The Epic Tales of Captain Underpants (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

Captain Underpants and the Squishy Predicament of the Stanley Peet's Stinky Pits

1 [male narrator] This is George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
George is the kid on the left with the tie and the flattop.
Harold is the one on the right with the T-shirt and the bad haircut.
Remember that, now.
They enjoy pranks.
Sometimes those pranks are harmless.
-Be warned -We fart so loud.
[narrator] And sometimes [roaring] [both screaming] [narrator] They get the world attacked by giant, cranky produce.
But before we can tell you that story, we have to tell you this story.
So George and Harold make comic books -[George] We're cool! -[Harold] Me too! But they had a mean old principal Who told them what to Blah, blah, blah, blah! So they got a Hypno-Ring And first they made him dance Then accidentally, kinda on purpose Turned him into Captain Underpants! [Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! With a snap, he's the Captain Not the brightest man And don't forget, when he gets wet You're back where you began Put it all together What could possibly go wrong? Now, this is the end Of the Captain Underpants song! - By George Beard and Harold Hutchins -[Captain Underpants] Tra-la-la! [upbeat music] I'm telling you, I saw it move! That's impossible, man.
Impossible.
[dramatic music] -Whoa! I saw it! -See? It's alive! Enjoy.
-[squishing] -Ew, we don't want to eat that.
-[gags] -Me neither.
And I'm starving! [grunts] I very much need some time off.
Avocad-grow.
[narrator] Yes, Avocad-grow, the annual avocado growing contest.
Generally considered one of the most boring contests in existence, except for the prize.
"Winner gets an all-you-can-eat lunch of whatever they want.
" Harold, do you know what that means? [both] All-you-can-eat lunch of whatever we want! I'll have the everything.
Make it two.
[both gulping and grunting] -We got to win this thing.
-Our stomachs depend on it.
[squishing] What about me? -[grunts] -Can't let 'em regenerate.
[narrator] because avocados have pits and, well, I'm sure you get it.
Teaching at Jerome Horwitz is stressful.
That's why Mr.
Fyde spent six months resting in the Piqua Home for the Reality Challenged.
But he's better now and ready to teach science again.
-[door bangs] -[gasps] [narrator] As long as you keep the noise down.
-[bell rings] -[Mr.
Fyde] Uh, yeah.
Th-the student whose pit grows the most by [chuckles] week's end wins the lunch jackpot.
[chuckles] Yeah.
And, children, this is Mr.
Fyde's first day back.
His nerves are raw, so [shouting] Keep the noise down! [shuddering] Please don't make loud noises.
[chuckles] You heard him.
[shouting] No noise! Please don't.
[narrator] Unfortunately for Mr.
Fyde, an elementary school is practically built on noise.
-[whirring] -[gasps] -[bubbles pop] -[gasps] -[whirring] -[exclaims] [upbeat music] -[clinking] -[whimpering] [whirring, bagpipes blaring] [exclaims] [intense overlapping sounds] [groaning] Please be quiet! [bubbles pop, bagpipes fade] [clink] Whoa, you are a ticking time bomb.
Anyway, I want everyone to get their pits and grow, grow, grow! And if you're thinking it's because I want you kids to grow a bunch of avocados to make me a whole lot of free guacamole because guacamole is made from avocados and I love guacamole so much, I dream about it every night and want to take it on a vacation to Maui [inhales deeply] you're dead wrong.
[narrator] Actually So happy.
You have a crush on guacamole.
Yes.
No! I, uh-- a crush on-- I mean [chuckles] I'm-- I was [stammering] Sit down! Sitting.
Now everyone stay nice and quiet for Mr.
Fyde, 'kay? [inhales deeply] -[door slams] -[gasps] [narrator] So all the kids went avocado shopping after school at Avocadepot, the biggest, best, and only avocado-only store on Earth.
[man over PA system] Avocados, they are green What about this one? Almost, but too wrinkly.
Hmm.
Ooh, how about this one? Hmm, not wrinkly enough.
[man over PA system] Avocados, they always taste great [both] Yes! [fanfare] We're gonna eat like kings.
[gulping and grunting] I'm already working on stretching my jaw.
Aah! [narrator] Stanley Peet, a classmate so sweaty, he leaves a slippery trail behind him, was less picky about his pits.
Hey, avocad-bros! Find your pits? I got these from the bargain bin.
[dramatic music] Why are you all scratched up? There was a raccoon in the bin! [chuckles] But it was worth it.
[snarls] We got this contest in the bag.
Whoa! [both grunt] [crashing] [narrator] Melvin, however, was not engaged by such trivial activity.
Whatever, tiny avocado pit.
[narrator] His desire to attend his dream school, the Eliteanati Academy, was much more important.
Hello.
I'm Dr.
Chalice Aristocrab, Dean of Eliteanati Academy.
The best school, for the best minds, who may or may not become evil villains.
-Admission requires top-notch grades.
-No prob.
-College-level after-school work.
-Uh-duh.
[Chalice] And first prize in an avocado growing competition.
[gasps] What? What? [growls] Hmm.
Looks like we're back on, my little friend.
[George] It's not growing.
Something's wrong.
Uh, maybe it just needs more time.
It's still not growing! What do we do? I don't know! Eh, let's read to it! -What? Why? -I heard it makes plants grow better! Then what are we waiting for? [both] Comic book! [narrator] …by George Beard and Harold Hutchins.
[male narrator] Once there was this guy, Texo, who sold tacos.
"Hey, Texo's Tacos! Get 'em!" Then he had an idea to be more rich with big food.
So Texo got Mega Booster plant food and poured it on an avocado.
And the avocado grew and grew, until it was giant and alive! It was so awesome, Texo named it Avacadbro! Avacadbro! All customers loved Avacadbro, and Avacadbro was like, "I'm a giant, talking avocado who surfs.
What's not to like? Right?" But then Texo pushed his luck and poured Mega Booster on a spicy taco, and the taco grew even bigger than Avacadbro, and Texo went, "Wow! I'm gonna have a swimming pool of money and coins!" But the spicy in Texo's taco made the taco mean and shoot fireballs.
It was all, "Nobody's eatin' me, man!" Shoot, shoot, shoot! Ka-blaw! Ka-blaw! And it crushed buses and shot fireballs at the mayor's pants! Yeah, right when he was about to give a medal to who? Captain Underpants! Yay! Captain Underpants was all, "I'll save the day by eating this giant taco!" But when the Captain-- but, but, but, but when Captain Underpants tried to eat the giant taco, his face turned red crying and stuff, and he was all, "It's too spicy! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!" But then Avacadbro showed up to make the ultimate sacrifice and was all, "Eat me and I will keep your tongue as cool as I am.
" Because avocados, like, do that.
Captain Underpants was all sad he had to eat his new friend -to save the day, but he did it.
-[burps] [narrator] And then, like, dodging fireballs, kerboosh, he flew super fast into Texo's giant taco, smashed it, and ate the whole thing! And his tongue was cool and the world was all safe.
Hooray and all! Texo from Texo's Tacos gave Captain Underpants free Texo's tacos for life.
And from then on, every time Captain Underpants burped, he could kinda taste his old friend Avacadbro and it made him smile.
"The end.
" [both] Nothin'.
[shudders] And then Yes.
[sighs] Okay, this is much more peaceful.
Now, class, I'd like you all to-- [grunts] [grunts] Carry on.
Uh, I'm going to be unconscious for a while, so you-- yes, I'll [sighs] -How 'bout now? -Nothin'.
Let's see how the competition's stackin' up.
Quit now, simple-twins.
Your pit is inferior, just like you.
And I will show no mercy, pit or man! But your pit isn't even growing.
Oh.
[laughs] It will.
[laughs] It will! -Well, that was cree-- -[waggles tongue] Well, that was creepy.
Creepy, right? Yep.
Creepy.
Ah! Where's my guacamole? [grunts] Uh, I mean, how's the contest going? I want to see avocados to the ceiling in here to make, you know, all that delicious, tangy, velvety guacamole.
[sighs] Because Kruppy needs his guacy.
[babbling] [slurping] Mmm! [growls] So get to work! [whimpering] -[door slams] -[gasps] That guy really loves guacamole.
And we should give it to him.
Ugh.
You smell that? Yeah.
It's like a bunch of skunks fighting a bunch of diapers.
Hey, Stan.
Your avocados are pretty pungent.
They sure are.
You puttin' your pits in your pits there? [chuckles] Sure am.
[squish] Cool.
You gonna use that mush? Yeah, uh, mind if we borrow it? [mischievous music] [George] All clear.
Wonder where Miss Anthrope is.
Uh help.
[air hissing] [Harold] His face is gonna be as green as this rotten guac! [flies buzzing] [muffled speech] Speak up.
I can't hear you.
Can't hear you.
-What? -This is gonna be great.
What? [narrator] Unfortunately, George and Harold didn't know that Mr.
Krupp caught everything on his new nanny cam.
Caught red-handed by Miss Peeksy.
I got you, boys.
I got you.
[bell dings] [sniffs] Ugh.
Smells like a swamp full of other, smellier swamps.
It's clearly spoiled and likely dangerous.
Did you expect me to eat this? -I don't recommend it.
-What? I don't recommend it.
You think just because maybe I love guac I don't recommend it.
I can't stop myself from [gobbling and grunting] [stomach gurgling] Yep.
That was a mistake.
[retching] [fly buzzing] [retching continues] [gasps, swallows] [stomach gurgling] [retching] [gasps] -Did you call me? -No! Because I thought I heard-- I was puking! -Your sister called.
-Puking! Oh [sighs] You two went too far this time.
We said not to eat it.
What? Take those masks off! Ugh! Tainting perfectly innocent and wonderful guacamole.
[exclaiming and grunting] Ugh! I'm eliminating you from the Avocad-grow Competition! No prize for you! [both] No! [stutters] Wait! What if we, uh Grow an avocado tree! -Avocado tree? -A huge one! Loaded with fresh avocados! You'd have bottomless guacamole! That's ridiculous! Preposterous! I like it! You can stay in the competition, but you better grow that tree by next week! And now there's two reasons we got to win Avocadgrow.
And no time! How do we turn our pit into endless guacamole by Friday? It's useless.
We need a miracle.
-[door creaks open] -[Stanley] Hey, guys.
[narrator] Behold a miracle.
[bright music] Stanley! How'd you get your pits to grow so fast? Well, sir, my family's grown the biggest crops in Piqua for six generations.
[chuckles] How, you ask? Yeah.
We just asked you that.
[narrator] The answer is sweat.
Sweat helps plants grow bigger and faster.
And the Peet family sweats buckets, especially from their armpits.
I grow all sorts of things in my pits.
[chuckles] You can too! Say, you want some OJ? -Okay.
-Yeah, sure.
[Stanley] Fresh from the pit! [both gulping] [smacks lips] [giggles] Good! [burps] So good.
[chuckles] Thanks for the plan, Stan.
[dance music] All we got to do is sweat.
And we get our dream lunch.
It's win-win.
Let's drench this baby! [both grunting] Wha-- [both panting] [both screaming] [growling] It's working! We're saved! It only needs to grow another 30 feet or so.
We're doomed.
[narrator] But Harold and George weren't the only ones with a plan.
All I have to do is win Avocad-grow, and I get into Eliteanati Academy.
Then the world will know my name.
Melvin Sneedly.
They will sing it.
Melvin Sneedly! Or they will scream it.
Melvin Sneedly! But they will know it.
And this invention will make it happen.
I will call it the Piticle Accelerator 2000! [laughs maniacally] [upbeat electronic music] -[gasps] -[electronic warble] For the last time, Karaoke Kitty, I don't want to sing! [Mr.
Fyde] Well, class, as you know, I can't take any more [chuckles] noise, so this sensory deprivation tank will do the trick.
I-I won't be able to see or hear anything, so please behave.
[gasps] Whoa! [chuckles] That pit's a beauty! Yeah.
Thanks, Stan.
But we need a tree.
At least our pit is bigger than Melvin's.
Cute, Melvin.
[chuckles] [scoffs] You'll see.
[ominous music] Behold! Thanks to my Piticle Accelerator 2000, victory, as usual, will be mine! [beeping and whirring] [glass shatters] [gasps] Whoa! He grew a tree! We need a tree! And it's got to be bigger than that tree! [laughs] [blows raspberry] [wood creaking] [glass shatters] [spluttering] [grunts] Hey! No! Hey! Are you thinking what I'm thinking? [grunting] [narrator] As they say, "All's fair in love and war and giant avocado growing contests.
" Yes, I am.
Let's blast away! [beeping and whirring] Three Two [George] Look out! [electricity sparking] [Mr.
Fyde screaming] [both scream] [all gasp] [groaning] [whimpering] [grunts and moans] [Mr.
Fyde grunting] [growling] [all screaming] No noise! Oh, no! [growling] It's Avacadwoe! Fools! You should never turn it all the way up to "You So Crazy"! That's Piticle Accelerator 2000 101! Listen to me.
You must and will do whatever-- -[Avacadwoe growls] -[Melvin grunts] Ouchy! [grunting] [pants] I still count this as a win.
[growls] -[Avacadwoe] No noise! -[crashing] Where's my guaca-- Holy moly.
Stop making noise! [grunting] He's getting bigger! [growling] [car alarm wailing] [growling] I told you he was a ticking time bomb.
First we need you to do this.
[snaps fingers] [grunting] Tra-la [grunts] la! So what's up? Start from the beginning! That's gonna take some time.
Good! My schedule's wide open.
I have no friends or obligations! [narrator] While we wait, please enjoy this soothing musical interlude.
-[heavy metal music playing] - I like spaghetti! I like spaghetti! [narrator] So soothing.
Now back to our story.
So you got all that, right? Nope.
I was enjoying the music.
I like spaghetti! [dramatic music] [tweeting] [growling] Got ya! [smooches] -Huh? -[barking] -[indistinct chatter] -No noise! -[jackhammer pounding] -Quiet! Hey, slow down, big fella! I'm saving stuff as fast as I can.
-Quiet! -Uh [farting] Whoa! Whoa! Hey! Watch it! Ah! Ha-ha, not so fast, you-- Ooh! Ooh.
[growling] Hello, friend.
No noise! Hello.
I'm-a Hush Muffleman, the Peaceful Painter.
So! Avacadwoe is hanging Captain Underpants out-a to dry.
But these cute little ducklings will make it all better yet.
Ooh, getting your neck tied in a knot smarts, doesn't it? But not when Looky Lou the Clown is around.
Aw, we all hate to get-a squished.
But all this chocolate will help.
-[chair creaking] -Kids, don't worry.
I didn't get that bit either.
Parry, parry.
[both grunting] [dramatic music] [George and Harold panting] [grunting] Tra-la-la! [wood cracking] [fanfare] Yes! Ow! [maniacal laughter] -[yelps] -No! -Got to admit, impressive feature.
-True.
[growling] -[gasps] -Okay, Walkamole.
Let's dip.
-Tra-la-la! -[roars] [narrator] Take one guess.
[grunts] [clanging and crashing] Stop beeping! Aha! He hates anything that makes sound.
Can we put the world on mute? No.
But we can put him on mute.
Captain Underpants, you got anything to plug up avocado ears? I have underwear! Great! But do you have enough? Let's find out! Anyone see any good movies lately? Or go somewhere fun? I've always wanted to go to a luau.
That's probably enough underwear.
Yes, it is! Tra-la-la! [both grunting] [roars] -Whoa! -[car horn beeps, alarm wailing] -I heard that! -That didn't work.
If you won't be quiet, I'll make you quiet! I'll make the whole world quiet forever! [both screaming] [narrator] You may remember this from the beginning of the show.
Whoa! Flying car! This must be the future.
[heroic music] Whoa, that was close! Thanks! [gasps] [growling] Toothpicks! Go! Now! Good call.
Ow! Ooh! Eee! Ah! Oh! Ouch! Oh! No! Thank you! Ouch! [narrator] Captain Underpants and the boys took sanctuary in the woods behind the school, the best place in Piqua to get away from it all.
Avacadwoe wants it quiet.
So maybe he won't destroy everything if we find him a quiet place to go.
-Like a bowling alley! -I got nothing.
-An airport! -Me neither.
A peaceful forest! Captain Underpants, will you please Wait! That's it! The forest! Yeah.
It's perfect.
Here's what we got to do.
[suspenseful music] Yoo-hoo! No! Quiet! Oops! [roars] You want it quiet? You'll have to cut this racket! [discordant music] No! I think he likes it! Get moving! [growling] Yay! Can we always be this loud? -[George and Harold] No! -Quiet! [grunts] [discordant music continues] No! Keep it loud! Yes! Happy to! Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la! I'm so loud! I'm so loud! La-la-la! - I'm so loud! La-la-la! -No! [growling] -Now! -[growling] [dramatic music] Dirt! Let's get sweaty Stanley! Okay! [gasps] Sir! What's happening? [panting] Quiet! [calm music] It is quiet.
[Mr.
Fyde sighs] -[raccoon chittering] -[exclaiming] -[splash] -Ah.
What? What? Where are my clothes? What? Guacamole! [narrator] It worked.
[sighs] Thank you so much.
Being a tree is far quieter than being a teacher.
Actually, everything is.
[chuckles] Our pleasure, Mr.
Fyde.
Thanks to your avocados, it's a win-win-win.
I can't wait to eat food that doesn't fight back! [gobbling and grunting] [belches]