Captain Underpants' origin.
That's how! -[Harold] Hypno-Ring! Give me that! -[George] Super Power Juice! Give me that! -[Harold] Look at this! -[George] Drink this! [narrator] And Mr.
Krupp was once again Captain Underpants.
Tra-la-la! -Wow, that was good.
-So good.
Captain Underpants, there's a multiheaded monster burying kids in homework! Ooh! That sounds bad.
Did you call the police? No, we called you! Oh, right! Even better! Tra-la-la! [Homework Hydra roars] [narrator] Warning: The following scenes are so violent and inappropriate that we're presenting them in Workbook-O-Rama.
You have until the end of the scene to complete your work.
No eating, no cheating, no preheating.
And begin.
In order to beat the Hydra, should Captain Underpants: A, jockstrap jam; B, propose marriage; C, copy his face or D, none of the above? [Captain Underpants yelling] [grunting] -Captain Underpants, your waistband! -Yes, I have one! -Use it! -Excellent idea! Thanks for the tip! [triumphant fanfare plays] [Homework Hydra cackles] Hi-ho, underwear! That didn't work at all! -[gasps] -Whoa! [groaning] Never fear, preshrunk cotton is [stammers] [groans] No match for this butt.
Wow, they're really going to town on Captain Underpants.
Yeah, there's no escape from that butt.
What are we gonna do? I got an idea! Come on! [tools whirring, hammer pounding] Almighty Hydra, we have built this immaculate teachers' lounge to satisfy your deman-- -Ooh! Eeh! -What else can we do? Guys, check it out.
Camouflage! It's like I'm invisible! Watch.
Hey, teach-loaf! Butt-stache! Boom! [groaning] Now I know why hot dogs hate buns.
[yells] [grunts] [growls] That's it.
Teachers love laser dots as much as they love homework.
All we need is a bunch of lasers, and they'll pull apart.
I got a bunch of lasers.
[grunts] -Whoo! -Yeah! Uh-huh! Let's hit it! Tra-la-la! [Homework Hydra growls] [slow-motion whooshing] [growls, cackles] [Homework Hydra grunting] [Captain Underpants grunting] [yells] [growling] Ha ha! Yeah! I mean, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whoa! -Yes! -[both laughing] Yes! [growls] [both yelling] [Harold panting] [tires squeal] [growling] [both grunt] [growls] It's working! Everybody, point in the middle! [growling] [all yell] -Ugh.
What is this? -Mm toner.
[electricity crackles] [all coughing] -Whoo-hoo! -[both] Yeah! All right! That was awesome! Yeah, I wish teachers turned into monsters every day.
-They kind of do.
-We better clean this up.
[Melvin] I'm on it.
[Melvin] Sorry! -Man, he really is cool.
-And strong! Normally it takes three firemen to handle one of those.
[grunting] [all groan] [narrator] And as we know, water turns Captain Underpants back into Mr.
What is-- Aah! Oh! Ooh! Ah! What the-- Aah! No! Oh! Ooh! [object clatters] [Melvin] Sorry! [Ms.
Ribble] And this is called homework, an idea I got from a comic book made by George and Harold.
I think you're going to hate it as much as I love it.
[heads creak, students growl] [both] What? [narrator] Everything was back to normal, except Melvin, but George and Harold knew that wouldn't last.
Hey, Melvi-rama, it's been fun hanging with you.
Gonna miss cool you.
Why you bro-nuts acting all cray? [dramatic music] [panting] [eyebrows squeak] [grunting] [narrator] Because homework triggered the return of mean, petty, awful Melvin.
[glass shatters] Perhaps you Neanderthals are unaware that you are not transparent.
Move! [Harold] So we're officially the jerks who invented homework.
It's official.
It's on Iffypedia.
[Harold] We can change it.
But more importantly, we're the heroes that saved comics.